Billy Gardell on His 173LB Weight Loss Journey + Trump’s New Immigration Freeze

Summary

The Adam Carolla Show

Guest: Billy Gardell
Date: December 4, 2025
Episode Theme:
A candid, humorous, and moving conversation with comedian and actor Billy Gardell about his remarkable 173-pound weight loss journey, overcoming childhood trauma, the evolution of comedy, and insightful takes on current affairs, including immigration controversies and cultural assimilation, with host Adam Carolla and news contributor Rudy Pavich.

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Main Themes and Purpose

• Billy Gardell’s Weight Loss Journey:
  Billy Gardell opens up about losing 173 pounds, the personal motivations behind it, the realities of bariatric surgery, and the psychological hurdles tied to food and self-worth.
• Comedy, Authenticity, and Career Evolution:
  The discussion offers an insider’s look at stand-up comedy, Gardell’s television career (including Mike & Molly), and the creative shifts demanded by fame, aging, and changing health.
• Overcoming Childhood Trauma:
  Gardell shares moving stories about growing up with abusive stepfathers, breaking cycles of violence, and the pivotal influence of his biological father.
• Immigration & Cultural Assimilation in America:
  Adam and Rudy examine current events, specifically the Somali community in Minnesota, Trump's immigration freeze, and the inherent cultural differences that come with immigration.
• Society, COVID, and Masculinity:
  The roundtable dives into COVID-era policies, bureaucratic frustrations, gender roles, and the changing culture around men’s health and behavior.

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Detailed Breakdown

1. Billy Gardell: Comedy, Fame, and Self-Image

[03:25]–[14:54]

• Comedy Roots & Self-Assessment
  Gardell reflects on being regarded as “one molecule off” from being a great comic, content to be a “good 6, 7, 8 hitter” rather than a superstar.

  “I always looked at myself as being like one molecule off from being a great comic... but I hold my own.”
  —Billy Gardell [04:42]

• Aging, Health, and Career
  Gardell describes how health concerns and the pandemic forced him to take a step back from standup, only for the joy to slowly return.

  “I found some joy in it again.”
  —Billy Gardell [08:00]

• Weight, Identity, and Material
  On losing weight and how it affected his act:

  “I had to acknowledge it, you know… you gotta take two, three shots at yourself just to make everybody else comfortable… but I wasn’t just doing 4,000 fat jokes. I think that’s demeaning.”
  —Billy Gardell [08:20]

• Getting Healthy—The Real Shift
  He describes learning self-compassion, catalyzed by therapy:

  “What really changed for me was learning how to care about myself. I don’t think I knew how to do that... that’s what changed the game for me.”
  —Billy Gardell [09:04]

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2. Childhood Trauma and Breaking the Cycle

[13:09]–[19:15]

• Abuse and Emotional Eating
  Gardell speaks candidly about gaining weight as a “protection for a beating that is no longer coming,” and the link between trauma and unhealthy coping mechanisms:

  “It took me 38 years, really 40 years, before I realized you’re wearing this protection for a beating that is no longer coming.”
  —Billy Gardell [13:11]

• Family, Fatherhood, and Change
  The motivation to get healthy came from seeing his wife’s support and considering his role as a father:

  “My wife has stood beside me… for 25 years. So that’s owed… and all of that kind of motivated it for me.”
  —Billy Gardell [14:54]

• Breaking Cycles of Violence
  On raising his own son without violence:

  “The gift that came from that kind of upbringing is I’ve never laid a hand on my son... we’ve always been able to talk.”
  —Billy Gardell [15:37]

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3. Nature vs. Nurture: Genetics, Culture & Accountability

[12:29]–[19:01]

• Genetics, Upbringing, and Weight/Behavior
  Conversation veers between nature and nurture, the responsibilities of parents, and the lasting impacts of home life.

• On Moms and Choosing Partners:

  “If you’re going to bring a child into this world, you have to look at your playbook and go, what can I do differently that would be better for this person?”
  —Billy Gardell [18:06]

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4. Comedy, TV, and Melissa McCarthy

[30:23]–[34:45]

• On Mike & Molly and Melissa McCarthy’s Meteoric Rise
  Gardell warmly describes his friendship with McCarthy and why he was able to cheer for her meteoric success:

  “The reason I could genuinely root her on is because of the perspective I had of what it could be like… I was happy to be a cheerleader when that happened.”
  —Billy Gardell [33:35]

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5. Showbiz, Stereotypes, and Shifting Identities

[35:36]–[38:52]

• ‘Skinny is the New Sober’
  Rudy’s observation that artists lose their edge when they lose weight or sober up:

  “Skinny is the new sober... Jelly Roll got skinny. Music’s probably gonna suck. Adele got Skinny. Probably gonna suck. But you’re the only one who lost the weight and got better.”
  —Rudy Pavich [35:44]

• Gardell on Adjusting to a New Stage Persona:

  “I didn’t have the same presence on stage… I went from the guy who could walk in a room, ‘get out of the way’ to ‘I’m sorry, did I bump you?’”
  —Billy Gardell [36:16]

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6. Music, Pop Culture, and Hidden Tastes

[37:01]–[56:08]

• Discussions of musical tastes, the hypocrisy and oversharing in showbiz “niceness,” and pop culture (ALF, Duran Duran, Richard Marx, Kenny G, etc.)

  “When you like what you like and you don’t care what others like without being a jag off about it, you live a pretty peaceful life.”
  —Billy Gardell [55:37]

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7. Hollywood, Creating, and Second Acts

[56:24]–[58:25]

• Gardell is pitching a new show with Reno Wilson (Mike & Molly), while expressing the desire to act in a procedural:

  “I want to play the burned out fire chief… I don’t need to be carrying the whole show… I love acting and I’d love to get like a fourth or fifth lead on one of those shows.”
  —Billy Gardell [57:23]

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8. Weight Loss, Bariatric Surgery & Practical Realities

[58:25]–[63:42]

• Gardell Details Bariatric Surgery Experience

  • Full gastric bypass reversed his diabetes; surgery is not a “free pass” due to nutritional and psychological challenges.
  • On maintenance:

    “You have to be steady in treating it every day. Like, I put food on the same shelf as booze. For me, it’s dangerous…”
    —Billy Gardell [60:29]

  • Importance of consistency over “discipline” as explained by his nutritionist.

• Day-to-Day Maintenance

  • Describes “Groundhog Day” meals and routines, hydration, vitamin absorption issues, and limited cheat days.

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9. Culture, Exercise, and Motivation

[63:42]–[72:06]

• On Exercising and Gym Culture

  • Adam and Billy bond over hating exercise but commit to front-and-center home routines.
  • Adam’s “rower in the living room” philosophy for accountability.
  • On just moving and breaking the cycle of inactivity:

    "Find something and just do it… There can't be nothing days."
    —Adam Carolla [72:06]

• City vs. Nature

  • Billy prefers city walking to nature hikes; they riff on personal quirks around exercise.

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10. News Segment: Immigration, Cultural Assimilation, and Local Politics

[77:21]–[97:06]
Key Segment: [77:21]–[86:46], [88:09]–[92:08]

• Somali Immigration & Minnesota Politics
  Adam rants about cultural differences in assimilation, the “bazaar-ification” of LA, and the problems with importing entire cultural dynamics, using the Somali community in Minnesota as an anchor.

  “Somalia is Somalia because it’s filled with Somalians, and Mexico is Mexico because it’s filled with Mexicans, and Sweden’s Sweden because it’s filled with Swedes…”
  —Adam Carolla [77:45]

  • Rudy provides on-the-ground observation about Minneapolis’ West Bank, demographic shifts, and fraud scandals (“crack stacks,” Feeding Our Future scandal).

• On Political Pandering & Identity Politics

  “It sounds so pandering, doesn’t it? It sounds like you’re just completely sucking off the people who vote for you that live in that state.”
  —Rudy Pavich [85:09]

  • Clip: Mayor Jacob Frey delivers public address in Somali [85:03].

• Trump’s New Immigration Freeze
  Discusses the practical rationale of Trump’s restriction on high-risk countries (“If you have terrorists in 2026, you’re on the fucking list. Sorry.” —Adam Carolla [96:09]), and how assimilation or lack thereof shapes civic reality.

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11. Government Inefficiency, COVID Policy & Masculinity

[97:06]–[115:27]

• On the DMV as a Metaphor for Civic Health

  “The DMV will tell you how that town is working and the fact that the LA DMV is always a shit show…”
  —Adam Carolla [97:45]

• COVID, Vaccines, and Female-Led Risk Culture
  Adam’s take on how public health messaging shifted to manipulate women, making them the “enforcers.”

  “The whole COVID thing was about weaponizing the women to enforce… Every argument I had was with a woman going, ‘You need to get vaccinated.’”
  —Adam Carolla [105:09]

• Cultural Shift in Masculinity
  Disdain for “pajama pants, blankie guys” at airports; “Dudes ceased being dudes.”

  “There’s a lot of that… Dudes ceased being dudes. But dudes also figured out if they don’t pose a threat, then they can get some pussy.”
  —Adam Carolla [113:24]

• Men’s Health: The Rise of ‘Male Makeover’ Surgery
  On gynomastia (male breasts) and environmental pollutants’ effect on testosterone.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Self-Love and Recovery

  “What really changed it for me was learning how to care about myself. I don't think I knew how to do that, and I know that sounds a little sappy, but that's what changed the game for me.”
  —Billy Gardell [09:04]

• On Cultural Differences and Immigration

  “This notion… Let’s just hear the mayor doing what’s bound to happen. Because once you keep importing these people, then they become a constituency.”
  —Adam Carolla [83:46]

• On Parenting and Breaking Cycles

  “...to break that cycle, you have to be willing to do two things. You have to be willing to ask for help… And then you have to be willing to try different behavior.”
  —Billy Gardell [17:27]

• On Showbiz Friendship & Humility

  "Without hesitation, Chuck, I'll pick her up on the way to work. I'm not going back."
  —Billy Gardell on Melissa McCarthy [33:35]

• On Vaccine Hesitancy and Risk

  “Women used to be barefoot and in the kitchen… Then they became basically the custodian of the house. And so when stuff would come along, such as a Covid vaccination, they're like, I'm taking the kids, getting them vaccinated.”
  —Adam Carolla [105:09]

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Timestamps to Key Segments

• [04:42] Billy Gardell on “one molecule off” from comedy greatness
• [08:00] Rediscovering joy in standup post-health scare
• [09:04] Therapy, self-love, and breaking old patterns
• [13:11] Childhood trauma, emotional eating, and “protection from beatings”
• [15:37] On raising his son differently and breaking family violence
• [33:35] On rooting for Melissa McCarthy
• [35:44] Rudy: “Skinny is the new sober”
• [55:37] Billy: “When you like what you like and you don’t care what others like…”
• [60:29] Food as addiction and the discipline to change
• [77:45] Adam’s immigration and cultural assimilation riff
• [85:03] Mayor Frey’s address in Somali (clip)
• [97:45] The DMV as a civic metric
• [105:09] COVID, women, and policy enforcement

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Summary Tone

Candid, comedic, and insightful, blending Adam Carolla’s irreverent rants, Billy Gardell’s warmth and honesty, Rudy’s insider takes, and the show’s signature blend of dark humor and heartfelt moments.

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For Listeners:

This episode is essential listening for fans interested in the intersections of comedy, trauma, health, culture, and current affairs, all delivered with bite, bravado, and vulnerability.

Transcript

[Adam Carolla]

Well, this episode from Mike and Molly and a great stand up comedian Billy Gardell joins us. Also, Rudy Pavich is going to do the news and hang in as well. And we'll do all that right after this.

[Ted Dawson]

It's time to celebrate Christmas with the Ace man.

[Adam Carolla]

Happy holy, holy Christmas.

[Billy Gardell]

And the best time of the year in Santa Barbara.

[Ted Dawson]

Friday night at the Santa Barbara Comedy Club. Adam Carolla live says no roasting in the open fire Saturday, December 6th in Corona, California.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Ted Dawson]

@ DOS Lagos.

[Adam Carolla]

Amphitheater. Write it.

[Ted Dawson]

Down. Celebrate the season with Jay.

[Adam Carolla]

Moore. Don't say I didn't warn you. Thank you for that.

[Ted Dawson]

Jay. And Thursday, December 18, a special Adam Carolla show Christmas, it's wonderful. And oh, breaking news with Brad Williams. I'm Ted Koppel at the sagebrush cantina on December.

[Billy Gardell]

18Th. And if we daily Christmas, my too long gave it to.

[Adam Carolla]

Me. I partition repair. I'm.

[Ted Dawson]

Free. Join us for the brightest season of the.

[Adam Carolla]

Year. You are going to get.

[Ted Dawson]

Aroused. Get your tickets.

[Adam Carolla]

[e-mail].

O'REILLY.

Oh, oh, oh, O'Reilly Auto Parts. Yeah, you know the jingle. These guys keep your car on the road so you don't get stuck on the shoulder looking like a dope. They're friendly, they're helpful. They have service people who know their business people. They didn't just walk in and hire anybody. These guys have experience and they'll share it with you, not some kid staring at his phone. Always used, O'Reilly. Still do. Used it back when I had to when I was swinging a hammer. Couldn't afford to take it to the dealer. Now I do it for my race cars. But let's say you don't know lug nut from a donut. They'll walk you through it. No attitude, just real help. Stop by O'Reilly Auto Parts today or you can visit us at O'ReillyAuto.com Adam that's O'ReillyAuto.com/Adam.

The longer days are.

[Rudy Pavich]

Brutal. So if you're feeling frugal, stream Pluto.

[Adam Carolla]

TV. Stream Pluto TV streaming Pluto TV for free. Stream blockbuster hits like 21 Jump Street, Ted, the Expendables and so much more on Pluto TV. Stream now pay.

[Ted Dawson]

Never.

From Corolla One studios in Glendale, California, this is the Adam Carolla Show. Adam's guest today, actor comedian Billy Gardell. Plus the news with Rudy Povich. And now a man with a construction fetish. If you build it, he will.

[Adam Carolla]

Come.

ADAM carolla, so damn true. Assistant job site. Get it on, man. Billy Gardell is here. I'M a big.

