Jason Mayhem Miller (4:02)

Oh yeah.

Adam Carolla (4:03)

But we had some just giant women and I don't mean fat, I just mean big. Big, you know, some. We had one named Joan, she was, you know, 6 foot 205 but not even fat. Yeah, and those are the ones I always sort of felt the worst for because the fat ones, there are things we could do. The big ones were just big. And that was, that's got to be a tough hand to be dealt as like a 14 year old girl just to be big.

Jason Mayhem Miller (4:33)

But my sister got a mean double leg. I can tell you what man, my sister is a.

Adam Carolla (4:38)

Is your sister.

Jason Mayhem Miller (4:39)

My sister is a massage therapist who could work on pro athletes. Just a muscular, just forearms meaty, would just club you out of Corolla. You'd be, you'd be hard pressed to stop a double leg takedown. For my sister the.

Adam Carolla (4:52)

Well, it's hard to stop a double leg with a boner, but a big.

Dr. Mark Hyman (4:57)

Girl out of a big girl. I did a gig once at a resort when I was single with another comic. And there's these two girls, there were nurses. The one was huge, about 400 pounds. But my another comic wanted to go with the other girl and he goes, well you have to take one for the team. And I said look, I go what do you want to do? She goes well I'll wrestle you. So I'll wrestle you. And if I win, you do what I want. But if you win, you do what you want. And then goes. And you could take her. I didn't know that she was a fucking multi Thai champion wrestler.

Jason Mayhem Miller (5:36)

Yeah, yeah.

Dr. Mark Hyman (5:36)

She got me in a headlock, the plume, pulled me down behind the neck, pulled me down and then shatter away with me. But what was screwed up is I went back again the next night.

Jason Mayhem Miller (5:50)

Hell yeah, bud.

Dr. Mark Hyman (5:51)

But she was big like you said big. Yeah, not fat, not big like she was big. And I. And I thought, I can take her. Yeah, but what a weird like, you know.

Adam Carolla (6:03)

What do you mean? She got to do what she wanted to do.

Dr. Mark Hyman (6:06)

So she said to me, okay, this is what's gonna go down. I win. You do what I want you to do.

Adam Carolla (6:13)

Yeah. What does that mean?

Dr. Mark Hyman (6:14)

Which mean I had to like go down on her.

Adam Carolla (6:17)

Huh. And then maybe that's where she got that technique. Yeah, yeah. Forcing so many guys, heads high, head clip toward the crowd clip.

Dr. Mark Hyman (6:27)

And I said it was. She had me down there and I was doing all this stuff and I said. And then the comic goes, where are you going? I go, I'm going back again tonight.

Jason Mayhem Miller (6:34)

Hell yeah.

Dr. Mark Hyman (6:34)

Because we're disgusting humans. But she was strong. That was the strong. She was a nurs. And she was the strongest woman I ever met.

Jason Mayhem Miller (6:45)

I'll show you the counter off the air, bro, if you want to get your way next. What's the counter? You should have done this. For Greco Roman, you got to counteract Muay Thai with Greco Roman wrestling. That's the way to do it.

Adam Carolla (6:56)

I did get punched and beat up by a large woman of color once. Actually thinking back on it. Yeah. But I had not hit puberty yet. I don't think so I had an excuse. Right? Yeah.

Dr. Mark Hyman (7:11)

Because I don't know what it is. Like, have you ever, like, you ever met someone and you're like, they haven't done anything to you, but you just. You want to fight them?

Jason Mayhem Miller (7:18)

You know, there's some type of thing. Am I theory on it? There's some type of like ancestry, like the face. Their facial dimensions are like your ancestors far. There's the spirit of the demons that fought your demons inside them. Something you're playing it out on the world stage for everyone is. Yeah, it's something. There's something. A punchable face.

Dr. Mark Hyman (7:40)

I remember Jennifer Goodson in a public school and she was more developed, taller than us. And they and this kid Liam said, okay, you're gonna fight her after school. And I was always told, you know, don't fight with girls, right? Don't. And then it was like after the school, all the kids got together and she goes, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, bitch. And she's taking shots.

Adam Carolla (8:03)

Where was this?

Dr. Mark Hyman (8:04)

This is in Ottawa, Canada. Wow, 100 years ago. Yeah, it was at Dunlop Public school.

Adam Carolla (8:12)

So you fought a girl.

Dr. Mark Hyman (8:14)

Well, I didn't want to fight her. So Adam, I kept leaving and they kept calling your. Your little chicken. You're a chicken. So I went and she come on, come on, come On. I popped her once, and she went down. But, I mean, but we were like, what were we, 11 or 12 years old? And I didn't want to fight, but she kept punching me. And I said, stop it. And then I hit her. And there's no winning.

Jason Mayhem Miller (8:34)

There's no waiting. I got grounded on the school bus.

Dr. Mark Hyman (8:36)

I'm not proud of it. I'm just saying now that these kids don't. I don't think that happens anymore.

Adam Carolla (8:42)

No, they don't.

Dr. Mark Hyman (8:43)

They don't.

Adam Carolla (8:43)

Everything's in. They have microaggressions. Yeah. Like, we didn't know. There was no such thing as a micro. Every day in my life was a microaggression. But that was with my friends, you know? Right. I got punched by my girlfriend once, many years ago when we were. The plan was I was going to go play softball with my guys. And then after the softball game, like on a Sunday, I was going to come back to our apartment, and then we were going to go out for, like, dinner and a movie, Right? But it was one of those things where we, like, won our softball game. And then all the guys were going to the bar, and they did one of those. Just one beer. Come on, you got time. And one beer turned into 19 beers. And I was there for a long period of time. And then I came home drunk at way too late to now go see dinner in a movie. And I just flopped out on the bed on my back in my softball uniform and just shut the light. And she's like, I'm just passing out. And she came into the bedroom and stood at the foot of the bed, and she goes, get up. And I go, okay. And I stood up and she punched me in the face. And as I was going down, I thought, good. I remember thinking, good. Because I was drunk. I didn't care. I boxed. I didn't care. I could punch in the face. But I knew as I was heading back down toward the bed. We're now even because she punched me versus a day and a half worth of guilt and service. And what about the movie and stuff? Then once she punched me, I knew she kind of had to apologize the next. The next morning. So I was happy about that.

Dr. Mark Hyman (10:28)

He got it over with quickly. I.

Adam Carolla (10:30)

You would take one punch from an ex stripper? 100%, rather than days of emotional punishment, right?

Jason Mayhem Miller (10:40)

Yep. Definitely. Without a doubt.

Dr. Mark Hyman (10:42)

Have you ever woken up to a woman like this? She's like, oh, no. Oh, yeah.

Jason Mayhem Miller (10:46)

With a hammer.

Adam Carolla (10:47)

Yes.

Dr. Mark Hyman (10:50)

What happened here?

Jason Mayhem Miller (10:51)

Well, I knew what happened.

