← A Place of Yes | A Grief Podcast 
A Place of Yes | A Grief Podcast
Glioblastoma: Losing a Parent to One of the Deadliest Cancers
00:41:36
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- [00:02]
Kate Senecar
Part of my overall goal was so that, you know, we're sharing resources and support and creating kind of this ulterior universe of, like, hope and positivity, as opposed to, like, the normal Google search of Cleo West Jama, which is all negative and no positivity and a lack of hope.
- [00:20]
Heather Straughter
Welcome to A Place of Yes, a podcast about how I moved through my darkest hour. And for me, that was in channeling my grief into good. Welcome to the show. Welcome to A Place of Yes, a podcast where we focus on channeling our grief for good. I'm your host, Heather Straughter, and I am here today with Kate Snedeker. Kate and I met through a mutual friend. One of the things that I was really excited to kind of connect with you about is I think although there's about 30 years between us and age, we have at different parts of our life, like, our journey is very similar. We've lost someone very important to us, and we took that and did some good with it. One of the things that stood out to me when I was learning about your story, which we will get into, but was that you really created a community for yourself that didn't exist, or you created a community for others that didn't exist for you, I guess is the better way to say it. Welcome to the show, Kate. Thank you for being a part of it. Can you share with my audience? Can you give a little, like, talk about, like, who you are and a little bit of your grief? Share a little bit of your grief story with me?
- [01:29]
Kate Senecar
Yeah. So my name is Kate Senecar. I was born and raised in the D.C. area, right outside of D.C. i am the founder and director of a nonprofit organization called Gray for Glioblastoma, which started as a result of my father's diagnosis with brain cancer, which, when he was diagnosed, I recognized this. This lack of awareness and lack of support and lack of. Of funding as a result of those things out there for brain cancer and for glioblastoma, which is the type of brain cancer my father had as a whole. With time, I ended up deciding to. That I wanted to host an event. My background has always been in event planning, and I have always loved, like, throwing events together ever since I was little. And so I plan to do an event and from there just kind of became something that I wasn't expecting it to become. I had family and friends and just people involved in my family's life urging me to turn it into a nonprofit and, you know, have a mission and. And have this one Event, be an annual event alongside, you know, other initiatives and projects. And that was really daunting for me because that was in 2021 and it was when I was just beginning my sophomore year of college.
- [02:40]
Heather Straughter
So tell me about your dad. Let's start with your dad. So you were 21 when he was diagnosed, is that true?
- [02:47]
Kate Senecar
I was 20, 19 maybe.
- [02:51]
Heather Straughter
Okay. Did anybody see it coming? Was this sort of like, was he sick or was it like, what?
- [02:56]
Kate Senecar
Yeah, I mean, no, I mean, my dad was a very healthy individual. He, you know, we had an at home gym in our basement. He would cycle on the bike all the time and fitness was really important to my family and being outdoors. And, you know, my dad was very similar to me in the sense that he was always jugg a million different things at once. You know, he was juggling a high position in a job, he was the VP in a company and raising kids, but not just raising us. You know, being a dedicated, involved, very involved parent, very loving and invested parent, and then also juggling, you know, everything else that comes with life. It wasn't something that anyone ever saw coming. And brain cancer doesn't have genetic markers that we know of. It doesn't have. So there's no history in my family of brain cancer. There's not any big links out there for direct causes for brain cancer. And so there was nothing that we were worried about before. Kind of happened one day, you know, so I was at school and my dad and stepmom were at my house is the story that I've heard. And we're just hanging out. My dad had been working out and then they came upstairs and we're making dinner and my dad kept dropping things and was kind of stuttering in his speech. And they kind of were playing it off as, oh, like you must have had a hard workout. You know, just kind of joking around about it. And it just kind of progressively over the next hour or so got worse to the point where my stepmom was like, write my name on a piece of paper. And he couldn't do it. And so from there she was like, we need to go to the hospital. From there they told my, my family that he had a, that they think he had a stroke and said, you know, come back in a couple of months and if the swelling hasn't gone down from the stroke, then it's gonna be something else. But we can't tell right now because there's swelling in your brain, you know, was kind of just told to go back to normal, go back to Everyday kind of behavior. And it wasn't until a couple weeks later, he started getting, like. His face started tingling one night, and he was like, this is weird. This should not be happening. I'm gonna listen to my body and we're gonna go back. They went back, and from there, the swelling hadn't gone down at all. And so they took more CTs and dug a little deeper and found out it was a brain tumor. And if he had waited those two months, it probably would have been inoperable at that point. He was very lucky to have, you know, listened to himself and known that it was probably good for him to go back to the hospital. And then from there, my family didn't let my sister and I know about his diagnosis until probably two to three weeks later after he found out about his diagnosis, because they wanted to be prepared with a plan to move forward so that, you know, we had a little bit of a buffer in terms of, you know, what's gonna happen next and, you know, take a little bit of the fear factor away.
