Podcast Summary: "Tom and Bert Made Their Dads FURIOUS" | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

Released on September 23, 2024 by YMH Studios

In this episode of "2 Bears, 1 Cave" hosted by best friends and comedians Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer, the duo delves deep into personal anecdotes, reflections on their relationships with their fathers, parenting challenges, and the humorous chaos that ensues from their daily lives. Skipping over the commercial breaks, the conversation remains candid, heartfelt, and laced with their signature humor.

1. Opening Banter and Tour Updates (00:00 - 00:30)

The episode kicks off with Bert excitedly sharing his upcoming tour locations in Cleveland, Buffalo, and Toronto. Tom humorously questions the constant promotion of tour dates on their podcast, leading to playful banter about the importance of balancing content and promotion.

Notable Quote:

• Tom Segura [00:23]: “What's the point of having a podcast? We're not promoting our fucking tour dates.”

2. Comedy Specials and Creative Integrity (00:30 - 05:00)

The conversation shifts to discussing the landscape of comedy specials, with Tom mentioning Ali Wong’s new special, "Single Lady." They explore the challenges of maintaining originality, with Tom emphasizing his commitment to avoiding joke duplication by extensively watching other comedians' work.

Notable Quote:

• Tom Segura [01:07]: “I always had the thing. Whenever I saw someone doing a joke similar to me, I just bailed on it and I was like, I gotta write better.”

3. Health Concerns and Body Image (05:00 - 07:58)

Tom opens up about his aversion to undergoing surgery, fearing scars that might detract from his stand-up persona—where he often performs shirtless. The discussion delves into societal pressures on body image, especially in the comedy and entertainment industries.

Notable Quote:

• Tom Segura [02:06]: “I don't want scar because you... it's always weird when you see, like, an older dude with his shirt off and he's got tattoos.”

4. Reflecting on Relationships with Fathers and College Memories (07:58 - 15:43)

Tom and Bert share poignant stories from their college days, highlighting the differing ways their fathers interacted with them. Tom recounts emotional moments, such as a heated argument over a calling card bill and the lack of supportive gestures during his struggles, painting a vivid picture of their upbringing.

Notable Quote:

• Tom Segura [12:34]: “I remember one time my dad and I got into a fight. He was like, don't you fucking cry. Don't you fucking suck those goddamn tears back up.”

5. Parenting Challenges and Maintaining the Childlike Spirit (43:05 - 68:00)

Post-commercials, the conversation transitions to parenting. Tom shares heartfelt stories about his daughters, Isla and Georgia, emphasizing the importance of nurturing their playful and authentic selves. They discuss the difficulties of balancing parental authority with fostering a sense of joy and curiosity in their children.

Notable Quotes:

• Bert Kreischer [28:25]: “I think you encourage it and you embrace it and you just let them know that you love it when they are the way they are.”

• Tom Segura [47:32]: “It's important to you. It's important to me.”

6. Personal Struggles with Diet and Self-Image (15:43 - 43:05 & 43:05 - 68:00)

Tom candidly discusses his battles with dieting, self-image, and the mental toll of maintaining a strict regimen. The conversation touches on themes of self-criticism, the impact of alcohol consumption on his health goals, and the complex relationship between food, body image, and mental health.

Notable Quotes:

• Tom Segura [62:50]: “I talk to myself like, I fucking hate me sometimes. Especially if I was drinking the night before.”

• Bert Kreischer [60:46]: “I think it's time for a little reset. Maybe a little, you know.”

7. Interactions with Magician and Family Dynamics (26:43 - 43:05)

Tom and Bert recount a hilarious encounter with a magician during a bar takeover in Las Vegas. The interaction becomes a focal point for discussing skepticism versus belief, especially from Tom's partner, Leanne, who challenges the authenticity of the magician's illusions. This segment highlights the dynamic interplay between their personal lives and professional antics.

Notable Quote:

• Tom Segura [38:23]: “We didn't think he was actually magically. Did you think we were a bunch of peasants?”

Conclusion: "Tom and Bert Made Their Dads FURIOUS" offers listeners an intimate glimpse into the personal lives of two of comedy's beloved figures. Through a blend of humor, vulnerability, and storytelling, Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer explore themes of familial relationships, parenting, self-image, and the relentless pursuit of personal growth amidst the chaos of life on the road. This episode serves as a testament to their enduring friendship and their ability to find laughter and meaning in both the mundane and the profound.

Note: Advertisements and commercial segments within the transcript were omitted to focus solely on the conversational content between Tom and Bert.