Episode #685: Shifting Niches

Summary

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Abundant Practice Podcast: Episode #685 - Shifting Niches

Host: Allison Puryear
Guest: Megan
Date: September 10, 2025

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Episode Overview

In this candid and practical episode, Allison Puryear coaches Megan, a private practice therapist, through the complexities of shifting her clinical niche. They explore the process of identifying an ideal client profile, navigating website messaging, setting boundaries, adjusting fees and session structures, and the deeply personal questions around therapist self-disclosure. The conversation is rich with real-world examples, laughter, and gentle nudges toward sustainable practice building.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Evolving Your Niche (02:18–04:24)

• Megan describes moving from focusing on “over-controlled eating disorders” to recognizing that her true clinical passion lies in working with clients who have ADHD, often in combination with eating disorders and anxiety.
• She notes: “In working with over-controlled people, I’ve learned that’s such a bad fit for me. It has to be ADHD.” (02:28, Megan)
• Allison enthusiastically supports this shift, “ADHD and eating disorders, the combo—amazing.” (02:36, Allison)

2. Managing Workload & Financial Goals (03:38–04:06)

• Megan talks about her caseload (averaging 12–13 sessions/week) and her goal to increase to 15–16 for financial stability, especially as her child starts preschool.
• “I know it’s still kind of a lot, but kids are really expensive, so I feel like I need to kind of be at that.” (03:57, Megan)

3. Redefining Boundaries: Letting Go of Sunday Sessions (04:29–09:01)

• Megan expresses discomfort about working Sundays, typically held for high-achieving, overcommitted clients.
• Allison reframes Sunday sessions as clinically problematic: “It’s enabling for her to see you on a Sunday.” (05:07, Allison)
• They discuss the clinical value of prioritizing one’s mental health even when it conflicts with other commitments.
• Megan: “Oh my god, that’s everyone who sees me on a Sunday.” (05:19, Megan)
• Allison: “The transition for them is actually going to be much more clinically important than just, like, I don’t want to work these hours anymore.” (05:28, Allison)
• Megan feels relieved and plans to exit Sunday work: “I’m gonna get out of Sundays. Thank you.” (08:59, Megan)

4. Session Fees & Session Length Adjustments (09:11–10:38)

• Megan has recently raised her rate to $300 per session and asks about incremental annual increases.
• Allison: “I like setting a precedent of the fee going up every year… Otherwise I end up talking to people who are like, I haven’t raised my fee in seven years.” (09:35, Allison)
• Megan contemplates shortening her session length from 50 to 45 minutes instead of, or alongside, a rate increase; Allison approves: “Maybe instead of raising the rate, I’m going to shorten sessions by five minutes. So maybe that’s what you do the next time.” (10:10, Allison)

5. Niche Messaging for Website & Internalized ADHD (10:44–18:13)

• Megan struggles with messaging on her website as her understanding of her ideal client evolves.
• Allison encourages subtle language changes that speak directly to high-functioning, late-diagnosed ADHDers: “Look at the ways that ADHD shows up for them… drop, like, drizzle that through your website.” (11:30, Allison)
• Discussion of “internalized ADHD” as a less-recognized, more female-presenting subtype—high-achieving, intense, perfectionistic.
• Megan: “My hyperactivity was in my perfectionism and people pleasing.” (12:09, Megan)
• Allison reassures: “I think you’re nailing it here… you are absolutely talking about this internalized ADHDer with an eating disorder.” (17:19, Allison)
• Both acknowledge the newness of the concept:
  Allison: “This is something very new to me.” (17:42, Allison)

6. Ethics: Testimonials on Therapist Websites (15:09–16:48)

• Megan describes posting unsolicited testimonials from former clients who mailed thank-you cards post-termination.
• Allison cautions: “While it might be totally legit, what it does allow is the board to question you about it. So I think it just potentially opens a door for some drama…” (15:56, Allison)
• Consensus: best to remove testimonials to avoid board scrutiny, especially since Megan’s practice is already attracting ideal clients.

