Episode #742: Success Without Sacrificing Everything

Summary

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Abundant Practice Podcast: Episode #742

Title: Success Without Sacrificing Everything
Host: Allison Puryear
Guest: Rebecca Smith (Limitless Practice grad, Team Abundance member)
Date: March 21, 2026

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Overview & Main Theme

This episode addresses a question many therapists in private practice face: how to run a successful, thriving practice without sacrificing time, relationships, and personal well-being. Host Allison Puryear and guest Rebecca Smith discuss practical and mindset shifts necessary for redefining success in ways that enhance—not overwhelm—your personal life.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Recognizing the Imbalance (00:00–02:11)

• Listener's Core Question:
  "How do I redesign my practice so that it supports my life instead of taking it over?"
• Context provided that the therapist has steady clients and income but feels “out of balance”—not burnt out, but lacking in time for themselves and loved ones.

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2. Nearing Burnout: The Warning Signs (02:11–03:32)

• Rebecca’s Insight:
  "Therapist sounds... She's like so close to burnout." (02:14, B)
• Allison notes therapists often fail to recognize burnout or deny its presence until it’s serious:
  "There's also that crispy at the very least, right? There's some crispiness. And I think most of us have been there." (02:18, A)

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3. Mindset vs. Practical Challenges (03:32–04:56)

• Two Types of Problems Identified:
  • Practical: Taking on too many clients or lacking control over scheduling.
  • Mindset: Lacking confidence and struggling to set boundaries.
• Rebecca:
  "It's either there's too many clients, or they're having a really hard time being the director of their schedule." (03:06, B)
• Allison:
  "The confidence to set the boundaries... When I think about enough time for my family, that usually in my mind goes to kids, because they take a lot of time. If you're doing it right, I guess they take a lot of time." (03:32, A)

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4. The “Looking Good, Feeling Bad” Phenomenon (04:56–05:15)

• “Externally, this reminds me of so many people's clinical niche of, like, I work with women who have it all together on the outside and are falling apart on the inside.” (04:56, A)
• Important to recognize when external success doesn’t translate into internal satisfaction or sustainability.

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5. Self-Responsibility in Private Practice (05:15–06:56)

• Rebecca:
  "When you don't have a boss to blame for how you feel, it feels really hard to say sometimes that I am the boss that's making my life miserable. Right." (04:56, B)
• The need to own your schedule and boundaries as the leader of your own business.

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6. Re-evaluating Assumptions About Client Needs (06:56–08:20)

• Allison challenges common scheduling beliefs:
  "If you want to work school day hours or even, like, I work with kids, I have to work evenings. Not true. There is a growing number of homeschool parents out there..." (05:24, A)
• Rebecca underscores the dangers of projecting therapists' needs/stories onto their clients: "Your clients and you are not the same people. ... Setting it how it works for you kind of allows space for the people who can be flexible to come in." (06:05, B)

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7. Social Circles and Limiting Beliefs (08:20–09:44)

• Allison discusses the collective lowering of expectations within therapist peer groups, especially when coming from agency or insurance environments: "You’re all kind of in this soup of this is normal together and nobody's popping out. I'd love for this person to be the one in their group to pop out and show their friends what’s possible.” (06:56, A)
• Encourages listeners to challenge assumptions and be the example of abundance.

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8. Constructing Your Ideal Schedule (09:44–10:43)

• Rebecca’s Golden Strategy:
  "If I won the lottery and I still did want to work... what would my schedule look like? ... I just blocked off. I was like, no new patients at 9am, and I have been so happy because of that." (08:43, B)
• Allison adds,
  "In my Mastermind program...what would your schedule look like if you were a billionaire?... we all realize, oh, like, I can have this schedule now." (09:30, A)

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9. Community & Support (10:15–10:43)

• Rebecca credits her cohort for transformative support:
  "Limitless really did for me, was give me a cohort of people who were thinking outside of the box about this type of stuff..." (10:15, B)
• Encouragement to seek out communities pushing past the norm.

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10. Action Items and Resources (10:43–end)

• Allison plugs the free worksheet "Your Private Practice Life" as a tool for listeners to clarify their needs and boundaries.
• Key Message: It’s possible to redesign your practice for success AND well-being—start by interrogating your assumptions and drawing boundaries that serve your life, not just your business.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On projecting onto clients:
  "Your clients and you are not the same people... Setting it how it works for you kind of allows space for the people who can be flexible to come in."
  — Rebecca Smith (06:05)

• On scheduling boundaries:
  "You could just not take any clients at night." — Allison Puryear (09:44)

• On ownership:
  "When you don’t have a boss to blame for how you feel, it feels really hard to say sometimes that I am the boss that's making my life miserable." — Rebecca Smith (04:56)

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Important Timestamps

• 00:00 — Episode and question stated
• 02:14 — Assessing burnout and its signals
• 03:06 — Identifying practical vs. mindset issues
• 05:24 — Rethinking client scheduling needs
• 06:05 — Projecting therapist beliefs onto clients
• 08:43 — Crafting your dream schedule
• 09:30 — Realizing you can choose your ideal schedule now
• 10:15 — Value of cohort/community support

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Final Takeaways

• You’re in control: The only “boss” dictating your schedule is you—take ownership and responsibility for making it work for your life.
• Challenge assumptions: Most things you “have” to do are stories you’re carrying; test those stories against reality.
• Boundaries create abundance: Saying 'no' to what doesn’t serve you opens space for what (and who) will.
• Community matters: Find peer groups or support systems that lift you above the status quo and fuel growth.