- [05:55]
Heather Straughter
Did you know about the initial incident like, that they thought was a stroke? Like, had they told you that?
- [06:00]
Kate Senecar
Yeah, so we knew about. We knew that he went to the hospital for. For a stroke and that they put him on stroke medicine right after. I remember talking to him on the. Like, a day after the stroke, and he was having a hard time, like, finding some of his words and having a little bit of aphasia, which is when you can't find the word you're trying to say. Your brain doesn't connect with your, like, mouth, stuff like that. But beyond that, it wasn't anything. And they were saying, you know, like, that kind of stuff is expected after you have a stroke.
- [06:28]
Heather Straughter
I mean, you raised the point that has come up with a lot of our guests. And something that is very particular for me, too, is where it's that piece where he, like, listened to his body. Right. And where we talk a lot with our guests who have experiences, whether it's cancer or whether it's a rare disease or whatever it is, where sometimes you just know something is off or it's wrong. It's this whole thing, like, we expect so much from doctors, and I can talk out of both sides where I want doctors to get it right. Right. It's your family. It's do better. But the flip side is they're human. Thank goodness that he did listen to his body. Right. And thank goodness that he went back. And unfortunately, the news wasn't great, but like you said, he went back and then they could make a plan. What was their plan?
- [07:11]
Kate Senecar
My stepmom has worked in like the medical fields for a really long time on the biotech side of things in biomedical fields. And so she has a lot of connections just to, you know, that field as a whole. And so she kind of started tapping into her connections and trying to figure out the plan and what, what the next step was. And so from doing that they were able to get kind of second opinions from a few different doctors and researchers. From there it was, this needs to come out as soon as possible, we need to operate. But the question and what we were trying to figure out was who do we want to do the operation from There again, it was just a matter of her tapping into her different network and finding different neurosurgeons that we were going to decide between, which we were really blessed that she had these connections because we were deciding between world renowned surgeons. And the decision ultimately came down to a couple of things. A, you know, the surgeon's experience obviously, and who the neurosurgeon was, um, and B, what the post resection, like protocols would be, what they, you know, were offering or their suggestions. Um, and then also the, the neurosurgeon and their team as individuals and who our family was able to connect with the most. So my family came to us with this plan of, okay, we have these three options that we're deciding between and he's going to hopefully have surgery within the next month. Then my sister kind of wasn't really interested in being involved in any of that. And I wanted to listen to all the conversations that were happening. I sat in for a couple of the conversations with, with the neurosurgeons. And it was funny because the last neurosurgeon, and it was a neurosurgeon and a researcher, they were kind of pitching a clinical trial that was just starting and that they wanted us to be involved in and were, I guess, giving us the information on that. But prior to getting on the call, we kind of thought that they were like our last option. We thought, this is just in case, this is just another call, because why not? But after this call, my whole family immediately was like, we would like to work with this team because of all three of those factors that I mentioned.
- [09:29]
Heather Straughter
Yes, you want the top notch physician, you want the best educated, you want all of those things, but you also want someone that you can sit around a table with, feel like a personal connection. And I sometimes think that personal connection, I don't want to say it's more important than the other things because obviously you need the other pieces. But it's what gives you that feeling like, okay, we're going to get through this, or that feeling that you're a team, right? Like, yeah.
- [09:55]
Kate Senecar
And kind of more of like a this is meant to be, this is kismet type of feeling when you hear, like, all these connections being made and also just like, creating a relationship. They sent us personalized notes after my dad passed. They. They were just very, very involved. And we're just an incredible team. And it became very evident that it was. It was the right choice that we made.
- [10:19]
Heather Straughter
What is the age you referenced your sister? She older or younger?