7. Therapist Self-Disclosure Dilemmas (18:17–21:33)

• Megan debates whether to mention her own ADHD diagnosis on her “About Me” page.
• Allison recommends careful, values-driven self-disclosure:
  “I always like the model somebody taught me of knowing what you’re going to disclose and why, like having it all literally written down…so that it’s not just the thing that flies out of your mouth…” (20:23, Allison)
• Megan feels disclosure may build connection: “The person who helped me the most had ADHD and I think if I didn’t know they had it, I would have felt like… I couldn’t tell them about it.” (21:02, Megan)

8. Blogging, Speaking, and SEO Strategies (24:04–26:09)

• Megan mentions inconsistent blogging; Allison assures it’s not necessary if client flow is steady.
• They discuss requesting backlinks from organizations where Megan has spoken or serves, to improve her SEO.
• Allison: “You always have the right to ask. You just don’t have the right to expect.” (26:00, Allison)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On clinical boundaries:
  “If we were looking at it like her over-commitments is her drug…” (05:10, Allison)
• On perfectionism & ADHD:
  “Maybe something about, like, your perfectionism has driven almost everything you’ve done, and it feels like it runs on a motor.” (18:26, Allison)
• On incremental change:
  “I feel the same sense of dread I did before I did all the other changes that now seem like no brainers and not a big deal.” (26:24, Megan)

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Important Timestamps

• 02:18 – Megan discusses shifting her niche focus
• 03:38 – Financial goals and increasing session counts
• 04:29 – The struggle with Sunday sessions begins
• 05:28 – Allison reframes Sunday clients’ clinical needs
• 08:59 – Megan commits to dropping Sunday hours
• 09:11 – Session fee and fee-raising strategy
• 10:09 – Adjusting session length from 50 to 45 minutes
• 11:41 – Messaging “internalized ADHD” on the website
• 15:09 – Ethics and risk of client testimonials
• 18:26 – Rewording website copy for niche alignment
• 20:23 – The model for intentional self-disclosure
• 21:02 – Disclosure’s client impact
• 24:04 – Blogging frequency and relevance
• 25:55 – Backlink requests for SEO

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Conclusion:

This episode serves as an honest, supportive guide for therapists navigating niche clarity, setting sustainable boundaries, and marketing authentically. Allison delivers both affirmation and actionable strategies, with practical advice on everything from website tweaks to managing one’s clinical appetite for “intensity.” Therapists considering pivots in their private practices will find encouragement, reassurance, and concrete next steps.

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Transcript

[A]

Foreign.

[B]

Hi, welcome to the Abundant Practice Podcast. I'm Alison from Abundance Practice Building. I have a nearly diagnosable obsession with helping therapists build sustainable, joy filled private practices. Just like I've done for tens of thousands of therapists across the world. I'm excited to help you too. If you want to fill your practice with ideal clients, we have loads of free resources and paid support. Go to abundance practice building.com Links all right, onto the show. So I've talked about therapy notes on here for years. I could talk about the features and the benefits in my sleep. But there are a couple things I want you to know about therapy notes that doesn't typically make it into an ad script. First is that they actually care if you like their platform. They don't only make themselves available on the phone to troubleshoot so you don't pull your hair out when you get stuck. They also take member suggestions and implement those that there's client demand for. Like Therapy Search, an included listing service that helps clients find you internal and external secure messaging. Clinical outcome measures to keep an eye on how your clients are progressing. A super smooth, super bill process. Real time eligibility to check on your client's insurance. In my conversations with the employees there at all levels, they all really believe in their product and they want you to love it too. Second, they are proudly independently owned. Why should you care about that? Because as soon as venture capital becomes involved, the focus shifts from making customers happy to making investors happy. Prices go way up. Innovation plateaus. Making more money with as little output as possible becomes the number one focus. With over 100,000 therapists using their platform, they've been able to stay incredibly successful and they don't have to sacrifice your experience to stay there. You can try two months [e-mail] with the coupon code Abundant. How you doing, Megan?

[A]

How are you?

