Achieve Your Goals with Hal Elrod

Episode 619: The 3 Ego Beliefs That Quietly Run Your Life with Aaron Abke

Date: January 7, 2026
Guest: Aaron Abke, Spiritual Teacher, Author, and Theologian

Episode Overview

In this thought-provoking episode, Hal Elrod sits down with spiritual teacher and author Aaron Abke to explore the central themes of Abke’s new book, The Three Beliefs of Ego: A Sufferer's Guide to Freedom. The conversation dives deep into the nature of ego, how it perpetuates suffering, and how understanding its core beliefs can unlock genuine inner freedom. With Hal’s curiosity and Aaron’s theological background, the discussion also traverses the intersection of spirituality and organized religion, personal awakening, and practical paths to liberation from suffering.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Defining Ego and Why It Matters

[03:21]

• Aaron on Ego: “The ego is not your sense of self. The ego is your false sense of self, which is why it can be transcended.”
• Emphasizes ego as an activity or mental process, not a fixed thing. Ego is the mind’s act of identifying with form—“not a noun, but a verb.”

Why it’s problematic:

• [05:02] Ego creates suffering by making us believe we’re separate, lacking, and need external fulfillment.

2. The Three Core Ego Beliefs

[05:17-07:57]

1. Belief in Lack: (“I am not enough. I am lacking.”)
   • Drives relentless seeking of external validation or achievement.
2. Belief in Outcome-Based Happiness:
   • “I’ll be happy when…” or “Outcome happiness” as opposed to “no reason happiness”—happiness without cause.
3. Belief in Control:
   • The idea that “I am the doer,” which ignores our interconnectedness and true limits of free will.

Notable Exchange:

• Hal: “So the third belief being control... I teach that extraordinary effort is needed—how do you reconcile that?”
• Aaron [09:09]: “There’s a deeply embedded belief that I am truly an isolated actor in the universe. But I am being lived. There’s a greater power flowing through me.”
• Aaron distinguishes between practical effort and the spiritual realization that our agency is nested within a greater cooperation with life.

3. Challenging Doership & Divine Timing

[11:33-16:00]

• Analogy: The last domino thinks it knocked over the line, ignoring the chain reaction before it.
• Hal shares his own story: Trying for years to reach a goal (1 million book sales), realizing only in retrospect how each external factor and relationship contributed.
  • Hal [14:58]: "But I had faith in something greater... you can only connect the dots looking backward."

Aaron:

• Life happens in 'God's timing,' which may differ from our egos' plans.
• “You were God’s chess piece being moved around the board.”
• Realizing our cooperation with life reduces suffering and frustration when outcomes don't match expectations.

4. Deconstructing Religion and Christ’s Teachings

[18:43-41:44]

Aaron’s Background

• Pastor’s son, bachelor's in theology and music, master’s in biblical studies.
• Deconversion story: left institutional religion, but deepened spiritual journey.

Critique of Paul’s Influence

• Paul’s writings are shaped by Greco-Roman thought; contain contradictions to Jesus’s reported teachings.
• Raises skepticism about literal interpretations and authenticity of various Biblical texts.
• Calls to “distinguish the teachings of Christ from the dogmas of Christianity.”

The Nature of Salvation and the Inner Kingdom

• [35:14] Hal: “The kingdom of God is within you.”
• [36:00] Aaron: “You’re spot on, brother. The word ‘believe’ in the Greek means to trust in, to obey—not just mental belief.”

The “I Am” Teachings

• Jesus’s “I am the way, the truth and the life” is about recognizing the divinity within, not enforcing exclusivity or dogma.
• “You always know yourself as the first person in the present moment… You are always the ‘I am.’”

Notable Quote [43:12]:

“The ego tries to rob our I am nature and attach it to forms... but the truth is you’re just the I am. Everything else was added to you later.”
— Aaron Abke

5. Suffering vs. Freedom – The Path to Peace

[48:11-51:56]

• Aaron’s Awakening: Two weeks of profound inner peace after listening to Eckhart Tolle, then the return of ego.
• Realizing freedom from suffering is possible, but requires investigation and surrender.
• Aaron: “Suffering... is the mind’s resistance to pain and challenge, not the pain itself. Pain is inevitable—suffering is optional.”

The Sufferer’s Guide to Freedom

• Freedom defined: Peace that persists through challenges, stemming from surrender and trust.
• “When we get to a place of full surrender, we can’t suffer anymore because we can’t resist anymore.”

6. Unity and Oneness – Beyond Division

[46:52-47:19]

• Hal and Aaron discuss how ego-driven constructs create division—unity is the natural result of spiritual realization.
• “We all have far more in common as human-slash-spiritual beings than we will ever have different… All the differences that divide us are constructs of the ego.”
  — Hal Elrod

Notable Quotes & Moments

• [03:21] Aaron: “The ego is a verb—an activity of identifying with form—not something to be killed or befriended.”
• [11:04] Aaron: “You’re in this maze of human existence... you have free will within that maze, but not the freedom to leave the maze.”
• [31:40] Aaron: “No Greek scholar would say ‘believe’ means to mentally believe... it means to trust, obey, to give your whole being over.”
• [48:54] Hal: “Once you’ve been liberated, then you really realize how it was.”
• [51:26] Aaron: “The ego is the mind’s war against reality.”

Timestamps for Important Segments

• [03:21] – Redefining ego & why it matters
• [05:17] – The three beliefs of ego
• [09:09] – Effort, doership, free will, and spiritual practice
• [14:58] – Trusting in divine timing; Hal’s book journey
• [18:43] – How ego shapes religion & religious dogma
• [27:07] – Leaving Christianity but following Christ
• [31:40] – Greek meaning of “belief” in Jesus’s teachings
• [43:12] – “I am” consciousness vs. ego identity
• [46:52] – Unity and division: overcoming egoic separation
• [48:11] – Aaron’s spiritual awakening & the reality of freedom from suffering
• [51:26] – Freedom as surrender to what is; ending the mind’s resistance

Where to Find Aaron Abke

• YouTube & Social Media: @AaronAbke
• Website: aaronabke.com
• 4D University online academy for conscious expansion

Closing Reflections

This episode masterfully bridges deep spiritual philosophy with practical guidance, inviting listeners to question the inherited beliefs of ego and religion, and to step into a more unified, peaceful way of being. Through Aaron’s scholarship and Hal’s openness, the message is clear: suffering is optional, and freedom is found in surrender, self-inquiry, and unity with all life.