Epiosde #768: Why Your Networking Isn't Leading to Referrals

Summary

Podcast Summary

Podcast: Abundant Practice Podcast
Episode: #768 – Why Your Networking Isn’t Leading to Referrals
Host: Allison Puryear
Guest: Rebecca Smith
Date: June 20, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this episode of the Abundant Practice Podcast, host Allison Puryear is joined by Rebecca Smith to tackle a frequent and frustrating question for private practice therapists: “Why isn’t my networking turning into actual client referrals?” Together, they break down the common networking mistakes therapists make, clarify the misunderstood concept of “niching,” and discuss practical strategies to transform networking from a dead-end exercise into consistent client generation. The tone is warm, candid, and filled with practical anecdotes for any therapist struggling to build a thriving referral-based private practice.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. The Importance of Having a Clear, True Niche

• Timestamp: 02:00–03:30
• Main Idea: Referrals come more easily when you have a precise, memorable niche. Generalists or those with “non-niche niches” struggle to come top-of-mind.
  • Allison: “If your niche is not a niche—a lot of people have non-niche niches—then you're unlikely to get referrals because you are not going to be the person they immediately think of…” (02:20)
  • Rebecca: Clarifies a “non-niche niche,” e.g., “I like working with people who are really ready for change.” (03:27)
• Takeaway: Vague niches (e.g., “women in transition”) aren’t specific enough to trigger referrals. Your description must prompt referral sources to think of you first.

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2. Make Your Messaging Crystal Clear

• Timestamp: 03:30–04:24
• Main Idea: If a fellow professional or layperson can’t instantly identify whom you help, they won’t refer to you.
  • Allison: “If you're not a hell no for some people, then you're never a hell yes…It has to be that specific niche.” (04:32)
• Takeaway: Don’t be afraid to explicitly name which clients are a best fit (and which aren’t).

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3. The Most Common Networking Mistake: No Follow-Up

• Timestamp: 04:42–05:27
• Main Idea: “One-night-stand” networking won’t build referrals—relationships do.
  • Allison: “They're networking twice a week with a brand new person every time. It's just a bunch of one-night stands and no second dates…Networking is actually literally just relationships.” (04:56–05:27)
  • Rebecca: “Networking ghosting is how.” (05:00)
• Takeaway: Following up and forming long-term connections is essential for building trust and referrals.

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4. Network with the Right People

• Timestamp: 06:16–07:22
• Main Idea: Choose networking spaces where potential referrers actually spend their time.
  • Allison: “If you're chatting it up with a plumber, like, maybe he has a friend…But he's not going to have a constant flow of potential referrals in the way a primary care provider will.” (06:22)
• Practical Tip: Target professionals (e.g., primary care providers, pediatric therapists, specialty therapists) who regularly see your ideal clients.

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5. When You Share a Popular Niche

• Timestamp: 07:22–08:00
• Main Idea: If your niche is broad or popular (e.g., “women who have it all together on the outside but are falling apart on the inside”), you’ll need to work harder to stand out and get referrals.
  • Allison: “That doesn’t mean you have to change your niche. It just means you have to network more, and you need to network with people who aren’t treating those people.” (07:32)
  • Rebecca: “...You might not have to change your niche, but you might have to narrow it within that scope.” (07:48)
• Action Step: Narrow your niche angle, or partner strategically with colleagues serving similar populations but in different ways.

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6. Get Specific with Your Elevator Pitch

• Timestamp: 08:48–10:17
• Main Idea: Practice succinct pitches tailored to your audience, much like having different “hooks” in marketing.
  • Rebecca: “My friends and I are calling it like a telescoping elevator pitch. So you should have one that you can say in 10 seconds…balloon it out to a minute...two minutes...” (08:48)
  • Allison: “...It doesn’t even have to be interesting. It can just be clear.” (09:50)
• Tip: Don’t let networking contacts walk away asking “wait, who does she help again?”

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7. Lead with Generosity

• Timestamp: 10:17–11:48
• Main Idea: Approach networking from a giving, not a needy, place—offer referrals, resources, or support before asking for anything in return.
  • Rebecca: “If you approach the networking situation like, hey, who can I send you?…She seems really generous. I’m gonna send her a client.” (11:14)
  • Allison: “We so often, when we're trying to build our caseload approach networking as what can I get out of this. Instead…build your resources for referrals as well.” (11:27)
• Takeaway: Networking is about creating reciprocal, mutually beneficial professional relationships.