[B]

I'm good, I'm good.

[A]

I'm really shocked. Not one of these. This is crazy.

[B]

I know. Nice work fast. I think they went in two minutes this time. So.

[A]

Yeah, I can't believe it. Like I'm like what are we doing here? Okay. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Okay. Questions for you?

[B]

Yeah, ask away.

[A]

Okay. So I think I wanted to talk about my niche because it's changed a little bit. It was like going to do the over control eating disorder and then in working with over controlled people it's, I've learned that's like such a bad fit for me. It has to be adhd.

[B]

Okay. ADHD and eating disorders like the combo. Amazing.

[A]

Yeah. And I think I, like, thrown anxiety in there, too, just because everybody's anxious. And that one's. I don't know. It's just. I'm always doing that, too, so that one's in there.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But, like, push is like, eating disorders. Anxiety.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Or ADHD in eating disorders. Yeah.

[B]

Love it. That sounds great.

[A]

I feel like my website doesn't tie those together because I wrote it for a different niche. And that's the thing that I'm like, this doesn't totally flow. I'm still getting a fair amount of referrals. Like, I'm not freaking out in July. Like, I've usually panicked about money. I'm not. Yeah. But I think I. That's maybe what I was thinking we could talk about. Yeah. And I also realized I need to make more money, but I think I just need to do more sessions in a week.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And then that will make the money.

[B]

Okay. But you're getting lots of calls, so.

[A]

What'S not lots of calls, but just, like, usually in June, I hear from no one. And so the fact that anybody's coming in, I'm like, what is happening? This is a miracle. Got it. Got it. A lot. A lot. I'm not turning anyone away yet.

[B]

Okay. Got it.

[A]

And I'm probably averaging, like, 12 to 13 sessions a week, and I think I need more like 15, 16 to make the amount of money. Okay.

[B]

So you make that amount of money, how's it gonna feel? Does that feel like a good number for you from a life perspective?

[A]

I think so. My son's gonna go to preschool, so I think I'll be able to do it. Yeah. That was what I. That was my max when I. Before I had kids.

[B]

Okay, perfect.

[A]

So I know it's still kind of a lot, but I'm like, kids are really expensive, so I feel like I need to kind of be at that. And if he's at preschool, I think I can do it.

[B]

Awesome. Okay, cool.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So in terms of, like, you know, redoing your website, you're a great writer, so we've got that on board. It's just. And. And I guess my question is, do you. Does your person know that they have ADHD already?

[A]

No.

[B]

Okay. Fun. Okay.

[A]

Oh, okay. Actually, one question I should ask you before I go into this.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because I'm realizing I don't know who else to ask. Sundays. I'm still working Sundays, and I hate it.

[B]

What are you doing? Come on.

[A]

Hate it. I know, I know. I think once he goes to preschool, I can, like, do Monday through Thursday. But I have like this one client that I've like feel weirdly committed to and I'm just like, do I just drop Sundays or should I like hang in there for her? I feel very confused about Sundays.

[B]

What's going on in her life, that that's the only possible time she can be seen.

[A]

It's like the extreme workaholics of the high achiever high school students.

[B]

Okay. Amazing. And so it's actually a clinical issue. It's bad for her to see you on a Sunday. It's enabling for her to see you on a Sunday.

[A]

What? Really?

[B]

Yeah. Right. I mean, if we're looking at, if we were looking at it like, like her over commitments is her drug.

[A]

Oh, it is. Oh. Oh, my God. That's everyone who sees me on a Sunday.

[B]

Pretty much 100%.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So this is your. The transition for them is actually going to be much more clinically important than just like, I don't want to work these hours anymore for you. Yeah. Like the conversations you get to have around the shift. It's not just the way that I usually recommend it, which is like, I'm changing my hours. I'm now not working Sundays. But it's going to be like, I realized that by working on this day when you don't have other things scheduled, I allow you to only prioritize your own mental health when it's not in conflict with the thing that is hurting your mental health.

