← Adam Carolla Show
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- [00:00]
A
In this episode, Chef Andrew Gruel comes in studio. We got news with Alicia Krause. And we'll do all that right after this. Hey, this is Adam Carolla from the Adam Carolla Show. If you care about predictions, you care about props. And nobody does props like betonline. For years we've been the home of legitimate sports betting with with deep markets, sharp odds and players, props that reward real insight from kickoff to final whistle. Betonline gives you live betting, instant updates and in game predictions that move as the action unfolds. Plus elevate your play with BetOnline casino and VIP rewards build built for serious players prediction markets. Follow the conversation. Bet online defines it. Bet online. The game starts here. Thanks for tuning in to the Adam Carolla show. You can watch the full show on YouTube just search Adam Carolla show and hit subscribe so you never miss an episode. You can also get the podcasts wherever you like to listen. And for extra content, ad free episodes and more, you can head over to our substack and sign up today.
- [01:35]
B
From Corolla 1 Studios in Glendale, California, this is the Adam Carolla Show. Adam's guest today, Chef Andrew Gruel. Plus the news with the Washington Examiners, Alicia Kraus and now Adam Carolla.
- [01:49]
A
Yeah, get it on. Got to get it on. The trust to get it on mandate. Get it on. Chef Gruel in studio. Man, I like Andrew Gruel. Had a good time with him on Gutfeld last week. Been watching you and seeing your progression, getting funny, bringing the comedy on Gutfeld and then all the political stuff and the food, it's just a great combination.
- [02:17]
C
I appreciate that. You know what it really is though? I was talking to people after the show, so you guys are so funny. And if I say a couple things, they remember the show is funny and then they think I'm funny. So if we could get booked together again, that'd be great.
- [02:28]
A
I'm ready to go anytime. I love doing that show. Cause it's light lifting and it's not a lot of stress and that's what brings out the best in everybody. You know, Gutfeld's great. Gets there a couple minutes before the show starts. Everyone's loose. You don't have. You don't know. You're too young and too late to the scene to have done all these shows back in the day. But I would tell everyone the reason I always know Ellen is a bitch is because I've done her show, her segment. Producers were scared shitless and they'd come in the room and it's the exact opposite of Gutfeld. They come in, they go, it's funny. They go, you're not gonna talk about meat, are you? And I go, no. And by the way, you have to be on the phone with them for two hours, two days before doing a whole rundown, a whole pre interview. And then you get there and it's like, talk about this, don't talk about that. Here's all stuff. And then you go out there and it's literally you're on a first date and someone goes, don't fart, don't fart. And then you're like, you're nervous. You're up in your head. He's got it right. Sit down, be conversational, chillax, and create the best environment you can for everyone to speak.
- [03:52]
C
Yeah, And I love Fridays because he doesn't have come down from the five, so he kind of makes some jokes ahead of time when he comes into the green room. But I'll tell you a funny story. The first time I went on a couple years ago, they send me topics. They send us over your thoughts. So I think it's so serious. So I print up this whole thing. I mean, it was like four, four pages to send to Mike and the producers, and he's, you know, thanks, et cetera. So then every subsequent show I would do that. So around, I don't know, the 11th or 12th show, I forgot to do it. So I go to Mike, I'm like, oh, my God, I'm so sorry I didn't send you the notes. I can go do something right now. He's like, oh, you've been sending those.
- [04:28]
A
He's like, we look at them now. The moral of the story, kids, is small audience, small budget, not a whole big writing room. No band, no production costs, laid back, not bunch of segment producers. Relaxed, conversational, organic, no bells and whistles. Number one in late night. Okay, so that's what we want. Now you, Chef Gruel, who I think about all the time because your last name is Gruel and that's Dickensian and that's just basically slop for poor people. Like, it's cheap sort of oat, watered down oatmeal and breadcrumbs and stuff for old people. So ironically, you're an incredible chef, but your last name is the worst thing. They used to feed peasants in the workforce, but probably the animals ate better than Gruel because they needed them more than the people that needed their health. So that's comical. But then I was thinking about people like Peter Dinklage. Dinklage sounds like Dinky. It's that he sounds like Dinklage. And now it's all luck of the draw. You could have been Chef Dinklage and been six foot. He could have been Dinkleberry. He could have Dinklage Berry. Now he could have been Gruel and a midget, and that's fine. And then I was thinking about guys like Anthony Weiner who got busted for taking dick pics, essentially, and his last name is Wiener. So that's a weird one. But the other one I was thinking about was, remember the Maryland dad, Kilmar?
- [06:02]
C
Oh, yeah.
- [06:04]
A
Everyone's going, this guy said, I'm sure the left wishes that guy's name was Stewart, but his name was Kilmar Garcia. Kilmar. Kililmar is an 80s bad cop name who's shooting prostitutes. Yeah, yeah.
- [06:19]
C
It could have been Bloom. It should have been Bloom. Well, just so you know, the name of this calculus, it's nominative determinism. So your name will determine.
- [06:27]
A
Uh huh.
- [06:27]
C
Yeah.
- [06:28]
A
Except for you broke out. So Anthony Weiner lived up to his name, Peter Dinklage lived up to his name, and Kilmar lived up to his name, but not Chef Gruel. He broke out.
- [06:41]
C
My stainless steel guy at the restaurants, his name is Rusty.
- [06:44]
A
Oh, perfect.
- [06:45]
C
So we have something in common.
- [06:47]
A
So you went viral over something I've been screaming about for a million years. And so I'm not talking about food. Food is a metaphor for common sense. Basic survival, love, attention, parenting, stewardship. Like food is an umbrella. I'm not talking about food. Like when I say to people and everyone always gets confused, I go, you know what we're missing? Diet and exercise. Diet and exercise. And I go, what about school or whatever? I go, no, no, it's all diet and exercise. What I'm saying is old school, just diet and exercise and the world, all the problems go away. Parents being parents, teachers being teachers, all the stuff we used to have. But the metaphor is just diet and exercise and food. Like, I screamed about this on this podcast years ago, and the Young Turk douchebags went nuts on me that I wanted your kids to starve and stuff. And I was like, I don't want the government feeding your kids. I want you to feed your kids. A, the government's gonna do a horrible job. They're gonna feed them gruel. Secondly, I don't want them hooked on the government starting at five and a half years old. I don't want them depending on the government to, of all things, feed them. I want the parents to feed them. And then everyone does this thing and it's such a leftist bullshit thing. Black people can't get id, so how are they going to vote? They don't know where the DMV is. How would they? They're black. They don't know how to work a computer or anything. Yeah, they don't know the poor bill. They can feed their kids.
- [08:31]
C
That's the whole point that I've been making is exactly that. Because, you know, it comes down to agency.
- [08:37]
A
Right?
- [08:38]
C
And it's not the act, it's not the food, it's not what you're putting food. It's the process. It's coming to the table, it's shopping, it's cooking, it's basic economics. It's stringing out a budget, it's making sure that the meat goes a little bit longer than it otherwise would have. I wrote a piece for Prageru and It's on America's 250th and it's kind of this food focus. Every single dish we know in America came out because it had a function, a working man's function. Now we don't recognize that. Right. We think the food is just Instagram worthy, but there was actually a function behind every famous American dish that was rooted in the working man. You know, their family and their routine and function.
- [09:14]
A
And you had a thing I read about, I retweeted it, hopefully about $15 a day. And so, okay, first thing, I've been screaming about this. First off, everything that's gone wrong, I've been screaming about for years and years and years, which is it doesn't cost a lot to eat healthy. And what they do is they do this. These guys are living in, in a food desert. They invent things like rain bomb or water vent or cyclone bomb or whatever. You just invent stupid at the Sterick River. Yeah, that doesn't exist. But okay, it's called rain douchebags. You can, and I've said a million times, best thing you can eat is a hard boiled egg. And don't tell me you can't afford hard boiled a dozen eggs. I mean, I don't know, it's $3.50 or four bucks or whatever. Okay. And then you can have an orange, you can have an apple and they have some broccol, broccoli or something. Look, it's not exciting, but it's good for you and it's cheap and any parent can do it. And they're like, these kids don't have access. No you can't go down to the Erwan and get the Hailey Bieber shake. I can't fucking afford the Hailey Bieber shake at Erwan. But here's the good news. Your kid's better off eating a hard boiled egg and a carrot than the Hailey Bieber shake down at Erwan in Santa Monica.
- [10:36]
C
Well, the genesis of this argument, which led to that article that you put up there, was that Brooke Rollins said, you can feed people roughly on $15 a day. And then Gillibrand came out and said, oh, my gosh, you elites, you think people can eat on $15 a day? So I said, here's a meal, $15 a day, three meals plus two snacks for one person. And I can change it up, right? And it's great. I posted my price calculus on there. The structure. I did a little Excel spreadsheet. Don't do that often. It was nice.
- [11:04]
A
And.
- [11:04]
C
And I got beat up. Oh, cans are 13 cents where I'm from, not 11. Okay, fine, 1502, right?
- [11:11]
A
First off, fuck you. Feed your kids. Why are we quibbling over what a can of garbanzo beans cost? They're your kids. Fucking feed them. Not the government's job. And I know the left wants to get everyone connected to the government, so they'll vote for them forever, but it's a horrible, debilitating thing. And where is the breakdown, by the way, of Chef Gruel's? We'll put it up there in a second. But I read it and I was like, yeah, of course. But by the way, if it's $15 or it's 1649 a day or it's 2122, it's all academic because it's your fucking kids and you need to feed them. And everyone's fat anyway. So let's talk about this food insecurity thing. Half these kids are morbidly or obese, and your ass is fat, too. So what is going on in terms of sustenance? You're eating the wrong stuff. All right, you got boneless chicken thighs, right? Yep. You got chicken sausage. You got white rice tomato paste. This is a. Wait a minute. What are we looking at?
- [12:10]
C
This is a dish that I did subsequent articles with individual dishes, but this is a good example right here. Because if you break this down, cost per person. This is 423, right? Still fits within a $15 framework based on what you had for breakfast and lunch. This is one meal that I also. I proceeded to keep putting evidence up there to shut people up. But this was a braised Chicken sausage rice dish, which I, if I did this exact dish, maybe I'd mount it with a little more butter at the end and sold it at my restaurant, put it in a nice bowl. You could sell that for 29.99 in LA.
- [12:44]
A
And you're saying it's $4.23 per person? Yeah. Okay. I don't know. And Dawson, you can find the. Just cause it'll drive Andrew nuts. You can find the young turks trying to destroy me 10 years, 15, 12 years ago for saying, feed your own fucking kids. Feed your own fucking kids.
- [13:04]
C
You know what you'll love though? One of the other things that people threw at me was, well, but look at your. And then they would post my restaurant menu. Well, I'm not opening a restaurant to feed people on $15 a day. Like what?
- [13:16]
A
I love it when they do. But what about. It's like, yeah, you run a restaurant, that's a business. People go in, they order wine, they enjoy a cocktail, they eat beautiful lobster. I've been there. It's a treat. It's not your kids and you're not poor. I love when they go, well, what about. They always start thinking too. They go, what about the one person I know who didn't. Okay, that's not. We're talking about. We're talking about a mass situation here. But the 15 buck a day. Now you just brought up a dish, Andrew. Sorry. I wanted to actually just see the initial breakdown of the $15 day. And yes, you had a couple of snacks in there. You're very generous. What was it? Basically, just from memory, breakfast was.
