← The Rachel Hollis Podcast
The Rachel Hollis Podcast
989 | You Are ONE Decision Away From a Better Life (Friday Favorites!)
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*Original Airdate: January '25 Upgrade to the Ad Free Premium Podcast Experience - https://rachelhollis.supercast.com Get your copy of Rachel's Book Here: Audible, Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Books-A-Millon, Bookshop.org, or wherever books are sold! To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices In this throwback episode of The Rachel Hollis Podcast, Rachel explores the power of making one intentional decision that can create lasting change, arguing that meaningful transformation often begins with a single commitment rather than a complete life overhaul. Through personal stories about improving her health, waking up at 5:00 a.m., and growing her business, she explains how keeping promises to yourself, maintaining clarity about your biggest goal, and refusing to backslide can create ripple effects across every area of life. Rach encourages listeners...
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This episode is brought to you by Peacock and the new original series the five Star Weekend. Jennifer Garner stars as Hollis Shaw, a famed cook who invites her best friends to Nantucket after a devastating loss changes her life. Based on the best selling novel by Ellen Hildebrand, this a list ensemble also stars Darcy Cardin, Gemma Chan, Regina hall and chloe Sevigny. The five star weekend is streaming July 9th only on Peacock, the teacher's pet that will forever live inside my heart. Always loves Back to School. And while my own children might not feel the same way about it that I do, I love this time of year. I love getting new school supplies. What backpacks are we going to take? And getting your back to school shoes. When I was a kid, you got one pair of shoes a year. So the back to school shoes, huge deal. And if you are in the market for your own pair of back to school shoes, Famous Footwear makes it easy to get ready for the school year. With great shoes at great prices. You can find brands like Jordan, Nike, Adidas, Birkenstocks for the hippies like me, New Balance, Sketchers, I mean, you name it. Famous Footwear hats has got it right. Now it's bogo. Buy one pair, get one half off at Famous Footwear. Shop in store to get $10 to spend this fall. Some exclusions apply. Plus join famous rewards to get Famous Footwear's best benefits, including free shipping. Stephen Covey, who is like the godfather of every great quote ever, has one of my favorites, which is the main thing is to keep the main thing. The main thing. The main thing is the main thing is the main thing. It is so freaking easy to get distracted by the bright and shiny object. But when you make the decision to focus in on one area and to not do anything, any of the little ancillary things, like if it can't be this, then I don't want that. That is one choice that changes everything. Hi, I'm Rachel and in this show we talk about everything. Life and work, health and healing, relationships with others and with ourself. These are stories for the seekers. These are conversations for the curious. This is the Rachel Hollis Podcast. Hi guys, it's Rach. Welcome to another episode of the show. And a little pump up, a little motivation, a little inspiration to get your week going or keep your week going. But my goal today is to fire you up about your life and more specifically how simple it is to change your life for the better. Now notice I didn't say easy, but it is simple. So today I want to talk about One choice. You are one choice. You are one decision away from changing your life forever. And I know this because so many times over the course of my life, it wasn't a bunch of choices. It was one moment. It was like that song in the Greatest Showman, which I hope you've seen at least 10 times, because it's. It's amazing where they say, from now on, I always think of these moments in our lives as never again. And from now on, like, never again will I do this, never again will I do that. But from now on, this is who I am, and this is how I function. That's a single second. That's the snap of a fingers, that's clap your hands, and everything is different. It's one decision. And whether that decision that you need to make today is a tiny baby choice, like picking up the phone and calling somebody, like having a hard conversation, putting on your sneakers and walking around the block because you promised yourself that you would. Or maybe that decision is huge. You're never gonna drink again because you know that you are a better human on every level when you're sober. Maybe the big decision is you need to end this relationship because you know it is making you both the worst versions of yourself. Whatever the decision is, there is one thing that you could do today that would have ripple effects you can't even imagine. And my intention is to pump you up enough that you're like, let's go. Let's make the choice. Let's at the very least figure out what that one decision is. So often we over complicate what will actually get us results. We're like, oh, I need this, and I'm gonna buy that book and I'm gonna get this workout outfit. I'm gonna sign up for the gym, and I'm gonna go to this conference and I'm gonna do. No, you don't need to add a bunch of stuff. You need to figure out a very clear direction for what should happen next. So today, we're going to dive into what you can do to harness the power of one decision and use that choice to create these incredible ripple effects in your life. Use that choice to overcome fear, to get you unstuck, and to figure out how to keep the commitments that are going to help you become the best version of yourself. I mean, that sounds like a great time. Let's go. First, as always, before I lean into