A Place of Yes | A Grief Podcast

Episode: Dead Parent Club: A Low-Pressure Space for Big Feelings
Host: Heather Straughter (Jake’s Help From Heaven)
Guest: Jordan Sondler (Illustrator, Author, Co-founder of Dead Parent Club)
Date: October 29, 2025

Overview

In this episode, host Heather Straughter welcomes Jordan Sondler, illustrator, educator, and co-founder of Dead Parent Club—an audio-only online grief community. Together, they dig into the messy reality of grief, the shifting nature of memories, the healing power of art, and the necessity of open, honest community. Jordan shares her deeply personal journey after losing her father at 14, how art became her language for big feelings, and what makes Dead Parent Club a uniquely low-pressure, comforting space for grievers worldwide.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Starting with “Yes”: Recent Moments of Openness

[01:45–03:55]

• Heather and Jordan share recent things they’ve said “yes” to:
  • Heather commits to writing regularly about grief, getting published in Newsweek, Business Insider, and submitting to the Washington Post.
    • “I kind of said yes to myself as a writer.” (A, 02:44)
  • Jordan moves in with her boyfriend after eight years single. Their shared experience with parental loss brings unique understanding:
    • “It feels like a gift. It’s hard. It feels like a gift.” (B, 03:55)

2. Complicated Memories and the Passage of Time

[04:29–10:56]

• Jordan describes her dad: fun, supportive, but an alcoholic—complicated and deeply loved.
• Time makes grief surreal: “It’s now been 20 years…so many memories and feelings… I don’t know if it’s photos or other people’s memories or if I can trust my own memory.” (B, 04:47)
• Discussing difficulty of holding on to memories as years pass; Heather notes the pain of time moving further from their loved ones.
• The challenge and comfort of photos and mementos: can be both joyful and painful reminders.

3. Art as Healing & Connection to Her Father

[11:09–17:15]

• Jordan always gravitated towards art, encouraged by her father and teachers:
  • “It was like speaking another language for me.” (B, 12:29)
• High school art teacher was key support post-loss.
• Creating comics as a way to process grief, notably first comic about her dad's alcoholism.
• The creative process is powerful but can be intensely activating, especially around milestones/reminders like Father’s Day.

4. Naming Hard Feelings Publicly

[17:15–19:59]

• In college, making personal art helped Jordan accept herself and connect to others:
  • “I can name these uncomfortable feelings. I can start kind of processing it through my art.” (B, 18:15)
• Audience validation reduces isolation: “It’s encouraging to know…other people connect.” (B, 18:32)

5. The Isolation and Universality of Grief

[19:59–23:52]

• Despite universal elements, grief feels intensely personal:
  • “It feels really bad. It feels very personal and very isolating. Except for when you hear other people say…the thoughts that are racing through your mind.” (B, 20:40)
• Community spaces like Dead Parent Club reveal how common so many experiences and feelings are, even among strangers.

6. The Dead Parent Club: Origins and Philosophy

[21:03–24:39]

• Founded by Jordan and friend Bridget Beador during the pandemic on Clubhouse, now running monthly for 4.5 years.
• Accessible and low-pressure: audio-only, attend as you wish, speak or just listen.
  • “Because it’s audio only, you can be cooking dinner. You never have to say anything.” (B, 23:52)
• Open definition of “parent”—inclusive of all who feel called.

7. The Surprising Comfort of Grief Groups

[24:40–29:40]

• Jordan admits skepticism due to bad group experiences (diet meetings, ACOA); contrasts with Dead Parent Club’s welcoming, loose structure.
  • “It just feels so healing…it’s remarkable because we’ve all lost parents in different ways…But there’s so much commonality.” (B, 25:26)
• No need to speak; just being present is meaningful. Longevity among members.

8. How the Club Works: Format and “Rules”

[29:41–32:09]

• Introductions include name, age, who was lost, how they passed (if comfortable).
• Discussion flows naturally—whatever’s on people’s minds. No forced agenda.
  • “If you want to talk for an hour, that’s fine. That’s why we’re here.” (B, 36:53)

9. Aloneness, Social Expectations, and the Shifting Grief Landscape

[32:09–40:07]

• The “aren’t you over it yet?” question comes up repeatedly.
• Society often lacks understanding until directly affected by loss; validating, compassionate spaces are essential.
• Heather and Jordan discuss how community presence eases the pressure on relationships where others “don’t get it.”