Adam Carolla (10:54)

So you had a. Well, Can I say this? Let's talk about this. And then Angelo had a story he was saving for on the air. But I witnessed this on the ride home yesterday. And I'm always kind of curious with people in their expectation levels. Like, what are they looking for out of society, fellow motorists? You know, it's a kind of a thing I say all the time. Like, sometimes there's a cube truck parked right on the curb, right where the driveway is, and you're like, inching out and you're trying to see around it and you're like, inching out, inching out. And then you see a car coming and you stop and the person drives past you and gives you the what the fuck? You know? And it's like, what is your expectation level? Like on the road? First off, I stop, but secondly, I'm trying to get out of the driveway. I can't see, so I'm going inching forward. And then I see you, and then I stop. Is that surprising? Are you angered? You know, what is. How high is your bar for what people should do? Shall I travel with a second passenger who gets out of the car and stands in the street and looks for people like you? So I'm driving home. I'm on the 101. It's traffic. It's 4:30. It's not moving anywhere. I've got about 11, 12 miles an hour. I have hyper vigilance. So the motorcycles that do the lane splitting, I will see those guys coming up more often than not when they're 50ft away, because I have hypervigilance. But I realize most people when they're sort of stuck in traffic aren't really in their mirrors. They're not changing lanes, they're not doing anything. They're just creeping along 10 miles an hour. There's no reason to look in your rear view. You're not doing it. You're off ramps in another four days and you're going eight miles an hour. So just looking forward, listening to the radio and creeping forward. But I see the guys coming up because of the hypervigilance. And I'll always make a little berth for them, like sort of scoot over. But the guy in front of me didn't see the person coming. Was in their lane, but a little off to the right. They weren't in the center of their lane. I'd say when you're in the center, you got about two foot on each side of openness. This person was toward the right, but not over the line and not on the Line, but maybe about a foot from the line on the right. I gave the guy some room. The first thing I notice is no, thank you. They used to do the two finger down back in the day. It meant it was biker for thanks for seeing me. There's no more thanks anymore. There's just punishment. If you don't used to be pretty consistently. You got the thank you. No more thank you. So this guy, excuse me, I move out of the way then has to kind of thread the needle through the other guy. And as he gets the other guy. Now here's an interesting thing. Motorcycles have horns. I used to ride a motorcycle. They're weak, but they have them. There's medium tinny, tinny. They're a little tinny, but there's a button, I think on the left side that has a horn. They never used a horn. I think it's a puss move for a biker. What they do do is they throw revs and throw in revs. Works if you got a 4 to 1 Kirker pipe or some modification. But if it's a stock pipe with the baffles and stuff, it's probably better to use the horn. Never heard the horn because the horn is more courteous than the revs. The revs are angry. So this guy gets past me, he's trying to thread the needle with the other guy. The other guy's not over the line. He's not doing anything. He's just there in his lane. Guy throws revs, goes past him, then turns in front of him and does a hand thing like, hey, fucking wake up. Like, learn how to drive. And it's like, I don't know how much of this onus is on the guy who's stuck in traffic going straight and in his lane. Isn't that kind of on the gut? The guy you're passing is doing nine miles an hour. You're doing 30 miles an hour. It's kind of on you. Like, I rode a bike for years in this town when I was younger, I split the shit out of lanes. It was never on the driver. It was on me. Now if the guy pushed a mop handle out of his window, I was going past him or something. We turned into some sort of gladiator or something. Yeah, right. But no, in general, people are just driving and it's kind of up to you.

Jason Mayhem Miller (15:37)

Yeah.

Adam Carolla (15:38)

To thread the needle. Why does this guy think he has to coach this guy up and how to drive when the guy was in his lane, never left his lane and was just plodding Ahead at eight miles an hour.

Dr. Mark Hyman (15:49)

Is that a cyclist thing? More cyclist. Have you ever been in a bike lane?

Adam Carolla (15:52)

Bike guys are worse than motorcycling because they're going.

Dr. Mark Hyman (15:56)

I was in Amsterdam about a month ago, and their bicycles are their cars, basically. And I didn't know. I came out and they were just. The guy's going, get the fuck off the road. You know, and they're going 100 miles.

Jason Mayhem Miller (16:11)

An hour because of a dedicated lane.

Dr. Mark Hyman (16:14)

But I think what. Adam. I get what he's saying. Like, if you're stopped in your car, you're in the 101. These guys, it's their job to keep an eye on what they're doing, but they pour it out and then they're. I don't understand. Like, I mean, to me, whatever. Something like that happens, just wave.

Adam Carolla (16:29)

Oh, you don't have to do anything. You're threading through traffic. It's not on the guy in the car. The guy in the car is in his lane, and he's plodding forward. He's not planning on you coming up. And by the way, you're coming up fast. That's. That's. What is. This guy had to slide in front of him and give him some kind of tutorial on how to be a human being with his left hand. And I'm like, listen, douche, he didn't do anything. And why are you coaching him up? You're chiding this guy. He did nothing to me.

Jason Mayhem Miller (16:59)

It's the yin and yang. If you have a motorcycle, you get to split the lanes. You get to be a ninja through the.

Adam Carolla (17:05)

Yes.

Jason Mayhem Miller (17:05)

And sometimes you have to deal with ninja stuff.

Adam Carolla (17:08)

Yes.

Jason Mayhem Miller (17:09)

Yeah, yeah. There's like a dragon out there trying to crush you. Now you got a zig. And Zach, I don't know. I don't know. I have hyper. I don't give a shit. Ism. I'm like, whatever. Like, if I don't die, I'm like, whoa, I made it.

Adam Carolla (17:21)

No, I'm. I'm with you, too. I'm like Trump getting shot in the air. I'm still here. Moving on.

Jason Mayhem Miller (17:30)

Exactly.

Adam Carolla (17:31)

Yes.

Dr. Mark Hyman (17:31)

Yeah. But you know what it is? So, guys, I think the guys on the motorbikes. And you're right, they have that. They have that privilege. They can get through traffic faster. That's why you have it. But at the same time, be aware, like, they're not.

Jason Mayhem Miller (17:43)

I.

Dr. Mark Hyman (17:44)

And I think people are when they're go. When they're driving, people aren't. Like you said, they're. They're not Aware of what's going on around them. And my biggest pet peeve there is that you let some. This is an LA thing. You let people in, they should wave. Right?

Adam Carolla (18:01)

I agree.

Dr. Mark Hyman (18:02)

How about a little hey, how's it going?

Jason Mayhem Miller (18:04)

Yeah, I don't think they should, but it does make me feel warm inside.

Dr. Mark Hyman (18:09)

The worst parking lot, Laurel Canyon in Ventura. Oh, yeah, that fucking plaza. I know you let them in at Trader Joe's. I'll let you answer. He pulls in, doesn't do nothing. I get out of my car, go, hey, a little wave.

Adam Carolla (18:20)

Can I. Can I also say this one, too? I was driving. I had to go through the canyon to get back. Malibu Canyon, Las Vergenes, to get back to Malibu yesterday. For reasons I won't get into, but it doesn't matter. And I've been caught in that canyon in a long wagon train of cars because the lead car. There's something that people have about driving through a canyon that has turns in it that horrifies them. Like, it's like a Mexican with the chupacabra. Like, they're frightened. They're scared shitless of it. And it's like, there was a guy. I was going the other way, but I got to witness. No, nothing on the other lane. Nothing, nothing, nothing. Like going. What they do, close the road. And then one guy in a prius going, like, 17 miles an hour because they were scared shitless to drive through a cane because there's a cliff and everything. But the speed limit is 40.