all my ideas, I want to sell you on why this makes sense. I want to sell you on the power of the single decision. And in Order to do that, I got to tell you some stories. When I was prepping for the this podcast today, I was like, oh, well, there's this one that's an obvious choice. And, oh, there's this moment that was sort of a great before and after. And then there's this one that one's in business. And I was like, you know what? I'm going to give you three completely different examples. So no matter who you are and what you are working on in your life, I'm hoping that these three stories will illuminate something for you. So I'm going to tell you a story about one decision I made that changed my health forever. One decision I made that changed my ownership of myself and my ability to feel empowered as a grownup, as a woman. And then one decision I made that changed my business forever. And the really interesting thing about these decisions that we make is that when you do it one time and it actually sticks and you see the effect of. Of that decision, you can replicate that in other areas of your life. And in fact, I'm going to give you an example of something I did in business that I have replicated again and again to experience continued success. Let's start with the very first example. Some of you have heard this story before, some of you have not. I know we have a lot of newbies here because the new book came out, so there's people who, like, just discovered me. Welcome to the party. We're glad you're here. Get ready to have me pump you up. But let me tell you this story about the single decision I made that changed my health forever. Quick backstory. Grew up in a family that was very unhealthy on every level. Mentally, emotionally, spiritually. But in this case, the one that matters most is physically. My family is Southern on both sides. And not that there can't be healthy people in the 80s who, like, have origins in the south, but my family definitely was not one of the healthy example. We love to deep fry things. We love to cover them in cheese and gravy. We absolutely eat our feelings. We use food as an emotional coping mechanism. I grew up with a lot of really disoriented feelings around food and very unhealthy perspectives of how to eat just all the things. I know some of you are nodding. You probably have similar backgrounds, but I had no concept of what true health looked like growing up. I thought that to be healthy. I'm using air quotes. You can't see me. But I thought that to be healthy was to be Thin. In my mind, if you wanted to be healthy, you went on a diet. Something very restrictive or maybe involving like Slim Fast and Xenodrine and Atkins and South beach and you name it, our family tried it. That was my perception of healthy. I thought that healthy was you wanted to look good in a bathing suit. Now, at 42, I have very different perspectives of what health actually is. I think that thriving in your health is about how you feel, not about how you look. I make decisions every day to choose foods that are healthy, to choose foods that bless my body, to eat a lot of greens and nuts and seeds and lean proteins and just totally different than how I was raised. That is relevant. But because something had to shift over time for me to live the way I do today, which is 180 degrees the opposite direction of how I was raised. Like they're different planets. And I can look at this very distinct moment, which is so silly. And I think it's a great story because sometimes the decision you need to make is just keeping the your word. It doesn't even matter what you keep your word in. It just matters that you keep your word. You keep the commitment that you made to yourself. You keep the promise that you made to yourself. And if you've never actually successfully done that and then you do it, you realize that you're capable of something you didn't think you were capable of. So my story, I've told it many times, was giving up Diet Coke. It's so simple. Of all the things that could be affecting people's health, that doesn't seem very high on the list of priorities. And except for the chemicals, and they're awful. But that's not my point. My point is there were so many other things I was doing in my life at that point that were more unhealthy. Around that same time period, I loved me some boxed wine. I still ate fast food all the time. I still went to Starbucks and got a Frappuccino and thought that that was so such a normal part of my day, as opposed to essentially having a milkshake every day of my life. Like I was making really terrible choices for my health that would have been more profound for my body. But the giving up Diet Coke was the first thing I actually stuck to. It's truly that simple. In my entire life, up until that point, and I was in probably my early 30s at this point, I had gone on a lot of diets and I had, quote, given up a lot of things, but I never stuck with it. And one day. I was like, what if I just didn't drink this ever again? That felt so crazy to me. But I was like, what if? It's so stupid. Like, I'm thinking of it now, like, as if I'm revealing some big thing. Like, oh, I gave up Diet Coke. But I love Diet Coke. I still sometimes am like, oh, you know, it would be amazing to go have Mexican food and have a Diet Coke. Does anyone else have, like, those combinations where, like, your diet soda plus that food is like, the perfect combination? Like back in the day when I ate fast food, Panda Express and a Diet Pepsi. Oh, talk dirty to me. Oh, my mouth's watering. What a loser. But there's some combinations of food that are just so perfect. Diet Coke was something I drink all the time. I didn't think I could give it up. And I thought, well, I am giving myself full permission to replace the Diet Coke with anything else as long as I won't have that. So, like, I would