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Transcript

[A]

Foreign. Welcome to Ask Abundance. Y' all ask the questions about having a fun and thriving practice. We answer them. We have a worksheet for you today so you can bring this answer into your life. If you want support in your practice, we have you covered with on demand or one on one support. Links for the worksheet and support are in the show. Notes can't get enough Ask Abundance. Check out our YouTube channel for the entire library. Welcome back to Ask Abundance. Today I'm joined by Rebecca Smith. Rebecca is a limitless practice grad who came aboard Team Abundance. She has a premium fee private pay practice in New Orleans and is really great at helping abundance therapists imagine what's possible for them. So let's talk about today's question. I feel conflicted because my practice is doing what it's supposed to do. Clients are coming in, the money is steady and it looks successful from the outside. But my life feels out of balance. Like my schedule is built around my work first and everything else gets whatever scraps are left. I don't feel burned out exactly. I just don't have enough time for my family, my friendships, or even basic breathing room. How do I redesign my practice so that it supports my life instead of taking it over? So good. Before we get into it, I want to thank Therapy Notes. They are our sponsor for Ask Abundance. I've talked about them for years. Y' all probably know their features by heart, but what really sets them apart is that they genuinely care about your experience. It's not just about about troubleshooting. They actively implement user suggested features like Therapy search, secure Messaging, and their AI notes feature. Therapy fuel. Everyone at TherapyNotes believes in the product and wants you to love it too. Plus, they're independently owned, which means no venture capital and no pressure to prioritize investors over customers. This independence allows them to keep prices fair, to focus on innovation, and to prioritize customer experience. With over 100,000 therapists already on board, they've proven that you don't have to compromise success for quality. If you're ready to see for yourself, try TherapyNotes free for two months with the code abundant therapynotes.com all right, Rebecca, thanks for being here.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

Yeah, do it.

[B]

This one is tough.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Therapist sounds. She's like so close to burnout.

[A]

Yeah, I know. It's like not there. Or maybe she's in denial about being there. There's also that crispy at the very least, right? There's some crispiness. And I think most of us have been there.

[B]

Right?

[A]

Like, this is not unusual for people in private practice or working in agency work. So let's talk some about the not having time for friends and family, for breathing room. Like these things that we desperately need in our lives to make this work make sense for us.

[B]

Absolutely. It kind of feels like there's both a mindset sticking point here and probably a practical one, too. On the practical side, I think this person's seeing too many patients.

[A]

Yeah, probably so.

[B]

I think they just are. Or it's either there's too many clients or they're having a really hard time being the director of their schedule. And so if somebody says, oh, can I do this? Or can we switch to this? Or can I see you at 8pm they're kind of like, yeah. And then the mindset piece is that confidence to say nope. The confidence to set the boundaries. Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

I mean, you and I are both moms, so we. We get that there have to be boundaries in place around work to be able to be the mom that you want to be. And I don't know, this is. This person is a mom or a dad or a parent or what. But when I think about enough time for my family, that usually in my mind goes to kids because they take a lot of time. If you're doing it right, I guess they take a lot of time. Yeah. Okay. So the money is steady. That feels good. So this person isn't like, I'm, you know, working myself to the bone to try to make money. It sounds like they've got good client flow. They've got money coming in. All the boxes are checks. Externally, this reminds me of so many people's clinical niche of, like, I work with women who have it all together on the outside and are falling apart on the inside. Right.

[B]

So I feel like there's, like, an edge here. It's like it feels like they've just met. Like, it's. There's just enough. There's. There isn't abundance. Right. It doesn't feel like I have so many that I can say, no, I have so many that I can set boundaries. It's like if I just keep sprinting, it will be fine.

[A]

Which is almost never true. Yeah. So many therapists tell us this, but then when they make whatever change they're scared to make, all of a sudden, like, it's not like the client flow stops.

[B]

Well, when you don't have a boss to blame for how you feel, it feels really hard to say sometimes that I am the boss that's making my life miserable. Right.

[A]

Right.

[B]

I built this. It's great. Isn't she so pretty? But, like, I can't is a common theme.