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8. Resource: Free Worksheet on Effective Networking

• Timestamp: 11:48–12:18
• Main Idea: Allison offers a free worksheet for planning who to network with, emphasizing the breadth of networking possibilities based on clinical specialties.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Rebecca Smith: “If you’re not a hell no for some people, then you’re never a hell yes.” (04:32)
• Allison Puryear: “It's just a bunch of one-night stands and no second dates.” (04:56)
• Rebecca Smith: “Networking ghosting is how.” (05:00)
• Rebecca Smith: “It’s not a bouquet of flowers, it’s a living plant.” (05:27)
• Rebecca Smith: “If you approach the networking situation like, hey, who can I send you?…She seems really generous. I’m gonna send her a client.” (11:14)
• Allison Puryear: “You need a hook. The very first thing you say needs to be like, oh, interesting, or at least clear.” (09:44–09:50)

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Episode Segment Timeline

• 00:08–01:26: Episode intro, request for listener questions, guest introduction
• 01:26–01:58: Read-aloud of the listener’s networking question
• 02:00–04:32: Niching: why a clear, true niche is critical for referrals
• 04:42–05:27: Why following up is crucial in networking
• 05:27–06:16: Building real relationships; “living plant” analogy
• 06:16–07:22: Network with referrers in your ideal client’s ecosystem
• 07:22–08:47: Narrowing or differentiating your niche for better traction
• 08:47–10:17: Elevator pitch strategy; making your niche communication crisp
• 10:17–11:48: Approaching networking with generosity (give to get)
• 11:48–12:18: Free worksheet resource for listeners

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Takeaways

• Define and communicate a specific, relevant niche so you are memorable and “referable.”
• Invest in relationship-building through regular follow-up—don’t treat networking as a numbers game.
• Prioritize quality over quantity when choosing networking contacts: network with those who have access to or overlap with your target clients.
• Tailor your pitch for different networking situations—clarity and specificity trump cleverness.
• Approach networking from a place of generosity: look to give referrals, not just get them.

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If you’re struggling to turn networking into referrals, use Allison’s worksheet (linked in show notes/social media) for practical steps on who to network with, and focus on clarity, relationship-building, and giving generously to others in your professional community.

Transcript

[Rebecca Smith]

Foreign.

[Alison Puryear]

Welcome to Ask Abundance. Y' all ask the questions about having a fun and thriving practice. We answer them. We have a worksheet for you today so you can bring this answer into your life. If you want support in your practice, we have you covered with on demand or one on one support. Links for the worksheet and support are in the Show Notes. Can't get enough Ask Abundance? Check out our YouTube channel for the entire library.

[Podcast Host]

The VC backed platforms made promises and then they changed the pay, they changed the rules and they made it clear that those promises were never really about us. I built platform to private pay for therapists who were done being dependent on companies that have already shown them who

[Alison Puryear]

they are, but who aren't ready to

[Podcast Host]

blow up their income to get out. You don't have to leap. I'll show you how to bring in private pay clients while you stay on the platforms for stability and then replace graduating clients with private pay clients until the math works in your favor. If you've been circling this decision, hit the link in the Show Notes. Doors to this cohort close July 3rd.

[Alison Puryear]

Hey hey. Welcome back to Ask Abundance. Today I'm joined by Rebecca Smith. Rebecca is a limitless practice grad who came aboard Team Abundance. She has a premium fee private pay practice in New Orleans and is really great at helping Abundance therapists imagine what's possible for them. She's going to tell us today's question.

[Rebecca Smith]

Yes, I am. Thanks Alison. This one says I've been networking consistently for almost a year. Coffee chats, emails to referral sources, showing up to events and I feel like I'm doing all the right things, but the referrals just aren't coming in the way I expected. I'm starting to wonder if I'm missing something fundamental about how networking actually works or if I just need to keep going and trust the process. How do you know if your networking strategy needs a real overhaul versus just one more time?