have regular soda. I would have. I ended up just getting really into sparkling water. But I gave myself permission to have anything else if I just wouldn't break this one promise I'd made to myself. And it was really hard for like, eight days. And then it was totally fine. And then it was a way of life. And now, except for this moment where I'm salivating, thinking about having it with certain foods, I. I don't even consider it anymore. It's so silly. But giving up something, keeping your word, it changes something in your brain. I am not smart enough to know what changes. Maybe it's like neurocircuitry. What is it like, neurons that fire together, wire together, like you're changing things. I don't know. But I do know that if you are on a health journey, at least from my perspective, one of the most incredible things you can do is have a never again moment with something, with anything. It's why, as part of Five to Thrive, which I've been talking about for, like, I don't even know how long. Five things that I do every day that make my life so much better, that have changed the course of my life. One of them, if you're challenging yourself, is to give up one category of food that you know you should not be eating. One category of food. I'm not asking you to go on a diet. I'm not asking you to restrict. I'm asking you to think of something you currently consume. Alcohol, cigarettes, processed food, fast food, gluten, because it makes you super bloated. Like Just anything you know you shouldn't be consuming. Don't go on a diet, just give up that category. There's this really powerful before and after moment when you actually stick with something. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. I am a recovering people pleaser. I spent most of my childhood learning that in order to be loved, I needed to make sure everybody liked me. And for some of us who have childhoods rooted in trauma, it goes way deeper than just being nice or just being kind or just being a good girl. And it becomes about this feeling of safety that is something I really had to learn to unlearn. And I can't imagine navigating my adult life, especially in the last 15 years, without the help of a therapist to guide me through that process. I remember going to therapy probably 10 or 15 years ago and thinking I was there to talk about stress or anxiety. But when we really uncovered the root cause of the stress and anxiety, it was about feeling like my in laws didn't like me. Sounds sort of frivolous and ridiculous, but for a lot of people that kind of thing can destroy our days. So I had to learn. And I really am so grateful for my therapist for guiding me through that process. If you have never considered all of the different ways that a therapist can help you navigate these sort of stigmas in your life, these things that you struggle with and don't really know a resolution for, you should check out BetterHelp. There is a reason that I have been partnered with them here on the show for years. BetterHelp is the number one online therapy. It's the world's largest therapy platform and you can find space to slow down and talk to someone who is just there for you. They have no idea or context about all the other people in your life. They're just helping you work through your stuff. You take a short questionnaire and it helps you to identify a therapist at Better Help that would work really well for you. And the great thing is if for some reason you try that therapist out and you don't totally dig them, that's cool, you can find another one really easily. Don't let stigma stand in the way of support. Start therapy with Better Help. Sign up and get 10% off@betterhelp.com Rach that's betterhelp.com Rach It's Halloween time at
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the Disneyland resort and Minnie's begun to brew up delights and spine tingling Fun. Halloween time August 21st through October 31st. Visit Disneyland.com or contact your travel advisor for important details.
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Second decision. Big, massive, huge decision for me. Waking up at 5am, joining the 5am club back in 2017, I am telling you right now, is one of the reasons, I'm not going to say the only reason, but is one of the reasons you even know my name. Deciding to get up at 5am Is how I wrote my first book. I have just published book number nine. I've written 10 books. I've published book number nine. That book would not exist if I had not found a process for writing books, doing my regular job and, and raising four kids. I made the decision to start waking up at 5am and honestly that happened. Cause I went to a conference and I was really pumped up and I wanted to find a way to keep the momentum and the energy of this personal development conference I had gone to. And I was like, I'm gonna start getting up at 5. And it actually ended up being great that it came right after this big, like momentous thing for me, which was attending a conference. And I actually think there's real power and kind of habit stacking something like this with like a big birthday or something exciting that's going on in your life. So you're keeping the energy of it going. But the 5am thing was me for the first time in my life, carving out time for myself, I suppose for the five minutes when I was, I don't know, 18, before I met my first husband, I suppose there were five minutes there where I had time and space to myself. And I think I honestly mostly utilized that. Going to Target and watching reality tv. I didn't know how good I had it. I didn't take advantage of all that free time. I watched a lot of reality TV, but I met my first husband 18, pretty quickly, got married pretty quickly, started having babies, started my first business around the same time that I had my first baby. But there just was always so much responsibility