The Dark Side of Internet Fame w/ Marcus King | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

Summary

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Podcast Summary: The Dark Side of Internet Fame w/ Marcus King | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

Podcast: 2 Bears, 1 Cave (YMH Studios)
Episode: The Dark Side of Internet Fame w/ Marcus King
Date: December 1, 2025
Guests: Bert Kreischer, Tom Segura, Marcus King

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Episode Overview

In this reflective, funny, and at times raw episode, Bert Kreischer sits down with musician Marcus King to talk about everything from the creative process, sobriety, internet hate, and what it means to remain authentic in the age of viral stardom. Tom Segura joins in toward the end to add his perspective. The group veers into discussions of the pressures of fame, the damage and catharsis found in comments sections, and the art of standing out—whether in comedy or music.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Catching Up & Southern Rock (00:00–05:00)

• Bert and Marcus reminisce about their past meetups, notably at the Flora-Bama, discussing their shared experiences on tour and on stage.
• Bert’s daughters’ differing approaches to music and culture highlight generational changes.
• Discussion of what makes Southern rock special:
  • Marcus: “The best Southern rock bands are the ones that aren’t trying to be Southern rock. They’re just rock and roll bands that happen to be from the South. So it just adds a little extra gravy to it.” (01:46)
  • Talk about the blurred lines between country, bluegrass, and Southern rock and how genres can blend and cross over.

2. Creative Processes in Comedy and Music (05:00–09:00)

• Bert describes his loose approach to developing comedy and stories, likening it to “just hanging out and waiting for it to show up.”
• Marcus details his process of making music and how an engineer or producer helps artists be at their most vulnerable:
  • “For me, [the producer's job] is to come in and to almost artificially create an energy in which you can be your most vulnerable and honest self.” (08:19)

3. Music Legends and Inspirations (09:00–13:00)

• They discuss the legacy and tragedy of Otis Redding, touching on his impact and the story behind “Sittin’ on the Dock of the Bay.”
• Favorite Otis Redding songs: Marcus—“Cigarettes and Black Coffee”; Bert—“Try a Little Tenderness.”
• Marcus on the spontaneous, unfinished whistle in “Dock of the Bay”: “[Otis Redding] whistled the last, you know, little refrain... because he was gonna sing something else there. But he died before he had the chance to do so.” (09:57)

4. Friendship, Sobriety, and Real Talk (15:26–26:00)

• Bert recounts an unlikely friendship with a man named James Earl Jones (not that one) he met at a jazz festival—a story about human connection that cuts through fame or status (17:02–18:13).
• Sobriety and Self-Destruction:
  • Marcus shares openly about his periods of sobriety and relapse. He describes how alcohol impacts him: “Everything fun in life... I just can’t do moderation. I know. I don’t have a problem not starting. I just have a problem stopping.” (20:21)
  • Getting sober for love: “I did it because I love my wife... There's something in me that comes to life when I've had too much and it wants to destroy everything good in my life because I don't feel like I deserve it.” (20:23)
• Bert and Marcus discuss cycles of drinking, how hard it is to moderate, and the tricks (like medication) that affect their relationship to alcohol (21:52–24:08).

Notable Quote:
“Every time I put it down, it gets heavier.”
—Marcus King, referencing both addiction and song lyrics. (23:48)

5. Creating Music, Dual Lives, and Internet Pressures (24:08–34:00)

• The album “Darling Blue” is a product of both Marcus’s sobriety and past substance use. He reflects on how different tracks evoke different times in his life.
• The conversation moves to how both hosts and Marcus feel about internet comments and seeking approval:
  • Marcus: “My only goal was to get... approval, you know, that's why I got into stand up, is I could tell if they liked it... negativity, people that didn't like me, it made me so confused.” (32:21)
  • Both reveal the deep impact of even a single negative comment.

6. Therapy, Insecurity, and How the Internet Affects Artists' Lives (34:00–43:00)

• Both Bert and Marcus discuss feeling undeserving of love and using therapy to understand these feelings.
• The "invisible brutality" of internet comments—funny ones get a pass, but “super mean” ones cut deep:
  • Marcus: “It can create insecurities within your own home. Sometimes I give funny internet comments a hall pass, but if you’re just super mean, I mean, it really does get to me.” (34:13)
• Marcus mentions how the most vicious trolls are never “attractive people”:
  • “Maybe it’s the ghost accounts... but I’ve never seen an attractive person, you know, willingly... say something disparaging. It’s always, you know, just dog, ass, ugly people.” (38:38)

7. Vulnerability & Authenticity in an Internet Age (43:00–52:00)

• Discussion of Marcus’s songwriting and Bert’s response to his honesty and voice, comparing Marcus’s sound to the late Shannon Hoon of Blind Melon.
• Crowd Work & Stand-Up’s Changing Landscape:
  • Bert and Marcus dive into the shifting expectations in comedy due to viral “crowd work” clips—lamenting that what once was a skill for saving bad sets has become the main act for some.

8. Tom Segura Joins: Shared Feelings of Insecurity (56:45–58:28)

• Tom Segura joins the episode briefly. Bert expresses surprise to hear Tom admit insecurities:
  • Tom Segura: “Don’t forget that we all feel the same, dude. We all fucking feel the same. Everybody’s the same. We all wish we were liked more... We’re the same.” (58:01)

9. Fame, “Realness,” and Industry Hypocrisy (58:28–67:30)

• The group discusses how fame warps relationships and the pressures of authenticity:
  • Musicians and comedians who appear “untouchable” (e.g., Chris Stapleton) still face hate and insecurity.
  • Marcus on industry types versus artists: “The music industry types, they can get as fucked up as they want with, like, no repercussion, because nobody recognizes them. But artists are just playing outlaw, and they’re not doing the shit they sing about.” (64:19)
  • The legendary “bad behavior” of 70s/80s artists would never fly in today’s world of constant surveillance.

10. Ranking Southern Rock Bands (47:26–80:00)

• The conversation weaves between deep talk and playful lists:
  • They attempt to rank and define the “quintessential” Southern rock bands and songs (e.g., Lynyrd Skynyrd, Allman Brothers, Marshall Tucker Band, Black Crowes, Blackberry Smoke).
  • Stories about learning classic songs to impress girls, the mystique of musical authenticity, and “living life in the mirrors” as a metaphor for addiction and looking backward.

11. Legacy, Eulogies, and Artistic Impact (82:02–End)

• Bert performs a mock eulogy (“Please play this at my funeral...” 82:29) about his only goal being “to make you happy.”
• Marcus echoes the sentiment, stating: “All I really want to do is make you happy.” (84:05)
• Bert’s heartfelt assessment of Marcus’s music:
  • “You have lived your life out loud, opened up and shared all your scars and your pain and your joys and your questions and your loves and your fears through music with possibly the biggest gift we've gotten in the music world, which is you as an artist.” (85:34)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “I can’t do moderation. I don’t have a problem not starting. I just have a problem stopping.”
  – Marcus King (20:23)

• “Every time I put it down, it gets heavier.”
  – Marcus King, on addiction and his lyrics (23:48)

• “If you don’t know what kind of band we are, we don’t either.”
  – Marcus King (04:59)

• “We all fucking feel the same. Everybody’s the same. We all wish we were liked more.”
  – Tom Segura (58:01)

• “…their ego is really just a mask for their deep insecurity, and you can’t hide that from me anyway.”
  – Marcus King (61:42)

• “You have lived your life out loud, opened up and shared all your scars and your pain and your joys… with possibly the biggest gift we’ve gotten in the music world.”
  – Bert Kreischer to Marcus King (85:34)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:00–05:00: Reminiscing & Southern rock’s appeal
• 05:00–09:00: Creative processes in comedy and music
• 09:00–13:00: Musical idols (Otis Redding)
• 15:26–18:13: Unlikely friendships (James Earl Jones story)
• 18:21–24:08: Sobriety, addiction, and creative cycles
• 24:08–34:00: Album insights, internet hate, and approval chasing
• 34:00–43:00: Therapy, insecurity, and the impact of comments
• 43:00–52:00: Songwriting honesty & stand-up’s changing face
• 56:45–58:28: Tom Segura weighs in on insecurity
• 58:28–64:19: Fame and authenticity—realness vs. image
• 64:19–67:30: Myths of outlaw artists and the music industry
• 47:26–80:00: Southern rock deep dives & music nostalgia
• 82:02–End: Mortality, mock eulogies, and Marcus’s legacy

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Final Thoughts

The episode is a candid look at the double-edged sword of creative life—where the desire for approval, the specter of insecurity, and the poison/pleasure of substance abuse intertwine with moments of humor and insight. Marcus King’s openness about sobriety, artistry, and vulnerability stands out as one of the rawest and most genuine conversations 2 Bears, 1 Cave has hosted. The interplay between Bert, Marcus, and Tom makes for a moving and memorable listen.

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Transcript

[Bert Kreischer]

100%. Cheers. His new album, Darling Blue, is incredible. From the second you start it. This is your third album? Fourth, man.

[Marcus King]

It's like the seventh.

[Bert Kreischer]

Seventh. It's the third album I bought. Marcus King.

[Marcus King]

Good to see you, man.

[Bert Kreischer]

Good to see you, brother. Good is so good to see. Every time I see you, I smile. Every time I see you, I sometimes wonder if you go, oh, it's Bert.

[Marcus King]

Never. No.

[Bert Kreischer]

Remember the last time I saw you?

[Marcus King]

Was that at the Flora Bama?

[Bert Kreischer]

No, no, no. That was.

[Marcus King]

That was fun.

[Bert Kreischer]

That was so fun. And you had to explain to me how singing on stage worked. No, we ran it. Go ahead, Tell everyone how it works.

[Marcus King]

I mean, it's a lot like this, you know, it's just. You just gotta project a little bit more. And what did we do? We didn't love light. Yeah, it was a lot of fun.

[Bert Kreischer]

It was so fun. Florida Bama's on the. On the border of Florida and Alabama. It's called the Florida Bama. They're big known for our mullet toss every year.

[Marcus King]

Yep.

[Bert Kreischer]

And we had done fully loaded that night at the. Whatever the stadium was, the Wharf Amphitheater. And then the whole. Everyone went down. It was our last night on tour. I ended up naked in the ocean with the Navy seal.

[Marcus King]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

My daughters were there. My daughters were blown away. I mean, my daughters are like. One daughter really likes music. The other one. The other one, I think, likes the culture of music. Okay, that makes sense.

[Marcus King]

That does make sense.

[Bert Kreischer]

Neither of them like. Like, Southern rock, though. Okay. They're both into, like, Georgia is just discovering it.

[Marcus King]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

Why is Southern rock the best out of all the rocks?