Jason Mayhem Miller (19:21)

Yeah.

Adam Carolla (19:22)

And then a wagon train of, like, 34 cars just fall, and it's like, look, you're not comfortable in this environment. You have 31 cars behind you. Just fucking pull over on this. Just go ahead. Just let everyone buy. And then you can take your pussy ass and get it back onto the highway. But nope. And the person behind them has got to be fucking flashing the high beams and hitting the horn. Because when you're 19 cars back, you don't know what's going on. You're like, ah, it's just fucking traffic. No, it's one pussy who's scared to drive through a canyon. And for me, it is so exacerbated because I race cars. And I know, like, I literally sit in that canyon and I go, the speed limit's 35. I could do this at 80, and I'd be here. The passenger would be white knuckling it, but I could get through. I could average 80 through this fucking canyon. And a Ford Taurus and I could do this. And the fact that we're going below the posted speed limit. Fucking drives me nuts.

Dr. Mark Hyman (20:32)

It's the same when people are in the left lane. Have you ever noticed, like I was always told, and the left lanes is the passing lane, the fast lane?

Jason Mayhem Miller (20:41)

Yeah, yeah.

Dr. Mark Hyman (20:41)

So people will get in there and stay there.

Jason Mayhem Miller (20:44)

Yeah.

Dr. Mark Hyman (20:44)

And you're honking your horn, going, go over, and they're like, in their head. Fuck you. So what you do, sometimes you cut out to the right, third lane, cut in front, then they speed up.

Adam Carolla (20:53)

Yeah.

Jason Mayhem Miller (20:54)

Why?

Dr. Mark Hyman (20:54)

Why?

Adam Carolla (20:55)

I don't get the whole psychological chess game that's going on with people. It's like you're in the left lane and you're going 53 miles an hour, right. It's 65. That means 75 to me. Maybe I'm going somewhere different than you. Maybe I have other priorities. Whatever it is, this is your chip, your choice. I choose to go faster. So let me go around you. It's not an attack. I'm not trying to impugn your character. I'm just trying to go somewhere.

Dr. Mark Hyman (21:25)

Why is that, though, Adam? Like, why? It happens all the time.

Adam Carolla (21:29)

Like, it's pure narcissism. It's pure narcissism, which is to say the guy on the motorcycle, the guy, I saw you coming up, so I moved over. The person in front of me did not see you. He doesn't know you. He doesn't like you or dislike you. He doesn't know who you are, and he doesn't care. The guy who then feels like he has to coach up. The guy in front of me, that's full narcissism. Because it's him. You've done it to me. See, it's me. Anytime it's me. Understand, everybody, you are not you to the other person in the car. You're just somebody we didn't notice. It's not an attack on you. You know what I mean? Like, when somebody pulls out and the pedestrians crossing and you see the pedestrian guy go, whoa, whoa, whoa, that's. That's a narcissist. It's not you. We're looking the other way. We don't know who you are. It's pure. And that's, by the way, the era we're living in. You know, we just went through it with COVID and anyone telling someone to, you know, put your mask on, bro. You know, that? That's all. It's all narcissism. We're encouraging it. It's the self esteem movement, and we're all fucked. That's what I'm saying, well, yeah, even.

Dr. Mark Hyman (22:44)

If you're going to Vegas, when it gets the two lanes, you know, like, sometimes if you're like you said, they got. I'm going 80 miles an hour. They're doing 60. Yeah, just.

Jason Mayhem Miller (22:53)

Well, I'm not a narcissist. I'm just posting myself on Instagram.

Dr. Mark Hyman (22:57)

That's why I didn't even notice you back. I'll pull. I'll go to the side and let them pass me, so. I don't care.

Adam Carolla (23:03)

I don't care either.

Dr. Mark Hyman (23:03)

I don't care.

Adam Carolla (23:04)

I don't want the burden of them up my ass and holding them up. That's a burden on me.

Angela Siroukis (23:11)

Got something on your mind you need to talk about? Forget texting. Just call up a friend so you can hear a voice. It might be old school, but it helps. This healthy suggestion is brought to you by Regents Blue Cross Blue Shield of Oregon. Together we help.

Adam Carolla (23:28)

All right, Angela, you had something you said you wanted to talk about.

Dr. Mark Hyman (23:30)

So I'm on an American Airlines flight. I'm coming back from Dallas to Burbank, our favorite airport. Burbank.

Jason Mayhem Miller (23:37)

Yeah.

Dr. Mark Hyman (23:38)

So I was tired. I had a gig the night before. All I did was put my seat. After the plane took off, I put my seat back, and I hear from.

Jason Mayhem Miller (23:48)

The back, you're crushing me. Stop crushing me.

Dr. Mark Hyman (23:52)

I go, what the fuck? I get up, I go, what? Crushing you? Because I was in first. Whatever they call it. And then you're crushing me. There's a lot of room. I go. He goes, you're not allowed to put your seat back. Now what? I'm going to ask you guys, like, what's.

Dawson (24:06)

What.

Dr. Mark Hyman (24:07)

What is this? Now? I thought.

Jason Mayhem Miller (24:09)

I think once you get up to cruising out of.

Dr. Mark Hyman (24:12)

Aren't you allowed.

Adam Carolla (24:13)

When you get up to cruising altitude, you're allowed to take off. You're not supposed to.

Dr. Mark Hyman (24:19)

Right.

Adam Carolla (24:19)

So you may have been a little premature. No reclining.

Dr. Mark Hyman (24:23)

I did it after we got to.

Adam Carolla (24:24)

Oh, you got up and you leveled out.

Dr. Mark Hyman (24:26)

We leveled out.

Adam Carolla (24:27)

I thought you said, you're taking off.

Dr. Mark Hyman (24:28)

We were taking off. We leveled up. We leveled out. And I said, okay, I'm going to just put.

Adam Carolla (24:32)

Well, that's nuts.

Dr. Mark Hyman (24:33)

You're crushing me. And he made a big deal about it. He goes, it's people like you. I go, people like what? I go, dude, I just want to relax. Put your seat back. Why should I? So. And then it's funny how.

Adam Carolla (24:44)

How old is this gentleman?

Dr. Mark Hyman (24:45)

This guy's probably like, he's got to be about 50. Who are the people.

Adam Carolla (24:51)

Who make it to 50 and don't know the rules of the game. You know what I mean? Like, this is the person. Once in a while, you have the company softball game, and the chick hits it back to the pitcher and starts running toward third base. You're like. And then they always do this thing where they go, sorry, I'm not a professional baseball. It's like, I know, I get it. But you've seen, you've been on commercial flights. You understand there's a. They make an announcement when you're landing, get your seat back up to the upright position. Why would they make that? Why would they make a seat that reclines if they wouldn't?

Dr. Mark Hyman (25:24)

Well, that's what I'm asking you guys. Because I said, you should know better. Know better of what?