[Billy Gardell]

Fan. Thanks for having me, man. I appreciate.

[Adam Carolla]

It. Oh, listen, I. I ran into Billy at. Funny you should ask. We're.

[Billy Gardell]

Taping.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. With Byron Allen and invited him to come.

[Billy Gardell]

On. Very kind of you. Thank you. Well, I remember you asked and you said.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Billy Gardell]

Okay. Let's be honest. I'm an honest.

[Adam Carolla]

Guy. I said to Rudy, just apropos of nothing, I don't know, several years ago, but not that long ago, I said, like, who's a really good standup comedian? Because Rudy knows the game. Like, they're guys who play football and then they're guys who know a lot about football. That's kind of right. Right. Not a first rounder, but he knows the.

[Billy Gardell]

Stats. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah.

[Rudy Pavich]

Yeah. I can't get a laugh. But if there was a fantasy football league for standup, I'd be first.

[Adam Carolla]

Place.

[Billy Gardell]

Yeah. It'd be killing.

[Adam Carolla]

Ye. But he's one of these guys where like sometimes there'll be a guy and I'll go, rudy, you heard of this guy? And they go, I never heard of that guy. And he'll go, okay, that's. That means he doesn't exist. Rudy. I said it was, give me a good, you know, Billy Gardell. He said, super funny, real, just great jokes. The kind of jokes you wish you thought of.

[Billy Gardell]

Yourself. I do all right, man. I was never, I was. I always looked at myself as being like one molecule off from being a great comic. I was always like one molecule. I didn't ever quite break the glass ceiling, but I hold my own. I'm a good 6, 7, 8 hitter, you know what I.

[Adam Carolla]

Mean? Well, what is that thing?

Like, I have those thoughts sometimes where it's like I have probably the potential to be that guy, but I don't really go there. There's like a little hesitation. I mean, you could call it lazy, you know, I don't.

[Billy Gardell]

Know. It's lazy. I think it's what you're comfortable with and I think I'm a big believer in, you know, you attract what you put out. And I've always. My love for acting is where standup led me to. And stand up is. It's like a deep rooted thing. I think in any standup. We were talking about this before the show. I mean, really, like you'll do it for a cheeseburger and you'll do it for 100 grand, but you know, what you want to convey, I think is very important. Your voice is very important. And whether that's going to catch on to Stadiums or theater. Nobody gets to say that. Like, the general population kind of figured that out. I think the trick is to stay sane. You just stay authentic. But I always feel like I got, like, okay, that's a decent level. You know what I mean? Like, even when I was on TV, I got to theaters that were, you know, maybe 2,000 seats. And I got to casinos, which had big. But I never got into the arena level stuff. And I think after a long time of that, you go, okay, well, you know, I gotta be grateful for what I have achieved and the fact that I can still do it at this age. I can still get out there at this age after what I've all my whole career, I'm still, you know, still on the.

[Adam Carolla]

Map. You know, you're with a lighter footprint on that map because I think, are you down £200 from.

[Billy Gardell]

Your. I'm down 173. 173 is what I took off. And that changed a lot on stage, too, man. I took time off to get healthy. And when I did, I thought, maybe I'm done with standup. I thought, all right, maybe I'm just at peace with this. I was doing my second sitcom, and it was during the COVID things where there was no audiences, so we had to do that so everybody could stay healthy and get through the filming. You know, it was funny because we had the. There was a young show down the street, and those kids were going out every Friday and they were getting shut down, like, every two weeks. So we just were the old people that just said, all right, well, we'll do what we got to do to keep this going. But in that time, I thought, I'm going to get healthy. And I thought, all right, I'm done with it. I think I'm done. I'm at peace with it. And then I went down and saw a buddy of mine, Ian Bagg, at the Irvine Improv, and he was having one of those nights. You know, those nights. There's nights where you're on stage and the back of your brain is going, you know, did I shut off the stove? While you're doing your. Kind of there, but you're not there. And then there's those nights where, you know, you lift your eyebrow and the audience is with you. And Ian was having one of those nights. And, man, I just got that weird twitch again. And I looked at my wife, I go, I think I'm going back. I think I'm going back. And. And I started beating around the clubs, and I found some Joy in it.

[Adam Carolla]

Again. So what are you, £195 now or.

[Billy Gardell]

Something? No, I'm 213. After the Thanksgiving holiday, the tape was a little heavy. I think I got up to 217 this week.

[Adam Carolla]

But. Yeah, but you're.

[Billy Gardell]

£400. Before I was three. Yeah, 385 was my top.

[Adam Carolla]

End. And how much of that was in your.

[Billy Gardell]

Material? Not a lot, which is good. I had to acknowledge it, you know, because when you're that big, you got to take two, three shots at yourself just to make everybody else comfortable. And then I just moved on to what it was I wanted to talk about. I wasn't a guy that was just doing 4,000 fat jokes. I think that's demeaning. In fact, one of the things I had to learn to get healthy was to look in the mirror and start saying, hey, man, I love you, and I'm gonna care about you. And as cheesy as that sounds. Cause where I grew up in Pittsburgh, those were not the thoughts that you said to yourself in the mirror. You were taught never to talk like sheriff. But there was a therapist who gave me a great piece of advice that said.

Because I was always looking in the mirror going, lose weight. You fat, so and so, look at you. You mess. And that's not motivating. That's from old high school coaches, is all that is. What really changed it for me was learning how to care about myself. I don't think I knew how to do that, and I know that sounds a little sappy, but that's what changed the game for.

[Adam Carolla]

Me. Well, so a few things.

It just drives me nuts when comedians rely on something, be it their weight, their ethnicity, lesbian, whatever. Ladies. Single ladies. We got single ladies out there. Can we talk? You know, it can be almost anything. I totally agree with you. You have to address whatever your thing.

[Billy Gardell]

Is. If you're tall, if you have a mark on your face, if you have something, you gotta take that away from their. Their attention span and then go into who you.

[Adam Carolla]

Are. Right. But the reason you didn't lose your act is because it never was your act, which is good. And I always appreciate it, and I actually respect it more. I love seeing a black comedian just get up and tell jokes and little less. Could you imagine what it'd be like in the hood for? You know, whatever? It always feels kind of crutchy for me, I.

[Billy Gardell]

Think. Yeah. If you lean on one thing, that's what you're gonna be forever. And I think you might end up pretty frustrated. I Think it's about shared experience. And I think that's the stuff that kind of moves you forward. That's just my.

[Adam Carolla]

Opinion. So in terms of your former self, was it that you ate enough to be that guy or was it like, here's what I'll.

[Billy Gardell]

Say. What do you.

[Adam Carolla]

Mean? Well, here's what I mean.

I was at a funeral and my buddy Ray showed up. And Ray is 62 now and he was later on when I was talking to some people afterward, they said, yeah, Ray was showing us his six pack abs at 62. And I was like.

I remember seeing his six pack abs when I was in the fifth grade. So that's what he looked like. And then there are people, you know, they're just cut. I was married to a woman who'd never had to work out, never had to do anything, always looked great in a bikini. And it was always. They would go to her for like, what's your secret? Wrong person to talk to about that. That's like asking how you got blue eyes or how I got tall or how any. No, no, no. Wrong person. They're not working at it. That's their cut. That's who they are. And they do it. I was thinking of.

Was it Elizabeth Hurley? Who was I thinking of? From Austin.

[Rudy Pavich]

Powers? Yeah, Elizabeth.

[Adam Carolla]

Hurley. Yeah, Elizabeth Hurley. Like I was thinking about her last night in my quiet times, and it's like people go to her and go, 60 years old, still looks amazing in a bikini. Yes, that's how she looks. That's her cut. Now I'm not saying she slams 12 packs of Heineken all night and then passes out with a six footer hoagie, but I'm saying that's how she looks. And we do that a lot. Like, what's your secret? And then there's a fat version of that too where it's like, my metabolism's not your metasm metabolism. And so I don't know. And then there's sort of, I'm addicted to food and I'm just fucking eating fast food all night and doing shit like that. But I don't know where you're at on that.

[Billy Gardell]

Spectrum. Well, I agree with you. I think you're dealt the genetic hand. You're dealt, okay, so you're gonna have some stuff that you can't escape. You're just gonna get through DNA. But then when you connect emotions positively or negatively to that hand, that that's what makes that hand grow. And so for me, you know, my dad was a little overweight, but not much, but I have some other heavier people in my family, but for me, mine came from when my parents got divorced. I had a pretty abusive second stepfather. Took some beatings and so I started putting.

[Adam Carolla]

On. Second.

[Billy Gardell]

Stepfather. Yeah.

[Rudy Pavich]

Two. Stepdad.

[Billy Gardell]

Club. You and me, Billy. There you go. Oh, really? So it was.

[Adam Carolla]

Like. Was the first stepdad.

[Billy Gardell]

Abusive? A little bit, but not as bad as the second guy. And so I had, I caught some beatings. And when you do that, you have to protect yourself. And I didn't do it in the gym, but I just got big and I played a little bit of sports when I was younger so I could carry that weight and I carried it for a long time. But it took me 38 years, really, 40 years before I really realized you're wearing this protection for a beating that is no longer coming. And it took me that many years to figure that out before I could turn the car and go, hey man, we don't have to be this. And what made me start looking at that was, you know, I was overweight, type 2 diabetes, I was a smoker, I had sleep apnea. I mean, I had every like my resting heartbeat was like 140. That's just sitting still like I was a ticking time bomb. So. And then, you know, look, my wife and kid are everything to me. That's just the life I live and that's what makes me the happiest. And I started to really think, how is this affecting them? Am I going to be here for my son? And with the way the world's going, I got a 22 year old man, I need to be on the wall for him. And the things that my wife has stood with me through all of it, man, she has earned a place now as we head towards our fourth quarter where she should have a husband that can go do things and be with her and make it about her. Because wife has really stood beside me, in front of me or behind me, whatever I've needed for 25 years. So that's owed, I believe that's owed. And all of that kind of motivated it for.

[Adam Carolla]

Me. Beating of the step kids, that's brash. You know what I mean? That's balls. Because.

I do think I have kids and I couldn't picture putting my hands on them, but if I did, at least it'd be my kid. Beating a step kid, that's pretty dark. It's pretty dark and it's also pretty nervy too. Like it's kind of yelling at someone to get off your lawn, but it's not your.

[Billy Gardell]

House. Yeah. And.

The blessing that came from that. Look, everything's perspective. You can open the door and go, it's raining. Or you can open the door and go, it's raining. That's your only choice in the.

[Adam Carolla]

Matter.

[Billy Gardell]

Right. It's still going to.

[Rudy Pavich]

Rain.

[Billy Gardell]

Sure. But the gift that came from that kind of upbringing is I've never laid a hand on my son. We've never had the. Fuck you, old man. Oh, can I. Yeah, go.

[Adam Carolla]

Ahead. No, but.

[Billy Gardell]

That'S. We've never had that. Like, we've always been able to talk. And I set that in place because of what I went through. You know what I.

[Adam Carolla]

Mean? Right. But I never got beat and I never beat my son. And so the problem is there's two arguments that society makes. You go, well, Adam's dad never hit him. So of course he doesn't hit his son. Cause he didn't learn. And then you go, well, Billy learned firsthand. How horrific.

But oftentimes people that get abused, they just continue the legacy of it. And so the question, and I've asked this many, many times because I've talked to people throughout my career. Early when I was doing Loveline, it was always the daughter whose dad was a ragin alcoholic, and now they're calling in because their husband's an alcoholic, and somehow she found the alcoholic guy and then she recreated. And there was lots of musings about how do we figure out this process where you know firsthand how horrific it is to be married to an alcoholic because your dad was one, and then at some point you became attracted to that alcoholic and then you marry that alcoholic and now you have a kid and that kid's experience what you've experience. How do we give people the insight to think how you thought, which is. I've seen it and I wouldn't wish this upon anybody when so many people repeat it. And by the way, that's the excuse they make. They go, well, you know, his dad beat on him, so he kind of. That's his way. You know, they give him an.

[Billy Gardell]

Out. A lot of the time, they do. But to break that cycle, you have to be willing to do two things. You have to be willing to ask for help from someone who has a healthy perspective. And then you have to be willing to try different behavior. And what I just didn't want to do was my dad was great. My dad was my hero. The stepfathers were the villains. So I did have a little bit of a good example, but that didn't work out between My mom and.

[Adam Carolla]

Him. How much onus of this is on your mom.

[Billy Gardell]

For. I don't blame her for.

[Adam Carolla]

Anything. I blame her a little.

[Billy Gardell]

Bit. No, not a little bit. No. Here's the thing, man, you know, did she know, you know, you have to, have.

[Rudy Pavich]

To.

[Billy Gardell]

Yeah. I mean, but you're also. This is a time, you know, this is 40, 50 years or 40 years ago. This is a time where, you know, so much weird stuff was accepted back then. We hadn't evolved, I don't think, to where we are now. And I honestly believe that, you know, sometimes you're just trying to keep it together and keep a roof over your kids heads. You can't always just go, well, you just should have done this. Well, sometimes it's not possible to just do that. But I think in breaking the cycle, you think, all right, well, if I'm going to bring a child into this world, and I think it's just as important for people to know they don't want to do that, I respect either choice. But if you're going to bring a child into this world, you have to look at your playbook and go, what can I do differently that would be better for this person? What can I do to break the cycle of what I went through for this person? And if you make it about them, I think you have a chance of kind of correct and course correcting. Some of that stuff.

[Adam Carolla]

Did. Yeah. I'm a little blamed for mom though, because A, she brought the guy into the.

[Billy Gardell]

House. She did everything she could do, man.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Would he beat her if. Is he that kind of.

[Billy Gardell]

Guy? No, no, it was more about us. It was more about us.

[Adam Carolla]

Really. How old were.

[Billy Gardell]

You? I think I was probably between the ages of 10 and 15 when it was the worst. 10 and.

[Adam Carolla]

15.

And he wouldn't go after her, but he would go after.