[A]

With the frantic doing. Yeah, that's like the chronic thing. Wow. Okay. I feel like I have to wait until January. I've been doing the thing where after six cancellations, I just charge them. They give me notice because it's rich people and they're traveling all the time. And so I bought like, I charged her for last Sunday and she wasn't here. And it's really helped filling in my income for the rest of the year. But I feel like it's for a calendar year.

[B]

I do that.

[A]

And so I need to work Sundays for the end of the calendar year.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I don't know. That feels weird. So I'm, I think they're the end of the year and I'd like to.

[B]

Revisit the six misses too. That's a lot.

[A]

Is that a lot? Well, it's like with over 24 hour notice.

[B]

Right, okay. Just like.

[A]

But it's like I'm holding Sunday at 10am for her and that's such a hot one that I'm like, even if you give me enough notice, like I have to charge you after six. So is that all that to me seems not like a lot. Or is it.

[B]

I don't know. I'm trying to re. Reconfigure the way I'm thinking about might be a reasonable amount because. Yeah, with 24. Yeah. Or you could also go to just like a no cancellation policy.

[A]

Right. I think with the. With like, work working 9 to 5, I feel like I don't have to guard those hours as like, you know what I mean? Like, I feel like people can cancel and it's more okay because they're not in high demand, whereas I'm, like, turning people away from my Sunday hours. And that's when I'm like, okay, this sucks if you're canceling on me a bunch of.

[B]

So that.

[A]

To that. And then I've done that with her the next two last two years. She's supposed to be going away to college, probably in a different state, and we talked about me even getting licensed in that state to continue working with her because it's something I want to do anyways. But I think that's why I feel so, like, committed to her now that I'm like, oh, my God, I can't get out of Sundays. But no, you're right, I can. And it's five months.

[B]

It's better for her.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I mean, I would say it's. It's better for this to happen before January.

[A]

I know. Like, I've already taken their money, though, so now it feels weird to, like, hold the spot and then I won't have the spot anymore. So it's like, why'd I take their money?

[B]

Well, you're not taking their money unless they don't come.

[A]

Yeah, but they didn't come, and I helped. Right. And then I charged them.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So you're saying I could do it before January?

[B]

Yeah, I think. I honestly think it would be better before the school year starts so that they can plan around therapy. Because if they. Because if. If this happens in January when she's already doing track these days and debate these days, like, it's much harder versus, like, I have this commitment Thursdays.

[A]

Wow. Okay.

[B]

Yeah. I love it when I think as therapists, we often over accommodate our clients anyway, not even out of our own sense of scarcity, but just because we love them, you know, like, we care about them and we want to make things easy. And so it's hard to go back on that. When you realize there's a, like, solid, important, clinical reason to change it, then it makes it easier because it's truly Truly in their best interest. Okay. Okay.

[A]

I'm gonna get out of Sundays. Thank you.

[B]

Amazing. Love it.

[A]

Thank you. Yeah. Sorry, I just. That was like one thing. I was like, we have to talk about Sundays. I can't keep living like this. No, I hate it.

[B]

Yeah. That's awful.

[A]

Yeah. And I'm charging 300 a session and now it feels fine.

[B]

Yes. Remember how scary it was?

[A]

It was like the scariest thing that ever happened. Totally fine.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah, it feels totally fine. And then how much do people normally raise it every year? Like, I guess I. I feel like 300 feels okay. So I was going to do like the incremental life, like, you know, like 3% or whatever. Just like to like, or something this year.

[B]

Yeah, I mean, I. I like setting a precedent of the fee going up every year because otherwise I end up talking to people who are like, I haven't raised my fee in seven years.

[A]

And it's like, oh, the world is.

[B]

A different place than it was back before COVID Yeah. So, yeah, I think if 300 is feeling fine, then sure, a 3% cost of living raise. Or maybe to actually look at the cost of inflation and see what the actual. Because it's probably not 3%, but see what the cost of living raise needs to be.

[A]

And then I wanted to go to 45 minute sessions from 50. Is that crazy?

[B]

No.