Adam Carolla (25:29)

Is there any part of this? And I'm not questioning your integrity, right? But when I have these conversations with women, they'll say things. I'll go, is there any part of this? And then they'll go, well, I called her son a little bitch before this exchange, but that still didn't have to do with it. And it's like, well, yeah, but that helps me. That helps me. You know? Was there any part of this where you took his overhead space?

Jason Mayhem Miller (26:01)

Did you put a shoulder when you were putting it up?

Adam Carolla (26:04)

Did you steal his. His Fiesta mix?

Dr. Mark Hyman (26:07)

No.

Jason Mayhem Miller (26:08)

Yeah.

Dr. Mark Hyman (26:08)

No, none of that.

Adam Carolla (26:09)

There's no precursor.

Dr. Mark Hyman (26:10)

Absolutely nothing. I was just, you know, we're on the plane, it's everything's fine. And then I thought, all right, we're at cruising altitude. Let me put the seat back, maybe get a couple hours sleep. You're crushing me. You should. He made a big deal about it to the point where he stood, he got up, and I thought, am I going to drop this guy in an airplane?

Adam Carolla (26:30)

Yeah, like, normally you only put your hands on women, but you'll make an exception, bro. That's what I say. I say, normally.

Dr. Mark Hyman (26:38)

Normally, if you were in grade six or sixth grade, And I said to him, and I said to the guy, look, sit down. I'm tired. Sit down. I said, I don't need this. He goes, well, what are you going to do? He was taunting me a bit. I go, sit down.

Adam Carolla (26:50)

All right. Are we to believe that on a flight that a guy in his 50s in a cabin where half the people recline their seat, more than half, right. Almost immediately upon leveling out and many upon takeoff, like Mike August, you don't wait for anything. It's like, he's back as soon as we start taxing. He's back, but okay. Upon level flight with the recline, this guy's beef was, this is way out of line.

Dr. Mark Hyman (27:22)

It's out of line.

Jason Mayhem Miller (27:23)

Wow.

Dr. Mark Hyman (27:24)

Out of line. I'm like, well, why would they recline, right? I mean, what isn't that?

Jason Mayhem Miller (27:30)

I've.

Dr. Mark Hyman (27:31)

We fly all the time.

Jason Mayhem Miller (27:32)

Was he a well dressed man?

Dr. Mark Hyman (27:33)

He was okay, all right. But you could see in his mad dogging me.

Jason Mayhem Miller (27:37)

We're talking Ross.

Dr. Mark Hyman (27:37)

Or like, I went to the bathroom, I came back from the bathroom, he's mad dogging me. I'm looking at him going, this guy wanted to go. Like there was something wrong with.

Jason Mayhem Miller (27:46)

Maybe he viewed you with a punchable face.

Adam Carolla (27:51)

Ancestry, you know what ancestry?

Dr. Mark Hyman (27:55)

Maybe I was the guy he wanted the most.

Jason Mayhem Miller (27:56)

Maybe. But you guys been feuding for centuries.

Adam Carolla (27:59)

I'll tell you what I've learned. When this isn't for first class, but for a coach, like once in a while on Spirit Air, there's no recline, right? But I've figured out that if you're a big dude, there's always recline. Big dudes just exhale and lean back and there's enough flex because those seats have done 2 billion miles and they're made thin for weight, you know, in space. And if you've got enough upper body, you just lean back and they will. You can get 3 inches of flex out of that. This you can take. You. If you get like a Southwest flight, a seat reclines about two inches, maybe two and a half inches on recline. A big dude can get three out of it with no recline just by fucking leaning back and sighing.

Jason Mayhem Miller (28:53)

Plant your feet.

Adam Carolla (28:54)

Yeah. Lean back and have a negative thought and you will get that. Recline. This guy wanted to go and did anyone come around? Did anyone witness this?

Dr. Mark Hyman (29:04)

They were right there. And the lady said. There was a lady next to me. And she goes, I think he's upset about something I said. Clearly, you know, And I'm like, I remember one. I remember once.

Adam Carolla (29:14)

Did she recline her seat in solidarity?

Dr. Mark Hyman (29:17)

She did. She did put the seat back.

Adam Carolla (29:21)

And this guy had a seat mate as well.

Dr. Mark Hyman (29:23)

I guess so. Oh, I wasn't sure about that. But he.

Adam Carolla (29:26)

Well, you could see their. Someone was there. But no, no, I don't mean traveling with a companion. I just mean there was someone sitting.

Dr. Mark Hyman (29:31)

There was somebody there.

Adam Carolla (29:32)

And they weren't beefing.

Dr. Mark Hyman (29:33)

They weren't beefing. He was.

Jason Mayhem Miller (29:36)

You're crushing me.

Dr. Mark Hyman (29:37)

I was crushing you.

Adam Carolla (29:39)

Now there is. All right, I'm. Look, I'm not here to be an advocate for this guy. No, but there is a situation where if he had his tray table down and like a brimming mug of hot post them on it.

Dr. Mark Hyman (29:56)

Okay.

Adam Carolla (29:56)

And you reclined it and it spilled on his lap. There is a reaction he could have.

Dr. Mark Hyman (30:01)

True.

Adam Carolla (30:02)

But also that's baked into the flight. Like you got to know that when your tray tables down and the guy in front of you hasn't reclined yet, do not put a bunch of hot liquids on there or stuff.

Dr. Mark Hyman (30:16)

But it usually conforms to it, right? Even if it's down.

Adam Carolla (30:19)

Yeah. I mean it can jostle it, but you're crushing me and what are you doing is a crushing me. It's a bizarre thing, thing.

Dr. Mark Hyman (30:26)

I thought we were going to go and, and nobody.

Adam Carolla (30:29)

So who intervened? Did anyone intervene?

Dr. Mark Hyman (30:31)

Well, the flight attendant came over and he said something and, and she said, well, once the flight levels off, you can recline the seats.

Jason Mayhem Miller (30:39)

Yeah, he's crushing me.

Dr. Mark Hyman (30:41)

Crushing him. Like he said it like my seat broke and I fell on him.

Jason Mayhem Miller (30:45)

Yeah.

Dr. Mark Hyman (30:45)

I'm like, I dude, I go, I'm not crushing it.

Jason Mayhem Miller (30:47)

I was imagining you like snuggled up in his lap.

Dr. Mark Hyman (30:51)

I go, I'm not crushing you, dude. Calm down. You calm, you calm down.

