Andy Cook: Parenting 10 Kids and CEO @ Promise686. [How do you do it all?]

Summary

🎙️ Interesting Humans Podcast - Episode Summary

Episode: Andy Cook: Parenting 10 Kids and CEO @ Promise686. [How do you do it all?]
Host: Jeff Hopeck
Release Date: March 10, 2025

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1. Introduction to Andy Cook

In this episode, Jeff Hopeck welcomes Andy Cook, a remarkable individual balancing the roles of a father to ten children and the CEO of Promise686, a nonprofit dedicated to restoring families for children in need. Jeff expresses his eagerness to delve into Andy's daily life and understand how he manages such significant responsibilities.

Notable Quote:
Jeff Hopeck [00:00]: "Andy, for starters, has 10 children. So I think I have a thousand questions. So 100 per kid."

2. Early Life and Family Background

Andy Cook shares his upbringing in the Atlanta area, highlighting the influence of his parents. His father, a managing partner at a prominent Atlanta law firm specializing in real estate and banking law, instilled in him the importance of leadership and engaging people. His mother, described as a "forever theologian," fostered a deep-rooted faith and a systematic worldview in Andy.

Notable Quote:
Andy Cook [04:16]: "My mom is the forever theologian. She breaks everything down into pieces, is a systematic thinker."

3. Childhood Experiences and Their Impact

Growing up as the only boy among three sisters, Andy recounts memorable moments like receiving his first Jeep at 16 and the ensuing sibling dynamics. Sports, particularly football, played a significant role in his childhood, teaching him aggression and resilience. He vividly describes adventurous and sometimes perilous activities on a steep hill near his home, which metaphorically influenced his approach to challenges later in life.

Notable Quote:
Andy Cook [07:53]: "Somewhere along the way, I learned that being utterly aggressive could work for me."

4. Education and Seminary

Andy attended Westminster High School in Atlanta, where he was recognized as a leader despite not having a clear career path. He pursued higher education at Washington and Lee University in Lexington, Virginia, where he continued his involvement in sports until a knee injury ended his football career. Post-college, Andy attended seminary outside Boston, initially contemplating a role in pastoral work or academia but ultimately seeking a calling that blended faith and public life.

Notable Quote:
Andy Cook [20:54]: "I just want you to be encouraged that your only responsibility is just to figure out the next punch."

5. Teaching and Growth at Wesleyan School

After seminary, Andy took a teaching position at Wesleyan School near Charleston, South Carolina, where his passion for coaching and student engagement flourished. He transitioned from teaching classes to taking on administrative roles, including admissions and fundraising. This experience honed his skills in marketing, leadership, and understanding the intricate needs of a community-focused institution.

Notable Quote:
Andy Cook [37:10]: "I remember one of the early marketing analyst moments was understanding that people pursue independent schools, private schools, most often for safety."

6. Transition to Promise686

Despite a successful career in education, Andy felt a pull towards addressing broader societal issues, particularly child welfare. As a board member of Promise686 since its inception in 2008-2009, he observed the organization's growth from a small grant-making entity to a nationwide tech-driven platform supporting foster care systems. Encouraged by his mentor, Jeff, Andy overcame his fears and transitioned from his stable role in education to lead Promise686.

Notable Quote:
Andy Cook [62:13]: "Do you think God owns the cattle on a thousand hills? And I knew the verse and I was kind of mad at him in the moment for asking supremacy."

7. Overcoming Fear and Embracing Faith

Andy discusses the pivotal moment of choosing faith over fear when deciding to lead Promise686. Faced with the fear of failure and the uncertainty of managing a nonprofit with limited resources, he leaned into his faith, trusting that divine providence would guide the organization's growth. This decision marked the beginning of Promise686's significant expansion and impact.

Notable Quote:
Andy Cook [58:08]: "I could either choose faith and say, if this is something God wants me to do, I will say yes wholeheartedly, not knowing how it's going to come together."

8. Promise686's Mission and Growth

Under Andy's leadership, Promise686 evolved from a local organization serving Metro Atlanta to a nationwide platform connecting over 2,100 churches across 41 states. The nonprofit now leverages technology to mobilize resources, ensuring that more children can remain within their families and receive the support they need. Andy emphasizes the critical role of churches in providing safe, loving environments for children, aligning with the organization's biblical foundation.

Notable Quote:
Andy Cook [75:32]: "If you're someone who's a person of Christian faith and you're looking at, you go, I desperately want to see the church step up and do their thing."

9. Personal Life and Parenting

Balancing a large family, Andy reflects on the challenges and rewards of parenting ten children, ranging from 26-year-olds to 11-year-olds. He shares insights into fostering independence in his children, addressing academic and personal struggles, and creating a supportive home environment. Andy's wife, Martha, plays a crucial role as a counselor, helping the family navigate complex emotional landscapes.

Notable Quote:
Andy Cook [74:27]: "There's a suburb, I'm getting close to it. I'm living in a way that's very intentional, making sure my kids feel safe and connected."

10. Future Vision and Advice

Looking ahead, Andy envisions a future where he focuses on leading leaders within Promise686, empowering his team to drive the organization's mission. Personally, he aims to support his adult children as they navigate their own paths while cherishing moments with his younger children. Andy offers sage advice to his younger self and listeners alike: embrace confidence, take risks, and prioritize people over productivity.

Notable Quote:
Andy Cook [66:10]: "Be bolder, confident. You don't have to have it all locked up and understood."

11. Concluding Thoughts and Hope

Andy concludes with a message of hope, emphasizing the transformative power of investing in people and fostering genuine connections. He highlights the positive shifts he observes in churches nationwide, as they engage more deeply in child welfare efforts, embodying both faith and action. Andy's journey serves as an inspiring testament to overcoming fear through faith and dedication.

Notable Quote:
Andy Cook [76:43]: "Everything that we do, I guess the great hope is that people are responding to the harder tasks of faith. If you can do those things and walk with people in pain, that's transformative."

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Key Takeaways:

• Balancing Family and Leadership: Andy Cook exemplifies how one can successfully manage a large family while leading a nationwide nonprofit.

• Overcoming Fear with Faith: His transition from a stable career in education to leading Promise686 underscores the importance of trusting one's faith in the face of uncertainty.

• Role of Churches in Child Welfare: Promise686's mission highlights the vital role that faith-based organizations can play in supporting foster care systems.

• Personal Growth and Advising the Younger Self: Andy's reflections offer valuable insights into personal development, leadership, and the importance of investing in people over productivity.

This episode of Interesting Humans provides an in-depth look into Andy Cook's life, showcasing his resilience, faith-driven leadership, and unwavering commitment to making a positive impact on children's lives nationwide.

Transcript

[Host]

All right, today I want to introduce you to a friend of mine. Andy Cook, his name is. And Andy, for starters, has. They have 10 children. So I think I have a thousand questions. So 100 per kid.

[Andy Cook]

That's what I was thinking. I did the math real quick too. It's incredible.

[Host]

But Andy's also started a really, really fascinating nonprofit called Promise 686. So we're going to dive into those two things today. I want to see a day in the life, Andy. I'm dying to hear it. You wake up in the morning, we got school. What does it all look like? How does it work?

[Andy Cook]

Well, it better start with me being out before them. That's been the key over the years, is start. Okay, good. Recently I've gotten back into working out. I took a 20 year break. A college athlete, I like that. Retired. Except for a nonprofit, there's some fundraising. So once a year we would do this fundraising event where I needed to run. So I had to be in decent shape once a year to go run a few miles. But that was it.

[Host]

Where was that? What was that called?

[Andy Cook]

The, the Promise race. Oh, the Promise race.

[Guest]

Oh, okay.

[Andy Cook]

So promise 686. So recently I've returned to working out. So that, that's start super early, go with a group of guys, A lot of accountability in that, and then come in in theory, ready to go.

[Host]

I like that.

[Andy Cook]

Gosh, if I don't, I don't have a little time for me to kind of initiate the day if I, I feel like I'm starting behind and that. That is like one of the few me things. Yeah, I love that. So I gotta roll it back though, because we are on the way on the other side of kids in many respects. We are down to three in the house. So let me kind of go back 5, 10 years when it was waking up with all those kids, I was not working out. So that pattern was not in my life whatsoever. Most days it just meant this rush of activity around the, the little kitchen, bar island thing. Right. So it was like people are doing laps and you're just watching it go down and you're doing everything to set people up to not forget things. But we had to teach our kids tons of independence early on.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Andy Cook]

Because the age range for us today is 10. Excuse me, 11. I've got two 11 year olds up to 26. So when the bulk of my kids join my family, yeah, we went from five to 10 kids all at once. The two little guys were two and man, I gotta tell you, and some of them will listen to this conversation. They know this to be true. We. We miss some kids here and there. You know, the ones who could. Who could really take care of themselves are like, good job. Because it was just utter chaos.