[A]

Are you sure?

[B]

What you could do is just saying maybe instead of raising the rate on the date as I said I was going to do on my paperwork, I'm going to shorten sessions by five minutes instead of charging more money. So maybe that's what you do the next time.

[A]

Okay. Yeah. Because every January they get something from me where something changes inconveniently for them. So maybe that's thing. Because I always go over. I just feel like 45 makes more sense. Yeah, I just feel like it makes more sense.

[B]

Awesome. Love it.

[A]

Okay, thank you. Sorry, back to your question.

[B]

Yeah. Back to niche. Yeah. Adhd.

[A]

Do they know they have it often? No, because they're really high function. Because it's me. Right. It's just me. So it's like they're really high functioning ADHDers who like don't really know it or who are like very late diagnosed. Yeah, like very.

[B]

But they know they have eating disorders.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. Okay. So I think you drop clues because you talk about like the. And this means you don't have to change your copy significantly, but you look at the ways that ADHD shows up for them. Like if they have pretty decent executive functioning or they've developed systems because their ego wouldn't be able to handle them dropping balls. Then to look at, like, how does you know all of our diagnoses aren't diagnoses unless they're negatively impacting our lives.

[A]

Right.

[B]

So look at how the ADHD is impacting their current life in a negative way. And drop, like, drizzle that through your website.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And then you could have a specialty page of, like, ED plus adhd.

[A]

Right now I have just adhd. Anxiety eating disorder. Yeah, it's more like front page is the thing that most people read. And I feel like it's more tailored for, like. Well, actually, you know, now that I'm learning about it, it is tailored for, like, the internalizing adhd, which is what I've learned. I am where, like, my hyperactivity was in my perfectionism and people pleasing.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Versus, like, being wild or something. So it's kind of there, actually.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. Maybe on your homepage you do talk about the internal experience of your ideal client and you put some of that in there because, I mean, they're all going to be like, yeah, perfectionism, you know, I.

[A]

Right.

[B]

You might not need to change much. I mean, it sounds like you're probably getting some of your ideal clients, right?

[A]

I am. Actually. A lot of who comes to me, especially from online, is like, a pretty good fit, actually. Amazing. Yeah. No, so I guess it's like, it is, like, probably pretty good. I think I'm still coming to understand ADHD and coming to understand that it is, like, the thing that I really want to focus on, wrapping my head around it, because I don't. I don't look like it. Like, I don't. So I think that's the thing is the people I like working with don't really look like it because the ones who look like it are so wild. I, like, don't know what to do.

[B]

With them at all, you know?

[A]

So that's why I never thought I wanted to do adhd. Cause I'm like, I don't know what to do with them, you know?

[B]

But then it's me too.

[A]

And then, oh, okay. I know what to do with me. So. Yeah, but it's more of, like, the internalizing, but still, like the seeking intensity, but in ways more, like, socially acceptable.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, my house is messier now on medication because I'm less, like, intense about everything. Like, I'm softer.

[B]

I love that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So.

[A]

But it's like, that's not supposed to happen on meds. You're Supposed to be cleaner.

[B]

Now you're going to take care of those piles, right?

[A]

No, the files were always perfect before because I'm so intense about meeting and now I'm, like, kind of soft and. Yeah. So it's. Which I didn't know. Right. So it's all kind of like something I'm learning as we go.

[B]

Yeah. So, like, if you're learning as you go, then you can just kind of like drop in a sentence here and there on your website as things occur to you as you start to see patterns in the clients that come in that feel like, great fits and like, you know, on your ADHD page, making sure that you're describing this isn't your kid's adhd. The kind of ADHD that I see in my practice, particularly when combined with eating disorders, looks like this.

[A]

Right, Right. Okay, that makes sense. I always forget I can, like, be myself and be funny.

[B]

But you're so yourself and so funny on your website already.

[A]

Okay. Okay.

[B]

Really? I mean, I remember you saying that was going to be hard for you, and then it was like, great.

[A]

Okay. Okay.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I always think I have to write, like, a school paper and then.