[Billy Gardell]

You? Yeah, but he was quick with that belt or quick with whatever was in his hand, you know, and it was just. I'm sure that's what he learned. Like we talk and that's not an excuse, but that's until you're willing to unlearn that you shouldn't be taking the driver's seat. But again, you can't. You know, people fall in love, you hope for the best, you hope it's gonna work.

[Adam Carolla]

Out. But was he an.

[Billy Gardell]

Alcoholic?

One of them might have been maybe right on the edge of it. And the other one's just angry. Just.

[Adam Carolla]

Angry. Oh, really? Just stone cold.

[Billy Gardell]

Sober. Just.

[Adam Carolla]

Angry. Beating on a stranger, 9 year.

[Billy Gardell]

Old. That all comes too from, you know, being filled with fear. I mean, you know, fear outward is rage, Fear inward is depression. You know, so you're. What are you afraid of? And most men are afraid to confront what they're afraid of. And God forbid you say it, you know, you're not a man. All that shit, you.

[Adam Carolla]

Know. You know, but there's also something that's kind of interesting as I think about it. Cause you said, you know, 40 years ago. 40 years ago is 1985. We had the Flock of Seagulls. You know, we were a modern society. But I forget all the time that I grew up in Southern California, in North Hollywood. And I talk to people who are my age and they'll go, but they grew up.

In Louisiana. And they go, oh, yeah, they had a lot of racism in my school. I go, we're the same age. I don't have any racism. What are you talking about? Oh, yeah, there were segregated this and segregated proms and this and that. It was a different time. But I realized the time was not so different in Southern California. Like, it was. We didn't 40 years ago. We were real progressive, you know, beating on the step, kid racism, like, whatever, that this was a different America kind of thing. We didn't really have that because we were so far, I want to say ahead, but everything was so progressive out here that the idea of, like, a segregated promotion in my high school at North Hollywood High sounded insane. But if you grew up in Louisiana, you go, it's a different time. So we were at, like, a different.

[Billy Gardell]

Timeline. I agree. But I also think. It always feels to me like anywhere there's a big city because there's more kinds of people, different kinds of people. You learn to accept and get along better than you do in small towns. You just do. You're, you know, you see people of different nationalities and different cultures in big cities, and it just becomes the rhythm of the city. So you have to learn to evolve like that. I think in a smaller town, you know, the way you're raised is the way you're raised. And I do think hatred is taught. I think racism is taught. If you put six different babies in a crib, they don't know to hate each other. You learn that in the house. And if you never leave your little town, if you never leave your street, then all your. And, you know, you get into listening to the wrong stuff, or you get into a group that's just driving hate all the time. You don't know the experience to have a cognitive moment where you go, no, that's not true. Because I've traveled here and I've seen this. And that's not all true. I don't understand.

[Adam Carolla]

That.

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[Ted Dawson]

Dawson? So if you're looking for a gift that's good for your loved ones and one they'll actually use, we highly recommend Covpure. And because we partnered with them, they're giving you a special $250 holiday discount with our link covpure.com Adam that's C D O V E P U-R-E.com Adam to get $250 off covpure.com Adam hurry before the sale.

[Adam Carolla]

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[Ted Dawson]

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[Adam Carolla]

Information.

Did your stepdad hang around long enough to see your success? Mike and Molly, all that.

[Billy Gardell]

Stuff. The guy that was the worst died. He actually died, and I really didn't care. After that guy was out of my life, I didn't really.

[Adam Carolla]

Care. How old were you when he.

[Billy Gardell]

Died? I think I was probably about 22 when I got that.

[Adam Carolla]

News. Were you doing stand up.

[Billy Gardell]

Then? Yeah, I had started standup at 17 in 1987, and by then I was out on the road and I just. A friend of the family called and said he had passed away, and I was like.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay. He must have been pretty.

[Billy Gardell]

Young. Me or.

[Adam Carolla]

Him. Well, you were 22 at that.

[Billy Gardell]

Time. I think when he came into our lives. He was probably in his late 40s, and I was probably middle teens somewhere in there. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. So he went. You know, he didn't see.

[Billy Gardell]

60. No. I think his heart popped because he was walking around with, you know, rage and anger and all that stuff that kills you.

[Adam Carolla]

Man. Well, good. So he's gone. And what about the other.

[Billy Gardell]

Guy? The other guy eventually passed away, too, and I think he had heart problems.

[Adam Carolla]

But. But did he? I guess what I'm saying is I talked to a lot of athletes and a lot of people, like, you know, dad was estranged, but I was curious. Later on, they get on TV or they win the super bowl or.

[Billy Gardell]

Something. They show back.

[Adam Carolla]

Up. Yeah. Did the guy.

[Billy Gardell]

Circle? No, no.

[Adam Carolla]

Nobody. But he was around for Mike and.

[Billy Gardell]

Molly. I don't know. I guess he was alive, but.

[Adam Carolla]

I didn't mean he was.

[Billy Gardell]

Alive. No, no, because. No, he was gone to 22. I didn't get Mike and Molly till I was.

[Adam Carolla]

35. Well, no, but there's two guys. One guy's gone at 22, and.

[Billy Gardell]

The other guy's gone a little bit later, maybe.

[Adam Carolla]

27. Oh.

[Billy Gardell]

Okay. Yeah, they both kind of passed within five years, so. See, the universe takes care of its.

[Rudy Pavich]

Business. And I'm sorry, I didn't. You haven't mentioned yet what happened. Did your parents just get divorced? Did your dad.

[Billy Gardell]

Die? Yeah. No. No, they got. They just split up when I was a Bali. I want to say I was about 10 or 11. And then my dad was my hero. My dad was the guy that. He was always in my corner like my dad, always. You know, my mom had the same worries. Any Mother has. You want to quit the warehouse? Working at a warehouse, you quit the warehouse? Are you crazy? That's. You can be a foreman, you know, but that's a mother's worry. That's okay. But my dad was always like, you can do this. Because he wanted to be an artist and he never got to realize his dream. He wanted to be an animator for Disney, and he never got to realize his dreams. So he was always behind.

[Adam Carolla]

Me. Was he around long.

[Billy Gardell]

Enough? Yes. I got to do great stuff with him. It was funny because even when we were younger, like when I was 12 and my brother and sister were like 8, like, we would do the school year in Florida because that's where this guy had moved us. And my dad was still back in Pittsburgh. And so they would put us on a Greyhound bus. I don't even think he can do this. Nowadays they put a 12 year old and two 8 year olds on a Greyhound and we would take that from Florida all the way back up up to Pittsburgh and then spend the summer at his house and then back on the Greyhound and back to Florida for the school year. And we did that for three or four years. But that time with my father was unbelievable. And when Mike and Molly hit, I got to do some great stuff with him. I got to bring him out and dress him as one of the cops in the precinct and I got to put him in one of the scenes. So I dial him up and see him whenever I want. I got to take him on a special tour of Disney one year to see their animation department. And then we got to go to the park and they took care of us. So I got to give back to him all those years that he was like, you can't quit. You can do this. Don't worry about it. You can do like. He was my. That was my rock. My papa was my.

[Adam Carolla]

Rock. You got a lot of range in the paternal department, you know, So I had my, you know, my dad was kind of a. My stepdad was kind of a. You know, I just, I kind of. I kept it consistent. You know, neither one of them was a bad guy. They're just kind of, you know, like, neither here nor.

[Billy Gardell]

There. I got very lucky with my pop and the relationship I had with him. I really, really, really am grateful. He had great. He gave me great advice at great moments. You know, like before I went to Hollywood, he said, he goes, all right. He goes, now, you ain't pretty. You don't know nobody. You ain't got no money, so you better outwork Everybody. That was his big advice for Hollywood. Then at 50, he told me, you got to get healthy. You gotta get healthy, man. You gotta get healthy. And then he was funny about it, too. He's like, because if you're old and you're mobile, you can get away with murder. And I said, continue. And he said, because nobody gets mad at old people. You can have fun. Just act confused if you get caught. I was like, this guy's a genius. But the most powerful thing he did was he always taught me that.

He was gonna keep his sense of humor until he passed away. And I actually watched him do it. He died of lung cancer, but he kept his sense of humor to the last moment. And that was the most powerful thing he showed me because it reiterated what he'd been telling me my whole life, which is the only choice you have is how you show up for people. That's it. How you react, how you approach and how much you approach. That's it. Everything else is out of your hands. So that I always try to.

[Adam Carolla]

Carry with me Melissa.

[Billy Gardell]

McCarthy. Love.

[Adam Carolla]

Her. Don't know her. Exquisitely talented. You know, I think there's a lot. There's people, sometimes more women, where you have to kind of pretend how much you love them, but you don't really love them that much. But, you know, Jane Fonda, everyone has to pretend like she's some sort of sage, and she seems like a dope, but anyway. But Melissa McCarthy, you watch her and you go, that's just. Bitch is.

[Billy Gardell]

Funny. She's.

[Adam Carolla]

Amazing. Man, is she.

[Billy Gardell]

Funny. She's amazing. And she's that kind of person, too. She's a genuinely good soul. And that. One of the things with that show was. Was the magic of that cast, because they helped me more than I can ever explain. They really. They took me because, you know, I came out of a comedy club kitchen, like we do. You know, most of them are formally trained. Katie Mixon was Carnegie Mellon, Reno, went to the school of fame, Lou and Swoozie, Broadway, Rondi, come out of Steppenwolf. So I had this amazing. You know, Melissa had already had the Gilmore Girls, and she's the Groundlings in Southern Illinois. And. And so the way we kind of stuck together on that show was so great, but it all stemmed with the first time me and her read. It was one of those moments in Hollywood where you go, oh, that's different than anybody else I've read with. And there was just a connection there from the beginning that was. It carried through the show, and.

[Adam Carolla]

She got super Popular in the middle, early parts of the.

[Rudy Pavich]

Show.

[Billy Gardell]

Right. She Bridesmaids. Yeah. Third year bridesmaids. The third summer. The summer before the third season, bridesmaids came out and shot her into.

[Adam Carolla]

The stratosphere, which has gotta be difficult, you know, can be for partners.

[Billy Gardell]

You. No, I always say this. Everybody loves to ask me this, too. They're like, how'd you feel when she became a. I was in a place where I was newly sober. I had just stopped drinking. I was repairing my marriage, and I had this beautiful gift happen to me. And I was lucky enough to be at that moment in my life where I had that perspective. So.

The reason I was never jealous of any of that, and I could root her on, genuinely, from my heart, I could root her on. To this day, we are still friends. I've never asked her for a thing, nor will I ever, because I love our friendship. I love what we went through together. But the reason I could genuinely root her on is because of the perspective I had of what it could be like. Chuck Lorre called me when the show. If you watch the show, the show kind of goes from being like the Honeymooners the first two seasons to the last three seasons. It kind of becomes like I Love Lucy because they changed the center of the show from Mike to Molly in the third season. And Chuck Lorre called me and he said. He goes, listen, we need to capitalize on the success of Melissa's movie. You know, Rising Tide lifts all boats. It's gonna put more lights on the show. It's gonna make the show bigger, but I need to center her in the story. Are you gonna be cool with that? And I said, without hesitation, chuck, I'll pick her up on the way to work. I'm not going back. Because the gratitude I had was. I couldn't believe what was happening to me. And so I was happy to be a cheerleader when that.

[Adam Carolla]

Happened. I agree. I've been in that position myself, so I understand it. And it's great to be magnanimous and grateful, but there's a practical side, which is when one of your boy band buddies drops a solo album and it goes platinum, you're going, is he leaving the band? Like, it's not. I mean, you cheer for them, you're happy for Timberlake and all that kind of stuff, but there's a practical application of they're.

[Billy Gardell]

Leaving. Well, we were very lucky. The day after the Oscars, she got nominated for the. For an Oscar. And the day for Bridesmaids. Yeah. And when she came in the day after.

You know, her hair was up, she had spilled coffee on her T shirt, and she was bitching about the pickup line. And I thought, we're gonna be all right. You know what I mean? She just came in, very normal Chicago, and I knew we were gonna be.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay. Yeah. So you ended up with six.

[Billy Gardell]

Seasons? Ended up with six on that one. Yeah. Did 128 of those, which was amazing. I miss TV so bad. I miss it so bad. Yeah. Here's why. I like TV and the movies better than the Internet. When you watched a television show or a movie and you saw a true psycho or a true whack job, you went, boy, that's a good.

[Adam Carolla]

Actor.

[Billy Gardell]

Right. You see that on the Internet and you go, that guy's out there walking around. I'm not leaving the house.

I kind of want to go back to the written word, you.

[Rudy Pavich]

Know? Yeah. And TV's getting really good again. I don't know if you guys have watched any of the new south park that's going on, but it feels.

[Billy Gardell]

Like those guys are always.

[Rudy Pavich]

Great. Yeah. It feels like TV and especially network TV has kind of figured out, like, we gotta start to push the.

[Billy Gardell]

Envelope a little bit more every few years, too. It gets so oversaturated, like, everything. And then, you know, the cream rises to the top. I think that the important thing is just keep creating. And I think it's a hybrid now. It's a hybrid world. But I still think. I think it used to be television and movies, and the Internet was a part of that. Now I think it's the Internet, and television and movies are a part of that. But I think in conjunction, they can work very.

[Rudy Pavich]

Nicely. Yeah. I'm also realizing just now that you are completely shitting on a new bit that I've been working.

[Billy Gardell]

On. I.

[Rudy Pavich]

Did. Yes. Because here's. I have figured out in the last probably six years that skinny is the new.

[Billy Gardell]

Sober. Is that.

[Rudy Pavich]

Right? So what happens is, we always used to talk about, man, Motley Crue, they were the best. And then they got sober, and then they sucked. And I've realized that we don't really have that now because a lot of the newer generation, they're not a lot of drug users. Everybody's kind of putting away the booze and kind of moving more towards edibles and weed and. And so skinny is the new sober, meaning you lose a bunch of weight, and now you're not that great of an artist. Jelly Roll got skinny. Music's probably gonna suck. Adele got Skinny. Probably gonna suck. But you're the only one who, like, dropped a bunch of weight. And I go, you know what? Got better as the weight came.