Adam Carolla (30:54)

I was just, you know, there's also another thing. I just was talking to Fitzdog about this beef on an airplane very early in the flight. Makes for an uncomfortable flight. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Like, I remember having beef with a stewardess before we took off and I was flying and I was like, oh, I just fucked myself. And we had a, we had. It was back when first class was first class and they had a serving cart right at the front and the wide body plane with the champagne on it. And she was like in the back tending to people the whole time and. But they had the champagne serving cart and I was in first class sitting in the very front of first. I'm sitting three feet in front of the serving cartoon. And I kept like looking back like, hey, can I get a champagne? And they're like, I'm working with somebody over, you know, putting up, putting something on the overhead or whatever. And I just kept sitting there and I was like looking around, there's no one around. At some point I just got up and I just went, well, I'll just pour my. And then the second, I know the second, she said, sir, this is not a self serve bar, you know. And I was like, well, you know, you were busy and I wanted champagne and so we were sitting here. So sir, I was like, fuck now, fuck now. She's pissed, by the way. I love it because women are allowed to be pissed for six hours or something. You did. That made sense because they weren't doing their fucking job. Luckily, I was flying with a friend of mine who's sober, and I was like, this bitch is fucking me over the whole flight. She's giving me the stink eye the whole flight. But my friend's sober, so it's like, she's like, any drinks orders? And she's looking at me. And then she would look at my friend and I'd be like. I'd be like, get a double vodka tonic with a lime. A double vodka tonic with a lime. She'd go, okay. She'd turn around and leave again because she was pissed at me. And then soon as his drink arrived, you just handed it to me. I said, this is the way this is going to work because you already started it earlier.

Dr. Mark Hyman (33:09)

That's why.

Adam Carolla (33:10)

I just. It's a cart. It's got an open bottle of champagne and a glass. It's three feet in front of my knees. They're nowhere to be. And I'm in first class. And we're on the ground. We're just sitting there. So I'm like, I'm gonna help myself.

Jason Mayhem Miller (33:27)

It's a matter of their limited power. And when they have the power to.

Adam Carolla (33:31)

Jack you up, there's also the shame. Listen, if you get shamed because you didn't do your job correctly, go find a mirror, bitch. Don't take it out on me. Because you shame them and then they. There's a lot of people that if you do their job for them, they get pissed at you, right? But it's because you pointed out you're showing them up that they didn't do their job correctly. But I'm not interested in shaming. I'm interested in shame, pain, which is champagne. That's what I want. That's all I wanted. Bitch, I know you're internalizing all this stuff. I just wanted a little of the bubbly, that's all. That's why it's here. I got a first class ticket.

Dr. Mark Hyman (34:11)

But there's anxiety with people traveling now, Adam. I mean, I was an exit row once, you know, you. When they say to you, I need a verbal yes, yes, there's a guy at the window. I don't feel comfortable saying it. She goes, okay, we can move your. We can move you to another seat. No, I'm good in this seat. I'm like, oh, here we go. New York, Louisiana. And I said, dude, you Say yes so we can go. I got to get back to la. I feel, you know, society is making us conform, all this shit. I go, dude, just say yes. Let's go. He wouldn't say. Then the gay head attendant came over. He wouldn't say yes to him. Then the pilot came and he goes, yeah, one more time. He goes, I don't feel comfortable. No problem. And then it was New York Transit Authority and this guy came out with gloves. These guys had gloves. And the guy came on the plane. I'll never forget it. He goes, two ways to get off the plane. You can walk off or we're going to carry you off. Either way, you're getting off the plane today. And the guy, I looked at him, I go, and in Greek, Malacca is wanker or jerk off. I go, you're the biggest Malacca I've ever met in my life. Just say yes so we can go. He didn't say yes. He walked off and they clapped him off the plane. He walked off the plane. He walked off the. He's not going to fly for 10 years. What? Because you know when you, when you're an exit row, they ask you, I need a verbal yes. All you have to do is this yes.

Jason Mayhem Miller (35:33)

Yeah, let's go.

Adam Carolla (35:34)

That's why I always fly with Jeff Dunham. Because if I get some Malacca. Get a Malacca, I get fucking Dunham. Just go yes. Everyone looks around. He can throw a yes into that guy's way. I only travel with Dunham now. I'll open for him on occasion, but oftentimes I won't. We just travel together.

Dr. Mark Hyman (35:55)

Let me ask you, Adam, why wouldn't he see us?

Adam Carolla (35:58)

I the the part of life and we can find it. Dawson, at my least favorite, I have least favorite human beings. And they're not even like the guys who shoot up schools and stuff I'm not fans of. But for some reason I hate these guys more because the school shooters and the whomever. The guy who preys on prostitutes or something. I just look at that as kind of baked into life. Like deep. Like we're species and a certain percentage of us are going to be gay and not procreate. And a certain percentage of us are going to kill ourselves and not continue the gene line and a certain percentage of us are going to kill others. It's just kind of baked in. Weirdly, I don't like it, but I've wrapped my mind around it. The guy who just won't do the affirmative, thumbs up in the seat part. I don't have space in my brain for that guy. I don't know who that guy is, you know, and it's the. Remember the Asian doctor on the flight, Dawson, that I hated. This is going on eight years now. He was a doctor who would not get off the flight. And it made all the rounds in the news. We talked about it. It had to be. This is going to be one of those timeline things for us to all think about, but had to be eight or ten years ago at this point. Could have been six. Six to ten years ago. Anyway, Asian doctor guy wouldn't get off the flight, did the same thing. The guys stand over the seat, the TSA guys with the gloves, and they go, look, you can get up and you can walk off of the flight, or we can drag you. We can carry you off of this flight. So you get to make that decision. I mean, how many times have you. I've been in that position where, you know, the cops have said to somebody, look, walk out, get into the ambulance, and we'll drive you to the psychiatric center. Or we can get you in a headlock and drag him. They go, come get some. You know what I mean? It's like, okay, I don't know why. I don't know why this is even on the table for most Americans. You know what I mean? Like, how many. How many body cam footages have you seen of the cop saying to the Karen or the crazy black chick, I'm going to ask you one more time. Get back in the car or I'm going to arrest you one more time. You going to come at me? All right, now we're arresting you. And then they always go, what's going on? But I'm like, what do you mean, what's going on? They laid it out, they told you what's going on? And this guy. But the better part in this thing, did we find what year it was a doctor, Asian doctor. He ended up suing the airline or the tsa, saying he got his tooth knocked out or something. I don't know if he died later, got arrested or something. He was my least favorite guy. But somebody had to stand in front of the guy's seat for 40 minutes trying to just get up. Just wouldn't do it off the plane. 2017, so my. My screen says, so that was seven years ago. Right. Right about somewhere around where I had it. And they dragged him off. And the funny part, the funniest part about it is there's always some woman who's on the flight. First off, you are holding up every Human being on this flight. Every human being. Someone's going to a funeral, someone's going to a wedding. Someone's in law. Picking them up and circling the airport. They don't know what's going on. But you're just sitting fucking everyone on this flight, I think. I don't know if we have it. We'll put it on the screen if we have it, by the way, but we'll. We'll play it. This is. I don't know why. I hate this guy more than anybody. And I also hate bitches. I hate guys who squeal, you know. You know, the guys who start doing something, the biggest mayhem. You're with me on this.

Jason Mayhem Miller (40:12)

I'm with you.

Adam Carolla (40:13)

You hate a pussy. I hate a pussy. Like, you know that. You know, like when Britney Spears is backing up in the alley behind the club and the paparazzi pretends he ran over. She ran over his foot, and he falls on the ground. I just want to go, get up, puss.

Jason Mayhem Miller (40:27)

Get up. Yeah.

