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Abundant Practice Podcast
Episode #637: The Dark Side Of Discipline, feat. Daniel Woodrum
00:35:10
Guest Daniel Woodrum, co-author of , joins me to explore the concept of discipline, setting and maintaining high standards, personal values, and the importance of systems in achieving success. We also discuss strategies for overcoming procrastination,...
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- [00:00]
Alison
Foreign hi, welcome to the Abundant Practice Podcast. I'm Alison from Abundance Practice Building. I have a nearly diagnosable obsession with helping therapists build sustainable, joy filled private practices, just like I've done for tens of thousands of therapists across the world. I'm excited to help you too. If you want to fill your practice with ideal clients, we have loads of free resources and paid support. Go to abundance practice building.com Links all right, onto the show so I've talked about therapy notes on here for years. I could talk about the features and the benefits in my sleep. But there are a couple things I want you to know about Therapy notes that doesn't typically make it into an ad script. First is that they actually care if you like their platform. They don't only make themselves available on the phone to troubleshoot so you don't pull your hair out when you get stuck. They also take member suggestions and implement those that there's client demand for. Like Therapy Search, an included listing service that helps clients find you internal and external secure messaging Clinical outcome measures to keep an eye on how your clients are progressing A super smooth super bill process Real time eligibility to check on your client's insurance. In my conversations with the employees there at all levels, they all really believe in their product and they want you to love it too. Second, they are proudly independently owned. Why should you care about that? Because as soon as venture capital becomes involved, the focus shifts from making customers happy to making investors happy. Prices go way up. Innovation plateaus. Making more money with as little output as possible becomes the number one focus. With over 100,000 therapists using their platform, they've been able to stay incredibly successful and they don't have to sacrifice your experience to stay there. You can try two months free@therapynotes.com with the coupon code Abundant Some of y'all aren't sending HIPAA compliant email and it's a problem. Even if you're paying for a business Google Workspace account and have a signed BAA, your emails still aren't 100% compliant. That's where Palbox comes in. You can connect Palbox to your Google Workspace or Microsoft 365 email one time and you're completely covered. No one has to sign into portals. It sends and it shows up like any other email behind the scenes. Powbox software checks the security settings of the recipient and ensures that the email is sent properly so you're not violating HIPAA and the ways accidentally be. Now I know HIPAA isn't sexy, but we don't avoid compliance. In an Abundant Practice, we check the boxes we need to check. And this is the easiest way to do that with email. Check out my friends@powbox.com that's P A U B O X Use code abundant to get $250 off your first year of PalBox. That makes it less than a hundred dollars for your first year. Again, that's P A U b o x.com use code abundant. Welcome back to the Abundant Practice Podcast. I'm your host, Alison perior, founder of abundancepracticebuilding.com and I'm here with Daniel Woodrum. He's the head coach over at early to Rise. He has been a coach of mine for, gosh, since, I think, 2021 or something. And Daniel and another mentor of mine, Craig Ballantyne, have just written a book that I think is going to be really instrumental and helping you all get the things done that you need to get done and making sure that you are as efficient, as effective as humanly possible. So I invited Daniel on here because I really, really want y'all to know this stuff. So thanks so much for being here, Daniel.
- [03:38]
Daniel Woodrum
Thanks, Alison. I'm excited for the opportunity. And, yeah, it's. I mean, it's been, I think, three years now that we've been, you know, working together, and it's been amazing to see your journey, and I'm excited to pay it forward and share some of the things that we're working on right now.
- [03:49]
Alison
Yeah, absolutely. So. So let's talk some about discipline. I'm going to put an asterisk for the people who just cringed or had some sort of reaction to that word. I think as therapists, we can give our feelings a lot of credit and a lot of agency. And I think I also have a lot of neurodivergent folks that listen. And so it's not always as simple. It's just like, make yourself do the thing. So for those folks, I want to be really clear, this is not the conversation on discipline or disciplining children. Like, this is not that conversation. I want you to listen to this so that getting things done will be easier for you. So let's talk about discipline. That long caveat.