- [10:22]
Kate Senecar
My sister's three years younger, so she is a sophomore in college right now.
- [10:27]
Heather Straughter
So was she. She was living at home. This was happening.
- [10:30]
Kate Senecar
She was living at home and was in high school. My parents are divorced, and so it was like 50, 50 split of time, I guess. When my dad went to the hospital, my mom just happened to. My sister just happened to be at my mom's.
- [10:43]
Heather Straughter
The loss of one person impacts everybody in the family so differently. Even though everyone's mourning the same person, it looks different, right? And I know when we had talked earlier, you got. You got the diagnosis, you got the information, and you kind of like, you just said you want it to be in on the. The conversations and in on it. Now your sister is even now less. I don't want to say involved, because that, I don't mean a judgmenty. I just mean like, she. She has a different approach, right?
- [11:08]
Kate Senecar
A different approach. And I totally agree. Like, no grief experience is the same grief experience. Even though, like, my sister and I's grief experience is probably the closest. Just because we had the same relationship to my dad or not the same relationship, but, like, we're both his children. It's not surprising. I would say that we have had very different approaches to our. Because personality wise, we could not be more different. I'm the more extroverted person and I'm more like, ignorance is not bliss for me. I need to know every detail at all times. And she's more. I'd prefer not to know. I prefer to, like, kind of be a homebody. The way that we approach grief, you could probably predict just from knowing us before experiencing a loss.
- [11:50]
Heather Straughter
Early on in filming the podcast, I had my husband on, you know, obviously we both lost our son and we've talked about it and we have gone through this journey and, you know, we started our foundation together and all of these things. And I will Tell you that we sat and had this conversation really focused on grief, because I was like, oh, be on my podcast. And the things that came out, even though we're talking about the same loss for this really long period of time, were still so different. No matter how much you talk about grief and, you know, I'm sure, you know, you. You become a little more well versed in it. Right? Like, I can sometimes talk about Jake and the work we're doing in his memory in a way where, like, I'm not crying all the. Right. Like, I can talk about it, like, pretty comfortably, but it doesn't mean it's not horrible or hard or any of those things. And I can tell even just from, like, talking with you, like, you are very well versed in talking about the work you're doing, and we're gonna get into the nonprofit. You are comfortable talking about your dad, but it doesn't mean it doesn't still suck. Right? Like, you just miss your dad. Do you feel, like. Do you feel connected to him with the work you're doing with the foundation or talking about it? Like, is that one way where you kind of feel like, what do you think he's thinking of all this?
- [12:53]
Kate Senecar
Yeah, I've actually been asked that before, and every time I, like, don't know what my answer is. I know he's proud of me, and I know, like, I obviously feel very connected through everything I do. It's. It's kind of elongating his memory. I try to make that pretty visible in kind of everything that I do for the nonprofit, you know, making sure that people know, like, my why and why it's important to me. But thinking about, like, what he thinks about the nonprofit, I don't. I don't know. Like, I know that he's proud of me, but I think at the end of the day, like, it's hard because I'm, like, the person that I want to be helping the most is you. And he's no longer here because at the end of the day, like, I wish I could go back in time and have started this nonprofit prior to, you know, when he passed or. I mean, I did start it prior to when he passed, but prior to when he was diagnosed and. And everything like that.
- [13:46]
Heather Straughter
I think that's so kind of touching what you just said, though, right? Like, everything you're doing, you wish you could be doing for him, and that's such a juxtaposition, right? Cause you're doing. You're making such a difference for other people when really at the end of the day, you just wish you could. Instead of elongating his memory, like elongated him. And that's gotta be sometimes, I don't wanna say a struggle, but it's this, like, why? Like, he is your why, but you wish it was different. So he was diagnosed, I think I in May of 2021. And he passed in 2023, March of 2023. So, okay, so under two years, the.
- [14:22]
Kate Senecar
Average life expectancy for glioblastoma is 14 to 16 months. With, you know, treatment with tumor resection, those are kind of the only things that are available out there for glioblastoma. He didn't live much longer past the average prognosis.
- [14:38]
Heather Straughter
It sounds like he tried everything, right? So he was fighting like he was. He was given the good fight. So you were in school during this time, were you back and forth, like, what, what was your relationship like with him? Like, did you want to just be with him or were you happy to be able to be back in school?
