A Place of Yes | A Grief Podcast

Episode: Brotherhood, Loss, and Giving Back in the Grief Community
Date: October 22, 2025
Host: Heather Straughter (Jake’s Help From Heaven)
Guest: Austin Wolfe

Episode Overview

This episode presents a deeply personal and raw conversation about sibling loss, grief, and the meaning of giving back to the grief community. Heather Straughter invites Austin Wolfe to share the story of his brother Devin, the impact of his sudden loss, and Austin’s journey toward healing by volunteering at Experience Camps for grieving children. Together, they explore the complexities of grief, family roles, the importance of remembrance, and the hope found in merging pain with purpose.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Saying "Yes" in Grief: Opening to New Experiences

• [01:00] Austin reflects on taking a chance and saying yes to volunteer work related to grief, despite his initial hesitation:

  "Saying yes to being involved in... volunteer work within grief was... something really amazing."

• Heather highlights the difficulty and significance of finding something positive after loss.

2. Remembering Devin: The Life and Loss of a Brother

• [02:04] Austin describes his relationship with Devin, their closeness, Devin’s humor and compassion:

  "He was just really funny, really loving, really caring... he was one of a kind, truly."

• The authentic details—the dry wit, quick jokes, and little sibling jabs—are what Austin misses most.

  "You miss the big things, but it's really those smaller little things... quick little phone call or... him giving me a hard time..." [05:03]

3. The Moment of Loss: Experiencing and Replaying Trauma

• [06:43] Austin recounts being on the phone with Devin during the accident that took his brother’s life; the helpless aftermath, frantic calls, and the reality of the loss.

  "I just got that weird, weird, sick feeling in my stomach, like something truly terrible had happened." [07:51]
  "My mom just was like, ‘Hey, you need to come home. Devin is dead.’" [10:39]

• Heather and Austin discuss the tendency to mentally revisit the moment of loss, sometimes as a form of connection, sometimes seeking answers or solace.

  "It’s not healing, but... it was my life with him still... my last moment with my kid." – Heather [13:39]

4. Immediate Aftermath: Seeking Support & The Chaos of Grief

• Austin describes the shock, the comfort of community, and the numbing tasks that follow:

  "Within 30 minutes to an hour, I had... 15, 20 people at my place sitting with me, consoling me, bringing me food, just being present..." [19:53]

• The surreal and repetitive pain of informing others, the haunting logistics (flights, packing, funerals), and the robot-like movement through necessary steps.

5. The Loneliness After the Crowd Disperses

• [24:53] The unique "twilight zone" period after the chaos, when support fades and reality sets in.

  "The world does not stop... I so wish I could have hit a pause button and just sat with myself in some moments..."

• Austin’s role as the "last remaining son," feeling responsible for supporting his parents, especially his devastated father.

6. Sibling Loss: The Overlooked Grief

• [28:23] Discussion of "invisible" sibling grief—how attention often centers on the grieving parents.

  "Absolutely, it's like a weight... as the oldest son, I need to step up and be there for my parents..."

• Heather holds space for the complexity:

  "I used to think there was a hierarchy of loss and I was at the top... I know now that’s not true." [32:58]

• The importance of checking in with siblings and keeping the conversation centered on the lost loved one.

7. Connection and Signs: Maintaining a Bond

• [37:55] Austin shares stories of feeling Devin’s presence—recurring bee stings among family, sensing him during quiet moments, and carrying his brother’s ashes on his travels.

  "I truly do feel his presence when I really need it most—they make themselves present." [40:21]

• Heather relates to the power and comfort of such signs, reinforcing their ongoing place in her own life.

8. Giving Back: Volunteering at Experience Camps

• [43:35] Austin’s decision to volunteer with Experience Camps for grieving children emerges as both challenging and healing:

  "Community is such a big thing in grief... It's a nice reminder knowing that, like, you're not on this journey alone."
  "It's the best week ever... For not just the adults but the kids too. It's a beautiful, beautiful program."

• The camp’s model: alternates between heart-wrenching clinical sessions and joyous camp activities, teaching that grief and laughter can coexist.
• Austin is dedicated to making this work central to his future.

9. Living for Your Person: Creating a New Portrait of Life

• [50:25] Austin shares a powerful metaphor that defines his approach to moving forward:

  "You have your portrait of life, and when you lose your person you end up painting... a black hole... But you get to build moments of color... at the end, you still painted a really beautiful portrait of life."

• Heather closes by quoting Austin from the pre-show survey:

  "Living the best life I can because my person can't. Each day I do something that would make them proud."

• Austin affirms:

  "Life is a gift... Our people would want us to... do whatever we can that makes us the best lives and living them for them." [53:38]

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "I truly looked up to my brother... You know, for a younger brother, he had it a little bit more together than me." – Austin [02:04]
• "That's what I kind of miss the most, is him giving me a hard time, cracking jokes... it's interesting." – Austin [05:28]
• "My mom just was like, ‘Hey, you need to come home. Devin is dead.’" – Austin [10:39]
• "Did you think I forgot?... You're not going to all of a sudden make me remember that my child's dead." – Heather [37:06]
• "Life doesn’t stop...and that's the worst part." – Austin [24:53]
• "Sometimes I just want someone to ask, 'How are you, Austin?' not just ‘How are your parents doing?’" – Austin [34:35]
• "It’s the best week ever... helping the kids, and the kids helping me at the same time." – Austin [46:22]
• "You get to build moments of color and these beautiful moments... even though there's this big black hole." – Austin [50:25]
• "Living the best life I can because my person can't. Each day I do something that would make them proud." – Austin [quote at 53:38]
• "You'll never walk alone. You'll always have people that can support you. You have a community." – Austin [54:51]

Timestamps for Important Segments

• [01:00] – Austin discusses saying "yes" to volunteer work and its significance in his grief journey
• [02:04] – Remembering Devin: Austin’s relationship and memories
• [06:43] – The phone call: Austin recounts his brother’s accident and aftermath
• [11:55] – Replaying the traumatic moment, finding solace or connection in it
• [19:53] – Austin’s support system and the realities of shock right after loss
• [24:53] – The loneliness and strangeness after the funeral crowds fade
• [28:23] – The overlooked weight of sibling loss
• [37:55] – Signs, spiritual connection, and carrying brother’s ashes
• [43:35] – Experience Camps, the healing power of helping others in grief
• [50:25] – Painting a new picture of life after grief
• [53:38] – Living for Devin: the thread of purpose and pride

Tone & Language

The episode maintains a raw, honest, emotionally open tone, with both host and guest speaking candidly about pain, resilience, and the messy, nonlinear journey of grief. Humor is woven through the pain, and moments of hope and wisdom surface naturally amid the heaviness. The language is casual yet reflective, with storytelling at its core.

Summary Takeaways

• Grief is nonlinear—the minute details and quirks of loved ones matter most.
• Sibling loss deserves recognition and explicit support.
• Remembering and talking about lost loved ones is healing—not uncomfortable.
• Communities like Experience Camps provide essential healing for both grievers and helpers.
• Grief can reshape life’s canvas with both color and darkness—both are part of the whole.
• Living well becomes an act of honoring your lost loved one.

For Listeners

If you are navigating grief, this episode affirms you are not alone. You may find comfort in opening yourself to new experiences, building community, and allowing yourself to find joy (and laughter) alongside pain. Remember the siblings, the little remembered stories, and the color your loved one brought into the world—and carry that forward.