- [14:04]
C
Breakfast was like eggs and toast and yogurt. And then the first snack was, was nut butter and apples. Then lunch was just like a good kind of chicken dish. And then there was an afternoon snack that was. It was beef. I don't recall specifically. It was either like steak bites or steak protein. And dinner was braised chuck shoulder with like coffee espresso rub on there, which people have. Which cheap when you break it down. So you can still go gourmet if you will. Very. Oh, and then two cups of ice cream for dessert. I even had dessert in there. Then they started attacking me. Oh, you want to make people fat by forcing them to eat ice cream? There's no way to win on this. It's a whack.
- [14:41]
A
Well, no, no, you win. They're retarded and they know they are and you win. I mean, that's just how it works. Now go ahead and convince. Look, I drove in here 10 minutes ago. I saw a woman alone in a car wearing a mask. Okay? There is no winning, except for she's a loser. You know what I'm saying? You can't convince the crazy people. But that's cuz they're fucking crazy. But also, these people, they just have a political ax to grind. So they see this, they go, oh, maga Chef.
- [15:11]
C
Aha.
- [15:11]
A
And again, God forbid you fucking take care of your own kids. Now their plan is to feed them, educate them, trans them, and get you out of the picture 100%. So at some day they'll hate your guts. They'll all be trans, gay or lesbian, they'll be missing their dick, and they'll be morbidly obese and angry. But we haven't got to that day yet. Right now, guys like you are interfering with that process.
- [15:38]
C
Yes. We're not allowing them to have a womb in a bag of Doritos. And that's a problem.
- [15:42]
A
Right? All right. Yeah. Got eggs, toast, yogurt for breakfast and then got the nut butter with the cheese. That's the weird one because when you were telling me about the beef bites, I thought. I don't remember that part.
- [15:55]
C
I think that was my second.
- [15:57]
A
Oh, I read your second.
- [15:58]
C
Yeah, I proceeded to do like 10 of these because I started getting so angry.
- [16:02]
A
Oh, okay. Here is Anna Kaska, whatever her name is. Kasparian. Maybe it is when she was with the Young Turks. I don't know if she still is anymore. Seems a little more floating around out there. But anyway, this is, I don't know, 12 years old.
- [16:23]
D
Dr. Drew on the Adam and Dr. Drew Show. And they were.
- [16:27]
A
Yeah, go ahead. I just made the mistake saying feed your own kids.
- [16:30]
D
Discussing the issue of politics. And it turns out that Adam Carolla has become kind of political, which he didn't really see himself doing in the past, but he addressed this in a very, very lengthy discussion. And I want to show you a few snippets of it. Let's take a quick look at the first video.
- [16:46]
A
By the way, I love very, very lengthy. It's a fucking podcast. It's an hour. I don't know. It's a very, very lengthy discussion. Yeah, I do it every day. I talk and then it's called a podcast. But you do a show too, so that's just a show. Go ahead. I've gotten older as I've had a family, as people do when they get older and they have a family and they pay more in taxes and they start looking for school systems for their kids that are usable and things like that. There's. There's a move toward a more conservative life in general as you get older. But as far as my talking points go, you know, stop shitting out kids you can't afford. You pay for their school breakfast. Not because I want you to pay for their school breakfast, but because the kid should know that mom and or dad are paying for breakfast. Making the effort. It's a psychological thing. It's not a matter of, I don't want to pay 39 cents a day for your kid. I don't give a fuck about that. Fucking government takes half my money, does whatever the fuck they want with it anyway. I mean, that's. Your kid's breakfast is the least of my worries. I worry about your kid and the message that's being sent to your kid by mama not making them breakfast. That's what I worry about. But my talking points have not changed. Get your shit together. Get to work. Stop shitting out kids, so on and so forth.
- [18:19]
D
I love that video because for someone who doesn't give a shit about breakfast, he talks about breakfast throughout the entire clip.
- [18:25]
A
All right, pause it. Make your kids breakfast. She's a fucking dope. She's a dope. I mean, now that she's not as dopey as she used to be, because I guess when she used to have to live on the left side of the aisle, she had to repeat retarded stuff. Now she's sort of half a dope because she's drifted over to the right. First off, these guys had to grab this clip of my podcast and make a meal out of it. Pardon the pun for me saying, diet and exercise. Feed your own kids, and I don't care about the money. Which was specifically detailed in the clip. You just ran a clip where I said, I don't care. I want you to take care of your own kids.
- [19:01]
C
The low IQ response to every single seemingly conservative talking point is, you want people to starve. Like, you can always distill it down to that. So you gave them. You threw the meat out there for the lions, and they loved it.
- [19:15]
A
Well, run it. Let me hear her response. Go back. I just want to hear from the beginning her response. She misinterprets the whole thing. But is she misinterpreting it or is she just doing what they do? Good people on both sides. They said to drink bleach. Go ahead.
- [19:33]
D
Someone who doesn't give a shit about breakfast. He talks about breakfast throughout the entire clip. He's like, make your kids breakfast. What I Love about that is it's always the go to argument by some conservatives and usually the least informed conservatives, right? They're really angry about free lunches. And of all the issues, of all the different things that we waste our tax dollars on, that's what I said. What are the issue of school lunches?
- [19:57]
A
I said it. I said I don't care about it. We waste.
- [20:00]
D
She doesn't understand it, all right?
- [20:01]
A
She's literally saying what I'm saying. I don't care about the money. Bitch. I said we waste. Half my money goes to the government. They waste it on everything. I don't care about the money. I want you to feed your own kids. Oh, God, they're so fucking dumb. But they're also kind of evil. Like, really? Okay, so I'm against kids eating. And then you're the hero who's four kids eating. I get it. Hero. Fuck off. I swear to God, like, I wouldn't do that to another broadcaster. This person doesn't like the idea of kids eating. Are you that fucking simplistic or is it some sort of hero syndrome that you all fucking have some narcissistic savior syndrome?
- [20:44]
C
None of these people actually care about feeding people because they don't do anything to help.
- [20:50]
A
I know.
- [20:50]
C
Genuinely care. So one thing I don't talk about in the mix here is so every Monday at the restaurant, we give away 200 meals, real meals. Organic shrimp, chicken, vegetables that are grown from our own farmers. Our meals that are 30, $40 each, we give away 200, sometimes more, sometimes a little bit less. To anyone in Huntington beach or the surrounding community that's struggling, typically it is families I know who comes to get them, families who can pay. And they're like, hey, this is nice actually that you offered this. You know, we're kind of struggling a little bit. We do that. We do that. While I'm simultaneously also saying stop relying on the government as a crutch, I'm a private business and I'm going to put my foot forward because I do want to stop some of these hunger issues. These hunger issues, they germin from our inability to take care of ourselves because of the lack of agency as it's been stripped away over years of government over control 100%.
- [21:45]
A
So the thing is, is in nature, if you are a bird and you can fly and you're able bodied, so to speak, then you can go out and hunt for yourself or a bear or a tiger or a rat, it doesn't matter. But if you're disabled, somebody's gonna have to bring the food to you or you're gonna perish. And you have taken people and you've handicapped them. You've basically went Jeff Gillooly on them. You've fucking attacked them with a bat and busted them up like Tonya Harding's friend. And now they can't hunt for themselves. I want a bunch of fucking able bodied hunters out there. And you're turning them into fat unable by disbodied complainers, people who cannot go out and take care of them. And yes, I mean, if you think about it, you go, okay, what do we have as a society? Well, we have people that are like able bodied people. And the able bodied people are going to. Okay, all right, here it is. We're in a giant Viking ship, right? And we got people rowing now. We got people like me and Chef Gruel and I would bring your name up even if you weren't here.
- [23:10]
C
Thank you.
- [23:12]
A
Who row harder and more than the average person in the Viking ship. And you go, what's that mean? It means I was gone all last weekend working. And when I work every weekend, every Saturday night, two shows, you know, whatever, I then come back and I pay half that in taxes. And then you can use that money for your schools or what have you. I do more rowing. Oh, guess who's going out to Florida tomorrow? Well, this guy. And this guy's going to do five shows in Florida all fucking weekend and pay more taxes. I do. I employ more people. You employ people, you pay more in taxes, you do more rowing than the average person. And by the way, Elon Musk does more rowing than we do. But he rows more because he has more employees, he pays more in taxes, he creates more jobs. And by the way, it's not like, oh, he just creates the guys over at SpaceX when he builds another 2 billion square foot facility to build Texas in Texas to build Teslas, that's electricians and plumbers and carpenter he's employing. He creates so much and so he paddles so hard. By the way, I do love that he's enemy number one and amongst the left, the guy who paddles the most. And the Kilmar Garcias who do the least amount of paddling are poster children for them. But they love that. I grew up with this, I understand it. My mom was this way. It's really shame because they don't do any paddling. So they look at guys. He was born with a silver paddle in his hand. Okay, so some people are gonna paddle more, some people are gonna paddle less. It'd be nice if we're in a Viking ship where everyone paddles. Okay, that would be nice. But there's some people that have such physical ailments and issues that they can't paddle. They're in a wheelchair or what have you, and that's fine. And there are then people who just sit there and do nothing. And then they're the people who are doing the welfare fraud and running the Somalia daycare centers. And those people ain't sitting there, they're dragging their feet in their paddle in the water and they're making it harder. We have to paddle harder because those people are dragging us. There's people like, oh, he's a retired school teacher and yeah, he didn't make a ton of money, but he's living off Social Security now. Fine, just sitting on the boat, okay? Now you want as many able bodied paddlers as you can get, rowers as you can get in your Viking ship. As a society, the more people you got dragging their feet, the more fucked up your society is gonna be. There's always gonna be people that are born with conditions and people confined to a wheelchair and somebody did a header into a swimming pool and is now paraplegic, quadriplegic, what have you. That's fine. But you do not want to take able bodied potential rowers and fuck them up. You want them rowing and taking them and telling them, you know, society systemically racist and you have a target on your back and cops hate black kids and fucking up the schools and poisoning their brain and getting them on the government dole and handing them everything and explaining they can't do anything for themselves that can't get IDs, they need free food. We're taking able bodied people and we're getting them out of the paddling business and into the sitting business.
- [26:50]
C
I'm going to level up your analogy, please. So now in this Viking ship, Elon is on there and he's paddling and he says, you know what? Because he's a little gifted, I'm going to invent a motor. Okay? So now he creates this piece of equipment that means not only do we get to our destination faster, but we can have more Viking ships out there and we can grow, right? But keep rowing everybody, because I'm going to put more motors on these boats. But then somebody in the back of the boat, one of the retards says, wait a minute, look, you know what, we don't need to row anymore because that guy invented something that will preclude us from having to row. And we're okay with this stagnation. So we'll use the motor and all of you can just sit around. And while they're sitting around, that same asshole at the back of the ship is saying, oh, and by the way, Elon's racist. And he's this, and he's this, and he's this. So when they get to their destination, not only do they steal the engine from him and the idea, but they throw him in jail and tax him even more and make him do more work because he's the guy who actually fixed the problem.