[B]

Yeah. Boring.

[A]

The right answer. Okay. Trying to think of, would you be able to look at my website?

[B]

I can't. Yeah, let's see.

[A]

On the same page. Because I feel like that's really the thing that I feel a little like. I don't know. Because what I see is everybody just reads the homepage and they about me, and I like my. About me. But the homepage, there's like a sense of it of like, I don't know.

[B]

Okay, let's see. I've got it pulled up. I'm going to share the screen with you real quick. All right.

[A]

I added testimonials and I found an ethical way to get them.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

Because if people write you, like, letters after they leave, they're not your current client, and then they give it. Because you can't solicit reviews as an lcsw. If someone volunteers them, then I think you can ask if you can put them on your website. So that's what I did.

[B]

Okay, interesting.

[A]

Was that legit or did I. Did I mess up?

[B]

I don't know. I haven't heard that before. I'm, you know, like, the rule follower in me is like, just be safe, whatever you do.

[A]

You know, I looked at the code of ethics for LCSW or nsw, and it's like, you can't solicit, you can't elicit reviews from current clients or Anyone? That would be a power differential. So this is like when someone graduates and they give me a card.

[B]

Right, Right.

[A]

They gave me the card. I solicited nothing.

[B]

I think that where this comes up, like, while it might be totally legit, what it does allow is the board to question you about it. So I think it just potentially opens a door for some drama that you could be like, no, like, here it is. Like, I've still got the card. Um, so just like, kind of a, like anxiety.

[A]

Okay. Should I take the. What others are saying down? Because I just put the testimonials up. Just did.

[B]

Uhhuh.

[A]

What do you think? Am I inviting trouble potentially?

[B]

I probably wouldn't do it. And here's the deal. You've been getting plenty of clients, right? So, like, you don't need them if you just put this up.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay. People say such nice things, though. I'm like, I want people to know because otherwise I'm just some weird lady. And I'm like, no. People like, okay, I'll think about it. I'll revisit it.

[B]

Yeah. So, like, I work with people who have tried to do the right thing all their lives but have gotten stuck. You're immediately talking to that person.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Okay. Right. Like, I mean, just this first headline.

[A]

Okay. I think the next part, like, the pleasure to have in class, kid. I actually always was a pleasure to have in class, but I also got in trouble for talking to my friends too much. Right.

[B]

But that also fits. Right.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Because it's not usually the aloof kid that's the pleasure to have in class.

[A]

Right, Right. It's pretty conscientious.

[B]

Yeah. So I think. I think you're nailing it here. Like, growing up, you may have been called the good kid. The pleasure of having class kid, the oldest child, the responsible one. Yeah. I mean, you are absolutely talking about this internalized ADHDer with an eating disorder. Yeah. We know this person grown up. Right.

[A]

You know that this was a thing. The internalized adhder. The like.

[B]

Yeah. This is something very new to me.

[A]

No, me too. I didn't even know this was a freaking thing.

[B]

Yeah. It's interesting because it's such a more female presentation.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I think about how boys were always diagnosed as kids because they were hyperactive, whereas the girls of my generation were not diagnosed. Now they're like, 40 and. Oh. So. Yeah. I don't think. I don't think your website needs anything, honestly. I wouldn't mess with it. I wouldn't mess with it.

[A]

Oh, wow. Okay. Yeah, I thought it was all wrong.

[B]

Look at all these hours of work I just saved you. I never did that.

[A]

I never did that. I feel like I want to put something in here, though, like that first line of like, the things that are wrong. Like something about adhd.

[B]

Yeah. Okay, so maybe, maybe something about like your perfectionism has driven almost everything you've done and it feels like it runs on a motor.

[A]

Oh, that's a nice tie in. No, that. That's a nice tie in. It's the intensity. Yeah, that's like. Yeah, yeah, it's the intensity. Because that's what I'm learning is like the through line for ADHD is like the intensity and having to have intensity. The intensity can look really different and sometimes it looks like being very clean. But it's the intensity. That's the thing. Yeah, yeah. The part at the very bottom, if you go down where I have the. About me, there's nothing about ADHD in there at all. It's very like bodies and, you know, anxiety. I'm like, I would love, like, how do I insert something in there that's a little more ADHD friendly?

