Loading summary
Transcript1,084 lines
- [00:01]
Adam Carolla
You're listening to this podcast, so I know you've got a curious mind. Here's a helpful fact you might not know yet. Drivers who switch and save with Progressive save over $900 on average. Pop over to progressive.com, answer some questions and you'll get a quick quote with discounts that are easy to come by. In fact, 99% of their auto customers earn at least one discount. Visit progressive.com and see if you can enjoy a little cash back. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates national average 12 month savings of $946 by new customers surveyed who saved with Progressive between June 2024 and May 2025. Potential savings will vary.
- [00:40]
Bald Brian
This message is brought to you by Apple Card For a limited time, when you get a new Apple card and purchase AirPods Pro 3 at Apple, you can earn back the cost up to $250 daily cash new AirPods Pro and
- [00:54]
Adam Carolla
up to $250 bonus daily cash back now. Music to my ears.
- [00:59]
Bald Brian
Subject to credit approval limitations and spend requirements apply. Apple Card is issued by Goldman Sachs bank usa, Salt Lake City Branch Terms and more at Apple Co AirPods.
- [01:26]
Adam Carolla
Welcome to Cruel Classics. I'm your host superfan Giovanni. This is the podcast we play the best moments, highlights and fan selected clips from all 17 years of the Adam Carolla Show. If you'd like to access the ad Free archives, the Adam Carolla show as well as the archives, the Adam Dr. Drew show and the new podcast Beat it out, make sure to check out Adam Corolla substack adamcorl.substack.com and if you'd like to request a clip Please email us classicsamcorla.com we can only play material from all 17 years of the Adam Carolla show podcast. We cannot play any of the material that aired from 2006 to 2009 on KLSX, nor can we play anything from Loveline. If you have any questions or want more information about those shows, I remastered them as well, please check out my patreon patreon.com Giovanni alright, let's get to the clips. Coming first we have Adam Krullishow365. There is a guest on this episode. It's competing food trucks from the local area. I don't even know if they're even operating anymore. I think they're friends of Mike August. It's mostly about Adam, Teresa and Brian with some fun news clips. Hope you guys enjoy. Podcasting isn't just about talking, it's about growing, engaging and monetizing and that's where Podcast One Pro comes in. Whether you're an independent creator or a major brand, Podcast One Pro gives you the tools you need to take your podcast to the next level. We're talking about premium hosting and advanced analytics, dynamic ad integration and expert distribution. All designed to maximize your reach and revenue. Plus, with access to Podcast One's industry leading network, you'll be connected to top tier advertisers and a massive audience. It's time to go pro and turn your passion into profit. Visit podcastonepro.com to get started today. Podcast One Pro. The Power behind the Podcast at first I didn't think it was real. I woke up to this blinding light and I was transported to another place. Pluto tv. Then I heard a voice. Come with me if you want to live. There were thousands of movies and shows and they were all free. The truth is that it's just so Beautiful on Pluto TV. Free streaming of Terminator 2, Fringe, Arrow, the 100, and the X Files may cause excitement, loss of sleep, and sudden belief in extraterrestrials. No credit cards or alien encounters necessary. Pluto TV stream now. Pay Never. It's the Adam Carolla Show. Adam's guest today, Louis CK Plus, Teresa reads the news. Bald Brian plays the sound effects, and Angie makes Adam angry. When we bring back will Angie eat it? And now, the man who puts the smart in smartphone, Adam Coroll Corolla. Yeah, get it on. Got to get it on. No choice but to get it on Mandate. Get it on. Speaking of mandate, I'm a man. Great. One of our longest running sponsors. Thanks to you guys. 2, 000 plus units sold to date. Nice item. 100American, made of G3000 cast iron. I don't know what that means, but I know if they advertise it, it must be a good thing. Same grade used in engine blocks. Well, that I get turns your backyard barbecue into a grilling experience. It's just like a steakhouse. Big old chunk of iron. You season it up, you oil it up, you put it on that grill. Instead of cooking something on a coat hanger, you're cooking it on American iron. Go to AdamCarolla.com and check it out again. They're sponsors, so let's keep them going. Good Mon PA company All right. Good day, Ball. Bryan. I didn't know all that. Good day, Teresa Strasser. Good day, Adam.
- [05:09]
Bald Brian
Carolla.
- [05:10]
Adam Carolla
Couple of quick things and then we'll jump right into the show and the news. Tell me if you guys are like me or not. I suspect you're not. Couple things. I was listening to some radio over the weekend, and I was going to talk about it yesterday, but I forgot you got a pressing issue of Molly's Poop to discuss. Yeah, I had to talk about Molly's Poops. Yeah, try poopta Day. It's why I don't like the aclu, and it's why I don't like a lot of groups that I feel like started off with the best of intentions and then at some point went a little nutty like most groups start off as. Yeah, this is a labor union or this is. We're trying to protect the people that work at this factory so they don't chain up the floor.
- [05:56]
Bald Brian
There should be a sprinkler system, and they should work 20 hours a day.
- [06:00]
Adam Carolla
Starts off with that and ends up in some fucking horrible morph thing that makes you go, really? There's. There was a bill that was passed at some point called Stolen Valor. And basically what it said is, you can't represent yourself as a decorated military soldier. You cannot. It's not about going to parties and trying to get laid by saying, I have a Purple Heart at home. It's in my other set of my underpants. I can show it to you. I got a Purple Heart on. Yeah, I got a purple van, Purple Heart. No, it's not about that. That's part of it. But the other part is you starting. Imagine you're hiring somebody and you think, this guy has a flying Cross or something like that. I mean, and this guy did three tours in Vietnam, or this guy was a decorated veteran of the first Gulf War. That. That's essentially lying. And we have the constitutional right to lie, by the way. And so somebody said, look, there needs to be. Because people were writing books, people were starting businesses, people were starting charitable funds based on their military record that they didn't have. And so they came up with this stolen valor thing. Plus, to every guy who really did get shot up in Vietnam or in some Gulf war somewhere and who did get pieced back together and did legitimately earn this cross, every time there's a fake one rolling around out there, yours is diminished a little bit.
- [07:33]
Bald Brian
Yeah, so far, this sounds like a good, good organization.
- [07:36]
Adam Carolla
ACLU went up against it, did battle, and they had to pull it off the books. It's basically the rule that basically said you cannot say that you've won or received military honor and military honors or whatever, that you have a constitutional right to lie. Although what I don't understand is, really, I can say I'm a doctor.
- [08:00]
Bald Brian
I was like, if I'm on an
- [08:01]
Adam Carolla
airplane and someone goes, someone's going into cardiac arrest, they're a doctor. I stand up and go out of the way. I mean, really, the irony is if you killed the guy while giving him cpr, they'd sue you.
- [08:11]
Bald Brian
Yeah. You'd be liable.
- [08:12]
Adam Carolla
I'm just saying, aclu. You started off with the best of intentions. You. You've somehow figured out a way to get everyone to hate you in the last 10 years. How about you knock it off and get back to the shit you started to work on in the first place? You know, focus on the popular shit.
- [08:26]
Bald Brian
Yeah. This is not how you gain followers and donations.
- [08:32]
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
- [08:32]
Bald Brian
Helping people lie about military service that they. That they didn't do.
- [08:36]
Adam Carolla
Well, it's a slippery slope because we don't let the jack off at the party, say he got the Purple Heart. Then the next thing you know, we've. Will rob people of their constitutional rights.
- [08:48]
Bald Brian
I guess I never thought about it not being illegal. I mean, if I apply for a job at American Express or something and I say that I went to Harvard and I graduated with highest honors and they find out I didn't, they could fire me, but there's no criminal action. Yeah, I'm just a liar and they're allowed to fire me, but I don't think they could take me to criminal or civil court.
- [09:08]
Adam Carolla
Well, it's also the notion of, again, the constitutional right to lie, which is, I understand. Like, otherwise we'd. Every single chick. Every time an officer pulled out their driver's license and said, 118 pounds, bitch, the car's leaning to the left. You understand? If we were in England, it'd be listening to the right. But the point is. Get out of the car, ma'. Am. Bob, get the tape measure and fire up the dash cam. I want to go ahead and throw a tape on this bitch. I mean, so obviously you want to be able to ride in £118 instead of £146 at your driver's. You know, when you feel. I mean, I understand that. Or you want to say you're the captain of your football team when you're riding the bench. I don't think anyone has a problem with that. And the idea that if we don't let people lie about their military service and somehow we're going to bust you. A party for bragging about playing football.
- [10:01]
Bald Brian
Let's make an exception. I mean, I understand.
- [10:04]
Adam Carolla
No, that's the whole point. There's no exceptions. Everything Just, it's the airport. A seven year old Johnny Whitaker needs to get frisked and so does the head of Al Qaeda. It's like, that's the point. That's what we're, that's what we're heading for. And that's what pisses me off. The you can't go, oh, just make an exception for this group or make an exception for that group. Or better yet, how about just basic good old common horse sense, you know, just basic stuff like listen, it's the same. They did it with pornography. They go, listen, how can you define what's offensive? And they said, well, I'll know it when I see it.
- [10:41]
Teresa Strasser
Right?
- [10:41]
Adam Carolla
And this is like you, Brian, lying about playing a little high school football. No harm, no foul. You trying to get yourself a job by saying you have a, you know, distinguished flying whatever, boom. That that is an offense or trying to start a charitable organization. Yeah. You'll know it when you see it.
- [11:01]
Bald Brian
Right? I mean, I understand when a group, a white supremacist group is trying to march and the ACLU has to come in and protect, protect their right to gather and march so that any group has the right to gather and march. And it's not popular because who likes skinheads, right?
- [11:15]
Adam Carolla
I mean, hell, right? Pretty good head of hair for a guy who loves himself a skinhead. I know the other thing that happened to me over the weekend as I saw The Cusack movie 2012, which really should just have been called takeoff and landing. Cause the entire thing was some guy pulling on the yoke going, come on, come on, we're not going to make it past the Chrysler Building. Come on. And it was just like 13 scenes of plane taking off and landing. But again they, the movie was really preachy because all the end of the world movies are, they always. There's no such thing as doing an end of the world movie that's not preachy, which is you had this data from the North Pole ten years ago, but they wouldn't listen to you because big oil would have lost too much money or you know, whatever it is, it's always that. It's always super preachy. But the thing about 2012, they got old. Very preachy. And it makes me realize I'm possibly a bad person. But you guys tell me, spoiler alert. But they built arks for everyone to get on and they built like seven arks for the entire population of the planet. Obviously can't fit on the seven arks. So what they do is they do what Noah did. They Take like a couple giraffes and a couple elephants. They're basically in charge of repopulating the planet at this point. So we'll take a couple Asian guys, we'll take a couple of black guys, we'll take, you know, that's how they did it. So obviously very finite amount of room on a boat. If you took three cruise ships and you had to get the world's population onto those three cruise ships, there'd be a lot of people didn't make the cut. They wouldn't be hanging on the lido deck. So the whole movie's point was the guys getting real preachy with all the people that were trying to get on the ark and the one guy going, let them in. They have just as much right to survive as we do. And I'm thinking, well, if you open the gate and let everyone in, it's just going to capsize or you're not going to have enough food for the first three days. So there's going to be overcrowding. I'm like, it's not going to work. And they he. And so the guy's getting real preachy. He's like, what was your decision making on who got on this ark? And the guy said, well, you know, genetic div insurance isn't one size fits all. That's why customers have enjoyed Progressive's name your price tool for years now. With the name your price tool, you tell them what you want to pay and they'll show you options that fit your budget. So whether you're picking out your first policy or just looking for something that works better for you and your family, they make it easy to see your options. Visit progressive.com find a rate that works for you with the name your price tool. Progressive Casualty Insurance company and affiliates Price and coverage match limited by state law.
- [14:02]
Bald Brian
For a small business owner, every day is full of surprises. Some great, some not so great, like when a client cancels their order at the last minute. But here's a surprise you will like. Progressive provides small business owners with 30 customizable coverage options to help keep their business going strong. So go ahead, surprise yourself. Get a quote in as little as 8 minutes@progressive commercial.com progressive casualty insurance company and affiliates and third party insurers. Coverage is not available in all states or for all vehicles and coverage selections.
- [14:33]
Teresa Strasser
Support for this podcast comes from Progressive,
- [14:35]
Adam Carolla
America's number one motorcycle insurer. Did you know writers who switch and save with Progressive save nearly $200 per year. That's a whole new pair of Writing gloves and more quote, today, Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates national average 12 month savings of $197 by new customers surveyed who saved with Progressive between October 2024 and September 2025. Potential savings will vary. Varsity. And he said, oh yeah. And then he showed a couple like OPEC guys a little racist. A couple OPEC guys, like walking up like clearly rich guys. He said, genetic diversity or was it money that got you onto this ark? And the guy said to him, hey, listen, this cost billions of dollars to build. We had to, we had to charge.
- [15:24]
Bald Brian
Graham Wellington has to get on.
- [15:25]
Adam Carolla
Graham Wellington must get on the ark. And I was just sitting around my living room, albeit with a nice Merlot buzz thinking, hello, my name is Sandeep Kumar. I think, yeah, fuck stick. Yes, the arcs cost billions of dollars and they needed money to fund the project. And yeah, like, isn't that. Why is that, does that make me bad by the way? Or is that just an. Is that just a truth? How many bottles of Merlot did it take to actually start yelling at 2012? Well, thankfully I have the tea 20 back and watch you back and drive. But listen, you preachy Hollywood fucks, that's how it works. You, you have money and you get on the ark, like, what, what's the big deal? We should open it up to all of the world's poorest and most diseased. And by the way, there will be no ark because no one will be able to afford. The ark will not be built.
- [16:14]
Bald Brian
Right.
- [16:14]
Adam Carolla
Let me tell you this, there's no money.
- [16:15]
Bald Brian
If I may discuss Gilligan's island for a second. Okay, now when you're on the island, you got a rich guy, right? And you got a hot girl.
- [16:24]
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
- [16:24]
Bald Brian
Ginger Marianne. Right.
- [16:27]
Adam Carolla
Girl next door.
- [16:28]
Bald Brian
Some girl. And then you have like a sailor, an actual sailor should know.
- [16:33]
Adam Carolla
And then you have Captain.
- [16:34]
Bald Brian
The captain.
- [16:34]
Adam Carolla
Skipper.
- [16:35]
Bald Brian
Skipper, thank you. You have an actual skipper. And then you have the professor. Now, Mr. Howell, with all his money, what good is he, you know who you want? The Professor. And that's why Gilligan's island is a celebration of the intellect. Because of all those people. If there was any chance of anyone getting them off, it was always the Professor. So I would say if I had that arc, then really smart people should be over represented.
- [17:02]
Adam Carolla
The professor and John Cusack.
- [17:05]
Bald Brian
No. And Bill Gates.
- [17:06]
Adam Carolla
Oh man.
- [17:07]
Bald Brian
And here's what I say about rich people. A lot of times they got rich because they were smart.
- [17:12]
Adam Carolla
Yes. And guess what? They worked hard. It wasn't like they just raped the land it's not like some guy's fucking a hole in the ground going, you know what? I'm gonna get rich.
- [17:20]
Bald Brian
I don't want W. Because I'm not sure that he could have made his own fortune, but I want a Bill Gates type guy, right?
- [17:27]
Adam Carolla
Yes. They're smarter and more interesting than we are. Yeah, yeah. And then there was a. I don't know if you guys got the Blu ray, but there's a. In the deleted scenes when. When Kuzak.
- [17:40]
Bald Brian
I don't have Blu ray yet.
- [17:42]
Adam Carolla
When he was. I watched the deleted scenes when he was on the ark. I guess in hindsight wasn't a great scene, but anyway, huge crane with a cargo net filled with Just for Men. Come. Just. Just a hair dye coming. Coming onto the lido deck. Oh, yeah. True to life. Yeah. Just, you know, when they put it in the cargo net and then they lift it up with the crane and they bring it on. Cases and cases and cases of Just for Men.
- [18:09]
Bald Brian
I want to agree with your point. Let's not be so mad at rich people. They pay for shit with their taxes. And also a lot of them made their money honestly. And because they were smart and hardworking,
- [18:22]
Adam Carolla
most of those guys aspire to be like them. Here's the deal, and I'll tell you this. Even if there's some trust fund baby, believe me, he has a grandfather or even a father that puts 70 hour weeks in at the office and never fucking stopped with his nose to the goddamn grindstone. And again, they're fucking paying for everything. So let's fucking back off a little bit and just call it what it is. It's envy. And that's why we're going after him. But again, Hollywood, I don't know what your preachy message is. What is your preachy message? That everyone should just get on this ark that doesn't now exist because there was no funding for it.
- [18:59]
Bald Brian
You need Mr. Howell and you need the professor.
- [19:02]
Adam Carolla
Right.
- [19:02]
Bald Brian
And you probably need Ginger.
- [19:03]
Adam Carolla
You don't need Lovey.
- [19:05]
Bald Brian
Yeah, she's dispensable.
- [19:07]
Adam Carolla
Yeah. And she wouldn't be good to eat.
- [19:09]
Bald Brian
No. Bony.
- [19:10]
Adam Carolla
Bony.
- [19:11]
Bald Brian
Sinewy.
- [19:12]
Adam Carolla
Sinewy. You know what Gilligan's island had in it that you don't see anymore? You know, I talk about what happened to souffle humor, for instance.
- [19:22]
Bald Brian
Yeah.
- [19:23]
Adam Carolla
You know, it had a lot of hammock. Hammock and coconut hammock humor. A lot of guys fallen off a hammock. Every third fucking episode is the skipper spinning around and hitting the ground of the hut. Lots of hammock humor. As a matter of fact, it was impossible to have the star. By the way, a woman in a sitcom has never fallen off a hammock. A guy has fallen off a million hammocks in sitcoms. For some reason, it's not funny or they're not dumb enough.
- [19:51]
Bald Brian
I don't know. Chrissy from Three's Company seems like she probably couldn't stay in a hammock if they put her in one.
- [19:57]
Adam Carolla
She would crawl under the underside of it or something like that. Yeah.
- [20:00]
Bald Brian
And not understand how it was supposed to go.
- [20:02]
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Studio notes for Gilligan's Island. More hammocks. And can they get a rake on this island? Yeah. Banana cream pies. What they'd always do.
- [20:12]
Bald Brian
I was very affected by the show because, as we've discussed, we could only really watch three shows on the old black and white Zenith.
- [20:18]
Adam Carolla
Yeah. And we're so off this time.
- [20:22]
Bald Brian
I have to be like the professor. Because knowledge is the. The only thing that's really gonna have value. Gotta read a lot of books.
- [20:29]
Adam Carolla
Yeah. And I was always that thing where I was like, it really got down to you. It was a. It was a WKRP type. Sophie's Choice. Sophie's Sack Choice.
- [20:40]
Bald Brian
Oh, those two.
- [20:41]
Adam Carolla
Yeah. With Ginger and Marianne. It was the same with wkrp, where they had the hot Lonnie Anderson, but then they sort of bookwormy Bailey with the glasses. Bailey with the glasses. I think a lot of guys, when Bailey. Well, here's what they did. And this. This is where we made our mistake. We went, you know what? If I was on that island, I'd be paying attention to Marianne because everyone else would be focused on Ginger. Yeah. But times when 2 million people say that event. That's not going to work. That's. That's.
- [21:08]
Bald Brian
Everyone has the same idea. They're all going for Marianne.
- [21:10]
Adam Carolla
That's what I had with WKRP in Cincinnati. I was like, yeah, I'm going to focus on Bailey. Let the other guys fight it out over Lonnie and I focus on Bailey.
- [21:20]
Bald Brian
See, I already knew I couldn't go really the Ginger or Marianne route. I knew I was really pretty much stuck with Professor.
- [21:26]
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
- [21:26]
Bald Brian
I wasn't gonna be able to use my wiles.
- [21:28]
Adam Carolla
I don't know. I see you sort of a Ginger. Little bit latter day ginger, Wholesome. Should we do ginger? You want to fire up some news, by the way? Let's see what we got from the International News Center. Next to Donnie's mini bikes. This is the news with Teresa Strasser.
- [21:46]
Bald Brian
I'll tell you what I just heard, because Marianne's a little bottom heavy. So that's what I determined. Let's face it. Okay, well, there's actually some real breaking news in the Mel Gibson case. But before we get to that, here is the upside of this Mel Gibson situation. It's inspired a lot of grassroots creativity, and I don't know if any of it has found its way to you, but I have a feeling everybody in America has probably seen the kittens with the Mel Gibson cursive.
- [22:12]
Adam Carolla
No.
- [22:13]
Bald Brian
Oh, my God. You don't want to like it because it's hacky, but you have to like it. It is so adorable. It's the little, you know, kittens that are in those posters, like, hang in there. But it's got, you know, Mel Gibson quotes, you know, like in the script,
- [22:27]
Adam Carolla
you'd normally find, like, cherish each day, Right?
- [22:30]
Bald Brian
Yeah, it's Mel Gibson quotes for some reason. It's pretty phenomenal. Yeah, blow me, because I deserve it. And there's a little kitten. It's got a little cursive. There's like, 20 of those, and each one is delightful.
- [22:42]
Adam Carolla
Right.
- [22:42]
Bald Brian
ABC News has put together the top five Mel Gibson mockeries. One of them is pretty awesome. It involves Miss Piggy.
- [22:53]
Adam Carolla
Oh, really?
- [22:53]
Bald Brian
I'll get to that in a moment. There's a. There's the Bipolar cocktail that's available at the Oak Bar at the Plaza in New York City. That's made with 1oz Van Gogh vodka. He was bipolar. It's. It's made with an ounce.
- [23:08]
Teresa Strasser
Bowls.
- [23:09]
Bald Brian
Vo. I don't know how you pronounce it. Jennifer Gin. It's a Gibson. The drink is a Gibson, after all. It's got vermouth, club soda, splash of onion juice, and it's best served on the rocks, like his career.
- [23:20]
Adam Carolla
Has anyone ever taken a sip off a tumbler with a highball in it and went, man, where's the onion juice? I need a. I need one of those Pearl. Somebody better get some onion flavor in this drink. Really, you're gonna hate this. I prefer the Gibson Martini with the onion in it. Yeah. Marinated onion to the regular. Martin,
- [23:45]
Bald Brian
what about you? Occasionally, they stuff a little blue cheese in one of those olives. And a dry martini. God, that's good.
- [23:51]
Adam Carolla
So it's a Gibson martini.
- [23:54]
Bald Brian
Also on their list of the five best mockeries. I guess David Letterman had a top 10 list of top 10 reasons for those crazy calls. And some of the highlights thought she was one of them Russian spies and wanted to show The Jews. I'm an equal opportunity offender.
- [24:13]
Adam Carolla
Nice.
- [24:14]
Bald Brian
That's good stuff. You've probably heard some of the mashups. Most famously is probably Christian Bale with Mel Gibson in A Phone Call. But what I really like there is a Betty White mashup. But my favorite is Miss Piggy.
- [24:29]
Adam Carolla
Mm.
- [24:29]
Bald Brian
Let's take a listen to this mashup from YouTube of Mel Gibson and Ms. Piggy.
- [24:35]
Adam Carolla
Why are you telling me all this? Trying to breastfeed with fucking foreign bodies in you. No, no, no. This is all natural. All natural? Correct. Okay, good. So you're not lying to me about fake tits? I mean, you don't count Botox, do you? You fucking lied to me. That was just silliness, not a lie. Who cares? So they look ridiculous. Get rid of them, why don't you? What did you say? They look stupid. I'm just telling you, it's just an appraisal. Keep them if you want. Look stupid, see if I give a fuck. But they're too big and they look stupid. They look like some Vegas bitch. They look like a Vegas whore. I'm sorry, what was the question? And you go around sashaying around in your tight clothes. I won't stand for that anymore. Modeling is my life, and it's a fucking embarrassment to me. You look like a fucking bitch on heat. Well, you know. And if you get raped by a pack of niggers, it'll be your fault. There's. There's not a problem with that.
- [25:30]
Bald Brian
And that's Miss Piggy.
- [25:31]
Adam Carolla
Wow.
- [25:32]
Bald Brian
The Christian Bale one is. Felt like maybe Brian could have done a better job. It's a great idea. I don't know if the execution is perfect.
- [25:40]
Adam Carolla
Oh, you mean even Brian could have done a better job?
- [25:44]
Bald Brian
No, no, I meant that's the way it sounds. Very few people on earth could have done a better job, Brian being one of them, as he's famous for his mashups.
- [25:50]
Adam Carolla
That wasn't clear at all.
- [25:52]
Bald Brian
Sorry.
- [25:53]
Adam Carolla
She want to hear it. Do we have mail?
- [25:56]
Bald Brian
We can find it if you want. In the meantime, Jack Osborne. They put him on the list. I don't know if you saw. He wore a T shirt with Mel Gibson's insult. One of his insults.
- [26:07]
Adam Carolla
Oh, really?
