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Heather McMahon
The following podcast is a dear media production. Welcome to the Absolutely Not Podcast, where we do the most and the least at the same damn time. I'm your host, Heather McMahon. Hello, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to another episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast. I'm your host, Heather McMahon. How are you? I got my shades on because I'm tired. How are we doing? I hope you are fantastic. Ooh, guys, it is. It is June 1st. The first day of pride month, the first day of summer. You know, the gays, theys, thems, and me's, we're all excited for a break. Okay. We are excited for a break. Ray said he was on his queried, and I said, if you ever, ever say that again, I will punch you in the dick, and that will be a hate crime that I will follow through on. Okay. No, but it's the first day of June, and if you remember a couple episodes back, I said, I will cry when. When June comes. That's when I will have time to really feel my feelings. Name the emotion. Lean into the exhaustion. And I did. Last night, I watched the series finale of Hacks Shout out to Lucia and Jen and Paul. They don't know me, but I know them. And they wrote a show that has just been unbelievably near and dear to my heart, because it's like looking in the mirror like, I am Deborah Vance, but nicer. I would absolutely install a Diet Coke machine, a Diet Coke fountain machine into my home. So. But I watched the finale, and I'm just hysterically crying, and I won't give anything away, but I am just, like, sobbing in bed. And I looked at Jeff, and he's so swee. He's like, you're taking this finale really, really, really hard. And he's like, Babe, it's June 1st. You said you were gonna cry when you got to June, you're crying, and I'm like, this is really beautiful. I like this show. I love making art. I finished the special. Like, just had the hardest cathartic cry yesterday. So we are a little puffy today. We're back at it. We're in the studio, and I have so much to be grateful for and thankful for y'. All. Thank you to everybody who came out to the special. Y' all really showed up. Some of y' all showed your asses, but a lot of y' all showed up, and I just. I cannot thank you enough. You know, we had the amazing couple who we redid some of their wedding photos on the cruise. They were there both nights, front Row, shout out to my boy James, who was there front row both nights. I mean, some people have really traveled, traveled from far off places to come support and see this show a million times. And when you shoot a special, it's a totally different experience. Like, I'm more like, I have to restart some jokes and you have to pick things up while you're doing it because it's recording. I will say, the first night on Friday, you know, we go out there and we warn everybody, hey, this is not like your typical show. Like, I'm gonna do crowd work, I'm gonna get into it. But please, just like, don't heckle, don't yell random shit. Because we. We have spent a small fucking fortune. There are cameras picking up every noise. If you fart in your seat, it's a ripple effect. And guess what? I got it on film. Okay, Candy camera, I gotcha. Hey, Ro Ro K. Seat 12, quit tooting. Cause I can hear it. And some of these gals on the Friday night show were just like, yelling shit. I mean, all sorts of things. And I'm. I love the participation. But when you have spent hundreds of thousands of dollars on cameras, you're like, hey, can we just hold. Can we hold the questions till after? And then this one woman, who I think we might end up leaving it in the special, she was just so cute, and she was actually so genuine. And she was sitting in a nice animal print, a line dress. And she looked at me and there was a beat in between one of my bits. And she just goes, how are your dogs? How were the dogs? I'm worried about the dogs. And I was like, thank you so much in the middle of this special for asking me how my dogs are. The dogs are good. If you have never seen that video, go on YouTube, TikTok, Instagram right now and just type in the girls. Don't forget about the girls. And it is this epic video of 2 this. Speaking of pride, these fabulous gay lovers. And they're clearly hammered. Like, one of the guys has been drinking. They have a delayed flight situation. And this guy is chewing out an American Airlines employee. And he's like, we gotta get home. And then his partner is yelling, telling him, shut up. Don't forget about the girls. If you get arrested, we can't get to the girls and the girl. And then he says, dolly and Shelby, and everyone thinks they're kids. No, I know. Dolly and Shelby are purebred goldendoodles. That's the only thing that Dolly and Shelby could be. This couple may actually have children. But I know when they talk about the girls, they're talking about getting back to their dogs. So that woman just reminded me so much on Friday. How are the dogs? I'm like, what are. I just did an Epstein joke. What are we doing here? But I was grateful she was there. Y' all really showed out. And then Saturday night show. Cause I know I. I had a lot of friends that came to both nights. Saturday night show was so perfect. I was in the pocket. I was in the zone. I was able to do what I needed to do. The audience was really well behaved. They got it. They. They were in the zone. Truly, I cannot thank you guys enough. Y' all really showed up for me, and I am so, so, so incredibly grateful. So incredibly grateful for everybody, you know, just the support. I'm so grateful for everybody who bought merch, who bought tickets, who got a babysitter, who made a weekend of it, who traveled, who bought flights for the whole tour. Like, you guys give me the ability to do what I love to do, which is to make you giggle. And as long as you will continue to have me, I hope that I can continue to do this because I had so much fun. And when I tell you the fitness, the set, this is the best special ever period yet. This is the one. Fuck the other ones. This is the one. The outfit is sick. And I haven't. You know, I haven't given you a sneak peek yet, but. Shout out to Sam and Jill at the. The team at snl, who I just love and adore them. They built this from scratch. Shout out to show me your moomoo for getting us and sourcing us. The. The materials and the fabric and the print. It's so good. It is animal print. It is fierce. It is fabulous, and I've never felt better. So really, really, really cannot thank enough people for. For pulling this together and helping me. So if you guys came out to the show, y' all were awesome. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Will say, I had never spent that much time in Knoxville before, and this is not a diss on Knoxville, because I still. I love ut. I'm so. You know, shout out to the balls. Shout out to the girls. All the girls who came out, the guys and. And the men and everybody. I'll tell you what, though I had not realized what an edge that city has there, I ended up under the bridge on my way to a very fancy pizza place. And when I tell you there were some tweakers, I found Tweaker City. And you Sometimes forget, even in the south, when you're kind of at the base of the Rocky. Not the Rockies. Oh, my God, the Smokies. When you're at the base of the Smokies, you kind of forget you're in this utopic little college town. But, you know, these tweakers were coming down from the holler. They had just gotten off that Appalachian Trail, and they came down from the holler, and they were standing outside of a real nice pizza place. This place was delicious and Adopo, I think its name was. But they were out there scratching their necks, looking for a little, you know, a little something. So we pull up to this nice pizza place. I walk my mom to the door, and Jeff is sitting in the car, and there's, like, five tweakers that come, and they're trying to. They're, like, changing outfits in their car next to us. And I'm like, what are we gonna do? And he's like, well, we're gonna wait and see where the tweakers go. They did a quick change. Everybody just went into the car, took their tops off, men and women, bras on, and then got out of the car and then went back onto the bridge, and we were like, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. Okay, quick change. Quick change in Knoxville. So that was fun. I liked kind of being in a city with a little bit more edge than I had expected. And listen, I don't think of Knoxville as, like, a big city. I