- [04:34]
Daniel Woodrum
Yeah. So I. I'm glad you said that, Allison, because I think most people associate discipline with pain and suffering because that's sort of a lot of what we were brought up with, you know, from our parents. And, you know, one of the things that we say that's really like, the key essence of the book is that our definition of discipline is putting a level 10 out of 10 efforts and focus and energy into your level 10 out of 10 problem. Whether that's a personal problem in your life, it could be finances, it could be relationship, it could be a bad habit or addiction that you have. It could be business related. You know, maybe it's a team member or maybe you're struggling financially in your business. And so putting a 10 out of 10 effort into your 10 out of 10 problem or opportunity to us is really the only definition of discipline that truly matters. And I don't think anyone's ever really talked about that before. And we've realized through just all the experience that we've had of our personally and then coaching others, is that really. That really is the only way to get ultimate, ultimate success and fulfillment and happiness in your life?
- [05:35]
Alison
Yeah. And it's been one of the things that y'all have coached me on that's made the biggest difference in my life and my business and all of it. Because often when things are not going so well in an area, we want to put our heads in sand. And I love that story Craig tells about speaking to gym owners. Will you tell that?
- [05:55]
Daniel Woodrum
Yes, yes. So, and Craig and I both kind of come from the health and wellness space. So this is the story that we share in the book and we talk a lot about is that there used to be this big conference every year called the Fitness Business Summit. It was hosted by a guy named Bedroom Cooley, who I know, you know, Alison, you've heard him speak before, one of the bigger fitness conferences. And it was like a thousand people every single year. And they just ran this thing for like eight or 10 years. And we always say that, you know, there'd be a thousand fitness professionals, gym owners show up every single year, and, you know, one year they would be 8% body fat and then $8 in the bank account. And the whole idea of the event was to help people grow their. Their fitness business and make more money, have more of an impact. And in between all of the presentation, the sessions, all these network breakout things, and, you know, in the hallways, all these trainers and gym owners and fitness professionals, all they wanted to talk about was the latest nutrition, you know, hacks and exercise strategies and all these latest, you know, apps and all these things. And so we joke, the next year they would come back and they would be 7% body fat. They were even in better shape, but they had $7 in the bank account and so that they were putting a level 10 out of 10 effort into a level 1 out of 10 problem. They were already in amazing shape. They didn't get. They didn't need to get in better shape, but they were putting level 1 out of 10 problem into their 1 out of 10 effort, their 10 out of 10 problem, which is trying to actually grow their business, make more money, make more of an impact. And so that's the story that we share that I think a lot of people kind of laugh at, but resonate, I'm sure, in life.
- [07:21]
Alison
Yeah. I mean, because we all do this to some extent. Right. We all have things we're probably actively avoiding in either our business or our lives.
- [07:28]
Daniel Woodrum
Yep.
- [07:29]
Alison
That continue. I mean, I'm thinking about, like, it will take me 15 minutes to get the things to my accountant that he needs. Like, 15 minutes. It's like I can put my hands on most of it, and I just keep not doing it. And I do this every single year.
- [07:43]
Daniel Woodrum
Yeah.
- [07:43]
Alison
Like, it's so simple and easy, and it's something I think about in the middle of the night.
- [07:48]
Daniel Woodrum
Yep.
- [07:48]
Alison
I'm like, oh, God, I was going to do that today. And I didn't abide by my schedule, which, you know, I'm really good about abiding by my schedule, but that's one thing I just kind of avoid.
- [07:57]
Daniel Woodrum
And I'm glad you said that because, like, obviously those are some extreme examples. But to kind of go to your point, my eyesight is not great. It gets worse and worse every year. And I continue to put off just making appointment for the eye doctor. Like, I know I need to book. I know I need to book an appointment, but it's like that inevitable. Like, well, I don't want to have to do it, and I don't have to get, you know, contacts or glasses. I'm going to keep procrastinating, putting it off. And it's like the stupidest thing when you think about it. And what I need to do is I needed to have a good friend of mine hold me accountable. And so he said, daniel, I'm gonna meet you at Starbucks in the morning time, which I'm sure we can talk about, Alison. My kind of routine. But he met me at Starbucks one early morning. This was just last week. And he essentially forced me, held me accountable to book an appointment. So I have an appointment booked, you know, for April. I had to book it a few weeks out. But, like, I feel I didn't realize how much stress and burden I was carrying myself by not doing this until I did. I was like, oh, my God. I just felt like this sense of release all of a sudden. And so sometimes it's these small things that we keep putting off, and they just compound and get bigger and bigger and bigger and more stressful and more stressful when you could taken five minutes to do it and it would have been over with.