[Guest]

Oh, my God.

[Andy Cook]

All the time. All the time.

[Host]

Five to ten.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Andy Cook]

That was a big jump. That's a big. That's a big one to two is a huge jump.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Host]

I'm sure everybody out there is saying.

[Andy Cook]

What I'm all times like a conversation killer when people bring up their kids and, you know, we'll be in a setting. Oh, yeah, we got four kids. It's so hard. And it's. What about you? And I'm like, I don't want to rain in a parade. Like, four kids is really, really hard because three kids today that we have still at home. Really hard. But, yeah, the 10 kid thing was insane. And we laugh a lot. You know that we're still recovering from a window in our lives where we. There was just no. No chance to catch up and no chance to process. It was just go, go, go, roller skates. You know, kids who joined our family later in their lives experience a lot.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Andy Cook]

Big needs.

[Guest]

We'll get it.

[Host]

We'll get into all that. So I like to say the reason I started doing this, started doing interviews, is I love transferring knowledge. And I find that when I talk to people, when I. When I get their whole story, start to finish, what are the pivotal points? What are some things you did that you wish you didn't do? What are books you read? What are mentors you had? What are all those type of things? So, like, getting that.

[Andy Cook]

Yeah.

[Host]

And then sharing it with the world. So let's go all the way back. Take me all the way back where you're born and raised. Let's talk about Andy as a kid.

[Andy Cook]

We're in the Atlanta area right now, so I'm in Atlanta. Native.

[Host]

Native.

[Andy Cook]

There you go.

[Guest]

Okay.

[Andy Cook]

Piedmont Hospital on Peachtree Road. In the. In the heart of things in Atlanta is where. Where it all started.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Andy Cook]

I'm one of four kids, so three sisters, two older, one young.

[Guest]

Okay.

[Host]

Two older, one younger.

[Andy Cook]

Got it. And amazing parents. Parents moved out of Atlanta, now live up in north Georgia, so they retired away from all the activity.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Host]

What did your folks do?

[Andy Cook]

My dad's a lawyer.

[Guest]

Okay.

[Andy Cook]

You know, he hasn't practiced now for a bit, but I think in his case, once a lawyer, always a lawyer. Thinks.

[Host]

What kind of law?

[Andy Cook]

A lot of real estate, banking.

[Guest]

Oh.

[Andy Cook]

So worked for just a big, big Atlanta law Firm for. For a lot of years.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Andy Cook]

Was a managing partner in that. So there was a leadership piece of it for him that I think really didn't mean a lot to me at the time. But what I was learning about life from him. Yeah, a lot of it came around the idea of how do you engage people and take them a direction.

[Guest]

The.

[Andy Cook]

Not the politics of the firm per se, but the. The role of managing people. I think that's something that we would hear about on the home front here and there. We never really heard about banking law, but.

[Guest]

Right.

[Andy Cook]

But we did hear about the troubles of. Of that.

[Guest]

We.

[Andy Cook]

We'd always go as kids every summer, different location was always changing to like a. A firm party. And it was always outdoors. It was always, you know, July. And we would go to the middle of nowhere, it seemed, and celebrate with this group of lawyers their year. And we were connected to their families and my parents. Faith is a huge deal to them. And so that was a piece actually of his law firm. And so before, it seemed like it was maybe talked about as much as it is commonly now where people are talking about how do they bring their faith into their work in a way that's really vibrant and helpful.

[Guest]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Andy Cook]

I feel like my dad was doing that even at that point in time. So. I grew up with amazing parents. My mom is the forever theologian. She breaks everything down into. Into pieces, is a systematic thinker. And she. She can, she can talk. She biblically, she. She knows the Bible incredibly well. So I grew up in a setting where faith was something that was really thought about and talked about in like this kind of word we don't use as much now. Worldview. Yeah, there was a worldview there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We were processing a lot. So a lot of thinking in my upbringing. Not feeling, Feeling loved, but a lot of thinking too.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Host]

That's awesome. Really, really cool.

[Guest]

All right.

[Host]

Relationship with siblings close from day one.

[Andy Cook]

I'm the only boy, as I said. So I'm the guy who challenged my older sister in the sense that she's. She's the. She's a go getter. She's amazing. And then I'd come along and have my own sort of go getter thing as the early boy family. So I was the golden boy from their perspective. I enjoyed that, although I didn't love hearing about it all the time. When I turned 16, I got this old Jeep that. I don't know how cool it was, but I know how cool I felt. And one of the first comments I remember from my Sister was her saying, you know, I. I wanted to get a jeep.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Andy Cook]

But mom and dad said that would never happen because I'm a girl. I was like, I'm sorry. You know, I'm sorry. So there were, There were advantages, I guess, to being the only boy in the crew.

[Guest]

Oh, that.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Guest]

I had.

[Andy Cook]

I had a privileged upbringing in many respects. Great education.

[Host]

Sports.

[Andy Cook]

Sports, lots of sports. Okay. Love sports.

[Host]

What'd you excel at?

[Andy Cook]

I was, you know, I was the most sporadic batter in baseball.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Andy Cook]

I was the guy who could hit a line drive every 10th time and then strike out and would, you know, bat fourth or fifth through my little league days. I used to have this dream as a kid where it was. I. I don't think I had any recurring dreams, or maybe I didn't. I don't remember them. But there was one dream where I was falling. So it's like in some sort of black void, right? Falling through darkness.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Andy Cook]

It's not a good dream. This nightmare not happen. And as I fell, I was swinging and striking out over and over and over again. I was a head case. That was not a good sport for me.

[Host]

I retired, striking out.

[Andy Cook]

So football was. Was the main thing that I did.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Andy Cook]

Somewhere along the way, I learned that being utterly aggressive could work for me. I'm not. Horrible golfer, to this day, horrible. I went with a group of friends, some guys that, you know, one of them said, you know, I run a non profit. So they said, hey, if you get a hole in one in the course of these. Next. It was part three. Next, I think it was just nine whole parts. We will kick in $10,000 to your nonprofit, which would go a long way in helping, Helping kids and what I do.

[Guest]

Right.

[Andy Cook]

I was a head case from that moment on. I mean, I almost whipping the ball. But that's the technicals of sports.

[Guest]

Right.

[Andy Cook]

The more intricate, the more hand eye coordination, more muscle memory, the worse I am. But if you say, go run into somebody, I got you.

[Host]

So football was China shop, kind of.

[Guest]

That's awesome.

[Host]

So somebody asked me this question about geography.

[Andy Cook]

Very cool.

[Host]

I've never ever, ever heard it asked, how did geography. So you're. You're from this area, but this area look different when you were growing up. How did that shape what you do today? So I look back at mine, it was, it was, it was just really cool to go through the exercise. I'm from mountainous area, coal mine kind of town.

[Andy Cook]

How did.

[Host]

How those activities that we did as kids translate into like, what do I do today? And what am I interested in, like, going to explore was the biggest one that came out for me.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Host]

Was like we would go in this. They're called like stripping mines, where the giant steam shovels would dig massive, massive holes and we would take a day to get to the bottom of. And I think of how many times we almost died. But that's a separate subject.

[Andy Cook]

But your family allowed for you, your parents love for you to go do it too. Right?

[Guest]

Right.

[Host]

And we explore. So like, for me, one of our favorite things to do, especially when it's cold and the snakes are underground, take the kids, we put on our boots and we go out in the woods and just explore. They each bring a bag and we fill it with cool stuff. It might be, you know, they brought back a little dog toy that's been chewed up for probably two decades, but they thought that was cool. They threw it in the bag.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Host]

So like the exploring thing, does anything come to mind for you, geography wise?

[Andy Cook]

Yeah. Life revolved around a hill. The street I was on, very steep hill. In fact, before we moved in, the street had been really clear. And probably the reason that it made sense for a developer to come in and build the lots is because of a tornado that came. Would have been early to maybe early 80s, late 70s.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Andy Cook]

And so this steep hill was. Was it. I mean, every day involved the trek to Charlie's house at the bottom of the street and the track back. And there's all sorts of plotting and planning about how do you take on the hill, the back and the fourth.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Andy Cook]

Coming back up, do you kind of go like this up the hill, the way down, you just fly somewhere. When I was around 13, my dad and I went and found this old motorcycle that my. My aunt had owned. And so she gave it to us. We cleaned it up, we cranked it up. We managed to crack the carburetor. So it would. You'd crank it and you'd ride for a while and it would drip gas onto the engine head area and eventually there'd be a backfire and catch on fire. You stop, you jump. All people, all that happened on the hill, Multiple big wheel injuries, one. One other little motorcycle thing that something crank up and the accelerator would lock. And I almost died on that hill. Everything was about that hill. So what does that have to do with present day? I have absolutely no idea. I'm trying to think of it as I go. I think that's great. I think for me, the quest thing, the expedition thing, the danger thing, those are all parts of Growing up.