[Billy Gardell]

Out. I don't know if I got better. I got different and wrong is not different. But I had to find. It's weird you said that, because I did have to find kind of a different sound. Like, I didn't have the same presence on stage. I didn't have the same, like, you know, I went from the guy who could walk in a room, go, get out of the way, to, I'm sorry, did I bump you? So I had to adjust to that on stage a little bit, too. And so that's what I've been working on. But I think no matter if you're. Again, it's authenticity. It's.

[Adam Carolla]

Authenticity. I would say. Motley Crue used to rock. And then we got sober. And now they.

[Billy Gardell]

Suck. Well, there's that.

[Adam Carolla]

Too. Cause I've always hated Motley Crue. I've especially hated Motley Crue all the time. Never. Never liked them ever, for anything.

[Rudy Pavich]

Ever. Well, I met them. Like, I came across Motley Crue when I was nine. So to me.

[Adam Carolla]

Especially. Get hold of you at.

[Rudy Pavich]

Nine. Yeah. I was like, this is the greatest thing ever. And then I saw Vince Neil getting a facelift on VH1. And I went, what happened to the.

[Billy Gardell]

Band? I was never into the metal or hair bands. I was always into, like, a lot of guys in my. When I was growing up, it was classic rock. A lot of the classic stuff. AC DC and Led Zeppelin and. And stuff like that. And then when I was down south, I got into Southern rock with the band and Little Feet and stuff like that. But then I really gravitated towards jazz. Cause that's what my dad liked. So I kind of got into that. And then I started really focusing on that. And my dad always referred to jazz as graduation music. He goes, when you're patient enough to listen to jazz, you've graduated. Now. I'm still trying to get there, but I really. I love jazz. Art Blakey was one of my favorites. And Cannonball Adderley. I like these guys that they write a song and it's about a story or an emotion. But they let you try to picture it in your head while they're playing it. And I thought that. I like to listen to that when I try to.

[Adam Carolla]

Write. I love jazz, too, but traditional.

[Billy Gardell]

Jazz. Yeah. Not like Kenny G Jazz. I'm not a fan of the New wave stuff, but the old.

[Adam Carolla]

Stuff. Yeah. And there's a. I remember my dad always Loved jazz. And when I had some success, I ran into somebody who ran the Hollywood bowl and said, I'll set you up for any tickets, any parking. I'll buff you out every time. Here's my number. Yeah. And I said, I'm gonna take my dad to the Playboy Jazz Festival, which they had at the Hollywood bowl every year, by the way. I think Bill Cosby would host every year. And Bill Cosby just makes it weird.

[Billy Gardell]

Now. All those years. Just makes it so weird.

[Adam Carolla]

Now. Bill Cosby did a lot of, like, hosting at the Playboy Mansion for the Bunny Olympics and refereeing and stuff. Like, he was always volunteering.

Over at the Playboy Mansion. It was always there, you.

[Billy Gardell]

Know? God. And knowing all that dark stuff now, you're like, wow, man. How evil was all.

[Adam Carolla]

That? Well, you know, it's. It's interesting. Couple things. I'm always trying to work this real dark joke out, but it's more bizarre if you can find it. Andrew, you watched the beginning of the Cosby show, and you see him up there making the faces and doing the moves and doing a dance. And I've said, if somebody put a camera on you and said, there's no microphone, but there's just a camera, and we're gonna show it to America. You got 15 seconds to prove you're not a rapist.

[Billy Gardell]

Go. You would.

[Adam Carolla]

Do. You would do.

[Billy Gardell]

That. That would be the.

[Adam Carolla]

Dance. That'd be the exact.

[Billy Gardell]

Dance. I'm not a.

[Adam Carolla]

Rapist. You would do. Well, you wouldn't stand there with your arms crossed looking pissed.

[Rudy Pavich]

Off.

[Billy Gardell]

Yeah. No, you wouldn't.

[Adam Carolla]

Leer. You wouldn't lear. You wouldn't lear. You wouldn't slide your hand down the front of your pants real slowly. You would do. You do the little dance. You would do it. If you just watch this, they go. So, Bill, there's going to be no sound. You're not mic'd up. But you got 20 seconds to prove to America you're not a rapist. Here we go.

Very good. Not rapey at.

[Rudy Pavich]

All. Does that mean Felicia is also a rapist then, too? Or.

[Adam Carolla]

No? No, but this guy, Rufy somebody, come on. Look at him. He loves his kids. He loves dance. She's fun.

Oh, it's a simpler time.

Remember, Ellen danced at the beginning of her show, too. Careful with the.

[Billy Gardell]

Dance. Be careful, careful with the dancers. That's what we gotta.

[Adam Carolla]

Watch. What are you compensating for?

I really mean it. I don't act nice. Cause I am. I don't feel un.

[Ted Dawson]

Nice.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. Like, I don't Give her. Women will do it out on the phone. Like they get on the phone with their girlfriend, hey, hi. Oh, and then they hang up and they go fucking. And they get angry at the person or whatever. I don't do it, but I don't have a thing inside of me that feels like I'm compensating or I need to overcompensate for something. You know, I don't trust the outward nice. You know, there's a couple of people out there, like, you know, like Henry Winkler, right. He's just a super nice guy. But then there's kind of sacchariny nice, you know what I.

[Billy Gardell]

Mean? Well, I think that's. Well, I think that might be a little bit of a self issue as well. Like when you see somebody that's overly happy and you grow up sarcastic, you can't help but go, what the fuck are you so happy about? But I don't think that's healthy.

[Adam Carolla]

Either. I'm just saying.

I'm saying Bill Cosby dance at the front of his show, and Ellen dance at the front of her.

[Billy Gardell]

Show. I can't.

[Adam Carolla]

Dance. And there's something they want us to think about them. And she would always end every show with like, be good people or something like that too, right? And it's like, all right. That's something that a person that had a darker side would have underneath. Well, first off, if you guys remember the first iteration of Rosie o' Donnell and their cutie patootie chub club, I have a date. I've got a crush on Tom Cruise and David Cassidy's coming in. I worked with the guy who was a producer on that show. He said she was the worst person in the world. Like, the second she was done with this veneer of super nice, she just walked backstage, starts screaming at everyone, and fired. Well, now we know the real Rosie, right? This is the.

[Billy Gardell]

Real. It's basically, I don't know.

[Adam Carolla]

Her. No, it's like. But what I'm saying is it's like being gay, but you can't come out of the closet because it'll crush your career. But now you're 65 and you're just gay. You married a guy, you're out, you're open. You know, this is the out in the open Rosie, the angry Rosie. This is who she always was. But that's not gonna fly when you're trying to do a daytime TV show in 1996, you know what I mean? So she created this character which is, you know, John Wayne Gacy being A clown or something, you know what I mean? Like, it's like an alter. Not that he's as bad as.

[Billy Gardell]

Her, but what I'm saying, A secret villain double.

[Adam Carolla]

Identity. Yes. They created because they knew this was in them, that Ellen created a daytime TV character that doesn't exist. She's not that person. And by the way, I'm fine with a person not being that.

[Billy Gardell]

Person. But be that again. Be what you are.

Don't pretend you're not.

[Adam Carolla]

That. So I live here my whole life. And I would pass the Hollywood bowl and see the signs for the jazz festival. I'd see it in the Playboy, there's Bill Cosby up there hosting the jazz festival, dancing. And I just thought, and one day. Now my dad would never go to the Hollywood bowl, even though he lived three miles from the Hollywood bowl his entire life. And even though he loved jazz. The notion of him buying a ticket to an all day jazz festival would have been unthinkable because it would have been $23 or something. And it was like he would have never. I don't even know how he would have bought the ticket. Like he didn't have a credit card. So then I got older, I made money. I ran into this guy, said, like one day I just said to my dad, I just go, why don't we go to the Playboy Jazz Festival? Like, I'm hooked up. We get free parking and vip. This. The guy will give us a booth and a thing and we can go watch jazz at the jazz festival. And you love jazz. And he said, oh, okay. And it's like a thing that starts at noon, it goes to 10 at night, you know, and it's over two days or three days. Anyway, dad and I pull up there, I don't know, two in the afternoon. We sit down. First band that comes out is the kind of progressive, new wave, jazzy, Kenny G channel.

[Billy Gardell]

Keyboard. And the keyboard's on the strap.

[Adam Carolla]

Saxophone.

Guy'S keyboard swinging around his lap. Your keyboard, keyboard shouldn't be crushing your dick while you're playing. You should be able to stand back. I like the 80s bands where they took two and they moved them as far apart as possible. The guy would play them both. I got to see where they're setting the stage. I was like, we got to spread them out. They're too close. I need a full squat. Like, I need to look like Lester Hayes out on an island, you know, like down. I'm putting snow, stick them on my wrist, you know, like someone there must have been like an attack who went, we should put the Casios closer. No, no.

[Billy Gardell]

No. We want some danger.

[Adam Carolla]

Involved. We want danger involved. Right, so that's the first one. And then, and then, and then like the world jazz music band comes out. That's the backed up Paul Simon in the 80s band that's got 800 people from some village in Africa playing a gourd, you know. And then another like good looking, you know, 22 year old progressive guy with the blonde hair, young, you know, white guy doing his progress. We sat there for about an hour and a half. We heard no jazz that we recognized. And like at some point my dad like looked at me and he just went, can we.

[Billy Gardell]

Leave? And I was like, this is a big.

[Adam Carolla]

Hookup. And I was like.

[Billy Gardell]

Sure. How long you want to.

[Adam Carolla]

Stay? Yeah. I was like, yeah, let's just get.

[Billy Gardell]

Going. What the sentiment was.

[Adam Carolla]

That. And I was like, that's on me for trying to do something. Yeah, I knew, I knew it wouldn't, I knew it wouldn't.

[Billy Gardell]

Work. The sentiment was correct.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. I'm just telling you the jazz festival, you know, you think you're going to be listening to Dave Brubeck for five hours, you are not. You're listening to fucking world music and tons of shit you don't care.

[Billy Gardell]

For or know about or know.

[Rudy Pavich]

About. And jazz guys are in that world. Like that is what they are into. You get into an Uber, like you go to Monterey, California where, where.

[Billy Gardell]

The Monterey Jazz Festival is Mothership there.

[Rudy Pavich]

Yeah. And you get in and there's a guy in there and he's got on, you know, the funky hat and the whole thing has got like music note stickers all over the car and he's like tapping on the dashboard and you're like, oh, you play the drums, you jazz guy. Nah, I just moved here cause I love.

[Adam Carolla]

Jazz. That's his whole life. Yeah, I would go but I just need to see the.

[Billy Gardell]

Schedule.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. Like when the Kenny Chi guys.

[Billy Gardell]

You gotta find the stuff that you did. And I like that old stuff, Coleman Hawkins and I like that.

[Adam Carolla]

Stuff. But way so did Jim.

[Billy Gardell]

Carolla. There are some young artists playing that stuff. You just have to seek it.

[Adam Carolla]

Out. I will accept that. But we just hit the wrong pocket, you.

[Billy Gardell]

Know. You were there in the afternoon. Yeah, it doesn't get cool till about 7 o'.

[Adam Carolla]

Clock. Yeah, well, my dad's got to go to bed when the street lights come on. So I always think about Kenny G. Like for me, if I'm picking out an instrument, part of it is do I like the way it sounds. But the other part is, how do I look playing this instrument? You know? And you look pretty good on a drum kit. You look pretty good playing a guitar. Right? But sax, you look good on a sax. So I'd be like, I'd love that vision of me like Rob Lowe and St. Elmo's Fire up on the roof, just up there blowing away and everyone's cheering and everything. But he's playing some kind of weird oboe, piccolo thing that looks like he's blowing.

[Billy Gardell]

Up. It's a mix between a clarinet, an oboe and a.

[Adam Carolla]

Sax. Right. But it's horrible looking. It just looks like shit and you look dumb playing.

[Billy Gardell]

It. And so there's no. It looks like that instrument in the band where everybody has the cool instruments and then you get there late and they're like, okay, you're on trangle.

[Adam Carolla]

Right? You got what's left? Yeah, the sloppy seconds.

[Rudy Pavich]

Clarinet. I thought you're going to say the. The Cantina Band from Star.

[Adam Carolla]

Wars. I've seen that instrument before. Exactly. Yeah. No, you want Rob Lowe. St. Elmo's Fire.

[Billy Gardell]

Sax. Where did you guys meet?

[Adam Carolla]

Prison. Yeah.

So why doesn't Kenny G trade in that weird dildo piccolo he's playing for a manly.

[Billy Gardell]

Saxophone? I think that that's his latest album. Dildo.

[Adam Carolla]

Piccolo. Is it that the new one?

And also, the hair's not helping that thing.

[Billy Gardell]

Either. Listen, man, you got curly hair. You just got to roll with it. What are you going to.

[Adam Carolla]

Do? I got curly.

[Billy Gardell]

Hair. What are you going to do? You got to roll with.

[Adam Carolla]

That. I know, but there's a way of shaping it where it doesn't have to look like Rachel Dolezal. Deep cut.

Rachel Dolezal's hair looked very.

[Rudy Pavich]

Curly. Very, very curly. It was like spirally.

[Adam Carolla]

Curled. Yeah, yeah, but she was gaming for suspect. You got good.

[Billy Gardell]

Hair. I'm okay. I gotta style it. Otherwise it looks like a public golf course. But I'm doing all.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. Morgan and Morgan. There's a reason why Tom Brady's got seven rings. He's good. And there's a reason why Morgan and Morgan's America's largest injury law firm. Over 20 billion recovered from more than 500,000 clients. That's not a slogan. That's results. In one Florida case, insurance offered 350,000 bucks. Client walked away with 12 million. They've been doing this for 35 years, fighting for the people. Morgan and Morgan. These guys have a sense of humor, too, because I've talked to them before. You've seen the commercials. They're number one for a reason. Morgan and Morgan, America's largest injury law firm for the people, not for the powerful. Am I right.

[Ted Dawson]

Dawson? If you're ever injured, you can check out Morgan and Morgan. Their fee is free unless they win. For more information, go to forthepeople.com Adam or dial Law529 from your cell phone. That's F O R the people.com Adam or Law529 from your cell. This is a paid.