- [09:02]
Alison
Yeah. Yeah. And like, life is hard enough. Really.
- [09:05]
Daniel Woodrum
Yes.
- [09:05]
Alison
Like these little stupid things that we could do super quickly. This just adds to the things that are actually problems.
- [09:11]
Daniel Woodrum
Yeah.
- [09:12]
Alison
And if we can get these off, then we have more mental space and clarity and less burden.
- [09:18]
Daniel Woodrum
Yeah. It's like the whole week. You know, you might have heard this phrase before. And Craig talks a lot about is like, death by a thousand cuts. You know, it's these little things that just add up, compound. But, you know, on a larger scale, they end up causing a lot of stress, a lot of headache, a lot of frustration, lost time, lost money, whatever it may be, when you could just simply either do them or have somebody else do them for you or eliminate them altogether, and you're going to have so much more freedom and headspace and mental energy.
- [09:43]
Alison
Absolutely. Can we talk about the standards?
- [09:46]
Daniel Woodrum
Yes, I would love to. Yes. Yeah. So there is this concept of standards, and how this sort of came about was I was at an event as actually a fitness business summit event I talked about earlier. This is a few years ago, Ed Mylett, who some of your audience might know, is a really popular motivational speaker and a business guy. And he came out on stage and he was saying, he's like, I always think about death. And he's like, I think about death not in the sense of, like a morbid way, but he's like, I use it as inspiration, perspective. He said, because I think about, you know, when I die. And, you know, he's Christian, obviously, when I go to heaven and I meet my maker, he's like, I know that God's gonna look at me and say, like, ed, this was the man, the husband, the. The. The. The businessman that I made you to be. These are the amount of people you could impact it. But as you stand here before me today, this is what you became like. This was the potential that you reach. And he's like, I want to be as close to that full potential as possible. And he talked about in that. In that presentation about how standards, like, how to live a life of high standards. And I was like, wow, that is so powerful. But at the time, I was not a parent yet. I didn't fully understand it. And as I became a parent and I realized the importance of having. Having Standards. And what is most important to me in my life, right? What is my definition of success? What is my definition of impact? What is my values and my vision? And when I realized that, I was like, wow, like this is a really, really powerful concept because to me, discipline is what you do. Standards are who you are. It's like your identity. It's what we call non negotiables or rules of your life. Now the problem is, is that if you don't identify your own personal standards, you're going to try to chase other people's standards, other people's success. And that is a very dangerous game of the comparison syndrome that I, I fell victim to for many, many years. Because when you don't have standards, we don't have a North Star. You try to live other people's life, you chase their North Star, you chase their standards, and you're never going to win that game because the rules are always changing. And it's not your actual path, it's not your road to success. And so I created this system in order to identify your standards because you probably hear a lot of times people say, live a lot, live a life of higher standards. Like, well, okay, how? Show me how to do that. And so the way that I've kind of created a system, Allison, is I want you to think about what are the four most important areas of your life? Like, what are the four areas of your life that mean the most to you? And just as an example, not to copy just an example, for me, it is family, it is health, it is discipline, and it is leadership. Like, those are the areas that are most important to me. So when you identify your, your four most important areas, then what I want you to do is I want you to write out a mission statement, some sort of mission statement or statement on, on why that is most important to you. So for me it's family. Like for family, for example, my mission statement is family comes before everything. They're the most important thing in my life. You're going to create a mission statement for each of your standards. And then what you're going to do is you're going to create three personal standards for each of those four categories. And so in totality, you're going to have 12 personal standards that you are going to try to live your life by. Those become your rules of your life, your non negotiables. All right? So for example, like if I have a standard, I don't take any coaching calls or appointments after 4pm because from 4 until 7:30 I have three young kids, we put them down about 7:30 at night. Between 4 and 7. 4 and 7:30. That is my family time. So if someone says, hey, Daniel, like, can you do an appointment? Can we do a meeting at 4, 4:35. Nope. It's a standard where if I didn't have that standard in place, I would negotiate with myself, I would break that, and I would. Then that would bleed into my family time. So it's a really, really powerful system and it takes some time for you to really sit down and identify those. But when you do again, you have more fulfillment, you're going to have more success, more happiness, and ultimately you're gonna be in your path to success and not worrying about chasing other people's definition of success.
