Episode #621: Is Networking Stressful

Summary

Abundant Practice Podcast
Episode #621: Is Networking Stressful
Release Date: February 15, 2025

Host: Allison Puryear
Description: Discover how to overcome the common challenges therapists face in networking to build a thriving private practice. In this episode, Allison provides actionable strategies to transform your approach to networking, making it a positive and effective tool for growing your practice.

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Introduction to Networking Concerns

In Episode #621 of the Abundant Practice Podcast, host Allison Puryear addresses a common concern among therapists: the stress and anxiety associated with networking events. A listener posed the question, “I have a networking event coming up and I am absolutely dreading it. I feel so out of my element. But I know that networking is an important part of building my practice. Do you have any advice for how to make a networking event something to look forward to?”

Embracing Authenticity Over Perfection

Allison emphasizes that networking does not require you to be perfect. She reassures listeners that the key to effective networking is simply to "show up as you" (02:15). The pressure to impress others with credentials or charm can be overwhelming, but authenticity is far more valuable.

Personal Anecdote: The Lesson of Imperfection

To illustrate her point, Allison shares a personal story from a networking event hosted by an eating disorder treatment center. She recounts sitting next to a therapist who was dismissive and critical, making the environment uncomfortable. This experience underscored for Allison that striving for perfection can sometimes lead to negative outcomes. She advises listeners to avoid being that person who detracts from the networking experience, stressing that being genuine is far more effective in building lasting relationships.

Three Essential Networking Strategies

Allison outlines three fundamental strategies to make networking more enjoyable and productive:

1. Be Curious (03:10)

   • Focus on Others: Instead of centering the conversation around yourself and your practice, "ask about the other person, their life, their work" (03:12). This approach makes interactions more engaging and fosters deeper connections.
   • Ask Real Questions: Delve into aspects of their life beyond work to create a more meaningful dialogue.

2. Be Real (04:00)

   • Authenticity Over Salesmanship: Allison urges therapists to "skip that therapist voice" and avoid turning networking into a sales pitch. Instead, present yourself as a person rather than a walking advertisement.
   • Avoid Desperation: Displaying desperation for clients can be off-putting. Allison advises maintaining an abundance mindset, focusing on what’s possible rather than dwelling on scarcity.

3. Listen Actively (05:00)

   • Deep Listening: Emphasizing that listening is a core therapeutic skill, Allison highlights the importance of being a good listener during networking. She states, "Really listen. This is a big part of our job" (05:03).
   • Hold Space: How you listen and hold space speaks volumes about your capabilities as a therapist. Active listening can lead to more genuine referrals.

Overcoming Networking Anxiety

Allison acknowledges that many therapists feel anxious about appearing unlikable or shallow during networking. She provides the following advice:

• Assess Self-Perception: Ensure that concerns about being prickly aren’t merely low self-esteem issues.
• Embrace Your Authentic Self: Even if you feel a bit awkward, authenticity can attract like-minded referral sources who appreciate your true self.
• Focus on Relationship Building: Networking should prioritize building trust and relationships over immediate business gains.

Practical Tips for Successful Networking

To further assist listeners, Allison offers practical tips:

• Start Small (05:45): If nervous, begin with smaller interactions. Ask questions and listen more than you speak.
• Wait to Share: There’s no need to dominate the conversation with your practice details. Share about yourself when genuinely prompted.

Resources and Continued Support

Allison concludes the episode by directing listeners to additional resources:

• Worksheets: “You can DM me the word sheets to get this week's worksheet, how to Not Hate Networking” (05:50).
• Complete Networking Course: Available through the Abundance Party membership program, accessible by sending a DM with the word “party” for a link.
• Encouragement: “You’ve got this with networking. It is not as bad or scary or skeezy as you were imagining it to be. It is literally just you connecting with somebody who may be a new friend.”

Conclusion

Episode #621 provides valuable insights into making networking a less intimidating and more rewarding experience for therapists. By focusing on authenticity, curiosity, and active listening, therapists can build meaningful relationships that foster both personal and professional growth. Allison’s compassionate and practical advice demystifies the networking process, empowering listeners to approach events with confidence and a positive mindset.

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Resources Mentioned:

• Abundance Party Membership Program: Step-by-step guidance on building a successful private practice. www.abundanceparty.com
• Free Private Practice Checklist & Worksheets: www.abundancepracticebuilding.com
• Support Email: [e-mail]

Connect with Allison:

• YouTube Channel: Access the entire Ask Allison library for more tips and strategies.
• Follow and Review: Share the episode with therapist friends to help colleagues build their desired practices.

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Notable Quotes:

• “Networking is not about perfection. It's not about dazzling somebody with your credentials or being the most charming person in the room. You just need to show up as you.” — Allison Puryear [02:15]
• “Really listen. This is a big part of our job. And if you are a poor listener, when you are talking to somebody and you're networking, they're going to think you're going to be a poor listener as a therapist as well.” — Allison Puryear [05:03]
• “You’ve got this with networking. It is not as bad or scary or skeezy as you were imagining it to be. It is literally just you connecting with somebody who may be a new friend.” — Allison Puryear [06:00]

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By embracing these strategies, therapists can transform their networking experiences from stressful obligations into opportunities for genuine connection and practice growth.

Transcript

[Allison]

Foreign. Welcome to Ask Allison.