[Adam Carolla]

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[Ted Dawson]

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[Adam Carolla]

Today.

Now, Richard Marks told me that Kenny G's a good dude and a good friend and he could get him on the show. So I should probably be nice and have him on. And then at a certain point, I think it kind of becomes your.

[Billy Gardell]

Thing. The guy's a tremendous musician. It's just that whatever that noise is doesn't sound like the jazz I grew up.

[Adam Carolla]

With. That's the only reason why he must be able to play an alto.

[Billy Gardell]

Sax. I'm sure he can play probably eight versions of that whole. Yeah, the alto, the tenor. I'm sure he can play all of.

[Adam Carolla]

Them. Now we're looking at Richard Marks playing a.

[Rudy Pavich]

Saxophone. Now that was a.

[Billy Gardell]

Cool. Talk about a cool.

[Adam Carolla]

Guy. Oh, he's a nice.

[Billy Gardell]

Guy. He's a cool.

[Rudy Pavich]

Guy. I was so disappointed that I wasn't on the show the day you had him in here, like, two weeks ago. Because I.

[Billy Gardell]

Secretly. Cool.

[Rudy Pavich]

Guy. He was such a nice guy. Yeah. And. And I was such a fan when I was in, like, eighth, ninth.

[Billy Gardell]

Grade. But I said, was there a better rock song to come to Hollywood? And then. Don't mean nothing. I mean, come.

[Rudy Pavich]

On. But I had to keep it quiet from everybody about my love for Richard Marks. And then I.

[Billy Gardell]

Was. I. I was a. When I was younger, I was a closeted Duran Duran fan. It took me a while to come.

[Rudy Pavich]

Out.

[Billy Gardell]

Sure. Hold on. Because all my buddies were listening to the Clash, and I love the.

[Adam Carolla]

Clash, but I get.

[Billy Gardell]

It. The girls are dancing to.

[Adam Carolla]

Duran. We're looking at Rob Lowe. By the way, that's St. Elmo shot right there. Yeah. He had the Richard Marks hair, and it's very Richard Marxy, but that is him.

[Billy Gardell]

Yeah. Cigarette in the hand.

[Adam Carolla]

Too. You had to.

It was weird. It's like, I remember when I first met Kimmel.

I was like, what shows you watching? Because, you know, when you meet a guy who does comedy, you go, who do you like? You know, what, are you trying to get a gauge? You know what I mean? And he goes, you know, we liked Woody Allen, Albert Brooks, you know, that kind of stuff. And I go, what sitcoms you like? And he goes.

Well, what do you like? And I was like.

Well, let's just say it at the same time. We're like, I like alf. He's like, I like alf, too. That's great. He goes, I like alf, too. But it was like coming out of the closet. Like, we're looking around. We don't get to be judged. Because he should have said Bob Newhart. So I think he had some street cred. But he liked alf, and I liked alf, too. But ALF is Duran.

[Billy Gardell]

Duran. Yeah, you.

[Adam Carolla]

Just. You're not gonna get any street.

[Billy Gardell]

Cred. But you get older and you start to go, I just like what I like. Yeah. And that's freedom. Yeah, that's freedom right there. When you like what you like and you don't care what others like without being a jag off about it, that's. You live a pretty peaceful.

[Adam Carolla]

Life. Life. If ALF could cover a Richard Mark song and be backed up by Duran Duran with Kenny G as. Kenny G as a guest, that would be the.

[Billy Gardell]

Greatest. Now we got something. Whatever you do now, we.

[Rudy Pavich]

Got. I will be right here waiting for you.

Remember those little bumpers he would always do for some reason? I remember the one where he goes, before you get up for that final snack, I want you to know, I got your.

[Billy Gardell]

Cat.

[Rudy Pavich]

Hey. And they would go to commercial like that. That was.

[Adam Carolla]

Great. It was a simpler.

[Billy Gardell]

Time. Yeah, it.

[Adam Carolla]

Was. And tv, I mean, you were basically riding sort of that last wave of network, you know, four camera sitcoms stuff. I mean, my buddy Kevin Hench does it with Tim Allen and shifting gears and that kind of stuff.

And I'm kind of wondering, is there gonna be a renaissance and for you, do you go out for stuff? Do you audition for stuff? Do you create.

[Billy Gardell]

Stuff? I am. Right now I'm actually gonna pitch a show to CBS for me and the gentleman who played my partner on Mike and Molly, Reno Wilson, who's a dear friend of mine. He's like my brother and we want to do one more together. I would do a sitcom thing if the rights, because I've done two good ones and I don't want to do a bad one. So if the right opportunity presented. But my.

The thing I want next is to try to find a role in a procedural, like an hour long show or even on television. Like I want to play the burned out fire chief and I want to play or the mayor or say, you know, I don't need to be carrying the whole show, I don't need to be the star. I love acting and I'd love to get like a fourth or fifth lead on one of those shows where you're, you're just doing four or five scenes a week and you get to do that, you get to be in the playground, you're not carrying the whole show and you get to be a part of something that you wouldn't have normally been a part of. And now I want to do that. I've had to reintroduce myself to the industry because the industry, you know, the casting changes, they get younger, they don't know who you are or what you've done. So I've got had to come in in this new form and I kind of had to give up what I had stapled myself. I was always the big guy, so I was stapled as that. But my health is more important so I had to change everything. But now I have to kind of start over. And it's kind of that way in standup for me too. It's kind of a beginning again. But as an artist, you love.

[Adam Carolla]

That. Speaking of stapling, was the stomach, was it bariatric.

[Billy Gardell]

Surgery? I did the full monty, the bariatric surgery, the bypass. And the doctor said there's like three versions. There's the sleeve, there's that, then there's the. Some other new thing they're doing now. But for me, that one was the one they said would be best because it has a really high percentage of completely reversing type 2 diabetes. And mine went away. And so I was really grateful for.

[Adam Carolla]

That. And, you know, I hear great stories about it. I hear horror stories about.

[Billy Gardell]

It. It's not free, man. There's other stuff that comes with. With it. No.

[Adam Carolla]

Doubt. And does it. I mean, is it OIC esque in that you just cannot eat as much as you used to eat, or does it change the way you eat it?

[Billy Gardell]

Both. I did OIC for the first year. It was out and I was actually a spokesperson for them, but I was taking it for type 2. This is before they knew it was a weight loss drug. And.

[Adam Carolla]

Then. Oh, before they knew it was weight.

[Billy Gardell]

Loss. Yeah, they.

[Adam Carolla]

Didn'T. Oh, yeah, we used to do the commercials in the.

[Billy Gardell]

Park. But I, I was just doing. Yeah. Which was ridiculous. I wasn't running, but I was taking that for type two to try to manage that. And it did work that way. But they didn't know yet that it was a weight loss drug. If I'd have known that, I may have gone that way. I don't know. I just knew that I was in a place where I had to do something to change because medically I was in trouble. So I got that surgery. But like I said, I always tell people, if you're gonna do it, make sure you know what's on the other side of it to maintain it. Because one in four go back to that weight and it causes all sorts of bad problems. If you get heavy again after having the surgery is there's esophageal problems, stomach problems, digestive problems. And so it's not free. I mean, it costs you. You're going to have extra skin, you're going to have, you know, you're going to have absorption with your vitamins that you have to overcompensate for. And there's a psychological. Like I always say, the fat hulk is still in there. Like, I'll be cutting a carrot in here. Pizza. Like, we're not doing that. Shut.

[Adam Carolla]

Up. So, hey.

[Billy Gardell]

Koolaid. Yeah, he's in there, man. So you have to really understand what you're embracing. It's a window of opportunity. Just like any of these other things, whether it's a weight loss drug, whether it's going to the gym every single day and not eating carbs, whatever you're doing, that's a window to get better. But what comes after that is you have to be steady in treating it every day. Like, I put food on the same shelf as booze. For me, it's dangerous. I can't. I was like, I hear people all the time, go, well, just take a walk and eat some fish. Like, well, if it was that easy, man, every heavy person would do that. But it's your relationship with food. It's how you, you know, you drink or you use or you eat after a big emotion, right? It was a good emotion. We need to enhance it, get more. It was a bad emotion. We need to comfort it so we don't feel the uncomfortable. So it's about recinda configuring your relationship with that. And if you can get that, then you can get to it. And the other thing I always messed up was I always would say I was always quitting shit on, like, the first or Monday. Those are my two days. The first or Monday, this is it. And then trying to wake up and go, oh, I'm going to be disciplined. Well, no, you're not. That's not real. So the food nutritionist therapist that I have, Terry Hubleck, who's amazing, she said to me, you don't just get to decide your discipline. And you wouldn't. You fought for a while, right? You're a boxer, right? You know, discipline comes from consistency. You get consistent, and the reward is discipline. But to wake up and think, I'm just going to be disciplined today, that doesn't get it. You have to put the time in. Consistent, consistent, not going to do it. Perfect. Consistent, consistent. Then before you know it, it's a habit. And once it's a habit, you're.

[Rudy Pavich]

Disciplined. Did you try many different.

[Billy Gardell]

Times? Oh, dude, I gained the same 35 goddamn pounds and lost it every single, every single.

[Adam Carolla]

Year. So what's the regimen now? Like what? I always talk to people that have been through this. What's breakfast? What's lunch? What's dinner? What's the.

[Billy Gardell]

Exercise? It's Groundhog's Day is what it is. And you have to be able to commit to that, too. But I'm okay with repetitive because that, again, helps me stay. It helps me not think about the choice. I get up, I have, like, a little egg white breakfast sandwich that's very small. Never eat more than 12 ounces at a time. And then it's cottage cheese and berries and it's, you know, I gotta get 75 ounces of water every day, my vitamins every day, every two weeks. I'm lucky Enough that I can afford to go get like one of those hydration IVs, the Myers cocktail. Because one of the side effects of this surgery is after a couple years, you don't absorb your vitamins as well because your stomach goes from being normal sized with three blood sources to like that with one blood source. So you're not digesting and separating like you should. So you have to kind of overcompensate these.

[Adam Carolla]

Things. For those who are listening, understand, your stomach goes from alto sax Rob.

[Billy Gardell]

Love to the Kenny G. To the Kenny G. That's actually the sleeve. The sleeve would be the Kenny G. That would be the.

[Adam Carolla]

Sleeve. I'm painting a picture for people who are driving or hiking.

[Billy Gardell]

Right? Yeah, I would. My stomach went from the size of a watermelon to an.

[Adam Carolla]

Orange. Really?

And you get the iv, the infusion of the.

[Billy Gardell]

Vitamins. I do that every couple weeks because it just. If you can get it sublingually, that gets into your stomach and then.

[Adam Carolla]

What'S a cheat day look like? And how does that.

[Billy Gardell]

Look? Sundays is a cheat day. And it's two slices of pizza. And I feel like I've had a Thanksgiving dinner. That's one of the gifts of the surgery is you immediately feel signals when you're full. I used to just eat till it hurt or I was sweating or both. And then I thought, now it's time to stop because I just didn't have those signals. But now, man, that's it. I feel it and I'm done. I don't push past that because your body will revolt too, if you.

[Adam Carolla]

Do. And what are you doing for.

[Billy Gardell]

Exercise? Not enough. I'm really committing to the gym this week because by losing a lot of that weight, I atrophied a lot because you lose it. It so quickly. So I'm trying to get a routine now where it's three days of cardio and three days of light weights, high reps. That's what I'm working on.

[Adam Carolla]

Now. I'd be interested to figure out, like, I know people like Dr. Drew likes working out. And I would say that's. I don't know many people who like working out. People, they go, I feel better when I'm done working. Yeah, everyone feels better when they're done doing a bunch of shit. But look, I feel better when I'm done cleaning the garage, but I don't look forward to cleaning the garage. But everything you don't want to do, you're glad you did, sort of when it's over. But there's a small percentage. And Dr. Who's one of them likes it and just goes, I enjoy it. And then there's probably the same percentage of people that are just, just they won't do it. Like, I can't stand.

[Billy Gardell]

It. Like, I can't stand it either. I can't. I hate it. I know what it does for me mentally. And like you said, you're leaving the gym, you feel great. But that drive over there is an epic trick for me every time. Like you might as well have, like Indiana Jones, the arrows going at me and the boulder behind me, because I can't stand.

[Adam Carolla]

It. I've even had fantasies I've had. I've even thought about. I used to think about, like back in the days, like driving to the gym. Like, I go, I would think if I get hit and killed by a semi truck, I fucking pray it's on the way to the gym. If I'm driving home and I get cleaned out my semi truck, I'm gonna be so pissed when I see St. Peter. Right. So I'll tell you something that I've kind of figured out is a guy who. Yeah, same way. I don't love it. I hate it. I can't stand it.

I got a rowing machine and 20 minutes and it's front and center. Like it's in my living room. Like, you cannot escape the rowing machine. Yeah. And it's like from Little House of Horrors, like, feed me, you know, like you can't watch TV and not see it, you know? And I've found there's a million times where I go, I'm not going to the gym. I'm not getting it together. I'm not getting dressed, I'm not whatever. But that 20 minute rowing machine that sits there, you cannot avoid it. And it's never. I don't have enough time. I've run to whatever. And if you can do something, if you can have something like that. Because I think the problem is.

They opened a gym. So funny. But I was waiting for the Equinox gym in Malibu or the Palisades to open up for like five months and they kept.

[Billy Gardell]

Equinox. That's one of. That's the real high end gym.

[Adam Carolla]

Right? Yeah. But I got a free membership because I have a black American Express card.

[Billy Gardell]

So. They gave you a free.

[Adam Carolla]

Membership?

[Billy Gardell]

Yeah. Oh, that's.

[Adam Carolla]

Good. Right? So, yeah, I would never. That's justifiable, you know, 28 grand a.

[Billy Gardell]

Year. It's like going into Erewhon, you're.

[Adam Carolla]

Like, I can't afford to be Here.

[Billy Gardell]

There'S only two TV shows and I.

[Adam Carolla]

Can'T afford to eat an.

[Billy Gardell]

Erwin. How's.

