Abundant Practice Podcast

Host: Allison Puryear
Episode: #702 – Eldest Daughter Therapy
Date: November 5, 2025

Main Theme

This episode focuses on finding and clarifying a niche in private practice, specifically centering on the "eldest daughter" experience—women who habitually take on responsibility at work and in their families, often to the detriment of their own well-being. Allison coaches guest Valentina through narrowing her target demographic, refining her marketing message, and strategizing her transition from insurance-based practice to private pay, all while balancing the realities of personal life and burnout.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Finding and Narrowing a Niche (02:06–09:37)

• Valentina’s Initial Niche: Wants to help motivated 20–30-year-olds break free from unhealthy relationship and family patterns.
• Allison’s Clarification: Urges Valentina to get more specific—“niche down”—especially about patterns and clientele.
• Defining the Ideal Client:
  • Typically female, often the oldest daughter (or took on that role).
  • Over-gives at work and home, feels unseen and unappreciated.
  • Struggles with boundaries; alternates between being overly accommodating and snapping.
  • Experiences pressure to always show up for others, even at her own expense.
• Trauma Component:
  • Many "eldest daughter types" have underlying (often unrecognized) trauma, making trauma work still central to the niche.

Notable Quote:

“All of them snap.” – Valentina (06:32)

Quote:

“The women who get things done, everyone relies on them. They put themselves last and they overgive in their families and at work until they snap.”
– Allison, summarizing the niche (06:48)

2. Fear of Over-Niching and Inclusivity (07:18–08:39)

• Valentina worries that narrowing the niche too much may exclude people.
• Allison reassures her: "When you say eldest daughter type, it kind of does that with some leeway... you’re not just speaking to eldest daughters. You’re also talking to those second or third daughters who took that role on, or the only children who were kind of all of it…” (07:54)

3. Transitioning Off Insurance Panels (09:48–16:21)

• Current Situation:
  • Valentina sees ~15 clients/week, feels underpaid and overextended.
  • Has ~$5,000 in savings and wants to gradually leave insurance.
• Strategic Advice:
  • Take a tiered approach: Drop the least lucrative/least used insurance panels first.
  • Don’t make big moves before marketing is in place and private pay clients are coming in.
• Financial Math:
  • Current average pay/session: $80 via insurance.
  • Private pay rate: $150.
  • To earn the same, Valentina could see about half as many private clients: “If you’re seeing 15 now... you can see 8 [private pay] and be where you need to be.” (15:07)
  • Market supports her rate: “$150, you’re super solid. You’re going to be totally fine with that.” (15:47)

Notable Quote:

“I love that you’re saving and continuing to throw anything you can into savings to give you that cushion... Some of your clients are going to come with you. Some of them are not. And you can’t always predict.”
– Allison (12:11)

4. Marketing the Eldest Daughter Niche (16:21–22:41)

• Website & Messaging:
  • Use images and language that reflect the ideal client, rather than specifying a strict age range.
  • Make marketing copy specific to lived experiences: overextending, feeling resentful, lack of appreciation.
• Networking:
  • Best referrals come from well-established (full) therapists working with similar populations.
  • Don’t focus too much on networking with other new therapists; established therapists have overflow to refer out. (17:13)
• Referral Sources:
  • Couples therapists (patterns of overgiving show up in couples work).
  • Physicians, OBGYNs, PCPs—clients often present with stress or exhaustion (“the exhausted woman panel”).

Notable Quote:

“Think about, like, who do these women go to when they’re like, I gotta get some help? It might be that they’re in couples therapy... Or going to their PCP or their OBGYN to talk about: I just can’t do all this."
– Allison (18:08)

• Alternative Marketing Avenues:
  • Community outreach and partnerships with local medical systems.
  • Possibility of connecting with concierge doctors and naturopaths (who serve similar demographics).
  • Social media not required—best if it fits Valentina’s personality and bandwidth, but not essential.

Quote:

“It’s one of those things you have to really like, or you get sick of it really fast."
– Allison, on social media marketing (19:42)

5. Re-energizing and Next Steps (22:08–23:02)

• Valentina feels “really energized” and inspired about her clarified niche.
• Plans to move to the next marketing module and explore outreach ideas.
• Allison encourages her to check in with updates via the community.

Memorable Exchange:

“Oh, my goodness. This is so good. This is so good. I don’t even know what else to ask you because you have got me so excited...”
– Valentina (22:10)

Notable Quotes & Moments

• “Your niche is... eldest daughter types. The women who get things done, everyone relies on them. They put themselves last, and they overgive... until they snap.” – Allison (06:43)
• “I'm like, slowly dying if I don't start moving away from it.” – Valentina, on staying with insurance (14:02)
• “You could do more [than $150], but... you’re wanting to get your bearings. I think $150 is reasonable to charge starting out.” – Allison (15:49)
• “Couples therapists are great. It might be they’re going to their PCP or OBGYN...” – Allison (18:08)
• “Doctors themselves. They’re probably oldest daughters who did what they were supposed to do.” – Valentina (22:10)

Important Timestamps

• 00:08: Podcast intro (skip ads)
• 02:06: Valentina introduces niche-finding question
• 03:59: Shaping the “eldest daughter” pattern
• 06:48: Allison summarizes the niche
• 09:48: Transitioning off insurance discussion begins
• 15:01–15:59: Financial math comparing insurance vs. private pay
• 16:21: Allison’s updated approach: gradual transition
• 17:13: Marketing and networking strategies
• 18:08: Identifying best referral sources
• 22:08: Valentina expresses motivation and excitement

Summary

This episode of the Abundant Practice Podcast is an engaging, practical session on clarifying your private practice niche and how to carve a sustainable, client-aligned, and financially rewarding path away from the insurance hamster wheel. Allison and Valentina’s discussion is warm, encouraging, full of concrete examples, memorable quotes, and honest insights—making it a must-listen (or read!) for therapists seeking to thrive while helping their ideal clients.