A Place of Yes | A Grief Podcast

Episode Summary: Preserving Connection After Loss with Birthdays from Beyond

Host: Heather Straughter
Guest: Molly Pearson, Founder of Birthdays from Beyond
Date: November 12, 2025

Overview

In this heartfelt and practical episode, Heather welcomes Molly Pearson, founder of Birthdays from Beyond, to explore grief, anticipatory loss, and unique rituals for preserving connection after loved ones pass. Centered on the transformative idea of writing future birthday cards for loved ones, the conversation delves into how small rituals can provide comfort, connection, and ongoing meaning, even amidst deep grief. Molly’s story, rooted in her close relationship with her father and his cancer diagnosis, becomes an inspiring lens through which to consider ‘what we can do’ to maintain and honor bonds after loss.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Saying Yes to the Present

• Heather’s recent “yes”: She shares about saying yes to golfing with her son, emphasizing the importance of embracing unexpected opportunities for connection.
  • “I was so glad I said yes, not only for the time that I got to spend with him, but I had, like, the two best rounds I have ever played, certainly this year, and maybe in my life.” (02:25)
• Molly’s life shift: Molly details her move to Central Coast California to work with a horse trainer—a leap inspired by the value of following your inner callings, an idea central to grieving and growth.
  • “So much of his philosophy of being with horses and training horses is also a spiritual pursuit... it's like living in a enlightenment think tank with my favorite animals.” (03:30)

2. The Book That Inspires: “A Lion Tracker’s Guide to Life”

• Molly references this book as a metaphor for living and grieving:
  • “I don't know where I'm going, but I know exactly how to get there.” (05:04)
• Discussion links to the grief journey—following what calls you, even without knowing the destination.

3. Birthdays from Beyond: Origin & Meaning

• Inspiration: Molly’s close relationship with her father, particularly his habit of writing meaningful birthday cards, becomes intensely significant after his cancer diagnosis.
  • “For my birthday, every year, he has always given me the greatest birthday cards... It didn't really land for me just how significant those cards were to me until he got his cancer diagnosis.” (08:02)
• The moment: Molly asks her dad to write 75 birthday cards for her to open after he’s gone, leading to the project’s inception.
  • “I handed him a stack of 75 empty birthday cards... I am going to open one a year, every year after you die.” (08:47)
• The name “Birthdays from Beyond” was her father’s idea, furthering the specialness of the project.

4. How Birthdays from Beyond Works (13:03)

• Users receive a box with 15 blank cards and a set of prompts to help inspire messages.
  • “You have your own little card and envelope that you get to open first... I've included a bunch of different questions and prompts... you can reflect on your own life, or... reflect on your child and what you love about them.” (13:54)
• Two “tracks”: Share stories, wisdom, and memories or reflect lovingly on the recipient.

5. The Deep Power of Specific Compliments

• Advice from Molly’s dad about giving meaningful compliments:
  • “Whenever you tell somebody that you appreciate something about them, that's step one. But step two, if you really want to take it deeper, is tell them why you appreciate that about them.” (15:00)
• Applied both to great birthday cards and building connection amidst grief.

6. Expanding the Ritual: Community Stories

• Unexpected uses:
  • A woman writes letters to her miscarried twins as ritual connection.
    • “She is writing these as letters to them as a way to stay connected to their memory each year on their birthday or what would have been their birthday.” (20:26)
  • Couple writes cards together for their sons, creating new bonding experiences (24:21).
  • A healthy father uses the cards as a family legacy project, inserting photos and family history (25:22).