[Adam Carolla]

That? No, I. Yeah, you can't. But I can. I can't either. But I can. But it's like a mentality, like it's a principle. I'll say like my, I'll literally, I'll have stuff where like I'll have like one of my kids backpacks or something and I'll go, God damn, they left it in my. I gotta bring it. I don't want to go. And then my girlfriend will go, well, just throw it in the back of an Uber and have the Uber drive it out to Lana. And I'll go, no, you can't do that. No, I'll get an Uber turn in my 3Dol. No, I'll walk it over there. Yeah, but anyway, I'll show you. Anyway, the point is, is I'll show you a clip real fast here. Just because Andrew brought it up, I wasn't going to do it. But the Equinox gyms behind me, that's a gym I used to belong to and it's been closed ever since the fire. It's been over nine months now. But good news, fat asses, there's another establishment across the street that opened almost immediately and has been open ever since.

Taco Bell. And that's why we're fat. Yeah, that gym. So that gym, even though they.

[Billy Gardell]

Play, that's like why the dentist gives you a piece of candy on your way out. We'll see you.

[Adam Carolla]

Soon. Yeah, I, I sat, waited for six months for that gym to open and then it finally opened, literally after Christmas. And I was like, all right, no excuses now you gotta go on your way into work. And I went. And four days after that, the whole place burned down. That's when the fire.

[Billy Gardell]

Started. There's your omen.

[Adam Carolla]

Adam. Right. And now it's a year later and the gym's still closed. And that'd be all I needed to go. All right, that's it, that's that. It's with that. But the rowing machine system is still there. You know what I mean? And if you can find something, I found the biggest problem people have is it's like you said, I'm waiting till the first, I'm waiting till Monday, I'm waiting till New Year's, I'm waiting. And they go, no, no, you gotta do a little bit every day. And some days you're gonna have gonna be big, but there can't be nothing days, right? And, and the problem With a schedule. Like you're on. Like we're on. Whatever. You just get home after shooting Byron Allen show, and it's nine at night, and you go, I can't go to the gym. I can't. But that rowing machine's sitting right there, and it's 20 minutes. And you cannot justify going, I don't got 20.

[Billy Gardell]

Minutes. That's a healthy attitude. Attitude for that sounds like a fighter's attitude right there. That's a good.

[Rudy Pavich]

House. Hate walking. Walking.

[Billy Gardell]

Was. You want to stop using that rowing machine. Just hang one shirt on.

[Rudy Pavich]

It. Yeah, right. It all becomes like a.

[Billy Gardell]

Laundry. Put one box or a few books on it. Yeah, you'll never move it.

[Adam Carolla]

Again. Yeah.

[Rudy Pavich]

That'S. That's the thing about. I hated walking for the longest time. And now that I live in Las Vegas, I live across the street from the Sphere. So every day I get about 20,000 steps in because I leave the house and I take a. You know, I go like, up the link promenade, past the Sphere, up the Link promenade, out to Las Vegas Boulevard, up through Mandalay Bay, all the way down, come back around. And I only do it for the people.

[Adam Carolla]

Watching. Oh, Andy hands out flyers for strip clubs. He's not as successful as you are in the standup realm. And he's walking.

[Billy Gardell]

Anyway. I'm not a guy that ever likes to walk outside. I am. That is the one thing I like. We have an elliptical in our house. I like doing it inside. I hate nature. I like, like, I like being. I respect it. I'm just not involved. I don't want to. Like, my wife and my kid love. Like, they'll go on hikes. They'll go to the forest. They love that stuff. I'm a city kid. I like walking in the city. Like, when I go to New York, boom, I'm gone. I love City will carry it. Chicago the same way, but you can have nature. I'm not really. Like, I like the water, but I don't like the beach. Like, I just. I need my.

[Rudy Pavich]

Specifications. I'll be on a boat with.

[Billy Gardell]

You. The.

[Adam Carolla]

Sand. I don't want to do it. But the moral of the story is something. Find something and just do it. And I talk to way too many people who are telling me I'm gonna get a membership. And it's like, just take a hike. Just do something. Move. Just do.

[Billy Gardell]

Something. Just.

[Adam Carolla]

Move. Billy, I want to give you a plug.

[Billy Gardell]

Before. Thank you for having me on, too. I know you have a busy schedule and a big crowd here. I appreciate, Appreciate.

[Adam Carolla]

It. We're big fans. Less is more tour show's coming up December 6, December 19, December 30, all over the country. And I think you should go to BillyGardell G A R D E L L.com for all live.

[Billy Gardell]

Dates. That's got every link to every little thing that's gonna book me. Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

Sir. And I know you're pretty local, so come by anytime you.

[Billy Gardell]

Want. Well, I really appreciate that and thank you for having me on, man. I am. I am trying to make my way in the Internet world and I certainly appreciated this. Thank you.

[Adam Carolla]

Man. Thanks, Billy. All right, take a quick break. Rudy will do the news right after this.

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[Ted Dawson]

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[Adam Carolla]

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[Ted Dawson]

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[Billy Gardell]

[e-mail].

So this is.

[Adam Carolla]

August.

The stoned pelican.

Hit the buffet before.

[Billy Gardell]

Him.

Or.

[Adam Carolla]

He'Ll leave you with none.

Oh, yes, it's Mike August.

The world's cheapest man.

Stole the toilet paper.

From the hotel can.

His name is Michael Gus.

He'S the world's cheapest one.

He sell his own grandma.

For a couple of bucks.

His name is Mike youngest.

Stole his brother in law's.

[Billy Gardell]

Shoes.

[Adam Carolla]

Such a pair Any pension.

People think he's a Jew.

Merry Christmas, Mike August.

That's who this song is about.

He'd be pissed if he heard it.

But he's too, too nice.

All true.

We'll keep those songs.

[Rudy Pavich]

Coming.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Thanks to Rich Banks and Mike as well. All right. I wanted to talk to you.

Because, you know, because you're from Minnesota. The whole Somali thing, it's all up in the news now and there's a danger to what's going on over there. I think we have a clip of the mayor and he's speaking in Somali and doing all that stuff. I worry about this. People.

Hate me because I don't like all the diversity shit because it ends up this way, because it can't go any other way. But they call it xenophobic or racist or something. But I wanna say this, and I've said it my whole career, that I've spoken into a microphone, which is Somalia is Somalia because it's filled with Somalians and Mexico is Mexico because it's filled with Mexicans. And Sweden's Sweden because it's filled with Swedes. It is what it is. And Germany's Germany and Italy's Italy. You can say whatever you want about any place. And I made this joke a million times, a million years ago. They go, they know this thing they do with all these Middle Eastern countries. They go, it's the people. The people are good. The people are good, honest, hard working people. It's the governor, it's the politicians. And I go, where are they from? From? Yeah. Oh, what part of Norway? Do your shithole ashtray. Middle Eastern country. Where do you get, oh, they're from your country. Oh, they're you. And then you vote them in. So let's not pretend that everything is the same yeah, we Somali has. It's 20, 25. You guys still have pirates. You understand what year it is? You understand. You do human trafficking, you have pirates, you have shit slavery. You have shit that we don't haven't had for 200 years around here. So let's not all pretend everything's the same. And by the way.

I would prefer.

A German car to an American car. Sure. Okay. All right. So I'm not USA number one. Rah, rah, rah all the time. There's plenty of other countries. If you said to me, I'm gonna get an electric razor, would you like one made in Germany, one made in Canada, one made in Mexico, or one made in America? I'll go. I'll take the German one. I'm not going USA per.

[Billy Gardell]

Se. Okay.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay. There's differences. There's differences in cultures. There's differences. We don't. For instance, the United States, we don't haggle. In Middle Eastern countries, if you don't haggle, you're considered retarded. Like there's something wrong with you. You know what I mean? There's just cultural differences. Okay, fine. And then some involve, like, female genital mutilation. And we go, well, we don't like that. And then others are like, every night in this culture, Sunday night, the grandparents and the parents, they all come together and they all have dinner together. I go, good, because my family got TV dinners and ran to separate rooms and watched a TV set. Okay, fine, that's a good thing. But don't expect when you import a lot of people from a certain place that they're not gonna just start doing whatever it is they did in their place. Because that's what they.

[Billy Gardell]

Do.

[Adam Carolla]

La. When you drive through certain parts of la, it looks like a goddamn street bazaar. There is cooking, There's. There's sweaters, there's ponchos. There's stuff being sold all over the street that never existed. It was impossible. I grew up here. Nobody sold anything on the street. You would go to a garage sale on a Sunday and drive around. People sell shit out of their garage. There was no commerce. There was no food. There's no. Well, now it's here, and we have a lot of it. Why? Well, we had a bunch of people who come from a culture who do that. Now, should we be angry at them? Not really. They're just doing what they did in their culture. And by the way, they're playing their music. They're not playing your Motley Crue, they're playing Mariachi Shout. They go from Motley to Mary Motley. So, okay, now, there are certain cultures that treat women a certain way, treat gays a certain way, treat the environment a certain way. There's certain cultures that are trashier. They don't recycle as much. And there are other cultures, like Japanese or Festivious, that clean up a lot. Okay, when you invite all these people in, you're going to get that. And I told you, when I was walking through my dad's old neighborhood in South Philly and I was doing shows in Philly, and I had some time, and I literally went to his old address in South Philly that I hadn't been to since I was 6. And I walked around South Philly, and it's a shit show, and there's garbage everywhere, and there's box springs and mattresses and old sofas on the street. It looks like what it is, right? And I felt bad for my dad, who grew up in South Philly. And I literally crossed the street. I was walking through the neighborhood, and I just crossed one intersection to the other side, immediately sparkling clean. No more garbage. No more junk out on the street. No more box rings or sofas. Nothing but conveniently clean. And I. Because I'm a pattern studier, I just stopped. It was me and Mike August walking around. He was looking for toilet paper. And I went, what's going on over here? And he's like, now all of a sudden, it's all orderly and clean and nice. Oh, yeah, yeah. There's no garbage over just across the street. So I started working my brain. I was like, one side must be the city and must be the county or something like that. And the county takes care of their shit, but the city, whatever. And I was obsessed with it. And I kept asking, I started seeing the people. I go, what's the difference? We just crossed over Main street here. This is the Japanese section. Section.

I go, oh, they clean up their shit. It's a culture. Yeah, that's the Japanese. When you cross Hoover street, you're in Japanese territory. And Japanese people don't tolerate shit all over the fucking sidewalk. Okay? Then you can go, is that good or bad? I don't know. I like clean sidewalks, so I'd be fine with that. So then if someone said, what if we're gonna take Japanese and import them into your neighborhood? I'd go, clean sidewalk. All right, I'll do with that. But there are other cultures that are a little more trash oriented. And I would go, no, I'm not all right with that. So this notion, let's just hear the mayor doing what's bound to happen. Cause once you keep importing these people, then they become a constituency. And then you have to start thinking about them because that's your voting block. So then the white guy, go ahead. That's not American. That's not what we are about. And we're going to do right by every single person in our cities. And so to our Somali community. Daman Shabka, Somalia. Kunul, Minnesota. Garahan, Minneapolis. Wa' an kuji.

[Rudy Pavich]

Janilah.

It sounds so pandering, doesn't it? It sounds like you're just completely sucking off the people who vote for you that live in that.

[Adam Carolla]

State. Right? And so what happens is, the reason I don't want the teachers unions funding Gavin Newsom's campaign is because then when Covid comes around, you shut the fucking schools down. And Gavin Newsom can't tell you to open them even if he wants it open, because he needs you and he needs. He needs your support and he needs your money. So now you got Mayor Jacob Fry of Minneapolis, and he has to kowtow to this community. And now we're fucked because their community isn't the same as our community. And assimilation is fine, but you don't assimilate when you become a community. Cause why do you need to assimilate? You got your food, you got your people, you got your. You got your language, you got religion, you have everything else. Then they have to bend over backwards and explain that they're the backbone of democracy in this country and everything like that. But you know it, cuz you live.

[Rudy Pavich]

There. Well, here's the thing is, he's totally as you're talking about, like, you know, pandering to the constituency, the people that are gonna vote for him and the people that are on his side. But the second that he does anything that is against them, boy, they turn their backs on him. Him immediately. Andrew, I should have brought this up to you, but see if you can find a video. This was during George Floyd, where during a protest, Mayor Fry went down to go have a conversation with the protesters. And essentially a woman with a bullhorn tells him to get his white ass off her.

[Adam Carolla]

Street. And he does it. Well, here's the whole thing. It'll never work. Big picture, big picture. They're always gonna fucking hate you. You'll never do enough. But what the problem is, this becomes your constituency and your voter bloc bullshit. Then they start laundering money. And it's always the euphemistic. It's kids first, who care the most or whatever, feed the hungry, whatever. And then they start laundering the fucking money. Cuz it's free fucking money. And they're doing what they would.

[Rudy Pavich]

Do. Yeah. And I said this a year ago, before any of this information came out about the fraud with the autism centers and all that, because people would always say, like, ah, what's going on in Minneapolis? It's a total shithole now. And it's not. Everything about Minneapolis is great. That whole city, the twin cities, Minneapolis, St. Paul. St. Paul's got a couple of problems in Lower Town after they put the light rail in. A lot of crime is happening in St. Paul right now. Minneapolis is still pretty good, but it's not Portland, it's not Seattle. It's not like 6th street in Austin. It's none of those things. It's a small block. And I always say if there's anything going on, it's gonna be something in government, it's gonna be something behind the scenes that we're not seeing. Because anytime there's a homeless encampment, we take care of it. Anytime there's something going on, we try to keep our streets as clean as we possibly can. There's gonna be something that goes on that's gonna be financially. And boom. This is what happens when you see. But this is the video Andrew was. I told Andrew about where Mayor Fry goes down to basically have a conversation and they throw him.

[Adam Carolla]

Out. That's great. Go home, Jacob. Go home. Well, he's wearing a mask at least. I love.

[Rudy Pavich]

This. These are the people that, that voted for him and that he's also kissing their ass. In the last video we just watched, they tell him to.

[Adam Carolla]

Leave. Well, good. Oh, shame, shame, shame. The mayor White silence is violence. I love that. I wish you would shut up.