- [26:08]
Bald Brian
And a mug shot. Yeah. So that's cute. It's creative. The kittens. And the curse of the script, of course, rounds out the list.
- [26:16]
Adam Carolla
Yeah, well, everyone with a Macintosh and a little spare time and access to the Internet is now just going to go bananas, right? I mean, this stuff can never go away. There's there's millions of sort of pieces of. I don't want to call it art. Art, but projects devoted. Yeah, I just mean whether it's audio, video, or both, it's good. And maybe it's just up in the ether, but there's. There's tons of it now. Right.
- [26:43]
Bald Brian
Do you want to hear a little bit of the Bale thing? You'll see what I mean. It's a great idea.
- [26:47]
Adam Carolla
Well, I'm only. Here's the only reason I'm doing it. I'm doing it just because I learned in broadcast that if you mention it. If you mention something a bunch of times, you have to. You have to play it.
- [26:57]
Bald Brian
Yeah, okay.
- [27:01]
Adam Carolla
Like if we talked about raping Teresa.
- [27:03]
Bald Brian
You have to do it. Like, at least in the first hour
- [27:06]
Adam Carolla
you have something to say to this prick. Stay on this phone and don't hang up with me. I can. I have plenty of energy to drive over there. You understand me? And I will. Oh, good for you. So just fucking listen to me. No, you make me want to smoke. Shut the fuck up. No, fuck you. I'm gonna fucking kick your fucking ass. You won't even fucking try. Get the fuck away from me. What the fuck are you. You should just fucking smile and blow me. Do I want. No. Ah da da da da. Like this in the background. What the fuck is it with you? You make my life so fucking difficult. You're un. Believable. What? What don't you fucking understand? I'm fucking serious. You have no fucking soul. How about that? Fuck sake, man. You're amateur. You seriously, man. You and me, we're done professionally and you're a dishonest c. But emotionally, they're going on forever. No, I need a woman, cuz I deserve it. Give me a answer. I'm going to go. Do you want me to go trash your life? Do you want me to trash him? Absolutely, unequivocally. Think for one fucking second. You need a brain transplant. Then why are you trash in my scene? Because you hurt me so bad that I will make your goddamn life miserable. Now you have one more chance. I'm gonna kick your ass. Get a restraining order. You're a nice guy. You're a nice guy without a. Cut it. When you're bullshitting and around like this, cunt. You don't have any friends except me. And you treat me like I want you off the set, you prick. Don't you hang up on me. Stay off the set, man. You hang up. I'm coming over there. You know the part of cussing out a coworker I enjoy. What I like the part where the person is coming down off of that fugue state they were in and they realize that just for the last five minutes, they have been shouting in front of a large group of people at one guy who's making 26 bucks an hour when you're making millions of dollars. And so now you have this weird transition of, I can't just go, I was wrong, or sorry, or scratch that, or I take it back because I'm a star and I just got done pitching a fit. But I do know in my mind I've overdone it and people are looking at me. So there's this cool down kind of coasts part where they go like, it starts off with fucking Brian. You don't know shit. You've ruined my show long enough. I don't know what the fuck's going on in your life, but I don't want you to do it here. You're totally unfucking professional. I don't know what fucking part of Isaac Hayes drop you couldn't fucking understand, but either way, I don't want your fucking scrawny ass destroying my goddamn podcast because I'm number one. And the reason I stay number one is because I get rid of loose ends like you. And then there's that part where you realize.
- [30:24]
Bald Brian
You got that right.
- [30:24]
Adam Carolla
Yeah, good. Everyone's starting to look at you and all that. And then they start making, like, a weird transition where they go, look, you're
- [30:32]
Bald Brian
a good guy, right?
- [30:34]
Adam Carolla
But I don't want you up. My show, they start, like, working in little.
- [30:38]
Bald Brian
You can't grind to a halt. You have to slowly, because people know you did wrong.
- [30:43]
Adam Carolla
Yeah, listen, you're a ass licker. Your wife's a delight.
- [30:48]
Bald Brian
I love your wife. She makes great cookies. And I've always liked.
- [30:53]
Adam Carolla
You are an impeccable dresser.
- [30:54]
Bald Brian
The way you dress.
- [30:56]
Adam Carolla
I am done with you sabotaging my show. The gazpacho you served at your party was delightful. But I'm done with you coming in here and sabotaging what I'm doing. I like your frames. Don't get me wrong.
- [31:09]
Bald Brian
Don't get me wrong.
- [31:10]
Adam Carolla
Yeah, it's just like a lot of,
- [31:12]
Bald Brian
Maybe I'm being hard on you, but it's because I care, right?
- [31:15]
Adam Carolla
So there's this weird thing where you realize you've been fucking yelling for 10 minutes, so you have to start weaving in a. You're, you know, you're not a horrible guy or something, but you can't just back off it completely. Otherwise you're a puss.
- [31:29]
Bald Brian
Right.
- [31:30]
Adam Carolla
I appreciate you saying scrawny, by the way. Yeah, that's the nicest thing anyone.
- [31:33]
Bald Brian
It's not like Marianne. She was bottom heavy hair shaped. It was in then tmz. This is the actual news. Has learned that Oksana Grigorieva signed an agreement with Mel Gibson for a 15 million dollar package which would have kept the Mel tape secret. But ultimately she walked away from it. I think they signed some sort of short form. But when it came to the long form, she claimed she felt coerced. She refused to sign it and thus we hear the evidence now this.
- [31:59]
Adam Carolla
You mean coerced? Like she wouldn't take the $15 million.
- [32:03]
Bald Brian
She felt she was coerced and she didn't want to sign it.
- [32:06]
Adam Carolla
How much? By the way, again, I know I'm not the most popular cat in town for working on this angle, but the idea that we're solely focusing on Mel and his over the phone meltdown, which I guess it's over the phone. All this via the phone.
- [32:28]
Bald Brian
I think some of the meltdowns were in person.
- [32:31]
Adam Carolla
Were they?
- [32:31]
Bald Brian
And some were on the phone.
- [32:33]
Adam Carolla
Were they. Did she. Was she like speaking to the carnation there was the.
- [32:37]
Bald Brian
Speaking to the diamond earrings. I don't know whatever happened to that. But it was reported that she had recording devices in her earrings, which makes me think that some of the conversations were recorded in person.
- [32:46]
Adam Carolla
Although the Radar Online could have been over the phone.
- [32:49]
Bald Brian
It could have been over the phone too. The Radar Online conversations seem to all
- [32:52]
Adam Carolla
be back with all these like, I'm coming over there and all this kind of stuff.
- [32:55]
Bald Brian
Yeah.
- [32:55]
Adam Carolla
Okay, so here's the point. As big a dick as he is, he never evidently never did anything. I mean, he never went over there. Yeah, he did a lot of knocked
- [33:04]
Bald Brian
out our teeth or veneers.
- [33:05]
Adam Carolla
We'll see. I got. I got to dig into this a little bit, but I'm just saying he did a lot of fucking yelling over the phone and not a lot of getting into his golf cart and going up the hill or wherever. Whatever he was supposed to be doing
- [33:17]
Bald Brian
seem like a spectacular human being. I think we can all agree on that. However, it does seem like anybody who would display that much rage over the phone, there's a good chance he was probably violent in person. Just a guess.
- [33:28]
Adam Carolla
Let me say this. Mel is a super rich guy and we're in a super litigious society. If he was punching people, people, I mean, just a violent guy. Violent guys punch Everybody. If he was punching people, and I'm not saying he didn't, I'm just saying. But he had a rich history of punching people. I'd say I'm looking at a chipped tooth now, by the way. I would say that we probably would have known about it somewhere in the last 25 years. I'm not saying he didn't do this to her. I'm just saying there are plenty of violent, out of control guys in our society. Mel's probably. I think he's more talk than he is a violent, out of control guy. Because I think we would have. There would have been some lawsuits. I don't know. I'm just saying the floodgates are now open to people recording conversations and then selling them back to. I mean, if you think of it this way, what relationship does not have a horrible conversation or 10 in it? You know what I mean?
- [34:31]
Bald Brian
None.
- [34:31]
Adam Carolla
That's it. I mean, it doesn't have to be threatening. It'd just be embarrassing.
- [34:35]
Bald Brian
Yeah. It wouldn't be on the level of raped by a pack of N words or I'm gonna put you in the rose garden or you're gonna blow me first. But I've said things that I would be very ashamed of later.
- [34:44]
Adam Carolla
Right. So now as long as we can record that stuff, we can sell it back to the person that says said it.
- [34:50]
Bald Brian
Well, nobody really gives a shit unless you're pretty famous.
- [34:52]
Adam Carolla
Right? I know I'm. I'm making this for famous people. I just. I just mean all the focus is on Mel and. Right, and rightfully so. But we should focus on the man in the mirror a little bit here and saying, what are we turning into as a society where this stuff is for sale? You're going to record this conversation with your palimony partner and then sell it or threaten to sell it. I mean, there's a blackmail element to this too, isn't there?
- [35:22]
Bald Brian
Oh, absolutely. And you know, for me, the, the mitigating circumstance is that there's a child involved. So if I was in a horrible relationship with somebody and it seemed dangerous and violent, I would. Might do things I wouldn't ordinarily do to protect my child.
- [35:37]
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
- [35:37]
Bald Brian
And there is, there is a custody case here, and that was what all of these negotiations were surrounding. But here's something interesting. So I know you know this from your crank anchor show. California is a two party state, if I'm not mistaken. So if both people have to know that a conversation is being recorded or can't be used in court, you can't
- [35:55]
Adam Carolla
call from California or to California and record somebody's phone call.
- [36:00]
Bald Brian
I mean, you can and sell it to Radar online, but it's inadmissible in a court of law. This is my guess. So, you know, if they were to go to court, they can't use this. But how can you find any sort of jury that hasn't heard this be pretty difficult.
- [36:14]
Adam Carolla
Well, I have to get my nanny, Olga. Oh, yeah, because she was the one who never saw those violent billboards for that video game.
- [36:23]
Bald Brian
She'd make a great juror. Yeah, she's a tabula rasa. You know what I mean? She can have a totally open mind.
- [36:29]
Adam Carolla
Etch A Sketch is put in a paint can shaker every day. Yeah, you just run in. Listen, it's real easy. I run into this shit all the time. I was talking to Zach Levi from, from Chuck. From the show Chuck over the, over the weekend with our own Professor Sandy Gans sitting in here. And we're just talking about. I don't know why, but when Riddick Bowe fought Evander Holyfield in Caesar's palace, the fan man blew in and the guy later killed himself. But the fan man blew in and a guy jumped off a building with a parachute and he had a fan strapped to his ass. It was the big fan man incident. And both of them looked at me and said, who? And I said, the fan man, the heavyweight fight. Where the one heavyweight fight that was stopped in the middle of the fight because a guy with a fan strapped to his ass and a hang glider went into the center of the ring and they said, when? Wait a minute, we got a 30 year old guy and a 48 year old guy and you're both from here and you both like sports and you both speak English and neither one of you knows the fucking fan man story. And they said, I don't know what you're talking about. And that's when I realized these guys would be awesome for a jury.
- [37:45]
Bald Brian
Maybe your mom. You're a number three.
- [37:50]
Adam Carolla
My mom knows stuff. I just don't think she admits to knowing anything.
- [37:54]
Teresa Strasser
How would I know?
- [37:55]
Adam Carolla
Yeah, my mom. My mom would be like, yeah, she wouldn't know who I am.
- [37:57]
Bald Brian
They put her on the stand and they go, did you hear anything of the Mel Gibson phone calls?
- [38:02]
Adam Carolla
How should I know? Well, mom, you're surely. You've watched tmz, right? How would I know that? But you've. Well, because you have. There's the Internet, there's newspapers, there's, you know, I mean, you've not seen it on the local news?
- [38:16]
Teresa Strasser
How can you possibly expect me to answer that?
- [38:20]
Bald Brian
Well, Mrs. Carolla, this has been, like, the biggest news.
- [38:22]
Adam Carolla
It was like living with Mr. Al. By the way, from the Tootsie Roll Tootsie Pop commercial. It was awesome. Growing up. What a fountain of knowledge. Hey, mom, why is the sky blue? How should I know? Hey, why do the leaves change on the trees? How should I know? Hey, what do you think I'll get for Christmas this year?
- [38:42]
Bald Brian
How should I know which way is east or west?
- [38:44]
Teresa Strasser
How would I know that?
- [38:46]
Adam Carolla
Are you guys saving? Have you thought about saving for college? How should I know? Well, I mean, I need some. I need new clothes for school.
- [38:56]
Teresa Strasser
How would I know that?
- [38:58]
Bald Brian
And then some Freak out.
- [39:00]
Adam Carolla
Hey, mom, here's a very simple question. What's for dinner? Freak out.
- [39:08]
Bald Brian
Okay. You know.
- [39:09]
Adam Carolla
Oh, come on, give me one. Thank you.
- [39:12]
Bald Brian
All right, well, you know how you've. You haven't totally succeeded in turning me into a horrible person, but you've definitely made inroads.
- [39:19]
Adam Carolla
Thank you.
- [39:20]
Bald Brian
This Rachel, you could tell?
- [39:22]
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
- [39:23]
Bald Brian
Oh, it dawned on me we were talking about the Guinness Book of World's Records. By the way, she's gonna be on Dr. Drew's show. And I'll tell you how he.
- [39:31]
Adam Carolla
Oh, she's in there for biggest whore bag.
- [39:33]
Bald Brian
Well, what I'm saying is she's gonna be on Dr. Drew's show, and I'll tell you how he closed the deal personally, according to tmz. In a second.
- [39:39]
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
- [39:40]
Bald Brian
However, I started thinking to myself when I heard the story, started thinking she should be in the Guinness Book of Records for highest paid whore. Because if you think about the 10 million she allegedly got from Tiger woods and the half a million she's getting for being on celebrity rehab with Dr. Drew, reportedly, that's ten and a half million dollars for being essentially a prostitute.
- [40:04]
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
- [40:05]
Bald Brian
I mean, that's. She's taking money for having had sex.
- [40:07]
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
- [40:09]
Bald Brian
And obviously rehab money isn't for sex, but it's directly as a result of having had sex with a married guy.
- [40:15]
Adam Carolla
This is all part. I mean, it all fits into my fucking going to hell in a hamper as a society. Whether it's the aclu, you know, shooting down the stolen valor thing, or the on parade writing books, or getting $10 million or the other ones recording the things and selling it back to the guy. I mean, you see where this is all sort of heading. It just used to be where if you said you had a Purple Heart and you didn't have a Purple Heart, you'd be a fucking pariah.
- [40:46]
Bald Brian
Right.
- [40:47]
Adam Carolla
If you recorded someone's conversation, tried to sell back there, you're an extortionist. And if you're fucking a golfer and then threaten to write a book about it if you didn't get $10 million, you're fucking pariah, whore. We had Scarlet Letters for these things.
- [41:00]
Bald Brian
I know. I think Mel deserves more than, though, a Scarlet Letter.
- [41:04]
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
- [41:04]
Bald Brian
Now listen, for his part, Mel's just saying.
- [41:06]
Adam Carolla
I don't think Mel's a good guy by any stretch of the imagination. I'm just saying let's focus on other aspects of this instead of blaming the victim.
- [41:15]
Bald Brian
Instead of just, no, I know she's not.
- [41:19]
Adam Carolla
You'll find out. She's a horrible person. She's.
- [41:21]
Bald Brian
Oh, she's clearly a horrible person. Clear. I'm telling you, she was. It looks as though she was with him when he was still married already.
- [41:28]
Adam Carolla
I want to know.
- [41:29]
Bald Brian
She's an atrocious person for me.
- [41:30]
Adam Carolla
I want to know the part about knocking the teeth out, because I. That's. That's my. That's my main thing. The part where he's just fucking screaming. That's just a drunken or drug addled or fucked up guy screaming. Because people scream. Shit. I'm more interested in what they do. We're now in a society that really focuses on what everyone's screaming versus what they're doing. I want his examples of people prejudice, you know, or any of the groups that he screamed about. I'm not condoning it, but I'm still more about your actions than what's coming out of your mouth. Now, if the fist is going into her mouth, that's a situation, and that's obviously unacceptable.
- [42:10]
Bald Brian
Back to Rachel. You could tell. First she turned down celebrity Rehab, and then she had a meet. This, according to TMZ, a personal meet with Dr. Drew. And because of her huge crush on him, according to insiders, she agreed to do the show.
- [42:28]
Adam Carolla
Oh, man.
- [42:28]
Bald Brian
And for half a million dollars, she
- [42:31]
Adam Carolla
had a crush on his wallet.
- [42:33]
Bald Brian
Yeah. I don't know what she's addicted to.
- [42:37]
Adam Carolla
Yeah, well, I think he said it.
- [42:38]
Bald Brian
Married guys.
- [42:39]
Adam Carolla
He just stopped at a dick. Oh.
- [42:42]
Bald Brian
Oh.
- [42:43]
Adam Carolla
Mm.
- [42:45]
Bald Brian
Good news for you in the world of Whoopi Goldberg.
- [42:47]
Adam Carolla
Yeah, what a talent.
- [42:50]
Bald Brian
She had a little trouble.
- [42:51]
Adam Carolla
I can't believe her syndicated radio deal didn't work out.
- [42:54]
Bald Brian
What?
- [42:55]
Adam Carolla
Seems like it's doing, like, a syndicated radio show. I know, but when you hear this,
- [42:59]
Bald Brian
you'll be especially shocked.
- [43:00]
Adam Carolla
So fast off the cuff. I mean, so lightning fast. I can't believe she couldn't do radio.
- [43:07]
Bald Brian
Yeah, she had a little trouble with the name of her show which she has been appearing on for quite some time. Time. Let's take a listen to Whoopi and welcome to
- [43:21]
Adam Carolla
welcome. Welcome to a day of Hot Topics
- [43:26]
Teresa Strasser
right here on the View.
- [43:31]
Adam Carolla
Are you feeling all right? Whoopy? I don't know what you mean.
- [43:35]
Teresa Strasser
You're a little, you're a little woo.
- [43:37]
Adam Carolla
I'm jet lagged. You're jet lag because you just came back.
- [43:39]
Teresa Strasser
I just came back from Vienna.
- [43:41]
Adam Carolla
Vienna, yes. It was an insanely huge party and I just got back and.
- [43:47]
Teresa Strasser
Did you party too much, Fluffy? Well, I, I may have partied too much but you know, I have to fly.
- [43:53]
Adam Carolla
Drugged.
- [43:53]
Teresa Strasser
Oh, that's right. So I'm still slightly drugged and, and
- [44:00]
Adam Carolla
I'm sure somewhere in me I'm still partying. You know, we're gonna go and come back because I got a little gas. We'll be right back.
- [44:11]
Teresa Strasser
So there's a slow moving thing there that now says parents in Massachusetts are angry that schools are sending students home
- [44:23]
Adam Carolla
with so called fat letters warning parents
- [44:28]
Teresa Strasser
that their kids body mass index could
- [44:31]
Adam Carolla
mean future weight problems.
- [44:36]
Teresa Strasser
We know better than anybody else, we
- [44:39]
Adam Carolla
can say what we want, but sometimes the giant jaw comes and grabs off
- [44:45]
Teresa Strasser
our hinds and chews it up. Now sometimes it's funny to some and
- [44:49]
Adam Carolla
it ain't funny to others but you know, it's funny right now the fact that I'm still sitting up straight.
- [44:56]
Bald Brian
Thank you gawker.com for that gold mine of gems.
- [44:59]
Adam Carolla
Well, let me say this. First off, I have plenty of tapes I used to bring in of her when we did the old radio show where she sounds just slurry. She did there. So I'm not sure if you use drugs as an excuse, but can I just say this to all the good ladies of the View or if we have any producers listening, I know they're all huge fans. You see these sports shows like if you back in the day, if you watch best damn sports show and the way they do these sports shows is you need a bunch of guys like Charles Barkley and a bunch of guys like Brian Cox and other other guys who play in the NFL, played in the NBA, John Salley and so on and so forth and they don't do the lifting. They have Rose, I can't think of his first name right now. Chris Rose. Chris Rose.
- [45:49]
Bald Brian
Or you're Ernie from E.J.
- [45:51]
Adam Carolla
ernie Johnson. Yeah. You have, you have Chris Rose. And what Chris Rose does is he reads the Teleprompter. He brings it in from the commercial. Hey, here's who's joining us today, blah, blah, blah. Because he's an announcer. Yes. He's a broadcaster.
- [46:04]
Bald Brian
He's a sports analogy. You got a point guard distributing the ball.
- [46:07]
Adam Carolla
Yeah. So you have one guy who can handle the ball. Why do they have Shaq bringing the ball up court?
- [46:13]
Bald Brian
You don't want Shaq putting the ball on the court. You don't want him ever dribbling the ball. Pass it to him inside, right?
- [46:19]
Adam Carolla
And it's like. It's that same sort of Seacrest, American Idol kind of thing, is you get the guy who's good with the teleprompter, and you get with the guy who's good with the clock, and you have him sort of manage the game.
- [46:30]
Bald Brian
It's difficult. There's 14 seconds left. He knows just when to say Seacrest out right. He understands who's picking up what shots.
- [46:37]
Adam Carolla
I've always said, why do you give it to the slurry chick who has either stigmatism or a learning disability or. She's. I don't know if she has. Whatever Donnie has. Donnie claims to be. Is partial dyslexic or something. I don't know what the fuck it is, but she's not good at this. What part of Whoopi's game would you say is comparable to Shaqs? Shaqs are the top 10.
- [47:03]
Bald Brian
Alzheimer's point is not her handling the ball.
- [47:07]
Adam Carolla
She's. You don't. Here's what. Post op.
- [47:10]
Bald Brian
Yes.
- [47:11]
Adam Carolla
Whoopee. Post up, just like you did in that horrible movie Eddie and fucking wait for Norm Nixon to feed it into you.
- [47:18]
Bald Brian
One sassy line, right? She's got one. Move to the basket.
- [47:22]
Adam Carolla
Why do you have her fucking sitting there going. And now, out of mash. Masha Massa, Massive, Massachusetts.
- [47:31]
Bald Brian
Welcome back to the.
- [47:33]
Adam Carolla
Yeah, why are you. But seriously, it's unfair to have her.
- [47:38]
Bald Brian
You know what I mean?
- [47:39]
Adam Carolla
Let Joy Behar do the. Here. We're back. We're coming back. We're ins and outs. Throws. Look at the clock. Because Whoopi does a ton of, like, the. The producers are waving their hands, so I don't know what. They're talking in my ear now. Something's going. Going across the teleprompter. Like all the shit you're not supposed to say and all the shit. Get the one pro. Let them cleanly get in and out. And then Whoopi becomes the color man, becomes Charles Barkley.
- [48:06]
Bald Brian
Yes. You can't have Barkley Without Ernie.
- [48:09]
Adam Carolla
Yes.
- [48:09]
Bald Brian
Team.
- [48:10]
Adam Carolla
Imagine Barkley watching the clock and throwing it and setting up. And oh, by the way, our guest is a best selling author whose book's name is a title and out. And no way she is too far out of it or never could do it. Don't let her do that.
- [48:27]
Bald Brian
Don't you miss Meredith Vieira? She's smooth.
- [48:30]
Adam Carolla
Yes.
- [48:31]
Bald Brian
She has thought for Brian.
- [48:33]
Adam Carolla
What's up with and from who Wants to Be a Millionaire?
- [48:37]
Bald Brian
Yeah.
- [48:37]
Adam Carolla
So what's up? Is it in her contract? Does she feel like the person that does that is sort of the.
- [48:41]
Bald Brian
The point for leader of the show. Because it was Rosie.
- [48:45]
Adam Carolla
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever it is. Or start writing it phonetically or use it.
- [48:50]
Bald Brian
Sound it out.
- [48:51]
Adam Carolla
Sound it out or do something. But don't have her throw it to commercial and set up the Hot Topics because that's a disaster. You think? There's also kind of a thing where like Whoopi's been doing it now for a while. So if they tried to. Hey, Whoopi, how about Joy takes it for a while. Right. Obviously, whatever it is, you're not doing a great job. If someone. If the skipper says, you know, we want to move you from fourth to ninth, it's of kind. Cuz your bat's so hot either way.
- [49:15]
Bald Brian
Wait.
- [49:15]
Adam Carolla
All right, all right.
- [49:16]
Bald Brian
Good news. Got a beastiality story.
- [49:20]
Adam Carolla
Yeah, you do.
- [49:21]
Bald Brian
It's been a while.
- [49:22]
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Today in beastiality, it's the production values
- [49:34]
Bald Brian
that really set this podcast apart. A man in Florida was arrested for having sex with Christie Brinkley. Where's the crime in that, you ask?
- [49:43]
Adam Carolla
No crime.
- [49:44]
Bald Brian
Christie Brinkley is the name of the man's dog.
- [49:47]
Adam Carolla
No.