- [13:39]
Alison
What I also love as somebody who has had too many standards, is that it's four. Yeah, it's like four categories. I mean, like a standard I've had for myself since I was in my 20s. And this is maybe being raised by a Southern woman who was raised by a Southern woman. I want my house to be ready for company within 15 minutes.
- [14:00]
Daniel Woodrum
Yeah.
- [14:01]
Alison
I never want my house to get messy enough that it would take me more than 15 minutes to get it ready for company.
- [14:06]
Daniel Woodrum
I love that, which I love.
- [14:08]
Alison
But also when you have three businesses and two kids and a partner and one of your kids has health issues. Yeah, that was one I had to let go of.
- [14:15]
Daniel Woodrum
Yeah.
- [14:16]
Alison
Now it might take me 30 minutes or two of us 30 minutes to get it ready.
- [14:20]
Daniel Woodrum
Yep.
- [14:21]
Alison
And I still get anxiety when I look around. I'm like, oh, there's clutter. But there are certain standards we might need to let go of as lives change, as situations change.
- [14:30]
Daniel Woodrum
Yes, yes.
- [14:31]
Alison
And I think setting it with, like, being really clear on what now, right now, what are your top four things with the understanding that that changes. Before you had kids.
- [14:40]
Daniel Woodrum
Yeah.
- [14:41]
Alison
You and Brittany, I'm sure, like, family was still on there, but it's on there. It's a bigger part of that pie.
- [14:47]
Daniel Woodrum
Yes, absolutely, yes. No, that. That is very. That's a good point. A lot of people say, well, and, you know, it's like, yes, your standards are not going to change much, but as your life changes, as season changes, you should always audit your standards and on the four areas that are most important to you. And yes, if. If a season changes or life events happen, you need to change that and absolutely change that. But in general, like, you know, if you're a vegan or if you don't swear you don't drink alcohol more than Likely that stuff is going to stay consistent throughout your entire life. But some of those will change, like you said, as you, as you have kids, as you evolve and things like that.
- [15:18]
Alison
Yeah. And some things, like I don't drink alcohol. I haven't had alcohol since 2019. Like, I don't even need to write that down because it's just so set in stone for me.
- [15:25]
Daniel Woodrum
Yep.
- [15:26]
Alison
That I can then devote that space to something else.
- [15:29]
Daniel Woodrum
Yes, yes. Another thing too is because, you know, people might say, like one of my standards is to exercise every single day. And you might think yourself, well, Daniel, you told me earlier that discipline is putting a 10 out of 10 effort into a tenant problem. Like, if health is not a problem, why are you still doing that? Well, it's not discipline. That's a standard. That's just a non negotiable. So that's really what the difference is. Again, discipline is what you do. Standards are just, they're who you are.
- [15:51]
Alison
Right. Which for therapists listening, like we're talking about values. Right. Like your values are what drive your standards and then your discipline is how you fulfill those standards.
- [16:02]
Daniel Woodrum
Yes, absolutely. Another thing we talk a lot about in the book is you need systems as well. Like you cannot just rely because a lot of times discipline is still reliant on willpower and motivation, which is always fleeting. You know, there's always external factors with that, whether it's your mood, your stress, your energy levels, the weather. There's so many different things with that. But when you have systems in place, it helps make success automatic. It helps make action automatic. So like for me, for example is I one of, I have a lot of different systems that I, that I follow, that I, that I use. But one of the things that I do is in order to get up in the morning time, very consistently every single morning, I have a system where the night before I will go ahead and lay out my clothes and I will go and pick out my clothes. I'll put them in the bathroom or bathroom sink. That way it's done. I have my computer bag packed, I have my water bottle packed. I then will turn my alarm on, put my phone across the room and plug it up. So that way my alarm goes off, I have to get up out of bed to turn it off. And you know, it's tempting to just roll over if it's right there by your bed and hit the snooze button. And then, and then also I have a very clear like a three minute routine that I do in the morning time. So like that is a system for me where I know that that way if I don't do that, I'm going to be more tempted to hit the snooze button, talk myself into sleeping more or not doing what I need to do in order to start my morning, which is very important to me so I can get things done and then get back and spend time with my kids and get them to school in the morning time.
- [17:25]
Alison
It takes the drama out of it too.
- [17:28]
Daniel Woodrum
Yes.