[Rudy Pavich]

Bitch. Community, not cops. Yeah, okay. How did that work.

[Adam Carolla]

Out? Nothing works. None of their ideas, they're all fucking horrible ideas. None of them work. But. So there was this whole money laundering thing and it was Somalis. And then of course, if you brought it up, it was a hate crime. And this is their constituency. And so then the governor, Tim Wallace, doesn't want to look into it. I love the lobby of Feeding Our Future. It's got all the kids from all the nations of the world. They love kids like Michael Jackson. Love those kids, don't they? They love all the children of the world and they also love a bunch of fucking free money and they like to launder it and it'll go back to their native land while they'll support terrorists. That's.

[Rudy Pavich]

Awesome.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. All right, you got pirates, you got terrorists. That's an awesome. But we're not judging. You can't judge. It's all great. I love Trump when he's up there. He's like, shithole, we don't want those people. I'm like, thank you. But what is the Somali area like? What is different about it? What's good, what's bad? How's it.

[Rudy Pavich]

Changed? Yeah, there's one section of Minneapolis which is called the west bank. And Andrew or Dawson, you guys can find a photo of it. Look for. Basically just type in multi colored apartments. Minneapolis. And across the street from downtown where the U.S. bank Stadium is, across the Highway 35, you have. There's a couple of high rises. These were built, I believe there's a documentary that came out about it. It was built like in the 60s or 70s as luxury apartments. It was a beautiful place that they tried to get people into kind of the hippie region of west bank tried to get this place torn down. They didn't want people to build it. It was built. Essentially what happened is the Somali community moves into Minneapolis and they sort of take over the west bank and what used to. Yeah, that's them right there. We call those the crack stacks now. It.

[Adam Carolla]

Is. I.

[Rudy Pavich]

Would. I've driven past it a couple of times. There was a couple of great music venues and some great bars in that area, all of which have now moved out.

A lot of the restaurants which. Some of the food there. Fantastic. But there isn't a lick of English anywhere around.

[Adam Carolla]

Those. Well, I do want to say this to all the peoples of the world. You lived in a shithole that you had to.

[Rudy Pavich]

Leave.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. I don't know why you want to recreate that shithole here, but if you're not gonna assimilate, then you will recreate your shithole.

[Rudy Pavich]

Here.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. And by the way, you don't flourish. No, the Mexicans in Los Angeles don't flourish by selling street fucking food. You're supposed to assimilate, learn English and become a doctor and a.

[Billy Gardell]

Lawyer.

[Adam Carolla]

That's. That's the dream. That's how it works. But the politicians have decided that they're going to kiss your ass. And so when I was out here years ago, they're like, english only in schools. And then of course the politicians are like, they need to be bilingual. No, they need to speak English and they need to learn English and that's our language. And you're hurting them by trying to bend to their.

[Rudy Pavich]

Will. Absolutely.

[Adam Carolla]

Absolutely. And now you got this. And then what they get to do is Tim Walls and these guys get just to call everything a hate crime. If you wanna then look into the billion dollars that got laundered and wasted by these fucking people with your stupid COVID.

[Rudy Pavich]

Policies. Yeah, Andrew and I pulled this earlier. This is Tim Walls essentially saying, if there's fraud in this state, you need to go to jail. Okay, well, I don't know, maybe we turn this back on you.

[Adam Carolla]

Bud. He's also.

I was talking to Andrew about it today, but I think Tim Walls is dumb, right? Like there's some people he's fucking kooky and he's whatever, but he's also kind of dumb. Yeah, there's something dumb about.

[Rudy Pavich]

Him. This goes back to the comment you made about guys like Brad Pitt who never really get out onto the circuit and do. We never had this because Tim Walls wasn't in the spotlight. And I was always a Tim Walls guy for.

[Adam Carolla]

Years. No, this is a Robert De Niro.

[Rudy Pavich]

Thing. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

I just watched the whole five part Scorsese thing. If you just watch that, you go, robert De Niro's the fucking smartest man on the planet until he shows up on the View. And now we know he's a dope, right? He should have never talked. No, the two guys.

Who should have never opened their mouths were Bruce Springsteen and Robert De Niro. We had them as geniuses. They could have sailed off into retirement and that's all we ever would have thought. Now I think of them as dope. But anyway, here's Tim Walsh. Sorry again. My message is simple on this. You commit fraud in Minnesota, you're going to prison. I don't care what color you are, what religion you are. Anybody who wants to help us in that, we welcome that. But sitting on the sidelines and throwing out accusations, and let's be very clear, demonizing an entire population and lying to people about the safety and security of this state.

Beneath that, and I will just add, as a teacher and as a parent, the absolutely pathetic usage of a slur. Not to me. I don't care what he calls me. He calls me many things. But don't think that doesn't hurt our.

[Billy Gardell]

Children. Don't think it doesn't hurt people who are.

[Adam Carolla]

Hurt. Him retarded. And this is not normal. It's not both sidesism. We're solving problems. We're making life more affordable. So we're talking about bringing people in and we're getting this. Yeah. Anyway, he probably knew about it. Cuz people tried to blow the whistle, but it was from his constituency. And they're powerful and they need them. So they're not gonna bust them because they don't want them to turn on them. And listen, you know this whole thing where they go, not every single Somali. Not every. No, not every single Somali in Somalia is anything. It's a. All it takes with any society is a small percentage of people. Like if you just go, look, I come in Los Angeles, way less than 10% of the citizens are pirates. It's like seven and a half percent, maybe 8.2 are actual pirates. That's way too much.

And if. And if less than 5% of them are murderers or rapists, it's way too much. It has to be.000. And so they get to do this thing where they go, most these people are hardworking. Good. Yeah, yeah, everybody. But then an alarmingly high percentage, which isn't really an alarmingly high percentage. Like you wish that was your body fat percentage. It doesn't take 50%. It takes a like 7% and you're fucked. And that's what they don't. Then they go, but these people are.

[Billy Gardell]

Hardworking. Yeah, they.

[Adam Carolla]

Are. And then there's this group that isn't. And they do what they.

[Rudy Pavich]

Do. Yeah. If you bake a cake with high end ingredients and put 2 ounces of human shit in it, the whole cake's gonna taste like.

[Adam Carolla]

Shit. Yeah. Or fentanyl, but yeah. All right, what's our news.

[Rudy Pavich]

Story? Well, since we're already talking about it, let's start with this. The Trump administration halted immigration applications from 19 countries deemed to be a high risk for producing terrorists and other national.

[Adam Carolla]

Threats. Well, just the fact, if you really just think about it in 2000 and almost 26, where it's just kind of accepted, like, yeah, we have terrorist groups that sort of roam around. Could you imagine? We're like, yeah, we got groups of terrorists, but they're mostly in Wyoming and North Carolina. Like just the idea that it's modern times and where there's places where you go, well, there's a lot of terrorist groups there. Yeah, good, you're on the fucking list. Sorry. And then you go, well, that's not fair to the hardware. Yeah, it's not fair. But don't have terrorists in 2026. Yeah, it's kind of. It's.

[Rudy Pavich]

Avoidable.

[Adam Carolla]

Sure. You don't have to have.

[Rudy Pavich]

Terrorists. Yeah, there's a reason why Canada is not on this list of the 19.

[Adam Carolla]

Places. Almost no pirates and very little Terrorists.

[Rudy Pavich]

Yeah. Yeah. So. But, yeah. Afghanistan, Libya, Somalia, Venezuela, Yemen. All of the usual suspects that you would think would be on this list are exactly on this.

[Adam Carolla]

List. So.

[Rudy Pavich]

Yeah. Yeah. TSA will charge a $45 fee for all passengers without real IDs. The U.S. transportation Security Administration said on Monday will begin charging travelers $45 on February 1st if their IDs do not meet stricter federal standards aimed at encouraging travelers to get the enhanced identity.

[Adam Carolla]

Documents.

[Rudy Pavich]

This. This. Honestly, I just got a new license four months ago. I don't understand the enhanced security IDs. I don't know what is different about. Other than it's an extra $31 at the DMV. Nothing has changed. I don't know why you need this. It just feels like a money.

[Adam Carolla]

Grab. I don't know. But I travel with my passport now because I can't la. I hope everyone's sitting down. The DMV is so fucked up. Yeah, the DMV is really just.

A. I don't want to call it a metaphor, but it's kind of like.

When you go in and you're gonna get your blood work or the doctor's gonna give you a physical or something. He doesn't need all your blood, just needs a little bit. Yeah, just a little bit. Just a little bit of your blood. And then he'll go, oh, man, you got low levels of iron, or you're pre this, or you need that, or you're low in vitamin D or like, whatever. Just a sample of what's coursing through your entire body. In order to know everything about what's going on inside your body. Body. The DMV will tell you how that town is working and the fact that the LA DMV is always a shit show. It's like, I've tried to make appointments. It's like they don't have anything for four months. It's always crowded. You can't walk in. It's not usual. It's not a coincidence that that DMV's in LA. Cause LA is a shit show. LA doesn't work. And that is just a manifestation of how it doesn't work. You could really. I'm gonna add, all right, so I can move to a town that has a Topgolf, a P, F, Changs, and a Spearmint Rhino. Those are.

[Rudy Pavich]

My. The.

[Adam Carolla]

Three. The tribal three. Now, people go, you love strippers and Chinese food that much? I go, no, no. It shows a certain level of evolvement. It means we're prosperous. And I do like Strip clubs and Chinese food. By the way.

I think my new one, I will add, was I want to check out the.

[Rudy Pavich]

Dmv.

[Adam Carolla]

Sure. If you go into the LA dmv, it's just a bunch of angry fucking foreign women standing behind the counter just glaring at everybody, pissed off. And there's a huge long line and the place is a shit show. I want to check out your dmv. I want to know about your topgolf. I want to know about your Spearmint Rhino. I want to check out your P. F Changs. And if I go into that Starbucks and I can just walk into the bathroom without punching a code into the door, I'm moving.

[Rudy Pavich]

Tonight. Tonight to not have to prepay for gas. Oh, what is this.

[Adam Carolla]

Mayberry? Yeah, it's another one.

[Rudy Pavich]

Yeah. Yeah, man. Yeah. The Egan dmv. Egan, Minnesota. That is the DMV that I go to when I'm back in Minnesota. After I sold my house and my license was about to expire, I went down there and I had. You have to have two forms of identification to change your address on your id. You got to have your. Your insurance. And then there's one other thing you need. I don't remember what it is. I walked in with one of them, but my insurance, it was on my phone and I didn't have a physical copy of it. And I go, I got to get a new id. It expires in, you know, four days, but I got to change the address. And she said, well, you can't because you have to have an actual physical copy of the insurance, not on your phone. And I go, oh, well, can I just keep the old address on there? And she said, yeah, why.

[Adam Carolla]

Not?

[Rudy Pavich]

Yeah. And just handed me my id and it's like literally gave me the paperwork and four days later, I had a brand new license in the.

[Adam Carolla]

Mail. Not in.

[Billy Gardell]

Glendale.

[Rudy Pavich]

Not. Not in Glendale. No, man, they ain't putting up with that.

[Adam Carolla]

No.

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[Adam Carolla]

Corollashopify.

Stream blockbuster hits like 21 Jump Street Ted, the Expendables and so much more on Pluto TV stream now may.

[Rudy Pavich]

Never.

The FDA Commission says that the.

[Adam Carolla]

M. Well, to be fair, we forced a bunch of women. Like we told women, you get to.

[Rudy Pavich]

Work.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. And they're like, oh, I'm gonna be a high powered lawyer in the corner office or big time architect. No, bitch, you're going to the dmv. See, we told women you get to work, but what we didn't tell them is most jobs are shit and you're either gonna be at the airport or at the dmv. And now they're all standing there and they're fucking pissed because they work at the dmv and it sucks. And I think women, they're not as good at masking their feelings when they're unhappy about their.

[Rudy Pavich]

Workplace. That's one more thing the Simpsons can say that they were the first at is putting bitchy women in the DMV with Patty and Selma. Yeah, called that one a long time.

[Adam Carolla]

Ago.

[Rudy Pavich]

Yes. Yep. FDA commission says that MRNA flu shot will not be approved because it failed in seniors. He says, quote, we're not just going to rubber stamp new products that don't work that fail in a clinical trial. It makes a mockery of science if we're going to just rubber stamp things with no data. And that was the MO in the Biden administration with the eternal Covid booster approvals for young healthy.

[Adam Carolla]

Kids.

[Rudy Pavich]

Good.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Agreed that Kennedy doing.

[Rudy Pavich]

That. This was what his name, Marty.

[Adam Carolla]

McCary. McCary, yeah. All the guys, basically all the guys that were right about COVID who got blackballed are now in charge. Yeah. Yeah. Which is.

[Rudy Pavich]

Awesome. Yeah, Great. Right? And you know, the more and more especially like the story that you and Dawson had the other day about, about the FDA and about the kids and the more research that comes out, I don't know how much I've talked about it on this show, but it irks me that there isn't enough done and that there isn't enough research and that nobody cares about it. But I am for certain that my friend Ricky is dead because of the COVID vaccine. He was a healthy vegan who lived off the land in Wisconsin and his wife said, hey, we're getting the COVID shot. The wife, what we're getting boosted. And next thing you Know, my, one of my best friends is now dead with absolutely no explanation. And I always said, I'll, I'll leave it to chance. Maybe there was something going on with the family, maybe there was a heart condition. I'll leave it to chance until we get the autopsy back. And if that autopsy comes back inconclusive, then damn it, I'm gonna go ahead and I'm gonna blame it on that shot and son of a bitch if that, you know, the autopsy doesn't come back and it says inconclusive. So to me, I'm thinking that it's gotta be something in.

[Adam Carolla]

That. Well, healthy people shouldn't have never got it, especially young people. But it's kind of interesting, which is.

Women used to be barefoot and in the kitchen and pregnant and didn't have the right to vote and second class citizens and whatever. And then at some point they caught up and now they're the majority of college students and professionals and things like that. At some point they got into some sort of balance. There was an interruption in the balance where they somehow became in charge of all decisions at the house. House, which guys should have never signed off on, which.