- [27:54]
A
Yeah, so, boy, you really added on to my Viking ship. So, listen, everybody is not gonna be paddling. The other thing, too is, I'm paddling every weekend, but I'm an asshole. You're a schoolteacher who never worked a weekend in their fucking life and takes three months off. And you're a hero, except for you don't pay shit in taxes. And I pay more in one fucking weekend than you pay in a year. You need to shut the fuck up. Leave the fucking lead paddlers alone. They're the ones who are moving this shit. And by the way, the version of that is. Or you can do what California does, which is fuck with them enough that they get off the ship and go get on another boat in Texas. And now you're fucked because you're left the foot draggers and the sitters and.
- [28:43]
C
That other Viking ship, in theory, could be your enemy. Like, that's the idea. It's kind of the history of Babylon. You have this amazing community that is like none other. Because everybody was working together. And then as it slowly fell apart, everybody left and then started warring with each other. And that's what we're seeing right now, is that you got the baristarbucks, barista paddlers who are paddling at 10% of what everyone else is paddling, who determine that they are deserve the other 90% based on other people's work or Elon Musk's motor engine, because they went to college and college was listening to that retard in the back of the boat. And they consider that to be erudite.
- [29:23]
A
No, I don't know.
- [29:25]
C
We should. We should open up a restaurant called the Viking Ship. It's where you cook your own food.
- [29:30]
A
And you pay for it. Listen, if they could get Medieval Times off the road, we could get the Viking Ship off the road.
- [29:36]
C
I looked at the economics of Medieval Times, by the way. They do some serious revenue because I took the boys there a couple months.
- [29:42]
A
Back in your city.
- [29:44]
C
They have one in Buena Park. Yeah, over by Knox Berry Farm.
- [29:48]
A
I. Yeah, all right, keep going, because I got a joke.
- [29:51]
C
Well, I'm sitting there, I'm counting heads. I'm looking at how much we paid. You know, you pay a certain amount, and then everything they add on. So they had these flags. My son's like, I want one of those flags. And I went to the lady, hey, do I get a flag? Yeah. $10. So now I got. I got four boys with me. 40 bucks there. And then I start running the math, and I'm like, these things are grossing 10 to 20 million a year. Why are so many shutting down? And. But then I realized that people just aren't into Equus anymore.
- [30:15]
A
How was the tournament?
- [30:17]
C
It was a great tournament. I really got into it, actually. I was really gambling with my buddy, the theatrics. I looked up how much those jousters make. You know, they're ex actors or they're trying to get to another place in their career. They're making one 5200 to go out there and fake jousting, kick each other's butts. I love Medieval Times. I thought it was a great experience.
- [30:36]
A
How was the food?
- [30:37]
C
It was a chicken that they call. It was a dragon, Right? They give you half a chicken on a plate. You eat it with your hands. So they're cutting back on disposable costs. Right there, some microwave potatoes and no green beans. I love it. They just did meat and potatoes, and then you start with tomato soup. They're making good food cost on that. Not horrible, not great. But my kid ate a half a chicken. His protein was through the roof. That night, he was lifting up his bed.
- [30:58]
A
I was laughing because I'm picturing Medieval Times always felt bizarre to me. I've never been to Medieval Times, and it would have been the opposite of anything my family would have done, But I could have taken my kids there. But I was always laughing because it's such a big place.
- [31:18]
C
Huge.
- [31:18]
A
It's a huge place. And you need seed money to get an idea like that off the ground. And when you need seed money, you have to go in and you have to pitch investors. You got guys who have money, and it doesn't matter whether you want to open Medieval Times or you have an idea for an ergonomic lap thing for. You can set your computer on your lap and work on it when you're on a long flight or something. Every idea goes. It's Shark Tank. Here's our idea. Now we need investors. We need seed money. And if it's a stupid idea, you're not going to get any money. But it's a phenomenal idea, then maybe you'll get your seed money because it's going to take a lot to invest to physically build this structure, this building. So I was always picturing the guy going in there and he goes, you know, you know when you're going out your buds and you're having a steak and a martini, but you don't smell any horseshit. And they're like, scratch that, scratch that. You're going out, you got your family, you're taking them out for a big meal, you want to sit down, enjoy yourself. And there's almost no falconry. Ah, damn it. Let's see, what do I got here? How did they get people to go? Like if you said, Adam, invest $100,000 in this guy because he's gonna have people eating a dragon chicken and watching people duel, I'd be like, no, I just want to go to a nice steakhouse and have a drink and sit and listen to little Sinatra. How did they raise the funds? Because you're going to need millions to get. Or was Medieval Times started by like one crazy guy?
- [33:03]
C
I think it's an if you build it, they will come. So if I look at like the real estate in Bua park, that's cheap real estate that they got 20 years ago. So they probably just found some big old plot of land that they figured people were going to build around number one. Number two, remember it was big in the 80s and 90s. What was big then? Princess Bride. Right. All those types of movies. So I think there was kind of. It was an. It was a timepiece. And now you're seeing that parents don't have places to take their kids anymore. So for me, that's why we went. Because I don't want my kids sitting in front of YouTube all the time. I don't want them. And you can't take them to Disneyland anymore because it's $500 for a ride. So I'm like, I gotta get the kids out of the house. Medieval Times, show em some horseshit.
- [33:44]
A
Speaking of kids and like taking them places and stuff, it's so crazy. I was watching the whole 1980 Miracle on Ice hockey game, the doc last night. There's been a few movies on it. Whatever Times created by Spanish businessman Jose Mandanada, late 60s, initially as a barbecue attraction in Spain inspired by medieval history. Chime. Isn't banking usually such a big pain in the neck. You get overdraft fees, minimum balance fees and monthly fees. Chime does none of that. It's a bank built for you, not the 1%. And their customer service is actually real humans, not some robot. On top of that, they also now have the Chime card. That's right. It's a new way to build credit history with your own money and get rewarded every single day. This has made my life much easier and I got the feeling you're going to love it too. It's Chime, right Dawson?
- [34:51]
B
Chime is not just smarter banking. It's the most rewarding way to bank. Join the millions who are already banking fee free today. Head to Chime.com Adam that is Chime.com Adam and Adam Carolla show listeners can earn up to an extra $350.
- [35:07]
D
Chime is a financial technology company, not a bank. Banking services and the secured Chime Visa credit card are provided by the Bancorp Bank NA or Stride bank na. Optional services and products may have fees or charges. See chime.com feesinfo terms apply. Limited time only. Open the new account and complete qualifying activities to earn rewards. Advertised annual percentage yield with Chime plus status only. Otherwise 1% APY applies. No minimum balance required. Chime card on time. Payment history may have a positive impact on your credit score. Results may vary. See chime.com for details on applicable terms.
- [35:27]
E
At Pluto TV we're celebrating Black History Month with our free curated collection of black entertainment. No ifs, ands or buts about catch award winning films like Dreamgirls, Monster's Ball and Selma.
- [35:39]
A
We must make a massive demonstration iconic.
- [35:42]
E
Hit like School Days and Set it off. Plus full seasons of shows like Tyler Perry's Sistas and Power. I got you it star studded brilliant black entertainment and it's all free. This is getting good this month and always on Pluto TV stream now pay never.
- [35:59]
A
Anyway, so what a lot of people forget about the 1980 Olympic hockey team that beat the USSR. Just so you know. A couple weird things. First off, that USSR game was the runner up game. It wasn't the gold medal game. People think we won it. Won the gold medal. Nuh, we had another game to win. I think it was Sweden. And at halftime, for lack of a better term, America was down to Sweden in the locker room on the gold medal. So they had to come back on Sweden to get the gold medal from them. But every one of those guys on that team was just from Minnesota or Montana or whatever and they're all from these places and they're all super hard Scrabble. And their dads were all like coal miners and worked in factories and stuff like that. It was all about using the hose and spraying off the driveway and letting it ice over. And then it was all grit and gumption and just, you know, take it outside. Freezing cold. Borrowed my sister's figure skates. Cause I wanted to play hockey on them. And yeah, I mean, it was all that hardcore, right? That's why those dudes battled so hard. And they, you know, and the coach, Herb Brooks, like ran. Skated him to death and gassed him out and tortured them and stuff. Like, you're going to be in better shape than the Russians. And they all hated him, you know, because he was gassing them out and making them run. You know, he made them. They tied a game in like a preseason practice, runner up game. It's in the movie. But Miracle on Ice or whatever it was, but they tied a team that they should have beat. And when they were done, everyone's heading to the locker room and he's like, no, no, get back out on the ice. And they were like, everyone's gone home. Yeah, well, we're doing gassers. We're going to skate. We're skating. We're going to ruin you guys skating. You didn't try hard enough. And they were all throwing up and falling apart and stuff like. And the guy drove the Zamboni. The guy drove the Zamboni. Oh, yeah. They tied. Sweden with. Yeah, tied. Going in the locker room. Sorry. With a second left. All right. The guy's driving the Zamboni. He's like, you guys gotta clear out. Cause I need to hit the ice and do the Zamboni. And they're like, we're not done. I'm still running. These guys, he went and shut the lights to the place they were in the arena. Kept running. But the point is, these guys were all such hard asses. Cause they came from this and their coach kicked the shit out of them. But they didn't care, even though they hated their coach. And that's why we won that gold. Because guys were tough and they're resilient. And you want to hear hard ass? This is hard ass. And I didn't know this part, Dean. The coach, the coach, Herb Brooks. Sorry. Herb Brooks was the last guy cut on the 1960 team, the Olympic hockey team. The Olympic hockey team has only won gold twice. Once in 1960, when Herb Brooks was the last guy cut off the team. They whittle it down and whittle it down and get down to like two days before the Olympics. They could take 20, and he was 21 and he got cut and that team won the Olympic gold. And then he came back 20 years later, coached the only other team to win Olympic gold to this day in hockey, which is awesome. But here's the hard ass part. He's sitting home in 1960 after being cut from the team, and he's watching the TV with his dad, and he watches the team he was on win the gold medal, which has got to be about the most brutal thing you'll ever experience is the last guy getting cut. And his dad turns to him after they win the Olympic gold medal and said, well, I guess the coach made the right choice. Oh, boy, that is hard.
- [40:09]
C
That's child abuse. Nowadays. Shit.
- [40:11]
A
Right now, that is what made him into a hard ass. And then go win the Olympic gold. I'm sorry, that's what it takes.
- [40:21]
C
People don't realize you need a chip on your shoulder nowadays. You couldn't do any of this if you did the gassing on the ice, all of that. You'd be reported to the school board, out of a job instantaneously.
- [40:33]
A
Yes, yes.
- [40:34]
C
It's kitchens. You know what? It's kitchens Nowadays, right now, you gotta tiptoe around. You can't say anything. You can't say, move your ass in the middle of service. You know the guy over there on pantry, he's got 40 tickets because he's trying to text and you wanna throw him out of the kitchen, throw a glass next to his head. You can't do that. That's assault.
- [40:52]
A
I literally would talk to my daughter and talk to a guy. The guy was in 11th grade, played football, kind of promising, blah, blah, blah. And I was like, oh, you looking forward to your senior year of ball? I was like, no, not playing. I go, why not? Coach is mean.
- [41:06]
C
Yeah.