[Marcus King]

I'm partial to it just because, you know, I think the best Southern rock bands are the ones that aren't trying to be Southern rock. They're just rock and roll bands that happen to be from the South. So it just kind of adds a little extra gravy to it. You know, it's not. It's not overly complicated. You know, it's really just rock and roll. There's nothing really too different about it other than just the region from which it comes from.

[Bert Kreischer]

Because. Because it's not country.

[Marcus King]

No, I mean, it's. It's a pretty close relative to country music.

[Bert Kreischer]

You know, it seems like kissing cousins.

[Marcus King]

Absolutely.

[Bert Kreischer]

Or kissing brother and sisters in the country. Because, like, Lainey Wilson slides on so seamlessly, and then someone like. Like Billy Strings, who is traditionally bluegrass.

[Marcus King]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

Fits on so well. But at the end, is it. Is it your voice or is it the chords?

[Marcus King]

Man, you Know, like, that bluegrass thing is just. It's really interesting how popular that's become because that was such a niche style of music for so long. And now we got, you know, bluegrass artists acting like they're the Rolling Stone. And it pisses me off because I'm like, you guys were. You guys were real nerds in high school, and now you're like these big rock stars. And it's frustrating, but, I mean, bluegrass is like rock and roll now. There's stadiums being sold with bluegrass, which is interesting to me. But, yeah, I guess rock and roll is more in your personality, I reckon.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah, it's more. It's like. I remember someone told me, no one's gonna. No one's gonna understand this. Someone told me. I had a hard time clicking with alt comics. Like, no. The alternative scene. The. More. I guess now you just say, now it's just conservative and liberal. I guess the two.

[Marcus King]

Well, the alt comics are like, no physical comedy. Right. They're, like, really against any kind of.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Marcus King]

Tropes.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah, they're very against any trope. And. And they. I want what they're doing to be different, to be against the grain, which, you know, I always enjoyed. And I. You know, and I always felt like Louis CK Was an alternative comic, and I felt like Mitch Hedberg was an alternative comic. Janine Garo is obviously an alternative comic, but it's. It's. I remember someone saying. I was like, why do they dislike me so much? And they. I mean, they really. It would be aggressive. If I went into a green room, no one would talk to me. People would say weird things to me, and I'd make me feel uncomfortable. And. And someone said, it's cause you're doing what they do, but better, because I am a storyteller, and in essence, they all wanted to be storytellers, and I wasn't doing traditional standup. I still don't do traditional standup. I don't know what I do, to be dead honest with you. I have no clue what I do on stage. And I wanted to say the same about you, because you can get in with any band and kill it, but when you do your own thing, it's really hard to put its finger on. It's. You really just start almost destroying all the genres and make your own thing.

[Marcus King]

Yeah. And I think you kind of, you know, rightfully so. You know, you did kind of create your own lane, and I think that's the people that history kind of remembers. And I said this, like, when we did Austin City Limits, A couple of weeks ago or a week ago, I said, you know, if you don't know what kind of band we are, we don't either. And, you know, we play some jazz fusion and cowboy hats. We don't really care, you know, as long as it feels good and it feels right. Like it's like what, you know what Eddie Murphy said, if the people laugh when you say what you say, say that shit. Yeah, fuck it.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah. I had someone compliment me the other day and said, you know, it's not like you're a comedian, by the way. I just done an arena. He's like, it's not. You're a comedian. You're just like, you're just telling, like you're almost like telling us stories in your living room. And I go, yeah, I guess. I don't know, man. I try to write jokes, they just come out horrible. Like if I write a stand up joke, it sounds like a dad joke.

[Marcus King]

Well, there's a comfortability to it, you know, it's. You just make people feel welcomed and, you know, at home. So it is like that.

[Bert Kreischer]

I'm fascinated by your process because I've read a bunch about this album. So let's backtrack a little bit.

[Marcus King]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

The last album you put out, you sent me a pre. You sent it to me ahead of time and Leanne got a hold of it. And then all of a sudden Leanne became obsessed with you. And I'm telling you, she listens to you. There are three people she listens to you. Sturgill, Simpson and the Red Clay Strays. That's it. That's it. And why. Thank you, Kyle. Come on in. And thank you for your service, Kyle.

[Marcus King]

Thank you for your service.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah. What was, what was your military outfit? The one, the one, the six, seven. What was it? Asus, OCPs. All of them. Nice.

[Marcus King]

Bro was telling me his first name. Zeke. Zeke. Kyle.

[Bert Kreischer]

Kyle. That's great. So, but I want to get to like, because I am very familiar with how my process works. And as silly as this may sound, it is just hanging out and kind of waiting for it to show up. Like if I journal now, Starting on my 53rd birthday, I journal every morning. It's not inconducive for me writing stand up. My journal is a little. God forbid anyone refine this. They'll have me committed. And I can't journal to music. I have to journal to silence. Yeah. And, and, and writing a joke is silly. Like, I was listening to your album on the plane and I said, I want to Listen to it a few times. You know, sometimes with an audiobook, you can hit times two. So I was like, oh, I wonder if there's a times two. And then I was like, oh. And then I'd come out and going, I listened to your album on Double Speed. It's not that good, you know, but so then that's like a silly joke I wrote in my head. So that's my process. I gotta wait to be silly for it to happen. You were talking about how important this engineer was in an interview. I forget where I got it. And I'm curious. I'm curious. We don't even have any of that stand up. It's just you. So what does an engineer bring to the table? And where you recorded this whole album was important, right? Yeah, it was at Capricorn.

[Marcus King]

Recorded it at Capricorn Studios in Macon, Georgia. And, you know, an engineer or a producer's job is really, for me, is to come in and to almost artificially create an energy in which you can be your most vulnerable and honest self.

[Bert Kreischer]

Wait, where is Capricorn? Is that in downtown Macon?

[Marcus King]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

Oh, shit. Yeah.

[Marcus King]

That Macon Allman Brothers recorded all their stuff, or not all their stuff. I mean, this is where they first got together and performed as a band for Phil Walden, who started the company. And before it was Capricorn, it was Red Wall. So it was Otis Redding and Phil Wall.

[Bert Kreischer]

Otis Redding's from Macon, Georgia.

[Marcus King]

Yeah. Him and Little Richard from the same street.

[Bert Kreischer]

Are you serious?

[Marcus King]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

How about. How about. How about Kodak Black and Lamar Jackson went to grade school together.

[Marcus King]

Wow.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah. And it makes so much sense.

[Marcus King]

Small world.

[Bert Kreischer]

Fuck. I love when that happens. Like when Jason Williams and. And Randy Moss played basketball together. I love that. But Otis Redding breaks my heart.

[Marcus King]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

The story of Otis Redding. Are you. How familiar are you with Otis?

[Marcus King]

Very familiar.

[Bert Kreischer]

So do you want to tell everyone how he basically just put out one album, he was like, 26 and then died? Yeah.

[Marcus King]

I mean, he put out all this wonderful music, and he had the first posthumous number one single, which is kind of a big deal. You know, he was the first one to have a number one hit, like, after he'd already passed away. His plane went down. Where was that? Up in.

[Bert Kreischer]

I think it was in a frozen lake.

[Marcus King]

It was a frozen lake. And it was before, like, you know, they had laws around, like, being able to photograph, like, so there's photographs of him, like, being pulled up out of the lake, and it's just really awful stuff. And, you know, he wrote sitting on the dock of the bay after he did Monterey Pop Festival in San Francisco, or Monterey rather. He did that festival. Blew everybody's minds. You know, he had Steve cropper, Al Jackson, Jr. Booker T. He had Booker T. And the MGs as his backing band. He's a Macon, Georgia guy. Recorded all of his stuff down in Memphis, Tennessee and they found that sound and he went out there and sitting on the dock of the bay, you know, he. He didn't finish it. That's why he whistled the last, you know, little refrain. So he whistled it because he was gonna sing something else there. But he died before he had the chance to do so. So they put it out like that and it became one of the more, you know, memorable parts of the song.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah, yeah. It's a part. It's a part everyone can sing along to.

[Marcus King]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

What, what's your favorite Otis writing song?

[Marcus King]

My favorite Otis Redding song's probably Cigarettes and black coffee.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Marcus King]

That's a great one.

[Bert Kreischer]

I like Try a Little Tenderness.

[Marcus King]

Oh man.

[Bert Kreischer]

And can I tell you, I feel like try I now I. This is how much I like Try a Little Tenderness is. I can't listen to the Jay Z remix.

[Marcus King]

I love it.

[Bert Kreischer]

It breaks my heart.

[Marcus King]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

So I go, don't touch it. Yeah, like don't touch it. That song. On a Sunday morning, sitting in a pool before your kids are up with a cup of coffee, cranking on the stereo evokes church to me.

[Marcus King]

Oh yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

Speaking of which, you're working with Corey Henry tonight.

[Marcus King]

I am.

[Bert Kreischer]

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[Bert Kreischer]

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[Marcus King]

Oh, yeah, that's right.

[Bert Kreischer]

I did. It was a Sunday morning in San Francisco, and we were at the Blue Note Jazz Festival, and I think Chappelle had invited us up. Me and Leanne went. We were supposed to go see Widespread in Alabama, And Leanne was like that, let's go to Chappelle's Festival.

[Marcus King]

That's a hard pivot, right? And I feel like you and I, we're pretty kindred spirits. Like, I get pretty prepared for one thing, and if we pivot, I'm. I'm a little out of sorts, so.

[Bert Kreischer]

You know how she tricked me?

[Marcus King]

How?

[Bert Kreischer]

Come on, we'll drink. We'll get drunk.

[Marcus King]

See?

[Bert Kreischer]

And I was like, okay, Adam in.

[Marcus King]

Yep.

[Bert Kreischer]

Because if we had gone to Widespread, it would have been her probably not drinking, watching me drink. And then I would have been like, yeah. And then I'd be like, let's smoke weed. So I don't, like. Don't make me sick. I won't throw up. And then. But we went to that, and I woke up one Sunday morning. She goes, let's get a cocktail and go see what's out there. Corey Henry held like, a. A mass at, like, noon, 12:30. And we ended up. I mean, the. It was the coolest event. And you can edit whatever you want out of this, but this is so interesting at that. I'm sitting, I'm. I light a joint, I have a cocktail. I think it's the first time I ever had a buzzball. And. And this black dude's sitting there in his recliner smoking a cigar. And he looks at me, and I said, I'm not going. I wish I had one of those. And he opens it up, he's take one. And I was like, yeah. He goes, yeah, just give me a cigar next time you see me. And I go, I don't know when that's going to be. He goes, come find me. And I said, give me your number. I travel a lot. His name was James Earl Jones. It's not the one you think.

[Marcus King]

It's a different James Earl Jones.