- [17:28]
Alison
Right. Because the thing I struggle with, when I feel like I'm struggling with discipline, is I'm trying to use willpower, which I've used up hours before. Like my, my cachet of willpower for the day. I'm trying to use willpower to do something I maybe don't want to do. So I'm talking myself into it, talking myself out to it, and I'm going back and forth.
- [17:47]
Daniel Woodrum
Yeah.
- [17:47]
Alison
When, if you just take the action and you just make it happen, it just takes the drama out of it and it's done.
- [17:54]
Daniel Woodrum
It does. Yep.
- [17:55]
Alison
And I mean, you get up extraordinarily early. Like you're up and at Starbucks at 4:30.
- [18:01]
Daniel Woodrum
Yes.
- [18:01]
Alison
With your three minute routine.
- [18:03]
Daniel Woodrum
Yes, yes. And I tell people like I, I, I very like. I don't normally tell people when most people know when I wake up. If you follow me like an Instagram, if, you know, if you know me like you do, Allison, because I mean, it's very consistent every day. But you know, I made a video on Instagram the other day that I was like, this is really good. Is it? It doesn't matter what time you wake up in the morning. Like there's Nothing magic about 5am club, 6am, 7am it doesn't matter. Because if you get up, if you waste an hour scrolling on your phone and you're just kind of laying around, you're not doing things that are important to you in the morning time, whether that's work, family, exercise, whatever your definition of success in the morning time, if you're not doing that, then it doesn't matter what time you wake up. So to me it's more about like the consistency of trying to wake up at the same time every single day to the best of your ability, and then having some sort of morning routine that is consistent. So whatever is important to you first thing in the morning, you can take action on that. You have the systems in place. So again, it's just more automatic. And the more that you can stack those wins up, the easier it becomes. Like one of my favorite Things is compliance breeds confidence. And so the more compliance you can have, the more you can kind of stack those wins. Doesn't mean you're gonna be perfect. But to me, discipline is not about being perfect or all these winning streaks. It's like, hey, if you mess up, if you have a bad day, if you have a bad week, you're able to get back on track. And to me, that's the ultimate definition of discipline.
- [19:19]
Alison
Yeah. Yeah. And so in the dark side of discipline you and Craig are talking about, I'm assuming standards and values. And can you talk some about some systems that have been helpful? Like you shared yours for getting up. But what's something that y'all have helped your coaching clients with that you feel like most people might be able to benefit from?
- [19:39]
Daniel Woodrum
Yeah, absolutely. So one of the systems that we have is that we have this thing called non urgent important work, which is a system in the morning time, which I know you, you, I love it, Austin. Is that, you know, a lot of times, again, we wake up, you know, as, as business owners, therapists, whatever it may be, and you wake up and you immediately go into reaction mode. You know what I mean? Like you're doing a long to do list or if you're replying back to client emails or your team member emails or messages, and you just wake up. And you wake up in that heightened stress, right? And you wake up and you're just reacting. You're not actually like blocking time. You're not having productive time. So one thing that we talk about is we call it newi work. It's non urgent important work. So non urgent important worker things that are not urgent, they don't need to be done right now, but they are important for the long, long term success of your business. And that could be anything from like creating new programs or marketing or maybe it's something personal. Maybe it's like you need to get taxes done. Now, I know it's urgent right now we're doing this, but maybe it's taxes, you know what I mean? And it's like they're not due for a while, but they're not urgent. But the longer you put them off, the more urgent they become. And. But it's important to get those things done. So if you dedicate 30 minutes into the non urgent important work every single day, you're going to be able to make a lot more success in your business and really work on your business and not in your business. Because as we know when as the day starts and if you start seeing clients Whether it's in person or virtually. Again, it's just a lot of client facing a lot of urgent. There's a lot more fires to put out and you have less control. You have a lot more control, usually more creativity, more energy first thing in the morning. So if you could just do that, that is one system that I promise you will impact your business.
- [21:20]
Alison
And so for therapists, I'm thinking y'all could be doing like content creation during that time. That's when I, when you all read my newsletter, when you. Most of my social media post captions. Those kinds of things are typically written at five in the morning. Because I will say my brain, I'm a morning person. You might not be. So don't. Whoever's listening, don't feel like 5am it's not the magic time for me, the morning my brain is freshest. I can get hours of work done in a shorter period of time time because my brain is like, I'm just less distracted and it's fresher.