Adam Carolla (40:29)

All right, well, I'll play him getting off the plane.

Angela Siroukis (40:34)

Shocking scenes filmed on cell phones.

Jason Mayhem Miller (40:37)

Oh, wow.

Adam Carolla (40:38)

By travelers on the United Airlines plan.

Angela Siroukis (40:40)

To depart from Chicago's O'Hare Airport.

Adam Carolla (40:44)

A man who'd been ordered to give.

Dr. Mark Hyman (40:45)

Up his seat to a United employee.

Adam Carolla (40:47)

And refused was violently forced off. Not violently. Well, oh, my God.

Dr. Mark Hyman (40:52)

Fellow passengers said as he was dragged by them.

Adam Carolla (40:56)

The airline later said he'd been chosen at random. No one volunteered to accept an offer of $400 and hotel accommodation until the next flight. He said he was a doctor and had patients to see the following day. All right, so he's screaming, but still. Oh, he got back up and ran to the back of the. Okay, look. My favorite part of it is the woman who's sitting four seats over, who's been hearing them say to this guy for 40 minutes, you either get up and leave or we will forcibly remove you from this plane. And at some point when they actually do it, she goes, what's going on? What do you mean, what's going on? There's nobody who knows what's going on better than you.

Dr. Mark Hyman (41:41)

You're sitting right now.

Adam Carolla (41:42)

You're sitting here listening to this for at least an hour. You know exactly what's going on. Do you know what I mean?

Dr. Mark Hyman (41:51)

Why are people. Like you said, it's the same concept of standing at Starbucks. You've been watching the menu for 15 minutes, and you get to the front and you're like, what should I have? Little anxiety if the woman standing beside this guy, that's being told, get the fuck off the plane for 20 minutes.

Adam Carolla (42:11)

What's going on?

Dr. Mark Hyman (42:12)

And they go, the police? I'm like, what?

Adam Carolla (42:16)

All right, everyone's horrible except for us.

Dr. Mark Hyman (42:19)

Yes.

Jason Mayhem Miller (42:19)

Yeah, we're great.

Adam Carolla (42:20)

All right. I don't know. You guys can tell me. Bill Maher. Bill Maher frequently says a lot of stuff I say after I say it. Now, I don't think he steals my jokes, but he could have folks in his orbit that may listen to things I say and then just sort of slide them over to Bill. And also, never underestimate human beings. I cannot tell you how many times people have said, oh, no, that was my ice. That was my thing, or whatever. And they think it. And then I play them the tape from the pod or whatever, and it's like, no, that's my joke. You know? But they will. People have all roads lead to narcissism. When you hear something you like or you think something is funny, you slide in to it and make it your own. Sometimes people definitely do that. So I was looking on Twitter. Bill tapes his show on Friday, and this was the Friday after the election. But there's two or three subjects to hit here. One is there are jokes that are stolen, and then there are jokes that are gonna be every funny person's first thought when they hear it. Which I always go, like when they do those. When comics do those jokes, I go, trump wants to get rid of Mexicans, and then he wants to build a wal. Who do you think is going to build that wall? Irish guys, you know? Yeah, it's like, all right, every comedian sort of has that thought, or many comedians have that thought. So this is him talking about Kamala on Friday.

Dawson (44:07)

Women that had to hurt for Kamala, I mean. I mean, the whole thing was. Must have been very painful. And they say she saw the writing on the wall. Around 10 o'clock at night on election night, she called McDonald's to see if.

Adam Carolla (44:22)

She'D get her old job. I don't know why. Now one would argue, why did he laugh through the punchline of calling McDonald's to get her old job back? But on Wednesday, I sent Rudy a text and I went, oh, yeah. I said, make a meme of. Make a meme of Kamala pulling the help wanted sign off the McDonald's or trying to get her job back at the McDonald's, basically is what I told him when I woke up the day after the election, knowing full well that there's gonna be 100 guys who have this thought at the same time. But I can see, I can't read it very. I just go, I had a meme idea, something with Kamala looking sad and help wanted sign in a McDonald's window or some version of that. Basically trying to get her job back at the McDonald's, which is the same joke, but this meme was out on Wednesday morning and then his monologue was Friday. And I do not say he or his guys rip off my jokes, but they think alike.

Dr. Mark Hyman (45:34)

Parallel look, everybody needs content. And I've seen this with comedians. So comics will go hang out, like at the HAHA or something. And there's a new talent later, amateur night, and a comic comes up with a good bit. The other comic, the comic spin around goes, hey, that was really funny, by the way. I do the same joke. Yeah, you shouldn't do that anymore. And they lift it and it happened. I've seen this, I've heard. So it's like they saw it. And what happens is that the writers. I see it on old jokes that I have that new content creators will take and act out or feel it. So you put the joke out, which was funny. You know, Kamala will go back looking for a job at McDonald's. Some writer somebody saw it, said, hey, we should. We can take Adam's joke and we'll just verbalize it or we'll film it. And that's what's happening. But when I hear about comedians who go to new comics who don't know and they go, oh, yeah, you know that joke you do about, you know, visiting your grandma and wearing a dress? I do the same, Almost the same joke. Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah, just don't do it. And then it's on their HBO special. And I thought, that's a douche move. Yeah, yeah, but they'll do it.

Adam Carolla (46:52)

I don't have enough self esteem to steal people's shit.

Dr. Mark Hyman (46:58)

There is parallel thought, like you were saying. There is parallel thought to.

Adam Carolla (47:02)

And this McDonald's joke would have to fall under parallel thought because she made such a deal over working at McDonald's and now she's out of a job, so she should go back to this place. She never had a job, by the way. She never worked in a McDonald's. It's insane. It's also, we're kind of cool with that. Like, she just lied about working at McDonald's. Yeah. Like, which is my whole argument with that is they go, we don't think Trump lies. And I go, he does, but that's your beef with him. Her thing Biden and Kamala lie all the time, too. But your argument is they're virtuous and he's the liar and he's the liar. So all I'm saying is they're both liars.

Dr. Mark Hyman (47:44)

I like how you said your beef with them. McDonald's.

Adam Carolla (47:46)

Yeah. Your double beef patty, special sauce, lettuce, cheese with him.

Jason Mayhem Miller (47:51)

Sesame seed bun. Motherfucker.

Dr. Mark Hyman (47:53)

But at least Trump went up there. He was serving fries and doing at.

Adam Carolla (47:56)

The drive, never touched by human hands. All right, shall we take. I should tell everyone something. On a sad note, a friend of the show and friend, Dennis Prager, who was just here last week, has suffered an injury.

Dr. Mark Hyman (48:16)

Oh, boy.