[Guest]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Andy Cook]

It was like our little Mount Everest. Right outside. It was just a. A hill with 10 houses on it.

[Guest]

That's it.

[Host]

How are you going to navigate it today? Yeah, everything looks. Every day is probably different.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Host]

One day it could be slippery. One day it could be rainy. One day. Right. I mean, that's cool.

[Guest]

Yeah. It's just a neat.

[Host]

It's just a neat question.

[Andy Cook]

Yeah, no, I think a lot about sort of the landscape of my childhood and the things you kind of referenced it, even that you got to do in terms of expeditions. I'm in this business now of trying to restore and establish families for kids who don't have them. So I'm thinking a lot about what is it that kids need to really thrive.

[Guest]

Right. Yeah.

[Andy Cook]

And that sense of. Of expedition, of journey, of. Of bravery, that's a big deal. And, you know, I. I thought falsely early on that children who came through foster care, because that's really the. The finest part of our work is to help kids stay out of foster care.

[Guest]

Okay.

[Andy Cook]

Or keep them strong in the families while they're being fostered.

[Host]

Right.

[Andy Cook]

But I thought the. The. The adversity of those experiences would actually create grit in kids. And ironically, the. The opposite is the case where you don't have firm attachment, then the adversity that comes in life actually breaks you down rather than builds you up. So if you do have a strong attachment to a parent, presumably a mom or dad, you can take on that adversity, and it makes you stronger anyway, so I think a lot about how to help kids develop that grid, but also, how do you do that in the context of adventures, of journeys? Because so much of what we want for our kids is that they grow up. They'd be brave enough to live independently, to go out.

[Host]

That's fast. So that's wild at heart type of stuff.

[Andy Cook]

Yeah, I think so.

[Host]

That's really cool. Grit. Okay, that's. We'll come back on that. I want to. I want to recircle there, so. All right, so I got a good feel for growing up. And then we got promise 686. But we got one more jump in the middle. So let's come into, like, high school, college. Let's talk about. Let's start off, where'd you go? Where'd you go to high school?

[Andy Cook]

So there's a school in Atlanta. Westminster.

[Host]

Okay, Westminster. Any idea what you wanted to do in your life when you went to high school?

[Andy Cook]

Absolutely nothing.

[Host]

See, moral of the story. I love that.

[Andy Cook]

I want to.

[Host]

I want to Shine a light on that. Now it's like, oh, my goodness. Like, if you don't know what you want to be in high school, nothing.

[Andy Cook]

Nothing.

[Host]

That was like that in college, but now it's like high school. You got to know exactly what school you want to get into when you're a freshman, so you could start.

[Andy Cook]

We got a friend who told us, don't send your kids to college if they don't know exactly what they. They want to do.

[Host]

We'll support.

[Andy Cook]

We're not. We didn't play it that way.

[Guest]

Yeah, right, Right.

[Host]

A little different. So, all right, what kind of student? Guess I'm pretty good student.

[Andy Cook]

Pretty. Pretty good student. You know, kind of the B plusy, some A's type student.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Andy Cook]

I wanted to think I was smart.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Andy Cook]

Actually, I was thinking about it the other day. My. My sisters were really smart. There was a particular test I took. I don't know if it was like an IQ test or what it was. It's actually pre high school, but it goes back to late elementary school where they had this course called. I think they called it challenge at my public elementary school.

[Guest]

Like that.

[Andy Cook]

And you could go be part of challenge, or if you didn't quite qualify, you didn't make challenge. And my sisters had made challenge. They were the academic lead in our very small elementary school.

[Guest]

Yep.

[Andy Cook]

And I didn't make it. And then come, like, fourth grade, I retook the test, and I made it. And I remember kind of for the first time in my life, because my parents actually pointed it out that I had done better on that little test than my sisters. But they were so smart. And as a. As a point of comparison, I was like, oh, well, maybe I am kind of smart like me, you know, I can do challenge, you know, or whatever that time. So I was always going into my. My high school years in college. I. I love ideas, I love critical thinking. I love problem solving, and I love that. Then my parents probably listen to this and be like, did you?

[Guest]

Yeah, but. Right.

[Andy Cook]

I really. I really did. So I wasn't. I wasn't a wonderful student. I probably wasn't disciplined enough to. To memorize everything, but if you wanted me to think about it, I love thinking.

[Guest]

Interesting. Yeah. Okay.

[Host]

So still playing sports?

[Andy Cook]

Played sports all the way through. Played into college, played football and tore my knee up and retired from there.

[Host]

Where was. Where was college?

[Andy Cook]

College was Washington and Lee University up in Lexington, Virginia. So, yeah.

[Host]

Cool.

[Andy Cook]

One of my sons, my youngest is 11. As I mentioned, he said to me, literally yesterday he's like, dad, I just realized that Washington LE football wasn't very good. He'd been thinking that I was at Notre Dame or University of Georgia. You know, college football players. Yeah, we weren't that good. He's like.

[Host]

He's like, awesome.

[Andy Cook]

Like, can anybody make the team? I was like, so age 11 is when he found out his dad wasn't a hero, so.

[Host]

But a hero in many other ways. So I would. I'm guessing you were in. So in college, were you saying, one day I'm going to have a huge family, 10 kids.

[Guest]

Right.

[Host]

I mean, that's not.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Host]

But some people do desire that. They're like, they come from a giant family and they know right out of the gate what they're going to do. So that wasn't you. All right, Go to college. Come out. Come back to Georgia.

[Andy Cook]

There was a graduate school in there, so went to seminary outside Boston.

[Guest]

Okay.

[Andy Cook]

I lived up in Gloucester on the North Shore.

[Host]

A friend from there, oh, my God.

[Andy Cook]

She in the North Shore?

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Andy Cook]

A couple years on the North Shore above Boston, then moved kind of due west of Boston to the Newton Wellesley area. First job was with a little think tank. Coming out of graduate school, I studied. So everybody went to seminary for the most part to be a pastor or to be a professor, to teach theology. I didn't, you know, you ask about, did I know what I want to do in high school? No. Did I know what I wanted to do in college? No. Did I know what I wanted to do when I went to graduate school, to seminary? The answer is still no. I really went thinking, okay, well, I'm going to pray about this and God surely will show me what this is going to mean, but I know this is the next step. And, wow. I can remember actually being so troubled around what I was supposed to do with my life early, really in college, it was having to pick a major was like a milestone. If you don't do this right, your whole future is blown.

[Host]

That's right.

[Andy Cook]

Silly. But it felt that way. And I remember the summer after my freshman year, spending the whole summer looking after this. Like, I'm going to go meet with someone, so I'll talk to someone. Had this whole plan for how I was going to discern what my major would be. And I got to the end of the summer and I was actually working for a local church as like, an assistant in their youth ministry program. And we were on a mission trip in Nashville, Tennessee, and it was like any of those types, mission type service projects, you know, sweat it out yeah, yeah. And at night we'd have a different activity. The particular night they were sending us to some sort of worship service and we didn't know anything about it. I still don't know anything about it. And again, I'm supposed to be somewhat of a leader in this thing. Sure. And I'm just troubled because I know I'm going back to college in a couple of weeks and I still don't know what my major will be, much less what that might mean. Down.

[Guest]

Wow.

[Andy Cook]

And this guy comes up to me, never met him, probably my age now, probably 40 something year old, and says, hey, excuse me.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Andy Cook]

He says, you know, I can see you're really troubled. And I'm like, can you, you know, is it that obvious? Wow. He said, he said, you know, I just, I just had a message that's on my heart to share with you. And he said, you know, I. I want you to picture a boxer. And I'm like, boxer, which way? We're going canine. Human. Human boxer.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Andy Cook]

And he said, you know, boxers don't actually know what punches they're going to throw each round.

[Host]

Right.

[Andy Cook]

So really it's a punch and go. It's. It's a one at a time and you set up the next for the next combination. You're. I just want you to know, I just want you to be encouraged that your only responsibility is just to figure out the next punch. Don't figure out the second, the third, the fourth, the fifth round, figure out the whole fight just one punch at a time. He said, punch and go. Got it? And I said, yeah.

[Guest]

Wow.

[Andy Cook]

And he walked off. I don't know who he is.

[Host]

You never saw him before?

[Andy Cook]

No, no, I've never seen him before.

[Host]

Never saw him since?

[Guest]

No, no.