[Bert Kreischer]

James Earl Jones. And me and this guy started texting Marcus, and we've been texting now for, like, three years. And he didn't know. Like, I said, hey, I'm in. I shouldn't say where he lives, wherever that area. I said, yo, I'm in your neighborhood. Why don't you come up a cigar with me? He's like, great, where you at? And I was like, the. The. The. The arena. And he was like, huh? I said, I'm performing. And he's like, you're famous. And I was like, yeah, come. So we sat by my tour bus.

[Marcus King]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

And had a cigar. And now we keep in touch. He text me. He hit me up one day. He goes. He goes, hey, man, I'm following you on Instagram. You're, like, losing weight. I'm going to the doctor for the first time. You inspired me. So we've kept in touch.

[Marcus King]

That's awesome.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Marcus King]

And he's. He's just named James Earl Jones.

[Bert Kreischer]

Isn't that crazy?

[Marcus King]

Is he younger or older than.

[Bert Kreischer]

He's my age.

[Marcus King]

Okay, so he's younger than the other James Earl Jones. That's really interesting, man.

[Bert Kreischer]

Look at this.

[Marcus King]

It's a very burnt situation.

[Bert Kreischer]

Oh, look, it's just him. Every day, he sends me whatever she's smoking. Isn't that great? And, like, a friendship. And we just. And I text them when I'm smoking.

[Marcus King]

The cigar community is a good community. They're pretty chill people.

[Bert Kreischer]

What's better? So are you still. So are you still sober?

[Marcus King]

I am sober.

[Bert Kreischer]

How long?

[Marcus King]

I mean, the broad answer is probably the last time we podcasted together.

[Bert Kreischer]

I.

[Marcus King]

Fell off the wagon, like, the night before, just to clear the air. I was in San Diego, fell off the wagon down there, rolled it into la, came here, and that's the first time we met each other. So this is like two years ago, maybe almost three. I was like, I'm hurting, buddy. And you're like, I got you.

[Bert Kreischer]

I got. Someone. Was like, dude, you're getting negative comments. You were drinking with Marcus. He's been sober. I was like, I don't give a fuck. I was like, I really, like.

[Marcus King]

It was such a cathartic experience, and it was needed, you know? I mean, it's an unpopular thing to say, but, like, I do feel like being completely drunk with a good friend and person you can talk to. I would have preferred our conversation where B would not live on the Internet, but that conversation needed to happen for me.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Marcus King]

In my heart. And it's just easier to have those conversations when you're, you know, in a bag a little bit.

[Bert Kreischer]

It's a little. It's a little easier to be honest drunk.

[Marcus King]

Absolutely.

[Bert Kreischer]

I told our couples therapist, I may come. I may come drunk a couple times. She was like, do you need that? And I was like, no, but just giving you a heads up, I'm not really great at therapy. But I was like, let's not forget who pays the bill here. So if you like your job. Yeah, I'm Going to show up in the bag a couple of times.

[Marcus King]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

And you're going to get a different side of me. You're going to get a little more honest side. I don't know. I don't. I don't know. Do you. Do you struggle with wanting to drink at all? Because there's a pill I'm taking that'll take that away right away. Yeah, I'm taking that Manjaro shot.

[Marcus King]

Oh, yeah. I saw your post, dude.

[Bert Kreischer]

It. Yeah, it does this. Everything. Everything. It just goes like.

[Marcus King]

Nothing's fun.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah. It takes a sparkle away. It does.

[Marcus King]

I mean, you know, it's just like.

[Bert Kreischer]

You're not supposed to drink champagne and go, ugh.

[Marcus King]

I know, man. Everything fun in life. I just can't. I can't do moderation. I know. I don't have a problem, you know, not starting. I just have a problem stopping. So I encourage everybody. What's helped me stay sober as long as I have, which is this. This is probably the longest I've been sober in my life. And I did it because I love my wife. And, you know, I thought when I met her that I could learn how to drink like a gentleman. I was like, I'm happy. I don't need to drink to forget things. I want to enjoy my life. But there's something in me that, you know, comes to life when I've had too much and it wants to destroy everything good in my life because I don't feel like I deserve it. So that's what alcohol does to me. And it was a lot of time discovering that and realizing that and realizing I don't want it. But I like everyone else around me to have a good time because they can do it responsibly and really, like, what we were talking about, like, alcohol just kind of lowers that social barrier, that uncomfortability of, like, social interaction you have that. I absolutely have it. But now, instead of me having a few cocktails when I go somewhere so I can be more loose and have more conversations, I allow everybody else to kind of have a few. And I just look at it in that perspective. Everyone else has let their guard down, so it allows me just to be me. It helps me.

[Bert Kreischer]

Interesting. Yeah, interesting. When was the last time you wanted to drink? You were, like, where you were like, like. Like I do sober. October every year. And I just finished it. And getting back off the wagon is really difficult for me. Having that first drink is really difficult.

[Marcus King]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

I usually never want it, and every time I've. Every time I've done it recently in the last couple years, meaning a chunk of sobriety in that first drink. It's been almost like court order type things. I had a cruise. It was the first night of the cruise, and they're like, you got. You're gonna have to drink on the cruise, right? And then I was with my daughter, Georgia. We were at Parents Weekend. She was like, yo, you'll. You'll have a beer with me, right? And I was like, absolutely. And then. But then the second I start, it's like, all right, we're back. We're back in the game. Like, there's no, like, my moderation. I gotta. I have to do. I have to do chunks of not drinking and chunks of drinking and chunks of not drinking and chunks of drinking. Yeah. And then until I took this Manjaro shit. Now I'm like. It's like. It's. I mean, I got on a plane yesterday wanting a drink, and I was just. I wanted to throw up when it got to me, and I went, I can't take it.

[Marcus King]

I know, man.

[Bert Kreischer]

Like, when I.

[Marcus King]

When I started this album, like, I actually. Cause we started the record, gosh, like, three years ago, really. So it's an interesting album for me to look to, listen back to.

[Bert Kreischer]

It's an interesting album for me to listen to because I'm wondering what songs are about your relationship, what songs are about addiction, what songs are just stories. Like. Like, it's a really interesting album. And I can't even. I can't even. Like, there's a line. I think it's. I think it's. I mean, I can't remember. It's. Every time I. Every time I put it down, it gets heavier or something.

[Marcus King]

Oh, yeah. It gets heavier every time I put it down.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah, it's better. No wonder you wrote it the way I said. It's dumber. But. But. Yeah, but. And I go. And I. And I know that's for me, that I know what that means. It's the bottle.

[Marcus King]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

Every time I put it down, I go, maybe I'll never pick it up. You know what I mean? But I didn't. I'm curious to know about that. But you were saying. The question was, last time you wanted to party, and you were like, right.

[Marcus King]

Well, I mean. Yeah. I mean, the record's interesting because there is this kind of dichotomy of, like, my creative process. Like, half of the record I did when I was still drinking heavily. And I remember those times, and all those times were really. My buddy Brent Hines was there, and we were doing mushrooms and drinking a lot. And then the rest of the record was just microdosing and being healthy, being sober. So when I listen back to it, I can kind of see which moments, you know, and just. And really kind of analyze them. But the last time I really wanted to party, I guess, I mean, it's hard to say, man. I mean, the moment that comes to mind is probably the Florabama, because I wasn't drinking then and everyone was having such a good time. But there comes a moment, like around 1 or 2am where I'm like, I think I made the right call.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah. You know, for me, it's at, at home, it's at 8:30. Once I hit 8:30, if I hadn't had a drink by 8:30, I go, oh, yeah, it's not worth it.

[Marcus King]

Not happening.

[Bert Kreischer]

If I can, if I can get to 8:30, I call it the witching hours. When the sun sets and it looks beautiful outside and everything seems perfect and you feel like you earned it. Because there's got to be times where you're like, yo, man, I'm one of the hardest working out there.

[Marcus King]

I mean, my wife gets on to me because, like, you know, I like to have my morning smoke, I like to have my morning cigarette. And some days I'm like, I'll. I'll crack a Heineken zero, you know, with my cigarette. So I'm having a beer and a cigarette technically at like 7 in the morning, but it's an NA and I'm like, this is the price I have to pay, you know?

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Marcus King]

It just means that this day would have been off the rails because I woke up wanting to have a drink, you know, and it could have gone off the rails really easily.

[Bert Kreischer]

This episode is brought to you by netflix. Global superstar and comedy sensation Kevin Hart returns for his fifth Netflix special. Acting My Age.

[Marcus King]

I'm not the same man that I used to be. I go down the stairs sideways.

[Bert Kreischer]

Go ahead. You in a rush. Go away. With a fresh perspective on life, family and getting older.

[Marcus King]

Older you get, the less you can have.

[Bert Kreischer]

Is this sesame seeds on that bun? Get it out of here. Kevin's bringing his signature high energy humor and physical comedy in a true return to his stand up origins. Watch Kevin Hart Acting My Age. Now streaming only on Netflix. Wayfair's big sale is returning. Get ready for way day for four days only. Score up to 80% off all things Home with free shipping on everything from October 26th through 29th. Score. Wayfair's best deals like up to 80 off area rugs, up to 60 off mattresses, up to 60 off bedroom furniture, and more exclusive door buster deals. So mark your calendar and shop wayday starting October [e-mail] wayfair Every style, every home. But yeah, that's, yeah, Nas have never gone and done it for me.

[Marcus King]

I never was an n a guy, but like, I guess a year or two ago, I don't know, something about them. Just that placebo effect, I guess.

[Bert Kreischer]

Wait, can you microdose mushrooms?

[Marcus King]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Bert Kreischer]

So I then, okay, then, if you microdose mushrooms, how come we can't microdose everything?

[Marcus King]

That's a good question, Bert.

[Bert Kreischer]

I would love to microdose alcohol.

[Marcus King]

I think it's, you know, an interesting conversation to be had.

[Bert Kreischer]

What, what they need to do is it needs to be a certain amount of alcohol to just get me to that. All I want to feel is the, the sparkle. Yeah. That's all I want to see is that and then, and then let it go away and then just get there. I, I, they should do like a.

[Marcus King]

I do feel like mushrooms kind of do that.

[Bert Kreischer]

That's what they say. I, I can't, I've never microdone dose mushrooms, but I also only use mushrooms to trip my balls on.

[Marcus King]

Right. You've only macro dosed. If you take a microdose, you might be surprised. It kind of gives you that sparkle. It gives you that, like.

[Bert Kreischer]

All right. Really?

[Marcus King]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

So, so then like, so here's my problem with Xanax. I can never take Xanax on. I love Xanax. I think Xanax is one of the greatest drugs in the world. I haven't taken it, I haven't taken it in probably three years.

[Marcus King]

Okay.