- [21:52]
Daniel Woodrum
Yes. And I don't think this is based on facts, but, you know, sometimes you say it so much like this is factual, like you're five times more productive in the morning time than you are any other time of the day. You know, I mean, two hours in the morning time could be really worth like 10 hours. You know what I mean? Because if you do those same things in the afternoon or in the evening time, typically you're not going to be nearly as focused and as productive. So if you can just leverage, like you said, even if you're not a morning person, maybe it's not 5:00, maybe it's 8:00 in the morning, maybe it's 10:00 in the morning, you know, but if you can just leverage those early hours when you do wake up, oh my gosh, it's an absolute game changer.
- [22:27]
Alison
Yeah. Can we talk about there's a thing you need to do, you don't want to do it. I know my audience is like, yeah, this sounds great. And I can. It, it, it's called values and it's called standards and it's called discipline. But it also kind of smells like willpower. So can we talk about how to get yourself to do the thing? Like we've talked some about systems.
- [22:49]
Daniel Woodrum
Yep.
- [22:49]
Alison
We've talked some about accountability. Maybe we could go into that a bit more. How to get. Knock stuff out.
- [22:55]
Daniel Woodrum
Yeah. I mean, I think the, the couple things are make it as easy as possible. We say, like grease the groove. Like, how can you make it as easy as possible. So for. I mean, just. Again, for example, let's say that you are launching a new program, and you need to do some marketing that requires a lot of copywriting. And maybe you just keep putting on. It's like, oh, like every morning I wake up and I tell myself, I'm gonna do it. I just don't do it. I keep putting it off. What can you do, like, the day or the night before to make it easier for you? Well, what if I could just. You know, what if I could just make five bullet points the night before on a piece of paper, on a Google Doc? That way to wake up in the morning. I've kind of got a guide, and there's less things I need to think about. I can just start taking action. So how can you make it easier? That's one thing. Also, like, a lot of times we have this big project, we look at the start and the finish, and that can just seem so overwhelming. Like, just say, okay, how do I get to point A to point B? Like, what. What is. What can I do for the next 15 minutes? That's just gonna at least get me started? Because a lot of times the hardest parts. Getting started, you know, what can I do to just get started? Get some momentum, Set a timer for 15 minutes. Just work on it. And after the 15 minutes, if you're like, hey, I'm in the flow. I'm gonna keep going. Great. But if you're like, I'm done with this for a while, for a while. Until tomorrow, at least you got 15 minutes done. So that's one thing. Another thing I would say. And then you mentioned accountability, Allison, that is, to me, the biggest thing. We always say you'll move mountains if you have accountability. You want to find people that you deeply do not want to disappoint. Okay, yeah. Like, accountability is not created equal across the board. Like, there could be you have somebody, I don't know, a neighbor or maybe a friend who you care about, but you don't really care. If you let them down, you're not. They're not going to help you move mountains. But if there is truly somebody, whether it's a mentor or a colleague or a significant other, I mean, it could be anybody, a pastor, whatever it is that you know, you deeply do not want to disappoint. If you tell them what you. What you want to do, what you're looking to accomplish, and how they specifically hold you accountable, and then you do that, you're gonna move mountains. You really are just to give example. Like, I. This was just not too long ago. I found myself. I was on my settings, on my phone, looking for something else, and I realized, like, oh my God, I'm averaging four and a half hours on my phone. Like, it was like a smack in the face. Like, I didn't realize I was on my phone that much. And they kind of broke it down. As you guys know of what you're spending time on a lot of the social media, YouTube, Internet, all these things. I was like, okay. Like, no wonder I've just felt stressed. Not as productive in this discipline guy. Like, we can all follow bad habits, bad patterns. I'm like, okay, like, I need to significantly cut this. I need to get it down like two hours, under two hours a day. And it's like, okay, so here's how I'm going to do this. So I created a system for it. And then I'm like, okay, well, now I need people who are going to hold me accountable. Because if I just rely on willpower and if I just try to do it myself, I'll let myself down every day of the week, unfortunately, you know, so I'm like, all right, who can I do that? So there's three people on our team who you know, Allison, Shannon, Galo and Gavin. They're coaching our team. I deeply not want to disappoint them. I respect them a lot. I don't want to be a hypocrite as head of coaching. And, you know, like, that would be hypocritical me. So I said, hey, guys, over the next 21 days, here's what I'm gonna do. I'm going to take a screenshot of my phone at 7pm and I'm going to text it to you guys in this WhatsApp group. And you don't need to say anything. I'm just doing this for accountability, okay? My goal is to keep it or two hours. I did that for three weeks. I think one day I missed it, but all the other days I was in the two hours. And after that I created a habit. I had systems in place. I didn't need them so much more for accountability. So I know it's a long winded answer, but that really is the power of accountability. And if you're progressing something, just make it as easy as possible. Don't worry about all the steps. Just what's the next best step that I can take? And that takes a bit. And build compliance.