- [14:52]
Kate Senecar
Like, so, I mean, obviously when he was diagnosed, I was just like kind of blown away. I was in a long term relationship. I spent a lot of time with my then boyfriend. I think I used not used him, but I think he was a big source of support and a big place where I would, you know, kind of release my grief. At that time it was kind of hard to be at home and so that's why I spent so much. Not why I spent so much time with him, but I think it was a factor. After my dad was diagnosed and, you know, we learned about the prognosis and he had surgery and things were just starting to kind of, you know, change. It kind of felt like every moment with my dad had to be something special. It felt like I couldn't just have a conversation with my dad. It felt like it had to be, you know, like a transformative conversation. That became really, really hard for me because I kind of just wanted normalcy. I wanted to kind of not think about it and not, you know, have to have, you know, really deep conversations and not even if they didn't even need to be deep, but sometimes they just felt heavy. So for a while I think I kind of was pushing it away and kind of ignoring it and trying my hardest to just be a normal kid. I also was somebody that always talked about my feelings. The way that I would feel better is by releasing information. So, like, if I was having a hard day, like, I felt like I just needed to like share that and then it would make me feel Better. I didn't really tell people. My very best friend knew and a couple of my other friends knew that summer. I really didn't do much. Didn't see my friends much, didn't talk about it much. Just spent a lot of time with, you know, that core group of people that knew.
- [16:33]
Heather Straughter
I think you touched on something that is so huge. Right. Like, it's like that feeling or that urgency that every minute has to be, like, the best minute ever, because it might be, like, what's. What are we not saying there? Right. It could be the last minute. At that point, you're grieving what you think is going to happen, like, the anticipation of the loss, but you're also grieving that relationship you had. Right. Like, you had talked earlier about being really close with your dad and doing stuff, and you probably just want to come home from college and hang out with your dad the way you would. But there's this piece of you that's like, oh, I can't, and that's hard.
- [17:04]
Kate Senecar
Yeah. There was definitely already some, like, anticipatory grief, for sure. But then on top of that, there was the grief of, like, you're not who I. Who you used to be, and our relationship isn't the same as how it used to be. I'm. This is my first year back from. First summer back from college. I'm supposed to be doing the normal things that every kid does, but instead, like, I feel, you know. Yeah. That pressure of, like, this has to be important. And his love languages were definitely, like, words about affirmation and quality time. He also always wanted to spend time with me, but it was more so, like, I want you home. I want to spend time with you. I want to sit in the living room with you at all times. That, too, just became really hard for me because I was, again, just trying to shelter it and live a normal life, you know, pushing it away. That lasted all that summer. And then when I went back to college, I was a sophomore, and I think that I went out. You know, in college, you go out, you know, every weekend, Thursday, Friday, Saturday. And I think I went out the first semester maybe twice. And the first time was like. And back at school at that point, I was feeling like, I don't want to have fun. I don't want to be surrounded by people that feel like this is the best weekend of their entire life, and they have no complaints and are just, like, so happy and all the things. And I didn't want to have to lie about how my summer was or be at the bar and say, you know, well, my summer wasn't good during that period. It became like more of kind of like an anger at the world and anger of, like, I don't want to be around people that are happy. They shouldn't be happy. Of course they should be happy. And of course, you know, like, it could be the best night of their semester. But, you know, like, at this point, nothing was going to make me happy. And so after going out that one time and just feeling so frustrated with the world and feeling very, like, sad and just like, not myself, I was like, well, I'm not doing that again. I'm gonna stay in for the rest of the semester and do puzzles. And so, like, I became super into puzzles. Like, I did puzzles, like, every weekend and would stay up, like, I would be up until my roommates got home, sitting in the living room, like, doing a puzzle, and I'd be like, oh, my gosh, it's 2:00 already. Like, I've been staring at the puzzle all night. That lasted, like, the whole semester. And then the second semester of sophomore year, my sister came to visit me and she kind of forced me out of my shell a little bit. From then on, I started going out more and. And doing things. And I guess at that point more people. More people knew about what was going on, but they didn't necessarily know what it was. I didn't know anything about brain cancer, glioblastoma, before my dad was diagnosed. I don't really feel like telling everybody this is what it is and explaining everything, explaining that it's, you know, it's a really difficult cancer and sharing all the statistics. I didn't feel like, you know, putting that on people to share with everyone. And so people didn't know about that. My dad had brain cancer until I decided to host the event and launch the nonprofit.