[Bert Kreischer]

My cardiologist told me I was explaining my lifestyle to my cardiologist, and he was like this, I was like, yeah, I like to get off. I get after it on the weekends.

[Marcus King]

And then tore out the frame.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah. And then on, on Monday, I take a xanax around 4pm so I don't have the, I take half A Xanax at 4:00pm I don't have the. I don't want to drink. And then I take, I sleep great. And then I don't drink. Tuesday, I don't drink. Wednesday, I head out on the road Thursday, and I'll drink Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Xanax on. And he was like, stop, stop at the Xanax. He's like, it melts your brain. I was like, really goes, never takes Xanax again. I'm never going to let you take Xanax again. So I've taken Xanax since, but. But my problem with Xanax on a plane is I couldn't. I couldn't manage it, you know? I mean, I took it and it was there, but I like the taking of it.

[Marcus King]

Oh, I like the.

[Bert Kreischer]

I like the. I like the drinking. I like the actual. I like measuring it. I like the. The being the scientist that's working this thing. Do you know?

[Marcus King]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

It's like, with cocaine, I would love to be the guy that does one line, but the fun of cocaine is having it in your pocket.

[Marcus King]

It is fun. And then you want to get rid of it. Yeah, you know, I used to get rid of a lot.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Marcus King]

I enjoyed it so much, dude. It was. I mean, my dad told me when I was, like, 17, he said, never try cocaine because you'll love it. And I did. Boy.

[Bert Kreischer]

And it delivers.

[Marcus King]

It does every time.

[Bert Kreischer]

I mean, can you imagine being the first guy in the jungle that discovered cocaine? And you're like, I think I figured out God.

[Marcus King]

Yeah. I think I just.

[Bert Kreischer]

And I'm him.

[Marcus King]

Yeah. I mean, hell, like, in its original state, like, the coca leaves, like, it was in Coca Cola, you know, but now when you see them, like, even if you go back and see, like, how they process it with the gasoline and stuff, it's a little sketchy. And for years, like, the baby laxative and stuff that they would cut it with, like, when I found some real uncut stuff, like, I think the first time was in Jamaica, and I was, like, 19. And, yeah, I was doing a lot of this, like, really pure, you know, coke. And it was. It was a crazy time. But when the fentanyl came in into play, I was like, yeah, I think I'm gonna bow out. And I met my wife, like, the next night.

[Bert Kreischer]

For real?

[Marcus King]

Yeah. I ran out of cocaine. And I was like, I don't think I want to with that anymore because I wasn't going to be home for a while. And the dude that I got it from, he, like, meticulously tested it, and, like, you know, he would always get me really clean stuff. And, you know, I was like, I don't really want to try my chances out here on the road to find it, you know? And then I actually met my wife the next night, and I didn't want to do it. Well, I wanted to do it, but, like, I just didn't want to take the risk because I had something I wanted to live for, you know?

[Bert Kreischer]

Wow. Is it tough growing up, for lack of better words, like a prodigy.

[Marcus King]

It's kind of interesting, man. I don't know. I just. I wanted to do anything I could to make. Make myself feel like people loved me. So I would. I put all my eggs in that basket. I played all the time because that's how I would experience love.

[Bert Kreischer]

Did you feel like. When you were a kid, did you feel like you didn't deserve love?

[Marcus King]

Absolutely.

[Bert Kreischer]

Really? I still struggle with that, how you're so loved.

[Marcus King]

I know.

[Bert Kreischer]

Like, you're, like, you're, you're actually in the group. When I think of it, of the, like, most lovable people.

[Marcus King]

Thanks. There's so the same about you.

[Bert Kreischer]

Well, I should check the comments on this episode. Be shocked. Too many people hate me in that. And you know that really, for a period of time, that really affected me.

[Marcus King]

I don't know. Me too.

[Bert Kreischer]

Because you go, I'm my only goal. And I wasn't a prodigy. I was just. And I'm. My only goal was to get. Was approval, you know, that's why I got into stand up, is I could tell if they liked it, and if they didn't like it, I tried something different to get them to like it. And the only currency in my business is approval and, and I. And negativity. People that didn't like me, I, I. It made me so confused. I was like, I'm trying everything to get you to like me. And then they could just be like, yeah, fuck you, you're corny, or whatever, and you'd be like, ugh. But someone like you, you are undeniably like, as I. Whenever I bring you up to anyone, the base thing they say is there's something different about him. He's special. And you've heard that your whole life, but even you still say, I got. I, I don't feel it.

[Marcus King]

Yeah, it's something that I'm still chasing down, you know, with therapy. And it's hard. Like, you know, my therapist called me the other day and I forgot we had a session and I had something to do, so I answered the phone, spoke to her for, like, 20 minutes, was like, I'm sorry, I gotta. I gotta jump off here. But, like, prioritizing, you know, physical and mental health, that's been a big one for me. Just trying to discover the root of why I don't feel like I deserve love, you know, and there's something in me. Like, when I drink, it really comes out for real. And I feel like I need to destroy anything that does Give me love or affection because I don't deserve it anyway.

[Bert Kreischer]

You know, just when you. When you're in good shape, like, you're in pretty good shape right now.

[Marcus King]

I'm okay.

[Bert Kreischer]

You. You look good.

[Marcus King]

Thanks.

[Bert Kreischer]

Does that make you feel better about yourself?

[Marcus King]

Yeah. I mean, if I can feel physically like I'm, you know, losing weight or, you know, it's. It's actually hard having, like, a really hot wife too, because, like, the Internet comments again, people are like, you know, what's going on here? Like, this woman does not care about this guy. And it's like, I know. I really think she does, you know, and it can. It could create, like, insecurities within your own home. Just people throwing bullshit comments out there, you know, and sometimes they're funny. It's like they look like every sec couple. That's hilarious. You know, if people are funny in an Internet comment and they're being disparaging, I give that a hall pass. Like, if somebody calls me Biggie Strings, that's fucking hilarious. Yeah, but, you know, if you're funny.

[Bert Kreischer]

In a comment, yeah, I'll laugh.

[Marcus King]

But if you're just like, super mean, I. I mean, it really does get to me.

[Bert Kreischer]

What's crazy is that even the really mean people. I hate to, like, try to get meta about this. They're more like us than they think. They're struggling for love too. That's why they're coming with hate. That's. I mean, I can't imagine it on. I understand that. I would love for someone to explain why hate is fun. Like, I would love, you know, those people that put out, like, mean videos or. Or I would love for them to really break it down and go, this is what I get out of it. Like, I. Because I'm curious because I can't get. I. I can't. When they do them about my friends, I can't watch those. Yeah, like, I can. My. And I have friends who, like, send me clips about me and they're like, do you see this? This is hysterical. And I'm like, oh, no, dude.

[Marcus King]

I know. Like, my wife has friends who will, like, send videos and be like, can you believe what this person said about you? And I'm like, you have to stop doing that. Because Briley and I are really similar. We kind of go through these, like. And we're much better about it now, but we'll go through these patterns of, like, I'll be like, really down on myself because I've read the wrong shit. And then she does it and we just kind of help each other out of that, you know, that cycle.

[Bert Kreischer]

But it's so funny because I was with Briley. Jelly rolls roast.

[Marcus King]

Oh, yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

And we were talking, and she brought something like that up. It's interesting to me as an outsider, I watched her. For anyone who doesn't know, Briley is absolutely gorgeous. And I watched her go into a club with us, and I looked at guys look at her, and I watched her. She is a lot like Leanne. She is singularly focused. She has no interest in talking to anyone. She was there to hang out with me and Leanne, I think, and Bunny and Jelly, and just in a group. She was not, like, going around and trying to get drinks or meet. It was. She was. She was a married woman. And it was interesting to see that because I. She's standing next to Leanne the entire time. The two of them were, like, inseparable and just had Mary Jig energy. And I know a dude hit on her. She went like, this the fuck? And then looked at Leigh Ann, she's like, no. And then both of them rolled their eyes. And then she randomly brought up one of the things she had read online or someone had sent her online. And I'd never seen that. I'd never seen it because I don't read the comment. And I said to her, it's not real to me. And then I realized, oh, but it's very real to her. And whatever's real to me, it's not real to anyone else. It's not real to the people I'm doing projects with. They don't read it. They're like, huh? What are you talking about? Like, you just said, I think you're loved. And I go, oh, you know, one of my favorite human beings in the world is Theo Vaughn. I think he's a precious guy. Meaning I think he's special in a lot of ways. He's very. He's a lot like me and you. You know, stubs his problems and. Very sensitive, sweet guy, all. He doesn't have a negative bone in his body.

[Marcus King]

Right?

[Bert Kreischer]

But I, I. But, you know, it's. I want. It's. When I look at you, I go, you're like chappelle to me. Like, you guys were just given a gift, and all you're doing is you're sharing that gift with the world. And how can anyone say anything but thank you?

[Marcus King]

Well, I mean, that's a really nice way to put it. I've never seen a nasty comment from an attractive person. And maybe it's the ghost accounts. Maybe that's an attractive person, but I doubt it. I've never seen an attractive person, you know, willingly without, you know, a private account or like a ghost account. Say something disparaging. It's always, you know, just dog, ass, ugly people.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah. So do there are.

[Marcus King]

Take that and use it for what you want.

[Bert Kreischer]

Are there comments that live in your head? Because I have like, there's like one comment that one guy wrote when I was still doing clubs and by the way, wasn't selling tickets at clubs. And I think about that comment so often. At one comment he goes. It was like, I'll be at the. I was, I. I can tell you where I was playing. I was playing Minnesota House of Comedy. I think it's called Acme House. Not Acme. It's the one in the mall. It's the one in the mall. Jimmy Kimmel's sister, Jill Kimmel opened me for this weekend. That weekend. That's how this so bizarre. Still on Travel Channel. Really? Yeah. And someone wrote, this guy sucks. All he does is take his shirt off, get drunk as fuck and tell one story. And I was like, yeah, technically, what's wrong with that? Yeah, but I was like, but clearly I do more than that. But that's all you see. I think of that, I think of that comment. And there was another comment. I just, I got onto a live stream, like a football game or whatever.

[Marcus King]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

And I was like, oh, this is awesome. And someone was like, oh, shit, Bert Kreisler's in here. And someone's like, bert Kreisler. And this dude goes, oh, cool, a 50 year old guy who smokes weed. And I was like, oh, what the fuck? I can't even just go in here. The fucking. They get you sometimes. And then, and then it's just hurtful ones where you're like, ugh, yeah, what? Like there was this. There was this. Yeah. And then they say, don't even talk about them because it gets, you know, that what they want is the attention. But, you know, I wish we could just make the world a better place. I've never left a negative comment ever.

