Podcast Summary: "The Business Case for Good Manners with Etiquette Coach William Hanson"

Podcast Information:

• Title: A Bit of Optimism
• Host: Simon Sinek
• Guest: William Hanson, Etiquette Coach and Executive Director of The English Manor
• Episode: The Business Case for Good Manners with Etiquette Coach William Hanson
• Release Date: July 15, 2025

Introduction

In this insightful episode of A Bit of Optimism, host Simon Sinek engages in a compelling conversation with William Hanson, a renowned etiquette coach from England and the executive director of The English Manor. William delves into the significance of good manners in both personal and professional realms, challenging common misconceptions and highlighting the evolving nature of etiquette in modern society.

The Role of Good Manners in Modern Society

William Hanson emphasizes that good manners are not merely about appearing polite or upper-class. Instead, they play a crucial role in making others feel valued and respected. He asserts, "Good manners are about putting other people first before you. It's very selfless and I think it's an excellent habit to get into." (08:00)

Hanson challenges the outdated notion that etiquette is associated solely with rigidity and formality. He clarifies that true etiquette fosters inclusivity and empathy, ensuring that interactions are pleasant and considerate.

Common Etiquette Mistakes and Corrections

The discussion highlights several common mistakes people make regarding manners and etiquette:

1. Competitive Storytelling:

   • Issue: People often feel the need to match or outdo others' stories, leading to competitive and insecure interactions.
   • Solution: Hanson advises focusing on the other person by asking follow-up questions instead of trying to one-up their experiences. "Ask a follow-up question. So focus on also, I mean, I don't love talking about myself. I like finding out about other people." (26:55)

2. Using Please and Thank You:

   • Issue: Neglecting basic courtesies can make interactions seem impolite.
   • Solution: Incorporating simple phrases like "please" and "thank you" can significantly enhance how others perceive you. "Please and thank yous taken." (26:23)

3. Public Phone Etiquette:

   • Issue: Loud phone conversations on speakerphone in public places can be disruptive.
   • Solution: Hanson suggests politely asking individuals to silence their devices or use quieter modes. For example, "Could you please silence your smartwatch because it's making a noise every time you get a text." (33:32)

4. Incorrect Table Manners:

   • Issue: Misusing cutlery or exhibiting poor eating habits can create awkward dining experiences.
   • Solution: Adhering to proper table manners, such as the correct use of knives and forks, or adjusting etiquette based on the cuisine being served. "Peas are not a formal vegetable. So you are not going to eat peas at a state banquet." (45:11)

The Evolution of Manners and Etiquette

Hanson explores how manners have evolved over time and across cultures. He points out that etiquette is not static; it adapts to societal changes and cultural differences.

• Cultural Adaptation: With the globalization of cuisine, traditional Western dining etiquette doesn’t always apply to diverse dishes like ramen or chicken tikka masala. "We're eating so many more different types of cuisine now. You can't transpose our sort of quite stiff dining etiquette for Western/British food onto ramen." (15:32)

• Impact of Significant Events: Historical events, such as World War II and the COVID-19 pandemic, have influenced social etiquette by breaking down class structures and altering personal interactions. "Covid was interesting from an etiquette point of view... We've reassessed who we are greeting and how we were greeting them." (20:47)

• Generational Shifts: While older generations might perceive younger ones as ruder, Hanson expresses optimism about Gen Z's awareness and consideration in social interactions. "The Gen Z who come up to me and say hello on the street are so lovely compared to the slightly more entitled millennials." (11:58)

Practical Tips for Practicing Good Manners

Hanson provides actionable advice for enhancing one's etiquette in various settings:

1. Be Curious and Listen:

   • Focus on the other person by asking open-ended questions and showing genuine interest in their stories.
   • "Be the journalist, be curious." (26:23)

2. Adapt to the Context:

   • Modify your etiquette based on the environment and cultural context. For instance, dining etiquette may vary with different cuisines.
   • "Etiquette has got to evolve and adapt and reflect the society that is around us." (13:04)

3. Control Your Responses:

   • When addressing rude behavior, approach the situation politely and with a smile to avoid offense.
   • "Could you please put your seat back until I've finished the meal service, please?" (36:11)

4. Avoid Overstating Familiarity:

   • Earn familiarity through gradual interaction rather than assuming closeness too quickly.
   • "We earn familiarity and it's a dance." (51:26)

5. Use Manners to Alleviate Awkwardness:

   • Employ humor and self-mockery to defuse tense situations and make others feel comfortable.
   • "Find the funny. Let me think that it's a miraculous feat." (50:12)

Insights and Conclusions

The conversation underscores that good manners and etiquette are essential tools for effective communication and relationship-building. William Hanson articulates that ethics and manners are fundamental to creating environments where individuals feel respected and valued.

• Manners as a Reflection of Selflessness: Good manners demonstrate an awareness that one is not the center of the universe, fostering mutual respect.

• Etiquette as Adaptable and Inclusive: Rather than being restrictive, modern etiquette adapts to diverse cultures and societal changes, making it more inclusive.

• Practical Implementation Enhances Professional Presence: Small, considerate actions like using "please" and "thank you," or proper table manners, can significantly impact how others perceive you in professional settings.

Hanson concludes that by embracing and practicing good manners, individuals can cultivate more meaningful and respectful interactions, ultimately contributing to personal growth and positive societal change.

Notable Quotes:

• William Hanson: "Good manners are about putting other people first before you. It's very selfless and I think it's an excellent habit to get into." (08:00)

• William Hanson: "Ask a follow-up question. So focus on also, I mean, I don't love talking about myself. I like finding out about other people." (26:55)

• William Hanson: "Etiquette has got to evolve and adapt and reflect the society that is around us." (13:04)

• William Hanson: "Be the journalist, be curious." (26:23)

• William Hanson: "Find the funny. Let me think that it's a miraculous feat." (50:12)

This episode serves as a valuable guide for anyone looking to enhance their interpersonal skills through the practice of good manners and etiquette. By shifting the focus from oneself to others, individuals can foster more meaningful and respectful relationships both personally and professionally.