think of it as a college town. But it is a big city. It really is. I just. When I think of sec, I think of these tiny little towns, and I forget they're connected to cities like Oxford, Mississippi is a tiny little town. I wouldn't even call it a city. It is the city of Oxford, but it's a little utopic society. And, honey, let me tell you something right now. Maybe the tweakers were there because the kids were out of school, but you would never see a tweaker at the University of Mississippi, honey. We would put them on a bus and send them down to Jackson. Come on, now. Come on now. No, but it was, you know, I. I love seeing the grid. A little bit of edge. We had a little after party after the Saturday night taping. We went to one of the college bars, like, on the main strip. And I haven't smelled a college bar smell like that in a minute, where you walk in and you're like, oh, yes, somebody puked in the corner. That's what's up it was Randy, but somebody did it. You know when you walk into a college bathroom and you're like, the toilet's overflow. The toilet has overflowed this entire evening. But I'm seven MC ultras deep, and there's a cigarette dispenser machine right outside that also had vapes and zins. I was like, this is. This is perfect. This is heaven. The only thing that would make this even better is a little chicken tender strip basket. And we ended up at McDonald's. It's myself, Logan Crosby, my girlfriend Angelique, my girlfriend Carolyn, Jeff Raymond. We are all Jeff. Daddy pulls up in the Big Tahoe. And I haven't had McDonald's in forever. Now, I'm not saying that because, like, I'm better than McDonald's. I did not grow up on McDonald's because I'm from Atlanta. It was Chick Fil A or bust. And Robin did not allow us to have fast food. We were. I never grew up on a subway. I never grew up on a Taco Bell. I know that it's shocking that somehow I am a fat person, but I did not grow up on fast food. I would. I was allowed to have a Hardee's butter biscuit on the way to school with an orange juice. Talk about a glucose spike. Or Chick fil A. Those were the only two things that we really dabbled in. And Waffle House. We never did Happy Meals as kids. The only time we would go to McDonald's to get a Happy Meal is when they were selling the beanie babies, when McDonald's and Beanie Babies did a collaboration. If you don't think that Robin McMahon was taking me to get Happy Meals every fucking day after school because we were trying to run a side hustle for the Beanie Babies. And we would throw the hamburger out and I would have the fries. So I hadn't been at a McDonald's in a minute, and I was starving, and I'd had a couple beverages. So we pull up to the McDonald's across from the Graduate shout out to the Graduate Hotel in Knoxville. And I'm leaning out the. I'm leaning out the window. Okay, I gotta say something. Jeff is so bad at ordering. He and I know that as women, you know, we can't complain. Like, hurry up. But you're not doing it my way. And Jeff's like, you want me to take initiative, but you won't let me do it my way. I'm like, well, could you take too long? So I've told Jeff this before. When you be efficient. Like I worked in restaurants, so I'm very particular in efficiency when it comes to ordering, right? And this is how I would order. You roll up to the window. Hey, what's up, man? You having a good night? Great. Listen, what's your name? Daniel. Daniel, I'm gonna get a number five, I wanted a Sprite with sweet and sour sauce, extra ketchup. Then I'm gonna get a number seven fish filet. Da, da da. And you rattle it off and you tell them, you don't wait for them to ask you what? We'll be at a nice restaurant. And Jeff does that. They come over and they're like, sir, you're having the bone and rib eye. And Jeff's like, I am. One, one thousand, two one thousand, three one thousand. And then the follow up question is always going to be, what do you want for your side? And what do you want the temperature? And then Jeff always acts surprised. They're like, oh, and for your side. And he's like, oh, maybe a loaded baked potato, you know, And I'm like, seven one thousand, ten one thousand, one Mississippi. And I'm just thinking, Jeff, just go ahead and tell her the temperature. Just go ahead and tell her the motherfucking temperature on the steak. But instead he waits for them to ask and sir, what temperature? Like for fuck's sake, spit it out. So Jeff's trying to order for like 12 people in the car. And I'm like, no, I'm being a bully, sorry. Roll up. And me and me and this guy are talking. I go, listen, I'm going to tell you right now, fully loaded, I haven't been to a McDonald's drive thru in probably 15 years. I want one of everything on the menu. And then I'd like to do a full blown zipline dip of all the different sauces you have. I'm probably going to film a mukbang, can we handle that? And he was like, yeah. And I said, and for drinks, give me five Coke Zeros, two Sprites, a sweet tea and one water. Can we handle that? He's like, yes ma', am, I got it. I said, hell yeah. That's how to be efficient. Jeff knows nothing annoys me more than when a a server. Whether it's fast casual drive thru or at a Michelin star restaurant, nothing drives me nuts more than when he doesn't spit out the full order. This is how you order a fucking steak, Jeff. Hey there, how are you? What's the name? Kayla. Kayla, we're glad to be here. Kayla, I'm going to start with a nice, nice, slightly dirty Chopin martini with blue cheese, stuffed olives. Got it. Great. And then for my entree, I am going to do the bone in ribeye. 16 ounce. Can I do that? Medium? I'm gonna add the chimichurri sauce and I am gonna do the leonaise potatoes. Fantastic. And then swing back around for dessert. Cause you know your girl loves a sweet treat. And that's how you do it. Efficient, made eye contact. Was able to ask Kayla about herself, but while also not having. Having to have her pander to you. What's next? Would you like a sauce? Do you want a salad? Do you want a this? Like, I will scream at Jeff. I told him, I said thank you for being the sober driver and driving us to McDonald's, but you need to spit it the fuck out. Here I am drinking my Chick Fil A. That's who I'm loyal to. And I know it's the first day of pride month, but most of the gays that I know are still do the Chick Fil A's. So here we go. This episode of the podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is the all in one website platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online. And whether you're just starting out or scaling your business, Squarespace gives you everything you need to claim your domain, showcase your offerings with a professional website, grow your brand, and get paid all in one place. Why would you try and make your life harder when you could just use Squarespace? 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Of a website or domain. Again, that is squarespace.com use offer code absolutely to save 10% off your first Purchase of a website or domain. Check out Squarespace and then call me later and thank me when you love it. Just because summer break has started does not mean that it is not also chaotic in your brain, at your home, with your family, all of those things. And this is why I love Better Help. This episode of the podcast is brought to you by Better Help. Better Help is just. It's freaking awesome. And if you're wondering if you want to thrive versus survive this summer, then you should check out Better Help. Listen. With over 30,000 therapists, better help is the world's largest online therapy platform, Having served over 6 million people globally and it works with an average rating of 4.9 out of 5 stars for a live session based on over 1.7 million client reviews. 