with other people who needed me. I don't care who you are. My instinct is that if you're listening to my show, you got a lot of people who are counting on you. You have friends, you have family members. Maybe you're taking care of mom and daddy. Maybe you've got kids you're taking care of. Maybe you're a leader in your community, a leader at your synagogue, a leader at work. Like you've got people who need you to be some things. And we're real good at that. And there is some pride in being the person who can be that for other people. It was my birthday a couple weeks ago. And on our birthdays, in our family, we have this tradition, which you should totally steal because it's so special. On our birthdays, we always do a family dinner so the kids will have their own birthday party celebration, whatever they want to do with their friends. But we do a family dinner, just the six of us, and the kids get to pick what they want to eat. And Kez and I make, like, a whole huge dinner for them based on their favorite food. And it was my birthday. And, like, we do for everybody after dinner, between dinner and dessert, you go around the table and everyone tells their favorite thing about you. And it's really cool because as you get older or based on the year that you've had, it changes. A lot of times, you'll hear some similar things, but for the most part, it changes. It's really cool to hear what the kids say about their siblings. And in this instance, it was really cool to hear what my son said about me. My oldest son, when it got to him, said, you know, mom, there's so many things that I love about you, but my favorite thing is that no matter what is going on in my life, you can help me solve it or you will fix it for us. And I sat with that. I'm still sitting with that a couple weeks later because I thought it was so interesting. Like, some people, when they're talking about their mom, would maybe say, like, oh, you know, you're so loving. You're so kind. You're. Whatever these characteristics that we tend to think of like mamas. But I. I'm not sure I've ever been more proud that that is what my son thinks of when he thinks of me, because I did not have that with either of my parents. I've never had that. I've never had a person that I could look to and say, no matter what, they'll help me solve this problem, or they can fix what's going wrong. That makes my heart so happy. I feel like I'm doing something right. I want my kids to always know that Mama has their back and that whatever happens, I will be there for them. I will do everything in my power. I'll talk them through it. We'll figure it out together. That's huge. And I bet that a lot of you have similar people, similar situations where, like, your family members, your kids, your people look at you and they're like, he's the one. She's the one. Like, they're the ones who will be there for me. That's incredible. It also is very easy to let that be your only identity and to lose your sense of self. So Back to the 5am thing. The 5am thing was huge because it was the first time that I realized I could carve out space for myself. Now, to be totally fair, because I do look at that time period with a bit of different perspective now, I should have understood that I was allowed to carve out that time during daylight hours. I did what a lot of people do, which is I had a dream on my heart to write this book. And I told myself that the only way that that dream could happen is if my dream didn't inconvenience anybody else. We are allowed to have dreams because we are humans and that is our birthright. And the fact that I didn't understand that I needed to, like, inconvenience myself as much as possible, so long as I didn't inconvenience anyone else, is ridiculous. But I didn't get that. And that's not even the point right now. That's a whole other podcast. Here's what came out of it. I started waking up at 5am I carved out the time for myself. I started chipping away at the book that I would eventually publish as my first published book. And a really interesting thing happened that I've talked to you guys about a lot over the years, and that when I was married, we had talked about a ton, which was my husband at the time hated that. I got up at 5am and he made a huge deal about it, and he threw a fit and he said I was being too loud when I woke up, and it was waking him. I'm a light sleeper. And like, when you get up early, I wake up and I don't want to wake up yet. And now I look back and I'm like, okay. Well, clearly my growth was triggering for him. For whatever reason. I didn't know that at the time. At the time, I just tried to make myself even smaller. I would wake up, I would ninja myself out of the bed. I would try and be as quiet as possible. But the biggest component here, and I want you to get this, is that it was the first time that an authority figure in my life was upset with me. And I kept doing it anyway. I had never experienced that. I had never felt empowered enough to be okay with someone being upset with me. That felt huge. And I didn't even, like, try and talk through it. I didn't try and solve the problem. I was just like, okay, I'll do everything I can to be as quiet as possible. But I'm going to still keep getting up and I did, slowly but surely one 5am session at a time. I wrote a book and that first book led to the second book led to the third led to the sixth which would eventually change my life. One decision and I hope you're getting both of these decisions on the surface don't seem like a big deal, but they represent something much bigger.
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It's Halloween time at the Disneyland resort and minis begun to brew up delights and spine tingling Fun Halloween time August 21st through October 31st. Visit Disneyland residential.com or contact your travel advisor for important details.