10. The Cost of Holding Space for Others (as Group Leaders and Creators)

[34:27–36:32]

• Jordan reflects on balancing her own grief with facilitating for others:
  • “I’ve realized over time I don’t get out of the Dead Parent Club grief group what attendees get out of it, but I get something different…a sense of community…” (B, 34:37)
  • She finds therapy and separate outlets meet her personal processing needs.

11. Shifting, Personal Rituals for Connection

[41:45–47:38]

• Jordan’s connection to her dad changes over time—rituals evolve, sometimes waning, sometimes returning.
• Honest reflection on guilt, comparison, and non-linearity of connection (“I used to talk to him all the time…now I feel like the only time I really talk out loud is when I’m at a very low point.”—B, 42:36)
• Shared insight: “You’re trying things on…It’s a lifelong journey…there’s always going to be different seasons to the grief.” (B, 47:07)

12. Spirituality and Signs

[44:08–45:22, 53:32–54:00]

• Discussion of Laura Lynne Jackson’s book on signs; spiritual communication as comfort.
  • “You don’t need a psychic medium to connect with the other side…They’re saying they've been trying to reach you.” (B, 53:32)

13. Jordan’s Book and Wholeness Beyond Grief

[48:19–51:24]

• “Feel It Out” was born from a place of personal emptiness despite career success; sharing feelings through art led to deeper personal and professional alignment.
• Heather references the “three pillars” theory of life balance; both discuss how grief complicates these existing dynamics.

14. Final Reflections and Taking Up Space

[51:24–54:00]

• Heather: “Especially when we share our lives with other Grievers…all of these are like chapters…There’s going to be times when you feel really connected…and other times it feels less. And that’s kind of sometimes sucky…” (A, 46:36)
• Both underscore the power of honest, unfiltered sharing to lessen isolation and foster hope, for themselves and listeners.
• Closing affirmations of mutual gratitude, encouragement, and practical details for reaching Jordan/Socials.

Notable Quotes & Moments

• On being seen:
  “Being able to navigate life on a daily basis with somebody who also feels that and understands it…feels like a gift.” —Jordan (B), 03:55

• About memories and time:
  “So many memories and feelings are…I don’t know if it’s photos or other people’s memories or if I can trust my own memory.” —Jordan (B), 04:47

• On community support:
  “Why do we have to do this alone? …All the feelings are there. All of these same feelings.” —Jordan (B), 20:40

• About the Dead Parent Club:
  “You never have to say anything. We've had people come who are on mute the whole time…You can show up once a year if you want to…” —Jordan (B), 23:52

• About seasons in grief:
  “You’re trying things on…It’s a lifelong journey…There’s always going to be different seasons to the grief.” —Jordan (B), 47:07

• On facilitating groups:
  “I've realized over time I don't get out of the Dead Parent Club grief group what attendees get out of it, but I get something different...” —Jordan (B), 34:37

Important Timestamps

• Introductions & recent “yes” moments: [00:00–03:55]
• Losing her dad & memory trouble: [04:29–10:56]
• Art and healing: [11:09–17:15]
• Making art about grief; community validation: [17:15–19:59]
• Creating Dead Parent Club: [21:03–24:39]
• How the club works (inclusivity; format): [24:40–29:40]
• Managing community & facilitation: [34:27–36:32]
• On rituals, connecting with the deceased: [41:45–47:38]
• Spirituality, signs, recommended books: [44:08–45:22, 53:32–54:00]
• Jordan’s book “Feel It Out” and emotional wholeness: [48:19–51:24]
• Closing reflections, social info, gratitude: [51:24–end]

Resources and Contacts

• Dead Parent Club:

  • Clubhouse app: search “Dead Parent Club Grief Group”
  • Instagram: @jordansondler, @bridgetbeador

• Jordan Sondler’s book:

  • “Feel It Out: The Guide to Getting in Touch With Your Goals, Your Relationships, and Yourself”

• Recommended book:

  • “Signs” by Laura Lynne Jackson

Tone & Vibe

• Warm, honest, and gently humorous; direct about the weight of grief but always leaving space for laughter, weirdness, and hope.
• Both Heather and Jordan validate big feelings, normalize complicated emotions, and champion the healing power of community—however loose, imperfect, or unconventional it may be.

For anyone navigating grief, or supporting someone who is, this episode is a tender, real, and resource-rich space—reminding us all that we’re not alone, even when it feels that way.