- [20:07]
Heather Straughter
It's almost like you were going through, you know, they talk about, like, the waves and the stages and all these things of grief. It's like you were doing some of this, like, before he even passed away, right? Like, the whole anger at the world, you know, all of that, like, all of those things. And it's. There's no one way in which we handle these things right, you know, so it's. You got to kind of figure these things out. At that time, were you going back and forth and seeing your dad or.
- [20:29]
Kate Senecar
Yeah. So during that time period when I was back at school, I was talking to my dad pretty much every morning and every night, calling him. I remember calling him like every day when I was walking to class and then calling him at night and just chatting and, and catching up and talking about his day and what he's been up to and stuff like that. And at that point my sophomore year, he was very much still like doing well. Like, he was still like working out and stuff like that for the first half, I guess, for that first semester. And then he, my second semester, had his second brain surgery. So I went for his first brain surgery. It was in Boston. I went for that surgery and then I went for his second surgery. And the first surgery ended up working out like really great. Afterwards. He was very talkative and smiling and, you know, just very like happy that it was done with. After the second surgery, I think, like, things just became a little more real because he was in a ton of pain. That was really hard for me to leave him after that one. But I went back to school. The. We still talked like every day. It was just a little bit harder. That summer I actually did a program where I worked abroad in Paris. And so my last like big family trip was actually in the south of France. And that was really, really hard for me, saying goodbye to him. I knew that it wasn't like a plane ride away from home. It was more of like I couldn't be home in like three hours. And so that was really, really hard for me. I had so many nights that I would just like cry myself to sleep and constantly be worried about my dad and thinking about him. And so I was really, really happy when I got back from Paris and got to spend time with him in my junior year. That's kind of when things just kind of started to go downhill more. So I started to come home a lot more frequently. From somewhere between like December and January to March. I was at home more than I was at school to the point where like I was having conversations with my teachers and with administration about, about like dropping classes. Like, I would go home and stay home for an entire week and go back to school for a couple of days. And then in like February or I guess even January, I was just. I booked a one way flight. I wanted to spend time with him. And at this point he was like bedridden, so he wasn't really getting out of bed. And we had like a caretaker as well. And a lot of my family was there coming in and out for those months. It just became like so much more important than anything else that I was with him. And even if that was. He slept like the majority of the day. It kind of Filled me more to be next to him and be with him than be elsewhere. It was really, really scarring for me, I think, to see, you know, my dad in this state where he couldn't get up and to be, you know, like hand bathed and was screaming in pain. And at this point he was like not doing obviously any treatments anymore. And I know like for my sister that was something she did not want to do. She wanted, you know, her memories of, of my dad to be. Not that she saw him last in like December, January and. And she didn't want to come back because it was going to be too hard for her. And I mean, she was a lot younger than me and so at that point it kind of made sense. She gives herself a hard time about that now that she wasn't there during those moments. But I think again, like, everyone goes through grief differently and it's, you know, some things like I, again, like I'm. Ignorance is not bliss.
- [24:03]
Heather Straughter
Like, are you grateful now that you had that time with him?
- [24:06]
Kate Senecar
I think it's real. I think it's really hard for me to like, look back at those moments because like, they're still kind of like triggering to me in like a scarring way of like, I don't want to see my dad like that and like, no one should ever have to see their dad like that, especially at my age. But I look back at like that time as a whole and I'm so grateful that I just got to like be there.
- [24:27]
Heather Straughter
Was there anything that you wish, like you had said to him or did you kind of have your moments with him or.
- [24:34]
Kate Senecar
No, I think that like everything that I wanted to say, like I said to him, I look back at my grief journey and I don't wish that I had done anything differently because I know myself so well and I know that like, if I had forced myself, you know, that first worst period to be home with him all the time, then I would have been in a worse state. So no, I, I wish that I had more time. I wish that, you know, my dad were still alive now because I'm still learning and I'm still growing and I'm still like, oh my God, like my taxes are due. He normally did that for me. Or like, I just moved into a new apartment. How do I mount a tv? Like, there are so many things that like, I think that's one of the hardest things about grief right now for me is that like, I grieve him the most when I'm not expecting it because it's stuff that applying to jobs like he would normally be, you know, like that person that was looking over my resume and making sure that, like, everything was fine tuned and would help me, like, make connections and network with, you know, people in his. In his, you know, world, in life and stuff like that. It's just like I wish that he was here to. To be that person for me and here to help me and, you know, be that father figure and teach me and. And all that kind of stuff.