[Marcus King]

Me neither. I've replied to a few of them. You know, just, I, I like to do it. I don't really do it anymore. But for a time there I would reply to, to one every few months just to kind of remind people that I'm looking at this shit, you know, because I feel like they do kind of remove you from like being a real human. They look at you as A brand. You know, it's like if you say something shitty about Pepsi or Coca Cola, you don't think about one person being upset, you know? So if you look at Marcus King or Bert Kreischer as a brand, you're like, this guy fucking sucks. You know, you're thinking about it as a brand, you're not thinking about that person looking at him and getting upset by it. So every now and again, somebody will say something really shitty, and I'll message him and be like, that was really hurtful. And they almost never reply, but I just want to scare a little Jesus into them, you know?

[Bert Kreischer]

I got a good one. You want to hear this one?

[Marcus King]

I want to hear it.

[Bert Kreischer]

I was on Instagram, and, you know, sometimes I get. My fingers get fast and I get ahead of myself. Yeah, and you get happy fingers. And I think. I think. I know. I think the guy's a friend of mine now, and I can't really remember everything, but I see one of the guys on this podcast, and he's a comedian, and he's got a podcast with his best friend, who's not a comedian, I don't know. And he goes, bert Kreischer. And I went. And the guy goes, bert fucking Kreischer. And I went, oh, nice. I'm about to get a little love. So real quick, I checked that comedian. I go, oh, yeah, I know him. I follow him already. I go, let me real quick, follow his friend, follow their podcast. And, like, this video now, what were they saying about Bert Kreisler? And they're like, bert Kreischer is the most annoying person alive. I am done with him and his laugh. It's like he's never been funny. Joe Rogan made him famous. And I'm like. And no, I've already liked everyone, and I've already followed everyone. And I'm like, oh, my God, now I got to unfollow. And then I was like. So I just texted them, and I was like, guys, I'm really sorry. I followed you. I didn't know you hated me. I'm really sorry. I liked the video about you hating me, but, like, just letting you know that. And then the one guy wrote back, holy fuck, I never thought you'd see this.

[Marcus King]

Right?

[Bert Kreischer]

And I was like, well, you tagged Bert Kreischer in it. Why wouldn't you think it would come across my page? And he was like, we were just talking shit, man. And you're like, okay. So. So then I write half of it off to just talking Shit, I write half of it off to being contrarian. They see a lot of love, they want to go, ah, this guy fucking sucks. I write half it off. But then I wonder, you know, does, like, someone like, fucking Chris Stapleton get negative comments and does he get upset? Chris Stapleton looks to me like this untouchable mass of hair.

[Marcus King]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

You know, or like Zach Brown.

[Marcus King]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

Like fucking. I'm not saying that. I think we're artists who wear everything on our sleeve. When I listen to your music, you're very vulnerable. Your albums aren't. I'm not trying to find the right way to say this. Your music isn't branded to sell a whiskey. Does that make sense?

[Marcus King]

Absolutely.

[Bert Kreischer]

Your music is about my favorite song on this album. I've listened to the whole album. Dirt was the first song that caught in our house, where Leanne just played it on repeat. It was on repeat. The on and on was the one that. And. And I. And I. I started crying when I was listening to it because I realized why I love you so much, and it's that you sound so much like one of my favorite artists ever, Shannon Hoon.

[Marcus King]

Oh, wow.

[Bert Kreischer]

And it's not until the very end of on and on when it's just you kind of acapella. And I went, oh, my God, this is. I love your voice. Is so, so honest.

[Marcus King]

I had one other person tell me that. Somebody I used to work with.

[Bert Kreischer]

For real?

[Marcus King]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

When you fired them.

[Marcus King]

No, no, it was. No, they're very good people. It was from, like, my first management team. She worked with me, but she always told me I sounded like Shannon Hoon, which is really high praise.

[Bert Kreischer]

I mean, I think he is so underrated as a musician.

[Marcus King]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

Now knowing what I know about music now, you know, it's. You know, your artistry is. I have a weird time talking shit about one of my favorite musicians, but all of a sudden I listened to on and on, and I went, oh, my God. It's like your favorite artist passes away. And now all of a sudden you can. It's like I get two in one. Because now one of my favorite humans is. It's almost like a mashup. And I was like, this is. And I. As soon as I heard that song, then all of a sudden I was like. I was. I was just diving into everything. This whole album is so incredible. And the people you chose to work with are so interesting and so. And add so much to it. This album is just incredible. What. What. What did you ever think? And I. I'm just Saying this because we're talking about artists taken away too early. I watched this documentary on Jeff Buckley. Do you ever know anything about Jeff Buckley?

[Marcus King]

Not a great swimmer. Now, we can get that out.

[Bert Kreischer]

That guy.

[Marcus King]

Now, he was fantastic.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah, yeah, he was a sensitive dude. Or do you like sensitive artists? Or is there a part of you that looks at, like, Leonard Skynyrd? And I like.

[Marcus King]

I do like attitude.

[Bert Kreischer]

I like attitude. You got attitude on stage.

[Marcus King]

It's. It's foe. Yeah. No, I mean, it's real. Like, I gotta pump myself up a little bit. But you. You go out there and you gotta. You gotta be confident. It's like charming a snake, you know, talking to a girl at a bar. The whole audience is just the girl at the bar. And, like, if you go out there, like, they'll smell the fear on you.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Marcus King]

And there's some nights where, like, I know you can smell the fear on me, and, you know, I just gotta lean into that. But, you know, I try to go out there and be as confident as I can, and that usually makes for the best show.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah. But do. When you like, let's rank Southern rock bands and then tell me what you. What you liked about them.

[Marcus King]

Okay.

[Bert Kreischer]

Okay, so let's say. Let's do top five Southern rock bands. Leonard Skinner, Almond Brothers, Marshall Tucker Band. Let's go. Someone a little newer. Can we. Can we. What, What. Where can we quantify Southern rock? Give me two more that you would name and that I think you could.

[Marcus King]

Throw the Black crows in there.

[Bert Kreischer]

100.

[Marcus King]

Yeah, and I think you could throw. I think it would be good to throw. You want, like, a newer band because they kind of COVID like, that 90s portion. So, like, BlackBerry Smoke, I think would be. I don't know, BlackBerry Smoke, man, they're fantastic.

[Bert Kreischer]

Really?

[Marcus King]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

BlackBerry Smoke.

[Marcus King]

It's my buddy, Charlie Star. They're in Atlanta Band.

[Bert Kreischer]

And.

[Marcus King]

And Charlie's been one of my good friends for years. A wonderful writer and human being. They're definitely on that list for me.

[Bert Kreischer]

Okay, so then let's. Let's do this. So we'll take these bands, say, their best song that exemplifies the band. Okay, so for Leonard Skynyrd, what song do you think exemplifies the band?

[Marcus King]

Leonard Skinner. It exemplifies the band.

[Bert Kreischer]

And I'll. I'll throw out some ideas. Okay, Give me three steps.

[Marcus King]

Is.

[Bert Kreischer]

Is in. Paints a perfect Southern rock picture of a concrete square bar that's dimly lit. Yeah. Dimly lit with a sticky bar and the right kind. And there's cigarette Smoke everywhere. And the door opens up and you feel that, right? Simple man is. Simple man is a porch. It is. It is hot. It is an unbuttoned shirt. It is. It is the South. Give me three with. Tuesday's gone. Oh, my God.

[Marcus King]

I mean, you start getting into it like, Jesus Christ.

[Bert Kreischer]

What's the best Leonard Skinner song?

[Marcus King]

Best Leonard Skinner song. I mean, my favorite is a song called I Ain't the One.

[Bert Kreischer]

How am I not listening to that?

[Marcus King]

It's so heavy.

[Bert Kreischer]

Give me Back My Bullets.

[Marcus King]

It's a great one. I had to. One like that first record, pronounced Lynyrd Skynyrd. Ed King, he actually. Because Leon Wilkeson, like, he left the band really temporarily, just enough time for them to cut this record. And Ed King played all the bass parts on that record. So if you listen to the first album, it's a guitar player playing bass. And, like, there's some really inventive stuff that happened on the bass guitar on that first record, and this song's a great example of that.

[Bert Kreischer]

I Ain't the One, man. I don't think I've ever heard I Ain't the One.

[Marcus King]

It's great.

[Bert Kreischer]

So I'm. So I'm really. Because I used to make fun of Dead fans when they're like, I'm a big Dead fan.

[Marcus King]

They're really easy to make fun of. Yeah, it's. It's Orthodox church, man. I can't get in it. I can't get behind it.

[Bert Kreischer]

For real?

[Marcus King]

Yeah, dude.

[Bert Kreischer]

Oh, I love the deep cuts of the Dead or whatever.

[Marcus King]

Like, you're a great Grateful Dead fan because you can do it casually.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Marcus King]

You know, and we're both addictive personalities, but we can do the Grateful Dead casually. What does that say? You know what I'm saying? It's something that we don't have to do all the time, every day.

[Bert Kreischer]

God, how do we. How do we just find a way to transition that into drugs and alcohol?

[Marcus King]

I'm just saying, you know.

[Bert Kreischer]

So wait, so. So what. What would you say that is the. So you say I ain't the ones. The song. But what's the song that exemplifies this band? Is it Freebird is their best song?

[Marcus King]

I don't. I don't know if it's their. Their best song. I'd say, you know, that and Sweet.

[Bert Kreischer]

Home Alabama are definitely Sweet Home Alabama.

[Marcus King]

I mean, it's on the state sign.

[Bert Kreischer]

Sweet Home. I got to be honest with. I think. I think Adam Sandler ruined Tuesday is gone for me.

[Marcus King]

Oh, really?

[Bert Kreischer]

All I think of is Happy Gilmore.

[Marcus King]

It's such a perfect song for that movie.

[Bert Kreischer]

It's such a perfect song that it's like, you know, it's so funny. That's what music's happened a little bit. Is it? Because the easiest way to get a song popular is get it on TikTok. And then it becomes a tick tock song. And then what could have been an anthem for a generation now is just like, like a dance move.

[Marcus King]

Dude, it pisses me off so bad. Like, and I think I'm, I'm definitely just sour grapes about it. But, like, I got on stage the other night and I was really feeling just kind of, I don't know, just down in the dumps because we were tired and, like, we're going on to play in this, like, sea Market. And like, we had a hard time filling up the room. And we're just like, it's a Monday night. And like, who wants to go to a concert in Corpus Christi on a Monday night? And we're tired and we're up there. And like, I was playing a song, I'm like, this is a song I wrote and I went to a recording studio and I recorded it and then I released it on a record like an adult. I didn't put it right on fucking TikTok. And it's because I'm sour about it and I get pissed off because there's like, kids out there that are like, you know, gonna have me open for them. And I've been just like, with my head in the dirt for 10 years and they haven't left their couch, you know, and people are like, they're in high demand.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Marcus King]

People are losing their minds. And I'm like, this is what's wrong with our country, Bert. This is what I was, you know.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah. No, no, I, listen, I, I'm, I, I, I am biting my tongue because I'm, I'm watching the decline of stand up comedy.