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The third decision I made, this one's business related, was to stop chasing money. Now my business career. Just quick backstory if you don't know. My very first company was I was an event planner in Los Angeles. The events company would eventually have a blog. That blog would get more popular, I would turn that blog into a lifestyle website. That lifestyle website led to me writing books and the rest is history. So I had an event planning firm here in Los Angeles and because it was my first foray into business, I'd never been an entrepreneur before. I only had one goal and the goal that I had was to make at least as much money in my first year of business that I was making as a salary in the job I had left behind. I was newly married, I had a mortgage, we had a little townhouse that we bought together. I was trying to pay that off so I needed to make money. So my only goal was to make money. That's a lot of entrepreneurs. First time goal, they're trying to make some cash. Obviously the problem with that is that as a new entrepreneur, all money seems the same where like that person's check is as good as that person's check is as good as that person's check. And if you've been an entrepreneur for a while, you're shaking your head right now because you know actually that is not true. All clients and all customers and all patients are not created equal. Some are worth a lot more money and require a lot Less effort. But I didn't understand that at the time. So I was like, I'll do any job, anywhere, anytime, I'll work forever. Like, please just give me a check. A big shift happened when I started to learn more about being an entrepreneur. If you're a small business owner and you're listening to this, you're like, I need to level up. Read as many books as you can get your hands on. Go to a business conference if you can afford it. Go watch videos online if you can't afford to go anywhere. But the more you educate yourself, the better you are going to be. Because the self awareness that gives you allows you to get perspective you didn't have before. The perspective I didn't have before was that I needed to know the exact kind of ideal client I wanted to speak to. I needed to know the exact kind of ideal client that could afford me at the level that I was at. Because as I elevated in my business and as I got more clout and more experience, I was worth more. Just like you are worth more. The more time you commit to your craft, you're going to be worth more. You have to raise your rates. I just hung out with a girlfriend and like our entire conversation was me for an hour trying to convince her to raise her rates because she hasn't raised her rates in like four years. My point is, I finally made the decision to quote, not chase money. That's sort of just what I called it at the time. I remember presenting it to my team at work. I said, we are no longer going to chase money. These are the minimum standards for the type of clients we want to work with. They need to have at least this much in their budget. They need to be in these categories. They need to be doing the kind of event that we're really great at. Like, we're not really great at these seven things. We need to stop doing those completely. We got really clear and focused on what it is we were in business to do and it completely changed our revenue. This was the example that I gave you guys at the top of something that I've actually been able to incorporate again and again so many times in business. And I don't know, I think this is something energetically. I've never heard anyone talk about this, but I'm convinced this is like some kind of energetic thing that when you call your shot and when you make the decision to change your business or frankly to change your life. But let's just use business for now. When you're like, you know what we have a new minimum standard. We're not going to do things the old way anymore. This is where we. I swear it is the exact moment that someone tries to back a Brinks truck up to your business to do the exact kind of thing that you swore you would not do. Every single time I have made the decision to want to change, I swear the universe is like, are you sure? Because here's a little carrot. And then you tell yourself a story. You're like, well, it's only this one. One more job. I'm gonna do it one more time. And then you get distracted for six months, and then you don't hit any of your revenue targets. Like, when you make a decision to quit chasing coins, the dollars start to roll in. When you make the decision to stop chasing dollars, that's when we deal with gold bars. But that decision, like, I'm not going to chase money, meant that I had to establish what it was that I wanted. Stephen Covey, who is like the godfather of every great quote ever, has one of my favorites, which is the main thing is to keep the main thing. The main thing. The main thing is the main thing is the main thing. It is so freaking easy to get distracted by the bright and shiny object. But when you make the decision to focus in on one area and to not do any of the little ancillary things, like if it can't be this, then I don't want that. That is one choice that changes everything. So here's my question. What's your choice? What's the decision? What is the one thing today that you need to make? Maybe you need to add something. Maybe you need to sign up for that class. Maybe you need to sign up for that conference. Maybe you need to sign up for a 5k or a half marathon. Yes, do it. You know how much I love to run. Maybe the decision you make is to stop doing something. Maybe you need to break up with her. Maybe you need to join the club or go back to therapy. I don't know what the one decision is, but I freaking promise you, if you get real quiet, if you sit down and you pray, you meditate, you journal today and you ask yourself, what's one decision I could make that would change me into the person I want to become? I can guarantee you two things. Number one, you're going to get an answer. And number two, you will not like what that answer is because you have known that answer for a long time. And