[A]

Absolutely.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So this, like, I'm not burned out yet. I'm hearing a big yet here.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So, okay, you mentioned this could be this person not directing their time appropriately. Right. So taking on clients at times, they don't actually want to work. So with this person, that's one thing I would really assess. And if they are like, so many of our clients of, like, well, I work with couples, so I have to work in the evenings. Not true. So many of your couples will make it work during the school day. If you want to work school day hours or even, like, I work with kids, I have to work evenings. Not true. There is a growing number of homeschool parents out there that are all groups of people. So if you have been pigeonholing them, they're not who you think they are. And that's a great group.

[B]

Yeah. Along with that, imagining being really rigid and imagining what your clients need is not usually helping you. Right. So if you say, well, I can't set that fee. I couldn't afford that fee. I couldn't work at that time. I couldn't. I would have to work at this time because if it was me, I would need to schedule at this time. Your clients and you are not the same people. And so just imagining, it's not about understanding the client's needs in that way. Yeah, Understand their OCD or their depression, but don't. But don't dictate their schedule because you only need what, 20. And those 20 people are out there, and they might look different. They might be in a different, like, schedule configuration than you imagine. And so setting it how it works for you kind of allows space for the people who can be flexible to come in.

[A]

Yes, absolutely. And that's a really interesting thing is, like, so often we do project our own, like, financial stuff onto our clients. And it's like, well, of course you can't pay that much for therapy. It's because you're charging what you're charging. And, you know, it's easy to project based on not just ourselves, but also our social groups. And so if you worked at an agency and you're friends with your friends who used to work at the agency with you who also started their own private practices, but everybody's taking insurance or everybody's setting a fee that's okay, but not really allowing you to put away for retirement or make times for vacations or those kinds of things, then you're all kind of in this soup of this is normal together and nobody's popping out. I'd love for this person to be the one in their group to pop out and show their friends what's possible. So I would. I think first step would be, like, look at what you believe is necessary to keep your practice running in this way where you continue to get clients in the door and challenge that. Challenge all your assumptions around that. I would set a very clear schedule. I hear this from people who are like, you know, they're not doing a terrible job at boundaries with their schedule. It's just they're like, well, I have to work, you know, two or three evenings a week. Which seems really reasonable.

[B]

Right?

[A]

Like, that doesn't seem unreasonable. But it's not reasonable if you really value having dinner with your family every night or you want to be the one to pick your kid up from school. Because those conversations in the car, even if it's just 10 minutes, those end up being some of the most revealing conversations I have with my tween. For sure it's just the car ride home. It's not when I'm staring at her at the dinner table being like, tell me about your day.

[B]

You know, nothing happened, Mom. Yeah. One of the questions that I asked myself when I was making my schedule is if I won the lottery and I still did want to work because I. I didn't want to be bored, you know, what would my schedule look like? And I realized that one of the things I wanted was I wanted to be able to, like, go for a run in the morning. I wanted to really start off my day slow and do more clinical work in the afternoon. And then I looked at my schedule, and I was like, I only have one day where that's not the case. So I just blocked off. I was like, no new patients at 9am and I have been so happy because of that. And so your schedule, whatever you want your schedule to be, can be allowed and then set boundaries around that. Yeah.

[A]

In my Mastermind program I'm part of. There is this thing of, like, what would your schedule look like if you were a billionaire? And it was just like, what you're talking about. And then, of course, we all realize, oh, like, I can have this schedule now. You know, you could just do that.

[B]

You could just not take any clients at night.

[A]

It. Yeah, absolutely.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Amazing. Okay. So hopefully this gave this person some insights. And the people listening who are like, this is me. So if this is you, if you've got a full practice, you need to make changes. You're feeling concerned about it, like you're not sure if it's safe to, then I'd love for you to check out Limitless Practice. I don't know when this airs, if it's going to be open or if we're on a wait list, but we'll put the link and you can discover that for yourself.

[B]

And also, if you feel like I am only talking to people who are in my same rut, I that was what Limitless really did for me, was give me a cohort of people who were thinking outside of the box about this type of stuff and that was out. You were super helpful. Thank you. But also my my cohort was amazing and they still are for me. And figuring out how to get that support and see other people's practices is so invaluable.

[A]

Absolutely. And we do have a free worksheet for everybody today. It is your private practice life, so it helps you kind of think through some of these things. If you're listening on the podcast, you'll see the link in the Show Notes, and if you're watching this on Social, the link will be there in the caption. All right, thanks so much, Rebecca. Thank you. If you're ready for a much easier practice, Therapy Notes is the way to go. Go to therapynotes.com and use the promo code abundant for two months free. I hope that helped. Please get in touch with any of your questions for Ask Abundance. If you're listening, you probably need some support building your practice. If you're a super newbie, grab our free checklist using the link in the Show Notes. I'd love for you to follow rate and review, but I really want you to share this episode with a therapist friend. Let's help all our colleagues build what they want.