[Marcus King]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

I'm watching it with my own eyes and I'm like. And I'm like. And I've said it to people. I've said it. I was like, we had a boom and it's. But I don't.

[Marcus King]

What do you think started the decline? Like, crowd work clips.

[Bert Kreischer]

Wow. I'll tell you, crowd work clips didn't help because it turned comedy into the introduced comedy to a bunch of people that didn't know about comedy. As in, this is how it's done. You yell at them.

[Marcus King]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

And then they'll defend themselves.

[Marcus King]

Right.

[Bert Kreischer]

And that never was Something anyone wanted to do. What you want to do. I mean, the art form, in essence, is getting a bunch of strangers, that's a very important part, strangers, to laugh at your idea and come together and celebrate funny ideas that remind them that they're all the same. And then, you know, and I've had people yell out at my shows, you know, and it's tough. I'm in a big venue, so I don't know. I don't. I can't even fucking hear them right. And then. But yeah, it's crowd work clips. And it wasn't just that it was like crowd work clips. It was that couple guys did it and they did it pretty well. Like, I'll tell you real quick, Mark Norman and Sam morale are brilliant.

[Marcus King]

So good.

[Bert Kreischer]

They're so good. And. But they're not even. I gotta let everyone realize that that's not technically what they're doing. What they're doing is they're writing on stage faster about topical issues than anyone else could. Yeah. And so they're really brilliant comics. They got a rap as crowd work comics when it was. That's not what I'm upset with. Matt Rife's crowd work special is very fucking artful. I mean, he is very talented at crowd work.

[Marcus King]

Big J is the greatest.

[Bert Kreischer]

Big J is in bag. Big J, they are insane crowd work comedians.

[Marcus King]

And I bring it up only because I've heard other people complain about crowd work clips. And like, when I see, like, Big J's crowd work special, they them, I'm like, this is some of the greatest of all time. I took my whole, like, family, like, the night before I got married to see Big J at Zany's in Nashville. And like, my super conservative, like, wife's family was just, you know, he almost walked him a few times.

[Bert Kreischer]

Oh, yeah, it was great.

[Marcus King]

Yeah, it was fantastic.

[Bert Kreischer]

By the way, I have to say this, Big J, when we took. When he went out and did Fully Loaded with us, he would get on stage and not do crowd work for 15 minutes and destroy sitting on a stool.

[Marcus King]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

And. But if. If he decides to do crowd work, you will not move until he decides you're done. Yeah, he is just brilliant.

[Marcus King]

He is.

[Bert Kreischer]

But then a bunch of people thought they could do what Big J did. Then it's just them going, where you from? And tells you. And he's like, oh, wow, that's crazy there. And then he gets 4 million views and you're like, wow. And then, I mean, you know. But once again, it's like, it's like, there's a guy I was talking to and I. And Jeff Akuria is his name, and he was like, I'm a big crowd work comic. And I. And I kind of rolled my eyes at it. He's a very nice guy and he's very talented. But I was like, I wouldn't say you're a crowd work. Don't say you're. But he's known as a crowd work guy, you know? And I was like. And I was just like, that's. You know, when we were kids, crowd works. What we did to get out of a bad spot.

[Marcus King]

Right.

[Bert Kreischer]

That was when you were failing.

[Marcus King]

Yeah. You gotta. Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

Nick, you. You know, you. And so. But then I watched his videos and I was like, well, he's pretty amazing. Nice.

[Marcus King]

That was fantastic.

[Bert Kreischer]

Tommy.

[Tom Segura]

What's up, dude?

[Bert Kreischer]

I'm on the podcast with Marcus King.

[Tom Segura]

Oh, what's up, Marcus?

[Marcus King]

What's up, dude?

[Bert Kreischer]

We were just talking about you. Oh, okay. Hey. Hey. What do you think about crowd work comics?

[Marcus King]

I mean, it's a. You know.

[Tom Segura]

To what level? It's like, it's a skill you should have. If it's your whole set, you ain't. But I mean, you know, it's definitely something you should be able to do.

[Bert Kreischer]

Okay, we'll call you later. We just. I didn't realize I saved your. Your ringtone. It's Raining Men.

[Marcus King]

Yeah. Scared the shit out of him. It was great.

[Tom Segura]

That's. That's perfect.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

So who are you trashing in particular? I know you're somebody.

[Bert Kreischer]

No, we know. We were just.

[Marcus King]

No, no.

[Bert Kreischer]

Marcus and I are having a very emotional two bears right now, and so we're talking about negative comments and. And not feeling worth anything and trying to get people to like us on stage and confidence and should we feel love. And then. And then. And then Marcus was talking about how musicians are TikTok kids, and then all of a sudden they blow up.

[Marcus King]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

And he's like.

[Marcus King]

And it's kind of the similarity being, like, crowd work clips going viral to, like, kids, like, you know that. That was the kind of the similarity there we were discussing.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Marcus King]

I mean, you know, the one thing.

[Tom Segura]

Is, don't forget that we all feel the same, dude. We all fucking feel the same. Everybody's the same. We all wish we were liked more. We all want more respect. It's all. We're the same.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah. Clip that out, everybody. Can't believe I've ever heard you say that. You're the most confident person I've ever met.

[Marcus King]

Yeah.

[Tom Segura]

That is not true. That's not true.

[Bert Kreischer]

Okay. Okay. I love you.

[Tom Segura]

And I love you too, Marcus.

[Marcus King]

Love you, man.

[Bert Kreischer]

All right.

[Marcus King]

I love you, buddy.

[Bert Kreischer]

Bye. Do you know how many times. You know, it's so funny, when we started talking about this, it's like, I have a. I have an authentic relationship with you. I have an authentic relationship with Jelly. I'll never have an authentic relationship with Zach Brown. And I like Zach a lot, but because I met him when he was famous, like, so I'll always look at him as like. That's Zach Brown.

[Marcus King]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

When I met you, first time I ever saw you was on your mom's house. And you just come out with your first album, I think. Not your first, obviously.

[Marcus King]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

Seven.

[Marcus King]

I can't.

[Bert Kreischer]

But. Yeah, but I was like, who is this guy? And then I was like, oh, cool. Well, he's like, this sounds weird, but, like, he's attainable. I can touch him because he's. Did Tom's podcast.

[Marcus King]

No, I know what you mean.

[Bert Kreischer]

And so. And then with Jelly, I knew before he was famous, so I was like, so Jelly's never gonna be. I'll never call him Jason. You know, like, I'm like, you know, like, you know, does that make sense?

[Marcus King]

He should.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Marcus King]

What's up, Jason?

[Bert Kreischer]

But. But Tom is someone I've known. I knew Tom when he was just fat with hot sauce in his back pocket. Yeah. But then he also is this Tom that I have to try to wrap my head around. Who. He has a podcasting empire. I mean, it's. I think he has the biggest podcasting network right now. I think it's the biggest one out there. He is in production in, like, two movies and another TV show, and he's producing other movies, and then we own a vodka to get. He's outgrown me business wise. I'm just still, you know, a couple podcasts and. And doing some TV and movies, like, he's huge. I forget sometimes that he's my friend. Does that make sense?

[Marcus King]

I know what you mean.

[Bert Kreischer]

Where it's like. And so when he says stuff like that, like, I never. I've never. I'm like, when is anything.

[Marcus King]

He humanizes him a little bit.

[Bert Kreischer]

I forget that he's human.

[Marcus King]

Yeah. The cape comes off.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah. Like, when we talk. Yeah. Like, you know, even just that conversation, like, what. What's ever shaken you, Tom?

[Marcus King]

Right.

[Bert Kreischer]

Who do you think is the most un. Let's go back to. Hold on, let's. Who do you think the most unshakable musician out there is?

[Marcus King]

Unshakable. Probably Chris Robinson, because he's an. And he doesn't care what anybody thinks. And like, part of me sometimes is like, I want that. But then I'm like, no, I don't. Because there's like no empathy connected to it. You know, I think that like, completely unshakability is usually connected to probably some really deep rooted issues that you haven't discovered yourself.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Marcus King]

You know, so I hate to answer the question because it really is just so aligned with just a personality type that I can't stand.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Marcus King]

You know, I want people to be shakable.

[Bert Kreischer]

I. I'm the comics that artists enjoy bad comments. I. The con. I'm not a big fan of their comedy.

[Marcus King]

No.

[Bert Kreischer]

I mean, the ones that are like, I love when they give me bad comments. You're like, yeah, I think you're doing this wrong.

[Marcus King]

Yeah. I don't. Yeah. You can't thrive off of the negativity.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Marcus King]

And people that say that, they do, it's. It's usually a farce. They're usually saying it because, you know, it's like sometimes you can tell people's confidence is really just. Or people's ego is really just a mask for their deep insecurity. And you can't hide that from. From me anyway. I can see somebody's bravado or like confidence. I'm like, this is a fucking mask. It's a shell. You're an insecure little man.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Marcus King]

You know, and I've seen it a lot, especially in the music industry. Boy, you know, musicians aside, like people that work in the industry, there's a lot of short, angry little men with big confidence coats on.

[Bert Kreischer]

Dude, there are guys in our business. I'm not just talking comics in our business that, I mean, they. With you in a way that's so unfair and unhealthy that you think, at least I know he's never going to have a good relationship with a woman because that's who he is.

[Marcus King]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

Like, if you're going to treat me like that, a man, and you're going to try to with my brain, then I know that that's a controlling issue you have and you're taking into your marriage or your relationship with your kids. There was one guy who I approached because he was me over and had his baby with him. And he said, what did you say to me? And I was like, I got to say this. You know, I'm standing up for myself and he gave me his baby. And he goes, I didn't hear that. Say it Again while you're holding my baby. And I looked at his baby and I went, you're. You're. You're. So it would be better if I dropped you on your head right now and you just had a brain damage then. You never had to understand who this person was. Wow. You are so. That's incredible.

[Marcus King]

So that's gonna seep into that baby's subconscious.

[Bert Kreischer]

I think about that moment.

[Marcus King]

That's amazing.

[Bert Kreischer]

And I was just, you know, that also.

[Marcus King]

That's a hardcore, you know, Say that to me while you're holding my baby. That's crazy. I mean, that's insanity.

[Bert Kreischer]

That's insanity. But our business welcomes insanity.

[Marcus King]

It's true. Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

It welcomes. The insane ones get. You know, all of a sudden, the insane ones are like, I was just having a conversation. I was like, I wish I was a little more insane because I feel like would pay more attention to me because I know that works with dot, dot, dot.