- [26:34]
Alison
Yeah, I love that. And I think about the not wanting to disappoint people. We see this dynamic. My limitless practice program, which is for therapists who are full, they're making big changes in their practice. They're trying not to blow their business up on the way. They're trying to make it like the thing that they meant to create on the front end, but it just got away from them. We do accountability emails in there every week in addition to our weekly group calls and their one on ones. And so I'm asking them about those things. Like how did that go last week you said you were going to do X, Y and Z. How did it go? And they know I'm going to ask them. And most people don't expect that an email is going to be like a super impactful part of a program. But having that weekly email relationship where they know like I might, I might not call them out in front of the whole group depending on the thing. I also might, but I'm definitely going to call them on something in the email.
- [27:28]
Daniel Woodrum
Yeah.
- [27:29]
Alison
People when they're graduating from the program are like those emails, man, those were incredible. Because it just helped people chug along and do those things that were annoying and maybe they had some resistance to because they didn't want to disappoint me and they knew that I would ask them about it.
- [27:46]
Daniel Woodrum
Yeah. And I mean it's. You're spot on. Like we, I mean we will work with anywhere from six figure business. We work people like nine figure businesses. And they all pretty much say like, you know, accountability is the number one factor that, that I appreciate for this program, you know. Yeah. We do marketing and sales and leadership and all these other things. But it's like the accountability is really what is the biggest difference. So I couldn't agree with you more there.
- [28:08]
Alison
Yeah, yeah. What other pieces are important for people to be able to like not just rely on fraying willpower.
- [28:17]
Daniel Woodrum
Yeah. So another thing too is identity. Like so let me also real quick break it down. We had this, we have this pyramid in the book that we talk about. The pyramid of peak performance is there's different layers to it and the very top is motivation, which is actually the least important. Okay. Again, it's fleeting, it's external factors. The next one is under that is challenges. So you know, you guys have probably seen a lot of these challenges online of like different fitness challenges, health challenges, sales challenges, relationship challenges, all these things. And the problem with that is that these challenges that other people create, that's their definition of success, you know. But it like working out twice a day, you know, like reading 10 pages a day and all these things like, okay, that's great. But like what, how does that make you disciplined? How does that make you successful? That's just their idea of success, you know. So we do believe that motivation can be a factor if it's done correctly, if it's, if it's paired with action right away, of course there's something wrong. Motivation and challenges can be okay, but you should do like a custom challenge. For example. When I realized that I was on my phone four and a half hours, I created that challenge, essentially a challenge for myself, but it was a custom challenge. It was what I wanted. It was what I needed. Not what somebody else wanted, not what someone else needed. So if you find yourself tagging along and all these different kind of like challenges online, just be mindful, like, okay, is this challenge really something that I want? Is it something I need? If the answer is yes, by all means do it. But if not, how can you take some of those concepts but apply it and customize it more for what you want, what you need. Motivation. We have challenges, then we have discipline, which we've talked about. Then we have systems, which we've already talked about. And then the next layer right before standard is identity. And you know, really when it comes down to identity, it's, it's your self beliefs, it's the beliefs that you, that you've told yourself over the years. And a lot of times these beliefs that we have are so deep rooted, we've told ourselves these stories over the years and maybe the stories are from our parents and they, they instill them in us, right? And we're still, we're still kind of living those stories out, still believing those stories. Maybe you had friends or family or colleagues say these stories and you believe those. And so in order to change your identity, you have to change the story that you're selling yourself. A lot of people that join our coaching program, they're not morning people and they've told themselves, I'm not a morning person. I'm not a morning person. I'm not a morning person. Well, yeah, it's going to be hard to become a morning person if you tell yourself that every single day. So you need to shift that identity. You need to change the story that you're telling yourself and you need to pair that with action. Because it's one