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Built members also get access to a neighborhood concierge. It can make restaurant reservations, book fitness classes and find new local spots, all while being rewarded at more than 45, 000 merchant partners. It's like having a personal assistant baked into where you live. It's simple. Being a renter and now owning a home is better with built. Join the membership for where you live@joinbuilt.com. absolutely. That's J-O-I-N-B-I-L-T.com. absolutely. Make sure you use our URL so they know that we sent you again. Let me give that to you one more time. That J-O-I N B I L-D.com. absolutely. Anyhow, we did a little mukbang that we'll, we'll post of the McDonald's. I mean, the fry still hit. I get it. The fry still hit. But Logan was like beside himself. He could not believe that I did not grow up on McDonald's. I was like, Logan, I'm telling you right now, I have one of those granola moms. We were not a food house. We were an ingredients house. And then Robin would make chicken piccata from scratch, but she did not take you to a McDonald's after a football game. We were on a full like 30 day nonstop McDonald's streak when we were trying to get the mini beanie babies that came in the Happy Meal. And I think honestly, I did tap into a little bit of childhood obesity and diabetes. That, that, that run that we had, it was a wild run while we had it, but it was a run. So we did it. But we just had the best time. And I just feel so grateful to everybody who came out and we were having a blast. And, and then that drive, man, and let me tell you what, that drive, that drive back from Knoxville, we stopped at the BUC EE's right outside of Ringgold, Georgia. And Ringgold, Georgia is where I picked up my two little babies. That's where we picked up Bronson, my sister's dog. And rigatoni, you know, macaroni. I got her from Mississippi. That's a whole nother story. But either way, we stopped at that Buc EE's. And a Sunday at Buc EE's is a wild experience. Talk about other people who had come down from the holler. I'm not even exaggerating. At the busiest moment, at like 3 o' clock on a Sunday, while people are coming and going up 75 at the Georgia Tennessee border, there must have been 800 people in that well oiled machine of a store. And I think we all had collectively maybe 110 teeth amongst us all. And that is not me putting down people who can't afford dental care, because I don't know. But when I say my we was extra dental. And if you know that reference, your father forced you to watch Deliverance, which was a really fucked up dark movie about Appalachia. And if you really want to get spooky, you need to watch the. What do they call them? Like skinwalkers? Watch the Appalachian ghost stories on Instagram or TikTok. And people who live out there say that if you ever hear your name or a baby cry or scream while you're out in the woods, do not turn around because it's the devil. It's the devil. If you really want to get spooked out, watch some scary stories about Appalachia. And everybody who's from, you know, that area is just like, hey, that is what it is. You know, Daddy taught us. Daddy taught us that when we hear that baby cry in the woods, it ain't no baby. It's a skin walker. And that is also why I love the south, because we have a lot of lore and we're obviously just kind of marinating at a different frequency. We're on a different channel than a lot of other folks. But even I can get. I can, you know, I'm from the big city of Atlanta. So even when I get out in the cut, I kind of look around sometimes and go, all right, okay, okay. Yeah. So I can. I too can be a judgmental bitch at a Buc EE's at 3pm on a Sunday, which is not the place to be a judgmental bitch. I should never do that. Okay? But as a white, as a white woman, y' all know there's a particular type of man that, that you see. There's a particular type of Southern man who's a little more road hard, put away wet than the rest of them. And when you make eye contact with them at a Buc Ees, you kind of get that cool shiver down your spine and you're like, I'm Gonna get to the truck as quickly as I can. You know what I mean? You're like, I'm gonna put a little pep in my step. Maybe I don't need those Buc EE's corn nuggets the way I thought I did. I'm just gonna head back to the truck. Oh, yeah, I'm gonna head back to the truck. So anywho. But no, we had a really great time. And when I tell you I crashed hard on Sunday, I was still a little wired, a little excited. I couldn't really take a nap. I was just too, you know, the adrenaline was still pumping. And then on Monday, I didn't brush my teeth till 4pm I got up, I sat outside with the dogs to try and regulate my vitamin D. I brushed my teeth at 4, had an iced coffee at 5, and then was back asleep from 5 to like 9 o'. Clock. Woke up, ate some sushi, watched the season finale, series finale of Hacks. Bawled my eyes out for two hours, then took a weed gummy and went back to sleep. So I'm still not regulated. Your girl is not regulated. I'm feeling a little topsy turvy. And that is the thing. I'm either full work mode. Like I'm shooting a special, I've got an audition that day, I've got to do 18 script changes, DA da da da. Or I'm a full day off. There is no in between. And now my. My team, my agents and my manager are like, well, can you do an audition this week? Can you do this? Guys, you're looking. I'm in the fucking podcast studio right now. I'm recording this at 3pm I rolled out and I. For an hour and a half today, Ricatoni and I just looked into each other's eyes and then he vomited afterwards. I don't know what that was, but it's. Physically, my body is just like, oh, my God, we did it. Hold on, I gotta take this Chick Fil a straw. I got something stuck in my tooth. Hold on. This is now this some country shit right here. Hold on. I swear to God, I had a kale salad at Chick Fil a on the way down here. Oh, got it, got it. Thank God. Thank God. Thank you. True Kathy, but we are not working with a full deck. We're not running on full cylinders. I'm like, pretty much struggling to stay awake right now because my body just shut down. It was, you know, I pulled that motorcade into the RV park and it went shoom engine down and Then Jeff was trying to, like, be proactive and get shit, shit done yesterday. And he was poking and prodding me and asking me a lot of questions. And he said at one point he came around and I was asleep. We have these epic linen and flax couches in our basement. Like, our basement is like a hangout spot. So we have these epic couches that basically, if you take off the back pillows, it's like a full, full bed. The most comfortable couches. I will get 10 more of them for my new house. And I fell asleep, and he said he came around and had to check my pulse. That's how deep I was in a nap. And I love a Monday where you just don't give a fuck. Like, since I work every weekend, Mondays are kind of my Sundays, and I took advantage of it. And then everybody who helps me make money had the audacity and the gall to try and ask me to do things this week. I said, mama needs four days. I gotta get my upper lip waxed. I need to go get dry needled, and I need to get, you know, my pussy refreshed because we did it hard on that bamboozled tour. Also, speaking of getting dry needled, I wanna give the biggest shout out to Ryan, who owns Foothills Physical Therapy, one of the nicest guys I've ever met. I. He. He stayed after hours to get me in on Thursday night when I got into Knoxville to help me re put my hips together, he. He dry needled me, cupped me. He's an incredible, incredible, incredible person and physical therapist. So if at all, at any time you need a tweak, go check him out. If you're in Knoxville, go to Foothills Physical Therapy. He will change your life. Tell him I sent you. Thank you. Thank you so much. He was such a sweetheart. And he just runs an incre over there, an amazing operation, and he's one of those guys who has a healing heart and healing hands. And you know when you meet somebody and you just can tell they've got good energy, he's one of them. So I gotta give him a shout out. All right, let's see what's going on. What else? Enough about me. Oh, dude. This is how diabolical my brain is, though. I the. The morning of the special on Friday, my Air France points that I bounced over from Chase finally hit. So I am booking vacation flights while I should be working on notes for the special. And I spen about 45 minutes, completely disassociating and planning my trip. But Jeff and I are going. We're going to Florence for our anniversary. Then we're going to Loire Valley and Jeff's gonna play golf and I'm gonna drink wine and then we're gonna do two nights in Paris and come back and we are so excited. So a lot of fun things happening. I'm still working this month, you know, I'm running to LA next week. Jen and I are off to script. We have a show that we are working or developing for Hulu right now. So I'm gonna go to LA next week for a couple days and just be Tink. But when I tell you your girl is the rest of the week, check my pulse because I'm not moving. I'm not moving. I am down. I am on the basement couch for a seven hour daily nap. That's where I am. So it is really hard for me to put on the dog right now, y'.