[Alison Puryear]

I love this question I feel about networking okay, yes. All right. So first, I do want to thank our sponsor, TherapyNotes. I've talked about them for years and know their features by heart, but what truly sets them apart is that they genuinely care about your experience. It's not just about troubleshooting. They actively implement user suggested features like Therapy search, secure messaging, and their AI notes feature. Therapy fuel Everyone at TherapyNotes believes in the product and they want want you to love it too. Plus, they're independently owned, which means no venture capital and no pressure to prioritize their investors over customers. This independence allows Them to keep their prices fair, focus on innovation and prioritize customer experience. With over 100,000 therapists already on board, they've proven you don't have to compromise success for quality. If you're ready to see for yourself, try TherapyNotes free for two months with code [e-mail] okay, so there are two things top of mind for me. The very first one is niche. If you are not niched, if you're a generalist or if your niche is not a niche, a lot of people have non niche niches, then you are unlikely to get referrals because you are not going to be the person they immediately think of when they see that client in front of them or on the phone. So that's one of the first things I'm thinking of is like you have got to make sure you are niched and you are communicating that niche in a way that people really immediately think of you as the go to for that.

[Rebecca Smith]

Yeah. And like a not niche niche is like I like working with people who are really ready for change.

[Alison Puryear]

Right. Or even like a really popular one that's not really a niche is I love working with women in transition and New York.

[Rebecca Smith]

Yeah. Yes.

[Alison Puryear]

If you're talking about trans women, sure, that is different. But if you're like, maybe that's what

[Rebecca Smith]

they meant this whole time.

[Alison Puryear]

No, it's not, I promise you. Because when I ask him, do you mean women who just moved here? Do you mean empty nesters? Do you mean women whose kids are going to kindergarten?

[Rebecca Smith]

Do you mean women going through divorce?

[Alison Puryear]

Yeah. And they're like, yeah, those, these women are looking for very different things.

[Rebecca Smith]

Yes.

[Alison Puryear]

Like that I'm never like Rebecca, I'm just, I'm having such a hard time, just such a woman in transition.

[Rebecca Smith]

You seem like you're in such transition, Alice.

[Alison Puryear]

I mean if you have therapist friends, maybe, but maybe yeah. Normal people, but.

[Rebecca Smith]

Exactly. It feels like if you're going to these networking things and nobody knows who to send you, they're not going to send you anybody.

[Alison Puryear]

Right? Yes.

[Rebecca Smith]

If you're not a hell no for some people, then you're never a hell yes, exactly. Like it has to be that specific niche.

[Alison Puryear]

And I think the other maybe like specific to networking. The biggest error I see is people who are not following up with people. They're networking twice a week with a brand new person every time. It's just a bunch of one night stands and no second dates.

[Rebecca Smith]

Networking.

[Alison Puryear]

Ghosting is how. There we go. And then it's because they don't even Realize the follow up is where the juices they think, okay, well, I've met 53 people this year.

[Rebecca Smith]

Yeah.

[Alison Puryear]

Why aren't I getting referrals? It's because they also met, you know, between five and 53 people this year and they're, they've forgotten you because you didn't actually form a relationship network. Networking is actually literally just relationships.

[Rebecca Smith]

Yeah. It's not a bouquet of flowers, it's a living plant. Yes. Like, yeah, I went on a networking. You can take, you can take that one if you want. I went up to a networking dinner last night with, with a, with a friend who, she's a therapist. We did, we met once before. She sent me a new client. I was like, we gotta go to dinner. And I, my kids were like, why are you going to dinner, mama? And I was like, so the way that my job works is if people are friends with me, they give me clients. And that is how it is. It is about friendships. It is about relationship. You don't have to be buddy buddy, but you have to be friendly. You have to be a real person. I think the bottom line for this one, does their networking strategy need an overhaul? Yes, it does. It's not working. This is not working for them.

[Alison Puryear]

Yeah. And I think too it's also looking at like, who are you networking with if you're going to like young professionals of your city? Plumbers aren't likely. Like, if you're chatting it up with a plumber, like, maybe he has a friend or somebody he's really close with that he could refer to you if your niche is right for them. But he's not going to have a constant flow of potential referrals in the way a primary care provider will.

[Rebecca Smith]

Right.

[Alison Puryear]

And so sometimes people are like this person said, I'm going to these events. If these events aren't full of people who are like, gosh, I really wish I had a therapist to refer to for X, Y or Z, then you're probably wasting your time. I'll also say if your niche is someone everyone treats, this is tough. And this may be your niche. A real popular niche right now is women who have it all together on the outside but are falling apart on the inside. And yeah, that's a niche. You can speak to your specific ideal clients, daily lived experience of that. And she will see herself on your website and be like, it's this therapist. But if that person calls me, I'm still going to see them probably.

[Rebecca Smith]

Yeah.

[Alison Puryear]

And so that doesn't mean you have to change your niche. It just means you have to network more, and you need to network with people who aren't treating those people. Maybe a couple's therapist, people who only work with couples who can send you the wife or again, primary care providers, because they see this polished woman come in, but she's got tummy troubles and she's getting on SSRIs and, you know, those kinds of things.