I think all guys are kind of guilty of that. But they then became basically the custodian of the house. And so when stuff would come along, such as a Covid vaccination, they're like, I'm taking the kids, getting them vaccinated. And you'd go, I don't wanna take the kids to get vaccinated. Well, you don't get a vote and then just go do it, you know what I mean? And there's nothing you could do about it. And that became sort of the new world order. And the folks and the powers that be figured out that if they're gonna be in charge, then they're the people we need to talk to and we need to convince. And so started noticing, like Rochelle Walensky of the CDC was up there, like as a mother. As a mother. And like I could see all the dumb chicks sitting home going, look, I'm a mother too. And she's a mother. Oh, she's a mother first and then she's a physician second. Or she said. And then they go, they get, they stopped with the kind of like C. Everett Koop, that guy dressed like an admiral from the French Navy from 1871. Like that guy was up there, scholarly guy wearing an admiral outfit. That was the surgeon general. And then we started replacing him. Like Sierra Coop looked like a dude. Yeah, he looked like a dude who was On a. The Kansas record album from, like, this. From, like, the 70s or something. Like, whoever that guy was. Who was that guy.

[Ted Dawson]

Dawson? I know who you're talking.

[Adam Carolla]

About. All right? All right. But you know what he was. He was the man, right? So then what'd they replace him with? A spindly Indian waif model. And that guy was like, oh, hey, ladies, I'm one of you. Watch how I cross my legs. And Rochelle Walensky. And then the dwarf Fauci. And all of a sudden they go, hey, listen, it'd be awesome. You really need to give your kid this experimental injection that he doesn't need. But for me, okay, moms. And then moms listened to us. And then the moms went, okay, because it wasn't Trump saying it and it wasn't Sierra Coop, but the. He looks like John Milius. What's John Milius look like? The director. Thank you, Andrew. No one else with John Milius, but that was a dude, and he had epaulettes and he had war ribbons and stuff. And that was authority. And then we replaced him with an Indian waif model and all these. And then a he, she, tranny, whatever, you know, who was Admiral Levine. And then a chick in Rochelle Walensky. And then they just got there and they started going, hey, moms, listen to us. And they went, okay, I'll go get my kid vaccinated when I don't really need to. Because if it was C. Everett Koop saying, hey, bitches do this, they'd go, fuck that. Yeah, I'm not doing that for sure. What the man has to say. And by the way, Madison Avenue's figured this out, too. And so what they do is they get hold of the moms and they just sell them shit. It's basically fake science. All the Purell, all the antibacterial soaps, all the wiping of everything down. So the veggie wash and all that. They got a credit card. They're at home, the TV's on, the guy's on the road, he's working, he's out of the house. And they figured it out. So it was really. The whole Covid thing was about weaponizing the women to enforce. Every argument I had was with a woman going, you need to get vaccinated. I was like, I don't. Why do I need to get. They need to get vaccinated. You can't come back. My son didn't say shit. All through Copy. My daughter, all she did is explain to me how I had to put gloves on when I Went to the supermarket, you know, so they became the enforcers and we stupidly listened because we couldn't unring the bell because we should have started 20 years ago going, hey, shut up. You don't get to make all the fucking decisions around this place. And by the way, I make the money, so I get a fucking.

[Rudy Pavich]

Vote. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

The. Your plan is I make all the money and you get all the votes. I don't like that.

[Rudy Pavich]

Plan. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's too bad this wasn't happening like 20 years ago because as you said, if somebody told my mom, do this for your children, she'd be like, nah, yeah, I'm good. There's no way I'm listening to.

[Adam Carolla]

That. Corolla wouldn't have done it. Now, now, now, what is the guy's name from.

[Ted Dawson]

Kansas? Robbie Steinhardt plays the fiddle. I'm trying to find a good.

[Adam Carolla]

Picture. You're looking for the record cover though. I mean, I'm. No, I'm talking the band Kansas had an illustrated record.

[Ted Dawson]

Cover. Oh yeah, we've got.

[Adam Carolla]

That. You got that.

[Ted Dawson]

That's. I thought you were actually talking someone from.

[Adam Carolla]

Kansas. No, it was the actual band record cover. The guy looked like Sieveret Coop. But anyway, it's our fault for listening. Yeah, and then they got all the votes and they got all the control and then they just did whatever they. They did. I didn't get a vote whether my kids got vaccinated or not.

What is. What are we even watch. What are we even looking.

[Rudy Pavich]

At?

Nothing screams dust in the wind. Like a guy with a shotgun in one hand, a bible in the.

[Adam Carolla]

Other. Beard. What is it called? What is now Andrew? That's Amelius. That's Andrew geeking out. No, I like the Kansas record cover.

[Rudy Pavich]

Better. Yeah, yeah, that's great.

[Adam Carolla]

Man. You gotta find.

If you can find Dawson Rochelle Walensky. Talking about summer camp. It never gets old for me. But that was the mom. The mom. So they took a bunch of people and they put em forth and they were all wafy and wimpy and pussy and female and whatever. And then they tricked all the moms into listening to them because they didn't have a reaction to them. They couldn't have a bunch of big dudes tell you to get your shit together cuz they wouldn't have reacted to it. And then we got a bunch of people needlessly.

[Rudy Pavich]

Vaccinated. When you're talking about how we went from Coop to spindly wavy Indian model. The way dudes are presenting themselves nowadays, I'm really taken back by it, especially for how much traveling I do and where I see it. There was a guy the other day, pair of crocs, pajama pants, he's like 47 years old, standing in line at the airport. We're waiting to get onto the flight. He's standing in front of me and got a blankie with him so he can take a nap on his 90 minute flight. He's got a man bun, he's got a book in his hand, which I'm all about.

[Billy Gardell]

Reading.

[Rudy Pavich]

Sure. But he was swinging like a chop in line, just swinging his arms, swinging his arms. And he came across and he swung a little too far. Hit me right in the dick. Really just popped back of his hand, just hit me right in the.

[Ted Dawson]

Dark. They should have knocked him out like Joe.

[Adam Carolla]

Pistone. I was like.

[Rudy Pavich]

Whoa. He never like really apologized. He just kind of went, oh. And then he moved over a little bit and just kept swinging like. You know how an 8 year old just swings their arms? I'm like, what is happening to people in America? Well, who are these.

[Adam Carolla]

Dudes? They're dudes. Dudes ceased being dudes. But dudes also figured out if they don't pose a threat, then they can get some pussy.

[Rudy Pavich]

Too. Oh.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. In fact, there's a lot of.

[Ted Dawson]

That. The book he was reading was called how to Look Like a Pussy at the.

[Rudy Pavich]

Airport.

Well, it obviously did.

[Adam Carolla]

Him.

[Rudy Pavich]

Well. Speaking of, since we're going down this route, the male makeover. Did you know that at least half of all men at some point in their lives will end up maybe more so in America. They will end up with a set of moobs. They'll end up with male breasts. What do they call it?

[Adam Carolla]

Gynomastia.

[Rudy Pavich]

Yeah. It is on the rise. It is the number one surgery of middle aged men in America right now. And it's starting more and more at a younger age. It used to start on by about the age of 32 and now they're seeing it start in men at about the age of 18 to 19 years.

[Adam Carolla]

Old. Yeah. Because they're growing up on all this.

[Rudy Pavich]

Shit.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. And I've talked to guys, had a friend who had a brother's son was going through this like he just ate canes. That's all he ate. Just ate. That's all he ate canes, you know, and then by the time he was 14, he had tits. Like it's. I mean, part of it is weight, part of it is circulating estrogen, part of it is plastics. You know, in the Environment, like, it's all killing testosterone, killing sperm counts. Like, it's basically. I wrote a book called 50 Years Wall Be Chicks. That book's like 15 years old now. We're.

[Rudy Pavich]

Heading.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. We're on the.

[Rudy Pavich]

Move. Well, even look at pro wrestlers back in, like, the 80s. Like, you saw Axe and Smash of Demolition, and now you look at pictures of them and you go, dude, those guys had tits. They had actual tits. Like, out in the ring, those were.

[Adam Carolla]

Boobs. You know, I think it's weight. And again, it's weight mixed with a whole bunch of soybean oil and low testosterone and just all the environmental shit that we shouldn't be.

[Rudy Pavich]

Doing. Yeah, there's no pushback anymore. Nobody is in for the last 40 years. Nobody has left 72 degrees everywhere you go. I mean, we start our. Especially in Minnesota. We start our cars from the house. We walk through a breezeway, through the garage. We get in, we drive, we go to a cover, you know, like a parking structure. We walk to our office. It never changes. There's nothing that's pushing back on you in the elements.

[Adam Carolla]

Anymore. Needs some adversity. All right. Can't find Rochelle Walensky. Oh, you do find Rochelle Walensky. I never know if stuff gets forgotten about or not. But if you got her, do it. This is her as a mom, you know, she's very concerned. As a mom. This a woman who's head of the.

[Rudy Pavich]

Cdc. I'm still looking for.

[Billy Gardell]

It. It's pretty.

[Rudy Pavich]

Scary. Scrubbed it usually used to pop up.

[Adam Carolla]

But. Oh. Oh, I'm sorry. I figured we had it somewhere in our computer, but that would be. Not labeled or something. But I do feel like I put this in our computer, played it a thousand times, but maybe it's labeled something differently. But what are you saying? Maybe taken from the scrub from the Internet. I love that people scrubbed all their bullshit from lying from COVID That's kind of.

[Rudy Pavich]

Nice. Man, I wish I could do that to most of my career. Just go back and get all those terrible jokes I posted seven years.

[Adam Carolla]

Ago. Oh, your jokes are great. Get the hell out of here.

Well, we're gonna have to find it and put it on our computer so we have it. Cause this is a perennial all star for me because I can't get enough of her lying about. And by the way, all they do is lie. And they're horrible at their job. And then at some point, they end up at Harvard. And then they have a whole. They end up some board on Harvard. They just fucking all end up at Harvard. Which is another good reason not to send your fucking kids to Harvard. Now, look, Rochelle Walensky may be qualified, but turns out she's a liar. And she was basically told to lie and not to ask for. I was done with her, by the way. You should be done with everybody when she comes out. And she said we should reopen schools. And then someone got hold of her from the Biden administration, told her to walk it back, and then she took it.

[Rudy Pavich]

Back.

[Adam Carolla]

Sure. So if I come to your house and give you my opinion on how to build your house correctly, and if I say to you, your door's dragging, rooted, don't undercut the door. Don't take the door off and plane the bottom of the door. You need to fix the upper hinges, Suck the hinges in. That'll pull the door back up. Do not cut that door. And then I leave, and then somebody talks to me from the door division, and then I come back and I go, oh, hey, Rudy, about the door. I think you should undercut it. I was wrong. Just undercut it. I wasn't speaking as a carpenter. I was speaking. Yeah, I was off the clock. But anyway, now in my official capacity, you can go ahead and think I'm lying or I've been.

[Rudy Pavich]

Corrupted. Yeah, it's usually how it.

[Billy Gardell]

Works. All.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. Doesn't exist. And not in our computers anywhere, even though it's been in our computers. Dawson, has this been in our computers or we just go the Internet every.

[Ted Dawson]

Time? You know, I'm not sure. I always just kind of receive the audio through the mixer, But I was under the impression, yeah, it does exist somewhere. We just have. It hasn't been sorted through. It's not.

[Adam Carolla]

Labeled. Yeah, okay, we gotta do that labeling thing, which I've been talking about for 11 years. We never get to it. All right. Rochelle Walensky talking about her kid going to summer camp has been scrubbed from the Internet. I will accept.

[Billy Gardell]

That. All.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. All right. Okay. Good for.

[Billy Gardell]

Her.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Cause she would just look like a lying piece of shit on the Internet for the rest of eternity. But now she's off at Harvard spending money and lying to a new generation of fucking.

[Rudy Pavich]

Kids. All of the stuff that you want to find, they get rid of. But all the stuff that they're throwing down our throats right now, like, so much. I know you don't spend a lot of time on social media, but the amount of AI fake videos that are coming your way, and they pump them out first thing when you open up that app, boom, right away. Oh, yeah, Completely Fake. And people are passing this stuff off like it's real. Like, did you see that this inmate who was on trial jumped up onto the judge's bench and then threw the. He got up through the air conditioning vent and then out the door. And you're like. And then you watch it and you go, well, this is clearly fake. Why are you guys pumping this out? Like, this is a. This wouldn't have this made the.

[Adam Carolla]

News. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I will. It looks pretty good now.

[Rudy Pavich]

Though. It looks almost. Yeah. In fact, South Park. Speaking of, they just did an episode about this where. Where it's almost like people are making AI revenge porn videos and pitting each other and putting them out and people can't tell the difference anymore. It's.

[Adam Carolla]

Insane. Well, you can clear the screen, by the way, from stuff that's old. I will give a plug to you, Ruda. Give a plug to me. Tomorrow night, Santa Barbara, California. My daughter and her friends are coming out to that one, so maybe I'll clean it up a bit little at the Santa Barbara Comedy.

[Rudy Pavich]

Club. I gotta do the Barbie in the microwave joke in front of the.

[Adam Carolla]

Fridge. She'll probably like that. Saturday, I'm gonna be in Corona dos Lagos Amphitheater with Jay Moore, super funny guy. And then off to Florida. Couple shows in Miami on the 12th and the 13th at the Miami Improv. You can go to mcroll.com for all that. Rudy, where are your shows coming.

[Rudy Pavich]

Up? I will be at Delirious Comedy Club Silver 7 in Las Vegas starting tonight, all the way through Sunday. Mike Dawson will be joining me on all those.

[Billy Gardell]

Shows. Can't.

[Rudy Pavich]

Wait. Yeah, good times. Absolutely. And then the weekend after, Huntsville, Alabama, Levity live with Jonathan Kite. You can catch me there. I believe it's the 10th through the 12th. Maybe. I can't remember the dates.

[Adam Carolla]

But. So till next time, Adam Crawford, Rudy Pavich and Billy Gardell saying.

[Ted Dawson]

Mahalo.

You can leave us a voicemail at 888-634-1744 and get tickets to see Adam Corolla at.

[Adam Carolla]

AdamCola.com.

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