- [49:48]
Bald Brian
Armand Packer, 64, was booked on felony charges after he told a veterinarian office employee that he had had relations with his great Dane.
- [49:55]
Adam Carolla
Chris Sprinkley dug his movie Meet the Packers.
- [49:58]
Bald Brian
I was good in that.
- [49:59]
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
- [50:00]
Bald Brian
To be fair.
- [50:02]
Adam Carolla
Great Dane, huh?
- [50:03]
Bald Brian
Great Dane. Yeah. He faces up to five years in prison. Now his lawyer is arguing that he was just making a joke.
- [50:10]
Adam Carolla
Mm. Yeah. I mention in my new book coming out when I think you can. Yeah. If you go to AdamCarolla.com, you can hit the button. And the pre sales are big because it'll get us onto the New York Times bestseller list if we sell enough. So then when the book comes out, powder will be on the list. So if you're a fan and you like the stuff, then check it out. It's all in there. I wrote it with Lynch's help and I must Say it's pretty good.
- [50:39]
Bald Brian
Oh, I think there's a recording of you typing. Brian's got it. Yeah, that Russian recorded it with Rearings.
- [50:51]
Adam Carolla
Left turn.
- [50:54]
Bald Brian
Wait, t's out of. Got a yes.
- [50:56]
Adam Carolla
Turn. Air. O o o. Delete, delete. So, yeah, anyway, in the book I had mentioned, I don't know, I think we're talking about animals and Great Danes and my whole take on pets or dogs is anything that's big enough to rape you and you don't get a say in it is probably not a great thing to have around the house. Like, anytime that thing says, you know what, I'm gonna butt fuck you, and no matter what, you can't get out of it. Too big a dog at that point. Too big you really need. You need a dog that you. Whose ass you can kick if push comes to shove. And Great Dane not good for that. This guy was fucking his dog.
- [51:47]
Bald Brian
Yes, yes. So if you're walking through the pound looking for a pet, you should ask yourself, if it came down to it, who's raping who?
- [51:56]
Adam Carolla
Yeah, yeah. It's like that Pointer Sister song.
- [51:59]
Bald Brian
Exactly.
- [51:59]
Adam Carolla
Who's raping? Oh, zooming. Is it zooming?
- [52:02]
Bald Brian
Zooming.
- [52:02]
Adam Carolla
Sorry. Yeah, yeah. Well, it's why you don't have the old adult chimpanzee around the house. Because if the fucking thing could pull your face off and stab you in the eyeball with your own fingers, then probably not a great thing to have around the house. Right? Yeah. That's why you shouldn't own birds.
- [52:18]
Bald Brian
You know that feeling you have when you tell a small lie and it starts to spiral out of control and you just feel like, sick to your stomach and you know there's nothing you can do to fix it.
- [52:28]
Adam Carolla
Why? What dog have you been fucking?
- [52:31]
Bald Brian
His name's Rover.
- [52:32]
Adam Carolla
Wow.
- [52:33]
Bald Brian
And he's a Chihuahua. No, this has to do with a woman who started out with a small lie because she needed some time off. She just needed some time off because she was a little depressed. She was a teacher in Pennsylvania and it's just.
- [52:49]
Adam Carolla
Are we still fucking a Great Dane here?
- [52:51]
Bald Brian
We've moved on.
- [52:52]
Adam Carolla
Oh, we have.
- [52:52]
Bald Brian
Yeah.
- [52:53]
Adam Carolla
He was arrested.
- [52:55]
Bald Brian
He could. He is being investigated. Yes. For the Great Dane.
- [53:00]
Adam Carolla
Geez.
- [53:00]
Bald Brian
I will make sure to let you
- [53:02]
Adam Carolla
know what happens on the back of those guys. Windbreakers. You know what I mean? The elite unit. Yeah.
- [53:09]
Bald Brian
Anyway, sorry, let me just finish with this story quickly and then we'll get to. Will Angie, eat it. Sorry. I should have given you more of a Great Dane sex. By the way, that's also One of those jokes like there's a bomb on the plane that you maybe shouldn't make at the vet. If it was just a joke about having sex with your dog, maybe not.
- [53:27]
Adam Carolla
But look smart, naming your dog Christy Brinker.
- [53:30]
Bald Brian
Yeah, I had. I would clean up Christie Brinkley's poop.
- [53:34]
Adam Carolla
You know why I named. I was thinking about naming Molly Carroll o' Connor or Ned Beatty.
- [53:39]
Bald Brian
Yeah.
- [53:40]
Adam Carolla
So I wouldn't want to fuck it.
- [53:42]
Bald Brian
Oh, that's a good idea. Yeah. Charles Durning.
- [53:44]
Adam Carolla
Here's my dog at Asner. Charles Darning.
- [53:50]
Bald Brian
Charles Darning and Ned Beatty were essentially like the same Charles did. Are those both alive?
- [53:55]
Adam Carolla
Did you let John Goodman out to shit, honey? Yeah. Because you don't want to name it after Sports Illustrated model. You might get drunk and try to fuck it.
- [54:04]
Bald Brian
Yeah, it's a good point. Like Harry Connick Jr's wife, whatever her name is.
- [54:09]
Adam Carolla
Yeah, you don't want to do that. Or just Harry Connick Jr. Even. That's right, Brad.
- [54:13]
Bald Brian
He's pretty.
- [54:13]
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Sorry. Where were. Charles Journey is still alive.
- [54:17]
Bald Brian
Still alive, right. I think he just died on Rescue Me. Okay, so he's such a good actor, but I feel like he and Ned Beatty are probably up for all of the same jobs. They must hate each other.
- [54:28]
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
- [54:30]
Bald Brian
It's fucking Ned in the waiting room. I'm not even going in there. You know what I mean?
- [54:37]
Adam Carolla
Still alive, too.
- [54:37]
Bald Brian
That's what I'm saying.
- [54:39]
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
- [54:40]
Bald Brian
And not the dog, the actor. Okay, so. So quickly. Okay, so this woman told a small lie because she was. She said she wasn't feasty, said she was sick, she didn't want to go to school. Now, this is not just any teacher. She's been nominated three times to be the Teacher of the Year in Pennsylvania. But now she's been arrested and charged. Here's why. This lie started spiraling until pretty soon she was telling people she had inoperable brain cancer. Yeah. And then the Make a Wish foundation got involved.
- [55:09]
Adam Carolla
That lies worked out for me so well so far. I never have looked at one of those pet scans, have we?
- [55:15]
Bald Brian
You might need to bring in one of those scans.
- [55:17]
Adam Carolla
They won't be read by social computers. Guys, I'm sorry,
- [55:22]
Bald Brian
really.
- [55:23]
Adam Carolla
We got a Mac here. Just bring it in. So I thought Make a Wish was for kids. Yes.
- [55:30]
Bald Brian
I think what happened was some of her co workers and community members started to feel so bad that they submitted a letter to Make a Wish on behalf of the school district to send her and her family to do something special. So maybe her kid.
- [55:44]
Adam Carolla
I started Ornada in 2013 and we make bike apparel. The best part of Shopify for me is our ability to run the business as essentially non technical people. We're able to admin everything on the back end, front end and sell things online easily. If Shopify were a bike accessory, I think it would actually be the bicycle. It's the thing that you do the thing on. We run the business on Shopify. Start your free trial on shopify.com it's
- [56:13]
Bald Brian
so they ended up going, how much
- [56:15]
Adam Carolla
do you like, how much do you enjoy Epcot Center? When your brain is being eaten by tumor, you have months to live.
- [56:22]
Bald Brian
When you know it's not and you know you've lied and then somehow the jig is gonna be up.
- [56:27]
Adam Carolla
Right. Okay.
- [56:28]
Bald Brian
Either way, it's not that fun.
- [56:30]
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
- [56:31]
Bald Brian
Literally dying to go to Disneyland.
- [56:33]
Adam Carolla
Well, you know, kids don't really get a sense over that, but the adults, like, you know what I mean? Like what are you on the fucking log jammer going, this is awesome.
- [56:44]
Bald Brian
Doesn't seem at all amusing.
- [56:45]
Adam Carolla
No.
- [56:46]
Bald Brian
Even healthy. That doesn't sound amusing at all.
- [56:49]
Adam Carolla
No. All the adult make a wish things should involve booze.
- [56:53]
Bald Brian
What would yours be?
- [56:54]
Adam Carolla
You know, I'll go to Puerto Rico and tour a rum factory.
- [56:59]
Bald Brian
That's it.
- [57:00]
Adam Carolla
Why not?
- [57:01]
Alonzo Bowden
Why not?
- [57:02]
Adam Carolla
Do you know the difference between the dark stuff and the clear stuff? Wiseacre. There's only one way to find out.
- [57:07]
Bald Brian
I'd like to find out.
- [57:09]
Adam Carolla
Yeah, it'd be hard if you're lying about it. Cause occasionally they stop dying to try some rum. Yeah.
- [57:13]
Bald Brian
Literally. Yeah, I'm dying to get a pony.
- [57:16]
Adam Carolla
Okay, so this woman is Ron Rico one dude or is that two dudes?
- [57:22]
Bald Brian
Ron Enrico, I wouldn't mind a tequila tasting, you know what I mean? Like, is it really. Is patron really that much better?
- [57:30]
Adam Carolla
Let's find whatever going hanging out in the fucking haunted mansion. It's not going to make you feel any better. Let's get some booze involved here.
- [57:36]
Bald Brian
I would fake a brain tumor to get out of going to an amusement park.
- [57:39]
Adam Carolla
Thank you.
- [57:40]
Bald Brian
Anyway, she's been charged with 12 felony counts of forgery and was released on $10,000 bond.
- [57:46]
Adam Carolla
Good times.
- [57:47]
Bald Brian
That wraps up this part of the news.
- [57:49]
Teresa Strasser
All right.
- [57:50]
Adam Carolla
Nice job. There's coming up. If you don't listen, you're an anti Semite. We're going to do a little will Angie eat it? I believe. And second, which is a carryover from the old radio show. I love food. And Angie was nice enough to bring me a sack of Rainier cherries, which are these super plump, meaty cherries, like cherries on creatine. I mean, just the fucking greatest stuff on the planet. It's the cherries that have the little gold or yellow sort of running through them like a, I don't know, calico cat or something. And I just bit on that thing. I said, this is the. The best thing I've ever fucking tasted in my life. And then of course, I had to check with Angie, who has a very. I call her Morris. A cat wasn't as finicky as Angie is. And then she announced that this is something I thought was mathematically impossible. I understand that some people don't like mushrooms on their pizza or that kind of stuff, but a Rainier cherry. No, no thanks. Which I just realized she's doing to piss me off now. Her blacklisted food list is very varied. Rainier cherries, corn on the cob, almond fuckin Joy pumpkin pie. She just wanted to get fired at that point. French toast, fried plantains, which I agree is like, all right, maybe it's a little exotic, but it's fucking awesome when you get the Cuban food. Fried bananas. What's exotic about that? It's delightful. It's got a word in it that maybe confused Angie or something. Someone should have called it fried bananas. That's plant in the name. Sounds healthy.
- [59:22]
Bald Brian
I like bananas.
- [59:23]
Adam Carolla
That's.
- [59:23]
Bald Brian
Well, that's a big bunny.
- [59:24]
Adam Carolla
And they like fried things. See, you can't predict.
- [59:27]
Bald Brian
Like, by the way, is this one of those. I like avocados, but not guacamole.
- [59:31]
Adam Carolla
Yeah, this is. This is what they do. I knew I had one guy said he liked cheese, but not melted cheese, you know, like, you just wanted to backhand that.
- [59:38]
Bald Brian
Oh, I like banana flavored stuff. Yeah, bananas.
- [59:41]
Adam Carolla
And there's a lot of like, I like nuts, but I don't like nuts in my cookies like people are. I don't think they have that in other countries, do they? Bunch of people whining about what they're eating. All right, shall we do. Let me do a quick. I know you have an intro. Let me give a quick shout out to one of our newest sponsors here, which is Stitcher. Stitcher is what you call an app, and Stitcher enables you to hear this show for free, by the way. Downloaded, waiting for you every morning or whenever on your Android or your Palm Pre or your smartphone. Any phone, any smartphone. This show will be waiting for you no longer. Do you have to go to the computer and then get the jumper cable on There and hook it up and download it. Nope. You can listen to the Adam Carolla show on Stitcher. And by the way, you can hear exclusive extra content. We're doing extra content after the show where I go on a vitriolic rant. So not only that, by the way, but they got themselves little contest. Every week, Stitcher will draw the name of one of the listeners to win their choice of the iPhone 4.0, by the way, the Android or the Palm Pre. Just email to AdamStitcher.com for a chance to win. And the winner is going to be announced right here on Monday.
- [61:03]
Bald Brian
So I just send an email to
- [61:07]
Adam Carolla
stitcheradamcarolla.com youm send an email to Adam stitcher.com and we're going to give away one of these things every single week, and we'll announce the winner on the Adam Carolla show.
- [61:19]
Bald Brian
It's pretty good. It'd be nice to win, even. Even though those iPhones have a little trouble, I still wouldn't mind one.
- [61:25]
Adam Carolla
Well, evidently they've fixed it or they've given you a jacket now or whatever it is. Either way, you don't need the iPhone. You can get the Android or the Palm. Pretty. You can get it for free and get it from Stitcher. And the app is free.
- [61:37]
Bald Brian
Yeah. Which is nice. I. I have. I have a couple other apps for radio shows I love, and they were all, you know, a couple bucks. This one's free.
- [61:46]
Adam Carolla
This is free at Stitcher. All right. So will Angie eat it? Let's find out. Oh, chokes down blueberries. Won't eat a carrot or a peach. Her mouth's never seen anything but grilled cheese. No one's as picky as Angie. Will Angie eat it? Rich banks, as timely as ever. Hungry like the wolf. All right, Angie, you were lucky we're separated by glass. Otherwise, I would throw an ashtray at you because I always get super angry when I find out what Angie won't eat. All right, let's gamble on it. Here we go. All right, we got five foods plus a tiebreaker. Okay. Scallops wrapped in bacon. Will Angie eat it? I say that's two things.
- [62:47]
Bald Brian
Oh, right. Picky eaters never like to combine elements.
- [62:50]
Adam Carolla
Yeah, I'll eat peanut butter or jelly, but I won't. Yeah. Brian, what do you say? I fucking love scallops. There's no way she eats that.
- [63:02]
Alonzo Bowden
No way.
- [63:02]
Adam Carolla
Texture wise. Texture wise. Too weird.
- [63:04]
Bald Brian
Here's what I say. I agree with you, with both of you. However, it seems like bacon is one of those Things that transcends ordinary rules of food. Bacon is good in chocolate. Bacon is good on anything. I see her eating that, especially after a couple drinks.
- [63:19]
Adam Carolla
It's good on chocolate.
- [63:20]
Bald Brian
Yeah. They make bacon chocolate bars. Have you had this?
- [63:23]
Adam Carolla
How fucking pregnant do you have to be?
- [63:25]
Bald Brian
Two trimesters.
- [63:26]
Adam Carolla
Wow. Okay, so Brian says no. I then do the thing where why would this be on there? Because it sounds a little whatever. I say no. Brian says no. T says yes, answer, please. I will absolutely eat that. Wild inconsistencies anger me even more. Wild fluctuations. Thought the bacon was a McGuffin. All right. T goes up 1 0. Which Angie willing to eat, by the way. Next? Zucchini. Will Angie eat zucchini?
- [64:01]
Bald Brian
Hold on. Are we talking marinated raw?
- [64:04]
Adam Carolla
Mmm. I don't think there's any form she'll eat it in. I'm gonna go. No. It's way, by the way. That's the thing about Angie is it doesn't have to be exotic. You know what I mean? It could just be nothing. And she'll be offended by it.
- [64:21]
Bald Brian
Right. Sometimes she doesn't like the texture of things. You have to count that.
- [64:26]
Adam Carolla
I'm gonna go with. And also, it has, you know, B vitamins in it. You know, she doesn't eat things with vitamins normally. It's healthy. Yeah. Alright, I'm gonna go. No. Well, it's easier to imagine Angie saying, I love zucchini in all its forms or hate zucchini in all its forms. I say she will not. She hates it.
- [64:42]
Bald Brian
I will agree.
- [64:43]
Adam Carolla
All right. We all say, hate zucchini. It's a new thing.
- [64:46]
Bald Brian
But I love zucchini.
- [64:48]
Adam Carolla
It's a new thing.
- [64:49]
Bald Brian
Now let me guess. You grill it. Yeah. Yeah.
- [64:52]
Adam Carolla
Okay. It's not bad when you grill it, man. What happened? What do you mean? It's a new thing? I never liked it before and then I tried it again and I liked it.
- [64:58]
Bald Brian
Do you think you could try Rainier cherries again and maybe you'd like.
- [65:01]
Adam Carolla
Absolutely not. There should. There is a. A scroll that if it fell down, would roll to Tempe, Arizona. Of that you could probably retry that. You put on your no fly. I try stuff all the time.
- [65:14]
Bald Brian
I retry stuff all the time.
- [65:15]
Adam Carolla
This is the first one in a long time. Really? Yeah. Okay. All right, so we're over two T's. Teresa's got one. Okay, one and one. Here we go. All right, next up, grits. Will Angie eat grits? No. I'm so confused now. I'm demoralized by all these games no compass. I can't get anything right. The only thing that makes me more angry than Angie not actually eating is me not being able to dial it in to win this game.
- [65:49]
Bald Brian
Right.
- [65:49]
Adam Carolla
Lose, lose it is. She hates Rainier cherries and victories for the ace man. Two things she hates.
- [65:57]
Bald Brian
Well, okay, so people who like grits are generally people who grew up eating grits. And Angie's, like, from Chicago area, but she did live in the south,
- [66:12]
Adam Carolla
and grits you can doctor I mean, tons of butter and tons of, like, you know, brown sugar or whatever.
- [66:17]
Bald Brian
I mean, the only problem I'm having is there they are mushy, and sometimes she doesn't like to mush, but I'm leaning towards she will eat.
- [66:24]
Adam Carolla
You say will eat. I say no, but what the hell do I know? I say no just to try to climb back into the game. You got this one, right? I will not. Yeah. Yes. All right, so we all 1 for 3 now. All tied up. Uh oh. Heading into the championship rounds of Will Angie eat it? Here we go. Grilled peppers. Will Angie eat grilled peppers? Man, this is Is tough because she just admitted that she liked to throw the zucchini on the grill. Angie, you must have grown up with an abundance of food, right? I mean, there was. There was food in your house. Your mom cooked. Yeah, whatever we wanted.
- [67:03]
Bald Brian
Yeah.
- [67:04]
Adam Carolla
You see what happens? See how you ruin your kids with that? Whatever we wanted. Did your mom have, like, the candy drawer? Oh, tons of sweets in our house. Hostess candy.
- [67:13]
Bald Brian
What kind of cereal? Say, like, on a Saturday morning?
- [67:15]
Teresa Strasser
Morning.
- [67:16]
Adam Carolla
I didn't really like cereal. Oh, my God.
- [67:20]
Bald Brian
You could have had Fruit Loops or Canto.
- [67:22]
Adam Carolla
I like Cheerios. That's about it. Cheerios. You said that like your English, by the way. You went Cheerio.
- [67:29]
Bald Brian
That's what you eat if you have to. That's not what you choose.
- [67:32]
Adam Carolla
She fancied a Cheerio. Yeah. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. It just my disdain for Angie and her palate grow deeper.
- [67:41]
Bald Brian
And peppers. I mean, you're just gonna throw all peppers in? Personally, I find green peppers disgusting and yellow and red peppers edible.
- [67:49]
Adam Carolla
Yeah, they're a lot better. They're not as pungent. Angie, your mom cooked dinner every night. Yes. You had, like, you know, steak. Steak with spaghetti, pork chops, chicken.
- [67:58]
Bald Brian
And Haskell came over and gave you compliments?
- [68:01]
Adam Carolla
My mom and my dad. Kill him. What's your mom do? She's retired now, but she worked for a snack food company. I'm gonna help my mom.
- [68:12]
Bald Brian
What kind of snacks did they make?
- [68:14]
Adam Carolla
Like cupcakes. And brownies and delicious treats. Oh, that's what happens. Wow. You see, that's the whole thing. I. I grew up like Jodie Foster in that movie where she was a feral child.
- [68:24]
Bald Brian
Nell.
- [68:25]
Adam Carolla
Nell. I grew up like Nell, eating bark and grub. And I'm so excited of anything. That's what it is. You were ruined by your family, who loved you too much. I'll be sure to tell.
- [68:35]
Bald Brian
When you say ruined, you mean because she's, like, fit and thin.
- [68:38]
Adam Carolla
Well, that's a. That's a metabolism.
- [68:40]
Bald Brian
She could take or leave crappy food.
- [68:41]
Adam Carolla
Yeah, that's what happened. All the weird issues.
- [68:44]
Bald Brian
I think we're ruined.
- [68:45]
Adam Carolla
We were ruined.
- [68:46]
Bald Brian
Yeah.
- [68:47]
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Okay. All right. Roasted peppers. I'm gonna say yes because of the retrying of things and the grilling of the. Of the said zucchini. The aforementioned zucchini, key ingredient in her beloved Italian beef and such. Chicagoland treats. The peppers. So I'm thinking maybe yes, but too much flavor. I say no. Okay.
- [69:12]
Bald Brian
Oh, my God, this is tough. I'm gonna have to say yes.
- [69:15]
Adam Carolla
Two yeses. Ball. Bryant says no. He could take the lead here. I love peppers, but not on my beefs. Really?
- [69:24]
Bald Brian
Because that was why I said yes, because we had the beef sandwiches yesterday, and I noticed they had peppers, and you liked them. You picked them off.
- [69:30]
Adam Carolla
I didn't have him on there.
- [69:31]
Teresa Strasser
Yeah.
- [69:32]
Bald Brian
Oh, my God.
- [69:33]
Adam Carolla
Shocking. All right, so now T and I have two. Brian has one, and we head into the last question.
- [69:41]
Bald Brian
Yeah.
- [69:42]
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Will Angie eat it? Here we go. Ready? Pad Thai. Will Angie eat pad Thai?
- [69:50]
Alonzo Bowden
I never.
- [69:50]
Adam Carolla
I never pronounce the D in that. I was going to say pad Thai. I've never eaten it. I don't know how to say it had Thai.
- [69:58]
Bald Brian
So delicious.
- [69:59]
Adam Carolla
Yeah, it's all right. This is. This is Thai food, right?
- [70:07]
Bald Brian
There are a lot of elements. There are usually peanuts.
- [70:10]
Adam Carolla
It's sweet.
- [70:10]
Bald Brian
And tofu chicken.
- [70:12]
Adam Carolla
It's like glaze. Kids like it. You know, that's one way, one yardstick to measure Angie's mouth. I'm gonna say. I'm gonna say no.
- [70:24]
Bald Brian
What are you saying?
- [70:25]
Adam Carolla
It doesn't really matter if you disagree. If you disagree with Adam.
- [70:28]
Bald Brian
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, I'll take the other one. I'll say yes, just so we can end this.
- [70:31]
Adam Carolla
You say yes, I say no. The answer, Neil. Angie, eat it. Adam's the winner. Yeah.
- [70:37]
Bald Brian
I will not eat it. There's a lot going on.
- [70:41]
Adam Carolla
There's too many, not too much going on.
- [70:44]
Bald Brian
Tastes a little wormy. This is why it's great. Because it's like tastes. Oh.
- [70:48]
Adam Carolla
See, it's the texture. It's wormy. The noodles, it's whatever kid would say. Whatever a fat kid would say tastes wormy. Will Angie eat? Never makes sense. Angie won't eat delicious food. Unless it's beer. Then all is clear. No one does. Picky ass, Angie. All right, this is a nice, clean segue into our next topic. Thus our next guest. Yes, there's evidently some sort of food truck war going on out here in the Southland. Food truck thing is taking off. I guess the texting and the tweeting and the instant messaging and all that kind of stuff has led to this, right?
- [71:38]
Bald Brian
Yeah. It's a perfect marriage because if you follow one of your food trucks on Twitter, they say, oh, we're at the corner of Wilshire and Western. And then you know where they are and you go right there.
- [71:50]
Adam Carolla
Right?
- [71:50]
Bald Brian
And it's a beautiful thing.
- [71:51]
Adam Carolla
And now it's all this high end stuff too. It's like boutique stuff. It used to just be breakfast burrito, chimichanga. The roach coach. Roach coach. The stuff I ended up used to eat off of when it was on a construction site. The one I kind of miss is the weird one. That was the mini one. It had the regular front cab. It was like a pickup truck. Almost like your Chevy regular front cab. But the back had that diamond plated sort of aluminum. And the guy flipped the thing up and it was not. There wasn't a. Wasn't there were snacks on it. Yeah, it was like a mobile vending machine. No one inside. It was more of a snack truck. Yeah, there wasn't a chick back there sweating over a grill.