[Rebecca Smith]

Or pediatric therapists send the moms to you. But the other thing is, you might not have to change your niche, but you might have to narrow it within that scope.

[Alison Puryear]

Yes.

[Rebecca Smith]

So, for example, what you just said definitely used to be my niche, and I really leaned hard into it. And then I started to realize that my friend, who probably had a very similar niche, her angle on that was a very, like, depressive burnout angle. And my angle was a more like overthinking anxious angle. And then I really started to see a lot more traction when I went even further into, like, more and more and more and more and more and more and more narrow. So for me, that was ocd. And I described it as, you might be on a spectrum between overthinking, anxiety and ocd, and, like, we don't know where you are on that, but that's a very different angle than the burnout angle or the, like, doing too much for the kindergarten class angle or whatever.

[Alison Puryear]

Absolutely. Yeah.

[Rebecca Smith]

I'll also say one thing that kind of. Kind of stuck out to me here. A lot of my friends and I have been practicing our elevator pitching and trying to have a very wonderfully consistent and clear way of describing your niche in a networking situation and having a different elevator pitch depending on, are you talking to a potential client? Are you talking to a psychiatrist? And my friends and I are calling it like a telescoping elevator pitch. So you should have one that you can say in 10 seconds. You should also then be able to balloon it out to a minute. Are they still listening? Cool. Two minutes. How do we keep going? Right. But if that first bit isn't going to grab them and be very clear about what your niche is, you might lose them in the networking process.

[Alison Puryear]

Yeah. I mean, I think about it like social media. You need a hook.

[Rebecca Smith]

You need a hook. Yeah.

[Alison Puryear]

The very first thing you say needs to be like, oh, you know, interesting, or at least clear. It doesn't even have to be interesting. It can just be clear.

[Rebecca Smith]

Yeah.

[Alison Puryear]

So making sure that you practice that in the car, in the shower, in the mirror, I don't care. Just practice it so that it feels crisp and nobody is left being like, wait, who?

[Rebecca Smith]

So also say, probably are doing so much time on this one, but it's such a good one. Something that you, Allison Puryear, have taught me is that marketing, a lot of good marketing, is about giving something very valuable away for free because then people want more of it. And in networking, depending on who you're networking with, but if you're networking with other clinicians in any other professional who might have your client also as a client or adjacent, the really valuable thing you're giving them is not a free talk about your niche. It's clients. They want clients. You want clients. You don't have to actually give them clients. But if you approach the networking situation like, hey, who can I send you? Yeah, instead of, please send me these people. If you say, who can I send you? They're like, wow, Rebecca was like, super nice, and she seems really generous. I'm gonna send her a client.

[Podcast Host]

Right.

[Rebecca Smith]

That vibe is so helpful in networking. And you might not even talk about your clients that much. You might just be like, hey, we're friendly. I'm so glad I have you. I'm gonna send you these people. And that's it.

[Alison Puryear]

Yeah. And I think we so often, when we're trying to build our caseload approach, networking is like, what can I get out of this? Instead of, like, part of what you get at it is like, really good people to refer to because you're not needing to treat everybody and everything. So, yeah, making sure that you are building your resources for referrals as well. Amazing.

[Podcast Host]

Awesome.

[Alison Puryear]

Well, thanks, Rebecca. And we do have our usual free worksheet. If you are on the pod, you can look in the show notes for the link. And if you're on social media, you can put the word sheets or worksheet and I will send it to you. And I'm going to put in who to network with, because I think most people don't realize there's this huge breadth of people that you can network with based exclusively on who you see clinically. And so this kind of helps you work through that.

[Rebecca Smith]

So I need to look at that one again. I'm grabbing it.

[Alison Puryear]

Yeah.

[Podcast Host]

Awesome.

[Alison Puryear]

All right, I'll see you next week.

[Rebecca Smith]

Bye.

[Alison Puryear]

If you're ready for a much easier practice, TherapyNotes is the way to go. Go to therapynotes.com and use the promo code abundant for two months free.

[Podcast Host]

I hope that helped.

[Alison Puryear]

Please get in touch with any of your questions for askabundance. If you're listening, you probably need some support building your practice. If you're a super newbie. Grab our free checklist using the link in the show notes. I'd love for you to follow, rate and review, but I really want you to share this episode with a therapist friend. Let's help all our colleagues build what they want.