we keep trying to find every which way we can to not admit what we Know we need to change. You don't have to change. That's my favorite thing to remind you all. You don't have to do anything. But then don't say you want life to be different. Don't say you want life to be different because you're not being honest with yourself. If you know what you need to do to change, but you're not doing it, just admit that you're not ready to change. I'm not ready to change. I want to be a better daddy, but you know what? I'm just not ready for that. I want to make more money, but I'm just not ready for that. Get brutally honest this year. Be fully in ownership of. Of your truth. You shouldn't be afraid of the truth. I don't want to be cheesy and say the truth will set you free, but the truth is the unlock. The truth is the data. The truth is what you need to know. So, yeah, what's your one decision that you need to make? Don't worry, I can help you figure it out. This is my second thing on the list. You will not be surprised to know how on earth do you figure out what that statement single decision is and what the choice needs to be for this one? I really sat with it because I felt like I didn't want to give you a canned answer. I didn't want to tell you something that you've heard a million times before. I really was like, okay, what is the thing that keeps us from knowing the decision we need to make? Like, if you're listening to this and you're like, I asked my inner wisdom and it was crickets and it hit me like a bolt of lightning. When you don't know the right decision to make, it's because you don't know the right direction to head. Meaning you don't know what you're trying to accomplish and therefore you don't know the decision. If you are clear on what you are trying to accomplish, then the decision is obvious every single time. This is strategy in life. If you know the ultimate goal, you can remove emotion from what needs to happen in order to get you to the ultimate goal. For instance, let's go back in the day when I was an event planner and one of my big, massive goals for my company was that I wanted to be known for my design of events. That was really important to me. It was something I found very inspiring. I felt like anybody almost could be an event planner, but the thing that would distinguish me from other people in my field was If I had a very distinct style of wedding planning or if I had a very distinct style. Style of event that I threw, and if I don't know that that is my ultimate goal, I can make a lot of decisions that'll just get me anywhere, but won't get me where exactly I want to end up. So if my goal is that I want to be known for a certain style of design, and I find a florist, let's say, who does incredible tablescapes, they're, like, really talented, and they bring so much to the collaboration, and I absolutely love them. And we work together on 10 events, and we're crushing it. It's so exciting. And I have 10 more brides who come to me and they're ready. They want to do the same kind of vibe that we have become known for. And the florist says, yes, I would love to keep helping you with these, but I now charge twice as much. Your ego, your emotion, your stories that you tell yourself could cause you in that moment to make it about you, to get upset, to be like, how dare you? Like, we've been. I. I helped make you who you are. And, like, I've given you all these things. And like, we had a deal. And we've been doing this to get, like, I can get really flustered. And this is what a lot of people do, by the way. They get really emotional about the situation, and then they cut off their nose to spite their face. They're like, well, I'm not going to work with you anymore because I'm not going to be gouged over these prices, and I'll find someone who charges less, and then I'll make more money. And ultimately, the event design suffers because you're not able to utilize that person that you had the shorthand with. The next people that you try out, they don't quite get it. The overall design suffers. All because you got emotional about the situation instead of seeing focused on where it is you're wanting to head. Now, let's look at this real quick. If the goal back then was, I want to make the most profit as an event planner and the florist says they're going to charge twice as much, well, then that partnership no longer aligns with my ultimate goal. But if my ultimate goal is the most beautiful wedding on the planet and I have a partner who can help me achieve that, it does not serve me to get emotional about their decision. It serves me to figure out a solution so we can make this work. So if you know where you're headed. If you know what the goal is, if you know what the main thing, you're trying to keep the main thing, you know, the decision. I was going back in my mind and I was like, what is the time in my life where I have felt the most indecisive? Like, what is the hardest season of my life where I was like, I'm not sure what I should do because I am by nature a very decisive person, but was there ever a time where I was like, I have no freaking idea what to do. And it gave me anxiety and it made me sick, and yes, of course, because I'm going to use it as an example for you guys. The pandemic. Like many business owners going into 2020, we were all so excited. 