thing to believe something, but if you don't actually pair that with action, then it's just, you know, there's not going to be, you're not going to reach those standards. So you need to change the stories. And a personal example for me here, Allison, is that I've always told myself internally, I have an addictive personality. You know, there are facts that can kind of back that along. Like, I. I do have a. I do have addictive personality. I get addicted to things very easily. Some of those things are bad habits that I've done in the past. Some of those things are actually good things, like addicted to my work, you know, which can be beneficial, is also can be a detriment if you let it. So I've always told this story, like, I'm addicted. I'm addicted. I'm addicted. And I had this, like, epiphany, like, a year ago. I'm like. I was on a walk, which is my best thinking time, and I'm like, how can I rewire my brain? How can I rewire this story, this belief? And so I was just doing a lot of internal work, and I'm like, what if I change the story to I'm passionate. I'm not addicted to things. I'm passionate about things. Okay. And so now when I change that story, if I was addicted, if I said I have addicted personality, and I'm. That. That was the excuse of, well, why do I drink so much? Well, I have addictive personality. It's not really my fault. It's just my addictive personality. But now when I say I'm passionate, am I passionate about alcohol? No, I'm not passionate alcohol. So it was easier for me to remove myself from some of those bad habits and then steer myself from. Steer myself towards some of those positive habits, such as, I'm passionate about my family. I'm passionate about leadership. I'm passionate about discipline. And so by me rewiring that story in my head, it's allowed me to take the action steps and to create higher standards for myself.
- [32:24]
Alison
Yeah. And I think about. I have the story of, like, well, I've just. I'm. I'm just not athletic.
- [32:29]
Daniel Woodrum
Yeah.
- [32:30]
Alison
You know, I'm just not. And there have been times in my life when I've absolutely been athletic, but the times that I haven't, it's because I have this really great story I can just keep reinforcing for myself. And when you do something that kind of shows you it's not the truth day after day, it also helps that shift before you even make the story different. Sometimes you can force the story different by just doing the opposite.
- [32:57]
Daniel Woodrum
Yes. And that's what like, I used to be the vision board Guy. Right. I don't know if they're as popular now, but, you know, you had this board and all these things that you wanted kind of stapled or thumb, thumbnail, thumbtack to it. I used to do that. I'd look at all these things and like, man, like, look at this thing. Every day for a year, two years. I'm like, I'm not really reaching that vision. I don't think I'm getting any closer. It's like, well, okay, I'm looking at this thing every day. So maybe I'm having more internal belief, like, I'm gonna do those things, but if I don't pair it with action, it doesn't matter. So, again, when you want to, like, shift your beliefs, shift your story, shift your identity, you need to work on the internal stuff, but you also need to pair it with action. And when you can combine those two, that's when everything's going to change for you.
- [33:35]
Alison
Amazing.
- [33:36]
Daniel Woodrum
Yeah.
- [33:36]
Alison
So, Daniel, how can everybody get the Dark side of Discipline?
- [33:39]
Daniel Woodrum
Yeah. So it's on Amazon now. Go to Amazon. The Dark side of Discipline. You can find it everywhere. We've got paperback, hard copy, Kindle audiobook got released today, which is amazing. You can also go to darksideofdiscipline.com you can get all the information there. And then it should be in bookstores as well very soon.
- [33:58]
Alison
Yay. Thank you so much, Daniel. I hope that. I hope that people take action and get the book. I've ordered mine, but it's not here yet. And ultimately I'm just gonna get it on. On audible. Anyway, that's how I listen. I listen to everything. So maybe I'll gift this one. Yes. So take action, y'all, so that you can make a difference and make the changes and reach the goals and all those kinds of things that are important to you and that you started this business to begin with. So thanks for your time, Daniel.
- [34:24]
Daniel Woodrum
Thanks, Alison. Appreciate it.
- [34:27]
Alison
If you're ready for a much easier practice, Therapy Notes is the way to go. Go to therapynotes.com and use the promo code abundant for two months free. Make sure your email is actually hipaa compliant with PowBox. Use code ABUNDANT to get PAUBOX for less than $100 your first year@paubox.com if you're listening, you probably need some support building your practice. If you're a super newbie, grab our free checklist using the link in the Show Notes. I'd love for you to follow rate and review, but I really want you to share this episode with a therapist friend. Let's help all our colleagues build what they want.