Achieve Your Goals with Hal Elrod — Episode 572

How Changing Your Choices Changes Your Life with Kim DeYoung
Date: February 5, 2025

Episode Overview

In this empowering episode, Hal Elrod welcomes Kim DeYoung—author, coach, and creator of the "Book of Choice"—to dive deep on the transformative power of intentional choices. Together, they explore how the everyday decisions we make can shape our lives, the obstacles that keep us indecisive, and the frameworks that can help anyone step boldly into a life led by clarity and intention. Kim unpacks her “choice mapping” process and offers practical advice for people struggling with tough decisions, all drawing from her book and years of coaching experience.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Core Message of "The Book of Choice"

• Purpose: To help readers become more thoughtful and conscious about the choices they make.
• Process: Kim teaches people to become their own coach, guiding themselves through complex decisions with confidence.

  “It will help them to be more thoughtful and conscious about the choices they make. I teach a process at a deeper level that teaches them to become their own coach, become their own guide.” — Kim (05:11)

2. Distinction Between Choice, Intention, and Discipline

• Hal’s Question: How do we bridge the gap between making a choice and actually following through?
• Kim’s Insight: The initial choice embodies what matters; discipline and daily follow-through are the actions that sustain that choice.
• Importance of “Why”: Knowing the deeper reason behind a choice fuels long-term action.

  “If you've embodied this thought... Now the reality is there are actions to take... Why does that matter to me? Why do I care?” — Kim (07:28)

3. Living an Examined (Intentional) Life

• Kim’s Philosophy: An examined life is one that is conscious and intentional, where you take control rather than letting life happen to you.
• Adapting Language: Use language that resonates with you—examined, intentional, thoughtful—to reinforce the concept.

  “Imagine if you are not bringing intentionality into your choices and life is just happening to you, who wants to live that life?” — Kim (08:49)

4. Types of Choices We Make

Kim categorizes choices into three “buckets”:

1. Simple Choices: Daily, low-stakes (e.g., what to eat, what to wear).
2. Momentary Choices: In-the-moment, binary (e.g., work on a project or spend time with someone).
3. Proactive Choices: Major life decisions (e.g., switching careers, ending relationships) that shape our life’s direction.

“The key is knowing the choices that you are putting your energy into and are you really embodying that choice?” — Kim (12:14)

5. The Choice Mapping Process (13:30)

• What Is It? A visual, creative process to examine the details and motivations behind a decision—going beyond standard pro/con lists.
• Questions Explored:
  • Why does this choice matter?
  • What fears or obstacles are present?
  • What becomes possible if you choose this path?
  • What actions will you take?
• Living Document: The map can be revisited and updated as life changes.

  “It’s a creative visual tool that helps you to look at the details of a choice... [It] becomes this living, breathing document that truly captures your truth for where you are in a moment.” — Kim (13:30, 14:35)

6. Origins of Kim’s Work with Choices (15:44)

• Personal Journey: Coaching led Kim to an “aha” about choice shaping life. Mapping out one impactful choice revealed the cascading opportunities that followed.
• Process Emerged Organically: Dozens of conversations with clients about choices, leading to her unique vantage point and method.

7. Common Obstacles to Making Intentional Choices (19:23)

• The ‘Indecisive Identity’: The belief “I’m indecisive” is the most common barrier.

• Rewriting the Story: Use affirmations and conscious self-talk to adopt a decisive identity.

  “Is there an opportunity for you to change that label... to wake up tomorrow and say, I make decisions easily?” — Kim (20:00)

• Practical Tools: The choice mapping process helps people self-coach through limiting beliefs and analysis paralysis.

8. Affirmations & Self-Talk for Decision-Making (20:39)

• Adjusting Language: Soften affirmations (“I’m in the process of becoming decisive”) to make them believable and actionable.

  “It might be a little bit abrupt to wake up and say, I am a decisive human being... It can also be softened: I am in the process of believing I am a decisive human being.” — Kim (21:56)

9. Steps for Navigating Difficult Choices (23:35, 26:59)

Kim’s recommended process:

1. Clarify Your Choice: Use an “I choose” or “I choose to explore” statement.
2. Explore Why It Matters: List several reasons, then dig deeper into each.
3. Identify Obstacles: What fears, limiting beliefs, or practical obstacles may arise?
4. Imagine New Possibilities: What becomes possible if you take this path?
5. Define Immediate Actions: What can you do next to create momentum?

• Liberation Through Perspective: Often, merely changing your viewpoint brings clarity and forward movement.

  “Nothing logistically changed, my perspective just shifted, new possibilities became evident to me that I was blind to before.” — Hal (25:24)

10. Real-Time Example: Hal’s Book Dilemma (27:33)

• Hal debates writing a new self-help book vs. a memoir.
• Kim guides him through her steps live, showing how clarifying values and exploring consequences can make the best choice clearer.

  “For you, you are the perfect example to say I choose to explore which type of book I want to write.” — Kim (28:21)

11. Resources & Where to Learn More

• The Book: “The Book of Choice” by Kim DeYoung (available wherever books are sold)
• Website: kimdeyoung.com
  • Includes a quiz on decision-making styles (e.g., “Are you the rhino who charges forth? The ostrich who puts your head in the sand?”)
• Social Links: Find via her website

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “The choice is the bigger picture embodiment of what matters to you. Now with that you must take action... that's kind of where the discipline comes in.” — Kim (06:24)
• “Affirmations is one of my expertise that I teach all the time. And then I'm realizing I'm affirming still that I'm... not decisive.” — Hal (20:39)
• “I am in the process of believing I am a decisive human being. That might be something that you can internalize a little bit more realistically and therefore embody it and move forward with it.” — Kim (21:56)
• “Momentum works in your favor. You do your part, and then the synchronicities and nuances of life begin to happen. They always do.” — Kim (25:23)
• “We all make choices. None of us are immune to them. And how could I take what I had learned both from the exploration for myself and of others, and craft it into something that would be valuable for others.” — Kim (17:18)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 03:47 — Introduction of Kim DeYoung and her background
• 05:11 — Overview of “The Book of Choice”
• 06:24 — The relationship between choice, intention, and discipline
• 08:49 — Living an examined (intentional) life
• 10:21 — Three buckets of choices: simple, momentary, proactive
• 13:30 — The choice mapping process explained
• 15:44 — Kim’s journey into teaching about choices
• 19:23 — Common obstacles: labeling oneself as indecisive
• 20:39 — The importance of self-talk and affirmations
• 23:35 — Step-by-step guide for making difficult choices
• 27:33 — Real-time example: Hal’s book writing decision
• 31:38 — Where to learn more; Kim’s website and resources

Final Takeaway

This episode is a blueprint for anyone feeling stuck, indecisive, or simply wanting to bring more intention and agency to their lives. With Kim DeYoung’s clear frameworks, actionable advice, and her affirming, encouraging tone, listeners are equipped to embrace choice as a creative force—unlocking meaningful change, one decision at a time.

For more from Kim DeYoung, visit kimdeyoung.com and check out “The Book of Choice.”