- [25:45]
Heather Straughter
I was thinking of this when you were saying it. It's, you know. Yes. It's that you always wish there was more time. Like, that's just kind of goes without saying. But also, sometimes you brace yourself for the moments when you think you're gonna miss him. Right? Like, whether it's Christmas and there was a tradition or his birthday or, I don't know, like, just big times. I find the hardest things are those small times, right? Your brain can almost trick you sometimes and you want to be like, hey, dad. And then you're like, oh, shit. Like, those are the moments that really can trip you up because you brace yourself for what you think are the big ones.
- [26:17]
Kate Senecar
I. I know one time like, like my stepmom was like, I started crying in the toilet paper aisle because we would always go grocery shopping together and like, he would always want to buy like, the cheaper toilet paper and I would always want to buy like, the thick toilet paper. And like, we would always joke about it and like, it a hits you at very unexpected times. And like, I agree that it always, like, like feels worse and more heavy at times that I wasn't expecting it. And like, stupid little things that I'm like, I'm drilling into the wall and. And it's wood not. Or it's like steel, not wood. Like, what am I doing wrong? And at that point I'm like, oh my God. Like, I don't have a dad. He's not here. I hate, I hate this versus, you know, like, my birthday, where it's like, I know that he's not going to be able to wish me a happy birthday.
- [27:04]
Heather Straughter
It's the worst because you don't know when they're coming, right? Like on the day that Jake died, which is December 8th, like week ahead of time, I have friends starting to reach out, like, hey, do you need anything? You're good. Are you? You know, like, I have for like three weeks in December. I have like a village that supports Brian and I. And it's like, it's amazing, but it's those. It's the other moments, it's the ones you don't see it. And exactly, like, I get. I can almost picture you, right? Like, you're putting a nail on the wall and you're like. All of a sudden, then you become hysterical. Like, I have those moments where I'm, like, crying like a lunatic over the littlest thing. I want to pivot a little bit and talk about gray for glioblastoma. So you started this upon your dad's diagnosis. And my first question, though, is, what does the name like? What's. What's behind the name?
- [27:48]
Kate Senecar
Yeah. So glioblastoma is obviously the name of the cancer type. I wanted glioblastoma to be in the name so that people could find it. Part of my overall goal was so that, you know, we're sharing resources and support and creating kind of this. This ulterior universe of, like, hope and positivity, as opposed to, like, the normal Google search of glioblastoma, which is all negative and no positivity and a lack of hope. People asked if I wanted to, like, have my dad's name in or my own name in it. And I also knew that I didn't want to do that because it's not an organization just for my dad. Making my dad's name in it would kind of cloud my own experience with the cancer type. I wanted to focus, you know, primarily on the cause. Obviously, my dad is a huge part of the nonprofit. Anyways, just wasn't in the name. We had started to plan, like, this event, this gala event, and I made an Instagram called the Ironman Gala. I wanted to call it the Ironman Gala because my dad's favorite superhero was Iron Man. My dad was always my superhero. One of the things that we. We launched through the page to raise awareness was kind of a spin off of, on Wednesdays, we wear pink from Mean Girls. We did. On Wednesdays, we wear gray for glioblastoma because gray is the cancer color. Months down the line, when it came time to pick a name for the organization, I was like, why don't we do gray for glioblastoma? Since that's, like, one of our biggest projects, and it has, you know, the awareness of the color, the awareness of the type of cancer. From there, I wanted to make sure, like, our logo had, you know, the kind of the other part of our mission that was, you know, fostering hope and positivity. And so our logo is like a little brain with wings. We made the brain in the logo gray and then the wings, we made purple because purple is like, the cancer color in general.
- [29:41]
Heather Straughter
One of the sort of ways you're making a difference, right, is just even having it in the title. And correct me if I get this wrong, but as I was kind of reading about you and sort of all of these things, immediately your dad got sick, has this brain cancer. You Google it, and there's like, nothing but sort of negative stats. Like, there's really nothing to help you dig in and research. Like, you guys get behind research.