- [29:05]
Voicemail Callers / Listeners
All.
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Heather McMahon
We were laughing so hard. Brittany, Amber, of course came and they were just glamming it out. And then my sweet, sweet love, Casey, he was doing makeup and we were just laughing so hard. And I feel so blessed to have good people around me, good people in my camp. I mean, just everybody, everybody got along. You know, there's nothing better than when you are sitting in that chair and you know, you were putting on the dog and Britt and Amber just making me laugh so hard and Casey's making me laugh and Andrew and Jen and I are working on cleaning up the act and, and Ray's in the other room giggling and laughing and Tina's coming in, telling us what to do and, and giggling and laughing and it was just really one of those gorgeous utopic Kumbaya moments this weekend. And I just, I, I, my heart is so filled because I, I just said, I told everybody, we, we did a big champagne cheers on Saturday night afterwards, I for helping me live my dreams and I hope that I get to help you guys do yours as well. But it is such a, it really is the company that you keep. And if you're around a bunch of fucking negative Nancy's and douche lords, you're going, that's the energy you're going to carry. But when you surround yourself with good folk, you're going to have good things. But what else is happening? So, yeah, I'm going on. Jeff and I are packing, we're moving, we're grooving. You know, I can always tell who doesn't listen to the podcast the amount of folks that will DM me and be like, you're moving? If I. If I say something on Instagram, you're moving since when? And I just want to say, you know what, Carol? Maybe tune into the Absolutely not podcast. I'm your biggest fan. No, you're not. When was the last time you came to a show? 2019. You're not. Yeah, I'm moving, and I'm not telling you my new address. Okay, forget it.
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Pregnant Caller
It.
- [30:49]
Heather McMahon
What else is happening, though? Ooh. Guys, I. I'll tell you what. Right now, I am excited about the NBA playoffs. Go with me here. Go with me here. You know, I'm not really a basketball girly. I've said this years ago. I. The. The sound of the sneakers really gives me a migraine. But I am a basketball girly now. And we got to go to some of the Knicks games and shout out to the Knicks. I am fully behind the Knicks. I hope they win, because New York needs this now. I'm also Atlanta Hawks fan. You know that I am. I'll always be an ATL girly, but there's something about the energy at MSG with the New York Knicks. It's. It's next level. So hold on. Let me put on my Knicks app. But Tina and I were talking. Oh, wow. Oh, this is a look. Tina and I were talking, and she needs this win like this. My girl has been dialed in. The Knicks need to do it for my girl Tina. So I want to check real quick, because the game starts tomorrow, or when this airs, the game will be on. The New York Knicks are going to the NBA championship. They're playing the San Antonio Spurs. Now, I'm going to pull this up real quick, because I don't. I saw a couple witches on Tik Tok saying that it's written in the stars that the spurs are going to win. But I want to see what the prediction market says. And so I've just put this up on polymarket. Polymarket saying right now. Okay, interesting. Polymarket is saying right now, San Antonio spurs up 64%. New York Knicks 36%. Prediction. So I don't know. Nobody better tell Tina. Cause Tina is. She's Knicks or bust. And I am fully in support of the Knicks. I am so dialed into this. For some reason, I really want the New York Knicks to have a moment. New York's having a moment. Like, we're back, baby. I say, we're back. I used to pay taxes there. We're back. But the prediction market right now does have the spurs up. You know, I. The only thing I know about the spurs, and I like San Antonio. But all I remember is Tony. What was Tony Parker? Is it Tony Parker? He played for the Spurs. Yeah, Tony Parker. And he used to date Ava Longoria and then he cheated on her, I'm pretty sure. So that's all, that's my only understanding history about the Spurs. But you know what? I'm feeling a little Timothee Chalamet. Go Knicks, go. Go New York. Go New York, go. That's what I'm feeling. And I may be an ATL girly gripping my chick fil a cup, but I'm feeling Go New York, go New York, go. Oh, I'd also love to see who we think's going to be on the front row. It's going to be Tina Fey. It's going to be Tracy Morgan, obviously Timothy Shalamet. It's going to be Ben Stiller. I know he is. He's got year round tickets, season tickets. Couldn't get the words out. Kylie will be there. You know, it'll be those iconic New Yorkers. But I really am rooting for the Knicks. I don't love that the poly market has them not winning right now and I don't love that the witches on Tick Tock also agree. But I, I'm gonna trust in the Lord and we're gonna pray for the Knicks. All right, let's get into the voicemails. I want to know what y' all have been up to. I've been so up in my own bullshit. It's so unbelievable. Like truly just doing my own bullshit. Let's see what you all have been up to.
- [34:06]
Pregnant Caller
Hey Heather, in a bit of a dilemma here and I really need your advice. I'm going to remain anonymous. So I've only been seeing someone for two months and it's been so easy. Like you said, it should be easy in the beginning. I'm 35. I've been manifesting this forever, it feels like, but it's going really great. I feel so sure about him and you know, he feels the same. And this morning I just found out that I'm pregnant and it's like he already has an 8 year old daughter from a college relationship where she got pregnant after a month. And he describes it as a really traumatic experience. And I know this is different, I know this is different, but I'm freaking out because how do you tell someone, a man that you're pregnant when you've known each other for two months? How do you what? Please give me your advice. I'm terrified. I'm not. I mean, yes, I'm terrified of the pregnancy and having a child. Yes, but that, that will be okay. And I know it.
- [35:04]
Knoxville Fan Caller
It.
- [35:04]
Pregnant Caller
I'm terrified of telling him because all signs point that he is a good, good person and he'll respond, great, but you know, what if he doesn't. But how do you say it?
- [35:15]
Knoxville Fan Caller
How do you say it?
- [35:17]
Pregnant Caller
Please help me. Thank you. I love you so much.
- [35:20]
Heather McMahon
I love you so much. Thank you for calling in. Okay, well, I'm going to tell you what not to do first. Do not record it. You know what I mean? Don't record it.