[Unknown Co-host]

Y'all ask the questions about having a fun and thriving practice and I answer them. We have a worksheet for you today so you can bring this answer into your life. You can Access [e-mail] links where you'll also be able to ask any questions you have for Ask Allison. If you want more support, we've got some free trainings in there too. If you can't get enough Ask Allison, check out our YouTube channel for our entire Ask Allison library.

[Allison]

Welcome back to Ask Allison. Here's today's question. I have a networking event coming up and I am absolutely dreading it. I feel so out of my element. But know that networking is an important part of building my practice. Do you have any advice for how to make a networking event? Something to look forward to? Hi, I'm Allison. Here we are at Ask Allison. Before I answer this question, which I definitely want to answer because I want you to be comfortable, I first Want to thank TherapyNotes for sponsoring Ask Allison. I have talked about their features for years. I know them by heart. But what I want you to really know is that they genuinely care about your experience. It is not just about troubleshooting. They actively implement user suggested features like therapy search, secure messaging, clinical outcome tracking, real time insurance checks, and a really super smooth superville process. Everybody at TherapyNotes believes in the product and they want you to love it too. And they're independently owned, which means no venture capital and no pressure to prioritize investors over customers. This independence allows them to keep their prices fair, to focus on innovation, and to prioritize customer experience. With over 100,000 therapists already on board, they are proving that you do not have to compromise success for quality. If you are ready to see for yourself, try TherapyNotes free for two months with the code [e-mail] okay, so first, let's get really real. Networking is not about perfection. It's not about dazzling somebody with your credentials or being the most charming person in the room. You just need to show up as you. That is it. And I'm going to explain why. So I went to this really fancy dinner hosted by an eating disorder treatment center back in the day. Free food, free wine, the works. I was seated across from this therapist who was not an eating disorder therapist. She scoffed at the idea of insurance covering eating disorder treatment. She criticized the host for not having a PowerPoint. She generally made the whole entire table uncomfortable. And it's safe to say that none of us were rushing to send her referrals. So my takeaway for you with this story is that you do not need to be perfect. You just need to avoid being that person. Let's talk about how you can do networking. Well, here are the basics. And the good news is you're good at all of these. Number one, I want you to be curious. I want you to ask about the other person, their life, their work, whatever they're willing to share. I don't want you to feel like you have to stay focused on work conversation the entire time you're networking. Usually that makes for a pretty boring experience and you don't actually get to know one another that well. So ask real questions about their real life, not just their work life. Number two is to be real. I want you to skip that therapist voice. You are a person. You are not a walking billboard. You do not have to sell yourself when you are networking. Selling yourself when you're not working is going to be skeezy and it is not going to get you the referrals. Being real, being interested and being really present in the conversation is going to get you far more referrals, even if you don't really talk about your practice very much. Which leads to number three, which is listening. Really listen. This is a big part of our job. And if you are a poor listener, when you are talking to somebody and you're networking, they're going to think you're going to be a poor listener as a therapist as well. So people are going to pick up on how you're holding space for them. And that's going to speak volumes about your skills as a therapist. Don't open the conversation about your ideal client. Like, don't just be like, hi, I'm Alison, I'd really love to work. Don't do that. Start with them, ask about them. And also don't put out this desperation about not having enough clients. This is something that I see people do sometimes consciously, sometimes not consciously, and it's a turn off. Nobody likes desperation, right? We want to help one another, but we don't want to put a therapy client into the arms of a desperate therapist. So think about how you're presenting yourself if you are feeling desperate. Like, that's fair, we've all been there. But I want you to take some time before your networking event. Really ground yourself into what you know is possible, what you're going to get to eventually. I want you to be in that abundance mindset, not in the scarcity mindset. When you're talking to people about what you do. Now, some of you may say you're worried that you're maybe less likable and more prickly. And here's what I want to say. First, I want you to make sure that that's not just low self esteem talking. And second, even if you are a little prickly, embrace it. There are referral sources out there who will appreciate your authenticity. They are also maybe a little prickly. So find your people. The ones who'd rather network with somebody real than someone trying too hard to impress them. Ultimately, networking is about building relationships. It's not just talking business and trying to get business people refer to those they know like and trust. So focus on that connection first. And if you're nervous, start small. Ask questions. Listen. You don't have to talk about yourself a ton. You can wait the whole time to talk about yourself until they're asking you questions about yourself. You don't need to interject about you at all. If you want more tips, I've got you covered. You can DM me the word sheets to get this week's worksheet, how to Not Hate Networking. It also links to all the previous ones in the series. We also have an entire course on networking in the Abundance Party, which if you send me the DM party, I will send you a link to. I hope you have a really great week. You've got this with networking. It is not as bad or scary or skeezy as you were imagining it to be. It is literally just you connecting with somebody who may be a new friend. All right, have a great week. I'll talk to you later.

[Unknown Co-host]

If you're ready for a much easier practice, Therapy Notes is the way to go. Go to therapynotes.com and use the promo code abundant for two months free. I hope that helped. If you have questions for Ask Allison.

[Allison]

Or you want to get your hands.

[Unknown Co-host]

On the worksheet for this episode, go to abundancepracticebuilding.com Links.

[Allison]

If you're listening, you.

[Unknown Co-host]

Probably need some support building your practice.

[Allison]

If you're a super newbie, grab our.

[Unknown Co-host]

Free checklist using the link in the show notes. I'd love for you to follow rate and review, but I really want you to share this episode with a therapist friend. Let's help all our colleagues build what they want.