[Andy Cook]

And, you know, it was just one of those times where you go, okay, clearly, clearly, that's incredible. There was something there for me in that moment and I took that to heart. And now I've got. Some of my kids are in that college window and a couple different occasions have gone back to that moment and. Yeah, hey, guys, let's just figure out the next step, right? So for me, that step became to be an English major, you know, which was really random.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Andy Cook]

And then going on to seminary, I, I just knew that was the next step. That was, that was the next punch. And when I, when I went there, I really wanted to study where, where faith and public life or politics or even policy, where they, where they hit, where they intersect. And sometimes they do hit, of course. And that was what I knew I wanted to learn about. I didn't know what I would do with that. But interestingly, in, in that summer after freshman year of college, that was the other thing that I took away from my trip to Nashville. One was punch and go, and two was I want to do something with faith and politics. So I went after. Took classes as I could to the degree that you can control that sort of thing.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Andy Cook]

In seminary, studied people like William Wilberforce and just made sure that I understood it's kind of the historical relationship between those two. And this would have been late 90s. So you're coming out of kind of a religious right push. There's the push, the 80s, the moral maturity. There's the push, the 90s, where ultimately you're, you're, you're kind of saying some of the pushing that had happened in my lifetime, while there were some things that Christians might say were good, there was also some abuses and how that played out.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Andy Cook]

And there was a lot of hurt caused in it. And you could even argue there was some of those things set the church on the whole back from the witness it would have in the world because it became highly politicized. Certain churches did at least. And so when I was, when I was studying all those things, I was, I was just eating it up, never guessing it would have any bearing on exactly what I would do later.

[Guest]

Sure.

[Andy Cook]

So spoiler alert. What I do is I really connect the church on the whole individual churches around the nation.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Andy Cook]

To government. The government is responsible, as they should be, for identifying when children need to come out of homes. And so in a sense, they, they, they have access to the needs of children through social workers, but they don't have the means to meet those needs. The only people that can meet those needs are families. And churches have all these families who are motivated. This is, this is a, this is a Christian endeavor. You know, got James 1:27. That pure religion loves caring for widows and orphans in their need. We don't use the word orphans in the US Foster care system, but biblically, that matches up. So I would have never guessed that I would end up with so many years later a career that actually is.

[Host]

In a way, church and state doing just that. Oh, my goodness. So where you started talking about politics, where did that come from in your life?

[Andy Cook]

That come from. I had been told in my high school years that I was a leader. Not we all tell everybody there a leader. But I, I believed it. For some reason. I was like, yeah, leader, I'm special. I'm Whether that was the case. But you're right, that was something that was kind of stuck on me from an early age.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Andy Cook]

Now I was that kid who grew super early so like seventh, eighth grade, I was almost as tall as I am now. I'm kind of average height person. It meant I was a dominant force in like JV football because I was bigger than everybody.

[Guest]

Right.

[Andy Cook]

My days are numbered. That's cool. As far as being the dominant force. But I grew early and I don't know if it was in part because like literally I stood out and so people would frequently come to me, teachers, coaches. There was an expectation that I would be a leader and I'm grateful for that.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Andy Cook]

I'm grateful that people called me to, to having a voice, to understanding the example of my life in an early, an early age. So I think if you stand at a sort of naive spot as a 18 year old go, I'm a leader. What do I do in my mind?

[Host]

Sure.

[Andy Cook]

Do you for office or do you become a pastor? I mean that's probably as the dichotomy. As simple as it was to me. That's probably what I was thinking.

[Host]

Absolutely.

[Andy Cook]

Now obviously there are a few more ways to be a leader than that, but that, that's probably where that idea started to kind of ruminate in me.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Andy Cook]

And I think maybe developed out of there.

[Host]

I'll be curious, what did you see politics as that early? Because you just struck a chord with me. I'm thinking of, I took this politics class in college and what I thought I was taking like what I thought of politics versus Fast forward three decades now and like what politics really is and how it shapes and plays a role in society, in our life and our kids lives and our school and our choices and all these other things. Do you, do you recall a memory where you were like, oh, I'm getting into this subject because it's going to do this for me or do you think you had a pretty good feel of what politics is?

[Andy Cook]

I think I was building off of, of history classes that they're statesmen.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Andy Cook]

This is this noble.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Andy Cook]

Approach to living. I don't think I had much of a clear idea. Including the fact that our, the, the political hunger in our nation, at least in the last decade or so has been for people who voice positions at extremes and moderate outlooks aren't really exciting enough to hold the attention of most listeners.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Andy Cook]

So I, I think, I think I saw sort of a moderate, persuasive, not moderate in particular issues but Just more as a temperament.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Andy Cook]

Moderation. And, you know, I've kind of like you. I've kind of watched things. I'm like, yeah. You know, it's radically different. What about you? It's. Give me your. Your thought on that.

[Guest]

I.

[Host]

You know, when I remember the course in college that I took, it was this night class. Not even knowing what it was. I took it just because, like, I had to take, like, three more core classes to graduate. And the only thing that fit my schedule was. Was that class.

[Guest]

That's.

[Host]

That's how I saw it was certainly. I mean, they gotta teach. They have to teach what they have to teach.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Host]

Right. So I get that and I respect that, but it's not at all, like, what is politics in life? Like, how does it work in life? I would say the biggest difference for me was, like, not having an application. Like, we didn't talk about how each side viewed the world. I couldn't tell you in college, like, what is a Republican?

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Host]

What is a Democrat? What do they really believe? Not just, like, I can't stand the phrase, like, one side wants to keep all your money. One side wants to give it away. Like, all right, but the real brass tax. Like, what makes us different? Why are you going to vote for Clinton? Why are you going to vote for Bush? Like, why? What do you believe? I don't feel. I know at the time I. That that wasn't even on. On my radar. I don't even want to know what gets taught in school.

[Andy Cook]

That's true. So we're not even going to bring.

[Host]

But we won't even talk about.

[Andy Cook]

I'm imagining. And. Yeah, we shouldn't go.

[Host]

I could guess. I could sort of guess. But yeah. Interesting. All right. So was that that major. Was it called politics in seminary?

[Andy Cook]

No. You had to pick. Pick kind of a traditional major. So the closest I could find that was ethics. Okay. So, yeah, master's really cool in theology. But inside of theology, so I like.

[Host]

Another thing that I highlighted I. I think is fascinating is you said you don't go into seminary, you don't have to study, like, being a pastor. I thought you only studied that so you can go to seminary and come out and not have a past. That's wild. Yeah.

[Andy Cook]

You know, there. You know, so my wife also went to that same seminary, so we talked about Martha yet.

[Host]

Did you know each other?

[Andy Cook]

We did. So we started dating our freshman year in college.

[Guest]

Okay.

[Andy Cook]

And dated all the way through into this adventure of figuring out where to go next. Yeah. Got to have Together and she wanted to go into counseling and she actually is, is a counselor and that's, that's her work and specializes in marriage counseling actually sex therapist too is some of, some of her work and she, she is an incredible woman and super, super driven. Has a lot of agency. Like if she wants to get it done, she is going to find a way to make it happen. So she went to, to, to be a Christian counselor. There are a lot of people there in the seminary space who really just hyper interest. Some of them are really more I'd say arguably interested in sort of the history of philosophy. But come at it from a Christian perspective. There are a lot of people who want to go and teach, which we skipped a part of my life. I was a teacher for 10 years so. And that wasn't, wasn't what I thought I was going to do with it, but it certainly set me up.

[Host]

So out of school, that's what you did. So you had your certificate, you went to teach and that was here, local. I'll let you tell the story. That's where I know bits and pieces. But where, where was that? What school would you teach?

[Andy Cook]

Yes, there's a school not far from where we are, Wesleyan School. I had been in the high school in, in Atlanta and I had a football coach who was an incredible mentor to me. He came to my wedding, stayed involved, plugged in my life. Somebody who just was a very constant voice in my life. We would do things even we're jumping around but even in high school years where we did a lot of goal setting and he would follow up on those goals. I remember my senior year we had set goals, you know, September and he pulled those things out May and we kind of graded ourselves. Yeah, hot on all my goals. But he was just a really extraordinary life giving mentor. But coach, not just football coach, but you know, life coach.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Andy Cook]

Anyway, as I was graduating from Sydney, I had still no idea what I wanted to do. You know, you look for wise counsel, you call certain people. So he was top of the list. Hey, you know, next to my parents. Hey Mark, tell me, tell me about schools in Charleston, South Carolina. Why Charleston? Because Charleston's beautiful. Because I've been married for you know, a couple of years at that point. We got married shortly after college and Martha and her family had always gone to the Charleston area for vacations as kids. And we're like, hey, you know, look, if great idea, I can have a calling to do something. Why can't it be in an awesome spot? I'm not sure, Charleston's too awesome, the city in the summer, but most times a year it'd be great. So I'm talking to my buddy Mark, and he says, I don't really know a whole lot about schools in Charleston, but I've since left where. Where you were for high school. But I'm at Wesleyan now and would love for you to come just check it out. And I had no money. I had missed multiple. Again from Atlanta, I'm in Massachusetts. I've missed multiple weddings of friends and key life moments because I just. I don't have two nickels.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Andy Cook]

And he says the key words. He says, the school will pay for you to fly down here. Oh, you'll interview and teach a class. And I'm like, gosh, you know, all I gotta do is teach a class and I get to free trip home. So we booked the flights and I was bought. You know, I came home on Wesleyan's dime. And what I remember about the day teaching, there was a conversation with one particular student. He was a junior in high school. And I asked him, kind of, why Wesleyan? What do you love about this place? And he conveyed that the teachers were heavily invested in his life, that his. Some of his teachers were some of his best friends. And what my buddy Mark, who's connecting me into this, had done in my life seemed to be relatively normal in that. Something I'd done.