- [41:06]
A
I go, what do you mean, mean? I said, he's mean. I go, they're all mean. That's. That's their job. That's what they do. I mean, when I would play football, when I was in Pop Warner, I'd get in a three point stance. They didn't come over and tell you how to correct your three point stance. They would kick your arm that was down out. They'd kick it and then you'd fall on your face. And then they go, you got too much weight on that arm. It was like, all right. Well, I guess I learned not to do so much of that.
- [41:38]
C
I was six years old. I remember my soccer coach Would just chain smoke cigarettes, right? Light another Marlboro Red with the new one, the old one, et cetera. And it would always put me on defense and I hated it. And I'm like, coach, I want to get up there, I want to score a goal. He goes, you're an idiot over there picking the flowers. He goes, you want to get up there and play? Well, then stop being an idiot. And I remember thinking in that moment, yeah, you know, I kind of am an idiot, right? I'm over there kicking around the dirt. And then there was this moment of awakening. Kids nowadays would say, mom, the coach called me an idiot. And then they would get sued.
- [42:09]
A
Listen, I've had plenty of times where people just went, you're doing this wrong or you're fucking up or whatever. And I've been like, oh, okay. I mean, yeah, that makes sense. Like, I get it. They're coaches, they want to win. I never, first off, never took anything personally. They wanted to win and they wanted me to be better, to like, help them, help them win, you know, And I didn't have any problems with that. And so they would beat the shit out of us and we'd do those gassers all the time and they didn't give us water or anything. And it was like, that's just the way it worked. And I was fine with it.
- [42:46]
C
But we're losing. That's gone, right? So Trump is the last of the old guard. He's a taste of that, right? That's emblematic of the way America is nowadays. Trump goes out and says something a little bit rough around the edges, and we hear about it for two weeks on MSNBC or what have you. And that era is going away and then what are we left with? What's moving up in the next? You know, the next round of leaders is just this soft and willy nilly stuff. You got Adam Kinzinger out there crying every day on X and people think that that's manly.
- [43:14]
A
I don't know why I have got myself into trouble, because I just call guys soft and pussies and I don't want a fucking soft pussy running everything. And everyone was always like, well, you can't talk that way. We just got our ass handed to us with COVID because so many dudes were so soft and such fucking pussies. And we got fucking steamrolled by a bunch of fucking crazy yentas. You guys didn't fucking stand up. You're soft and you're fucking weak and you're pussies and I don't know how else to describe it. I must use the word pussy and coward. I must have tweeted pussy and coward like 7,000 times during COVID And by the way, people would say to me all the time, they'd go, I lost my grandfather to Covid, so what do you. And I'd go, get under the bed, pussy. That's all I would write back. I would never go, oh, my condolences. All I would do is call them pussies. I hate a fucking puss. I hate a pussy in the dude department. I will take a violent, drunken guy. I will take a racist. I'll take a chain smoking wife beater before I'll take a pussy. Pussies are the fucking worst. Useless. And we are creating so many pussies. And these guys get up there and they start crying and they start complaining and they start bellyaching. And it's because by the way, we got Dawson can probably find it. I think in 50 years we'll all be chicks. My book of 16 years ago, there is, and you can word search it, but basically there's a whole beginning. I think it's at the beginning where I basically said, took down the gym ropes. And when we took down the gym ropes, we fucked ourselves. Because instead of working harder to get up that gym rope, we decided it was shaming the fat kids who couldn't get up the gym rope. So we took them down. Now what we need is the fat kid needs to lose weight so we can get up the gym rope, not take the gym rope down.
- [45:21]
C
So it wasn't pull out of bars, the gym ropes. Stopped eating meat, stopped using real beef fat, replaced everything with estrogen and juiced food and water. I think there's something in the water. Because it can't be a coincidence that every single Polish politician goes up and puts a camera in front of themselves and then the tears start flowing. There's something chemically going on here.
- [45:38]
A
Mayor Fry from Minneapolis, total fucking pussy. And Tim Walls. Tim Walls is great because during the election when he's running with Kamala, he's trying to do the Joe Six Pack. Well, I was a football coach in high school and saw time in namm, you know, so he's doing the thing. So Tim Walls. So just think about this. During that whole time, he's a chubby, aw shucks kind of Minnesota guy. And it's the kind of thing where the camera comes around. He's like, oh, hey, caught me Gap in the plugs in my International Harvester. I didn't Know there was going to be a camera here, fellas. Yeah. Later on, we're going to Little Ice, fish in and maybe swing by the Golden Corral, like to eat there. And now he's just billowing soft, fucking lost £40. Loves the fucking training the kids, transing the kids, and loves the fucking illegals pussy now. So he was that guy back then, but he had to fucking beef it up for. Cause Kamala was like, I'm a crazy half black chick who's totally off the rails, and I want to spend money to trans illegal prisoners in California, so I got to fix that. So I need a chubby guy who pretends to hunt and gap the plugs on his International Harvester. So I need that guy. So he'll go, oh, okay, I'll be that guy. And then later on he's like, oh, fuck it, I'm gonna get AIDS. I'll drop £40 and I'll start crying.
- [47:04]
C
Yeah, well, the thing of it is, I can always show you who's a man based on how they eat and what they eat. Tim Waltz did this video the other day, went to Culver's. He's like, back in Minnesota, I'm eating the real food here. He's eating french fries with his pinky hanging out, right? You know, the french fried dip with the pinky.
- [47:20]
D
Don't.
- [47:21]
C
If you're gonna do it, show me a triple burger here, the butter burger, and take a real bite like a real man. But you know the french fried dip with the pinky out, that was it for me.
- [47:30]
A
All right, well, you tell me when you find the gym rope. I'm pretty sure it's at the beginning of. In 50 years, we'll all be chicks. But I can't really.
- [47:39]
B
We don't have a hard copy of the book, so I'm searching to see if I can find it online.
- [47:43]
A
Oh, I should have a hard copy of one of my books. Yeah, yeah, I lay it out. But anyway, we're in trouble now. I was thinking today about Billie Eilish and her stolen land and her land, which is 4 acres and 14 million bucks. But now everyone's fragging her, which she deserves because she sounds like an idiot. And it's not really. Here's the problem in life. Let me explain something. It's not Billie Eilish. She's a rich, kooky, dumb chick. It's the dude standing next to her, Phineas, her brother, who's nodding his head the whole time. Dudes, stop nodding and start talking. Go. Shut up, bitch. You know what the fuck you're talking about. But they sit and they nod, and they just keep going. But as the first people of the greater Los Angeles Basin, we do understand that our home is situated in our ancestral land. Eilish has not contacted our tribe and directly regarding her property. Now she should give the property back. That'd just be an awesome. She's got enough money. She can do it. It's a palatial estate, and there's four acres, and it would house a lot of Indians. But here's a thought experiment. Picture this. And here's what I want to say to all you people. I would like to get the Tongva tribe in one room. Like I would get. I don't need all of them. Let's say the elders. Let's say. Here's what I would do. I would like to get. Is it the Tongva? How do we spell that? T O, N. Tongva. All right, here's what I'd like to do. I would like to go to a Courtyard by Marriott, and I would go into that little meeting rooms they have off to the side that hold about 35 people when you're doing your real estate seminar. And I'd say on one side, I'd have Billie Eilish, and on the other side, I'd have, like, eight elders from the Tongva tribe. And then I would get up there. At first, I'd do the thing where I turn the lights on and off a couple times to get their attention. Okay. Okay. And I'd yell, settle. Settle in. Settle. And then I'd go up there, and I'd go first, Billie Eilish. You get up there, you start running your fucking soup cooler. You're dumb, you're young, you're uneducated. You talk about shit you don't know about. All you do is virtue signal to a bunch of fucking partisan hacks that are in the fucking crowd. And so they know you're gonna go ice out, and they're all gonna go nuts. And then you're gonna go, nobody's illegal, and this is none of our lands, and no one can be illegal on someone else's land. And you're just gonna talk and talk and talk, and then you're going. You're gonna get your security detail and get back in your armored limousine and go drive up to your $14 million house. So you need to shut the fuck up. And by the way, you said it, so you need to do it now. Follow your own words. And we're going to give the Tongva Tribe, your 4 acres and your 7,200 square feet and your $14 million home. Okay, that's for you. Now, Tongva tribe, she can give you the acreage and she can give you the house. And then you guys can all move into the house. And all you would do is fuck it up. That place would be a shitbox one year from now. You can't not fuck it up because you sit around and look for free shit instead of going out like your forefathers and hunting, you're sitting around and foraging. You guys are fucking bears going through the dumpster of life instead of out in the fucking forest running down some food. So, yes, she could give you her free house, you guys would all move in, and when I walked in there, a year from now, it'd be nothing but empty beer bottles and condoms everywhere. So fuck you.
- [51:30]
C
Who's catering this event?
- [51:32]
A
You are.
- [51:32]
C
All right, good. Lots of rolls. There we go. This would be a good meeting.
- [51:36]
A
We have. They're both true statements. All right, we have Dawson with my gym rope.
- [51:42]
B
Sorry, first thing was the gym rope. Remember that thing that stretched from the floor to the ceiling in your gym class that you could never climb? The constant reminder that you were inferior? The only apparatus I'm aware of that makes it possible for you to be ridiculed while people stare at your nuts? Most of the kids couldn't make it to the top, but that wasn't the point. The point was you had to try while some middle aged guy in a windbreaker who couldn't make it up a flight of stairs yelled at you. At some point, somebody decided the ropes needed to be removed. Sparing the kids the rod is a good thing. Sparing them the rope is a horrible idea. We should have put Lardo on that rope, given him a three Mississippi head start, and then sent a subway rat scurrying after him. But we didn't want to shame the boy, so we took them all down, gave everyone a participation trophy and a pamphlet on secondhand smoke and sent them to a cultural diversity seminar.
- [52:39]
A
This shit's 16 years old. We're here now, everybody. Bunch of fucking fat, lazy kids that are angry about the rope and a bunch of dumb broads who decided to take the rope down.
- [52:49]
C
Lardo's a senator.
- [52:51]
A
That's true. Illinois, all right. Or the governor of Illinois. We'll take a quick break. We'll bring Alicia Krause in. She'll do news. Andrew's going to hang out, bang away some news with us. Do that right after this. Factor. Let's be honest, it usually takes a lot of effort to eat healthy. I'm always busy with comedy and podcasting. So I get back late and I'm not about to make a five course meal. That's why Factor doesn't ask you to meal prep or follow recipes. It removes the entire problem. Two minutes real food done. The meals have lean proteins, colorful vegetables and whole food ingredients. I actually ate their creamy mushroom pork chop last night and it was delicious. Factor is always fresh, never frozen and ready in two minutes. It's Factor. Right?
- [54:01]
B
Dawson, head to Factor meals.comacs50off and use code ACS50OFF to get 50% off your first Factor box. Plus free breakfast for one year offer only valid for new Factor customers with code and qualifying auto renewing subscription purchase. Make healthier eating Easy with Factor.