- [30:03]
Kate Senecar
And when I Googled it, it really was like, is glioblastoma always fatal? Can anyone survive longer than a month with glioblastoma? Why is glioblastoma known as the deadliest cancer? It was like, my family had just told us about my dad, and they told us that, you know, it's like a bad cancer to have. And I Google it and it's like, your dad's going to die. And I was like, that is not helpful. That's not what I came to Google for. I went to Instagram and I was like, maybe there's a community that I can lean into. I find nothing. I find no verified accounts. What do I Google to find what I'm looking for? And so that was another, like, kind of just barrier that I faced that I was like, why can't I find the right resources? The roundabout answer to that question is, yes, we. We provide a lot of resources as well. Because I felt like everything should be in one place and that there should be, you know, information, there should be research, there should be ways to donate. There should be merchandise that you can buy and support. There should be support and hope and a community and the ability to chat with other people or attend events where people are, you know, experiencing the same thing. And even just. Just meeting people that are experiencing the same thing. And then also providing resources of, like, what is glioblastoma? There's all these cancer words that are used in a glioblastoma diagnosis that, what does it mean to have a methylated. Methylated versus unmethylated tumor? And so all that kind of stuff. And also providing, like, financial resources, emotional resources. How do I find a clinical trial? A lot of those things that make it harder to understand a diagnosis. My family actually had access to. You know, we had. My stepmom worked in an industry where she, like, reviewed clinical trials to make sure that all of the elements were included to be submitted to, you know, the fda. And so she was aware of that kind of stuff. And we had the financial resources. And so, so that again, that's just another barrier of like I can't imagine having to find those resources as well and not having access to them. And I felt like everything should be in one place. And so we created it.
- [32:07]
Heather Straughter
I love that. I mean I absolutely. There's so much about the things you said that, you know, resonate for me because it's a lot of why we started what we started. Because of your own personal life and my own personal life. Like we handled what was thrown our way the best we could and we had resources to do it. How hands on are you like today in the. I know you're the founder and are you the president?
- [32:28]
Kate Senecar
Yeah, I mean it's kind of a one man show. I have an assistant that I hired about a year and a half ago because it all. We were growing very rapidly and pile up and, and you know, I wanted to still be able to focus on like the fun stuff and the stuff that I enjoyed and the ability to grow the nonprofit and still be able to like kind of be the face of the non profit and be able to do all of that while also, you know, going to school and take care of my dad and balancing like all the other things in my life. Yeah, I'm, I'm still, you know, at that, at that point where I am doing it as often as I can while also juggling, you know, a million other things.
- [33:09]
Heather Straughter
Have you had any like real connections where you know, you have been that person for someone?
- [33:14]
Kate Senecar
Like we probably get like an Instagram DM like at least two times a week that are like, I'm so grateful for this account. Like it, it's become like a saving grace for me and my family. Like I look up to you. Like, like I was looking for a space of community and. And you found it. Thank you so much for providing it. And just like all of that sort of stuff that like becomes kind of like very much like imposter syndrome to me because I'm kind of like, don't thank me. Like it's no big deal. Like it definitely like keeps me like motivated to continue doing the nonprofit. Try to kind of be everywhere at once. Like I wish we could be everywhere at once. People are always like, you have to come to the state, in the state, in the city, in this city. And like it's, it's so hard because like I'm one man show and like it's not my full time job. But I've also like through the nonprofit, become close friends with a lot of people that, you know, I met through their experience. Having those relationships and being able to curate those relationships for other people has been great, too. And the other thing is, I have, you know, there's two girls that I know through the nonprofit that I've become close with, and they told me that they've become close, and I was like, oh, my gosh, how did that happen? But it's like, obviously, that happens. They're the same. They're around the same age. Both of them had a parent pass from glioblastoma. It was just funny. They were like, hey, me and. Me and her were talking about this. We should all do it together. And it was like an event that we ended up doing. It was like a Pilates class in Dallas that we ended up hosting because the two of them were talking about it together, and both came to me individually. It's. It's just good to know that, like, people are, you know, able to take the resources that we provide and kind of do their own thing with it, whether it's, you know, making friendships outside of the nonprofit.
- [34:58]
Heather Straughter
I love that. And it's so impressive what you have accomplished and how you are using. Totally being corny, but how you're using your grief and your experiences to really make a difference and to turn it around. I'm really grateful that you were willing to come on the show and share your story and talk about your dad. I don't know if you've listened to a place of yes before, but we do this thing at the end where it's called Ask Heather Anything. This is the portion of the show where you can ask me anything, I guess, maybe.
