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Foreign. Welcome to Ask Allison. Y' all ask the questions about having a fun and thriving practice and I answer them. We have a worksheet for you today so you can bring this answer into your life. You can Access that@AbundancePracticeBuilding.com links where you'll also be able to ask any questions you have for Ask Allison. If you want more support, we've got some free trainings in there too. If you can't get enough Ask Allison, check out our YouTube channel for our entire Ask Allison library. Welcome back to Ask Allison. Here's today's question. There's a networking event coming up that seems like a great opportunity to connect with potential referral sources in my niche. I've never been to one before and I've heard they can be pretty awkward. Do you have any tips for how to approach networking in a way that feels authentic and effective? Yes, I do. Before I answer that, though, I would love to thank our sponsor, TherapyNotes. I've talked about TherapyNotes for years and know their features by heart, but what really sets them apart is that they genuinely care about your experience. It's not just about troubleshooting. They actively implement user suggested features like clinical outcome tracking, real time insurance checks, a smooth super bill process, and their AI feature, therapy fuel. Everyone at TherapyNotes believes in the product and wants you to love it too. Plus, they're independently owned, which means no venture capital and no pressure to prioritize investors over their customers. This independence allows them to keep their prices fair, to focus on innovation and prioritize customer experience. With over 100,000 therapists already on board, they've proven you don't have to compromise success for quality. If you're ready to see for yourself, try TherapyNotes free for two months with the code abundant@theapynotes.com okay, back to your question. I absolutely have some tips for networking, and I want to start by giving you a little reality check, because most of us have a wildly unrealistic picture in our heads about what a networking event should be like. There's the optimistic version we all wish for. You show up looking fantastic in your new, very professional outfit. You're full of confidence, you're ready to shine, and you glide through the room like a TED Talk meets Vogue moment, charming people with your intelligence, your empathy, your dazzling conversational skills. And everyone wants your card. Walk out with 15 referrals lined up for Monday. It's a dream. Then there's the pessimistic version. And let's be honest, this is the one most of Us actually picture you walk in. It feels like an eighth grade dance. The clicks have formed. You hover by the refreshment table, shoveling PETA and hummus in your mouth for something to do. And then, of course, you drop it on your shirt and you're sweating and someone finally approaches you and you both try to talk at the same time and it's all awkward eye contact and weird laughter and you feel like you're trying to sell therapy to people who are already therapists. You find an excuse to leave early and you beat yourself up on the drive home. So let me offer you the truth, which, as usual, lies somewhere in the middle. If you're an introvert, I want you to listen carefully. You don't have to go. You have full permission to skip these kinds of events. Your energy is valuable, and traditional networking events might not be the best use of your energy. Yes, you do need to network, but you do not need to do it in a crowded room full of strangers making small talk over cheese cubes. There are better ways to connect, and I'm going to share those in a minute. But if you're an extrovert or a socially confident introvert who's curious about attending, then yes, it might be worth it. So let's go in with a plan. First, here's what it could be like. Be strategic. Number one, not all networking events are created equal. If you love networking with people new to the area, look for events that attract realtors or real estate attorneys. If you specialize in eating disorders, find eating disorder treatments and or networking events. If you work with teens, is there a casual happy hour for local educators? The more targeted the crowd, the more valuable your time there will be. It's about quality, not quantity. Second, have a line ready. Don't wing it. Don't hope that, like, inspiration strikes. When you're standing in front of somebody, go in with a few openers in your back pocket. Nothing cheesy, just like normal, natural conversation starters. Something like, oh, hey, I think I saw your logo on a 5k shirt I got last year. Do you work with whatever the clinic name is or we have a mutual friend. How do you know Danny? Also, drop the hedging language. No, I think. Or maybe, you know, if their name tag says Jane and your shirt says Jane's Counseling center, from that 5k, just go for it. It doesn't make you cocky, it makes you look confident. And people like to be recognized. So. Third, if you're going in cold, use this line. When you don't know anyone Walk up to the first kind looking person you see and say, hi, I'm Alison. Except your name. I don't know anyone here. Can you give me the lay of the land? It's disarming. It's honest. It takes the pressure off. Most people are more than happy to help and will likely follow up with, yeah, absolutely. And what do you do if that person turns out to be a jerk? Guess what? That says everything about them and nothing about you. That's probably not someone whose referrals you want anyway, so say a polite goodbye and move on. If the second person is also awful, just leave. Seriously, you are not there to torture yourself. There is no merit badge for surviving bad vibes in a conference room. But here's what usually happens. Most people are really warm. They may not all be perfect referral sources, but they're showing up for the same reason you are. To make connections. And if you're lucky, you might meet a connector. These are the people who seem to know everyone and love making introductions. It's gold. Treat those people like the unicorns they are. Fourth, don't underestimate the wallflowers. This is my favorite strategy. It's how I've made some of my best networking connections. When I walk into a networking event, I collect the people standing against the wall. The ones on their phones. They're pretending to scroll, but they're really just avoiding small talk. They feel trapped and uneasy. I walk up, I introduce myself, and I ask about them. They're usually really smart, interesting people who just aren't great at initiating. Then, once we've got a little rapport, we collect other wallflowers. Together we become this little crew of cool, awkward, interesting people who are now just hanging out. And guess what? These are often the folks who end up being the best, most genuine referral partners. So if you're nervous, make that your job. Go collect the wallflowers. It gives you purpose and it makes you instantly more approachable. And people really like being saved from the wall. Now, if you're someone who hates the idea of all of this, whether it's the awkwardness, the energy drain, or just the sheer logistics, don't worry, there are other ways to network that might work way better for you. That might be one on one reach out, following up with people who you already sort of know, or therapists you've seen online and admire. That's where today's free worksheet comes in. It's called how to Not Hate Networking. And it walks you through eight simple steps to build authentic useful connections without forcing yourself into high pressure events. So whether you're reaching out to someone from an event you braved, or just someone you found on Psych Today who seems like a perfect referral partner, this worksheet is going to help you make that connection in a way that actually works. If you're seeing this online on social, then you can DM me the word sheets and I will send you the link to this plus access to all the others in the series. If you are listening on the podcast, you can hit the link in the Show Notes. You don't have to be perfect at networking. You don't have to work the room like a politician. You just need to be real, intentional and a little bit brief. That's more than enough. You've got this. If you're ready for a much easier practice, Therapy Notes is the way to go. Go to therapynotes.com and use the promo code abundant for two months free. I hope that helped. If you have questions for Ask Allison or you want to get your hands on the worksheet for this episode, go to abundancepracticebuilding.com Links if you're listening, you probably need some support building your practice. If you're a super newbie, grab our free checklist using the link in the Show Notes. I'd love for you to follow, rate and review, but I really want you to share this episode with a therapist friend. Let's help all our colleagues build what they want.