Adam Carolla (48:16)

I was with him. There's certain people in life where you hear about something bad happening to him and you're kind of agnostic about it. But Dennis is one of the good ones, man. He's just the greatest guy. I spent Saturday night with him at his benefit at a gig at the Beverly Wilshire, and I did about 10, 15 minutes at the top, and then he came out and we had a dialogue together for like an hour. And then he made a thing and we hugged it out and. And a day or two later, he slipped in the bathroom and hit his head and spine issues and waiting for the swelling to go down, but no feeling in the extremities and a real bad medical situation. So people hear about it around. And you should know that his wife sue reached out to me. Sort of wanted you to hear it before the news got hold of it kind of thing. So thoughts and prayers. I'll keep you guys updated because I'm texting back and forth with his wife, who's very on top of it as well, but sad, sad news. And sadder in the extent that I just saw him on Saturday night and had a great dialogue in front of an audience at the Beverly Wilshire Hotel. All right, we'll take a break. We got news. And we'll do that with Mayhem right after this. Hey, I'm Adam Kroll. That's Brad Williams and Jay Leno. Hey, everybody over there. We're doing our third annual comedy fantasy camp. That's going to be January 23rd through the 26th, right. In Hollywood, California. Where else would it be? These guys are going to be there. Remember, two out of every three comics make it big or one and a half.

Dawson (50:09)

Do I get paid for this?

Adam Carolla (50:10)

Please tell me get paid for this. Go to comedyfantasycamp.com and get in on the fun. Well, it's the best time of the year. To get some home security going. And that's where Simplisafe comes in. They're giving my listeners early access to the Black Friday sale. That's right. You get in early. Ground floor. Simplisafe's new active guard, Outdoor protection Changes the game by preventing crime before it happens. Right? You don't want to get a busted window, someone in the house, then you find out. Now, this nips it in the bud if someone's lurking around and acting suspicious. Agents see them in real time, talk to them directly, set off a spotlight, even call the police. No long term contracts. And by the way, I think they use AI to recognize the friendly neighbor, the person that's walking their dog. No long term, lock in contracts, cancellation fees. It's around a buck a day. That's not much to spend for security this week. Well, you can take 60% off any new system with the select professional monitoring plan. It's their best offer of the year. And it's all for you. It's Simplisafe. Right, dawson, head to simplisafe.com adam to claim your discount and make sure your home is safe this season. Don't wait. This offer won't last long.

Dr. Mark Hyman (51:40)

Keep your home, your family and your.

Adam Carolla (51:42)

Peace of mind protected. With Simplisafe. There's no safe like Simplisafe. Morgan and Morgan. Life can be crazy sometimes. And one person's negligence can result in another settlement. So let's hope that if anything happens to you, you get hold of Morgan and Morgan. If you're ever injured, check out our good friends Morgan and Morgan. America's largest injury law firm. Over 100 offices nationwide and more than 1,000 lawyers. And as long as we're in the Moore department, more than 20 billion with a B dollars recovered for over 500,000 plus clients. Morgan and Morgan has a proven track record of fighting and getting you full and fair compensation. Going on the road, doing stand up every weekend, well, that can be hard. But submitting an injury claim with Morgan and Morgan, that's easy. So go with Morgan and Morgan. Right, Dawson, if you're ever injured, you can check out Morgan and Morgan. Their fee is free unless they win. For more information, go to forthepeople.com Adam or dial Law £529 from your cell phone. That's for the people.com Adam or Law 529 from your cell. This is a paid advertisement. Hey there. It's Adam Carolla. You tired of your music sounding like yesterday's leftovers? Let me introduce you to Liveone Powered by Slacker, the streaming service that's here to save you from musical mediocrity. For just over three bucks a month, you get more than just songs. You get personalized stations that actually know what you like. Forget Spotify's endless scrolling or Apple Music's confusing interface. Slacker cuts right through the noise and gives you what you want in a snap. And it's not just about music. Enjoy the latest podcasts, videos, and even audiobooks. Want to try it out? Head over to liveone.com to sign up and change your listening game today. Because with Live one, powered by Slacker, your tunes will finally match your vibe. Unlike that last haircut with the five dollar meal deal at McDonald's, you pick a McDouble or a McChicken, then get a small fry, a small drink and a four piece McNuggets. That's a lot of McDonald's for not a lot of money. Price and participation may vary. For a limited time, only.

Dr. Mark Hyman (54:13)

If it sounded Greek for my father, it was Greek. That's it. Remember that movie, Boys in the Hood? South LA Gang Members we're watching with my dad? The guy, yo, I'm gonna pop a cap in your ass.

Adam Carolla (54:24)

What? That?

Dr. Mark Hyman (54:24)

Pop a cap in your ass. Pop a cap in your ass.

Adam Carolla (54:28)

You know him?

Dr. Mark Hyman (54:29)

Yes. He's related to Dimitri Bacamachos. That's it. He's Greek, too.

Adam Carolla (54:35)

Angelo Cerukas is on the Adam Carolla show. Angelo's got dates coming up. Yeah, it's going to be at the Chateau Ritz. That sounds pretty.

Dr. Mark Hyman (54:44)

In Chicago.

Adam Carolla (54:45)

That'll be December 1st.

Dr. Mark Hyman (54:46)

December 1st.

Adam Carolla (54:47)

And then laugh Factory.

Dr. Mark Hyman (54:49)

Yeah, Covina.

Adam Carolla (54:50)

Oh, I was just out there. Yeah, yeah, that's. Russell Peters is coming out there.

Dr. Mark Hyman (54:55)

We're doing it with. Russell's going to be hosting the show for me.

Adam Carolla (54:58)

That'll be December 18th.

Dr. Mark Hyman (55:00)

December 18th at the Covina. Laugh Factor. Crystal Marie's on it. And Ron Josell and Kevin Millard. It's a little, little, little.

Adam Carolla (55:07)

That is a stacked lineup.

Dr. Mark Hyman (55:08)

That's a good lineup. Well, they're all friends, right? And they're. And. And Crystal's great. She's funny. And Russell and it'll be a fun show.

Adam Carolla (55:15)

All right, should we do some news? Let's do some news.

Jason Mayhem Miller (55:18)

Whoopi Goldberg's in the news. She says she likes to be eaten occasionally. A raunchy joke shocks the Sarah Haynes on the View. Check it out.

Dr. Mark Hyman (55:39)

Yeah, I like to be eaten from time to time.

Angela Siroukis (55:48)

Woo.

Jason Mayhem Miller (55:49)

Is it just me or Whoopi Goldberg? Look more and more like a Muppet.

Adam Carolla (55:53)

She also. I was trying to. I was watching her. How much more comfortable could you dress for tv? You know what I mean? Like, she's literally just wearing a beach towel and slippers at this point. Like, she couldn't. First off, like, when she goes home, what does she change into? Just, like a comforter.

Dr. Mark Hyman (56:21)

Like, she just put her stuff.

Adam Carolla (56:22)

She's put a comforter over her head.

Dr. Mark Hyman (56:24)

Like, her pajamas. She's all comfortable.

Adam Carolla (56:27)

She. You want to talk about the greatest gig in the world? She makes 8 million bucks a year on the View. She shows up in pajamas, sits there and says nothing and mispronounces everyone's fucking name. And bum stumbles through cue cards and gets 8 million bucks.

Jason Mayhem Miller (56:53)

Good gig.