- [72:30]
Bald Brian
Can I just tell you guys, I went over the weekend to this beer and wine store in Silver Lake and they had one of these high end French fry food trucks parked outside and they had pairings. Beer and fry pairings.
- [72:42]
Adam Carolla
Hold on. Yay. Hey, what's happening? Sorry for being a dick, but you know how much, how long we're gonna talk about this Before I was just
- [72:55]
Bald Brian
stalling until they came back.
- [72:57]
Adam Carolla
We're all just stalling. Sorry. Let me, let me introduce our guests. We have. I'm guessing Colleen Craig is closest to. To me. Yes.
- [73:07]
Teresa Strasser
Not exactly.
- [73:08]
Bald Brian
This is Natasha. She runs the Cool House ice cream truck.
- [73:11]
Adam Carolla
Oh. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm looking at my piece of paper. You're looking at. You're looking at the screen. Sorry. But this is Matt Geller. Yeah. Okay, Matt. You don't sound excited about being Matt Geller.
- [73:25]
Bald Brian
What's Wrong with being Matt Geller.
- [73:27]
Adam Carolla
Lots of fighting. You could do worse than being Matt Geller. Yeah. So what's going on with the food truck wars here? Well, the city of Los Angeles is well through. Tom LaBonge is trying to limit them on Wilshire Boulevard, but in doing so, it seems like this little problem that's on Wilshire, he's trying to turn it into a citywide problem. So it's frustrating because it's a small. We've got two blocks. And he's saying, well, in order to deal with these two blocks, we want to make trucks stop trucks from parking at parking meters all over the entire city of Los Angeles. What is his argument? Well, the argument in the beginning was, oh, they're taking up too much parking. Now that we've had some recent developments, it doesn't seem like it's a real parking issue. The museum square that houses the restaurants on Wilshire Boulevard, they've decided that they're going to take their employees cars and park all up and down Wilshire and block them all day. Interesting. So now it's not a parking issue.
- [74:25]
Bald Brian
The trucks are taking business from the restaurants.
- [74:28]
Adam Carolla
Right. And the restaurants are their tenants. And if they lose those tenants and another tenant comes in, wants to pay less rent, you know, it's tough for the commercial developer. Sure. So it's the kind of thing where I know the area you're talking about because it's right where we used to work. But wherever you work, you get out for lunch on a weekday at 1pm and you go walking out in the street, you think you're going to go across the street. Street needed calendars. Except for there's a great big Thai barbecue truck sitting in between you and calendars. And the way your brain works is why should I risk crossing the street when I get me some Thai barbecue right here? And so you stop and you eat there. And if you're the guy who owns the restaurant, you're pissed off because essentially a rolling food block got in between. You serves calendars. Right. For by the way, these guys started off the whole passion for fruit iced tea thing in this fucking town. So I hope they die a very slow death. It's come back to bite them. Yeah. And they don't have Diet Coke. They have Diet Pepsi over there. So they get what they deserve. But this feels to you like this is the city getting involved with something the city doesn't need to get involved in. Do they need to get involved with competition? Do they need to take one side over the other? I Mean, I think it sets a bad press. Well, the thing about this city that drives me absolutely fucking insane, whether it's Tom LaBonge, who's obviously just. He's a sack of wind that doesn't know what the fuck he's talking about. I mean, they're all LaBonge, Villaragoza. I mean, they all have major personality disorders. I mean, I've talked to these guys. I'll tell you, there's one thing I am. I am a student of people. And if you meet Villaragosa or you meet Tom LaBonge, you realize there's a personality disorder. Matt is nodding feverishly and giving the thumbs up right now. Yeah, I think. And, yes, they don't do anything. And obviously, if they were really interested in about doing anything. When I drive home, I drive down Forest Lawn, There are a thousand illegals selling flowers there, which I'm sure is undercutting the actual stores that sell flowers that are all around the area, because it's on the way to Forest Lawn, the cemetery. These guys have huge piles of trash along that street. There's boxes everywhere. There's fucking garbage everywhere. There's graffiti everywhere. And Tom LaBonge and Vera Gosev decided to put cops there, not to bust the illegals that are selling the flowers illegally, but to bust soccer moms who are driving their minivans four miles an hour too fast down that boulevard. So obviously, we have no fucking priorities in this city. And by the way, we're not interested. I mean, I wish they'd just go, look, we're not interested. We're interested in generating money. That's why we're here. They have to pretend like they're interested in doing what's right. They have no fucking clue what's right, and they have no interest in that either.
- [77:15]
Bald Brian
Well, why should Angelenos care about this?
- [77:18]
Adam Carolla
Well, anything that limits choice. I mean, if someone's gonna tell me from the city where I can and can't eat right, then I would have a choice.
- [77:27]
Bald Brian
Devil's advocate, though, for all the employees working in all the restaurants, are they in any kind of jeopardy?
- [77:32]
Teresa Strasser
Well, you know, we all have the right to compete. And I think when a new prototype comes into the marketplace, and this really is different, and it's not just about, you know, maybe not wanting to cross the street, but also just there's new
- [77:43]
Adam Carolla
things coming every day that you want to try.
- [77:45]
Teresa Strasser
And I think that ultimately it's a lot of fear and maybe sometimes insecurity that creates. Wanting to just push it away. But I think once you just accept it as a thing and the marketplace,
- [77:56]
Adam Carolla
I hope that it also pushes maybe
- [77:57]
Teresa Strasser
restaurants to do cooler things or maybe
- [77:59]
Adam Carolla
be more innovative with their menu or
- [78:01]
Teresa Strasser
I think ultimately something, a better product will come out of all this competition.
- [78:05]
Adam Carolla
Well, I do. It's. In a way, it's a lot like car companies saying, well, we should put an embargo on Japanese cars coming into this country because we're going to lose a whole bunch of business for the big. For Chrysler, GM and the big three are going to lose it. And it's more like, well, no, you have to step up your game and start making a better product. And in a way, the competition creates that. Although this is different in the sense that when the person leased the real estate to put whatever restaurant they happen to put again, I don't care if calendars goes under because of that God fucking forsaken fucking tea that tastes like someone put potpourri in a gym sock and dipped it into hose water. But either way, if I leased a restaurant with the understanding that there'd be nothing with food on it sliding in between the sidewalk and the hungry people, that is what I would have gone. That would have been my understanding going into it. And this is like, it's one of those sort of technology or fads have caused a sort of unforeseen issue here, but it's still an issue. And it's one of these things where I do think you guys should have the right to. To do what you want. But if I do put myself in the position of someone who managed one of these restaurants, I'd be. I'd be pissed if I saw a wagon train, a few guys in front of my restaurant.
- [79:25]
Bald Brian
Natasha's gonna have a lower overhead. Right. So she can compete. But I agree it's a free market and if her product's better and cheaper, she should be allowed to sell. By the way, what do you sell on that?
- [79:34]
Teresa Strasser
So it's made to order ice cream sandwiches.
- [79:36]
Adam Carolla
Oh, really?
- [79:37]
Teresa Strasser
Yes. And they're sort of. They're architecturally themed. They're named after local architects.
- [79:42]
Adam Carolla
So we're all about, you know, reaching
- [79:43]
Teresa Strasser
out to the design community.
- [79:44]
Adam Carolla
Because I actually was an architect before I did this.
- [79:47]
Bald Brian
So you have like the Frank Lloyd Wright witch.
- [79:49]
Teresa Strasser
We have a Frank Lloyd White, which is white chocolate. We have Mies Vanilla Row, Frank Berry.
- [79:55]
Adam Carolla
Yeah, See, the problem with this is very limited because.
- [79:58]
Bald Brian
Wow, that's it. Once you're done with Van der Rohe and Franklin. Yeah, Geary, you're done, right?
- [80:04]
Adam Carolla
Yeah, Geary. And Wright are the only two sandwiches I would eat.
- [80:06]
Bald Brian
What about iron?
- [80:08]
Adam Carolla
I am peanut butter.
- [80:09]
Bald Brian
Oh, good.
- [80:09]
Adam Carolla
But you know, sometimes you run into problems.
- [80:11]
Teresa Strasser
Frank doesn't eat dairy, it turns out,
- [80:13]
Adam Carolla
so he couldn't even have his. By the way, I can see you mistakenly pulling on to one of construction sites I used to work on. What the.
- [80:20]
Bald Brian
I am.
- [80:21]
Adam Carolla
They got chip sandwich named after communist. Let's get her. I want a goddamn breakfast burrito, bitch. Not some faggoty sandwich with ice cream stuffed in it named after some dead guy made the Sears Tower. Anyway, where was I?
- [80:34]
Bald Brian
Talking about the imp.
- [80:35]
Adam Carolla
Oh, yeah, yeah. So you think, what kind of cookies?
- [80:39]
Bald Brian
Are there anything special?
- [80:40]
Teresa Strasser
The cookies are more classic. There's, you know, it's snickerdoodle, chocolate, chocolate chips. More of the ice creams that are a little crazier. Like we have a candied bacon and we have balsamic fig with mascarbon. You know, I brought some samples.
- [80:51]
Adam Carolla
Wow.
- [80:52]
Bald Brian
And what do you charge for these?
- [80:53]
Teresa Strasser
$4 a sandwich. And they come in an edible packaging.
- [80:57]
Adam Carolla
Oh, really?
- [80:57]
Bald Brian
That rice paper stuff?
- [80:59]
Adam Carolla
Exactly.
- [80:59]
Bald Brian
I love that.
- [81:00]
Adam Carolla
But when someone sees you eating it through the package, they go, how stoned or lazy? It's that motherfucker. Like, wow.
- [81:09]
Bald Brian
I'm just thinking if I was throwing a party, like a late night thing or even a reception, I would want your truck to pull up.
- [81:15]
Adam Carolla
We would too. So you're saying the powers that be labange specifically has put some sort of no fly zone on you guys and. And you think it's more of a conspiracy. Not about traffic, but more about these other folks putting pressure on him who leased these restaurant spaces? I think, yeah, I mean, I think. I'm not going to say conspiracy. I mean, he's put a motion through. It's going to be in the transportation Committee sometime in August and they're going to discuss things. I think the way he worded the motion, it was, let's investigate all these things about food trucks and you should come back with recommendations to make parking and parking meters illegal. Right. And I, you know, I said to him, I said, you know, what's the point of doing that? Let's get the investigation first and then figure out some of the solutions. He seems like he has personality disorder, does he not? You know, when you meet him, something seems off.
- [82:03]
Bald Brian
Yeah. I've gone to community meetings where he's speaking, and right now I'm just thinking, all I want is the toilet that's been sitting on fucking Hoover street for a month removed.
- [82:13]
Adam Carolla
Right.
- [82:13]
Bald Brian
I've called the city three Times, and it's filling with trash. I don't care about the food truck.
- [82:18]
Adam Carolla
No, that's the whole thing about the city. They focus on a bunch of shit that we don't give a shit about. They won't focus on the graffiti and the trash.
- [82:25]
Bald Brian
Well, you must get a permit that you have to pay the city for, right?
- [82:28]
Teresa Strasser
Yeah, it's, you know, the county permit. There's.
- [82:31]
Adam Carolla
We're permitted all over the place.
- [82:32]
Teresa Strasser
There's Pasadena, there's Santa Monica. We've been San Gabriel. I mean, it's.
- [82:37]
Adam Carolla
I can't believe the city wanted money from you to conduct your business. This is totally insane. And so unlike them. Yeah. As it pertains to parking, though, is like the. I frequented these food trucks before. They're fantastic. Isn't the parking tickets, like, just sort of a cost of doing business? I see food truck sort of just willingly handing over the parking tickets and, well, thank you. We'll pay this. It's sort of just the cost of doing business, Right? Yeah. And they've probably been generating, I mean, you know, 1,000 bucks a day just off Wilshire alone, which obviously the city needs. But it is funny that to hear Le Barn say, oh, this is. This is such an issue. They're staying longer than they're supposed to, when the parking there was two hours until he got it changed to one hour and then complained that the trucks were staying too long. So the city is outwardly going out and taking the side of these business developers.
- [83:27]
Bald Brian
Why? Because they contribute.
- [83:29]
Adam Carolla
Well, I mean, LaBonge ran unopposed last time. He still had a pretty good chunk of cash coming in from real estate developers. I mean, can I. Can I just say this? Whether it's whoever, labonge, Villara, Gosa, any of these other fucking nut job windbags who just are in your pockets to get reelected, can I say this? When it comes to the part where it's time to vote on the next guy, can all Los Angelenos and even Californians just stop and look around a little bit? Take a look at the school systems, take a look at the overpasses with all the graffiti and the barbed wire everywhere. Take a look at their taxes. Just take a look at all the facets of our culture and government and just ask yourself a pretty simple question. Better or worse, how we doing? Which way's the fucking arrow pointing? And then vote these cocksuckers out, please. They're doing a horrible job. Like, what the fuck would you give labonge or Villa Retardo? And I'm allowed To call them that. Because Beaver Ghost is not even his real name. His name's Tony Velar. He's a fucking narcissist. He has a personality disorder. He is.
- [84:37]
Teresa Strasser
He doesn't like ice cream.
- [84:40]
Adam Carolla
Ice cream? We were at a Sierra Club event and he.
- [84:43]
Teresa Strasser
He really.
- [84:45]
Adam Carolla
Oh, listen, he'd like it just fine if he found out there was an ice cream union. I'll tell you how to get him an ice cream. Have some ice cream. Have some. Head of the ice cream union. Tell them we have thousands of voters that'll go your way if you like ice cream. And he'd fucking take pictures with a Haagen Dawson.
- [85:00]
Bald Brian
Or put it in a reporter's panties.
- [85:01]
Adam Carolla
There you go. That's how you get them into it. Obviously, these guys are doing a fucking horrible job running this city. Please, let's vote them out and replace them with a potted plant. It would be a nice upgrade. Well, every even membered, even numbered district is up for reelection next. Good. Vote these fucking idiots out. Laban. Just horrible. I don't know what he does, but he's horrible at it. Why? I live in the city that he governs over. It's horrible. And fucking Vi Ricardo does a horrible job because this city is the report card. No, I was like, hey, what kind of job is he doing? What kind of. What do you mean, what kind of job? Driving a circle around this fucking dump. And then you tell me, thank you.
- [85:48]
Bald Brian
Thank you. I just took a poll with my eyeballs. And as it turns out, things aren't going so well because there's a. I can't get a toilet removed.
- [85:57]
Adam Carolla
LA's a piece from where people live and Viragosa is the fucking tip of the piece of shit spear. And guys like a bond need to be dumped. All these guys know what we're yelling about.
- [86:06]
Bald Brian
What are you asking people to do to help your food truck?
- [86:09]
Adam Carolla
Cause. Well, I mean, I'm starting with labonge and just saying work with us. I mean, we. There are. There were three big issues we were dealing with. We were dealing with, you know, an art walk. Art walk issue where there were just too many trucks. We put all the trucks in a lot, dealt with that issue. We were dealing with too much trash at First Fridays. You know, the association just hired four guys to work for five and a half hours, cleaned up all the trash, and now we've got Wilshire. But the problem is, what issue am I dealing with? Am I dealing with competition? I can't stop that. Or am I dealing with parking? So I'D like him to just sit down and work with us now from the people out there. We've been asking people to email using Twitter a lot. We've used Twitter to reach out, and they've gotten a lot of emails and a lot of calls. And that's why when labonge first took this on, he was a little bit more aggressive about it. And he pulled back really quickly because he got so many calls.
- [86:55]
Bald Brian
People are passionate about their food.
- [86:56]
Adam Carolla
I mean, you don't take food away from people. It's a visceral thing, right? How about my food?
- [87:00]
Teresa Strasser
And we're so aligned with so many. I mean, we've worked at so many corporations and also so many charities. And, you know, it really is like a mission of goodness in so many ways. And I think people just don't want
- [87:10]
Adam Carolla
that to be taken away. The one hour parking thing, by the way, is its own. Somebody should do a fucking documentary on this fucking scourge. Because it's one hour parking all up and down the sort of restaurant row, wherever you want to go in town. It's one hour parking, which means, and it's happened to me a million times, you say you're going to meet a guy at a restaurant for lunch, maybe it's business, maybe it's social. Somebody will inevitably be five or eight minutes earlier than the next guy. And so what happens is, and you'll never find a space right in front of the restaurant. So you park your car down the street, you get your one hour, you go into the Cuban joint and you sit there. Well, the buddy you're meeting is 10 minutes late. And you sit there. By the time he sits down and he orders and you order, and by the time the food gets there, you have this. Well, I have 13 minutes to finish this jerk chicken. Now, I can either try to wolf it all down now or I can tell them, like, hold on, I gotta go back out to the thing. But the car's 200 yards down the street. It's hot. It's like, do I wanna. We could finish. So the point is, is I need an hour and 15 minutes to eat lunch. Or an hour and a half. And that one hour thing, how many fucking people do they bust with that bullshit? And here's how you know these guys are fucking horrible fucking charlatan criminals. What is the only thing that this city does well, like in terms of efficiency? What is the one thing where they're fucking Johnny on the spot? You want to go down the dmv, get in line, you want to Go down to the Department of Building and Safety. Get in line. Bring your checkbook and your fucking knee pads because you're going to be sucking cock behind that counter, taking it in the ass. You want the toilet moved in front of your house in Koreatown? What is it that we're good at? I'll tell you the one thing the city does. Parking tickets. That's the one goddamn thing we're good at.
- [89:02]
Bald Brian
Why?
- [89:03]
Adam Carolla
Wonder why that is. Why is it we're so super, super fucking creatine loaded efficient when it comes to one goddamn aspect of running the city. But the schools, that's shit. City hall shit, graffiti shit, trash shit, illegals shit, everything shit except for the one fucking thing where they fucking get to bend you over and dry rape your ass. Parking tickets. It's the one fucking thing they're great at. Anyone ever just think about that simple little truth. What one fucking thing do they actually pull off that. And of course that involves removing money from your pocket. Yes. Because if it was anything else, you wouldn't give a shit. If it was the city, as the city normally runs with everything else and you were at that restaurant and your meter expired two minutes ago. You'd be like, fuck it man. I mean call 91 1. It's fucking busy. Ask a cop to come out to your house. He ain't. Here's an eight hour window. None of that shit works. Parking enforcement, Johnny fucking on the spot. Why Lola's excited fucking raping you.
- [90:12]
Bald Brian
What I'm hearing is that this is a war against not only free enterprise but ice cream. And I don't know if anyone can get behind that. I totally don't understand the other side of the story, to be fair, and we aren't hearing from them.
- [90:24]
Adam Carolla
No, I, I, I, I understand the part where everyone wants to make a living.
- [90:29]
Bald Brian
Yeah, I get it. I get Marie Callenders. You're paying a lot of money for your lease and you probably don't want her food truck there.
- [90:35]
Adam Carolla
And this is why. And this shit happens. I don't know why, but it reminds me me of I was pitching the other day one of my earlier sitcoms. AIDS Butler.
- [90:44]
Bald Brian
Oh yeah.
- [90:45]
Adam Carolla
And the viatical agreements or settlements. I know if you guys are hip to this, as an attorney, perhaps you've heard of this? Oh, I went to law school. I'm not a practicing attorney. We have two really good attorneys for the association. As someone who looks like an attorney, do I really I look like an attorney? You look, you look like a cool attorney. Yeah, you look like a TV attorney. Rock and roll attorney. Attorney.
- [91:07]
Bald Brian
Where did you go to school?
- [91:08]
Adam Carolla
Ucla.
- [91:10]
Bald Brian
It's a good school.
- [91:11]
Adam Carolla
I feel retardo went there. Oh, he went to west la. Come on. Oh, not accredited.
- [91:17]
Bald Brian
Not accredited.
- [91:17]
Adam Carolla
Well, no, he went to law school at west la. He went to. I think he went to undergraduate. Oh, I don't know, maybe. Well, wherever. I think he was at ucla, he was the leader of La Raza, the Race, by the way. It's called the race. It's a group called the Race. He was the. He led that at ucla. Either way. What's that?
- [91:37]
Bald Brian
AIDS Butler.
- [91:37]
Adam Carolla
AIDS Butler. Yeah. He didn't pass the bar four fucking times. That's how stupid that asshole is. Either way, AIDS Butler. So they had this agreement, these radical settlements and agreements that when people were getting AIDS and dropping dead, when it was a death sentence instead of a chronic disease, they were collecting the insurance policies of these guys. And it would work. It would work this way. Let's say you have full blown AIDS and it's 1989. Brian. Yeah, now we're talking. All right, And I'm a. Yeah, she's got Rick Roll. All right, now you want your money for. You have a life insurance policy, but you have no loved ones. You're gay, you've been shunned and you haven't shit out any kids. So you have a million dollar life insurance policy, but you can't spend it until you're dead. And then what good is it going to be then? And you have no kids to leave it to. You want to fucking get on a cruise and sail around the world? I am an elderly couple from Florida. I'm the whole couple. And you know what I say to you? Hey, that million dollar, your million dollar life insurance, I'll give you $500,000 for fine. You give it to me, I know you're going to be claimed by AIDS in a year. You take the 500 grand, you sail around the world and then you'll be dead in a year and I'll get your million dollar policy. Except for what AZT comes around and you take that $500,000 and there's a new breakthrough and there's a triple cocktail. And you buy that and the next thing you know, you're alive. And now I'm the old couple going, where's my million? Where's my. I gave you $500,000. I want it back.
- [93:28]
Bald Brian
Now he's outliving you and he.
- [93:31]
Adam Carolla
Either way, he ain't dying, right?
- [93:33]
Bald Brian
So what do you do with him?
- [93:34]
Adam Carolla
I just gave A Strange gay guy, $500,000 to go on a cruise and buy some act. Now I'm out 500 grand. Burned again. It's one of these things where it's like, on one hand, I understand if you're the elderly couple you gave the gu, you want a return. On the other hand, you can't blame the guy for not dying. It's. And something happened that we didn't know about, we didn't know about. Triple cocktail Nazt. That's what it is. The guy leased his space. He didn't know about the lunch truck phenomenon. You guys are the triple cocktail of restaurant row. I've been called worse. So now my feeling is sort of like, I don't know, now we're gonna have to let the chips fall where they may because now it's up to these restaurants to do better than you. But it's funny now that we've got this, that everybody's freaking out about restaurants. And I mean, you know, the failure rate in restaurants in Los Angeles is astronomical. I know. And you know, but now everybody's really concerned about it. Sure.
- [94:38]
Bald Brian
Well, I'm hungry about it. So how can I find Natasha if I'm looking for. How can I follow you on Twitter?
- [94:42]
Teresa Strasser
Right, so we're twitter.com coolhouse c-o o l h a u s or our website is eatcoolhouse.com and we have a calendar on there. Or you can just, you know, call us up at 2 in the morning and we'll do a personal stuff.
- [94:56]
Adam Carolla
Really? People have tried. What's the minimum? Like, what would be the minimum if you're doing a party, to come over and party with 50 guests for.
- [95:07]
Teresa Strasser
For minimum time.
- [95:08]
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Like, what's it going to get you over?
- [95:10]
Teresa Strasser
Yeah, I mean, it has to be about that.
- [95:11]
Adam Carolla
Size is about right.
- [95:12]
Teresa Strasser
And it's usually about an hour of service. But we stay places, you know, much, much longer than that. So we come, we do, you know, you can choose your cookies and your ice cream. We assemble it on site in the truck and hand it to you in your personalized edible wrapper, and everyone's pretty happy.
- [95:30]
Adam Carolla
I love the entrepreneurial spirit and I love the idea that the. Somehow the lunch truck has become cool.
- [95:35]
Bald Brian
Isn't that weird? I don't know how that happened, but I mean, here she was an architect and now she's got this super cool ice cream business of her own.
- [95:45]
Adam Carolla
I get a boner.
- [95:46]
Teresa Strasser
I think it's a dream job, personally.
- [95:48]
Adam Carolla
You meet so many people. It's awesome. Do you Have a horn by the way. Like what's your call? What's your ice cream? Because it can't be La Cucaracha.
- [95:55]
Teresa Strasser
Right, Right. We just. Well, we're just working on outfitting a sound system but generally, you know, we have a.
- [96:02]
Adam Carolla
That works. Yeah, that's more appropriate. Yeah.
- [96:06]
Teresa Strasser
We have an 80s, we call it the ghetto blaster. If we take that out and you know, play rap music or something.