[Marcus King]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

And the second out of their fucking mind. And they just want to put out that fire. So they take care of them a ton.

[Marcus King]

Yeah, well, the insane people now, like, the crazy Ragers. Like, I've been out here during Grammy week. Like, none of the artists can really let their hair down. You know, we are all such an image. We can't be out on the streets, you know, at Lil Nas X. And his wasn't drug related, but, like, somebody gonna recognize you, and they're gonna take him. He just had a. He had a mental breakdown, and I hope he's okay. I'm a really big fan of his, but I use that just to say, like, somebody's gonna recognize it. They're gonna see you. But, like, the music industry types, they can get as fucked up as they want with, like, no repercussion, because nobody recognizes them. Nobody says, oh, man, you're the, you know, attorney for umg. That's crazy. You're fucked up right now. Nobody knows that they have complete anonymity, so they get completely housed. And they have all these artists who are, like, playing outlaw. Like, it's a fucking, you know, cops and robbers, but they're, you know, really choir boys, and they're not getting up and they're not doing the shit that they sing about, you know, it's like when I see, like, Morgan Wallen throw a chair off a roof, I'm like, yeah, yeah. You know, you probably shouldn't do that. But, like, that was genuine. He got. I don't know why he did it, but that's awesome. Keith Moon Joe Walsh, Keith Richards. Do you think that they could survive in today's musical climate? They could not. No, because the industry has weeded these types of people out. You know, the. You know the backlash that you get, like, if you're drunk on stage? Like, even for comedians, you know, it's just artistry. You know, you have to be good all the time because you don't have any anonymity.

[Bert Kreischer]

Dude, I got backlash for being drunk on stage in arenas, and I've never been drunk on stage in an arena. They just. Someone just said, that's what I bet he does. And then the interrojet just took off with it. And they're, like, talking about burp. Bert's always hammered in arenas, and I'm like, never? No, you're never. Not once. Not once. I did, actually, this weekend, but not once. Thursday night in Lafayette. I apologize. It was an amazing show. I was a little buzzed, but. But. But I. I did. I did have a drink on stage and drank it before I would normally have started drinking, but. But never. I've never blackout drunk. And, you know, that's what sucks about all of this, is that all these bands we just named are legends with stories that were like. I don't know. It's like, if the Internet was around, there'd be. I'm certain that Roddy Van Zandt at one point got jumped off stage and started a fistfight.

[Marcus King]

Oh, yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

If you did that today, they'd be like, he is Marcus. Marcus King. Crash out.

[Marcus King]

He's problematic, you know? And then you would become an issue in the industry. It's like, Axl Rose jumped off the stage, beat the shit out of some guy. That was awesome. And he did it in, like, compression shorts and a cheetah jacket.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yes. Yes.

[Marcus King]

That was tight.

[Bert Kreischer]

Axl Rose refuses to go on stage and starts a riot in Toronto.

[Marcus King]

I've always said, like, dude, would you want to read an artist's book? If it was like, we all followed the rules, we went to bed on time, we ate our greens. The end.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Marcus King]

What kind of fucking story is that? I want to hear some dirt.

[Bert Kreischer]

But here's the thing, is that, like.

[Marcus King]

And artists don't really have that anymore.

[Bert Kreischer]

You can't. Who's the. Who's. Who's probably the realest out there.

[Marcus King]

The realest?

[Bert Kreischer]

Like, the realest. Like, meaning, like. Like, you just said Morgan Whelan. I don't know Morgan Whelan, but I have a feeling I would really like him. And I. But I have a feeling I'd be Really bad for him. Someone like. I feel like I should never meet him.

[Marcus King]

That's a fair assessment.

[Bert Kreischer]

Like, there's a. There was someone. Someone just said to me the other day, they're like, you know who you'd really get along with? It was Nate Bargazzi. He goes, do you know who you'd really get along with? And I said, who? And he said, justin Timberlake. And I went, oh, fucking love Justin Timberlake. He goes, I'm gonna make sure you guys never meet. And I went, why? And he goes, trust me, he is not. You are not what he needs in his life right now. And I thought that. I took that as a compliment, but I was like, that makes me like Justin Timberlake. Yeah. Makes. Makes me go, oh, I fucking like a dude who. I don't know, but who's like that. Like, who's the, like, real deal?

[Marcus King]

Well, I kind of like people that are real. Like, the way I kind of quantify that is just the people who are themselves on and off the stage.

[Bert Kreischer]

Lainey Wilson seems to me like she is.

[Marcus King]

Oh, my gosh.

[Bert Kreischer]

She's so genuine that she doesn't turn it off.

[Marcus King]

No, she is like that all the time. She's just the sweetest person. And she was like that when she didn't have any money. She's like that now. She's one of my favorite people. Jamie Johnson is super real.

[Bert Kreischer]

Jamie Johnson's on that song with you. Pity. Is that. Which song was the Jamison song called Here Today. Here Today? Yeah.

[Marcus King]

And I wrote that with Laney and my friend Meg McCree.

[Bert Kreischer]

Meg McCrea is on this album?

[Marcus King]

Yeah, Meg McCree, she wrote with me on the record. And Jamie Johnson and Kaitlyn Butts sang the song with me on the record. And those are two very real artists. Jesse Wells is on the record. He's very. He's very real, you know, And I really. I like what he does.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Marcus King]

Because he's like. He gets compared to Bob Dylan. And then he, like, invites Joan Baez to sing with him. He's like, fuck it. I'm gonna lean into it. You know, it's almost like a trolling bit at that point.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Marcus King]

It's like everybody's comparing me to Bob Dylan. I'm gonna invite Joan Baez to sing with me. Yeah, he's awesome.

[Bert Kreischer]

Jelly's pretty real, like, when it's hot, when it. Like when there's very few guys I know that have a Dab station at a 5K. He's pretty real. He's. Yeah, he's Shane Gillis. Is the realest.

[Marcus King]

He's super real.

[Bert Kreischer]

He's, man, I love that guy. He is, he is. There's things people don't know about him that I would never share because I don't think it's what he'd ever want people to know about him. I mean, they're not bad just like, they're just soft boy stuff. Soft boy stuff. And I love it. It makes me love him so much. But when it comes to like, dude, he just wants to have a good time. He just want, I mean, just, he's, he's the fucking epitome of a comic for me. Like the day I met him and I made him do this must have been like 15 years ago. And I made him do fireball shots at like 9 in the morning with me. And he was like, oh, is this what we're doing? You know, it's like, it was like, I gotta call my girlfriend. I was like, what? I was like, I'm dating this girl, her name's Big Tuna. And I was like, really? He goes, she's a big girl. I was like, no shit. And he was like, oh, she plays like rugby or something. I was like, yeah, a guest.

[Marcus King]

Wow.

[Bert Kreischer]

For field hockey. And then I was like, wait, you have a. And then, and then the next day he emailed me. Oh, I hope I have, I don't have this email. I'll get the email. He emailed me. It's so funny because it is who Shane is. Hey, Bert. I thought me and you got along really well yesterday. If you're looking for someone to take on the road with you.

[Marcus King]

Ah, so earnest.

[Bert Kreischer]

It was. But he texts all the time. The sweetest, the nicest things in the world.

[Marcus King]

I, yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

And he's like the epitome of one of the real ones, in my opinion.

[Marcus King]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

And then there's people that aren't people that change their act based on what they feel like the temperature of the community is.

[Marcus King]

You're like, yeah, I, yeah. And I, I, I don't really have time for that. Like, I like to hang out with real people and I think you're one.

[Bert Kreischer]

Of the realest people I know.

[Marcus King]

I try to be, man. I just like to be honest. And I wouldn't say anything about anybody that I wouldn't say to them. You know, I just, and I don't like to talk about people. I just, I like to make my observations and, you know, I don't keep them secret. I just, I just see a lot of things happening and a lot of, lot of Weird happening right now.

[Bert Kreischer]

You should do. You should do like a Chris Gaines album.

[Marcus King]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah. Where you. Where you just write it for the Tik Tok. Yeah, Just write the TikTok album.

[Marcus King]

Did.

[Bert Kreischer]

And just. Because, I mean, it's not a bad idea. And just. And. But don't release it under Marcus King.

[Marcus King]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

Release it under Chris Gaines and just.

[Marcus King]

I just use that name again.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah. Actually write it under Bert Kreischer. And then I'll say I released an album. People will mock it, but it'll be so catchy. They'll be like, these are all the trends.

[Marcus King]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

And then it'll go fucking viral, dude.

[Marcus King]

How funny would that be if I, like, went under a false name, but it's obviously just me singing. Like, they love to see a white boy singing in a field. Those videos go crazy viral. Like acoustic guitar woods. They love it. So I just go and do a bunch of those just singing in the woods. You know, I'm gonna do it.

[Bert Kreischer]

I was gonna take. So, like, I'm really. I mean, I'm gonna pause my. My applauding myself. No, I'm working. Okay. I'm really good at, like, seeing the thing that's sexy that people don't know is sexy. Like the white boy playing in the woods and is fucking. So it's like, especially like that early Oliver Anthony shit where it's like. And he's singing about oppression and.

[Marcus King]

And.

[Bert Kreischer]

But white oppression and the Internet. I love.

[Marcus King]

I love Oliver Anthony, but, like, you shouldn't use a capo on a Dobro. That's my hot take. I love him, though.

[Bert Kreischer]

So wait, but I. I saw that and I went, wow, that's like that. Marketing wise, that's just brilliant. You know, maybe there's a part of me that should never have gotten in front of the mic. I should have stood behind stage and worked with talent. I think that part of me still may come out in the next 15 years. I don't know. My wife thinks she wants to start a fucking management company. But. But. But I am doing an OnlyFans model for us. And I had ideas that I was taking to create a backstory for the woman. We got to make her more desirable to the guys that are going to support her only fans. And as I was doing it, I was doing it the same way you look at, like those TikTok where you go, that's exhausting. And then I go, oh, there's tricks that are out there.

[Marcus King]

There are.

[Bert Kreischer]

That I see them use. And I go, I'm. I've Got a game plan for this. And I called Tommy and I told him about it, and he was like, this is, like, borderline manic lunatic ravings and mad scientist. He was like, if you pull this off, it would break the Internet. And I was like, I wanted. I really want to try it. But I always. I always think that there's a way. It's like I'd watched my. Started by playing silly songs on guitar. Like, my big claim to fame is I do impressions of different artists playing different songs. So I do the lead singer for the B52s doing Jane says. Jane says, you know, like, and. And then I'd. And then I'd write funny songs about always to John Cougar or John Mellencamp because it was easy for me to wrap my head around. So when people started doing guitar music, I was like, oh, I'm gonna jump into that real quick. And the second I did, I was like, this isn't what I want to do. Yeah, this isn't what I want to be. Wait, let's go back to our top five so we can. We can round out here. And then, guys, if you're interested, we're gonna do a birdcast today. Can go over and listen to the birdcast. But now we got our. It's got to be Leonard Skynyrd. It's got to be Sweet home Alabama.

