Abundant Practice Podcast – Episode #713: How To Make Networking More Comfortable

Host: Allison Puryear
Date: December 13, 2025

Episode Overview

In this episode, Allison Puryear answers a listener question about making networking events more comfortable and effective—especially for therapists looking to build or boost their private practice. Allison discusses common misconceptions about networking, addresses anxiety around such events, and offers concrete, authentic strategies for making meaningful connections—whether at big events or through alternative approaches. She shares practical tips, memorable anecdotes, and her own favorite techniques—all with candor and humor.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Common Networking Event Anxiety

• Allison opens by recounting the dramatically different expectations most people have before attending a networking event:
  • The "optimistic version": Feeling brilliant, confidently working the room, collecting a pile of business cards and referrals.
  • The "pessimistic version": Feeling awkward, isolated, hovering by refreshments, and ultimately leaving early, feeling embarrassed.

Quote:
"There's the optimistic version we all wish for. ... Then there's the pessimistic version. And let's be honest, this is the one most of us actually picture: you walk in, it feels like an eighth grade dance..." (04:08)

2. Permission to Opt Out

• Allison stresses that networking isn't mandatory in the traditional sense, particularly for introverts who dread crowded events:
  • You can grow your practice through other modes of connection.
  • Quality trumps quantity in networking.
• For those who feel comfortable or want to try, go in with a plan and be intentional.

Quote:
"If you're an introvert, I want you to listen carefully. You don't have to go. You have full permission to skip these kinds of events. Your energy is valuable, and traditional networking events might not be the best use of your energy." (06:37)

3. Targeted, Strategic Networking

• Not all events are equal; focus on gatherings relevant to your specialties (e.g., educators, realtors, specific treatment niches).
• Seek out events where you're most likely to meet valuable contacts, rather than trying to attend every general mixer.

Quote:
"The more targeted the crowd, the more valuable your time there will be. It's about quality, not quantity." (08:14)

4. Prepare Openers and Be Direct

• Don’t "wing it"; have a few natural, genuine conversation starters ready.
• Avoid hedging language—be confident and straightforward.
  • Examples: Referencing mutual acquaintances, noticing logos or business names, asking about their work.
• Recognizing someone or their organization is often well-received.

Quote:
"Go in with a few openers in your back pocket. Nothing cheesy, just like normal, natural conversation starters." (09:40)

5. Breaking the Ice When You Know No One

• If you're a newcomer, approach someone approachable and honestly admit you’re new:
  • “Hi, I’m [Your Name]. I don’t know anyone here. Can you give me the lay of the land?”
• Most people are willing to help, and this vulnerability can spark real connection.
• If someone snubs you, that says more about them than you.

Quote:
"When you don't know anyone, walk up to the first kind looking person you see and say, Hi, I'm Allison—except your name! I don't know anyone here. Can you give me the lay of the land? It's disarming. It's honest. It takes the pressure off." (10:45)

6. "Collect the Wallflowers" Technique

• Look for others who seem uncomfortable or alone—they're often the most interesting and genuine future referral sources.
• Building a small, authentic group at the edge of the room can be both comforting and effective.
• "Saving" wallflowers sometimes leads to lasting, valuable relationships.

Quote:
"When I walk into a networking event, I collect the people standing against the wall...They're usually really smart, interesting people who just aren't great at initiating. ... Together we become this little crew of cool, awkward, interesting people..." (13:12)

7. Alternatives to Traditional Networking

• You can network via:
  • One-on-one reach outs.
  • Following up with acquaintances or therapists you admire online.
• Allison references a free worksheet, “How to Not Hate Networking”, with eight steps to build authentic, low-pressure connections.

Quote:
"There are other ways to network that might work way better for you. That might be one on one reach out, following up with people you already sort of know, or therapists you've seen online and admire." (15:33)

Memorable Quotes & Moments

• On imperfect networking:
  "You don't have to be perfect at networking. You don't have to work the room like a politician. You just need to be real, intentional and a little bit brief. That's more than enough. You've got this." (17:44)

• On self-compassion and boundaries:
  "Seriously, you are not there to torture yourself. There is no merit badge for surviving bad vibes in a conference room." (12:30)

Timestamps & Segments

• 00:49 – Listener Question: "Do you have any tips for how to approach networking in a way that feels authentic and effective?"
• 04:08 – The two extremes of networking expectations.
• 06:37 – Permission to skip traditional networking for introverts.
• 08:14 – Strategic event selection for relevance and value.
• 09:40 – Preparing openers and confidence tips.
• 10:45 – “Lay of the land” approach to break the ice.
• 12:30 – Dealing with negative reactions; choosing self-care.
• 13:12 – "Collect the wallflowers" for genuine connections.
• 15:33 – Alternatives: one-on-one and online networking.
• 17:44 – Encouragement and worksheet resource.

Resources Mentioned

• Worksheet: “How to Not Hate Networking” (access via Show Notes or email/DM)
• Website: www.abundancepracticebuilding.com
• Ask Allison question submission and free resources: See website above.

Overall Tone & Takeaways

Allison’s delivery is warm, humorous, and pragmatic, encouraging therapists to network in ways that feel comfortable for them—whether that means working the room or simply sending a thoughtful email. The episode demystifies networking by breaking down unrealistic expectations and providing actionable, empathetic strategies for authentic professional growth.

Recommended for: Therapists and private practitioners at all career stages who want to connect with colleagues and referral sources—without the stress, pressure, or awkwardness often associated with traditional networking events.