[B]

So there's not self disclosure in here. So we can't be like, as a late diagnosed adhder, should I be doing that? If it feels right to you.

[A]

I know with adhd, because ADHD is so new to me with eating disorders, I'll tell anybody. But with adhd, I'm like, I don't know if I'm supposed to or not. Which eating disorder would almost feel more embarrassing and hard to talk about? It's just older, so it's easy to talk about now. Whereas this feels like.

[B]

Ah. Yeah. I mean, I guess you could say something about. Because it says here you can feel calm.

[A]

Huh?

[B]

The new tasks and distractions. Right. So like you're already slightly touching on it. But you could talk about like, basically like that drive for perfection, that need for intensity doesn't have to rule your life. You could just throw a sentence or two in there.

[A]

Okay, should I disclose that I have adhd? That's actually such a good question for you.

[B]

It's so personal.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

If it still feels like, if you still have a lot of feelings about it, I might work through the feelings you have first before disclosing. And then I always like the model that somebody taught me of knowing what you're going to disclose and why, like having it all literally written down, like writing down I have adhd and then the circumstances in which it makes sense to disclose that so that it's not just the thing that flies out of your mouth in a moment where it's not actually therapeutically beneficial for the person.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So just thinking through how it feels for you, I just think of like.

[A]

The person who helped me the most had adhd and I think if I didn't know they'd had it, I would have felt like, judged and probably like I couldn't tell them about it.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

So I almost feel like I would want them to know I have it because otherwise, I don't know. It's just such a specific life experience that I do feel like it's hard to like everything. But. Yeah. Like I. I just felt like that was such an important part of me getting help and feeling understood.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So I guess I kind of want to share it.

[B]

Yeah. Great. I mean, you don't share about the eating disorder here.

[A]

Oh, yeah, that's true. I do in the. About me. So maybe that in about me is where I would share it.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. This would be a really easy place to just drop it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Though I think. Yeah. Here's your story. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. The eating disorder, I actually kind of go into more.

[B]

And so like you could do a little like now here I am middle aged, you know.

[A]

Right, Right.

[B]

Realizing that what I thought was a drive for perfection that fed into my eating disorder so intensely.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Was not solely just the eating disorder or solely just my self worth.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It was entirely other thing too.

[A]

You know what's so interesting also is like, same way my house was really clean. Like I recovered from my eating disorder, but like my expectations for my body were so rigid, you know, and like what it had to look like and how much I ate and how much. And it never felt like the eating disorder anymore. It felt different for like the last, like, I don't know, like 10 years or so. And then it's like I got diagnosed and put on medication and then I just like don't care that much. Like, dude, that was just the adhd. This whole, like, that wasn't even really the eating disorder. That was just how I learned to channel the adhd was like the intensity about my body. So on stimulants I've gained weight and my house is messier. Like, you know what I mean? Like, everything about it is so weird to me.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. They say that's not supposed to happen. Right. But I'm like. But it does. If that's how you were channeling your need for intensity.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Yeah. Feel like I don't know what to do with that. Information in terms of, like, does anybody else have this experience? Like, weird. Me?

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. It's interesting. I definitely. I need to learn more about, like, the internalized adhd. It's fascinating to me.

[A]

Had you heard that people, like, their houses can get messier and they gain weight on stimulants? Because it's like, you relax.

[B]

Right? I mean, it makes sense.

[A]

Okay. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But you hadn't heard this before, right? Like, I'm like, was this information out there that I should have found it?

[B]

No. It reminds me a little bit of perimenopause, though, to be honest. It all.

[A]

Oh, yeah, yeah. Where I just, like. Yeah, I'm just like, I just. I just can't care about stuff. I just don't care.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

One of the.