- [96:11]
Adam Carolla
All right, so we've, we'll find out what happens. We know labange and Villa Vergose are douchebags. We don't count on anything from those two idiots. And I guess that's about it. I should tell people to thank you should hit our sponsor up one of our sponsors mangrate 100% American cast iron. Really turns your backyard into a steakhouse style grilling. Go to AdamCarolla.com also you can pre order my book. Go ahead and go to AdamCorla.com and hit the button that Sandy labored so hard on and we'll see if we come out in the Times best seller list. I think we can do it people. A guy who can't read coming out on the Times bestseller list. Who the knew. All right, I want to thank is anything I'm missing by the way? No. Oh yes. SoCalMFVA.com There you go. So let's. Yeah. SoCalMFBA.com and follow us on twitter@twitter.com SoCalMFVA and join the good fight. So until next time, this Adams call for Teresa Strasser, Natasha, Matt and ball Brian saying mahalo. And now Stitcher Radio presents your Adam Corolla Extra. Well today I'd like to tell you a couple cute stories about my kids. Actually, one's cute. My son, my daughter, evil temptress. I don't care if she listens to this. You know what you are Point is this. Over the weekend my dad came over. Actually my dad, my stepmom came over and they were visiting and my stepson, by the way, they're not going to listen to you at a certain point, I mean there's a window for teaching your kids shit. I guess it's like math and English and dogs and everything else. There's just a certain window and after that it gets painted shut. And I'm training my son to do as much cute shit as he possibly can do before he turns into an angry pimple faced teenager who hates me. The government struggles with his sexuality on almost daily basis, nay, hourly basis, but I've taught him to do this. I say, hello, Sonny, and he says hello to you. Papa. Papa. It's so Babs. I don't know why. So I just think of like Yenthal or something. But anyone who has a kid, don't have him call you dad. That's so lame, dad. It's just so. Or dad or Pops or. What's up? What's up, old man? Papa. By the way, Papa always sounds like I love you. You know what I mean? Like, no. You know, people go, I hate you, dad. But no one goes, I wish you'd die, old man. Papa doesn't work that way. So I taught him to say good morning to you, Papa. Very cute. My daughter, on the other hand, doesn't go for that crap. She calls me like chicken head or stinky head. I don't know why the head is so important to the kids, but it's always stinky head, muffin head, chicken head. Never knee or elbow or thigh or heel. It's always head. And by the way, it's funny when they try to insult you because you understand, all right? The effort to insult is there, but chicken head, you know, I've hung out with Kimmel long enough. Chicken head, that barely makes a scratch. But my. My daughter got a little freaked out because she was in the swimming pool over the weekend and Pops Corolla decided to head into the swimming pool and hang out with her. So there was my dad and my daughter in the swimming pool and she wasn't having the best of times. And then later on, I can say this with impunity because I know my dad doesn't listen. We were in the kitchen later on that afternoon and Natalia said, I don't like when grandpa goes into the pool. And we said, why? Why don't you like grandpa going into the pool? She said, and by the way, from the mouths of babes, but they really are the ultimate truth teller. She said, he has boobies. I thought. I did notice that my dad somehow sprung man boobies somewhere between the last time I saw him with a shirt off in high school and now he's managed to sprung man boobies. My dad's not one of those dudes who takes his shirt off at ball games. He's not even one of those guys who goes to a ball game. He's not one of those guys who owns a ball. But. And by the way, you know, the guys who have good builds, they take their shirt off backwards. Guys with guts take their shirt off from the front. Guys with the good builds do a one hand reach. Back and literally tear. They reach, they take their, they'll take their right hand, they'll reach it over their head as far as they can get it back to about the center of their spine, and then they literally rip their shirt off themselves, like unleash themselves versus the sheepish fat guy who does the two hand. All right, everyone look at my pasty white belly. My man boobies. But I walked out and was like, wow, Dad's got tits. Of course, I didn't say anything to him, but evidently my daughter did and took notice. So again, I guess today's lesson is if you ever want the truth, ask a kid. You want to know. Or like I said, either ask a kid or cut somebody off because you will get hook nose or fat head or bucket head or brillo head, whatever you are, will be the first thing that comes out of the other guy's mouth after you drive him into a drainage ditch. That was your Adam Carolla extra on Stitcher Radio. All right, that was Adam Cole Show 365 from 2010. Coming up next, we have Adam Carla Show 510. This one's from February of 2011, a couple months into the Alison Rosen era. Guest on this one is Lonzo Bowden. At first, I didn't think it was real. I woke up to this blinding light, and I was transported to another place. Pluto tv. Then I heard a voice. Come with me if you want to live. There were thousands, thousands of movies and shows, and they were all free. Truth is, it's just so Beautiful on Pluto TV. Free streaming of Terminator 2, Fringe Arrow, the 100, and the X Files may cause excitement, loss of sleep, and sudden belief in extraterrestrials. No credit cards or alien encounters necessary. Pluto TV stream now pay never. Oh, Riley Auto Parts. Yeah, love that jingle. Oh, oh, oh. So they're in the business of keeping your car on the road. We know that. They're also, you know, I don't have too many car issues. Usually I can figure them out, but if I can't, I go to O'Reilly. And they got all the stuff there, mostly stuff for me because the new stuff's like a computer. But my vintage cars, man, I can get a lot of parts from O'Reilly. They got thousands of parts in stock either in store or online, so you never have to worry if you get in a jam. Also, they'll test your battery for free, and if it needs to be replaced, they'll help you find the right one. So whether you're a car aficionado or an auto novice. You'll see the employees at O'Reilly Auto Parts are helpful and friendly. O'Reilly is your one stop shop for all things auto. Do it yourself. It's O'Reilly Auto Parts. Right. Dawson, stop by O'Reilly Auto Parts today or visit us@O'ReillyAuto.com Adam that's O'ReillyAuto.com Adam yeah, get it on. Got to get it on. No choice but to get it on. Mandate. Get it on. Good day to you, Mike Lynch. Who the are you? Mike lynch sitting in for bald Brian, of course. Allison Rosen. Always in here. Good times. We'll catch you up on some Oscar stuff because tonight is the night or tomorrow's the morning after the night. But either way, go to meeting. That's right. Let's talk about collaboration. That's what all these Oscars, that's what all these best pictures have in common, is teamwork. It's collaboration. And that's what you need. They must have used GoToMeeting. Brought to you by Citrix. It's impossible to get those colleagues together any other way. Use GoToMeeting. All they need is an Internet connection and you can collaborate on documents in real time. That's right. One low flat monthly rate. Hold as many meetings as you want as long as you need to go. I hope it's not too long because they get boring. Setup takes just a few minutes. You can do the free phone conferencing and voiceover. IP included. No problemo. Free 30 day trial. Visit GoToMeeting.com that's GoToMeeting.com Click on the try it free button. Enter the promo code Adam. 30 days for free. That's right, 30 days free. Just visit GoToMeeting.com all right, Dr. Bruce is coming in, aka Dr. Spaz. We'll bring him in for a little health segment. Also will be Alonzo Boden. Very funny. Comedians coming in as well. We're watching the Oscars as we do the show. I just was thinking as I was driving over here this evening, I thought, you know, I had to just walk people through making an independent film as quickly as I can because a lot of people are interested in that process and well, tonight seems like the night to do it. If in case anyone would like to know and Mike lynch knows but Allison doesn't. So I'll direct my attention toward her. It's horrible.
- [106:04]
Teresa Strasser
Okay?
- [106:05]
Adam Carolla
It's horrible. There's, there's two parts that are horrible when it comes to doing anything. The process of doing a Sitcom is a fairly arduous, horrible, gut wrenching, soul crushing experience. Then when you see what they put on instead of your sitcom, it gets 10 times worse. And it's sort of that way with not being accepted into Sundance. It's all right not to make the cut into Sundance. And then you see other movies that came out of Sundance, it just blew huge donkey dick. And you go, jesus Christ. Not good enough to suck.
- [106:41]
Teresa Strasser
Right.
- [106:41]
Adam Carolla
It's essentially not good enough to suck. I mean, when you take a look at NBC's comedy lineup on Thursday night, it is failing miserably and you're not good enough to make the cut. Of the team that went 1 in 15, I think you came up with a title for your second book. Yes. Not good Enough to Suck. Not Good Enough to Suck. Yes. At least give me the opportunity to suck. So the independent film world is like this. First off, a lot of guys who think their poop doesn't stink. Lot of hacks who can't really do anything, but they got the frames and they got the hats and they got the look, and they're all just.
- [107:20]
Teresa Strasser
They grind their lenses themselves.
- [107:21]
Adam Carolla
Red Converse with the tuxedos. Right? Right. Real hip, real hip dudes. So the first thing you do when you want to make an independent film is you go, I got an idea. I got an idea for this movie. And then you're naive because you think, oh, this is a good idea. Well, I have a good idea, so for sure this is going to be good. And then you write the script, and then the script is pretty good. And now you think, well, now look out, world, I got a good idea. Here we go. I got a good idea and a good script. And you go, all right, now what can we do? And then you think, third one, you go, hey, I've been in this town for a couple of years. I know a few people. As a matter of fact, my good friend Debbie Liebling, who used to run Comedy Central over there, she loves me and Jimmy like we're brothers or her sons. She's over at Fox Searchlight. So we'll go hit her up, she'll read the script, she'll be all over it. And so you think you're off to this flying start, and then you go over and you talk to Debbie and you go, hey, Debbie, got an idea. Got a little sports comedy right up your alley. Fox Searchlight, independent, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And she goes, we got a little movie called the Comebacks. And then she proceeds to talk to you about the Comebacks. Like it's Lawrence Arabia, or Lawrence of Arabia, I should say. And it's a fucking horrible movie. It got 9% on Rotten Tomatoes.
- [108:55]
Teresa Strasser
When did that come out?
- [108:56]
Adam Carolla
That's the whole point. You have no idea near just anyone else. And everyone over there is happy that nobody knew it ever came out. So. But it is nice before it comes out when they talk to you about, we cannot do your sports comedy because we have another sports comedy that's coming out, except for it's a fucking flaming pile of cat shit.
- [109:17]
Teresa Strasser
We can't do your piece of art because we have this steaming pile slated
- [109:22]
Adam Carolla
of shit to come out of shit. And again, whenever you're, you know, look, you can argue over movies, but when you're in the single digits, Rotten Tomatoes,
- [109:31]
Teresa Strasser
I think it blows.
- [109:33]
Adam Carolla
Most folks have spoken on that. So that's, that's the beginning then eventually. And I don't know how everyone keeps their jobs, by the way. I don't know how the people over NBC keep their jobs. Although I think the head chick got shit canned, which is a good thing. But I don't know how everyone else just falls up in this town when they greenlight stinking piles of cat shit. But anyway. And Dave Koechner starred in it, by the way, who I like, and he's a good actor, but that movie is fucking horrible. And like I said, the good news is for Debbie, Fox, Searchlight, Koechner and everyone else, it was so fucking bad that nobody ever saw it. So it actually didn't even count as a trip to the plate, which is, which is lucky because it doesn't go on your resume as a failure.
- [110:27]
Teresa Strasser
Right. It's beyond the scope of normal failure.
- [110:30]
Adam Carolla
Right. It's a black hole. That's right. And so when you sit around and you talk about it, though, at the time and they're explaining to you, we have this. Speaking of black hole, Alonzo Bowden's going to be up here in a couple of fields. He talks a lot. He's a man of color. When you talk about it, when you're sitting in the office, you're not angry, cuz you're just disappointed. You're like, oh, they got another good sports comedy that they're already making. So I guess they're excited about it. I guess the fury sets in a year later when you see the piece of shit that they were talking about. But that's how it works.
- [111:07]
Teresa Strasser
Delayed fury.
- [111:08]
Adam Carolla
Yeah. So thanks, Debs. Thanks for all the help, sweetie. And nice woman gave her husband a job at the man show. Evidently did not Pay it forward. Yeah, but either way, no, I like her personally, but that does. That gets you nowhere in this town. Like, you think all this nepotism shit's worth a damn. Not really. At least I've not found it to be true that way. Anyway, I don't know where the hell Debbie is. Trying to figure out where she is
- [111:37]
Teresa Strasser
these days, selling copies of the Comeback. Comebacks.
- [111:42]
Adam Carolla
No, no. And I'm not saying she wrote it. I'm just saying she thought it'd be a good idea to make it. Anyway, she's president of production at Universal Pictures, so this ought to be good for my next project. Either way, Listen, I like her. I like her husband Alan. I thought we had an in, but they had a movie and it was called the Comebacks, and it sucked. So that's your one thing. It's like, all right, well, now you have to go independent, because now no one's going to make this film, and no one, even on the independent level is going to make this film. So you got to rattle the can and you got to get some money together, and you hook up with some good people and you figure out what it's going to take, and you figure out how many days it's going to take. And then you start casting, and everything's on a shoestring budget. It's mostly about time. You just don't have that much time. We had, like, $850,000.
- [112:37]
Teresa Strasser
Are you excited at this point or are you still disappointed over the whole Deb fiasco?
- [112:42]
Adam Carolla
Everything, every step of the way, is just a fucking. It's just pushing a rock up a hill. Like, you get it made and you think, okay, we're gonna get into Sundance. And then you find out the ass wife from Sundance doesn't like my politics, so he's not gonna. By the way, when everything factor in, you know what I mean? Like, just read the fucking script or watch a fucking movie and put it in based on its merits.
- [113:05]
Teresa Strasser
Yeah.
- [113:06]
Adam Carolla
Really care about what I do or what I talk about on my radio show. Dick Weed. And I know. I mean, I'm not saying it's. It doesn't even have to be in the top hundred movies at Sundance. There's 500 movies. It's good enough to make the cut. I've seen the movies that get in, but no, it's not going to get in.
- [113:24]
Teresa Strasser
You had different politics.
- [113:26]
Adam Carolla
Yeah, I'm not sure what those are, but either way, not getting in. Then it turns out you get a agent who does independent films and a certain. And he's going to rep your film. This guy's name was John Sloss, and he was the best in the business. Another huge douchebag. Just mammoth douchebag. It's like, oh, he's the best. You're lucky to be working with him. We sat down for breakfast with this douchebag, and I was like, God, I hate this fucking guy. And kept calling her movie a tweener. Kept. They do a lot of.
- [113:55]
Teresa Strasser
What does that mean?
- [113:56]
Adam Carolla
I don't know, Manage. Not a comedy, not a drama, not a sports movie, not a. Try to sort of figure out what to do with it. And then there's a lot of managed expectations, like, well, don't expect this and don't expect that. Anyway, I found the guy to be a colossal douche. So despite appearances. Yeah, you could see his picture look like a huge douchebag. Mm. So he was a douche bag. And I hated working with him. And I say working with. But you don't do anything. Once we. We showed it at Tribeca and the movie got such a great response. He then ran up to Kevin Hinch, who wrote it, and went and wanted, like, what do we do with this? He said to him, so that guy's fucking complete waste of time. And that sucked. Then you start hooking up with all these people who want to. Essentially, you want to get your movie. You want to get it made. I mean, you want to get it out there, you want to get it distributed. And you run into these people, like Mark Cuban's company, and they're like, look, here's our distribution deal. We'll offer you nothing for your film. And then if it makes money, we'll give you half, like, consignment. Yeah, it's all these horrible, horrible deals. And then I had to pay, like, 30 grand to reopen open the film. Once it's locked off, you can't do anything about it. But I had to reopen it because the editor and the director cut out a fucking scene that was like an establishing shot that was fucking confusing you. Oh, my God. It pissed me off so fucking much. It was this thing where it was the. There was a scene when we were on the. The scene Jane lynch was in when we were on the exterior of the hardware. Hardware store. And it was a nighttime exterior shot. And I had it in there. And they said, oh, we don't have it. And we don't have. As a continuity prom. We don't have anything with the lumber hanging out of the back of your truck. And it shows your truck and so there's a continuity issue because you stole the lumber from the construction site. And it was like, jesus Christ. And then I found out we had the shot and they fucking pulled it out. And it drove me fucking nuts. Anyway, cost 30 grand, had to open the film, put the thing back into the film, and then made our deal with Weinstein. Now, Weinstein, as in Harvey Weinstein. Those guys just. It doesn't matter how many units you sell, you never turn a profit. Like, you get nothing. You get nothing. You lose. Yeah, you can audit them. We're trying to audit them, but you'll never get a penny out of them. They just take your shit, they just sell it, and they'll just hit you with a bunch of bills that don't exist. And it's really just a of bunch bullshit hand job. So there's that side of it, and then there's really. The only thing you hope for at the end is that the thing ends up somewhere where somebody can see it. That's about it. And for us, as I've complained about before, somebody bought it. And the people that bought it, Comedy Central bought it and they paid like $500,000 for it. And they said, all right, we're going to air it somewhere between, like, April and August of.09. No, I think it was.0:10. No, sorry,09. During the summer of09. And we're like, all right. Then09 just came and went. And I said, whatever happened to that on Comedy Central? And they said, oh, what'd we say? I said, somewhere like April and September, something like that. 09. They said, oh, 00:10. I said, wow, so a whole year later, huh? They're like, yeah, because way to go, by the way, whatever momentum the film had and it didn't. But whatever. Just little modicum of momentum it had. Let's. Let's let that blow over. Then you can air to leave room for all the fine fare that Comedy Central puts. Oh, man. Sex and Chicken is coming up. And Sex and Chicken. Rob Schneider's got another movie coming out. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Danny Boy. Gotta keep. Gotta replay that.
- [118:08]
Teresa Strasser
The Comebacks. You don't want to go up against the Comebacks.
- [118:11]
Adam Carolla
I'm sure that's been replayed a million times. And then they finally aired the fucking movie. And they aired it on a Saturday morning. I had no idea what was happening. I had no idea they're airing. They never tell me. They don't. God forbid they tell you, because then you could go out and promote. I think they aired it once on A Saturday morning. And then that was about it. I have since had about four or five meetings at Comedy Central with every executive from Comedy Central. No one's ever said a word about it when it aired when it wasn't going to air. I mean, to be fair, they don't give a shit. And they don't know. They don't know what they own, and I don't think they know what they've purchased. But to the best of my knowledge, it just aired on Comedy Central like nine in the morning for $500,000. Not even. I don't think it even aired in the evening. And then that was the end of that. So it's an awesome, uplifting experience.
- [119:08]
Teresa Strasser
So all in all, would you say it was rewarding?
- [119:11]
Adam Carolla
Well, you know, getting two thumbs up on at the movies before. At the movies. Went away after 30 years. And I used to watch at the movies when I lived at my mom's house in North Hollywood in like, 1977, 78, like when it was on PBS, like, like during the first season or two. And then watched it periodically. Well, not just periodically. It was pretty much Sunday night viewing or Sunday afternoon viewing for me. I always watched it. So having my movie just get graded, the two thumbs up was awesome. But just seeing them go, next up, film starring Adam Carolla, it's like after seeing 5,000 episodes of that and then normally saying, next up, Dustin Hoffman stars as a guy who runs an Imagine Imaginatorium or magiatorium. Imaginarium. Maginarium. Yeah. So that, that, that was worth it. Just the two thumbs up was. Was worth it to me, but. Oh, Jesus Christ. Dealing with every asshole in this town doing morning radio the whole time, too. Yes, yes, it was. It was soul crushing. But anyway, good times. And, yeah, I don't know if it'll air on Comedy Central again or when it does. They'll never. They'll never tell me if it does air or give me any advanced anything. Did we find out anything? When's it gonna air?
- [120:39]
Teresa Strasser
Oh, hey, it's gonna air March 7th and March 8th.
- [120:43]
Adam Carolla
Oh, at the prime time of 0, 10 2:00pm and 10:30am all right. Oh, well, you'll see all the commercials. You'll see the commercials leading up and the billboards, the billboards, the buses. You'll see that. You'll see the onslaught. There'll be a whole viral, you know, Twitter. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [121:05]
Teresa Strasser
For me, it'll be like, I. Everywhere I go in town, like, there's you on a bus and a billboard.
- [121:10]
Adam Carolla
I'm Like I can't get away from him. That's exactly what it'll be. It'll be over.
- [121:15]
Teresa Strasser
I'll go into a bathroom stall, close the door and like there's a big thing on the big poster in the stall.
- [121:20]
Adam Carolla
Yeah. So look forward to that. Other than that. Oh, and you know, Sports Illustrated giving it the best sports comedy of the year is a good. That was nice. That was a very nice. That and the two thumbs up thing I'll take and the fact that people who see it like it. That's the part I'll walk away from. But the business part of it, wall to wall douchebags and disappointment. And then again, when you see all the pieces of shit that are out there, it's. It's maddening. All right, shall we move forward? Should we bring in Dr. Bruce? Was that our plan? We're going to do a little bit of news and then bring in Bruce?
- [121:56]
Teresa Strasser
Yeah.
- [121:56]
Adam Carolla
We're going to talk some Oscars.
- [121:57]
Teresa Strasser
Talk Oscars.
- [121:58]
Adam Carolla
All right, let's do that a bit. All right. Live from the international news center next to Donnie's mini bikes, this is the news with Allison Rosen.
- [122:10]
Teresa Strasser
Well, first they said the big story this year was sequins and then they changed it to cap sleeves. So I don't know, they can't make up their mind. But I have an Oscars trivia quiz. Like to see if you know a little bit. Unless you want to just share some opinions about the Oscars, which is well underway right now and has been sort of few surprises thus far.
- [122:34]
Adam Carolla
Go ahead, give us a trivia.
- [122:35]
Teresa Strasser
Okay. Annette Bening met husband Warren Beatty on the set of which Oscar winning movie?
- [122:42]
Adam Carolla
Bugsy.
- [122:43]
Teresa Strasser
Correct.
- [122:44]
Adam Carolla
I mean Pete. That might chime in there. You're Pete. Yeah.
- [122:48]
Teresa Strasser
This is actually multiple choice but if you guys know you can just.
- [122:50]
Adam Carolla
Sure.
- [122:51]
Teresa Strasser
All right. Helena Bonham Carter was previously nominated for. Which movie do you want that you want the option?
- [122:59]
Adam Carolla
Bonham Carter and the Remains of the Day.
- [123:03]
Teresa Strasser
No. A, Howard's End. B, A Room with a View. C, the Wings of the Dove.
- [123:08]
Adam Carolla
It's all Merchant. I'd say A Room with you.
- [123:10]
Teresa Strasser
Howard's View. C, Wings of the Dove.
- [123:15]
Adam Carolla
Wow. It sounds like one of those fake made up movies that you'd see in the background of a movie about movies.
- [123:21]
Teresa Strasser
Jennifer Lawrence had a significant role on which short lived sitcom A.
- [123:26]
Adam Carolla
Who's Jennifer Lawrence? Joey Lawrence's something. I think it's Martin Lawrence's. Mm. It was a wacky character he played with a wig. Oh, he's got another big mamas thing coming. Out. It's awesome. If anyone likes to see heavy set black folk beat up other black folk, this is the movie for you. Now, is Tyler Perry presenting this something? He should be presenting it. Yeah.
- [123:52]
Teresa Strasser
Jennifer Lawrence is from Winter's Bone.
- [123:54]
Adam Carolla
Ah, okay. Did not see that. Oh, is that the one who won it? Yeah, is that the one who won for Winter's Moon?
- [124:03]
Teresa Strasser
They haven't announced lead actress yet.
- [124:05]
Adam Carolla
Oh, sorry. Oh, yeah, lead actress just won. Actually it was Portman.
- [124:10]
Teresa Strasser
Oh, okay. They have then that explains the tears. All right, so. Well, since you don't know who Jennifer Lawrence is, I'm gonna skip that question. At age 14, Hailee Steinfeld is the 9th youngest best supporting actress nominee of all time. Who is the youngest? A Shirley Temple.
- [124:29]
Adam Carolla
Oh, the youngest of all time.
- [124:30]
Teresa Strasser
Yeah. Well, no, she's. She's the ninth youngest, but who is the youngest?
- [124:33]
Adam Carolla
Oh, I'll tell you who the youngest was. The. Not Jody, not Jodie Foster. The one who looked. Tatum o'. Neill.
- [124:42]
Teresa Strasser
Yes, that is correct.
- [124:44]
Adam Carolla
Which one? Tatum o'. Neill. Yeah, yeah, for Paper Moon.
- [124:50]
Teresa Strasser
True or false. John Wayne went on and then she
- [124:53]
Adam Carolla
just wrote a crest. Ever since then, I mean it's been, wow, rocket ship to the moon.
- [124:59]
Teresa Strasser
Little darlings was good.
- [125:00]
Adam Carolla
Ryan o' Neill seems like a world class dick. Lotta like punching family members in the face. Yeah. When there's shenanigans at funerals, that's, that's bad. Yeah. By the way, that's world's worst happy hour place to go to. Like shenanigans at funerals. Would you like a casket of merlot? Yeah, sorry.
- [125:24]
Teresa Strasser
John Wayne won an Oscar for the original.
- [125:26]
Adam Carolla
Hey, we got a bottomless urn. Come on down. Happy morning hour. Yeah, sorry. Yeah, he does a lot of like there's these stories where like, you know, there's that kind of thing where people get drunk and start pushing each other around. It's another story when people start swinging around fireplace pokers and like p. People in the face with closed fists, you know, steak knives involved. Yeah, I mean like literally just hauling back with a closed balled up fist and punching, you know, your son, your daughter, whatever, in the face. And then there's this thing where it's like where they go like, I don't know what he's talking about. Like, I can't imagine a scenario where my son is like on Entertainment Tonight going, my dad used to just routinely just punch me in the face. And I'd just be like, what? I've never laid a hand on the lad. Like, really? What is, what is this disconnect, right? Something's up.