- [54:23]
A
Homes.com Some might say Homes.com is the best home shopping site. It may be Homes.com's super comprehensive and transparent agent directory. Or Maybe it's at. Homes.com is the only site that always directly connects you with the listing agent. Who knows the home the best, perhaps. Well, it's because homes.com has the most in depth neighborhood content of any home shopping site that's extensively researched to highlight the personality of each neighborhood. Well, I think it's all the above. Homes.com goes above and beyond to bring home shoppers the in depth info they need to find the right home. Right now. Homes.com that's homes.com We've done your homework.
- [55:22]
B
It's time to check Adam's voicemail.
- [55:29]
A
Hey, Adam, John from Cleveland here.
- [55:32]
C
I was just making my coffee at.
- [55:34]
A
Work and when I opened the garbage to throw my my rag, there was a stir stick sitting right on the top of the garbage. So I picked it out, used that stir stick in my coffee. Thought you'd appreciate it.
- [55:46]
C
Get it on.
- [55:48]
B
You can leave us a message at 888-634-1744.
- [55:53]
A
Yep. Good. Expose yourself to germs. Otherwise you're gonna end up like one of these kids with all the allergies. All right, Alicia Krause is here. I am chef gruel, by the way. American Gravy is online show. His stuff online is fantastic and everyone should follow him. New episodes every Tuesday and Thursday. All right, so Alicia Krause.
- [56:14]
D
Yes, sir.
- [56:15]
A
Yeah.
- [56:15]
D
Ready for some breaking news?
- [56:17]
B
Sure.
- [56:17]
D
I did not know that our former second lady. And thank God, not first lady of the United States Jill Biden was married before.
- [56:24]
A
Oh, he didn't.
- [56:25]
D
Did either of y' all know this.
- [56:26]
A
Yeah, okay.
- [56:28]
D
Chef is like, I don't know if I thought I knew this. So according to tmz, who they're saying broke the story, Joe Biden's ex husband was charged with murdering his second wife.
- [56:37]
A
He said, I think he accused, at some point, he accused Biden of stealing his wife away from him.
- [56:47]
D
Oh, that's weird because the timeline doesn't add up. They. Joe married Bill. His name is William Stevenson, goes by Bill. Jill married Bill in February of 1970, when he was 23 years old and she was a student at the University of Delaware. In 1974, Jill and Bill separated and went through, apparently, according to tmz, once again, a nasty divorce. Joe Biden married Jill a couple of years later in June of 1977. 74 to 77 is a pretty decent gap. So maybe the guy was a little.
- [57:14]
A
I'm going with your right on that. But obviously if he killed his wife.
- [57:20]
D
It'S really scary and sad apparently.
- [57:23]
A
But I mean, there's also, you know, there's a version of it where it.
- [57:26]
D
Works where, where Joe stole.
- [57:29]
A
Well, you don't get married. Some people date for years before they get married. Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
- [57:34]
D
Not in the olden days though.
- [57:35]
A
Yeah, I know it sounds old, but I was old.
- [57:39]
D
So he. Linda Stevenson was pronounced dead at the scene on December 28. She was found unresponsive in their living room that night, 11:15pm by local police. The New Castle County, Delaware police officers unsuccessfully administered aid at the scene and he was reportedly cooperating with police the entire time. The cause and manner of the death have not been released. Dispatch audio from the incident mentions cardiac arrest and he is the one that called 911, but he was arrested this past Monday and is now held in jail on a $500,000 bond.
- [58:10]
A
So William Bill Stevenson, first husband, the guy we're talking about, claimed that Jill had an affair with Joe Biden while she was still married to Stevenson. Stevenson has publicly stated that he was betrayed by the Bidens. That's what he says. Now, I don't know about that. Now I do know Joe Biden is a piece of shit liar because there's weird stuff there's big stuff people do and then there's little stuff people do. And I focus more on the little stuff, cuz that's what really makes you a sociopath. And like that time when he was explaining that he was the first Fulbright scholar in his thing and top of his law class and had a dual degree and was the only one who got five scholarships and it turned out none of it is true. I'm like, that sounds kind of innocuous. That makes you a sociopath. If you're gonna say that into a microphone, it means you're a fucking insane liar. Makes you an insane liar. And when his wife and his kid got killed by the truck driver, he kept saying the guy was drunk.
- [59:11]
D
Yeah.
- [59:12]
A
And the family went, he was not drunk. Would you please stop saying he was drunk? And by the way, you don't have to say he was drunk. He just ran a red light. Or maybe actually his wife was at fault. Whoever got killed was at fault. But stop saying he drank his lunch. And he kept saying it. Yep. Which makes him a socio fucking path.
- [59:32]
C
He also said he was the first black president. I mean, so that might have been brain breakage. But then remember his uncle who fought the Trobriander tribe on Papua New guinea in World War II and saved America?
- [59:43]
D
All these stories.
- [59:44]
A
Yeah. And he had to fight pop tart with a chain down at the swimming pool. All right, let's see. Bill Stevenson.
- [59:50]
D
I mean, we have a picture of this guy. He looks a little kooky.
- [59:53]
A
He claims he introduced Joe and Jill in 1972 and their relationship started in 74 when he was still married to her. Blah, blah, blah. Mention incidents such as Jill declining to go with him to meet Bruce Springsteen because she said he needed Bob. I can't even read. All looked after Joe's boys. I don't know, they knew each other. Something. Maybe there was crossover. I can't judge. But anyway, this guy's nuts.
- [60:21]
C
He's saying he made the intro between the two of them because that's a big deal. You never make the intro.
- [60:26]
D
No, I mean, so never let your second husband be someone that your first husband introduced you to.
- [60:31]
C
Yeah, exactly. There's some math to it.
- [60:34]
A
Listen, famously, Lee Majors is married to Farrah Fawcett. Farrah Fawcett is the most desirable person on the planet. In 1978, he, Lee Majors is going out of town. So he has Ryan o' Neill look after her. The greatest coxman in Hollywood. Look after the greatest model in Hollywood. And then he goes to like Canada to shoot a film and what happens?
- [61:00]
D
Why don't they just travel with their spouses everywhere?
- [61:04]
A
Cause he went and fucked someone in Canada.
- [61:06]
D
Oh, well, then he had it coming.
- [61:07]
A
I have no idea where he went, but he literally told Ryan O', Neill, look after my piping hot 28 year old wife.
- [61:14]
C
Pick like, you know, one of your big fat ugly friends.
- [61:17]
A
Be like, look, look, I want you.
- [61:19]
D
To look after my lady where men and women are different. Like if I leave town, I don't call Gisele Bunch in and ask her to come help my husband. Right, Right. No, my mother in law does that. But also it could be his.
- [61:31]
A
She calls Gisele Bundchen. Or am I missing my mother in law?
- [61:34]
D
Like what helps him when I'm out of town. But I'm saying that like you could have your big fat friend come over and your wife would be like, well, he could. And he cleans and he like got the kids ready for school and he laughs at my jokes and he thinks I'm smart. Whereas men are like hot and women are like so much more diverse and.
- [61:53]
A
We have different qualities to hear about you. You will hear me get into this with Megyn Kelly. But the. Okay, I'll try to describe it clearly. Tiger woods, his first wife, Norden, blonde, whatever. The best looking person, Aaron something.
- [62:14]
D
She was gorgeous.
- [62:15]
A
Yeah, wasn't that she had a name anyway. She was the best looking person I've ever seen. She was a nanny. So somebody let that thing into their house. Not.
- [62:26]
D
She was a nanny for another pro player, wasn't she?
- [62:28]
A
Yeah, she was a nanny for another. I mean some. That had to be the most secure wife in the world to see that as a 19 year old.
- [62:34]
D
Elin. Was it Eli Nordegren?
- [62:36]
A
Yes, yes.
- [62:37]
D
Elin Nordegren.
- [62:39]
A
That's the point. I mean. All right, so the point is. Yes, she was a nanny for another.
- [62:45]
D
Couple of really stupid or they're really self confident.
- [62:48]
C
But look at Schwarzenegger's nanny.
- [62:50]
A
Yeah, well that's what I discussed. I said guys will got a lot of range. But see, here's the whole side. Schwarzenegger's nanny was their nannies. Elon is like a first night nanny. That's like you're gonna have trouble getting through the first weekend without coming at her. And Schwarzenegger's nanny, that's year three, eventually get around to that nanny.
- [63:17]
C
That's grinding.
- [63:18]
A
Yeah, that's a grinding nanny. Police department said that Hunter Biden's wife is driven into the path of the tractor trailer. A truck driver identifies curse, whatever. And it ruined that guy's life because it would. If you killed somebody. Well, first off, it would just ruin your life killing someone anyway. But then to have the guy turn into Joe Biden and constantly say you were drinking is cruel. It's insane. And it shows. Like maybe you can pick up a couple of sympathy points, but you got enough. Your Wife and kid's dead. That's enough.
- [63:50]
D
The traveling on the train to D.C. as a single dad while serving the constituents of Delaware is a good enough political story that you don't need to defame.
- [63:59]
A
Fucking sociopath. Liar. Which is weird that people. Cuz I know the thing is like, well, maybe he wasn't good at governing, but he's good dude, you know?
- [64:08]
C
Good dude.
- [64:08]
A
No, not a good dude. All right, sorry. What's next? What is it?
- [64:13]
D
Next story. We actually have a video to set this up because remember a few years ago when Trump called a lot of countries, including Haiti, dumps and shithole countries.
- [64:21]
A
Yes.
- [64:22]
D
Well. And Democrats and celebrities were like, how dare he? Haiti is one of the most beautiful, accepting and wonderful countries.
- [64:29]
A
Right.
- [64:30]
D
Well, they're changing their tune.
- [64:32]
A
All right. This is whom, by the way. Hold on, hold on. We have to stop. We have to say who.
- [64:38]
D
The person who's talking to this is Frederica Wilson.
- [64:40]
A
Who is the what? Of Texas.
- [64:42]
D
Frederica. She's a congresswoman.
- [64:43]
A
Yeah, she's Texas.
- [64:45]
D
I believe so. I mean, if you're wearing that hat, you probably are.
- [64:48]
A
Here we go. And they are terrorized. They are terrorized Haitian nationals. This is cruelty, this is inhumane, and this is a death sentence because we already know the consequences. Because in Haiti, there's open warfare and rape, there's ravaging violence against women and children. There are no school days, no work schedules. You do what the gangs want you to do and they are terrorized.
- [65:24]
D
So she's saying we can't send illegal immigrants from Haiti back to Haiti, cuz it's such a shithole, by the way.
- [65:30]
C
You know, the full circle.
- [65:32]
A
Pacoima is a shithole and San Fernando's a shithole and parts of Chatsworth are shitholes. But you could actually go there and live. Doesn't sound like you'd be raped and terrorized and you couldn't go to school, you know, so this is worse than a shithole, actually. This is a rape hole, which is worse than a shithole. So. Yeah, I know. They always make some. Whatever it is they say always comes around to them being wrong or being hypocrites or whatever. All of it.
- [66:02]
D
So I don't think she'll be vacationing there. No girls weekend.
- [66:05]
C
But nobody covers it. That's the thing. Nobody covers it. Just like I didn't know that Biden had said that about the drunk driver. I always assumed it was a drunk driver cuz he'd said it so many times. Sorry, I didn't know that wasn't true. Until like two years ago when I did a little deep dive. No one will do any deep diving.