- [35:31]
Pregnant Caller
It.
- [35:31]
Heather McMahon
Because I don't know what my algorithm's doing on the interwebs right now, but all I keep getting is videos of people who have probably been like, actively trying to get pregnant for a long time, which is very sweet. Like, it's a lot of. I'm getting a lot of infertile women. And I can say that because I, I too have like one egg left. A lot of infertile women who've been, you know, I get the videos where they're like, I've been trying for 10 years. And finally. And they're very sweet and we're all sobbing and it's just like the sweetest video you've ever seen. Don't do that, though. Or don't do a video where you surprise him. You're in a Popeyes drive thru and you're like, surprise. We're not going to do a video. No, no. And I. And one. Congratulations. This is very exciting for you. And I know that this is probably not how you thought it was going to go down or how, how, how, you know, this probably was not in your plans because you seem pretty surprised by it. But you know what? It's a beautiful thing. And when, you know, you know, and when you're with the right person, it'll totally change. Now I'm going to just throw this out there.
- [36:27]
Knoxville Fan Caller
There.
- [36:27]
Heather McMahon
He had a college pregnancy that surprised him. Well, that's in college. He's a grown man now. That's eight years old and he's clearly a good, good parent. So that was a little traumatic for him. Well, college was traumatic for everybody. And, you know, even though these guys were in college and they're what, 18 to like 22, they're still fucking idiots. And at the end of the day, he's a grown man and he knows how babies happen. So when there's a real oopsie on the guy's part, you go, sure. I think we kind of know how this rolls out. Sir. But do not, whatever you do, record it and put it on TikTok. This has got to be a personal A to B, private moment. How do you tell somebody you've been with for two months? You sit them down and you go, hey, here's the deal. You're like, this is what's up. You know, I love you, you love me. We're about to be a family with the knickknack. Patty, Patty, what is it? I love you, you love me. I'm trying to think of the Barney song. Anyways, you're just going to sit him down and you're going to spell it out for him in a haiku because you did not pull out. I will be hanging around. We're having a baby due in December. Like, whatever that is. I forget how many lines a haiku is. I think that's how you got to tell them in real talk. He's either going to respond positively, which I think you feel like he will be. He will respond positively, or you have your answer and you know that you're going to be fine regardless. Also, you're 35. You got this girl. I know it's scary. I know it's a surprise. I know it's alarming. I know you're feeling all of these things. I mean, two months, let's be honest, I knew I was going to marry Jeff after two months of dating. Day four, date number two. I was like, put a baby in me. But I was also, you know, 23 years old. Please don't. So we're. It's a different situation. You're an adult now. You got this. And I know you have a fabulous support team around you. I'm here to chit chat if you want to be like, what the fuck am I doing? But two months in. Listen, it happens. I'm gonna tell you right now. Robin McMahon was walking down the aisle four months pregnant with my sister when she was marrying my dad, and he was 11 years younger than her. And she thought to her, holy shit. She said at the wedding, my dad got her a dirty martini and she looked at him and she was like, I'm pregnant and I don't like vodka. So if they can do it, you can do it. How to actually approach the surprise. I'm pregnant. I think you just gotta have a very level conversation. It's not a. I'm. He's not unboxing anything. There's no pregnancy test. I think you sit him down and be like, hey, so there's a little bit of a Situation. And we make it a little bit more of a, this is what's happening, not a surprise. Don't put a. Don't put it. I know you're excited, but do not put a pregnancy test and, like a little baby Nike sneaker that this isn't the time. This is more of a, hey, so we're running a business here, and this is the situation. I love you, you love me, but we're about to be a family, okay? And I think you just get.
- [39:39]
Voicemail Callers / Listeners
You.
- [39:40]
Heather McMahon
You get to the point in a loving way, and then if your ass doesn't call back next week with his reaction, I'm going to be pissed because I need to know how this goes down. I need the full report. I need, like, I need to know, word for word, minute by minute, where tears shed. Was there a hug? You know what is happening? And now I want you to know. Don't panic. If he does not propose right away. Do not panic. We're all adults here. We're all adults here. We've only known each other for two months. We're all adults. But I do believe when you know, you know. No, when you're in it, you're in it. Things feel different. But you. We're also smart. 20, 26. And there's a lot of crazy people out there, so we just want to be. We want to be smart about this. And what I would do, maybe before you tell them, like, straight up, is maybe get a little bit of your affairs in order. You know what I mean? Just get your affairs in order. Just make sure you got everything all good. And then tell them affairs. I don't know what that means. But you know what? Just, I don't know, call a. Call a CPA or something. I am very excited for you, though. And listen, you're 35. What a blessing. It's gonna be fine. Even if you're freaking out. It's gonna be fine. Oh, my God. It's gonna be fine. I'm just gonna keep saying that over and over again. It's gonna be fine. You're gonna be great. I am nervous for you, though. But whatever the haiku is, if he would have pulled out, there would be no doubt, but the dick stayed in, and now he's about to have a child, and that didn't rhyme, but you get where I'm going. You get where I'm going. Wow, I love that y' all come to me with the most raw, real situations. I'm so grateful that we worked through this together. But bitch, if I. If I'm scrolling TikTok tonight, and I see some video, and the video is, like, met the love of my life two months ago, surprising him with our pregnancy. I will personally report your account. This is, this is a adult conversation for adults. This ain't to be put on the grams or that you can, of course, celebrate the pregnancy, but the reveal needs to be an adult conversation. The reveal cannot be. You shoved a pregnancy test under the pillow, and you're like, surprise. And there's six cameras on a live Instagram feed. Okay, let's peel it back. Let's have an adult conversation, and then we can party at the, at the baby shower. And congratulations. I'm very excited for you. All right, let me get to the next one.
- [42:07]
Voicemail Callers / Listeners
Hi, Heather. I, I, I haven't watched your podcast, not ever, but I found your number online, and, well, I'm in need of help, and you seem to be the person that could help me here. I handled the end of a relationship in a very mature way, as a man would. I spent time with the woman I truly loved, and after many years of being apart, I expressed to her that I truly loved her after changing in a true way. And she let me know she didn't love me in a true way. And I said to her, you know, that's fine. I appreciate you letting me know that, and I will carry forward. And then a couple days later, I text her a lot of mean things. I said so many mean things to her, and now we don't talk. Heather, I'm hoping maybe you could let me know why I did that and maybe how to, how to, how to change. Thanks. Have a good day.