[Host]

Wow.

[Andy Cook]

My seminary years and college years, I'd been a young life leader. I think young life's a pretty great ministry. And so the idea of being relational and connected in a way, even in a setting that allowed for me to love and care for kids, walk with them through growing up, which is tough, that was super appealing. And so my thought wasn't, oh, I want to be a teacher. My thought was, I'll do this for a few years. This is a good place to land.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Andy Cook]

You know, really, that was about it. So that's. That's how I got down there. I remember I taught a class that day. I just remember the responses of some of the kids. And I remember thinking, I'm not sure I'm going to be a very good teacher. The eyes said it all.

[Host]

What was the class?

[Andy Cook]

It was an Old Testament class. And there's part of the Bible that talks about the day of atonement, which is a pretty big deal where in the Old Testament was a big deal in its own right. But it speaks to what happens in the New Testament. One of those crazy moments where the Old Testament is prophetically sharing about something that Actually happens when Christ shows up so many years later.

[Host]

It's incredible.

[Andy Cook]

And so I'm very passionate about this. I hadn't actually studied it in great detail, but having studied in preparation for this class, I'm fired up. But it was like last period of the day on a Friday. I remember thinking, I am throwing my best here before the Christmas break. Yeah, yeah, exactly. I guess it was good enough. So somehow, somehow I got the job. And it was a great place to develop professionally wonderful leaders in that environment that I still to, to this day ask myself weekly, you know, what would, what would Zach do with this situation that I'm in? And Zach Yellen was the headmaster of that school.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Andy Cook]

Great leader. So that there's just a lot of modeling that happened in that space.

[Guest]

Yeah. Wow.

[Host]

And you, you continue to grow and evolve and.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Host]

More classes or how did it all work?

[Andy Cook]

So yeah, so I taught, but I quickly found that I. I loved coaching, coach football, coach soccer. They also had a chapel program, so I helped lead the chapel band. Not with the guitar up front, but helped the student led worship service. So I love those things. I did teach two or three classes, but more and more taught less and got to be a bigger part of the administration there. So I was the admissions director in social marketing and I got to be the fundraising guy. So that was the development director.

[Guest]

Cool.

[Andy Cook]

That's cool. It was alarming to me at first. It took me a minute to get it, sure. But I was in those jobs kind of differently. The admissions thing there's literally giving tours. You're walking around a place pointing out learning, watching people's reactions, what moves people, what do they care about? Do the things that I care about, about this place actually line up with what they care about? I remember for the first time kind of dealing with marketing, which is a huge part of running a non profit now, is understanding our voice and how to position that. And I remember one of the early, early sort of marketing analyst moments was understanding that people pursue independent schools, private schools, at least at that point, most often for safety. That actually. And there are lots of other reasons they care about it, but the number one driver across the country at that point was safety. Which begs the question, how do you communicate safety as the admissions director or if you're any sort of school leader. Interestingly to me, the way you communicate safety is cleanliness. The cleaner the place, the studies showed, the more people felt like it was a safe place, which of course may or may not be connected. Yeah, I remember just kind of soaking that in and just having. Having a. Not to. To diminish an incredible school, incredible mission, but for the first time in my life, to have a product.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Andy Cook]

And say, you know what, what's my product? How do I learn to convey this? Well, and.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Andy Cook]

And draw people into it that may be passionate about things that are differently than me. Just my spin on it wasn't enough.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Andy Cook]

Figure out what their spin was.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Andy Cook]

To get them.

[Host]

Do you think that's relevant today?

[Andy Cook]

Safety.

[Host]

It's got to be one or two.

[Andy Cook]

If it's still there. I just. I haven't looked it up, so I would think so. I don't know.

[Host]

You know, it's interesting because just yesterday I had a meeting with a client for my marketing company for Killer Shark Marketing. And one of the things we're looking to do with them. So there are a couple former Delta Delta, Delta Rangers. One's a CIA guy. Like cool, cool government stuff.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Host]

And they got together and they started this neat business where they're. They're doing tours for fifth and eighth graders.

[Guest]

Okay.

[Host]

So their whole business is fifth and eighth grade tours to places like dc, New York, Georgia, like the Savannah area. And it's fascinating because we're. We're in the process now reworking all their language. And to hear you say that about safety. What we're going to convey, see, their brand is off. We're going to take that brand, change it to safety first. So I'm blown away like that. You're saying this because what the new messaging is going to look like. It's not done yet. We're just getting started. But we have kept our great country safe. Our leadership here has kept this great country safe. For children are safe with us when they come to New York for this trip.

[Guest]

Yeah. Right.

[Host]

Because it's the same guys. There are a handful of them. They're all former really cool government, kind of, you know, neat stuff. Different clearances and stuff like that. So the focus is safety. And you just said it. How important it is in schools. So we love hearing it.

[Andy Cook]

We assume certain things.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Andy Cook]

Are automatics amongst our listeners, and they're not. They have to be reinforced and even stated directly to make people feel comfortable. Because ultimately, I think my wife and I talk about this a lot and she sees this in counseling and she'll kind of talk categorically about types of situations she sees in counseling. And ultimately, people have two things going. They've got to survive and they got to connect. Those are. Those are the fundamentals. Survival of connection. And when it comes to what I'm drawn to in presentations about a nonprofit or arguably, if you're presenting even about trips to Savannah, you're going to talk about the connection, the fun, the fellowship, the learning and sort of the transfer of knowledge. But you can't assume people know survival is occurring. You actually have to speak into the basics so that then they can move from survival into really the heart of connection. I think a lot about that. That's cool.

[Host]

And as in you're a parent as well. He's got kids that have gone on trips.

[Andy Cook]

Yeah.

[Host]

About to go on trips.

[Andy Cook]

Who just barely survived. And so there was a survival mode for the better part of 10 years for our family where it hindered connection because there was such a need.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Andy Cook]

To. To make it a day to day from an energy perspective. The types of needs our kids had. When our kids joined our home academically, I mentioned there was. We had five and then five joined. Of those five, the two boys in the middle of that group who were doing great. Now, at that time, they were at kindergarten and first grade math and reading levels, but they were in seventh or sixth and seventh grades. And so the, the idea of how do we get these kids up to speed academically was the most overwhelming thing because we recognize that we have the short window.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Andy Cook]

And the farther you fall behind is the older you get, the more students start to believe they're incapable. And that's when bad things really start to happen because they can't actually be in a school setting and develop not only skills, but the confidence.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Andy Cook]

To stay in.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Andy Cook]

Yeah. There's a lot of survival.

[Host]

A couple weeks ago, I had a guy. I had a guy on who's a lawyer. You probably heard of the Fyre Festival.

[Guest]

The.

[Host]

The biggest festival that never happened. He's the lawyer that was in the documentary, the Netflix documentary. And it's real interesting what he said about what you just talked about struggling in school. So he was dyslexic. So the title of his episode is Dyslexia is my superpower. And he feared going to school in that he was going to get called on to read because he was non. He wasn't diagnosed yet. Yeah, he wasn't diagnosed. So they, they just said, oh, he's just got some kind of. He just doesn't like reading. And it kept getting pounded into him, but he knew he was incapable of doing it. And it transfers all the way over to being this big successful lawyer. He's almost. He's 59 at the time. And they wheeled a whiteboard into the room. There were 15 prominent lawyers at a.

[Guest]

At a. At a.

[Host]

Along whatever boardroom. And somebody wheeled a whiteboarding because they had to figure out a problem. And he said his palm started sweating when the whiteboard came in. He's 59 and accomplished. So it's like. It's interesting to hear you say that. Like, it is.

[Guest]

It's.