[Marcus King]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

Okay. Marshall Talker Band.

[Marcus King]

Can't you see?

[Bert Kreischer]

Can't you see?

[Marcus King]

That's the one.

[Bert Kreischer]

You've been playing with them, haven't you?

[Marcus King]

I've been working with the original drummer. Okay, so what happened with that group was Tommy Caldwell, he was kind of the. The band's leader, the bass player.

[Bert Kreischer]

He.

[Marcus King]

He died in 1980 in a. In a car accident. And after he died, you know, the creative force in the band just kind of. It just wasn't one. So in 1983, when Paul Riddle quit, the band just kind of fell apart. Doug Gray kind of bought the rights to the. To the band's name, because there's not a real Marshall Tucker in the band. So he bought the rights to the name. The Marshall Tucker was like. That was the name on the lease for their rehearsal place. That's how they got the name. So what we're trying to do now is, like, rebuild the legacy of the Caldwell brothers and me and Charlie Star from BlackBerry Smoke, Otil Burbridge from Dead and Company Oteal Burbidge.

[Bert Kreischer]

O' Tool's a bad motherfucker.

[Marcus King]

He's so great.

[Bert Kreischer]

He's a bad motherfucker he plays bass for the Dead. Everyone. This. Yeah, but he's a bad motherfucker. And he's got a podcast, if I'm not mistaken. He's got a podcast with.

[Marcus King]

He does. Yeah, you're right.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah, keep going.

[Marcus King]

Yeah, but yeah, he's in the group and we're just. We're playing Marshall Tucker Band music, and it's called Toy Factory, which was the original name for Marshall Tucker Band before they named it Marshall Tucker, man.

[Bert Kreischer]

So, okay, so it's Kansas City by Marshall Tucker Band. And then. And then what was. What was the other band we named?

[Marcus King]

We named it Black Crows.

[Bert Kreischer]

Black Crows.

[Marcus King]

I mean, Remedies. One of the greatest songs of all time. Sometimes Salvation would probably be my favorite Black Crow song.

[Bert Kreischer]

She Talks to Angels was. Was the one that's probably there. You know, that was the one that was like their entry into the universe. I remember when that came out.

[Marcus King]

I mean, yeah, they blew up.

[Bert Kreischer]

Like, Remedy is probably the. Okay, let's go Remedy. And then what were the other bands? We named two other bands. One was BlackBerry Smoke.

[Marcus King]

Feel a good one coming on. I'm gonna name that one just because my wife and I's friend Courtney Coble, who's one of the most hilarious people ever, she's a massive BlackBerry Smoke fan and she met Charlie at our wedding and she's like, I feel a good one coming on. And Charlie, like, didn't react at all. And I just thought it was the funniest situation of all time. So I text her that all the time. But that's a great song. But they got so many good ones.

[Bert Kreischer]

Did you have a line in this album that said, living life in the mirrors or in the rearview mirrors?

[Marcus King]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

It hit me so hard today. It overwhelmed me. It overwhelmed me. And I. And I was like, I wonder sometimes if you put song lyrics in and then we interpret them in such a deeper. Because I just thought. I thought you can't really drive if you're looking at your mirrors.

[Marcus King]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

Like you don't know where you're going. And I was like, oh. And then I was like. And cocaine.

[Marcus King]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

That's a crazy mirror to look into.

[Marcus King]

Yeah, it is. It's pretty jarring.

[Bert Kreischer]

It's a different guy. It's a different guy. The lean down is like. Is. Is who you are. That is who you are. Yeah. You've never had a more down to earth moment with yourself than staring at yourself in that mirror about to do coke.

[Marcus King]

It's pretty honest.

[Bert Kreischer]

And then. But the come up is like a brand. It's like, it's like who you want to be. You're like, oh, this is the man. I could rip a tree out of the ground, but I'm not going to because I'm smart enough to know that everyone will know I'm on cocoa.

[Marcus King]

I do. Yeah, it's.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah. And then what was the last we. We had Leonard Skinner, Marshall Tucker Band, Black Crows, and then we named one more brothers. Yeah.

[Marcus King]

Allman Brothers, man. I'd say Rambling man is probably. That was their first number one. Dickey Betts wrote it and it was post. It was like their first number one hit after. After Dwayne passed and Dickie really had to step into that leadership role in the group because Dwayne was the leader of the group and he passed away on a motorcycle accident in 71. And yeah, rambling man, if I'm not mistaken, I. I think they might have cut that at Criteria in Miami, but brothers and sisters, they cut at Capricorn. It's unimportant to the story, but you.

[Bert Kreischer]

Really are a little bit of a Melissa.

[Marcus King]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

Was it Melissa? It's like there's. There's this chick Melissa in high college, had huge tits.

[Marcus King]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

I learned that song and I was like, I'm gonna. In my head, I was like, she's never heard this song. Yeah, I'm gonna play this song. She's gonna think I wrote it about her.

[Marcus King]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

And I'm gonna get both of those tits tonight.

[Marcus King]

Nice.

[Bert Kreischer]

And she came into my. Into my room at ato and I was like, here's the time. Lit a cigarette, put it on my string. So it was wiggling, you know, it's really artsy. And I started playing Melissa and she goes, oh, the fucking Allman Brothers. And God. But left and went off. Oh, no.

[Marcus King]

Damn.

[Bert Kreischer]

I hooked up with her sister as you do. Yeah.

[Marcus King]

I used to see a girl named Melissa and I did the same thing.

[Bert Kreischer]

For real?

[Marcus King]

Yeah. Yes, sir.

[Bert Kreischer]

Will you write a song called Leanne and then I'll give you the lyrics.

[Marcus King]

Yeah.

[Bert Kreischer]

And it's like, it's called oh, Leanne, but it's not oh, Leanne, it's ugh, Leanne. Right now. As a comic, one of the things I'm working on is getting all her laughs. So she's got like three different laughs or four different. I'm getting down to five, but. So, like, all I'm doing is trying to make her laugh so I can learn all her laughs and then do them to my daughters. Cuz my daughters. I did one to my daughters. The. And my daughters are like, is that Mom's laugh? And I was like, yeah, it's Mom's laugh. And they're like, shut up. Do another one. And I was like, I'm working on them. That's so, so weird. My job is so different than yours, but it's also this playful world.

[Marcus King]

Yeah. You gotta be. Yeah. Receptive.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah. Yeah. What do you think people will say about us when we're gone? You first want me. Do you want me to eulogize you or you want me to eulogize me?

[Marcus King]

I think you'd be good at utilizing eulogizing yourself.

[Bert Kreischer]

I should do my own eulogy.

[Marcus King]

You should pre. Pre tape it.

[Bert Kreischer]

Oh, that's brilliant.

[Marcus King]

Great idea.

[Bert Kreischer]

I'll do it right now. Okay. All right.

[Marcus King]

Here we go.

[Bert Kreischer]

Please play this at my funeral. I would like to thank everyone who came and curse everyone who didn't. Bert Kreischer, myself was a great man. He was better than you think. But this is not going to go well. I'm already like, dude, I'm fucking angry that people didn't show up at my wedding or my funeral. I want to know who I outlived. Look to your left. Look. You're right. Is Tom there? God damn it. No. I think all you need to know about Bert Kreischer is he tried so hard to make you happy. That's all you need to know. His only goal in life was to make you happy. And. He's going to miss this life so much. God, man, I'm going to miss life so much. I'm so bummed that I don't think I die because it hadn't happened yet, you know? But, like, I kind of think, like, fuck, I'm going to miss it so much. I kind of wish. Like. I don't mean I don't wish. I told Tom this one time, but I was like, if I had a button that could end the whole world, I'd press it as I died and be like, no one gets to live, Tink. And he goes, I can't believe you just said that out loud. I said, you wouldn't do that. He goes, no, I wouldn't do that. I want my kids to fucking have kids. I was like, I want mine to die with me. I would never want to die with me. I don't want anyone to get. No one gets to live if I.

[Marcus King]

Don'T get to live.

[Bert Kreischer]

If I get to live, everyone's going to die. Oh. What?

[Marcus King]

Oh, man.

[Bert Kreischer]

What would you say about Marcus King?

[Marcus King]

I mean, honestly, you Said it. I love that. I love that sentiment. You know, I was. You know, it resonates with me because all I really want to do is make you happy.

[Bert Kreischer]

All you. I'm telling you when I. I'll tell you about you as a fan of you, for all three of your seven albums. How did I get so late to the game? The first one I got was 2020, and then 2022, and then the one that had Delilah on it.

[Marcus King]

It is. I mean, to be fair, it is kind of confusing because I put out three solo albums because I thought it would make sense because my band wasn't on them, you know.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah.

[Marcus King]

And I got. Yeah. So, like Youngblood, El Dorado. Eldorado was the first solo album. I got a Grammy nomination for that one. And then Youngblood was the next one. And like Youngblood, I was so fucked up making that record. Like, I'm so surprised that it even got made. But there's a beauty to it, though, because I kind of just leaned into what I was comfortable with. And then Mood Swings was the next.

[Bert Kreischer]

Yeah, I got. I got El Dorado, Youngblood, Mood Swings, and Darling Blue. That's ones I have.

[Marcus King]

We gotta update that album artwork on there on Google.

[Bert Kreischer]

But I'll tell you your music for anyone who doesn't know, and I guess this could be played at your. Your funeral. You have lived your life out loud, opened up and shared all your scars and your pain and your joys and your questions and your loves and your fears through music with possibly the biggest gift we've gotten in the music world, which is you as an artist. And you've done them selflessly for people to hopefully people share in them. And from someone who struggles with almost every one of your vices and any of your insecurities, I thank you. Because your music, I can listen to it on a plane and throw on some sunglasses and cry and feel it. And your voice is just like, so, so, so warming. It's like. It's like. It's like your voice is like when it's a cloudy day at the beach, but that there's one hole in the cloud. And then sun shoots down on the ocean and you watch that sun creep to you as the clouds move and that hole stays there. That's your voice. Your voice is like a ray of sunshine.

[Marcus King]

Thanks, man.

[Bert Kreischer]

I love you to death, man. Love you, brother. Burton. Tom. Tom and Burt. One goes topless while the other wears a shirt. Tom tells stories and Burts the machine. There's not a chance in hell that.

[Marcus King]

They'Ll keep it clean.

[Bert Kreischer]

Here's what we call two bears, one cave.