- [43:05]
Heather McMahon
Okay, well, we got a new caller. Okay, well, dear listener, I am so grateful that you found me anonymously, online, randomly. I'm so glad that, you know, you found the hotline. 800-213-7503. Pray to God that this, this line does not end up on the back of a bathroom stall somewhere at a pilot gas station off Route 66. But I'm, I'm here to give you some information. You sound a little Canadian, so I would like to imagine that you're a very nice guy, and you clearly seem very heartbroken, and I'm so sorry that the relationship did not end the way you wanted it to end without having any texture, any sort of, you know, concept of what your relationship was like, what the dynamics were. You said, though, that the relationship ended and it upset you and she did not love you anymore, and therefore you sent her a bunch of really mean Text messages. And you want to change. Well, I can't force you to change. You can lead a horse to water. But obviously you were operating from a heartbreak and feeling some type of way. And, you know, there are many stages of grief when you break up in a relationship. And one of them is probably denial. And you probably thought, okay, well, of course I'm. She's gonna want me back, or we're gonna be able to work it out. And I don't doubt that you were. That you were actively putting in the work in the relationship. You know, it seems like you. Oh, God, I don't even know what to say. It seems like you were able to take a note. Cause you said, hey, I was working on things in the relationship, but it wasn't enough. And sometimes, you know, you gotta take a cue from the gal, and if she. If her whole heart is not in it, then you need to take a step back for sure. Now, whether or not. How can I teach you how to change? Maybe let's start with therapy. Maybe let's talk to a professional, because I think professionals are the ones who are gonna be able to help you work through that. Ang. Because when a breakup can be like a death, right? It's, you know, the first stage is denial, Then. Then sadness and anger, then back to sadness. Then the next thing you know, you're sitting in your car outside of a Chipotle just eating pounds and pounds of guac with the kids chips, and it gets weird. So I don't know what stage you're at right now. Clearly, I think you're tinkering on anger and then remorse. Maybe there's regret coming in, but I think you should just give her her space. You know, you could maybe clear things up with, hey, I'm so sorry. I'm just so heartbr that we broke up, but I said some really mean things. I apologize. And I'm gonna let this breathe for a while. And then I think you let it breathe and then go talk to a professional so that they. They can help you figure out what the next course of action is. Because I don't really have enough to build out that world in which you've been living in. And I want to be empathetic, and I want to give you as much help as I can. But also, you know, I'm a little concerned that you are just looking up, you just found my number, found me, and then wanted to hit us with it, and I love it. This is an open door, open voicemail policy. But I do think maybe talking to a therapist could also be helpful. You're very well spoken. You could do voiceover work. You have a great voice. And you know, sometimes what you know when and when you're in the thick of a relationship right now, and you, you know, everybody has that one heartbreak that you think, oh, I'll never recover from this. And then next thing you know, you're six months down the road, you're somewhere in a bees at a nightclub, and you're like, I back. I am so fucking back. But while you're in it, while you're in the grief, you think you're never going to get out of it. And then you get to Ibiza and you're like, I am back. And DJ John Summit is on the ones and twos. And you've got a crisp ice, nice Spanish white wine, a little albarino, and you're in a nice linen suit, and you're just kind of jamming as DJ John Summitt is absolutely crushing it on the ones and twos. You got hot chicks around you and you're like, lindsay, who was she? You will get over it. If it's meant to be, it's meant to be. But if it's not, then take yourself to Ibiza and have yourself a damn good time. I will always encourage a nice Euro trip to get through what, what you're going through, but also if you need to get it off your conscious, like, apologize, guys. If she hasn't blocked you for the mean things you said, you can always send a thoughtful email and just say, I'm heartbroken that this relationship is over. I understand your boundaries. You need to say that. I understand your boundaries. I apologize for the things I said. Hopefully we can talk in the future, and I think you leave it at that. And then talk to somebody who can flavor in and pepper in a little bit more of the nuanced advice that you probably need. But you do have a very great voice. So if you're ever thinking about a side hustle, definitely get into voiceovers. Always love giving encouraging, encouraging advice. That man's voice was terrifying, but he could do voicemails. Okay, let's get to the next voicemail. And always, if you're new, you can call in 800-213-7503. Would love, love more voicemails. Hill House summer is here. And honestly, I'm just gonna say it. It might be their best collection yet. Yet. I'm talking new prints, tons of new styles, and there's something that could fit everyone's taste. I love Hill House Summer because they're just known for their signature smocking that somehow it just makes everyone look good and feel amazing. I mean, it's been spotted on everyone from Taylor Swift, Olivia, Rodrigo and Hathaway. Myself, hello. I would love to put myself in that category. The list goes on. 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- [53:09]
Knoxville Fan Caller
Hi Heather, this is Tara from Knoxville and I'm calling in with an absolute yes. I have tickets to your upcoming special that you're having here in Knoxville, and I got an email from Ticketmaster that due to the staging and the production, my seats were moved to the front row. So, Heather, absolutely, yes. Whatever you change, whatever had to happen, just know that one of your fans is so thankful. I'm also going to use this as just a PSA to my Knoxville girlies, Okay? I would just like to say it for you, make sure that we're all on the same page. We need to understand the assignment. This is a special taping. Girls, eat the chicken quesadillas before we go. We cannot be embarrassing Knoxville like this, okay? We are eating. We are having a maximum of, like, two drinks before. Okay? We're not having any annoying laughs. We are not arguing. We are not repeating what she says. So come act like we know how to act in Knoxville, and let's make this an awesome special taping. Heather, I cannot wait to see you. I'm so excited about getting to see you this next weekend. So good luck.