- [35:27]
Kate Senecar
Like what. What are the pieces of advice that you've received throughout your grief journey that you kind of look back at on, you know, a daily, monthly, weekly basis, the most frequently or kind of have incorporated into your life?
- [35:42]
Heather Straughter
That's a really good question. So it's interesting, like, in the beginning and, you know, and Jake's been gone a long time, he, you know, almost 14 years next month. And in the beginning, 14 years ago, the world was pretty different, right? Like, we didn't talk about grief as much, and. And people didn't want to hear it as much, and I always wanted to talk about it. So for a long time, I was kind of stuck in trying to make other people comfortable or other people make them feel okay. And I cared more about that than what I needed to kind of get through. And I think that somewhere along the line, I connected with someone and talked with someone and it was really just acknowledging that, yeah, grief sucks. Loss sucks. Losing someone really close to you sucks. And lean into it and be okay with it and do what you need to do, right? And sometimes it's exactly your story. Sometimes it is not. Going out and staying home and doing puzzles and, like, being in your own head, you know? And still, all these years later, it's the same thing. Like, sometimes I still need alone time and I need to just be in my own sadness. And other times, frankly, I want to go out and have drinks with friends and not think about it. My go to on a daily basis is just lean into whatever it is you need and don't. Don't worry about making other people feel comfortable. They will either figure it out or they won't. Like, I will talk to Jake all the time, and I don't care who hears me. Sometimes it's kind of wacky. Do you talk to your dad?
- [37:01]
Kate Senecar
I actually, I don't. I'm not at that yet. But I'm very aware of, like, when he's listening to me. I see my dad through rainbows. And every single time that I'm, like, in need of a rainbow, I get a rainbow. And, like, I have two text conversations where I've texted somebody and said, I need a rainbow right now. And it hasn't even been raining outside. It's been sunny, clear skies, and it starts raining, and I look up and I see a rainbow within the hour of me sending that text. And then, like, I am so. I know so deeply that my dad is there to support me and that, like, he can hear me and he's listening to me, and he's looking down on me and being my cheerleader. And from that moment, like, whatever I was feeling, it gets, like, erased from my body, and I move forward with, you know, motivation and strength.
- [37:59]
Heather Straughter
I love that so much. I actually got chills in all of these conversations I have with people. You know, some have signed, like, some come in dreams, all these things. But, like, so I have a cardinal, right? Like that. That's Jake. I love it because I think it's real. And I know exactly what you mean. Right? Like, you know, it's like a reset and whatever was bugging you. Like, you see that and you're like, deep breath. Okay, good. Pivot. Go. Now, when I see a rainbow, I'm gonna think of your dad.
- [38:22]
Kate Senecar
When people say to me, like, I saw a rainbow today and I thought of your dad, or, like, people will send me pictures of rainbows that they see and. And say, like, Your dad. And I think that's one of the things, too, that, like, is so easy. Like, people are taking pictures of a rainbow anyway, and it's so easy just to send it to me and be like, your dad's here. And, like, how much that means to me and, like, my journey of loss and how much it means that, like, somebody is thinking about my dad when they see a rainbow, even if they didn't think about him when they saw it, and they snap a picture and they're like, oh, Kate, Kate's dad. And send it to me. My dad and I are in your thoughts. And, like, I can't express how much it means when, you know, like, I get those things from people, and I do, from a lot of people that, you know, are. Are deeply involved in my life and those that aren't necessarily that deeply involved. And it's just. It's a really beautiful way to, like, keep furthering my dad's memory, I think.
- [39:14]
Heather Straughter
I. I mean, I think it's beautiful. I. Absolutely. And I know I 100% know the impact that is. Well, Kate, thank you so much for being on the show. I really appreciate it. I've loved getting to know you a little more and. And chatting, so thank you.
- [39:27]
Kate Senecar
Thank you so much for having me. I really appreciate it.
- [39:32]
Heather Straughter
Thank you for listening to A Place of Yes. Please follow us wherever you listen to your podcasts. If you really like this episode, please share it with a friend. It would make a world of difference if we could just reach more people and share the work that we do and the stories we want to tell.