Podcast Summary: "Why I Quit My Job to Grieve My Parents’ Deaths"

Podcast Information:

• Title: A Place of Yes | A Grief Podcast
• Host: Bright Sighted (Heather)
• Guest: Rebecca Finegloss
• Release Date: May 29, 2025

Introduction

In the episode titled "Why I Quit My Job to Grieve My Parents’ Deaths," host Heather welcomes Rebecca Finegloss, a certified grief support specialist, startup founder, podcast host, and former state and local policy advisor. The conversation delves deep into Rebecca's personal journey through grief, her unconventional decision to take a year-long sabbatical to process her losses, and the innovative community support systems she established as a result.

Rebecca Finegloss's Background and Initial Grief

Rebecca opens up about a pivotal moment in her life — the sudden death of her father during the early days of the COVID-19 lockdown. [00:01] She recounts leading a meeting at work when she received the devastating news from her stepmother. This moment, witnessed by all her colleagues, marked one of the lowest points in her life:

Rebecca Finegloss [00:01]: "I was at work... everyone that I respected and reported to, they all saw me at the very worst moment of my entire life."

Heather introduces Rebecca with admiration, highlighting her contributions and the alignment in their perspectives on grief. [00:30] Heather shares a poignant quote to set the tone for the episode:

Heather [00:30]: "We don't need to tell them to look on the bright side or fix their grief. Grief doesn't have an answer. Sometimes it just fucking sucks."

The Decision to Take Grieve Leave

Rebecca details the accumulation of personal tragedies leading to her profound grief: the loss of both parents and a subsequent divorce. By the end of 2021, she found herself overwhelmed and realized the need for a drastic change. [02:46] She made the unconventional choice to quit her high-ranking position in state government to dedicate a year to grieving, a period she aptly named "Grieve Leave."

Rebecca Finegloss [02:46]: "I decided to leave my job and spend a year exploring this idea of grief. And I called that year Grieve Leave."

During this year, Rebecca engaged in various activities to process her grief, including travel, writing, volunteering at grief summer camps, and even taking a music songwriting class. Her blog documenting this journey resonated globally, leading her to found her own company, Grieve Leave, which now supports individuals worldwide in navigating their grief.

Expanding the Concept: Meet and Grieve Events

Heather and Rebecca discuss the limitations of traditional grief support groups, which often felt restrictive and did not cater to Rebecca's needs. [28:32] Frustrated by inflexible formats, Rebecca pioneered "meet and grieve" events. These informal gatherings allow individuals to connect over shared experiences without the pressure of structured therapy. Activities range from exercise classes to candle-making sessions, fostering authentic and supportive environments.

Rebecca Finegloss [29:00]: "Grief doesn't have to be something that is clinically supported and intervened in all the time. It can just be part of, you know, your experience."

These events emphasize the importance of community and shared understanding, allowing participants to either openly discuss their grief or simply enjoy the presence of others who empathize with their loss.

Shifting Perspectives on Grief

A significant portion of the episode addresses societal misconceptions about grief. Rebecca challenges the rigid frameworks, such as the "six stages of grief," advocating for a more nuanced understanding. [07:21] She emphasizes that grief is not a linear process and that acknowledging its complexity can alleviate the pressure to "move on" prematurely.

Rebecca Finegloss [07:21]: "Grief doesn't have an answer. Sometimes it just fucking sucks."

Heather shares her personal experiences, highlighting how societal narratives often invalidate diverse grief experiences, whether it's losing a child, a pet, or enduring non-death-related losses like divorce or job termination. They agree that naming and validating all forms of grief is revolutionary and essential for genuine healing.

Personal Reflections and Emotional Insights

The conversation becomes deeply personal as both Rebecca and Heather reflect on their individual losses. Rebecca speaks about her ongoing anger and sadness over her father's sudden death and the complicated emotions stemming from her mother's prolonged illness and passing. [21:06]

Rebecca Finegloss [21:06]: "I'm really angry that my dad died. It's not fair."

Heather shares her own grief over losing her son, Ethan, and the evolving nature of her sorrow over the years. [25:14] They discuss the feelings of guilt that can arise when one grieves certain losses more intensely than others, acknowledging that grief does not follow a hierarchy and that every form of loss warrants its own space for mourning.

Innovative Approaches and Technology in Grief

Rebecca introduces how modern technology aids in her grieving process. She discusses using aging filters on photos to visualize her mother's aging, providing a unique form of connection and comfort. [26:27] This innovative approach exemplifies how contemporary tools can offer solace and new ways to engage with memories.

Rebecca Finegloss [26:27]: "When the aging filter on TikTok came out... I saw that I looked exactly like my late father. It was creepy and also beautiful."

Creating Safe Spaces for Grief

The duo emphasizes the importance of creating environments where grief is acknowledged and supported without judgment or stigma. Rebecca elaborates on the essence of her "meet and grieve" events, where attendees can either openly discuss their grief or simply partake in activities alongside others who understand their pain. [33:34]

Rebecca Finegloss [33:35]: "The comfort of just looking around at the other people and know that... these people are here because they're grieving too. And that's all the support that I needed."

Heather reflects on her negative experiences with traditional grief programs, underscoring the need for more authentic and flexible support systems that avoid perpetuating feelings of extreme depression as the sole manifestation of grief. [32:58]

Conclusion

The episode concludes with Heather and Rebecca affirming the importance of redefining grief and creating inclusive, supportive communities. They advocate for a broader acceptance of diverse grief experiences and the validation of all feelings associated with loss. Rebecca expresses immense gratitude for the conversation, highlighting the potential for future collaborations and community-building efforts.

Rebecca Finegloss [37:33]: "Let's go. I'm totally pumped."

Heather invites listeners to engage with the podcast and share the episode to reach a wider audience, emphasizing the collective journey toward healing and understanding.

Notable Quotes:

• Heather [00:30]: "We don't need to tell them to look on the bright side or fix their grief. Grief doesn't have an answer. Sometimes it just fucking sucks."
• Rebecca Finegloss [02:46]: "I decided to leave my job and spend a year exploring this idea of grief. And I called that year Grieve Leave."
• Rebecca Finegloss [07:21]: "Grief doesn't have an answer. Sometimes it just fucking sucks."
• Rebecca Finegloss [21:06]: "I'm really angry that my dad died. It's not fair."
• Rebecca Finegloss [26:27]: "When the aging filter on TikTok came out... I saw that I looked exactly like my late father. It was creepy and also beautiful."

This episode offers a profound exploration of grief beyond conventional narratives, presenting innovative solutions for those navigating loss. Through Rebecca Finegloss's candid storytelling and Heather's empathetic hosting, listeners gain valuable insights into embracing grief's complexity and finding strength in community.