- [54:35]
Heather McMahon
I love you. And you talk about the knowing the assignment. Now, I hope that you are at the Saturday show, because the Saturday show felt your energy, and they were on it. They knew the assignment. And don't get me wrong, Friday was a ton of fun, but there were. There was some things that we had to work through for sure on Friday. But I love a lady who just says, know the assignment. And the assignment is, we're showing up, and we're. We're having a chicken quesadilla beforehand, and the bar is going to close. That was the thing that people were like, why isn't the bar open the whole show? Because we're filming, and I can't have y' all getting up every 30 seconds. So you get a nice white wine at the top of the show, and then you guys sit your bridges in your seat. And Jen, my fearless business partner and director, even said, she's like, if you have to pee in that seat, I will pay for it. There were plenty of things. There were plenty of housekeeping things that I had to do at the end, like just tt in your seat. Now, obviously, this voicemail was before the fact, and again, Knoxville really showed up for me, and I love you. I will say, though, some funny tea. I was doing crowd work with this awesome woman who is great, great. And at the. On the Friday show. And then I guess so the camera is right above her head, so I'm doing crowd work with her. We're having a blast. And then my. One of my best friends in the entire world is sitting like a Row behind her and says, hey, like, I'm gonna need you to, like, quit talking. Like, the camera's right there. And I guess she had. You know, she. She was upset, and she was like, what did you say to me? And one of my friends was like, oh, fuck, Heather. I. Like, I thought she was gonna go after me. And, you know, I think sometimes people forget that, like, my close also in the audience at a lot of these shows. So it's so funny to me when I get the feedback and I can see everything on the monitors and cameras, and, you know, we listen to the feedback. Like, I know what's going on, but it is very funny. My girlfriend was like, yeah. I was just trying to tell her, like, hey, we gotta. The camera's right above us. Because I also, on Saturday, had my agent kind of going through the audience, you know, just kind of being helpful to some of the ushers, and people were still taking photos and video. I don't even know how they did it. But regardless, it was really funny. Like, I. When I get the lowdown or. Or when I'll be. I'll get off stage at a show, and somebody will say, like, oh, yeah, the two girls next to us were, you know, swiping on Tinder the whole time, and you're like, fantastic, fantastic. You know, like, I. I get the real play by play, and my friends are in the audience. But that was super funny. My girlfriend was like. I was just trying to tell her, like, hey, there's a camera right above your head. Like, heads up. And she must have misheard me, and it was a whole thing. But either way, everything's good. We got it done. We got the shot, and I saw it such a blast. Like, truly cannot thank everybody in Knoxville enough, but I love a white woman who just knows the assignment, who's like, ladies, know the assignment. Shit. I had a sorority sister, mine, who texted me, and she's like, hey, you want to come to dinner tonight? I'm like, hey, girl. I'm actually in Knoxville shooting a special. Like, I'm here. She's like, oh, I knew you were here. I'm like, no, I can't come to dinner, because I'm. I'm gonna be on stage in about 45 minutes. Minutes. Thank you so much for the invite, but, no, you know, I'm like, I'm working. I'm in the zone. But. But I love a woman who's like, y', all, buckle up. You need to know the assignment. You need to know the assignment. Speaking of assignments, real quick, if you need an easy binge on Netflix. So you know the Murdoch cases, that murder with Alec Murdoch from South Carolina that they did that whole Hulu series about it and they had a whole Netflix docu series about it which, well, this he. It's getting overturned. And I just watched this real quick 30 minute update on Netflix yesterday about this busy bee who did not know the assignment. This woman's name is Becky, I think Becky Hill. And she was the county clerk. So basically she's the administrative assistant to like to make everything eb and flow during a trial. Well, she was tampering with some witnesses and it is the wildest. So my sister and I are watching this yesterday, veg dad on the couch and we're laughing because I'm asking Ashley, who's an attorney, asking her specific questions, like, do you, you know, like, can you walk me through the legality of what this woman did? Y' all talk about somebody who did not know the assignment. This woman, this woman would go up to the, the jurors every morning. She's getting them pastries, she's getting what's your coffee order? Right? Like she's just kind of like basically the room mom helping the jurors get into court every day, making sure everything runs smoothly. She is the head bitch in charge. Well, she was swaying the boat of the jurors. She told one young woman like, well, well, what do you think you're gonna, you know, do you think he's gonna be guilty or innocent? And the woman, she says in the documentary, well, I just, I haven't seen a proper murder weapon yet. I haven't seen a proper murder weapon. And I think that I'll know that he's guilty if I see a proper murder weapon. And she was swaying them. Meanwhile, this woman also wrote a book. She wrote a tell all about her time dealing with the jurors caught red handed. Now this is the kind of that I love though as I'm watch, Ashley and I are laughing so hard. We're like, of course it's Becky from like Columbia, South Carolina. This woman walked in and everybody knew that one room mom. My mom was the room mom, but she was from Boston, so she didn't have that energy. But everybody knew that one southern room mom who came in and her name was Becky and she was insane and she would come in and be like, well, well, I'm just gonna say I bought the teacher the best gift. We got her an all inclusive trip on a, on a cruise. So she's gonna enjoy her summer Off. And I know that my baby doll is gonna have straight eggs. Meanwhile, my mom brought an apple, you know what I mean? Everybody knew. Everybody knew. Everybody knew that one room mom who was a Becky type, who would meddle, who ended up being a crazy nasty bitch. Of course you went from room mom, PTA mom mom to court mama. She's a court mama. But if you want a really easy watch, this shit is really wild. And of course, all these jurors, I mean, they're pretty country, you know, they're out there in the cut out there in South Carolina, and they were like, I'm telling you what I knew that this bitch was asking me the wrong questions. And as somebody who has an attorney family member, I'm always like, you know, I love the docu series, I loved Karen Reed, I love the Murdoch trial, love all this stuff. But truly the reason the court system is there is innocent until proven guilty. And you could have your opinions all day long, but this woman meddled. This woman meddled with the case. Now, now Alex, still, he's still serving 40 years for financial crimes. I think it's a little bit like a Tom Gerardi situation. You know, Eric James acts. I think it's a he, he was taking all the money that he would win in the civil cases from his, his, his clients and then was spending it, I, and I believe on pills, but regardless. So he's already doing the time for another crime, but they're about to have a mistrial. And then I saw something on Tik Tok that the car that Kieran Reed allegedly hit, you know, the guy with which we found out didn't really happen, all these people in Massachusetts were trying to buy the car in auction, which is pretty insane. Like, are you okay? Why would you want that car? But there's nothing better than a white woman who meddles with a true crime situation. And you know, Miss Becky, when you see her on the documentary, you're gonna be like, uh huh, Miss Becky. She's kind of got that short, full, voluminous, spiky hair, a little bit in the back, but it's fuller. And you know, she walked into that jur jury every. That juror's room every morning. Hey, Tom, Juror number seven. I know you like, like that white chocolate mocha double whip frap. I got it. So tell me, which way do you think you're going due to the evidence and the testimony you've heard. Interesting. You're thinking not guilty? Because. I'm just saying. I'm just saying. I always Got a bad vibe from him. That's meddling. That's juror intimidation. We all know a Becky. We all know Becky. Actually, to our first call, maybe Becky is. Maybe you call Becky and she's the one who tells your boyfriend of two months that you're pregnant. Just saying. She could start dropping hints, like run into them naturally or casually at the grocery store. Be like, I feel like a baby would look good on you. I'm just saying, I think a baby would look good on you. Oh, stop. You got an 8 year old. I'm just saying I think a baby would look good on you. And then she runs into y'. All. Another day, maybe, maybe he's solo at the grocery store. And then maybe we send Becky. Becky. When y' all are out on a date night and you haven't told him yet, you know, and it's like, y' all are beautiful. Y' all are good looking couple. My God, y' all would have beautiful babies. And then you have her scoot around one more time, like about eight days later, because, you know, men don't recognize faces. They're not gonna know. And then you're like, you know, this crazy lady we keep running into, I think she must be a guardian angel. Becky, Becky. You know what's so crazy? I took a pregnancy test last night and I we're pregnant. And then Becky comes out with bullets, balloons. You could do that. And if you do choose to reveal the pregnancy in that way, I would really expect a Netflix documentary out of it. Okay, I'm just saying. I'm just saying. Before I said, don't put it on the Internet. Now I'm kind of like, can we get Becky Hill involved? I'm just saying. So real quick, the other guy who found me, I don't know what's going on with this absolutely not line, but there's apparently another voicemail that somebody thought they were calling in a jelly roll. So I just want to play this because Christina told me it's gotten really weird on our voicemails. And again, I think that somebody took the 821-37-503 and put it on the back stall at a pilot gas station somewhere in Tennessee. Maybe somebody who left the special taping and was upset that they sat in their seat for exactly 57 minutes. But I will say, this is an interesting voicemail.
