🎙️ Interesting Humans Podcast - Episode 41: For Parents: Big 6 Theory, COVID Developmental Effects on Kids

Hosted by Jeff Hopeck

Guest:
Hannah Rinehart, LPC
Licensed Professional Counselor specializing in children, adolescents, families, and women.

Release Date:
March 1, 2025

1. Introduction

Jeff Hopeck welcomes Hannah Rinehart, a Licensed Professional Counselor, to discuss the profound impacts of the COVID-19 pandemic on child development and introduces the Big 6 Theory—a framework essential for fostering secure attachments in children.

2. The Impact of COVID-19 on Child Development

Hannah opens the conversation by challenging the CDC's statistics on mental health during COVID-19:

Hannah [00:50]: "The CDC would say that there's like an increase in 25% with anxiety, depression worldwide. But I would say what I saw in my office was 100%."

She emphasizes that COVID-19 significantly disrupted children's developmental needs by limiting social interactions and breaking established routines. This isolation particularly hindered the development of emotional regulation and social skills.

Hannah [03:32]: "Preschools closed and those stayed closed way longer than traditional schools did. Caregivers were wearing masks so children didn't learn like even responsiveness or emotions."

Despite these challenges, Hannah is optimistic about recovery:

Hannah [03:33]: "Can they ever catch up? Yeah, for sure."

3. Introducing the Big 6 Theory

Jeff and Hannah delve into the Big 6 Theory, developed by Adam Young, which outlines six crucial components for optimal brain development and secure attachment in children.

a. Attunement

Attunement involves parents tuning into their child's emotions without being distracted by their own.

Hannah [08:22]: "The first thing is attunement, and that's literally like tuning in. Like, a parent is able to tune in and accurately assess what their child is feeling."

b. Responsiveness

Responsiveness refers to how parents react to their child's emotions, offering care and comfort rather than dismissing their feelings.

Hannah [09:33]: "Are you offering care, concern, comfort?"

She warns against minimization, which can lead children to internalize feelings of insignificance.

Hannah [10:59]: "I think it does the same thing to our kids. So that's where they're learning—are my needs important or are they not?"

c. Engagement

Engagement is the genuine desire to understand and connect with the child's inner world.

Hannah [12:03]: "Are you able to have a genuine desire to understand your child's heart and pursue them?"

Balancing engagement involves avoiding over-involvement or complete detachment.

d. Co-Regulation During Distress

Teaching children to manage their emotions by staying calm themselves during moments of their child's distress.

Hannah [16:29]: "So, what we want to do is help them kind of bring that down."

e. Handling Big Emotions

Parents should help children handle significant emotions without shutting them down, fostering resilience.

Hannah [18:20]: "Are you able to handle them being sad, angry, experiencing negative emotions without shutting them down?"

f. Willingness to Repair

When conflicts arise, parents should be willing to repair the relationship, teaching children accountability and forgiveness.

Hannah [21:27]: "Are you willing to ask for an apology? Are you willing to do something that repairs and creates that secure attachment?"

4. Technology and Screen Time

Hannah discusses the challenges of screen time and the importance of establishing healthy technology habits.

a. Screen Time Recommendations by Age

• 0-2 Years: No screens.
• 2-5 Years: Limit to one hour per day.
• 6-12 Years: Approximately one hour, though online schooling increases exposure.

Hannah [26:33]: "0 to 2. No screens."

b. Impact of Technology

Excessive screen time can lead to emotional numbing and difficulty regulating emotions, contributing to increased instances of meltdowns and anxiety.

Hannah [27:39]: "The bigger harm is the personal devices, the tablets, switches, smaller handheld."

c. Blue Light and Sleep Disturbances

Exposure to blue light before bedtime can disrupt sleep patterns by inhibiting melatonin production.

Hannah [30:20]: "Having computer phone time too close to bedtime will keep you from going into a deeper sleep."

d. Family Habits and Screen Time Regulation

Establishing family-based screen time routines promotes community and connection rather than isolation.

Hannah [32:13]: "Are you gathering together to watch a show or does each kid have a TV in their room?"

5. Bullying and Its Signs

Hannah addresses the prevalence of bullying, particularly online cyberbullying, and its subtle signs.

a. Statistics and Prevalence

• 20% of students aged 12-18 report being bullied at school.
• Another 20% report online bullying.

Hannah [50:52]: "The national center for education says about 20% of students ages 12 through 18 report being bullied at school."

b. Signs of Being Bullied

Behavioral changes such as isolation, withdrawal, and depression can indicate bullying.

Hannah [54:37]: "For sure, isolating, withdrawing, maybe depression shows up."

c. Navigating Social Media Pressures

Social media fosters feelings of exclusion and left outness, which may affect a broader range of children beyond those explicitly bullied.

Hannah [51:49]: "But I would say every kid I talk to has that feeling of being left out."

d. Parental Strategies

• Active Listening: Encouraging children to share their experiences without judgment.

  Hannah [53:24]: "I want to help you with this. I want to listen and don't beat it down."

• Monitoring Online Activity: Ensuring children are safe online by restricting access and monitoring usage.

  Hannah [55:24]: "Don't let them have their phones in their room at night."

6. Parenting Strategies and Risk Management

Jeff inquires about practical parenting approaches to instill autonomy and safe decision-making in children.

a. Teaching Through Exposure

Encouraging children to face their fears in a controlled environment fosters resilience.

Hannah [46:50]: "I signed her back up, made her keep doing it. Because I can either avoid the anxiety and it grows bigger or you can lean into the anxiety and it grows smaller."

b. Risk Management and Autonomy

Balancing safety with allowing children to take appropriate risks is crucial in their development.

Hannah [55:44]: "Teaching your kids risk and things, but maybe not the same as when we were Kids."

c. Gun Safety Awareness

Jeff raises a critical point on gun safety, emphasizing the importance of parents discussing and securing firearms to prevent accidents.

Jeff [65:58]: "We have to know where you're sending your kids and what their family culture is."

Hannah [66:22]: "There's a kid yesterday that found a gun in his dad's car. Died. It was on the news yesterday."

7. Conclusion

Jeff and Hannah wrap up the episode by reiterating the importance of intentional parenting, fostering secure attachments, and navigating modern challenges such as technology and bullying. They highlight the ongoing need for parents to adapt and engage actively in their children's lives to ensure healthy development.

Hannah [69:18]: "I think we covered a lot."

Jeff [69:21]: "Thank you for your time and for your willingness, vulnerability, openness to talk through these things."

Key Takeaways

• COVID-19 has had a deeper impact on children’s mental health than initially reported, necessitating targeted interventions.
• The Big 6 Theory provides a comprehensive framework for parents to build secure attachments and support their children’s emotional development.
• Technology management and establishing healthy screen time habits are essential in today’s digital age.
• Bullying, especially online, requires vigilant monitoring and proactive communication between parents and children.
• Risk management and autonomy are vital in teaching children to make safe and independent decisions.
• Gun safety remains a critical issue that parents must address to protect their children from potential accidents.

This episode offers invaluable insights for parents navigating the complexities of post-pandemic child development, emphasizing the need for structured emotional support and adaptive parenting strategies.