[Host]

But there's hope in that. That's more a story of hope. Like, you. You find it, you recognize it, you die. Or you diagnose it, you work with it. And then, as he said, Stacy Miller's name is. Then you go, you leave.

[Guest]

You.

[Host]

You live your life learning to live around it. And that's fine. That he can't do math or whatever the subject is. You get somebody to help with that or you get somebody to hire somebody to do that.

[Guest]

Yeah. Right.

[Host]

So there's like, great open input.

[Andy Cook]

The first phase of that, the finding it, the diagnosing it, and that was where. Where it's. The younger you are, probably the harder it is on you. And so with. With some of those who joined. Some of our kids who joined our family.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Andy Cook]

Later in those years, coming to terms with the gaps that had occurred in their lives due to just the setting they were raised. Yeah, it was super, super hard at. Easier, sort of. I'm thinking of one. One son who is really. He is such a great, motivated leader now.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Andy Cook]

And he's super intentional, and he's super focused on actually working out. And he's got a job that he's very loyal to and doing a great job. When I met him at age 12, the first thing I was told, even about him, come to think, before I shook his hand, was that he is the kind of kid who, if you leave him in the kitchen and he's eating a bowl of cereal and you come back and you see there's milk all over the floor. And you look them in the eye and say, hey, will you clean up that milk? And say, I didn't do it. You know. You know that he's the only person who's been in that room and he was eating cereal with milk. But that. That's going to be his reaction.

[Guest]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Andy Cook]

And what we found to be the case was not just with him, but with. With all the kids who joined our family after going through some really hard stuff. There was this window where they couldn't see, identify, much less be helped in diagnosing where they had needs because there was such a defensive barrier to. To lie and to cover because they Were so afraid of being found out. Oh, and lying was the default. Not actually. Because it even made sense. It wasn't plotted. It wasn't. This lie will allow for me to get. It wasn't. It wasn't like that. And we could take it as people who had raised our children in a setting up to that point in a small church school where everything was super disciplined. We could take it as a heart issue. But it really wasn't so much a heart issue as just fear of what if this guy in the whiteboard that you. What if I'm found out?

[Guest]

Right.

[Andy Cook]

And so trying to create an environment where our kids felt loved enough. 10 kids total. Where they feel loved enough that they can attach enough to us. So there's a sense of safety.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Andy Cook]

We move from surviving to the sense of potentially thriving.

[Guest]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andy Cook]

That was a lot. It was a whole lot. And it took. It took longer than we would want.

[Host]

How did you learn that concept of, like, surviving to thriving and going over that? I'll call it like an invisible line. Did you have help with that? Is that. Did you read that?

[Andy Cook]

Where'd that come from? It's really cool. Survive. I think we've. I think we've read it. So I mentioned my wife with her counseling background.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Andy Cook]

I think that was something that she brought to the table. And it really explained a lot of what we had seen more retroactively.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Andy Cook]

You know, we.

[Guest]

We're.

[Andy Cook]

We're fans of counseling, period. We really believe that depending on your age, you know, talking things through.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Andy Cook]

Can be really remarkable, especially with a third party. Not even clinical counseling, per se. Although that's fascinating and wonderful.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Andy Cook]

Helpful. And we've done some of that. Even just the baseline of having that third party to help you walk through it is a big deal. And one of the things we've talked a lot about in marriage counseling is that a lot of the things that we bump into with each other actually come back to the same idea. Here we are in our 40s. We've been married for 24 years. But when one of us feels threatened. Which is a kind of weird thing for me to say.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Andy Cook]

As a guy. Right, Right. Like, I think there's a. Maybe there's a man card. But actually think women are playing it the same way.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Andy Cook]

Where we. We actually need to have a sense of felt safety, to be open, vulnerable in some ways even to be fun. To be free and sharing and. Sure. Who we are.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Andy Cook]

So we. I've seen this play out in lots and lots of Relationships, even in a corporate space, if people don't feel at a simple level just safe.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Andy Cook]

Be physically threatened, but more a sense of like there's, there's emotional respect, there's emotional health and the dynamic of relating back. For if they don't have that sense of felt safety, not only are they going to stink, they're not going to perform well, but we're never going to find out the truth of what's going on if there is a problem in their role because they're going to feel instantly threatened in some way and then they're going to close up, build a wall. So I guess I've seen that play out in lots of areas.

[Guest]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andy Cook]

And it's not something that I would have. It's not a word I would have used about myself that I needed to feel safe. It was always assumed in me, but I wasn't conscious enough of what.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Andy Cook]

There.

[Guest]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andy Cook]

To be able to put a word on until somebody.

[Host]

Counselor brought it in and said that's fascinating. I like the concept that when you were eight or nine, however you acted or reacted, you're doing the same thing today. You just substituted different people at different phases throughout your life. So I just went through this with. I can't with accounts or with my one on one. And he, he walked me through this and we're actually reading a great book on it, but talks about like he had me unpack it. It was very difficult. Imagine you as an 8 or 9 year old, what did you do when your toys were taken? When somebody took your toy, what'd you do when this. And we all have such different reactions to that. If you were a single child, an only child depend. Like I had an older brother and we had different friends. We didn't have a lot of overlapping friends. So I was solo more times than not. Like there's so much that goes into it. But we unpacked the whole thing and it's exactly right. What did I do? I threw my little fits and I pounded my fist on the ground until I got it. And I learned something that ended up working. It's not a positive, but it worked. And it's pound your fist as hard as you can and as long as you can until somebody gives in. And once they give in, then it's over. And you create that negative. It's a negative, it's not a good thing. And you learn, oh wait, if I just pound my fists, sometimes literally, sometimes figuratively, if I just throw that tantrum and the response is yes, they Give in.

[Andy Cook]

I just gotta throw it.

[Guest]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Host]

And it's unbelievable. Now, 38 years later, literally 38 years later, I have that same exact reaction. It's crazy. But there's good news, right? It's neat just knowing it and now, like, again, how to live around it and live with it and.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Host]

You know, character defects, sometimes we can.

[Andy Cook]

I'm saying it's also practical. Wild. You found something that worked and you stuck with it. We listened to a lot of podcasts, and with my wife and her work and counseling, I find myself listening to what she's listening to. And, yeah, she's done extensive learning in and around addiction. And one of the things that really caught my attention was a moment where a counselor was conveying to an addiction her great understanding of his addictive behavior based upon his life. That she understood why he was running to that substance. And it made entire, entirely all the sense in the world.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Andy Cook]

Because that was something to actually fix the pain this person was feeling in their lives. And who doesn't seek out a fix? Was it the right fix? No, it was a horrific fix. And.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Andy Cook]

And almost killed this guy.

[Guest]

Right.

[Andy Cook]

But there was this sense of acknowledgment that really, what. What we're doing is we're finding ways to fix the problems we have.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Andy Cook]

And they can be super healthy or they can be so detrimental that we may not survive them.

[Guest]

Right.

[Host]

Hole in the soul.

[Andy Cook]

Yeah.

[Host]

Hole in the soul. And we hug. Like hugging a cactus. To the world, we're hugging a cactus, but to us, it's like, this is the greatest thing. This has given me the fulfillment. I thought it was. Alcohol, drugs, whatever.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Host]

So good. Feels so good. It's the right thing. The world's going, why would you possibly hug a cactus? Don't you see this is ruining your life?

[Guest]

Right.

[Host]

Yeah, that's.

[Andy Cook]

That's.

[Host]

That's neat. Okay. All right, let's. So let's continue on. So we've got.

[Guest]

You.

[Host]

You come out of school, you take a job at Wesleyan.

[Guest]

You go.

[Host]

You're in marketing, but you're in fundraising. You mentioned fundraising. Okay, what is that like at a school like Wesleyan?

[Andy Cook]

What is. What did you do?

[Host]

What's a day in the life? Calling donors. Are you, like, cold call?

[Andy Cook]

So, you know, schools are interesting because they typically, private schools, rather, are funded through tuition. Plus there's giving. The giving can come through endowment, or it can come through annual funds or various types. So your. Your basic math in the school business is what percentage is. Was which. These schools with massive Endowments. I mean maybe 30% of the cost of education.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Andy Cook]

Is actually coming via endowment or some type of giving. And so you can keep your tuition costs lower. That's not what most of them do. Most of them keep pricing of their tuition and doing things that are extra. Extraordinary. Raising the cost of education.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Andy Cook]

So you know, the goal was to. To go out and raise an additional million dollars or so per year and you split the list and you're going to people who are stakeholders in the school environment. All very obvious, but in my mind now I recognize how distinct it is to be in a setting where the child of the donor is indirectly a beneficiary or you could say directly a beneficiary. That have a legal meaning with the irs. But their child will benefit from the new gym along with thousands of other kids if they give to that building campaign.

