The Hand in the Window: 'The Other Me'

Podcast: 20/20
Host: ABC News (Debra Roberts, John Quinones)
Episode Date: December 3, 2025

Episode Overview

This episode delves into the chilling duplicity of serial killer Sean Grate, focusing on the duality of his personality—his charming exterior versus the violent reality within. Through firsthand accounts from former partners, friends, and investigating detectives, the episode unpacks how Grate manipulated those around him, concealed his darkness, and ultimately confessed to his crimes. The narrative explores the trauma left in his wake and the investigative process that led detectives to confront the “other” Sean Grate.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Sean Grate’s Public Persona vs. Reality

• Ashland County Shock: Grate's arrest shattered the community’s sense of safety, having only lived there two months before being apprehended for kidnapping, rape, and murder. (01:26)
• “Ted Bundy Parallels”: Like Bundy, Grate’s charm and good looks served as tools for manipulation. His own mother acknowledged his looks, saying, "Yes, he's good looking, but the devil's good looking too." (02:20)

Christina Hildreth’s Story: From Charm to Terror

• Initial Attraction: Christina, who met Grate over a decade before, was struck by his “magnifying” blue eyes and charismatic attention. (04:20)
• Living Together: The relationship soured after he unofficially moved in; Grate refused to get a job, was mean to her children, and took over her home with his “wooden signs.” (05:28-06:31)
• Escalation of Violence: After an argument, he assaulted her—breaking her finger and attempting to drag her to the bathroom as she feared for her life. Her account:

  “He started hitting and choking her… I'm like, look what you did to me." (07:29)

• Surveillance and Intrusion: After she left, Grate hid in her house, literally living inside her couch to spy on her.

  “He says, I've been living in the couch. He said, when you came in, you were sitting on me.” (09:41)

• Aftermath: Christina still suffers emotionally years later, unable to trust others:

  “He started out absolutely charming, wonderful, and then little by little… he just turned more evil... there's nothing honestly nice about Shawn... he's completely evil.” (11:46)

Other Relationships: Patterns of Manipulation & Violence

• After Prison: Post-release, Grate married, fathered a daughter, and soon after was subject to a protection order due to threats against his ex-wife and her family. (12:27)
• “The Other Me”: Tim Dennis, a onetime friend, recalled Grate’s charm soured when denied a loan:

  “He just went on and on… And then he makes this statement. He says, ‘Meet the other me.’ Honestly, I just froze...” (14:30)

• Dissociation or Duality? Tim tries to rationalize Grate’s actions:

  “There's two persons living inside of him, and that's the only way that I'm ever able… to reconcile the two.” (15:24)

Detective Interviews and Confessions

Interrogation Details

• Detectives’ Approach: Detectives Kim Major and Brian Evans worked to draw out Grate’s confessions by building rapport and leveraging his desire to “get things off his chest.” (20:24)
• Cold Case Confession: Grate detailed the murder of a magazine salesperson named “Dana” in 2005 or 2006:

  “I was just feeling enraged… So that's when I fronted her… pulled her… strangled her until she passed out… I panicked… grabbed a knife, stabbed her in the neck.” (22:24-23:20)

• Details Only the Killer Would Know: Grate described burning Dana’s remains months after the murder to eliminate evidence. (24:04)
• Detective Major’s Insight: She frequently felt there was more Grate wasn’t admitting—questioning the full extent of his crimes. (34:11)

Motive and Methodology

• Opportunistic Violence: When asked about his selection criteria, Grate responded:

  “I keep my mind open. Whoever comes first. Whoever comes first. Okay, so it’s opportunistic.” (25:08)

• Lack of Motive: Grate repeatedly claimed he did not know why he killed and asked the detectives for an explanation:

  “Why did I do this? Tell me why you think I did this.” (25:48)

• Community Context: He speculated the tranquil atmosphere of Ashland may have influenced him, but stopped short of blaming others. (26:09)

Describing and Demonstrating Strangulation

• Chilling Demonstration: Grate offered to demonstrate his strangulation technique—insisting on using Detective Evans rather than a doll:

  “I was thinking I'd do a straight on you. That's what you want to do?” (28:44)

• Detective Evans’ Risk: The demonstration was eerily expert; Evans later told Major, “I'll never do this again.” (31:32)
• Detail-Oriented: Grate’s motions and description were so practiced they convinced detectives of his fatal experience:

  “His motions were so fluid…the way he uses strangulation in cases that we have been discussing.” (30:27-32:18)

Final Interrogation Insights

• Possible Undisclosed Crimes: Grate reluctantly admitted the large gap between his first and known killings, saying, “If I give her that other one, I'm going to get accused of a thousand things that I didn't do… I'm not that cold.” (33:25)
• Detective Major’s Ongoing Suspicion:

  “At this point, you realize he's been killing for years. Do you ask yourself, how deep does this go?” (34:11)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Sean’s Mother (on charm):

  “Yes, he's good looking, but the devil's good looking too.” (02:20)

• Christina Hildreth (on Grate’s personality shift):

  “He started out absolutely charming, wonderful, and then little by little, he just turned more evil… All in all, there’s nothing nice there. He’s completely evil.” (11:46)

• Tim Dennis (on Grate’s threats after a loan refusal):

  “You just rot and die with your money... Meet the other me.” (14:15)

• Kim Major (on interrogation risk):

  “You could have lost consciousness in seconds. He could have killed you.” (29:33)

• Detective Evans (after demonstration):

  “I'll never do this again.” (31:32)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 01:11 – Prosecutor reassures Ashland after Grate’s arrest
• 04:02-05:45 – Christina Hildreth recounts meeting and relationship with Grate
• 07:29 – Christina details violent attack & escape
• 09:41 – Discovery Grate was hiding in the couch to spy
• 13:08 – Tim Dennis describes friendship and glimpse of “the other me”
• 20:24 – Detectives begin jailhouse interrogation of Grate
• 22:24 – Grate’s confession of cold-case murder (“Dana”)
• 28:09 – Grate demonstrates strangulation technique on detective
• 33:25 – Discussion of potential other victims and Grate’s denial

Conclusion

'The Other Me' exposes the sinister divide between Sean Grate’s public persona and the monster beneath. The episode highlights how his disarming charm facilitated his violence and left lasting trauma for survivors and investigators alike. Despite his confessions, both his friends and the detectives involved never quite reconcile the “two people” inside him, and the lingering question remains: How many secrets did Sean Grate really keep?