[B]

One of the benefits of aging and being on the right meds and.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Okay. Awesome. Okay. Oh, and then I haven't been blogging that much. I've just been doing it, like, every so often, but it seems fine.

[B]

Yeah, it doesn't seem like you need to. Right.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I mean, you know, so people know I'm not, like, abandoning it, but.

[B]

Right. Yeah. But it sounds like if you need more clients, you know the levers to pull. So it's just pulling that if you want to get up to 15, 16.

[A]

Okay, yeah, that makes sense.

[B]

But instance, you just saved hours of website reworking. You can just spend those hours on pulling those letters.

[A]

Oh, that's nice. That's nice to hear that. It's, like, kind of good enough as it is.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, it's working and it's bringing in your people, you know?

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Like, you could do a little. A couple. Little sentences here and there to clarify even more and bring in those.

[A]

Tie it together more.

[B]

But yeah.

[A]

Is it weird? I did some speaking things and is it weird to ask them because they don't post it on their website. And I'm like, I want that backlink. Like, I want them to post it. Isn't that weird? Ask.

[B]

I don't think so. I mean, I think it also depends on, like, what's your. Like, what was the agreement beforehand? So if they don't know that that was a part of it, then they might be like, oh, well, we never intended to have a spot for that on our website.

[A]

Like, it's like a baby organization just starting to do, like, panel talks. So it's like, I don't think they've thought it through.

[B]

Got it.

[A]

And they're all kind of friends, so I'm like, just want to be like, you guys should. You guys got a website. Throw it on there. Like, who's been your panel speakers? You know?

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

And then I joined iadp, like, board, Bay Area Chapter, and they don't hyperlink to your website. They list you. I'm like, is it weird to be like, go ahead and throw in that backlink? I'm like, is no one else worried about SEO what's happening?

[B]

Yeah. You should definitely ask them to do that, because I was also on the IDEP board at one point, and it's just like most boards, there's just so much to do, but you don't know exactly what your job is. And then there's like. Like, whose job would it be to hyperlink? You know, like, that whole kind of thing. So I think it's worth bringing up and ask.

[A]

You think it's okay to ask people.

[B]

To do that always? Yeah. You always have the right to ask. You just don't have the right to expect.

[A]

Okay. I know the backlinks are just such a hot thing that I have these offerings for backlinks, and I'm like, I want them so bad, but I. Yeah. Feel uncomfortable asking. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Amazing. I feel so lucky I got this time with you.

[B]

I love it. I love it. I'm glad you did.

[A]

Thank you so much. Yeah, just like, kind of miscellaneous questions running through my head. I really appreciate. And I appreciate the perspective on Sundays.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. I'm excited about that. Please let me know about it.

[A]

Okay. I feel the same sense of dread I did before. I did all the other changes that now seem like no brainers and not a big deal. Yes.

[B]

So now you can just rely on, like, I know that this feels big now, but I'm like.

[A]

I know this feeling where I'm like. But I'm gonna kill them with if I make. And it's like, no, this is the right thing. So.

[B]

Yep. Amazing.

[A]

Okay. Yay. Thank you.

[B]

Absolutely. Yeah.

[A]

I love getting your letters, your updates, and I feel like I know how you are from afar. So. Yeah. Oh, and I've been reading all fours with Miranda July because you recommended it. It's craz.

[B]

It is something. Yeah. I still. I've had some conversations. Look, it's something.

[A]

You seen the Onion article about her?

[B]

No.

[A]

Okay. Can I send it to, like, Abundance? It made me, like, cry, laugh. It was so funny.

[B]

Yeah. Send it to Accountability. I'll get it.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I will. Awesome. All right.

[A]

Good to see you.

[B]

I'll talk to you later. Bye. If you're ready for a much easier practice, TherapyNotes is the way to go. Go to therapynotes.com and use the promo code abundant for two months free. If you're listening, you probably need some support building your practice. If you're a super newbie, grab our free checklist using the link in the show notes. I'd love for you to follow rate and review, but I really want you to share this episode with a therapist friend. Let's help all our colleagues build what they want.