[Guest]

Yep. Yep.

[Andy Cook]

And then leaving that later into fundraise in a setting where the beneficiary is a child who's not part of your family.

[Guest]

Right.

[Andy Cook]

There's no inherent kickback gift. That's a very different. I. I have to convey a picture of a child you don't know probably more often than not versus the child who's in your household. I will benefit from our services. So I.

[Host]

Big difference.

[Andy Cook]

Fundraising in a school setting is. It's difficult because it is tedious and you're. You're also dealing with people who are giving towards something that is going to impact their child and see their sense of how is the state of affairs in the school. That that's a conversation you got to be open to having with them. But you. It's a lot easier to get their attention in many respects.

[Host]

It's so easy.

[Andy Cook]

They. They're there.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Andy Cook]

So that I liked it. Fundraising is. I think there are two different types of fundraisers. There are those who are sort of guns for hire who can really come in and you tell them the mission and they're just good people.

[Host]

They can sell it, they can do it.

[Andy Cook]

And then there's people who are sort of specific to the mission of that thing. They're an organizational leader.

[Guest]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Andy Cook]

They're all about that thing and they know fundraising is a piece of that. And one's not better than the other, actually. But for me, I. I had always been in a position where I had such a belief by my experience in the place first with the school and then. Yeah, promise 686 that fundraising was just sucking you do on the side because you're wanting to build awareness of the Quality of what you're delivering anyway.

[Guest]

Yeah, yeah, Interesting.

[Host]

Makes a lot of sense. All right. I want to try to. I want to try to focus into the day. And if, you know, the minute or the hour, that's good too. But if you. But if you. We got to look at it as like, maybe it was just over a month. I want to find the moment where you went from, I'm going to be a worker, which is a great thing. Nothing wrong with that. I'm going to be a worker to. I'm gonna. I'm now over the line and doing my own gig. What happened there? Like, that's so much risk. There's so much risk in that. What did it look like? Did you read a book? Did somebody tell you, andy, you got to go and open a non profit?

[Andy Cook]

Like, what did.

[Host]

How do you. How do you get there? You're not born, you know, founding and director of. Of this great non profit. So what did it. What did the decision look like?

[Andy Cook]

For me, the moment that comes to mind is the moment I identified what my fear was of pursuing the nonprofit.

[Host]

Ah, so in my case, identified the fear.

[Guest]

Okay.

[Andy Cook]

In my case, that moment amounted to context. I'd been at Wesleyan for 10 years, really loved it, wanted to be ahead of school, had considered leaving to go find. Find that opportunity. Had actually applied for some jobs and some doors. One had actually opened. And I was meeting with the board chair of Promise 686. Now, Promise existed before I got there. While I was on the founding board. I helped start it in 2008, 2009. Up until 2013, I was simply a board member. And I had watched us do really one thing well. We had, as an organization, given grants to families so that they could adopt. And the basics of that have never changed. At Promise, we've certified barriers that keep kids out of families, and we just attack them. And now as we've grown and shifted, we attack actually through tech. We're using more technology to help mobilize people than we are. Just strict grant dollars, but we still do that as well.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Andy Cook]

Anyway, so Promise was doing one thing, one simple thing, and I went to the board chair and asked him to be a reference for a head of school position for me because, you know, I had my employer be a reference and all those typical. The character reference, someone who had seen me in a volunteer capacity.

[Host]

Okay.

[Andy Cook]

So since I'd been on the board with Tim, who's still the chair of our Prom686 board, I said, tim, you know, would you. Would you do this, he said, sure. You know, and he called, they spoke with whoever, and he said nice things and he, and he called me back and he said, you know, I said all the right things, but I just want to tell you, I really do think you should look at running Promise. And I knew that was a possibility. And Promise wasn't something in my mind that was worthy of being run. It was, it was too simple. The, the vision at that time was to be a grant making organization to families in and around really metro, metro Atlanta.

[Host]

So, okay, hyper local.

[Andy Cook]

Hyper local.

[Host]

Couple people were involved.

[Andy Cook]

We had one staff member. Oh, actually that's not true. We had two staff members.

[Host]

Okay, I got it.

[Andy Cook]

So we, we had, We. We weren't anything like who we are now. And I sat down with a mentor. I mentioned one, one Mark, before another one, Jeff, who's been a mentor now of mine for 20 years. And, and for 15 years of that, we probably met every week or two.

[Guest]

Wow.

[Andy Cook]

Just go deep. Especially anything career wise. He was somebody I'd run things by. He processed them with me. And so he's been, he's been a faithful nurturer of my soul. And so I, I sat down with Jeff and I said, jeff, so this is the moment you're asking for. I said, jeff, I've got five job opportunities. I can stay where I am. You know, maybe I get to be an assistant head in this great school. Maybe something opens up that could be super cool. Sure, that'd be fine. Second, I can go to this school over here, be an assistant head. And that, that door looks like it may open up to be ahead of school, but in a different environment. That could be really good. Third, I can be ahead of school in this small school, and I'm pretty young, so to be ahead of school probably would have been a big chomp in a lot of people's eyes at that moment. And then I said, and fourth, there's this opportunity to run Promise 686. And I explained that to him. And I closed by saying, you know, the first three opportunities I think could all be pretty good. Yeah, but, you know, I'm just, there's no way I'm going to run Promise. And he's like, let me, let me stop you there. Let me just tell you what I heard. You kind of were dull and to the point. One, two, three options. And then with number four as Promise, you lit up and you told me a totally different narrative of what the future could be and the vision you had for where it could go. But then you Wrapped it up by saying, there's no way. I. I think there's something to the passion in your voice. What's that all about?

[Guest]

Wow.

[Andy Cook]

And. And I knew instantly what it was all about. I knew what the fear was and I tried to dodge it. Kind of skip eye contact as long as I could.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Andy Cook]

Kind of thing. And wow. And I said, money said, you know, I've been in a school setting where the bulk of the money comes through tuition. There's a way to understand cash flow. There's a way to grow toward the future. Yeah, I understand that business. We're talking about a non profit that hardly has a staff, that has really no budget whatsoever. Yeah, the whole thing was working off of about a hundred thousand dollars a year. That scares me to death. He asked a simple question. He said, andy, do you think God owns the cattle on a thousand hills? And I knew the verse and I was kind of mad at him in the moment for asking supremacy. Does God have all the wealth? Does he have all the resources? Was the message there. And that was a frustrating question, but it was what I needed to hear because there was a choice. In response to the fear. I could either choose faith and say, if this is something God wants me to do, I will say yes wholeheartedly, not knowing how it's going to come together. Or will fear be the thing that kind of thwarts me from even walking down this road to clarify whether it's the adventure for me? And I had to own that. I sat on it for a couple days and I called the school that made me an offer, a great school said, hey, I. I'm going to do this other thing. And the guy was really nice about it. And then a couple weeks later, I, I told the school where I was. And I remember I sat down at a leadership team meeting and the head of school said, andy, why don't you explain everybody what you're going to do? And I couldn't for the life of me explain what I was going to do because I didn't know what I was going to do. It had not been defined. We had not, we had not crafted the language to explain what was on the heart of the board and what was on my heart.

[Guest]

Sure.

[Andy Cook]

And so I just felt stupid. I remember feeling really dumb. And that was a whole nother realm of fear. I was like, man, am I gonna. Am I really doing this? This is dumb. So I, you know, I left that diet. I got a contract to end in the summers with the school and I finished that job. You know, June 30th and, you know, promised. I don't know, we might have had 30 grand in the bank and now three employees and just was. And we all prayed and we, we knocked on doors and we told people.

[Host]

What we were about.

[Andy Cook]

And people have been generous and important with us. And I've been there 11 years now.

[Host]

11 years.

[Andy Cook]

Those two or three employees are now 40 employees, and metro Atlanta is now 41 states.

[Guest]

Oh, my.

[Andy Cook]

About 10 churches that we were serving to get them really plugged into foster care is now 2,100 churches. And what was simple as giving grants and money is a software platform that has about 60,000 users on it around the country who are really making a difference in the lives of kids who come into foster care. The, the. The blessing, somewhat naive, a bit faithful. Yes. Has been to go on a really crazy journey. And it's been hard. It's been really hard at times. It takes that, that faith choice in that moment with my mentor is still a choice. Right. You know it from your life. Anybody listening? Every day there's a moment where you get to choose, is it faith or fear? What am I going with? And I've chosen fear many times. Yeah, absolutely, man. To the degree that I've chosen, faith has been. It's been remarkably rewarding.

[Guest]

That's.

[Host]

What a story. Oh, my gosh. So faith and fear. Okay. Couple more questions.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Host]

What would you say to the young Andy, 15 to 18 years old, somewhere in there, if you can go back, what advice would you give?