- [66:20]
A
Well, what they're not gonna do anymore, like if you do watch that famous clip Dawson, about Biden in that late 80s when he's talking about his degree and graduating at the top, top half of his class and the only one with the dual degree and all that kind of stuff, and then they just come on the evening news and they just go, he's lying about all that stuff. They wouldn't do that to a Democrat anymore. That was just the evening news.
- [66:47]
D
Walter Cronkite used to do that like Tom Roger.
- [66:50]
A
No, you'll see. This goes well into the 80s and 90s. You know what I mean? You would have to go find Fox or you'd have to go watch listen to Tucker Carlson's podcast or something. That would not be on the evening news that they would just do that to a Democrat anymore. Just call him a liar.
- [67:06]
C
What's funny, though, is the way in which they call Republicans liars is they try and connect these dots that don't exist. So, for example, if the story is Matt Gaetz was eating a chicken sandwich when he said the.
- [67:18]
A
Right.
- [67:18]
C
And then they say, well, you know, fact check, not true, because he actually wasn't eating a chicken sandwich. It was a burger. Therefore it's all fake.
- [67:25]
D
Well, I remember, like, SNL actually made a part of cultural conversation that Sarah Palin couldn't see Russia from her house.
- [67:31]
C
Right.
- [67:32]
D
Because of the Katie Couric interview.
- [67:33]
C
Yep.
- [67:34]
D
When they were like, well, where's. How close is it Was based off of a Katie Couric interview in which she was like, how far is Russia? And she got it off by like a few months.
- [67:41]
A
Yeah, but here's the other. No, the other thing they do is now if they had to report this story, they wouldn't say Biden's a liar. They would say. They would say Republicans pounce on the story. All right, here's the story. It's funny to do the new questions stem from taped remarks of Biden during an April campaign appearance in New Hampshire. I went to law school on a full academic scholarship. The only one the in. In my. In my class to have a full academic scholarship. Went back to law school and in fact ended up in the top half of my class. I was the outstanding student in the political science department. At the end of my year, I graduated with three degrees from undergraduate school and 165 credits. Only 123 credits. Biden now concedes he did not graduate in the top half of his law school class, that he does not have three degrees from college and that he was not named outstanding political science student in college. Newsweek says Biden actually went to school on a half scholarship, ended up near the bottom of his class and won only one degree, not three. Joe Biden ranked 76th in the class of 85 at the University of Syracuse Law School. I mean, this guy comes off this whole thing as a flyweight. Now Biden says Newsweek is right. His memory had failed him. His memory failed him. He's a sociopath. By the way, I never went to college, but Dr. Drew is a board certified physician, addiction medicine specialist. And he went to Emory, I think, sorry, Amherst. And then he went to USC or whatever. And I go, is there any part of your degrees that you forgot about.
- [69:15]
D
All that hard work?
- [69:15]
A
Do you have an engineering degree that you thought you had but you never really had it unless you pretty much know if there's anything you know, it's your fucking kids names and your degrees, right? So what is going on? O'Reilly, O'Reilly Auto Parts. Yeah, they're in the business of keeping your car on the road. They offer friendly, helpful service and all the knowledge you need. If you can't figure out what's going on with your car, they can because they're professionals. They're always my first call. They have thousands of parts in stock and can test your battery for free. Need wipers, a brake light or a quick fix? They've got the right part for you. Everyone who works there is knowledgeable and friendly. The professional parts people at O'Reilly are your one stop shop. If you're into DIY auto stuff, that's the place to go. And you can go in store or you can go online as I do. I always go in store because I like the smell of an O'Reilly. It smells like victory to me. O'Reilly Auto, right, Dawson, stop by O'Reilly.
- [70:26]
B
Auto Parts a day or visit us at o'reillyauto.com Adam that's o'reillyauto.com Adam Pluto.
- [70:32]
E
TV we're celebrating black History Month with our free curated collection of black entertainment. No ifs, ands or buts about catch award winning films like Dreamgirls, Monster's Ball and Selma.
- [70:44]
A
We must make a massive demonstration.
- [70:46]
E
Iconic hits like School Day and Set It Off. Plus full seasons of shows like Tyler Perry's Sisters and Power. I got you it. Star studded, brilliant black entertainment. And it's all free. It's getting good this month and always on Pluto TV stream now pay never.
- [71:03]
C
That's unbelievable. But the thing is is that this would, as you said, this would never get covered right now. And furthermore it comes back to immigration. Right. So you have all these clips of people like Biden and, and Bernie Sanders and all these people saying that we can't have the immigrants here. They're taking workers, they're way and American workers and they are completely silent on any of that. Wouldn't the news want to cover it in the same manner they cover this?
- [71:27]
D
You would also like to Frederic Wilson's point, if there are such horrible gang related rapes and murders and kids can't go to school and businesses can't open and operate, then shouldn't we be having stricter requirements of funneling those people into the states and allowing the women and children who actively need asylum here in. But maybe not the bad guys with guns.
- [71:49]
C
These are not smart people. They can't think that far. Like you're connecting dots. There's one dot on their kind of dot dashboard and these people are handed a piece of paper to read it. She probably hadn't read it no more than three minutes before she went up.
- [72:01]
D
There for the cameras.
- [72:02]
C
That is it. That is. I need people to understand this, how stupid politicians are. These are not the best and the brightest. Nobody wants to do it. And the only reason half these people do want to do it is because they're corrupt or just dumb.
- [72:14]
D
And we came to that without any college degrees. I don't think between any of us.
- [72:18]
A
Ooh, no degrees.
- [72:19]
D
No degrees. Drop out.
- [72:21]
A
Oh, they didn't have a home college. Homeschool college you could go to.
- [72:25]
D
I went to New York to go to college and then I dropped out to start working for Hannity because I was like, I'm going to school to work in media so why would I get into debt to get a job, by the way?
- [72:36]
A
I would have no idea why anyone would go to college and the expense is insane.
- [72:41]
C
And I got culinary arts.
- [72:44]
D
Oh yeah, I'm a liberal, but that's like going to a trade school.
- [72:48]
C
Well, I was a college degree.
- [72:49]
D
Yeah. Oh it is.
- [72:50]
C
Yeah.
- [72:51]
D
Yeah, there's my ignorance.
- [72:52]
C
Went back for business. But that was a huge mistake. So I'm sorry guys, I'll leave now.
- [72:57]
D
Go run for office.
- [72:58]
A
Yeah, yeah, I went.
- [72:59]
D
Were you top of your class?
- [73:01]
A
Yeah, I went. Vocational training all the way. Or you can just go down to a radio station, drive the van and learn how to how everything works.
- [73:09]
D
Yeah, just enjoy pour coffee.
- [73:10]
A
Yeah.
- [73:11]
D
I mean not anymore though. Maybe podcasting. You could go Internet. But not good old talk radio is not the same as it once was. A bajillion years ago when I started.
- [73:19]
A
No, that's true. And also, people don't, like, kids are too soft to pay their dues now. They don't want to go. Like, they show up as an intern, and then they show up their first day, and then you go, all right, go on a Starbucks run. And they go, I didn't come here to go get Starbucks.
- [73:36]
D
I mean, you probably deal with that at the restaurant all the time.
- [73:38]
C
That's all it is. People go to culinary school or VO tech program or any of this, which used to be something that was of any value. And I say, okay, everybody starts on the dish pit. I don't care who you are, you start on dish pit. I spend most of my time on the dish pit. Today they go, I'm not here to wash dishes. Then what job do you want? I want to be the chef. We're not hiring for a chef. Well, I went to culinary school, so. Sous chef. I'll take a sous chef as long as you pay me six figures. Like, get out of here. So we know now we. I started this about 10 years ago. If you went to culinary school, you don't even get a look at the resume.
- [74:08]
A
Oh, really?
- [74:09]
C
Don't even get a look? Nope, nope. Every single person that's worked for me that went to culinary school ended up walking on the job. No call, no show. My entire crew right now, it's been with me for 15 years. Not a single one. My chef right now started off, this was his second job. You know, his first job was working the overnight shift at an old folks home cleaning up poop. And then I pulled him from that job. And the guy is so great. And we even run into that problem nowadays cleaning up old people's poop because, you know, it happens. So he's the man for the job. Plus he's a chef of 15 years.
- [74:42]
A
You say things have changed because of Ozempic?
- [74:45]
C
Yep.
- [74:45]
A
You noticed it?
- [74:46]
C
Yeah, Just there's. You know what it is, as crazy as this sounds. So as I joke about working the dish pit. So when I go into a restaurant, the way our restaurant is designed, and you look down and I can see into the dining room from the dish pit. And we don't have a door there for that purpose. So what I do is I'll work the dish pit here and there because I want to see what's left on the plates. There's something consistently Being left on a plate. Then I got to either change the menu item or we're over portioning. Right. That's a way to save money. You serve a little bit less, but nobody notices because they don't need it anyways. Every plate that's coming back now was fries. Fries, fries, fries. People aren't eating the fries or the burger with the bread picked away.
- [75:18]
D
But fries are one of the cheaper things for you to make in the kitchen, Right?
- [75:23]
C
Used to be. Not anymore. The price of potatoes went up in 18 and they never came back down again. Wow.
- [75:27]
D
I think it's fascinating. The people that I've talked to that are doing GLP1 stuff are. And I feel like so many moms. Maybe it's an LA mom thing. Like so many moms are doing like peptides and microdosing. Glp.
- [75:38]
C
Microdosing.
- [75:38]
A
Yeah.
- [75:39]
D
And is. They said that it's increased their desire for like fruits and vegetables and decreased their desire for like carbs and proteins.
- [75:47]
C
Yeah.
- [75:49]
D
Which is weird though because you need to increase your protein when you're on it because part of the weight that you're losing is muscle mass.
- [75:54]
A
Okay.
- [75:56]
C
But the microdosing. Explain that. Again, the micro dosing is like a marginal amount.
- [76:00]
D
A marginal amount that you're supposed to be working with a doctor, like a friend of ours that we're on Fox with from time to time, Dr. Sheila Nazarian.
- [76:06]
C
Okay.
- [76:06]
D
It's like I've been doing it for two years. Everybody should be doing this. That she thinks it has long term benefits. And on top of that, like you're trying to get rid of that last like five to ten pounds and you're working out, you're eating healthy. The GLP one is going to help you reset and do that.
- [76:19]
C
Interesting.
- [76:20]
A
Yeah.
- [76:20]
D
I don't know. I'm very skeptical. I'm like, I'm. I'm like about to be 40, so I'm having a midlife crisis of like, should I be doing all these things? And I haven't done any of the things. And it's like they kind of scare me. Actually.
- [76:31]
C
I got excited when I heard micro dosing. Just. Just that the word was like, oh, I can and something's gonna be a little off. But then I found out it was peptides. It wasn't as exciting.
- [76:40]
A
The microdosing thing, I have heard from reputable doctors before. But there's also a version where you just don't eat the french fries. You don't need to inject something and then don't eat french fries. You can just not eat the french fries.
- [76:54]
C
It goes back to the agency.
- [76:56]
A
Yeah.
- [76:56]
D
Self control. What?