7. Memory, Grief, and the Need for New Moments

• Heather reflects on the pain that new memories eventually stop after loss, and how future cards can provide a continued sense of relationship and presence.
  • “There is a solid day where you no longer have memories with that person... this is a way to keep that going.” (17:06)
• Molly reflects:
  • “I want to experience something of my dad for the rest of my life, not just the rest of his life.” (19:17)

8. Ritual, Action, and the Loneliness of Grief

• Molly connects Western rituals (or lack thereof) around grieving to the need for intentional acts—like letter writing—to navigate anticipatory grief.
  • “In so many other cultures, there are rituals around death and loss and grieving... And it's something that we are really drastically lacking in the West... This is an action that you can take either to deal with your anticipatory grief... or to set your kid up for a less lonely experience." (32:54–33:35)
• Heather and Molly joke about posthumous parenting:
  • “I can continue to just, you know, boss him. Contribute to your IRA... Eat your vegetables.”
    (Heather, 33:49 | Molly, 34:01)

9. Anticipatory Grief: Learning to Live with Mortality

• Molly discusses her experience facing her father’s ongoing health scares:
  • “Having had that first experience, it was like popping the balloon, you know, this illusion of my dad is going to be here forever...” (35:31)
• Heather relates, noting the life shift that comes with first realizing the mortality of those we love.

10. Living in the Present: Lessons from Horse Racing

• Molly shares a transformative memory about training for a 1000 km horse race, learning to value the current journey instead of just anticipating the destination.
  • “If you spend all of your time waiting to get to the start line, you're gonna miss all the gifts along the way... the journey is the destination, the path is the goal.” (39:15)
• Her phone’s screensaver:
  • “I will never have this version of me again. Let me slow down and be with her.” (40:11)

11. Strong Parent-Child Bonds: The Foundation for Ritual

• Molly credits her enduring relationship with her dad for shaping not only Birthdays from Beyond, but her worldview and entrepreneurial approach.
  • “So, yes, he is. He is proud of this. And for him, it almost doesn't matter what the it is... Is Molly following through on things? Is she taking a bite out of life? Is she saying yes to things?” (45:39)
• Early examples of entrepreneurship and courage are discussed as central to their connection.

12. Practicalities: How to Order and Use Birthdays from Beyond

• Website: birthdaysfrombeyond.com
• Boxes contain prompts, 15 cards/envelopes, and a time capsule-style box; stories and tokens can be added.
• Molly invites listener feedback and use-case stories:
  • “If anybody who is listening to this show and does it [Birthdays from Beyond], I want to know how it is for you... let me know what you're gonna use it for. I would love to hear some interesting new use cases.” (50:08)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “I don't know where I'm going, but I know exactly how to get there.”
  — Molly, on living with uncertainty and intuition (05:04)

• “I want to experience something of my dad for the rest of my life, not just the rest of his life.”
  — Molly, on the need for ongoing connection after loss (19:17)

• “Whenever you tell somebody that you appreciate something about them, that's step one. But step two, if you really want to take it deeper, is tell them why you appreciate that about them.”
  — Molly, on giving meaningful compliments (15:00)

• “The memories stop—that is or at least for me has been one of the hardest things about, like, loss and grief...”
  — Heather, reflecting on the pain of memory’s limits (17:06)

• “This is an action that you can take either to deal with your anticipatory grief... or to set your kid up for a less lonely experience.”
  — Molly, on proactive rituals in grief (33:35)

• “I will never have this version of me again. Let me slow down and be with her.”
  — Molly, on self-compassion and presence (40:11)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:00–02:59: Lighthearted “what have you said yes to” openers
• 04:53–06:33: “Lion Tracker’s Guide to Life” & embracing uncertainty
• 07:49–11:55: Origin of Birthdays from Beyond & Molly’s anticipatory grief
• 13:03–14:56: How the service works, prompts, and types of messages
• 15:56–17:06: Molly’s dad’s wisdom on compliments; depth in messages
• 20:01–26:52: Powerful community stories & varied uses for the kit
• 32:54–34:01: Ritual, action, and the loneliness of grief
• 35:31–37:42: Anticipatory grief and facing reality of parental mortality
• 39:38–41:00: Horse race metaphor—living in the present
• 43:01–46:11: Parent-child bond and entrepreneurial roots
• 46:49–48:51: Order process; invitation for listener stories

Final Thoughts & Resources

• Website: birthdaysfrombeyond.com
• Free resource: 3 steps to writing a meaningful birthday card (available on the site).
• Molly encourages sharing personal experiences and unique uses of the product.

Tone

The conversation is candid, compassionate, humorous at moments, and deeply authentic—true to host Heather’s aim of making grief and its rituals an open, welcoming topic.