[Andy Cook]

Be bolder, confident.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Andy Cook]

You know, trophy goes the one who believes the most. Like, get out there, stay confident, take bigger swings.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Andy Cook]

Don't fear failure so much.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Andy Cook]

You don't, you don't have to have it all locked up and understood, which I know my story probably sounds like. I, There are lots of moments where I didn't have it understood.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Andy Cook]

But I, I, you know, the amount of fretting over not knowing, just get out there and speak up. You know, that's my thing with my kids. Sons and daughters. Seven boys.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Andy Cook]

Three girls. Is. You know what? Just. Just speak up. You know, the. Probably the best thing I learned in football and all those years of playing, it was the idea of the full speed mistake. You know, and the coach would say, hey, you know, when you come to the sideline, if you went full speed, I'm not going to yell at you. It's. It's the, it's the being paralyzed, indecisive. That's the thing that you're. You're going to hear from me.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Andy Cook]

But if you go full speed hey that's, that's all I can.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Host]

So you, when you talk faith and fear and you can, you can choose either was your fear money but really it was safety and security. Was it the thing that money gave go like. Because that's typically what it is for me is like oh my gosh, we can lose the business or lose this. And what you're really saying. What I'm really saying is oh then the revenue stream. We wouldn't have revenue. Then we wouldn't but when I unpack that then we wouldn't have profit. Then we wouldn't have a salary. So how am I going to make a living? How am I going to pay for a house? How am I going to pay for my kids school? And at the end of the day the elevator approach is I keep going down. Why, why, why, why why? It's really what I'm think I'm going to miss out on is SEC security. But it's like then, then like one of my mentors will just hit me and go like just remember like remember your past. Like you have a history of getting an idea turn right. You have been successful, you've had ups and downs but you've the before like the 10 year has done nothing but grow.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Host]

In revenue and success. In dollars. In all those things that are just something of the earth but that are filling that security void that you're really afraid of. Because I'll say like I'm have to pull my kids out of perimeter or I'm going to have to stop doing that.

[Andy Cook]

Yeah.

[Host]

That's really what I'm saying is like I'm just afraid I'm not going to be safe and secure. But the truth is I don't get it from that anyway.

[Guest]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Host]

But it's a pitfall.

[Andy Cook]

That's good. So I would say to you expressing that about safety and security. Yes I would agree and I would say security inside as I kind of zoom in. I'm getting close to it.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Andy Cook]

Failure, fear of failure. The ramifications of going out on your own in something.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Andy Cook]

That's very uncharted as it was with, with promise 686 at the time. You know to, to go from it a secure environment where I had had success and I didn't have a lot of financial success. I was in education.

[Guest]

So yeah.

[Andy Cook]

That wasn't a big piece of it.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Andy Cook]

But to go out and to, to put that to a test. I think I, I think The. The nightmare. Falling through the black tunnel and striking out, you know, like, striking out was fundamentally embarrassing. And to put yourself in an environment where you can sure help. That's. Sure. And when your strikeout becomes public, that's hard. Other employees who would be expecting your. Your role and bringing in revenue to be something that would help their families, that's big. So I think. I think the, you know, the clearest terms there would be a fear of failure.

[Guest]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Andy Cook]

And all that came with that.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Host]

That's very helpful. Very helpful. Because you were in a. You were in a framework at Wesleyan. You knew your check was coming.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Host]

You knew the school wasn't closing next week. It's been there forever. Right. Like, there was so much safety in. In and around that. Okay. Very, very cool. All right, let me end on. Let's end with. With. What does the future look like for you, for Andy? And that's all things Andy. That's your role as a husband. That's your role as a father. That's your role with promise. Like, you're how old?

[Andy Cook]

47.

[Host]

47. Me, too. So what is. Whatever you see it as? Do you see the next five years, 10 years? Like, what are. Where are you heading?

[Andy Cook]

Yeah, I think it's pretty clear to me. It is so obvious, though, I'm not sure it's going to be worth listening to. So I'm just saying to invest more in people than I do in productivity, to see my investment in people as the greatest form of productivity that I could actually have. So from a work environment, Promise 686 has been a labor of love where I've been intricately plugged into everything. And yet we now have a team of leaders who are so capable, not just arguably more capable, but evidenced in them exhibiting greater capability than me. And so my role in really being a leader of leaders is now required. I'm actually in the way if I'm not that. And that's a shift for me. Interesting. And I'm. My dad is a big do it yourselfer, and.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Andy Cook]

You know that. So I. You know what I take on home additions and remodeling projects, those sort of things. That's super fun, but that's not actually where I am professionally. I need to not go to Home Depot. I need to invest in securing the vision in my heart in such a way that I can convey it well enough to the team that I'm with so they can go and live it and support them as they hit the blocks along the way. So that's that's the professional front. To me. My, my personal life is similar in that I've got these budding young adult kids who, you know, I've got five of my boys, for instance, are between 19 and 21. Like five kids crammed right there and they're all trying to figure out what does this look like.

[Guest]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andy Cook]

What's next? You know, up to this moment, it's been next year is next year. You just go to the next grade. Now there's choice investing in them as well as my, my, my daughters are kind of on the either side of that. That's seems clearer to me.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Andy Cook]

Than it ever has before. And then with the two 11 year olds just enjoying them. People. People may tell you this if you ask somebod that. Kids with like a big spacing from 26 down to 11.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Andy Cook]

The, the beauty of it is that you know so many things that you don't want to miss out on. Like those 11 year olds, whereas you just survived with the oldest, with these, these younger ones. There's an opportunity there to, to be connected in a way that frankly, I just didn't have the maturity or wherewithal to take on earlier. So, yeah, those little guys and just people, people, people. That's.

[Host]

What are they into?

[Andy Cook]

What are they into? Sports. Sports.

[Host]

What aren't they into?

[Guest]

Right.

[Host]

Just like you.

[Guest]

Right.

[Host]

Every sport.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Host]

It's in perms, probably social media and all the other stuff too.

[Andy Cook]

All the normal stuff that's coming at me for sure.

[Host]

That's incredible, man. All right, well, leave me, Leave me with something. Leave me with it. Some kind of hope. Hope for the. Hope for the future. Give me a. Give me a nugget. Give me an Andy nugget. What do you find your saying to encourage people a lot. Whether it's a sentence, a phrase, favorite quote, favorite.

[Guest]

Anything.

[Host]

Like what's Andy. What's got Andy written all over it?

[Andy Cook]

Well, I. So I, I work in this space where everybody around me is into one or, or the other thing.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Andy Cook]

I'm kind of into both. But they're people who are on my team who are all about securing families for kids. Like their thing is a kid in their mind.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Andy Cook]

Who's lonely and isolated, who is in desperate need of family. And that moves them every day. Promise. 6:8,6 is Psalm 68,6. That's the basis for the organization. So God sets the lonely in families. That's our verse. So they're about lonely kids needing families. Then there's another group that I work with who are fired up. The greatest asset to care for kids, if you looked institutionally around the United States, is churches. And, man, if you're someone who's a person of Christian faith and you're looking at, you go, I desperately want to see the church step up and do their thing, because, man, if they can get in the game, we'll have more than enough resources for the kids who are going to continue to come into care because family breakdown will continue.

[Guest]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andy Cook]

And so what fires me up is that I see it happening. I see churches around the country saying, this isn't a foreign, international thing that we're doing. This is a here and now, right here, ready our people to do the really hard work of stepping into the mess of child welfare. And I get to see that from my vantage point and even try to resource that. Everything that we do, I guess the great hope is that people are responding to the harder tasks.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Andy Cook]

Of faith. You know, it's one thing to. To give and, you know, I love it. People give. We don't survive. Right, right. Another to sort of transactionally give toward, like, a specific need. But if you can do those things and walk with people in pain, oh, man, that's. That's transformative. And I'm seeing folks in churches around the country step up, man up, and actually do that sort of transformative relational work.

[Guest]

Yeah, that is.

[Andy Cook]

That's good for the soul. I mean, that just feels good.

[Host]

Oh, man, that's encouraging. You got me thinking now. So you're out there living. Would you say you're living your purpose?

[Andy Cook]

Yeah.

[Host]

You're just on fire. I can hear it and feel.

[Andy Cook]

I can feel it is. Well, you know, it is awesome. It's really a dream come true. A dream that I couldn't have formulated.

[Guest]

Yeah, right, right.

[Andy Cook]

But it's. It's a lot of fun, for sure. And it's. And it's hard. It's grueling, and the opportunities.

[Guest]

Yeah, yeah.

[Host]

Thanks for your time, man.

[Andy Cook]

Appreciate it. It's awesome.