- [76:57]
A
I'm scared about the agency and the self control and the discipline part. I do not. I have a theory and I stand by this theory, which is I have two or three people, particularly in my life, who never had to work out, could eat whatever they wanted and looked amazing in a bikini and a bathing suit like they just did. They're out there, bitches. They're out there. I was thinking men, women. There's men and women. I knew them both and they. Both unicorns. They can do it. You don't see it that often, but once in a while they're out there and they ate like shit. They never worked out. They did whatever they want. They look good in their underpants. Okay? Both of them had zero discipline.
- [77:47]
B
Wow.
- [77:48]
A
They never had any discipline. And it fucked their lives up. Oh. Because they never had the discipline of having to work at it.
- [77:56]
D
Work for their beauty.
- [77:57]
A
Do you know, eat, Think about what you're. They wanted a donut, they ate a donut. They didn't want to work out, they didn't work out. They never worked out. They ate a donut. They didn't care. But it trickled into other facets of their life. I could see that there were shitty students and lazy people and they never really got their shit together. And there's other people that are like, kind of like, oh, if I eat one donut, it goes right to my hips. So it's like, no, thank you. But what they're exercising is agency and discipline. They're disciplining themselves. And the Ozempic thing, there's gonna be a discipline issue coming. We're already there. We're already having. This is a discipline issue. We're dealing. And I don't mean disciplining your kids. I mean self discipline. I was like thinking about it this morning. Everything you do in this society, success wise, is really just about work and work ethic. And look, I'm as guilty of it as the next guy. I could do more. There's more. I could do a lot. I could be a lot more disciplined in my life as well.
- [79:05]
D
And he says that right before he promotes his three sold out shows. Four different studies.
- [79:09]
A
That's what I'm saying. I do more than most, but I don't do. You know, it's like I should get up at 5 every morning and work out. I do not do that. It would be better. I should. And when I think about all the people I know that are successful, we Always talk about how gifted this person is or whose daddy is, or he was born on third base and thought he hit a triple. Or if I was gifted like you and dance or comedy or something, I could. Whatever. No, no, no. These people always outwork everybody.
- [79:40]
C
Well, It's Malcolm Gladwell's 10,000 hour rule where he studied and said, funny enough, like Beethoven, they said he was a gifted child pianist. But at the age of seven, he had actually put in 10,000 hours of practice because his were maniacal. They would make him play 12, 18 hours every single day. So he just happened to put it in at an earlier age. It was not. He's gifted that he could perhaps read a little bit. There was some muscle memory that built up quicker. It was the 10,000 hours. It always comes down to 10,000 hours.
- [80:09]
A
Yeah. And I don't know. So when you're poor and dumb and you come from where I come from, which is the land of the poor and the dumb, you just look at rich people or successful people or business people, and you just go, I don't even know who this guy is with. He's got his credit card and his Mercedes Benz. We didn't have credit cards. We're just pouring dumb. Then I got older and I got exposed to these people and I started spending a lot of time with them. And I realized super quickly, they're not any smarter than the dumb idiots who were poor with me. But they were. They were motivated, like, they weren't lazy and they worked real hard and. Yeah, right, right. They weren't gifted at anything. They just were focused and they outworked people. And there's a. I mean, there's a kind of a physical version of that. There's mostly a mental version of it, but in this country, and maybe not Haiti, but here, you fucking do whatever you want, but. But you gotta kind of get on it. But it's there, but you gotta do the work. You don't have to be fat at all. But it's gonna be tough. I mean, if you have a, you know. You know, Oprah was like, I didn't get it. I needed this Ozempic. Whatever. I watched.
- [81:33]
D
Serena Williams was the other one.
- [81:34]
A
Right, right. Okay, listen, I watched Castaway with Tom Hanks the other day. Tom Hanks was 220 pounds when he hit that eyelash. And it was a buck 55 when he left that island. And that's just not eating. He just didn't eat. He just didn't do it. And you go, well, he was trapped on you can do it. You can. You're not. You should build that up. But Ozempic is like, it's kind of a weird conceit. Like if you really think about it, like if you go, okay, okay, what do we take supplements for? Or what do we take injections for? Whatever like that. You go, well, steroids guys will take steroids to get huge. And they'll go, that guy's 67 years old and he's built like a brick shit house. You go, okay, well that's impossible without the steroids.
- [82:24]
D
Jeff Bayless.
- [82:25]
A
Right? It's impossible without it. You know what I mean? And then you'll go, what is this? It's a vaccine for smallpox or something. And say, okay, you gotta get that shot. And there's many other medications that people are on for various things that you must take that your body doesn't produce. You don't have to take Ozempic, you just don't pick up the donut. You don't need it to not pick up the donut. You can not pick up the donut.
- [82:52]
D
This is kind of how I feel about a lot of plastic surgery. Ozempic was created originally for people who really needed the help, like people with severe diabetes or like obesity that is deadly. Right. It was great for people at the end of the rope that needed something to solve. Kind of like, oh, breast augmentation was created like originally for women who had double mastectomies because of breast cancer. But our culture is so weird and lazy and I think over sexualized. So they're like, but how can we use this to make skinny bitches even hotter?
- [83:26]
A
Right?
- [83:26]
D
Like, how can we use this to, you know, make that Instagram person or that only fans person look like more the way that she wants to or needs to to make money. And then, right? And it contributes then broadly to society to just sheer laziness.
- [83:39]
A
Yeah.
- [83:40]
C
It goes from medical to vanity very quickly. That is a steep downhill. You know what's really weird? As you're explaining this, I'm thinking, so ibuprofen or aspirin, Tylenol, what have you? Like, I'll get a headache. And Lauren's like, I'll take a Tylenol. And I'll be like, I don't to want why I need to deal with it. I need to learn how to live with this headache right now. I don't want to take that. I don't want to take the Tylenol. What she also doesn't know is I threw it away a long time ago. So I don't know where it is. But nonetheless, she's a woman.
- [84:08]
D
She has some in her purse.
- [84:09]
C
She does. It's a weird obsession of mine.
- [84:11]
A
I don't take the Tylenol because it's too many calories, bro.
- [84:13]
C
I don't take the Tylenol.
- [84:14]
A
Too many calories.
- [84:15]
C
And that's a metaphor. Don't take the Tylenol.
- [84:18]
A
Listen, you're talking to a poor guy who never had insurance and I just rode shit out. Strep throat, all sorts of horrible shit. Sheath. It's simple sheath underwear. They make the most comfortable briefs I've ever worn. I'm wearing them right now. The stretchy fabric is made out of moisture wicking technology that makes everything cool in the right spots. I wear them every time I'm on stage because you want to be comfortable up there. And I'm surprised it took someone this long to figure this out. But they do a dual pouch because I don't know, unless you're Lance Armstrong, you need a dual pouch. This keeps your man parts separated from everything else. It's a game changer. I wish I had these when I was still working construction back in the day so I could add a little comfort. She also has bamboo shirts and hoodies all designed for maximum comfort. It's sheath. Right.
- [85:19]
B
Dawson, go to sheath.com now and use the promo code Adam to receive 20% off today. That's sheath.com today and use the promo code Adam for 20% off.
- [85:30]
A
Well, do you love stories of myth and legend?
- [85:33]
C
Good.
- [85:33]
A
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- [86:49]
D
Something was in the water or something.
- [86:50]
A
It let the 90 there was a syndrome that took place after the 94 earthquake, where they hypothesized that the earth moved or whatever and spores or whatever got. And I got this horrible infection. This horrible infection. But I didn't have any insurance or money or anything. And I just laid there and sweat through my sheets. Sweat through my bed every night with lesions in my mouth and on my face. Yes. Following the January 1994 Northridge earthquake, a significant outbreak of.
- [87:31]
D
Okay, well, you want to say that word.
- [87:34]
A
Cocka cola, Dunca Kappa Papa.
- [87:38]
D
Coccydiodomycosis.
- [87:41]
A
Yeah, the mycosis part's good. All right. All right. Valley fever, they call it. I lived in the valley. Occurred in Vendahura county in California. The earthquake triggered landslides and shaking, released spores from the soil, caused that 200. Whatever report.
- [88:01]
D
It says only 203. You would have been 204.
- [88:04]
A
I know, but I didn't report cause symptoms. The illness manifested in fever, coughing, fatigue, muscle aches, typically counted one to three weeks exposure region, Venturic Valley, Simi Valley, high risk groups. I had lesions and fever every night. And I didn't have aspirin. I didn't have vaginal. I just literally sweat through my sheets every fucking night. That's horrible. Like laying there. That's horrible. Oh, like Pepillon on the prison island. I was just like, I didn't know anybody. I also had weird low self esteem. Like, I didn't have aspirin or anything. I didn't have Tylenol. So I had lesions in my mouth, on my face, and I just night sweats all night for a week. And then when it was done, it was just done.
- [88:55]
D
You went back to work?
- [88:56]
A
I never took anything. Yeah. Wow. Yeah, it was crazy.
- [89:01]
C
You'd have a Now you'd have like an $80,000 medical bill beyond 13 years.
- [89:08]
A
The reason I hate Drew is because years later, when I hooked up with Drew and we were doing Loveline, and I go, I got this thing, man, right after round 94. I probably didn't bring up the earthquake. I just went. And I had had lesions on my face and my mouth. A sweat all night, sweat, fever. And he goes, herpes. I go, no, no. I had a girlfriend the whole time. He has herpes. I go, I didn't. She didn't have herpes. She must have given you herpes. She didn't have herpes.
- [89:45]
C
It was Layden.
- [89:46]
A
It was herpes. I go, it wasn't. I was sick. I was, like, sweating through my sheets every night. Well, yeah, that's what you get with herpes. You Go through this sheet, sweating. I go, no. I thought it was just the lesions. And he goes, no, no, no, that was herpes. And every time it came up, he'd just go, herpes. And he would say it in the microphone too, like, we're on the radio. And I was always like, I don't think I had herpes. Cause I never had herpes. And then she didn't have herpes. Cynthia, my girlfriend at the time, I.
- [90:18]
D
Was like, don't gesture at me.
- [90:20]
A
Yeah, herpes. It was the greatest. It was the greatest moment ever.
- [90:24]
D
Her mom was listening to the show.
- [90:27]
A
No.
- [90:27]
C
Oh, I love it. Okay, there you go.
- [90:29]
A
I was done with her by the time I got on the radio. I was too. Big time.
- [90:32]
C
Herpes are forever. So you're never done with it.
- [90:34]
A
Oh, that's true. No, no. It was comical. Her. It was the greatest thing ever. I'd hit rock bottom. The earthquake destroyed her apartment building in Studio City. My girlfriend, so she was having to stay to live with me, even though we weren't really living with each other. But I had roommates in a rented house in La Crescenta. So she said, stay in this little room in the corner with me. Didn't have a bathroom attached to it in this rental house with no heat. And then her car blew a head gasket and she couldn't afford to fix her car because her work shut down. It was on Ventura. Her stuff was all in Ventura by where the liquefaction in the river, the LA river got all fucked up. So her apartment was condemned. Her work was closed. My work was closed. Her car was broken with a head gasket. We didn't have money to fix it. So her car was broken. She was living at my house. She had no income. I had no incomes. My work shut down. And her goddamn mom had scheduled to come in from Minnesota like a month earlier.
- [91:46]
C
Was she Somalian?