- [126:20]
Teresa Strasser
I feel like we should really talk about Charlie Sheen if we're talking about this kind of stuff.
- [126:24]
Adam Carolla
All right, let's do it.
- [126:28]
Teresa Strasser
So, you know, he is kind of nuts right now. And he called into a radio show to the Alex Jones radio show. And we have some clips.
- [126:38]
Adam Carolla
Charlie, everybody that I know that knows you and I know you well, talks about how behind the scenes, you give incredible amounts of money to charity. You help people, you give things to everybody. You know, you go out and help firemen and school children. I mean, you. But genuinely are a nice guy, but you've always just let people attack you and lie about you. And in the years I've known you and in the years people that have known you for decades, they say Charlie is on fire. And after he came out of what he's been in the last seven months, he is with people trying to push him around anymore. Is that fair to say? It's. It's. Yeah, it's an understatement. You know, it's. I just. I'm sorry, man. I got. I got. I got magic and I got poetry at my fingertips, and I'm, you know, at most of the time. And this is. You know, this includes naps. You know, I'm an F18, bro, and I will. I will destroy you in the air, and I will deploy my ordinance to the ground. That's an attack. No one naps better than Adam. Yeah, that's bullshit. And by the way, I'm an F22 Raptor when I'm napping.
- [127:40]
Teresa Strasser
Suck it, Charlie Sheen.
- [127:42]
Adam Carolla
Yeah, him and his F18. Jesus Christ. With his variable geometry wings, I'll fucking take him down with a sparrow right up the ass.
- [127:50]
Teresa Strasser
Yeah, yeah. I'm like a Transformer when I nap.
- [127:54]
Adam Carolla
Yeah, he's an F18 napper, huh?
- [128:00]
Teresa Strasser
He's got poetry at his fingertips, and he's made of magic. We have a couple other clips which I think show his state of mind as well.
- [128:06]
Adam Carolla
All right, let me just say this. It's nothing. Sort of deplorable that a certain Heim Levine. Yeah, that's Chuck's real name, mistook this rock star for his own selfish exit strategy. Bro. Check it, Alex. I embarrassed him in front of his children and the world by healing at a pace that his unevolved mind cannot process. Okay, Last I checked, Heim, I've spent, I think, close to the last decade. I don't know, effortlessly and magically converting your tin cans into pure gold. And the gratitude I get is this charlatan chose not to do his job, which is to write clearly someone who believes he is above the law. Well, you've been warned, dude. Bring it. Wow, I like that.
- [128:54]
Teresa Strasser
So in response, you gotta check it
- [128:55]
Adam Carolla
and to bring it.
- [128:56]
Teresa Strasser
Yeah, I know. Well, Also, he's an F18.
- [129:00]
Adam Carolla
To be fair with to Charlie, he hangs around with 19 year olds all day long, like, so there's a lot of whatever the vernacular is that he's
- [129:09]
Teresa Strasser
got, he's got it Jersey Shore esque,
- [129:11]
Adam Carolla
is it not, bro?
- [129:13]
Teresa Strasser
Yeah, well, so in response to this Chuck Lorre, who he's calling him,
- [129:19]
Adam Carolla
which is his name, it's Charles Levine, which is Jaime or Hyman or Hyman or whatever, whatever. The Jewish whatever.
- [129:31]
Teresa Strasser
Yeah. So in response to that. So he's the creator of Two and a Half Men and he's now pulling the plug on Two and a Half Men for the rest of the season.
- [129:39]
Adam Carolla
So, you know, the real victim is the audience. That's right. Right, yeah.
- [129:45]
Teresa Strasser
And we have one more clip where he's talking about the women that he hangs out with
- [129:51]
Adam Carolla
to women. You don't want to go there. You don't want to ever defend yourself. But you've told me privately most of the stuff, it's not true. But what is going on with the women in your life? The goddesses, Alex. The goddesses. Let me just say this about the goddesses. I don't believe the term is good enough. Is good enough. But when you're bound by these terrestrial descriptions, you must use the best choice available. Right? Yes. So, yes, miss doing radio with Bona dude.
- [130:26]
Teresa Strasser
So now after this, Radar Online challenged,
- [130:30]
Adam Carolla
why did he remarry? That's the thing. I mean, whether it's, you know, Kelsey Grammer or got married over the weekend. Chuck. Chuck. I just want to say Sheen. Chuck Sheen. Yeah. I always want to say Chuck Hess and Chuck Sheen. I like Chuck Sheen. No, I mean, these guys are like, look, you're rich. You love the hookers, you love the booger sugar, you like the party, you like the life you got. You nap like a fucking F18. I mean, you know, your professional, you know, grade napper. I'm just saying, when I hear about these guys, like, if I just wanted to party and they want to party. Like if I was in a scene where it's like, hey, man, I want to party. And me and Denise Richards decided to, you know, call the day because she napped like an ack ack gun and she fucking tried to ground my fleet, man.
- [131:26]
Teresa Strasser
Every time napping finds its own Level, you know?
- [131:29]
Adam Carolla
Yeah. And so why then do you immediately hook up with Brooke Mueller, whoever it is, and, like, get. And it's like. And then get married again? Like, I know. It's part of being nuts.
- [131:39]
Teresa Strasser
Are they adrenaline junkies? Is it they want the rush of, like, moving really fast?
- [131:45]
Adam Carolla
No.
- [131:45]
Teresa Strasser
What is it?
- [131:46]
Adam Carolla
I'll tell you. I'm sorry. I'm gonna adjust my microphone. No, it's not. I'll tell you. It's not love. I'll tell you what it is, in my humble opinion. But as you know, I'm always correct, right? Guys like Charlie Sheen do not. It's like people who try to do something by doing something else. Like, I'll buy. You know, I'm on a diet. I'll buy Snickers bars. But then I'll tell you to hide them in my house. And then I'll have you not tell me where they are. And then I'll tear the house apart. Like, anything but what you should do. Well, so I think guys like Sheen have a thing. I mean, now we all know it. Guys like Sheen have a little. They have a little gargoyle inside of them. They have a little. Little monkey crazed gargoyle monkey inside of them that just wants to jump out and tear open every piece of furniture and ear fuck everything that's standing and, like, eat everything on the spice rack and snort every drug.
- [132:55]
Teresa Strasser
Tasmanian Devil or like Glommer from Punky Brewster.
- [132:58]
Adam Carolla
I see more. I see more Tasmanian Devil, but sort of critters. I see. I see it like the Critters. Remember. Remember that movie? Me too. No, you know, it's like. It's like where they're. You know. Was it critters? Yeah, it's critters. Gremlins or Gremlins? Yeah, critters. There was critters. Yeah, Gremlins.
- [133:18]
Teresa Strasser
Yeah.
- [133:19]
Adam Carolla
I'm looking at critters now. Yeah, Gremlins. Critters, yeah, Gremlins. Like, they're just mayhem, right? They're going to break. They're going to break into a department store and just fucking light the whole place up. And so Charlie Sheen has that in him. And he realizes. And also he's very. He's. He's a high, functional and high functioning addict. Like, he doesn't. He was. He still is. I mean, he's gonna work. He's gonna do whatever. I mean, he can. He can do it, you know, so his thing is, every once in a while he thinks, you know, what if I get married, this person will ground my F18. Like they will stop me from doing this. They will contain me. So I think when a guy gets married, you know what it is? It's the equivalent to a gay guy getting married and having kids. Like, somehow this is gonna straighten me out. Literally. Like, I will not. I want to be straight, and if I have a couple of kids, I'll have to stay straight and I'll have to stay married. But then they just implode again.
- [134:20]
Teresa Strasser
I think they refer to that as a flight into health. Like, I'm gonna take this action, which on the F18. Yeah, exactly.
- [134:27]
Adam Carolla
But there's self destruction impulse. It's the same pathology as, like the Tiger woods and the Bill Clinton. You hyper achieve, but then you bring yourself down. You sow the seeds of your own demise. Right? And they know that a guy like Charlie Sheen knows that if he gets divorced from Denise Richards and just does what that little inner gremlin wants him to do, he's probably gonna OD inside of six months. So he gets married to someone who he thinks is gonna ground him, but then he just spins out again.
- [134:54]
Teresa Strasser
But then if you look at the choice of women or goddesses, he's not exactly choosing women who would appear to be ones who could ground him.
- [135:04]
Adam Carolla
Well, that's the other thing, too, is he's not really. I mean, just like sobriety, you know, he's gonna chill out with Bucky Dent and play a little T ball in Arizona. Like, if you talk to Dr. Drew, that's not sobriety. The whole idea is, it's an illusion of, like, this is someone that should chill me out, but it can't really be with someone who would sit on me and not let me at my drugs or whatever. El.
- [135:29]
Teresa Strasser
Sober. I mean, yeah, he has a little bit to drink, but, you know. Well, so anyway, Radar online challenged him to a drug test after this radio interview, and he passed it, evidently.
- [135:41]
Adam Carolla
Mm. Well, also, I can say this. If coke or speed or whatever, we can talk to Dr. Bruce about this. If that's your drug of choice, that's in and out of your system in a day. Yeah, pot hangs out for a while, but I don't. I don't think coke hangs out very long. We'll ask Bruce.
- [136:00]
Teresa Strasser
Yeah, I mean, he returned a negative finding for the first check test, which is 99% accurate for seven illicit drugs and five prescription drugs. Marijuana, coke, opiates, methamphetamines, ecstasy, amphetamines, PCP, antidepressants, barbiturates. Ben Doodia.
- [136:17]
Adam Carolla
Well, let's get Bruce. Get Bruce in here. Because I want to find out about this. Because he'll probably tell you why that's possible. And I'm just saying, from all the years sitting next to Dr. Drew, I figured out that pot sat in you for like a month and coke was in and out of you in like a day. That's the sad part.
- [136:40]
Teresa Strasser
So that's why you sunk yourself into coke.
- [136:42]
Adam Carolla
Oh, definitely. Yeah. Should we take. I'll tell you what, let's take a quick break. We'll bring Dr. Bruce, and Bruce is an addiction medicine specialist as well as well as doing emergency medicine. We'll do this and we'll dig into all this Sheen stuff with him. I'm going to call an audible. We'll be right back after this. Ace Broadcasting presents Healthwatch with Dr. Spaz. There we go. Thank you. All right, Dr. Spaz, great news. Yeah. I want to talk about this Charlie Sheen thing and this radar and all his drugs test. Am I correct when I say that the coke is in and out of your system? Quickly, Quickly. Two, three days. Two, three days. Pot hangs around for a while. Pot can handle. I've had individuals that were daily smokers. It's literally months before it's out of their system. If you built it up in your fat cells for a while, builds up in the fat, and then it's sort of unpredictable. Towards the end of your run of having positive blood levels, it'll. You could test negative and then burn off some fat, test positive again. So you could. So if I just went, had a dump truck of Bolivian shale dropped off in my front yard and me and some of my goddesses just did piles of coke while I banged them relentlessly on the driveway on a Saturday. Saturday. And then come Wednesday, I said, you want to test me for drugs? Probably negative. Probably negative. Right. That's water soluble wash out of the system. Right. So, you know, I'm just a sauna away from passing a drug test. Now that's, that's cocaine. What about ecstasy? Ecstasy, they're really the only one you're going to have long. Hot's the only one. Hangs TCP a little longer too. But, but just, and we don't know, but let's just say the drug of choice is probably cocaine or crack cocaine, let's say, for Charlie Sheen. Okay, Right. So if he's doing it on a, like I said, a Saturday, and then Radar online says, let me drug test you and it's a Thursday, you just walk in there with, with all the confidence in the world. Right. If that is your drug of Choice. And a pot would be a nice step up for Charlie Sheen at this point.
- [138:55]
Teresa Strasser
Yes, but are we thinking his behavior is because of drugs or is. Does he have a screw coming loose? I mean, you heard him on the show, Right, Right. We just played.
- [139:05]
Adam Carolla
It's a combination of things. Somebody like this with the amount of cocaine and there's sleep deprivation.
- [139:11]
Teresa Strasser
No, no, he naps like an F18.
- [139:13]
Adam Carolla
Exactly. Right. So there is some toxicity that will show up in statements he makes that even the non clinician is evident. Poor judgment, impulsivity. And this guy definitely has some access to some personality disorder issues going on. Well, there's also, you know, when guys, There are guys that are high IQ guys like, like Sheen is. And they're also guys that can talk. Like they can just be high and talk circles around almost anybody. And they're smart and they're sort of good at what they do. And also they're heavyweights. Like this isn't one of your mom's friends at somebody's wedding who hasn't had a pop in a few years having a little too much chardonnay and getting him. These are like professional drinkers, professional coaxters, you know, I mean, like these are guys. These are like Irish actors, you know what I mean? Like they could just fucking have half a bottle of doers and go out on stage and do Shakespeare.
- [140:13]
Teresa Strasser
They drive better when they're.
- [140:14]
Adam Carolla
Yeah, like. Yeah. Or it's the only way they drive. But yeah, I mean, so he seems like a heavyweight number one, like sort of professional heavyweight translated addict. I mean these are hallmarks of addiction. Yeah, no, he's been, he's been doing it for a long time and he's been, he, he's worked out a thing where he functions. Right. I mean it's sort of. But then it ends. But it's sort of like Elvis, you know, have a couple uppers go out and do a show, have some downers, go to bed, get pushed out on stage, do your thing and then die on the pot. Right. But on the other hand it gets to the point where there's cognitive dissonance, there's cognitive damage, there's. Things start to show up like these interviews when it's. Even the non trained individual can pick up on. Wow, this is. It seems like the mid to later 40s is sort of the over under on this. You know, being able to skate on this. It's sort of almost like your physique. It's like a guy who's built like Dolph Lundgren and he's partying and he's drinking, he's eating fast food and he's. Whatever it is. But at some point. At some point, it catches up to you. And these guys seems like it has. Yeah, that's the point. You can passed through your 30s and sometimes early 40s without this. But it now it seems like it's caught up. Right? And a lot of the myth you're talking about with the Irish actors, I mean, in the old days, there was very little reporting of actual, you know, the personal tragedies and what went on behind the scenes. And you're getting glimpses of what reality is. I mean, that. That there's tragedy here. There's the boundaries that this guy violates and the people that he's harming, including his love ones. It's got to suck for Emilio because Emilio's like, going in for auditions for like, Mighty Ducks 14. And they're like, emilio, hey, do you think you could slip this script at your brother? And he's like, what? Be great if they just cast a meal. Brought him in for Two and a Half Men. Just didn't say anything about it. Like, Darren, I would. I would. Yeah. Why not? Like I said, you said there's Darren. There's precedent for it. Yeah. Back when that TV used to be pretend. Now it all has to be so real. The thing that always bugs me. Show me a picture of the living room of Two and a Half Men. And I'm not saying this is not saying this is what happened to the show. And I don't wish this upon any actor or program, but if you take a look at the French doors in their living room that lead out to the beautiful Pacific, you'll see that there's no T astral between the two French doors. You'll see light coming between the two French doors, and that is clearly false. You would not hang French doors, or as I call them, freedom doors without either flat astrakal or T Astrakal.
- [143:00]
Teresa Strasser
The astracle on those doors has bothered me ever since I've been watching that show.
- [143:04]
Adam Carolla
Sweetie, you don't get it. There's no astracle.
- [143:07]
Teresa Strasser
That's what I mean. That's what I mean.
- [143:10]
Adam Carolla
I. By the way, the lack of.
- [143:11]
Teresa Strasser
Astrakal.
- [143:12]
Adam Carolla
Astrakal.
- [143:13]
Teresa Strasser
Astrakal. Yeah, the last. The laxtracle.
- [143:16]
Adam Carolla
You can't see it from this. This angle. Yeah, I'll explain what you're saying. That's what. That's what pushed Charlie over the edge. It pushed me over the edge. And we'll find a picture that shows it. I, by the. Can't see it from that angle either. I spent my entire day down in the beach with my beautiful daughter right where they're supposed to live, Walking down there at the end of Point Doom, where all the celebrities are, and just doing that thing, that thing where you hold hands and you walk on the rocks and the tide pool and it's slippery and there's starfish and little hermit crabs and all that kind of stuff. And at some point there was this. My daughter's such a rat, you know? I mean. I mean. No, seriously. She catches me peeing in the sink and I hear her running into the next room screaming about it. At some point, there's a little sand crab that's sort of beached. It's like it's out of the dirt, you know, and it's up on the thing and this little sand crab and I go, what is it? And I have a bottled water, and I dump a little bottled water on it and starts to sort of flail around. And then it gets turned over on its back, sort of like a turtle that can't really find its way. So I sort of flip it so it goes back onto its feet again, then burrows into the thing. And then I'm in the bathroom, probably peeing in the sink, and I hear my daughter talking to my wife and her friend and son. She's like, daddy, we were at the beach and he found a crab. Oh, really? What do you. He killed it.
- [144:40]
Bald Brian
What?
- [144:41]
Adam Carolla
I dumped Evian on the thing and then helped it on its way. I did not kill the thing. Waterboarded the crab. Yeah, if it's possible. And I. I don't think she thinks I killed the fucking crab. I think she's just doing it to get a reaction out of everybody. If we wanted to have a replay of your childhood, we'd pick your daughter, not your son. She's just like you. Oh, really? Absolutely. She's gonna give you a run for your money. I can't wait. Oh, the stories are going to get better and better. The fast forward 10 years I got to tell you, we were down again there at the COVID It was absolutely glorious today. I mean, not a cloud in the sky, 65 degrees. Just beautiful, crisp and clear. If you ever go down in Malibu, you go down the end where the Point Doom is. They have the sort of big sort of cliffs and the sand dunes and everything. You just look over the edge and if you. There's guys surfing and there's seals and there's just. You just you can see Catalina. It's breathtaking. Walked all the way down the stairs, got to the bottom, and then she announced it was time to get up on the shoulders to get back up. And there is a flight of stairs that fucking never ends. It's from the sand, from where the tide comes in to the top of that cliff and then all the way up the street. By the way, when you walk down those streets, you're like. You're passing like. Well, I know I went to a party over there with Courtney Cox and David Arquette. They're not down at that one point, but, I mean, you go down that back row there and you're passing like Cher and Madonna's house down there. It is insane. Like, literally like $50 million houses just to be near the ocean. I wonder if being near the ocean was any big whoop, like 30 years ago or 40 years ago. I don't think it was any big whoop. You know what I mean? Like, you live here. Like, all the nice houses in Southern California, at least in Los Angeles, are like, in Hancock Park. Like, all the big spreads are in Hancock Park. And that's just sort of in the middle of Hollywood. Whatever. Nothing special. Not a great neighborhood, but you're in the middle of everything. All the houses that were out in Malibu and out by PCH and all out in those areas, those were all just junker shacks. Until somewhere in like the 70s and the 80s, someone went, hey, man. You know, Johnny Carson went, hey, there's some pretty good looking real estate around here. But the original places are shacks, and some of them are still there. So it's this crazy thing where you have this piece of shit, like, two bedroom shack on a $4 million lot, and some schoolteacher lived there in 1955 who just wanted to be by the beach. All right, anyway, Bruce, what do you got? So what do you think's going on with Jim?
- [147:24]
Teresa Strasser
He's got gel on his hair. That's one thing.
- [147:26]
Adam Carolla
Ready to go. I'm like, Samson, it's loaded for gel. So what do we got?
- [147:31]
Alonzo Bowden
So this.
- [147:32]
Adam Carolla
Well, Charlie Sheen or my. Look at. I mean, I've organized all. Whatever you want. Okay, well, am I gonna be able to get through my eight top Roman
- [147:39]
Teresa Strasser
numerals on those pages?
- [147:41]
Adam Carolla
Yeah, here we go. First topic. Mafia murders, dissolving bodies in acid. Why am I including this? Because in homage to your Italian roots, of course. Sure. And this was presented at the February 23rd meeting annual meeting, the American Academy of Forensics. And this is from the University of Palermo. And they were because they found. Well, because theoretically, the Mafia has been dissolving bodies in acids. So the forensic community wanted to study whether or not this actually happened. So they used pig carcasses and dissolved and sulfuric acid, put the pig carcinoma carcasses in the acid to determine if this was a viable method. Poor pigs. Like, pigs are a good facsimile of pigs are like. And by the way, like pigs. First off, if I were the pigs, I'd be like, listen, you're either gonna use our heart valves on your old people or you're giving up the bacon. One of the fucking other man. I mean, you love us, you hate us. Like, what is it? And one causes the other. Now, I know bacon causes you to have. The old man ate too much of me and now he needs another part of me to fix his ticker. And like their skin. We have to test their skin and see, you know, figure out what's putting a cigar out on human skin. Well, that'd be torture. But, you know, on the pig skin, everything's the same with pigs. And now we're even gonna throw them in acid.
- [148:54]
Teresa Strasser
Yeah. Quit using every part of me. That's what I'd be saying.
- [148:56]
Adam Carolla
Well, the interest they were testing informants had described dissolving people in 15, 20 minutes. So they just wanted to test the. The veracity of these informants. That had to smell pretty good. Must have smelled terrible. So no, no, no. I'm thinking bacon. The conclusion was it isn't obvious whether the new research will translate into something useful for future investigations, but this is the way research. This is the. So is my. Does Mafia use the acid or not?
- [149:21]
Teresa Strasser
Or the concrete shoes.
- [149:23]
Adam Carolla
They actually do because police found tanks of acid in a Palermo hideout known as a chamber of death. So large. So there was evidence that the next. My next. Let's see. What is this? Well, being in adolescence linked to life satisfaction. Adulthood. This is death. Good name for azv. We got it. We got to do that, Allison.
- [149:43]
Teresa Strasser
Okay.
- [149:44]
Adam Carolla
We love you. This is. This is specifically for you. I just want you to pay to. Well being and adolescents linked to life satisfaction and adulthood. What would you think about your experience there? Just it Let me just. This is from Cambridge University. So these are people that know their. Their stuff.
- [149:58]
Teresa Strasser
I fail on that one too.
- [150:00]
Adam Carolla
Well, they linked the ratings of life satisfaction to mental health and later life, work experience satisfaction, positive relationships. And they found that teenagers were they who they rated. They were rated by their teachers also. So there they found There is a positive correlation. Happy Children were much less likely those to develop mental disorders and less likely to. They were also less likely to get married and more likely to get divorced. Oh great. Happy children. Happy children. Less likely to get married.
- [150:36]
Teresa Strasser
More likely to get married you mean.
- [150:37]
Adam Carolla
Let's see. Well, they're more likely to get divorced. That was the interesting thing. Because they felt their higher self esteem or self efficacy made them more willing to leave. I know what it is too. It's these parents that dote on their sons or daughters and then they make them feel like they have the right to, to happiness. And then they look at the person sitting across from them at the dinner table and they're like, why are you not making me happy? And it's kind of your job to make you happy. And then they sort of blame it on the person. I had a sad realization. I went and visited my mom who was having some back problems and by the way, she used to be depressing. Talk to her when she didn't have the back problems. Now look out. And how would I know that my mom, oh man, she is just a whirling dervish. She really is. She, she's. She, she, she got a house. Now what happened was, is my mom lived in a piece of shit house and then her mom eventually died and now she's got two piece of shit houses in the valley and now she's gonna fix up the second piece of shit house that you're gonna fix it up or she's gonna. I'm not, I'm done with that shit. I'm done helping out everyone, paying for everything. She's doing that on her own. Well, not on her own. She's find somebody to do it for. But I had this very sad realization which is took my son yesterday over there to pay a visit to grandma and step grandpa, my step stepdad John. And went into the old house and just had this, this flashback. I had two things. First, you have to queue up Kenny Rogers. Let's see, let's see, what's his? Ruby? No, not Ruby. No, it's his. No, no, it's his love song. The. Through the years. Through the years. All right, I'll tell you. So what happens. So here's, here's what happened. I thank you. Love this song. I don't think I'm gay for like in Kenny Rogers. Great song. So I was, I went to my mom's and, and so they're remodeling my grandparents house. So I, I walked through every square inch of the house looking at the remod And I had this like flood of really emotions, this like flood of memories. Like because I was raised by my grandparents essentially in that piece of shit house. So I was looking at everything in there and look at all the trinkets my grandfather had and all the shitty carpentry he did. He was a hack, but he did it himself. And all the, just eating all the dinners and stuff over there. I spent my whole childhood there. And then also my mom had add They've just completed adding a bathroom to the house. And I realized my mom is 78 years old and still has not realized a dream yet. God forbid she lives long enough, you know, I mean she should live. Sorry. She should live long enough to move into the house. Got another six months. Sorry. Yeah, but, but if she does, if that back doesn't give out and she moves into this house, this will be the first Corolla dwelling with two, two bathrooms. So she's successfully or unsuccessfully made it through almost 80 years of life with one bathroom. And this little piece of entry hall bathroom that they shoehorned into, into what was like a closet, little guest room will be her first multiple bathroom house. You grew up with one bathroom in your house? Yeah, my mom's house and my grand, my grandma's house. The bathroom, the only bathroom in the house was off, in. Off the bedroom. Their bedroom was a one bedroom. So if you want to go to the bathroom, you had to walk through their bedroom. They were throwing a party. You'd have to walk through the bed. By the way, when people were waiting to use the shitter to party, they'd be sitting on my grandparents bed just waiting to get in there. Would the popcorn tin in the garage count as a second bathroom? Because there may be a technicality. That's a half bath. That's a half bath. Must have curtailed your masturbatory activity. So now I'm.