2020 vision. Like, this is going to be our year. We had six live events on the books for 2020. We had done two of them. I know some of you were at Rise in Florida and Rise in Toronto. So you remember those events. They were amazing. But we still had four events left to go in 2020, when in March, the pandemic set in, everyone went home, and I had a business and 60 employees that were built around doing events in person. We had no idea what to do. And by the way, I don't know that anybody had any idea what to do. I've looked back on that time period a lot over the years, and I've tried to figure out without emotion what I could have done better. I heard this quote once that said, when you can remember something without emotion, it's now wisdom. When you can remember the lessons, but they don't make you emotional anymore, you've acquired wisdom. I just love that idea. So I've looked back on this time period, which was just awful. So, so, so indecisive. And I remember had all of these executives who worked for the company, and I swear, every day for like, two weeks, it was like, what should we do? What should we do? What should we do? And no one knew what to do. And when no one knows what to do, they look at the CEO, which in that case was me, and everyone's like, rachel, what do we do? What do we do? What do we. And I'm like, I have no freaking idea. And I realize in retrospect, guys, this is so important in terms of advice. I, like, I really cannot stress this enough. The reason that time period was awful and the reason I was so indecisive is because I did not have clear vision of where we were going. If I had clear vision of where we were going. No pandemic on earth could keep me from knowing what to do next. No Black Swan event. Like, nothing could have stopped me from knowing what to do next. Because if I knew clarity and focus, I would just use that as the filter to figure out the next right decision. For instance, I had a clear vision that what we were going to do that year was have the strongest business in terms of revenue. I would have immediately shut down all operations. I kept employees on salaries, all the things. I think I finally like, completed layoffs. I want to say, 18 months later, it might have been two years. If my ultimate vision for the company was making smart business decisions strictly from a revenue perspective, I would have very quickly been like, I am so sorry, you guys. We cannot do the business that is what makes us money, and we are going to have to give you beautiful severance packages and call it until this passes. That is, if I wanted to have the strongest business from a revenue perspective, if I wanted to have the strongest business in the live event space, I would have been like, okay, we are now in the virtual event business. And I bet some of y' all will remember we did virtual events. I want to say we were probably the first personal development company to figure out how to live stream a virtual conference. We did rise Live Courage. It was amazing. We had amazing speakers. We had hundreds of thousands of people come. It was financially so successful for us, but then it was like, I don't know what else to do, and sort of stumbled and fell. Because my ultimate focus wasn't to dominate the event space. If it had been, I'd be like, okay, let's do another one. Okay, let's do another one. And let's keep doing these events until we can get back to in person events. Now here's a totally different alternative. In 2020, during this time period, I was going through a divorce. If my ultimate goal for that year was to take the space to heal, to be able to slow down, well, then again, I would have stopped doing a lot of the operations we were doing as a company. And I would have just allowed myself to have the time and space to breathe and figure out my life. But the reason I didn't do any of those things and I spent kind of three years throwing crap at the wall, sort of manically trying to figure out, oh my gosh, what? I was only focused on the employees. That was my only focus, was like, how do we make enough money to keep all of these people employed? And that ended up creating a lot of Just a lot of chaotic everything. But I hope you can see how if the focus is clear, the decision is obvious. So if you don't know what decision you need to make, it's because you don't know where you're trying to get to. The third thing I want you to think about in this decision making process is that sometimes we know exactly what the decision is, but we get stuck in analysis paralysis. We will debate and debate and try and figure it out. And I know for some people, like especially super analytically minded peeps, that feels like the safe choice. Like if we can just keep analyzing this from every angle, then we can make the safe decision. It actually just becomes this avoidance technique that keeps us from having to do anything. And the longer we don't do anything, the greater the fear gets around making a decision. It sounds so stupid, but I think that the answer to this is that you actually literally just do anything. You do anything, anything in any direction to get you unstuck is more empowered than where you are right now. But on the flip side, if you're someone who tends to run off in a bunch of directions, keep making decisions, they're not informed, there's no clarity behind them. You don't know what you're doing. This is a really good example. I didn't mean to include so much business stuff today, but it's serving its purposes. Another thing that we do in business is cost risk analysis. And I think you can kind of do this in any area of your life, which is essentially to just weigh it all out. Okay, what is this decision going to cost me in terms of time? What is this decision going to cost me in terms of money? What is the potential roi? Meaning will I get a return on the investment of this time and money? Are there potential pitfalls to making this decision? Like get a notebook, write it all out, weigh everything and then see where you are based on facts. But make a decision and move forward. Make a decision and don't look back. It does not serve you to go, oh man, well, I should have maybe. And then if I did that and no, we're not there anymore, don't look backwards. You are not going that way. Weigh all the pros and cons, but don't forget this piece that a lot of people do when they get paralyzed by analyzing is to also include the return on investment over the course of time. So I heard the craziest stat the other day that I have not stopped thinking about the lifetime value, the ltv. Hope you all know what that means. If you own a business, the lifetime value of a customer is not the one transaction they do with you. It is how much they transact with you over time. And I heard the craziest stat, which is the lifetime value of a Starbucks customer is $14,000. Which makes sense, right? If you like Starbucks, you go to Starbucks often, or even like me. Sorry, no shade. I'm not a big fan of Starbucks. I