- [91:47]
A
She's still coming? Yeah, she just got done ripping off some daycare centers. So she goes, and my mom's coming. She's got the tickets and she's coming. And can she stay on the sofa of the house I rented with my roommates? And she's in it. And I was like, it's kind of crowded, but your apartment's condemned. Your mom's coming out to visit you. I'd be kind of a douche if I said, well, no, she didn't have any money either. Then I break out and I get all these lesions on my face and everything. And my. I'm fucking. I'm not Sleeping. I'm sweating through the night. I got lesions on my face. And at some point, there's a knock on the door, and I just open it, and it's her mom, like, holding a suitcase. And she looks at me. I've never met her before. She looks at me, she sees all these lesions on my face, and I'm sweating profusely. She goes, oh, my God. What the fuck is going on here? You're the boyfriend. And I just go, bitch, I don't want to fucking hear a word of it. You don't know fucking what I've been going through. Your daughter's car's broken down. My fucking work shut down. Her job shut down, her apartment shut. I'm in no mood for this conversation. You can go in there and sleep on the sofa and shut the fuck up, and I'll go back in my room and go fucking sweat through the sheet. But you picked the wrong day to start in with me.
- [93:09]
C
So what happened?
- [93:10]
A
She fucking came in. And then Cynthia came around the corner, and she's, well, what's going on with that guy? And I'm like, he's got a disease.
- [93:18]
D
I gave him herpes.
- [93:19]
A
Go to the doctor. Go to the doctor. He doesn't have insurance. It was the worst.
- [93:26]
C
This is horrible.
- [93:27]
A
It was horrible.
- [93:28]
C
This is horrible.
- [93:29]
D
I actually feel like this is a scene in a comedy.
- [93:31]
A
It was literally the bottoming out of my life. And four months later, I met Jimmy Kimmel. And a year and a half later, I was a millionaire. Wow. That was basically it. Okay.
- [93:45]
C
In between that four months, though, I gotta know, how did it end with the girlfriend? What happened with the mom? What'd you do that night? Did you make dinner? Did you get. Take her out? What happened? Or you just laid in your herpe boot?
- [93:52]
A
Oh, you can't take her out. No one had any money. There's no money.
- [93:56]
C
So you guys just played with your herpes all day?
- [93:58]
A
Yeah, we just had a herpe party.
- [94:00]
C
Oh, my gosh.
- [94:01]
A
It was horrible.
- [94:02]
C
That is awful.
- [94:02]
A
I bought him out. I know. When I bombed out, it was 94. Earthquake. I know.
- [94:07]
D
So now I've always been afraid. I've lived here for 12 years, and we haven't had the big one that everybody talks about us having. Yeah, now I know to be warned that we could all get, like, this weird sport virus.
- [94:17]
C
Yeah, that's crazy. Cyclospora cochamus or something.
- [94:20]
A
No, it was herpes. I had to check that later. But anyway, that's what I got. I got the. I got the Earthquake, disease. All right, one more story.
- [94:28]
D
All right, one last story. So the Epstein files. All the rage this week. Everybody's trying to figure out who's in the files, who isn't in the files. And apparently you're guilty if you're just named in the files. My favorite part is, like, anybody who ever interviewed him or investigated him, who's also named people just as assume that. Anyway, whatever. So now, Mum, Donnie, though. Socialist, darling. He's in trouble. Supporters were protesting outside of his home after his mom appeared in the Epstein files. His mother's a filmmaker, Mira Nair, and appeared the files several times. Apparently you can search her name and find dozens of times. This did not fit. Well, the people of New York who supported Mamdani, she founded a 1988 nonprofit for street children in India. And it sounds like the photos of Mamdani and his mother with a bunch of celebrities seem to be. Some of them say that some of the images are AI generated. But when it's 2026, and of course, Democrats and some trader Republicans have become obsessed with Epstein island conspiracy theorists. And your mom appears in the Epstein files. Well, it's not going to be a really great look for him. So they're saying that they did appear in the files. Apparently they could have met and he could have donated to her nonprofit. But that all of the other images that the FBI gathered are probably AI generated and not real.
- [95:48]
A
I heard there's millions of pieces, like.
- [95:50]
D
Three and a half million files. Yeah, three and a half million of them.
- [95:55]
A
Yeah.
- [95:56]
D
Yeah.
- [95:56]
A
I don't. I mean, first off, I will never try to talk anybody out of a conspiracy theory ever again. You know, I used to.
- [96:05]
B
I mean.
- [96:05]
A
I mean, Ed Asner sat right where you're sitting and was explaining that the Twin Towers were wired by the FBI and the CIA and taken down that the airplane. And I tried to talk him out of it, but no more. Anybody's got. Macron's wife's got a dick. And the Jews took down the Twin Towers. And Epstein was a Mossad agent. What am I gonna say? You're crazy. You can't.
- [96:33]
C
Yeah, I don't. It's weird it might be this seat because I'm feeling a little conspiratorial.
- [96:38]
D
It rubs off on you in the studio.
- [96:40]
A
Let me tell you something about.
- [96:41]
D
Kind of like Herbies.
- [96:42]
A
Let me tell you about. It's called Valley Fever. Let me tell you about conspiracy theorists. At least the old school ones. The new ones, not so much old school conspiracy theorists. And that's like Oliver Stone and Ed Asner and those kind of guys, they weren't conspiracy theorists. They hated the government. And so every single. It's like they were saying, well, you know, 911 was a conspiracy, whatever. And you go, oh, what happened? And they go, the government wired the thing, you know, and you go, oh. And then you go, kennedy assassination. What happened? The CIA hired and it was like, you guys hate the government, right? It was pretty easy to figure out. And what I learned, the reason I stumbled onto it is cause I was like talking to Ed Asner and he was like all these conspiracy things. And then like at a certain point, for some reason, like the Holocaust and World War II came up. And then I go, well, you know, well, we liberated Europe and you know, beat the Nazis back and liberated those concentration camps and stuff. And Ed was like, yeah, we could have done it two years earlier, but we didn't. Eisenhower knew the Jews were being put away, but he stopped a mission. It's like, we're the bad guys in this fucking equation. We're the bad guys. We're the bad guys because we're beating the Japanese in the Pacific theater and then the Germans in the European theater. And we didn't get get to Krakauer fast enough. Like we didn't get to the concentration camps fast enough. Cause we're so busy fighting the entire fucking world. Ed Asner blames us for not liberating the camps 18 months earlier than we could have. And by the way, I get it, like war is one of those things where someone will go, this is happening. And you go, well, sorry, it's horrible, but we got the fate of the world here. But that's when I realized Ed Asner hates the government, he hates us. And the conspiracy theories are just that, a sanctioned way to hate the government.
- [98:53]
D
I think the Epstein files to piggyback on that. It's a sanctioned way to hate the rich and famous.
- [98:59]
A
Right, right.
- [98:59]
C
That's a good point.
- [99:00]
D
And I think that actually for people from the right, left and center, specifically, and like, I'm somebody who's worked and volunteered and supports anti trafficking organizations. So I take it very seriously and think that P. Diddy should have been tried and in jail for longer. But all that to say I think that it is that victim mentality of, well, who can I make the bad guy? So when things are shitty in my life, I can take it out on someone else and blame it on this massive cabal that controls everything that I have no control of. And look, they're the bad guy. It's not Me being a lazy bum in my mom's basement.
- [99:37]
A
Right. So I think old school lazy was the goal. Conspiracy was always govern. It always ended up at the government. Government and then the new one sort of something with Donald Trump, although he doesn't really represent the government. I mean, even though he's the president, they don't think of him as that. They think of him as fuck Trump, you know, dictator. So there's that. Then there's a little more Israel and Jews going on out there. I think there's more of that, but it's a little less. The CIA and the FBI knew what they were doing. And then there's a new school, which is more me, which is like what the FBI was doing during COVID and whose names they were deplatforming and whose Russiagate. Whose phones they were tapping and stuff. And Russiagate, 100% Russiagate. I'm like, oh, now I'm joining Ed Asner. But we're from different angles. But I get deep now I am more of a deep state guy with the whole Russiagate stuff and Hillary Clinton and Steele dossier and all that. That struck and Paige and all that.
- [100:41]
D
Hunter Biden laptop.
- [100:42]
A
Hunter Biden laptop. You guys had the laptop. You couldn't verify it, although you had the laptop. Although all anyone had to do is really like ask people questions and they didn't.
- [100:53]
D
You mean do their jobs.
- [100:54]
A
Leslie Stahl could have done her just. Sir, please. No, we're CBN, this is 60 Minutes.
- [101:02]
C
But they used the notion of conspiracy theories to conflate with their selective journalism. Right?
- [101:07]
A
So that's.
- [101:08]
C
They used it. They're like, oh, this guy is crazy. But he's got a large audience. Let's use what he's doing to explain what we're doing and conflate the two because we hate each other fundamentally. And they'll say we want nothing to do with you, which will only help us.
- [101:20]
A
Right?
- [101:21]
C
It was pretty good math.
- [101:23]
A
All right, let me get some plugs in. Yeah. Why shouldn't I pay taxes every single weekend? I'm gonna be out in Orlando at the Funny Bone doing live pod with Michael Yeoh. That'll be on Thursday, That'll be tomorrow, and then Friday, Naples. Off the hook. Good food over there. Chef gruel.
- [101:45]
C
Sounds like it. Off the hook.
- [101:46]
A
How many clubs normally don't, but you go there for the food. Early shows are sold out, but I think there's some late shows that are open. You get some tickets then I'll just get up at 4:45 in the morning and hustle back to LA after I'm done paying my taxes. You go to AdamCarolla.com for all the live shows and then you got Alicia Krause over here with her weekly op ed, the Washington examiner, newsmakers and chef Gruel American gravy that's on iHeartRadio. And then new episodes every Tuesday and Thursday. Instagram at Andrew gruel and website chefgruel.com the restaurant. Let's see Calico Fish House. Calico Fish House. Delicious. Been there, there. A real treat. Go there and watch a chef wash dishes. So until next time, Sam Crawford, Alicia Kraus and chef Andrew Gruel saying mahalo.
- [102:42]
B
Pick up your phone and leave us a voicemail at 8, at 8-634-1744 and get tickets to see Adam Corolla at AdamCorola.com.
- [102:57]
E
At Pluto tv we're celebrating Black History Month with our free curated collection of black entertainment. No ifs, ands or buts about catch award winning films like Dreamgirls, Monster's Ball and Selma.
- [103:09]
A
We must make a massive demonstration.
- [103:11]
E
Iconic hits like School Days and Set it off. Plus full seasons of shows like Tyler Perry's Sisters and Power. I gotcha its star studded brilliant black and it's all free. It's getting good this month and always on Pluto TV Streamed now. Hey never at Pluto tv we're celebrating Black History Month with our free curated collection of black entertainment.
- [103:34]
C
No ifs, ands or buts about it.
- [103:36]
E
Catch award winning films like Dreamgirls, Monster's Ball and Selma.
- [103:40]
A
We must make a massive demonstration.
- [103:42]
E
Iconic hits like School Days and Set it off. Plus full seasons of shows like Tyler Perry's Sisters and Power. I got you it. Star studded, brilliant black entertainment and it's all free. It's getting good this month and always on Kudo TV Stream now pay never.