- [154:56]
Teresa Strasser
Nothing curtailed that.
- [154:57]
Adam Carolla
How dare you. So now I'm, I'm. Now you gotta, you gotta put through the years, you gotta put through the here through the years back. And so now I say it's Saturday night last night. And I said, you know what? I built a, I built a steam room in my house. It's not really, it's just a bathroom thing in it. And I never, I never used it. They've used it three times in five years. I said, you know what, it's freezing outside. I put the towel on, took a, took a steam. I'm sitting with my earbuds on and I'm just sitting there in the steam room with just my towel on, you know, schwitzing away. And I, I got my earbuds on and this song pops up and then, and I'm just, I'm just sitting there in the dark, complete dark. And I'm picturing the grandparents house and eating dinner over there. My dead grandpa and all this kind of stuff. And the music's blaring in my ears and I eventually gets too hot. Like I get light headed.
- [155:52]
Teresa Strasser
Did you cry?
- [155:52]
Adam Carolla
I open the door, I come walking out and both my kids are sitting on my bed propped up, just sitting there. And I'm just standing there covered with sweat at the top of the bed. I'm like. But I don't take the earbuds out. I just have this blaring in my head. I'm like, your daddy loves you so much. He loves you so much. My wife's like sitting there going, what the fuck are you doing, doing? And I'm like, he loves you. I just, I love him. I love these kids. And I'm like, I'm like that. And I'm trying to lean over on him. My daughter's like, you're sweaty, you sweat. Yeah. My son's like, he's trying to watch Power Rangers or something. But this song blaring in my head mixed with my, my, my travels through this house and my kids and the. I, I, I guess the heat got to me. I'm even, I'm even tearing up now. But you just. I was just gay. I was just over, I was overcome with emotion. I, I didn't know what to do with myself when that called me and said, you're having a breakdown. Explains that. Okay.
- [156:51]
Teresa Strasser
He's just going through menopause.
- [156:54]
Adam Carolla
Literally. I brought a hot flash on myself. It was the worst. I mean, it was great timing. It was this song. Kenny did it again. Kenny strike. Yeah. I think this is the part that strings. That was just part of my medical health segment. I don't know. When you surf by. That's okay.
- [157:21]
Teresa Strasser
Adam's emotionality.
- [157:22]
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Oh my God. Bring out the best in you. All right, one more story. One more. Let's see. How about STD screening in older age individuals? And Medicare is thinking of.
- [157:34]
Teresa Strasser
Finally a sexy story.
- [157:36]
Adam Carolla
Well, rates of chlamydia among men aged 45 to 64 tripled from 96 to 2006 and doubled amongst women in the same age group. And the increases part of it is thought to be the Viagra explanation with erectile dysfunction drugs. There has been an increase in sexual activity in Older individuals. Do you think a lot of these people, guys like, are like, well, my. My peckaroo didn't work, but now it works. I'm just gonna buy a whore. Well, it sounds like the women are having a much higher rate of STDs, too. The older ones, really. It happens a lot in nursing homes. I hear about this. I guess they're just bored and they got nothing to do, so they're just old people screwing. This reminds me of my.
- [158:18]
Teresa Strasser
They're not using protection.
- [158:19]
Adam Carolla
My grandmother, the now deceased, she's now busting balls in heaven. Like, you know that thing there's a Righteous Brothers song about if there's a rock and roll heaven, will, you know, they got a hell of a band and they're talking about, like, Jimi Hendrix is up there and he's rocking out with Janis Joplin or whatever. Unlikely. If there is a ball busters group in heaven, they got an all star team. And my grandmother, she just went up there to captain the squad. She told me about 10 years ago, she said, you know, and there's a lot of sex going on in these old age homes. And she said, there's like one dude for every 10 women because men died so much earlier. Yeah. And, you know, so these guys are basically the rooster in the hen house. And I said, well, at least I got that to look forward to. And she said, what makes you think you're gonna be that guy? Meaning what makes you think you'll be alive, essentially, is what she was asking. No, they're not using condoms. So, of course, the health message from the Corolla network this week is, if you're over 55, please use condoms. Use a condom. Nice job with Dr. Spaz. Thank you. All right, Dr. Spaz, nice job. Another break. Well, we don't want to just do a Sledgehammer live spot. We'll bring Alonzo in, do it that way. Yeah, let's try that. You bring Alonzo Bowden in. Bruce, exit stage left. Ah, yes, Sledgehammer. Thanks. Our new partner, Sledgehammer went and toured the winery. Well, at least one of their sister wineries up north. Absolutely fantastic. I just drank some Sledgehammer last night. It's probably what brought the tears on when I left the sauna. Sledgehammer, big, bold wine. It's a man can drink this stuff with confidence. In a serious bottle too. Check out my new video@sledgehammerwine.com. that's right, we did a video. Sledgehammerwine.com and for a limited time only, get a discount and free. Free shipping. Go to sledgehammerwine.com, use the promo code ACE and get the discount and the free shipping. Always good to see you, Alonzo Bowden. There you go, Weezer. That sounded about right.
- [160:32]
Alonzo Bowden
What's up, Adam?
- [160:33]
Adam Carolla
What's happening?
- [160:33]
Alonzo Bowden
It's good to be back, man.
- [160:34]
Adam Carolla
How's your hand doing?
- [160:35]
Alonzo Bowden
Got two arms again.
- [160:37]
Adam Carolla
Johnny, just do it once, would you, please? Yeah.
- [160:42]
Alonzo Bowden
Sounds like an old haunted house.
- [160:43]
Adam Carolla
I know. Haunted microphone.
- [160:45]
Teresa Strasser
It's my chamber of death.
- [160:47]
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Last time we were hanging out, Alonzo had taken his hyper Retardo and, like, dumped it over Button Willow, right?
- [160:56]
Alonzo Bowden
Yeah, the 1098 Ducati. So, yeah, busted the wrist.
- [161:01]
Adam Carolla
And now you're cool.
- [161:03]
Alonzo Bowden
It's back.
- [161:03]
Adam Carolla
You're back. Oh, man. Yeah.
- [161:05]
Alonzo Bowden
70% motion and building strength back.
- [161:09]
Adam Carolla
Yeah. That's it. That's your throttle hand, too.
- [161:11]
Alonzo Bowden
Yeah.
- [161:12]
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
- [161:12]
Alonzo Bowden
I'm riding again, though.
- [161:13]
Adam Carolla
You are back.
- [161:14]
Alonzo Bowden
Good.
- [161:14]
Adam Carolla
Lesson learned. Important. Yeah. I just actually drove by the rock store today, actually heading out to Malibu and saw all the dudes on the bikes going and doing their thing up there. Do you head up there much?
- [161:29]
Alonzo Bowden
Once in a while. But Sunday's bad. The cops are just. Sit at both ends of Mulholland, and they just literally, they have two cop cars and two flatbed trucks waiting for you.
- [161:40]
Adam Carolla
They'll tow the bike.
- [161:41]
Alonzo Bowden
Oh, yeah. Yeah. If you're. If you're doing over a hundred or if anything on the bike's illegal, like pipes or, you know, your tail light or whatever, they just snatch it on a truck.
- [161:51]
Adam Carolla
They'll bust you for, like, exhibition of speed. Yeah, I've. You ever had any bikes towed?
- [161:56]
Alonzo Bowden
I did have one. Yeah. I did have one towed. And it's funny because they don't really care about damaging it when they tow it. They're just like, let's strap this chain around it, lift it up, and drag it in.
- [162:06]
Adam Carolla
Yeah. And they don't really much care what happens to you either.
- [162:10]
Alonzo Bowden
No.
- [162:10]
Adam Carolla
Like, I've had bikes towed from under me. Like, literally, the guys like, well, see you later. And, like, pre. Cell phones. Pre. I didn't have credit cards, cell phones, anything. Was just me and my helmet walking down Laurel Canyon going, all right.
- [162:26]
Alonzo Bowden
Yeah. If you get a cool tow truck driver, he'd take you to the yard with the bike so you could. You could maybe make a call from the impound yard. That was the best that you were going to get.
- [162:36]
Adam Carolla
You know, it was nice. I'd been complaining for years because I've had three bikes towed over the years. Two of the times or one And a half of the times it wasn't really my fault. The other times it was, but I always, always just drive me nuts that I've had a bike towed at 11 o' clock at night, went to the impound yard at 7 the next morning and they go, all right, well, let's see, 85 bucks for towing the bike, plus two days storage. And like two days storage, it hasn't been eight hours ago. Listen, man, we towed it on a Monday and it's Tuesday.
- [163:08]
Alonzo Bowden
You know who does that to me? Airport parking.
- [163:10]
Adam Carolla
Yeah, they can do that too.
- [163:12]
Alonzo Bowden
Always. It always seems they add a day like, like I got back today, I left Thursday and I got back this morning. And it's four days. Like I had to pay to park until Monday. And I'm like, well, can I just leave it here then and come back?
- [163:25]
Adam Carolla
They will do that thing, which is total and utter bullshit too, where you'll do that thing where they do the 20 minute or half hour increments and you'll go for an hour and one minute and they'll go, yeah, rolled into the next, whatever. And you're like, well, that's convenient. So I can. Well, by the way, all right, here's my plan. According to you, I paid for 19 minutes I haven't used, so I'm just going to fucking sit here. How about that? Like, by the way, they've decided that's legal. But does any other thing work that way?
- [163:54]
Alonzo Bowden
No.
- [163:55]
Adam Carolla
Hey, we just rolled into the neck time period.
- [163:58]
Alonzo Bowden
But parking lots, that's like, I went to Nokia and if you go down there and just like hang out, you can park by the hour. But if you go to a concert, you can't pay for three hours. You have to pay 25 bucks and park for the whole night, right? So the only guy down there making a fortune is the guy who owns the parking lot, right? You know that that's where the money is. Just, just have an empty lot where people can leave shit and charge whatever you want.
- [164:25]
Adam Carolla
I had, I pulled into LAX to park one time. Running late as I'm, I'm prone, prone to do. They don't tell you at lax, by the way, if there are no parking spots, they'll, they'll let you in. They'll let as many cars in. They'll never go like, oh, we don't have any. Yeah, I went into LAX and I fucking circumnavigated that parking lot for four days. Like just looking, just look at nothing. Nothing. Once in a while, someone pulling behind you and get that sweet spot, whatever. Drove around, missed the flight. Because I'd literally been circling for 45 minutes, missed the flight and then upon leaving was charged $14 for the time I spent there looking for the fucking. But I will tell you this. The world's cheapest lawyer. The guy's world's cheapest guy and a lawyer, Mike August was explaining to us that he got his car towed. They tried the two day bullshit on him and he's an attorney and he fucking hauled the guy in and sued him. And one. Yeah, because it's not two days.
- [165:25]
Alonzo Bowden
No, but they know nine hours.
- [165:27]
Adam Carolla
Yeah, you wouldn't know it by most people chooses to use.
- [165:31]
Alonzo Bowden
When I was broke and I'd go to lax, state. There's an employee parking lot, but there's no shuttle to the airport. But it's only 50 bucks a month to park as much as you want in and out. So I would pay for the month and then I'd walk over to the nearest hotel and shuttle over to the airport hotel.
- [165:50]
Adam Carolla
Alonzo, I feel like you are like just a blue vest and a name tag and maybe some steel toe boots away from parking almost anywhere you want. Just being especially around the airport. I could see fixing planes. I could see a handling baggage. I could see you doing security. Like, I never go, who's this imposter over here?
- [166:09]
Alonzo Bowden
Yeah, I know how it. I know how to. Well, I used to do it. I used to be there. So I know I have the attitude of an airline employee. I try that in the line though. That's the one place I wish it would work. Like when you're in line for security and the pilots and stewardesses just walk to the front of the line and shove their shit in. And it's like, you know, this is the only business that the employees get treated better than the customers.
- [166:30]
Adam Carolla
Right, right. That's a good point.
- [166:31]
Alonzo Bowden
Any other business, the employees are, you know, the customer comes first. And the airline business, they're like, fuck you, you paid to be here. I work here. Even like for upgrading a seat. You ever like not get your upgrade and then you see some off duty pilot sitting in first class, Right. Hey, wait a minute. I pay to be here. Like, I appreciate you work for the airline, but I'm a customer. Yeah, your ass in the back.
- [166:54]
Adam Carolla
I'm sitting up here, but I agree with you. But I was just thinking, good to have him close to the cockpit. Unless, you know, if the guy's flying the plane, has a stroke. He's very specific. Yeah. Okay.
- [167:05]
Alonzo Bowden
I guarantee he can make it 10 steps up that aisle.
- [167:07]
Adam Carolla
I don't. I gotta. I gotta say this. Alonzo, by the way, used to work for. Not Lockheed.
- [167:13]
Alonzo Bowden
Boas. Yeah, I was at Lockheed.
- [167:14]
Adam Carolla
Lockheed, yeah. Kelly Johnson. Skunk, Works all that stuff out here. Interesting story. Sort of went to a aviation high school or something. Came out here, started building. Started building military aircraft, right?
- [167:27]
Alonzo Bowden
Yeah, yeah. Stealth fighters. In the 80s, I worked on the Stealth. And then in the 90s, I trained the guys who built the C17s, the big cargo planes for Doug in.
- [167:37]
Adam Carolla
First off, the airplanes, the C17s and all the. All the big. The Hercules and all that kind of stuff. When you see them loading M1 Abrams tanks into an airplane, it's insane to me that that thing's gonna taxi and take off. Like, when you see them just. They drop the hatch in the back or they flip the nose up or whatever it is, they start rolling.
- [168:02]
Alonzo Bowden
They just drive them in.
- [168:03]
Adam Carolla
They drive tanks. And a tank. First off, a tank is like someone melted down 50 SUVs and put it into a footprint that was a little bit bigger than the suv. Like, it is the heaviest fucking thing on the planet, right?
- [168:17]
Alonzo Bowden
Yeah.
- [168:18]
Adam Carolla
Putting in an airplane and having it just take off. Seems it's just so counterintuitive, doesn't it?
- [168:24]
Alonzo Bowden
Yeah, it's. It's. I mean, the technology. Kelly Johnson was a genius like that. That's one guy, like, who made a difference in saving the world. He designed airplanes. Like you said. You were like, a plane can't do that. He was like, oh, it can. And so he built, like, the C5, like, the biggest airplane ever made. He did. And the SR71, the fastest, and the U2 the highest. Flying, like, he. One guy designed all of this shit. I don't know if he hadn't been born.
- [168:52]
Adam Carolla
He was also really the grandfather of the Delta Wing planes, which are now the Stealth fighters or Stealth bombers and all that. He. He was trying to do Delta Wing technology really, before the computer, which made it almost impossible. He had a little bit of success, but, yeah, this guy. These are records that'll never be broken because nobody. We have satellites now. We don't need SR71s anymore. We don't need planes that fly 3,500 miles an hour. We don't need U2s. We don't need spy planes, any of that anymore. But it is insane what this guy was doing at this age. I mean. And when I say that age, I don't mean his age. I just mean in the 50s and the 60s.
- [169:35]
Alonzo Bowden
Yeah, 50s, 60s, 70s. And what's funny is when you talk about loading a tank, we'd load a plane into another plane.
- [169:43]
Adam Carolla
Really?
- [169:44]
Alonzo Bowden
Yeah. That's how we delivered.
- [169:45]
Adam Carolla
That's like Turducken.
- [169:47]
Alonzo Bowden
Yeah, that's how we delivered the Stealths. They'd bring in a C5 at night, and you'd load a Stealth fighter in at Burbank Airport. You know, we'd pull the wings off and load it in, and then the next day people would be like, did a giant plane fly here last night? And they'd be like, what, are you crazy? No, that plane. No, it's never happened.
- [170:07]
Adam Carolla
They could load a Stealth fighter into another plane.
- [170:11]
Alonzo Bowden
Yeah, you take. You pull the wings off and then you put it in a C5 and
- [170:15]
Adam Carolla
it would fit with the wings and the.
- [170:17]
Alonzo Bowden
I mean, one.
- [170:18]
Adam Carolla
One shipment, One load.
- [170:21]
Alonzo Bowden
I don't even know if I'm allowed to say that at this point. I think I am.
- [170:23]
Adam Carolla
Wow.
- [170:24]
Alonzo Bowden
If you don't hear from me tomorrow, I spoke too much.
- [170:26]
Adam Carolla
It's insane that the Stealth now is 25 years old, 30 years old.
- [170:32]
Alonzo Bowden
It's old technology now.
- [170:34]
Adam Carolla
Yeah. And so how many years did you have working over there?
- [170:37]
Alonzo Bowden
I was at Lockheed off and on for eight years, and then at Douglas
- [170:41]
Adam Carolla
for three and work for the skunk division, which does the classified stuff. I know because we talked about this. My stepdad worked over there for like 30 years. He even made the move to Palmdale or whenever they.
- [170:55]
Alonzo Bowden
Yeah, I never went out.
- [170:56]
Adam Carolla
Whenever they moved.
- [170:56]
Alonzo Bowden
I got friends out there now. Never. I was lucky. I never had to go out there.
- [171:00]
Adam Carolla
The great. The great thing with my stepdad is he had that high security clearance. And someone at some point must have said to him, no talking about. And he was like, done and done. He probably held up a dry erase board that said done and done, but he didn't know. He thought it meant all conversations with everyone about any topic. He didn't know. It was just about classified stuff that took place, man. So being on the floor there and this was just really. When they were out in Burbank. Right. Was walking. Walking the floor there. When that kind of technology was going down, you had to feel like you're really part of something.
- [171:35]
Alonzo Bowden
You know, it was. It was a job. It was like when you look. Stood back and looked at the big picture, it was something. But the truth was, on my crew, we did the hydraulic testing on the stealth fighters. 10 guys on the crew. Eight of us had gone to high school together.
- [171:51]
Adam Carolla
Wow.
- [171:51]
Alonzo Bowden
Yeah. Eight of us were from aviation high school. So to us, it was Just like, you know, like, imagine being 20 and working with your buddies from high school, right? You know, it was like, oh, shit, we get to play with this plane. Let's just, you know. And we would. That's what we did. Our job was to test the plane. And we had two guys who were Vietnam vets who were like the old pros on the crew. And they'd stand back and tell us what to do because we'd be the ones climbing around getting drenched with oil and stuff like that. But when we stood back and you looked at the technology and you realized, I'll tell you what blew our mind. That movie Firefox, that Clint Eastwood movie. When we saw that and everything, the plane could do, our plane could do, and we couldn't tell anybody, right? We were like, that shit's not a movie. We're building that.
- [172:34]
Adam Carolla
Right.
- [172:35]
Alonzo Bowden
You know, that's three blocks from here in Burbank.
- [172:37]
Adam Carolla
Did you ever get drunk and want to, you know, tell some chick what was going on?
- [172:40]
Alonzo Bowden
Nah, Nah. When you get drunk and tell him you're a test pilot, that would impress.
- [172:44]
Adam Carolla
Oh, yeah, that's better.
- [172:44]
Alonzo Bowden
Yeah.
- [172:45]
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
- [172:45]
Alonzo Bowden
I can't tell you what I fly, but I'm a test pilot when I'm not drinking.
- [172:49]
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
- [172:50]
Alonzo Bowden
You know, when I'm not loaded.
- [172:52]
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
- [172:52]
Alonzo Bowden
I'm a test pilot of top secret aircraft.
- [172:54]
Adam Carolla
We're actually working a plane where I can be drunk. Alonzo has himself a DVD called who's Paying Attention? It is. Where do we get the DVDs? Amazon first get it. You can pre order it on Amazon. You get on Amazon. And some great reviews on. I'm gonna check it out as soon as I get home. Also, new TV show coming out called Inside the Vault. How's this work?
- [173:18]
Alonzo Bowden
Inside the Vault, it's a syndicated show. It's me with Chris Collinsworth and Joe Wagner. And it's kind of like a guys talk show. Like.
- [173:27]
Adam Carolla
Oh, yeah, I've seen.
- [173:28]
Teresa Strasser
What did I see?
- [173:29]
Adam Carolla
Did I see it? I see previews of it.
- [173:31]
Alonzo Bowden
You might have it here in la. It's on ktla. It's a WGN show. And we do, like, every week we do a guy thing. Like, we did the. The food episode. So we went to steakhouses and a travel episode. We did, like, guy road trips, you know, you know, beer. Beer and whiskey tasting rather than wine tasting. And I like stuff like, Collinsworth is really cool.
- [173:53]
Adam Carolla
He's just good. Yeah, he just seems good. I mean, I see him on Inside the NFL and all the NFL stuff, but I mean, he's one of these guys who he. He. First off, he always does his homework. Like, he's always like, studying. Studying his film and stuff like that. He's just picking it apart. Like, Warren Sapp's just sitting there. He's like, yeah, 18. Peyton Manning. Yeah, him when he throws the ball to. What's that guy was that skinny boy who catches Marvin Harrison? Yeah. 88. Right. Him. But, but, but Collinsworth, like, sits in his basement and like, literally studies to film. And I'm. I'm sure he does it on your show as well.
- [174:32]
Alonzo Bowden
You know what I didn't know about Collinsworth? He's a lawyer, just like my August. Yeah, he got his law degree while he was playing for the Bengals. Like in the off season when everyone else was drinking and partying, he went and got a law degree.
- [174:45]
Adam Carolla
He also has some sort of state 100 meter dash record, which is insane. The guy had wheels. And he still has the record in college for the longest pass from scrimmage. He threw like a 99 yard pass from scrimmage and he ended up being a wideout in the NFL. So. Pretty impressive guy.
- [175:07]
Teresa Strasser
I feel like we don't have enough awards and degrees up in here.
- [175:11]
Adam Carolla
Well, I finished off a pig's trough at ferals when I was a kid. That's four scoops of ice cream. That's taffy. Well, I. I wouldn't be saying it if I didn't get something. Obviously, I'd have to back it up if you called me out on it and I have to produce it. Yeah.
- [175:28]
Alonzo Bowden
I won a dunk contest in an amateur basketball league. The WBL or the Valley.
- [175:33]
Adam Carolla
Oh, really?
- [175:33]
Alonzo Bowden
Yeah.
- [175:34]
Adam Carolla
Oh, that's good. So me too.
- [175:36]
Alonzo Bowden
That's what I got.
- [175:38]
Adam Carolla
It's really. A couple years later.
- [175:39]
Alonzo Bowden
Yeah, A couple years after.
- [175:40]
Adam Carolla
Yeah, it was 98. Yeah. Well, he's a tomahawk man. Yeah.
- [175:42]
Alonzo Bowden
All right.
- [175:43]
Teresa Strasser
I'm pretty good at that thing where you roll the bowling ball and it has a. To get over the first hump, but then not over the second one. See what I'm talking about at the ski ball. No, I'm good at skeeball. I was on a skeeball team, actually. But no, hold on.
- [175:54]
Adam Carolla
You're on a skateboard? Yes.
- [175:56]
Teresa Strasser
They have a skeeball. A competitive skeeball league.
- [175:58]
Alonzo Bowden
Where do they have a ski.
- [175:59]
Teresa Strasser
New York.
- [175:59]
Adam Carolla
Really?
- [176:01]
Alonzo Bowden
You're making that up.
- [176:02]
Teresa Strasser
No, I lived in New York. I'm not making it up. Ace Bar in the East Village.
- [176:06]
Alonzo Bowden
Oh, a bar in the Village. Okay.
- [176:08]
Adam Carolla
All right.
- [176:08]
Alonzo Bowden
That makes sense.
- [176:10]
Teresa Strasser
Yeah.
- [176:10]
Adam Carolla
Ball Team?
- [176:11]
Teresa Strasser
Yeah.
- [176:12]
Adam Carolla
Did you have a nickname?
- [176:13]
Teresa Strasser
Well, all the teams have names, and they're all ski puns, and ours was Skeezus H. Christ. But then my sister came up with a good name. Or maybe someone else came up. I forget. After we'd already chosen Skeezus H. Christ, which was. It burns when I ski. Also good.
- [176:31]
Adam Carolla
Yeah, it's not bad.
- [176:32]
Teresa Strasser
Yeah. No, but that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about that carnival game where there's, like, a metal sort of track and you roll a bowling ball and there's a divot, and it has to get. You have to push it just hard enough so that it sort of stays in that hump. Does no one know what I'm talking about?