- [64:34]
Intoxicated Caller Seeking Jelly Roll and Bunny
It says scripture again. I just left you a message. Almost finished, but you cut me off. Exit 1 Ordmore, Tennessee. Line. Life since Michael Clark Drinking lot. Give him the blues. He redid blues man, that was 12 years ago. He is the best guitar and singing musician I know. Please, please, please, just, just, just have Bunny or Jelly give me a call or I will FaceTime. We'll FaceTime.
- [65:04]
Heather McMahon
We'll FaceTime.
- [65:05]
Intoxicated Caller Seeking Jelly Roll and Bunny
Any. Sung the song and Jelly Roll liked it. That was a big plus. And he does it so much better now. I. I wouldn't be trying this hard if it wasn't. If it wasn't that big of a deal, but I don't know any other way. And I don't know much about Bunny, but my girlfriend is a hell of a fan, man. So please don't tell her that I was calling in this many times. But please, please, please just relay this to her or Jelly and tell her YouTube Michael Clark drinking Light. Give them a blood.
- [65:51]
Heather McMahon
Okay, okay, hold on. Well, we got a YouTube Michael Clark drinking Light. Okay, I think that's a song. Michael Clark Cups in the Air. I. I'm not finding Michael Clark Drinking Light lot. Oh, but if you type in Michael Clark. Okay, okay. Don't Google it. Okay, everybody stop. I don't know what's happened to this voicemail, but Tina told me that this man has called in like 16 times thinking that he's called into Jelly Rolls or Bunny. Bunny is Jelly Roll's wife, their hotline. And this is what I love. This man is clearly intoxicated. It all these messages were posted at 4 o' clock in the morning and he's just trying to get through to Jelly Roll and Bunny. And you know that this man was just scrolling through Instagram and he probably saw my photo and for some reason thought, and that's an honor because Bunny is a beautiful gal and I'm a big fan of hers and I love Jelly Roll, but I know that this man was just literally scrolling through and was like, that's gotta be Bunny, and then clicked on my thing. I was like, bunny, Bunny, hold on, I'm gonna leave you a voicemail. No, my name's Heather McMahon, but I would love Bunny and I'd love to chat with Bunny, but either way, I am not. I have no affiliation with Jelly Roll. He seems like a great guy. You know what I mean? I love Jelly and I love cinnamon rolls and I like his music. He's a fun guy, but I am not Bunny. So to all this man who sent me 16 voicemails and as trying to get in touch with Bunny and Jelly Roll, it ain't me, buddy. I'm married to Jeff Daniels, who was the lead actor with Jim Carrey and Dumb and Dumber. That's who I'm connected to. But I love that you just saw another hot blonde on the Internet and you're like, I'm gonna find this woman's number and I'm gonna call her. I'm gonna call her, I'm gonna leave her voicemail and tell her she's gotta listen to my song and my girlfriend loves her. But again, sir, my name is Heather McMahon. And I love that there are so many voicemails this week of people who think that I'm someone else. And I'll take it. Because you know what I'm ready to do? I'm ready to go on a little bit of a sabbatical, a little vacation. I'm ready to feel like somebody else. Because when you shoot a special and you're, you're selling tickets, it's all about hawking the thing. And it's about me, me, me, me, me. But it's about y'. All. I want to help y' all with y' all shit. June's the month that we all roll up our sleeves to have a good hearty cry and figure it out. And we're gonna figure it out. We are figuring it out actively right now.
- [68:02]
Intoxicated Caller Seeking Jelly Roll and Bunny
Now.
- [68:02]
Heather McMahon
And that's why this is such a beautiful thing. Because we're together and we're doing it together. But I'm sick of my shit. I'm not selling anything to y' all for quite some time until I go back out on the road or this special is released. I, y' all did your part, I did my part. We did it together. And now it's the summer of me helping y'. All. I got a little time to get less frazzled, to take, get some sleep, take care of my body, take care of my mental health, take care of my mind, and just recently really reflect. And if you don't think, dude, when I go to, when I go to Europe, you know, that's where I get the most clear headed. It's where I get locked in. I come up with my best ideas. I'm clear, I'm healthy. That's just where I go to like recalibrate. So I think we, it would be silly of us not to do a live episode. Not we can't do a live episode. But it's silly of us not to do an episode while I'm abroad. And I'm gonna work with Abby and Tina to make sure that we get, get just. We do a full voicemail, like where we just do 10 voicemails in the episode. I won't even chitchat. And I think that's where I feel the most clear clairvoyant, the most in tune with who I am and how the universe is spinning is when I'm in Europe. So I think we're to have to do some solo episodes while I'm abroad. I'll bring the whole kit. I'll make Jeff chime in. But I think that's where. Because I don't. I only think the voicemails are going to get weirder, odder, more bizarre. And I think if I take my kit with me to Europe, that's where I can really lock in. Because I'm still a little exhausted. I'm still a little discombobulated from working my dick off this weekend. But when I get to Europe and I've got a cigarette and a baguette and an aperol spritz, I'm about to give you the best, wisest, sagest life advice you could ever get. So if y' all can hold on till I get to Europe, it's about to be a game changer and I will absolutely, sir. Make sure Bunny and Jelly Roll get this voice, this incoherent voice. Voicemail. But I. I'm on it. I'm on it. I am on it. Shout out to everybody who was at the show this weekend. Shout out to everybody who came out on tour. And I love you guys for tuning in. We have some really great guest episodes that are coming up in the next couple weeks, like we were cranking them out. We've got some really good ones, some interesting conversations, and again, if there's anybody that you were hankering for me to get on the pod, please always tell me. Sign my dms, let me know. We'll do a little Q A on the Instagrams to figure out who you guys want because I would love to bring the people that you want me to talk, talk to. But always, you know the solo episodes are my favorite. That's just cuz we get like this. Anyways, I love you. I mean it again. If you have to have a good hearty cry because it's the first week of June, get it out now. Because we're going to solve our problems and we're going to have a fabulous summer. I'll see you guys on the next episode. Ciao bella. A Reverend Archi. Bye. Thanks so much much for listening to today's episode. Don't forget to subscribe, rate us and leave a review. And as always, follow me on Instagram at heatherkmcmahon See you guys soon.
- [71:13]
Voicemail Callers / Listeners
Can.