don't think their coffee is very good. But if I'm traveling and that's the option, you better believe I'm getting my triple shot espresso and my oatmeal. The lifetime value of a customer who does business, this is on average, certainly there are people who do more, maybe people who do a little bit less. $14,000. Now, I find this amazing because you know how people run ads? Like, they'll run ads on, let's say, Facebook or Instagram or maybe with Starbucks, they're fancy, so maybe their ads are on TV or their ads are on billboards. They'll spend money on advertising. And it would be so easy to look at that and go like, wow, that's a lot of money to spend on a $5 cup of coffee. Like, if the cost of acquiring that customer through a Facebook ad is like $4, but then you make five, you only made a dollar on the customer. A person who's new in business would think that's not really a great investment. It actually totally is. But whatever. Or even if you break even, or maybe you even lose money on that customer doing business with you, that's because you're not taking into account the benefits of that situation over the course of time. So maybe you're like, okay, if I sign up for a gym and I need to get a personal trainer, because I know myself and I will not stay committed. I need an accountability partner. And you know what? I can afford it. So I'm actually going to meet with a nutritionist this year, too. And it's so crazy. It's a lot of money. Like, I can afford it, but, like, it's such a crazy amount of money, and I just don't know. And you do this cost risk analysis, and you figure out that actually it's going to cost you a lot of money this year. And. And so you hold off on doing the thing because the financial investment and the time investment, it just all seems like a lot. That is because you are not taking into account how that decision plays out over the next year, over the next five years, the next 10, the next 15, the next 20 for the rest of your life. You're experiencing massively improved health because of a decision you made today. So if you're going to take all of these things into account, promise me that you will also take into account what this looks like with compounded interest. Most of the time these decisions, they're going to cost us something up front, but the payoff on the back end is worth going through all of that hardship to get where you're trying to go. My last piece of advice on this and if you are digging this episode, if you feel like you got something out of it, what you please help me spread the word. Will you send just send it to one person that you think would dig the conversation too. Extra credit if you want to put it on your social, but at the very least share it with your mama, your sister, your husband, somebody that needs to hear that they are one decision away from changing their life. Here's my last piece of advice. Don't go backwards. Don't go backwards. Do not ever go lower than where you are today. There is a chapter in the new book which I hope you have listened to on audible or got from the library or borrowed from your sister if you want to grab it the links in the show notes. But there is a chapter that asks you not what your ceiling is, but what is your floor. What is your floor? What is the standard, the minimum standard that you have set for yourself in this area of life that you are committing to right now, now, never going back down below this. And it can be as simple as like I commit for the rest of my life to drink a glass of water every morning when I wake up. It could be that simple. It could be I commit for the rest of my life that every time I'm going to go interact with my in laws rather than get stressed out. I'm going to emotionally prepare myself in advance. I'm going to dance around to Beyonce. I'm going to go in and be love and light and be the thermostat, not the thermometer for the rest of my life. I'm going to be that person. Whatever it is that makes sense for you and makes this and makes sense for this decision. Hear me, if you backslide once you're done, if you backslide once, you have to start again. This has to be a never again situation. What we're talking about today, one decision that will change your life. You cannot go back. This is not casual. This is. Are you committed or are you interested? Because if you are committed, you understand we're flipping a switch here from one moment to the next that fast you can change your entire life. But there are no if, ands or buts. There's no maybes. There's no well, just this once. No, you can't do that. You can't be half in, half out. In fact, if you're half in half out in certain areas of your life, be real. That's why you're not where you want to be. Go all in and see what happens. Go all in, fully committed in one area of your life and watch what happens. It is impossible to make a change like that and not have it affect other areas. I swear to you, you are one decision away from changing everything. Because when you successfully make one decision and you stick with is impossible not to go. Well, wonder what else I could do. I wonder what would happen if I tried this. I wonder what would happen if I made one decision at work. I wonder what would happen if I made one decision with my spiritual practice. I wonder what would happen if I made one decision with how I parent one decision. You get to make it and it can change everything. I hope that this conversation was helpful guys. Hope you got something out of it and you'll share it with a friend. We will be back tomorrow. We'll be back every day. Monday through Friday. New episodes all the time. Check back in, get some ideas, get some pump ups, get some ask Rach answers. Get get it all. We're here for it. We'll be back soon. Until then, as always, y', all, I love you and I'm rooting for you. The rachel hollis podcast is produced by me, rachel hollis. It's edited by andrew weller and jack noble. Those precious, magical moments you'll always cherish at Disney Cruise Line, we cherish them too. Make the memories that never leave you. Disney Cruise Line where magic meets the sea.
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