- [176:49]
Adam Carolla
No, I don't. This is amazing. It's got. It's got to have enough to get over the first hump, but not. Not so much that it gets past the second hump.
- [176:57]
Teresa Strasser
Exactly. And it's very hard. But I'm not bad at Chuck E. Cheese.
- [177:00]
Adam Carolla
You'll see. That kind of thing. Don't know that one.
- [177:01]
Teresa Strasser
Don't know.
- [177:02]
Adam Carolla
But I am hip hop.
- [177:05]
Alonzo Bowden
Oh, you know what I have, you know, my official degree. I'm still licensed to fix aircraft.
- [177:10]
Adam Carolla
Oh, you are.
- [177:10]
Alonzo Bowden
You know, that's weird. It's a lifetime license. So even though I haven't touched an airplane since 1993, theoretically, I could go to LAX tomorrow, grab a wrench, and say, I got this.
- [177:20]
Adam Carolla
Well, that's what I mean. You can park wherever you want.
- [177:22]
Alonzo Bowden
Yeah.
- [177:23]
Teresa Strasser
Do you feel like you still know it? Is it part of you?
- [177:27]
Alonzo Bowden
I could figure it out. I could read the book and then do something. You know, if I had to do. Do something on a modern aircraft, I could understand the manual.
- [177:36]
Adam Carolla
Went to high school for it, for Christ's sake.
- [177:38]
Alonzo Bowden
Yeah, yeah, do it. I can handle it.
- [177:41]
Adam Carolla
Hey, Allison, do you got the rest of the news, by the way? Somewhere. Somewhere near you?
- [177:46]
Teresa Strasser
I do.
- [177:47]
Adam Carolla
Shall we take a look at it?
- [177:48]
Teresa Strasser
Yeah.
- [177:49]
Adam Carolla
Mike's going to. From the International News center, next to Donnie's mini bikes, this is the news with Alison Rosen.
- [177:58]
Teresa Strasser
First, I want to say that we have a few more Oscar winners. King's Speech got Best Picture.
- [178:04]
Adam Carolla
Heard it was good.
- [178:05]
Teresa Strasser
And it also got achievement in directing and Colin Firth. King Speech won Best Actor. Christian Bale.
- [178:13]
Adam Carolla
It's a crazy. It's a crazy thing. The guy wrote the thing 30 years ago, 20 years ago. I don't know how long ago. And then he had to talk to the queen mom, and she's like, nah, don't, don't. That wouldn't fly over here, but had to wait till the old woman passed away. And I guess she went. She was 102 or something insane. I mean, when you're hoping, when you're sitting on top of something that you feel pretty good about and you're waiting for someone to die and that person goes past the hundred year mark, you're gonna be like, what the fuck?
- [178:46]
Alonzo Bowden
Don't. Like the Queen and the Queen Mother and all. They all live forever, don't they? Like, that's the one person you don't want to bet on, right? You know, I gotta wait for her to die.
- [178:55]
Adam Carolla
Like, oh shit.
- [178:56]
Alonzo Bowden
Yeah, they don't. Because they don't do anything.
- [178:58]
Adam Carolla
You want a black blues singer like, listen.
- [179:01]
Alonzo Bowden
Yeah, yeah, that's. That's a guy.
- [179:03]
Adam Carolla
Etta James, let me just say this. I got a story. I wanna. But I wanna wait. You want some more heroin or.
- [179:08]
Alonzo Bowden
Yeah, that's like three more weeks.
- [179:10]
Adam Carolla
Cool. How you doing? I can't believe Aretha Franklin is still around. Quite honestly. Like that. That is. That is crazy. But yet I was thinking about it because between the never seeing sunlight and the food tasters and the constant medical attention, you just, you know, by the way, a lot of people die just because they can't get to the hospital or they don't get adequate medical, whatever. But imagine if you just have a team surrounding you the entire time.
- [179:38]
Alonzo Bowden
They should expose her to air. That would probably kill her right away. Like if they wheeled her out of the castle into the atmosphere, that would just take her out and she'd just be like, I can't breathe with common people.
- [179:49]
Adam Carolla
Good point. Yeah. So I mean, you figure at least 10, 15 years, but a hundred. Jesus Christ. But you feel like the inbreeding would. Would somehow balance that out. You know what I mean?
- [180:01]
Alonzo Bowden
Yeah, you would think.
- [180:02]
Adam Carolla
You'd apparently not.
- [180:03]
Teresa Strasser
Full of recessives.
- [180:04]
Alonzo Bowden
So you write a story about someone else. That's what I'm saying. Like, you know, right. Instead of the King speech, it's the Jester speech, because they have. When's the last time they had a jester? Like, you could make that anybody.
- [180:15]
Adam Carolla
Geez, I don't know. I felt like a grow. Grew up watching cartoons where the guy had to make someone laugh, otherwise they're gonna cut his head off. Talking about a tough room.
- [180:24]
Alonzo Bowden
That's that. I think that's the great thing about being a Jester. Like, the Jester was allowed to make fun of the King, but if he wasn't Funny. They chop his head off. You know, as a comic, I love that. Like, I'd love that to be the stakes right now. Just to thin the ranks of stand up comedy.
- [180:38]
Adam Carolla
Last comic standing, literally.
- [180:39]
Alonzo Bowden
Yeah, yeah. You bomb off with your head right now.
- [180:43]
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
- [180:43]
Teresa Strasser
You know, hilarity, death match.
- [180:45]
Adam Carolla
The hat. The hat always scared me.
- [180:48]
Alonzo Bowden
You didn't like that? I feel like the three bells on it.
- [180:52]
Adam Carolla
I feel like most hats are connected to another hat. Like a derby isn't a top hat, but looks a little something, and it's got some of the same characteristics. The jester hat was just a complete insane hat. Like, someone did acid and made a hat. Yeah, it kind of matched the shoes, actually. It was like the mirror image of the shoes they were wearing. It matches shoes, but no other hat. All other hats can go, well, they have a brim and a top and a crease and a this and that. This was a band. Nothing.
- [181:18]
Teresa Strasser
I don't want to show on your point, but it's kind of a squished beret.
- [181:23]
Alonzo Bowden
No, three points.
- [181:25]
Adam Carolla
I'm trying to.
- [181:27]
Alonzo Bowden
Pointed hat.
- [181:29]
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
- [181:29]
Alonzo Bowden
There's no other pointed hat.
- [181:31]
Adam Carolla
Get on. Let me tell you about your point. There's.
- [181:34]
Teresa Strasser
Oh, my God.
- [181:35]
Alonzo Bowden
Yeah, that's squishy.
- [181:36]
Teresa Strasser
Not like that.
- [181:37]
Alonzo Bowden
No. Yeah, that's not a beret.
- [181:39]
Teresa Strasser
Well, the jesters that I've seen were not real jesters. I'm now realizing.
- [181:45]
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
- [181:45]
Alonzo Bowden
Were they in East Village and they just.
- [181:48]
Adam Carolla
They played skee ball.
- [181:50]
Alonzo Bowden
They played that weird bowling game.
- [181:52]
Teresa Strasser
Yeah. I don't know what I was thinking of. But not that. Yeah, that's like Statue of Liberty style.
- [182:00]
Adam Carolla
I'm just saying, like, the whole. The whole outfit. And even Charlie Sheen couldn't nap with that hat on because it had bells on the end of the whole thing. And I don't know if the other court jesters made fun of the guy with the crazy hat or they all wore the hat or they looked at him as like the carrot top of court jesters.
- [182:17]
Alonzo Bowden
I think you pretty much had to wear the hat. I think that was the uniform.
- [182:22]
Adam Carolla
Okay. And I wonder if they could work blue back then. Like, and I don't know what it.
- [182:29]
Teresa Strasser
I feel like probably because they weren't. There wasn't that much censorship then. I don't think they were that uptight either.
- [182:38]
Alonzo Bowden
It was all up to the king.
- [182:39]
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
- [182:39]
Alonzo Bowden
Like, if you made the king laugh, who gives a shit what anyone else thinks? You know, if the king says you can work blue, you work blue. Look at that fat ass queen.
- [182:48]
Adam Carolla
And I feel like those guys were usually Had a goblet or something and big fat beards. Like they looked like guys who wanted to laugh. Yeah, they're married. Yeah, they're married.
- [182:58]
Alonzo Bowden
Old souls.
- [182:58]
Teresa Strasser
Do you think the Jester's got a lot of play?
- [183:00]
Alonzo Bowden
Oh, hell yeah. Oh, yeah.
- [183:02]
Teresa Strasser
You do.
- [183:03]
Alonzo Bowden
Oh, shit. Yeah. The jester was knocking it out because
- [183:05]
Teresa Strasser
girls like funny people.
- [183:06]
Alonzo Bowden
When the king turned his back, the jester was in there with his wenches working it. Yeah, because they all had to live together, Right? There was probably some section of the castle where your jesters lived with wenches.
- [183:17]
Teresa Strasser
I think it was like America's Next Top Model.
- [183:19]
Alonzo Bowden
Wait for the king to call you. You had to do something.
- [183:21]
Adam Carolla
Well, throughout history, women have always said they want a guy with a sense of humor.
- [183:24]
Alonzo Bowden
Yeah. Then they fuck a guitar player.
- [183:26]
Adam Carolla
Right?
- [183:26]
Alonzo Bowden
That's how it works. Trust me on this.
- [183:29]
Adam Carolla
Right.
- [183:30]
Teresa Strasser
So the former president of the Gainesville chapter of Mothers Against Drunk Driving or mad was arrested for drunk driving.
- [183:38]
Adam Carolla
Gainesville, Florida. What the.
- [183:41]
Teresa Strasser
I know.
- [183:41]
Adam Carolla
Not the Florida I know.
- [183:42]
Teresa Strasser
Deborah Oberlin was arrested after she had difficulty on a field sobriety test. She registered a 234 and 239 on breath alcohol test. And she told the officer she had four beers. So honest.
- [183:59]
Adam Carolla
Well, what they do is they usually put a zero behind whatever it is you say. So if you said, I had one beer, that's 10 beers. If you had four, you had 40 beers. You don't tell them you had anything because you. Something that no one is truthful, but they try to do that. I'm gonna be cool. But it is one of these things where if you're connected to something. I mean, obviously we talk about that. Methinks thou protest too much. Like when they have the guy who's on the crusade to cure gays and he ends up with the male prostitute. Whenever there's a. I mean, it's like there's like we always talk about if you're on. No one is on that AIDS 5K walk run that doesn't know somebody who has AIDS or has AIDS themselves. Otherwise there's no connection to it. So even. Even with the causes, the good causes, like Mothers Against Drunk Driving, there's some connection there. And I think they just found it.
- [184:50]
Teresa Strasser
Right, but it's supposed to be they don't want their kids to drunk drive. Not they're against other mothers who are drunk driving.
- [184:55]
Alonzo Bowden
Yeah, but didn't the woman who founded it end up working for a whiskey company? Like, she went completely the other way.
- [185:02]
Adam Carolla
I thought the woman who founded it got a dui.
- [185:04]
Alonzo Bowden
She did, she did. And she ended up working for some big distillery.
- [185:09]
Adam Carolla
I got a. Oh, sweet irony. I. I took a tour of the Coors Distillery, by the way. Not a lot of brothers hanging out there, by the way. Lonzo, I just thought you up in the Rocky Mountains.
- [185:21]
Alonzo Bowden
We're not. We're not there yet.
- [185:22]
Adam Carolla
Not in Golden. It's called Golden.
- [185:23]
Alonzo Bowden
Yeah, I did the university there. I did the University of Mines in Golden, Colorado.
- [185:28]
Adam Carolla
We talked about that the whole time we were there.
- [185:31]
Alonzo Bowden
I was there. They have a. They have a 5 o' clock happy hour on Fridays where the kids can actually drink beer. It's one of the few universities they can still drink at school. And. Because when I got booked for a five o' clock gig on a Friday, I'm like, oh, this is gonna suck.
- [185:45]
Adam Carolla
Sure.
- [185:46]
Alonzo Bowden
And I get there and they've been drinking since three free beer. I was like, oh, this is gonna rock.
- [185:50]
Adam Carolla
Were they drinking the local brew, like Coors?
- [185:53]
Alonzo Bowden
Yeah, they drink Coors. Coors sponsors everything up.
- [185:55]
Adam Carolla
Coors makes this local one. I got pissed off because my favorite beer they made was the one that they only serve in Colorado. So now I gotta go smoking the Bandit on their ass to get a truck and try to get some of the local stuff out of. Of Golden, Colorado. But, yeah, they said the College of the Mines.
- [186:12]
Alonzo Bowden
Yeah, College of Mines.
- [186:14]
Adam Carolla
College of Mines is right down here, as a matter of fact. They heat it through piping some of the heat that they use for their roasting of the barley. They're roasting the barley. First off, half the stuff this chick was talking about sounded like total bullshit to us. Like, Mike didn't sound like just bullshit. Yeah, she didn't know what she was talking about, but she was talking about the College of the Mines, which is right down the street, I guess.
- [186:38]
Teresa Strasser
Is it a mine called.
- [186:39]
Alonzo Bowden
Yes.
- [186:39]
Adam Carolla
You learn mining, huh?
- [186:41]
Alonzo Bowden
That's a useful talent. See that, there's two reasons you won't see the brothers up there. First, Coors beer. Second, mining.
- [186:47]
Adam Carolla
Is it really about mining?
- [186:49]
Alonzo Bowden
I don't think the brothers. We're not too into mining. You never see.
- [186:52]
Adam Carolla
Well, once that lantern goes out, you can't be found.
- [186:55]
Alonzo Bowden
There you go. Yeah, I mean, that whole West Virginia thing, that's one of those places like, you know, you guys can have that. You know, there's a lot of places where white supremacists are at. And it's like, you know, if you ask us, we're not coming. You. You're all right up there, you know?
- [187:09]
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
- [187:09]
Alonzo Bowden
Northern Idaho. We're not on, we're not heading up there.
- [187:12]
Adam Carolla
Plus, I. I feel like the brothers, they don't like going into the holes.
- [187:16]
Alonzo Bowden
No.
- [187:17]
Adam Carolla
And then if something happens, it's not going to be like what we did with the Chileans and be like, listen, after this playoffs, we'll send. We'll send some food down there.
- [187:24]
Alonzo Bowden
But relax, we're one step above the birds they use to test that shit.
- [187:28]
Adam Carolla
We don't trust them.
- [187:29]
Alonzo Bowden
We don't. We don't trust white people in that situation. Like, let me see. Okay. Who's going to go to the bottom of the hole and maybe die?
- [187:35]
Adam Carolla
Yeah, yeah.
- [187:36]
Alonzo Bowden
That's not.
- [187:37]
Adam Carolla
Send Lamont down.
- [187:38]
Alonzo Bowden
Yeah. Ain't gonna happen.
- [187:40]
Adam Carolla
Plus, we're tall. Yeah, you're too rangy.
- [187:42]
Alonzo Bowden
Tall doesn't help.
- [187:43]
Adam Carolla
Yeah, you need for that. Yeah.
- [187:46]
Teresa Strasser
Did you know that Vanessa Hudgens, Zac Efron's ex, got a neck tattoo of a butterfly?
- [187:52]
Adam Carolla
Oh, really? So classy, isn't it? So much more attractive to me?
- [187:57]
Teresa Strasser
Yeah.
- [187:57]
Adam Carolla
Yeah. The. The tat where you can let your hair down and hide it. Sort of the cop out tat, you know, I mean that people do that. They put the tats places that can be concealed.
- [188:08]
Teresa Strasser
Right?
- [188:08]
Adam Carolla
Concealed quite easily. I heard her and Zach. Oh, no. Her, no. Who's she going out with? The Bieber now who's she going out with?
- [188:15]
Teresa Strasser
She was going out with Zach. I don't know who she's going out with now, but.
- [188:22]
Adam Carolla
Well, either way.
- [188:23]
Teresa Strasser
Yeah. I mean, I think maybe she's celebrating her freedom and her spirit and her joie de vivre with that. But see, normally with the hidden tattoo, you. You'd go for like sort of groin area, thigh.
- [188:37]
Adam Carolla
Mm. But maybe they're nervous about getting it done because you got the tattoo artist, you know, I mean, you gotta drop your drawers, you know?
- [188:46]
Teresa Strasser
You think she's nervous about dropping her drawers?
- [188:48]
Adam Carolla
I'm just saying, the one that you get on your boob or your inside of your thigh or whatever it is, you're gonna be standing around in your underpants long time. That's all I'm saying.
- [188:56]
Teresa Strasser
Yeah.
- [188:57]
Adam Carolla
All right.
- [188:57]
Teresa Strasser
I mean, I'd be nervous about getting that on my neck though. All right. 24 year old. A 24 year old woman named Corinthian Williams was arrested on multiple accounts of child neglect.
- [189:07]
Adam Carolla
She ain't going into mine.
- [189:10]
Teresa Strasser
No. When an anonymous call tipped police off that her four kids, ages 1 through 9, were home alone, turns out she was stripping, which is what she listed as her occupation in the police documents. The nine year old also told the Police that Williams had men over and the kids were left to fend for themselves while their mom and these men were in the bedroom. The baby was found sick with a heavily soiled diaper.
- [189:34]
Adam Carolla
Don't, don't you write dancing, by the way? I mean, that's what I write on my applications or, you know, whenever I have to fill stuff out.
- [189:42]
Teresa Strasser
I write escort.
- [189:43]
Alonzo Bowden
Any part of this story that surprises you? I mean, as soon as you say 24, her hair with a nine year old kid, when you meet you, when you're 24 with a nine year old kid, you can just fill in the rest of that story yourself, can't you?
- [189:56]
Adam Carolla
Why as a society do we not take a look at the folks that are pregnant at 15 and go, you know what? There's a very high likelihood that you're going to have two, three more kids before your 25th birthday and we do not want that to happen. So we need to intervene. Like why does our society not get involved with this? I don't understand it. We get involved every single time we're against birth control.
- [190:19]
Alonzo Bowden
You know why? Because it, because both sides kind of screw themselves on that, right? Because you have like the right wing is their, their whole thing is the, the pro family, pro choice, you know, do what you, you know, have the baby, blah, blah, blah. So, so they feel like, well, we can't tell you not to have babies. Right? You know what I mean? And then, and then on the left wing you have, well, the government is here to help you and some say control you and this and that and the other. But then you get into the individual freedom like neither side, because everything now there's no compromise, right? You have to be on one side or the other side.
- [190:56]
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
- [190:56]
Alonzo Bowden
And a teenager who's pregnant is somewhere in the middle. So they're both like, we will just let her keep having babies because we don't. You know what I mean? Well, how do you pick. You can't pick one side or the other on that one.
- [191:07]
Adam Carolla
You cannot be.
- [191:08]
Alonzo Bowden
Both sides are, both sides are screwed up.
- [191:10]
Adam Carolla
You can't be accused of playing God. And anytime you're messing with someone's reproductive whatever, then you get accused of playing God and no politician will ever get near that. And obviously they're not man enough to ever step up and say this is insane. But my whole thing is, is it is child abuse for a 15 year old to raise a child. Because I mean, think about where your fucking head was at at 15.
- [191:33]
Alonzo Bowden
Yeah, well, I mean, that's the thing to, to arrest her and. And say she's, like, abusing her children. Well, she started having children, according to the math, at 15, right? So it's not abuse. She never was capable of having a child or raising a child. You know what I mean? It's not like she could have been a good mother. How many good mothers? What'd you say she had? How many kids?
- [191:54]
Adam Carolla
She has four kids.
- [191:55]
Alonzo Bowden
Four kids?
- [191:56]
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
- [191:57]
Teresa Strasser
Ages one through nine.
- [191:58]
Adam Carolla
One through nine. But the fact that someone like that has three kids and just shit out another kid a year ago. That's the part where, as a society, I'd like to get involved. Like, I'm not saying fill up her vagina with cement.
- [192:12]
Teresa Strasser
I'm giving.
- [192:13]
Alonzo Bowden
Look, give them the shot. That's good for like.
- [192:17]
Adam Carolla
Sweetie, we're doing this for you. We're doing it for society. We're doing it for everyone. But I just mean we're also doing it for you.
- [192:24]
Alonzo Bowden
You know who should have to do it? The strip club owner. Let's put it on him. Say, listen, buddy.
- [192:29]
Adam Carolla
I'm dancing over, listen, buddy.
- [192:31]
Alonzo Bowden
That's right. They'll buy them boob jobs. You're buying them boob jobs. Give them that pregnancy shot.
- [192:36]
Adam Carolla
Hey, everybody, welcome. Welcome to. Welcome to happy hour over at Nor Plants.
- [192:40]
Alonzo Bowden
There you go.
- [192:42]
Adam Carolla
Yeah, we got contraceptive sponge on stage two.
- [192:47]
Alonzo Bowden
That's the problem with this country. Irresponsible strip club.
- [192:50]
Adam Carolla
Stage four. Stage four. New ring. Yeah. No, yeah, it's a good point.
- [192:54]
Alonzo Bowden
Yeah, make that. What the hell. They're buying boobs. Just slipper shot a nor plant. Like, she's gonna know.
- [192:59]
Adam Carolla
Yeah, she's loaded. She's not taking care of her kids.
- [193:02]
Alonzo Bowden
It's one more needle.
- [193:03]
Adam Carolla
Here's the thing. All the mini bottles of champagne should come with that estrogen mix or whatever they'll do because that's what they get you for. They always go. They do that thing they got to deal with the bartender.
- [193:12]
Teresa Strasser
What if you messed it up, though, and made them super fertile? I see a great comedy.
- [193:18]
Alonzo Bowden
Well, then you send them to. Send them to Utah, and they could be like sister wife number four, where you're not even counting anymore at that point.
- [193:26]
Teresa Strasser
That's kind of. Well, that's the news. I'm Allison Rosen, and I don't know about jester's hats.
- [193:32]
Adam Carolla
No, you don't.
- [193:35]
Alonzo Bowden
I wish I could show you my tattoo. I got a giant jester right here. Complete. Absolutely.
- [193:40]
Adam Carolla
I got a butterfly on the shoulder.
- [193:42]
Alonzo Bowden
I was going to put him on my neck, but I'm not in the NBA.
- [193:46]
Adam Carolla
Who's paying Attention. The new dvd, which is out any day now. You can pre order it@Amazon.com and also inside the vault. You can just. Well, you can go inside the vault TV and you can check for your local listings. Dawson, you got a Pinnacle to lay down. Yeah, you know, I was just thinking about College of the Mines, man. That. That's not the school you want to go to. No, go to Pinnacle College. That's right. You wouldn't learn those kinds of transitions at College of the Minds. How do you design sound in a dark mind? No, man. Later, Husin. Tell you what you want to learn how to place audio into video games or video games your life or is music your life? But you're just not quite good enough to be a rock star. Want to get in the studio? Go to Pinnacle College. Check them out at pinnaclecollege. Edu. Or you can call them at 877-206-6206. Graduates have gone on to work with Aerosmith, Van Halen, Eminem, Guns n Roses. They do have financial aid available and convenient daytime, evening and weekend class. Watching the Oscars tonight and all. A lot of like sound design and scores and all that. It's getting bigger and bigger and it's the stuff they used to just do it during for the lunchtime one that. You know Skippy from Facts Alive, Family Ties. Yeah, sorry. Skippy would host like the week before with all the tech stuff. Now it's all big deal. They're doing it prime time. It's because of 5.1. There's more noise to be heard. Well, where do they go? They go to Pinnacle college. Go to pinnaclecollege.edu. it's a great school. I'm a student there. Good times. All right, so until next time, this is Adam Corolla. Nice job. Mike lynch filling in for bald Bryan and Alonzo Bowden. Always great to see you.
- [195:34]
Alonzo Bowden
Thank you, sir.
- [195:35]
Adam Carolla
Of course, Allison Rosen. And this is Adam Carolla saying mahalo. All right, this is Adam Colo Show 510 from 2011. That does it for days. Cool classics. Make sure to tune in tomorrow for an all new installment. Until then, hollow and get it on. At first I didn't think it was real. I woke up to this blinding light and I was transported to another place. Pluto tv. Then I heard a voice. Come with me if you want to live. There were thousands of movies and shows and they were all free. Truth is, it's just so beautiful. On the of top Pluto TV. Free streaming of Terminator 2, Fringe, Arrow, the 100 and the X Files may cause excitement, loss of sleep, and sudden belief in extraterrestrials. No credit cards or alien encounters necessary. Pluto TV Stream now pay Never at first, I didn't think it was real. I woke up to this blinding light, and I was transported to another place. Pluto tv. Then I heard a voice. Come with me if you want to live. There were thousands of movies and shows, and they were all free. Truth is that it's just so Beautiful on Pluto TV. Free streaming of Terminator 2 Fringe Arrow the 100NEX files may cause excitement, loss of sleep, and sudden belief in extraterrestrials. No credit cards or alien encounters necessary. Pluto TV Stream now pay Never.