Adam Carolla (56:54)

8 million fucking bucks a year for sitting around in slippers and sweatpants and a hoodie bum, fumbling through your own comedic thoughts and not even stringing together. Yeah, yeah. And by the way, at some point, it is funny to me when at some point comedians abandon comedy. They're like, now I'm just the commentator. Except for now you're not funny, and you can't put thoughts together. Like, you don't have any fucking thing to say, and you're not funny. At least before you were funny. But now it just be like, if it just went. It's like if Paulie Shore went, no more comedy. Just thoughts. Just. Just whatever. I've just. I have no more thought. I've no more comedy where I'm just gonna do stupid thoughts about stuff that I don't understand.

Dr. Mark Hyman (57:45)

Well, I see it with a quarterback. You know, you. You had your career like Tom Brady. Now you're in the analyst booth. That makes sense. You can't really. But a comic can still do comedy. It's not like you're. But I. But you're right.

Adam Carolla (57:57)

Joy Behar is a comedian and Whoopi's a comedian, and they're not even.

Dr. Mark Hyman (58:01)

They don't care. Because you know why, Adam? They're getting 8 million a year to.

Adam Carolla (58:05)

Work in their pajamas.

Dr. Mark Hyman (58:06)

And their pajamas. I think I give up comedy also. 8 million bucks. Sure.

Adam Carolla (58:12)

Greatest fucking gig ever. The View.

Jason Mayhem Miller (58:15)

I'm beginning my transition now.

Dr. Mark Hyman (58:17)

Didn't they just get into it over something?

Jason Mayhem Miller (58:20)

The two co hosts always do that. Every, like, six weeks, I got a news story about that where they're just jawing at each other and everybody gets mad and they have a pajama ripoff party.

Adam Carolla (58:32)

Yeah. Sonny's always crying racism for everything, for everything. And there's always some other chick going. And then you have get your policies together and get more votes. And she's like, what about racism? Everything's women racist. It's always ironic. I always find it ironic when people, or especially women of color sit up there and then lecture everyone about the systemic racism and how you can't get ahead and stuff. But you're getting 8 million bucks and they send a town car to your home every day, and you're sitting up here hammering checks, doing nothing and making tons of cash. And by the way, before you had this gig, you went right through the system where you were like, head this and lead counsel for that and appointed this and everything. It's like, explain to me again, super rich person of color, how it is you're being held down by the system. And. And half These people are 60 years old. They were swimming like a shark through this oppressive system 30 years ago, 35 years ago. Like, okay, Ms. Oppressed, after you graduated from Brown University with a full scholarship and then got on in a prestigious law firm in 1983, how'd the oppression go again?

Dr. Mark Hyman (59:54)

Is it just good to see it?

Adam Carolla (59:55)

Maybe it's all narcissism. It's all narcissism. Plus they have some sort of weird thing. And I think all of us can vouch for this. White heterosexual males who, you know, walked on. I walked on a construction site when I was 19 and picked up a fucking shovel for seven bucks an hour and just fucking slugged it out. That's all I did. There was nothing. Well, you know who my dad is. They do this stuff all the time where they go, well, listen, come on, Mayhem, you fucking born on third base. Thought you hit a fucking triple. You know, is there any accommodation for just poor people? And sometimes they're white, and sometimes their families are broken, and sometimes there's welfare and food stamps and poverty and neglect and depression and they have to fucking. They get out of high school and they don't go to college. Yes. White guy, no college. Just work. Same with all my buddies. Like, they don't even think those people exist. They're like, well, of course. Oh, like when I walked on the construction site, like, the Foreman went, oh, Mr. Carolla, this way. No, you're not going to toil in the sun with the Mexicans. Come inside. We're going to teach you the fine art of finished carpentry. Now they just fucking hand me a shovel and told me to go outside.

Jason Mayhem Miller (61:16)

Wait, wasn't it Johnson who, like, has the quote where he said something about where you set the poor whites against the blacks that they Just they think they're better, and then that way you can control the populace.

Adam Carolla (61:28)

Yeah, they pit everyone against everyone. They're all fucking race hustlers, and no one should fucking listen to them. And they just lost because of their race hustle. So good. Good riddance. Anyway.

Jason Mayhem Miller (61:38)

Hey, Next up, Gladiator 2 cut. A gay kiss scene, says Denzel Washington, he kissed the guy full on the lips for no reason. They weren't ready for that yet. Yeah. So there's footage out there somewhere of Denzel making out with a dude.

Adam Carolla (61:53)

It wasn't in the script, I guess.

Jason Mayhem Miller (61:56)

No, it was. It was in the script, but the scene got cut out from the theatrical cut.

Adam Carolla (62:01)

Is that one of those Chinese things?

Dr. Mark Hyman (62:04)

It sounds like that ain't.

Adam Carolla (62:06)

That ain't the United States.

Dr. Mark Hyman (62:07)

No, it sounds like we want to release in China.

Jason Mayhem Miller (62:11)

Yeah.

Dr. Mark Hyman (62:11)

And take that out.

Adam Carolla (62:12)

They have. We have to do a Chinese edit now because there's so many potential ticket buyers over there, there's so much cash, that we just have to do it for them.

Dr. Mark Hyman (62:25)

That's right. Oh, as soon as you said it. That's right.

Adam Carolla (62:27)

That's what you thought, right?

Dr. Mark Hyman (62:28)

I think that's what it is because. Okay, he kissed the guy and knows that he plays the emperor or something, right?

Adam Carolla (62:34)

Yeah.

Jason Mayhem Miller (62:35)

And he's actually earning some Oscar buzz for the best supporting actor category. It's red, I think so. For a sequel to a action movie.

Adam Carolla (62:45)

Yeah.

Jason Mayhem Miller (62:45)

They're saying that there's Oscar buzz.

Adam Carolla (62:47)

We have a video of it. Oscar Buzz was my gay porn name. Yeah.

Dr. Mark Hyman (62:53)

No, they cut the kissing scene off. All right, let's see.

Adam Carolla (62:56)

Your character makes a few remarks throughout the film about having a relationship with other men in the film. So I wanted to ask, how gay is the Roman Empire?

Dr. Mark Hyman (63:08)

The entire empire, or. I actually kissed the man in the.

Adam Carolla (63:13)

Film, but they took it.

Dr. Mark Hyman (63:14)

They cut out. I think they got chicken.

Adam Carolla (63:16)

I was going to ask because I just heard about the Paul and Pedro forehead kiss that apparently got cut from the movie. I'm not sure about that one, but I kissed the guy full on the lips.

Dr. Mark Hyman (63:28)

And I guess they weren't ready for that yet.

Jason Mayhem Miller (63:31)

That's funny, but your kids are gonna love it.

Adam Carolla (63:34)

They kissed. There was. You know, it's a weird thing. You tell me. In the movie Rush, James Hunt kissed. The character of James Hunt kissed. The guy has. God, I can't think of his name. The guy who bought him the F1 car, who gave him the. Sponsored him in his first F1 race. The chubby guy who was the team owner can find this clip when he unveiled that he was going to let James Hunt, he send him up to F1.

Dr. Mark Hyman (64:17)

That was played by the Australian actor.

Adam Carolla (64:19)

Right. I don't know his background, but he was really good in the. In the movie, and the movie's really good. He gave him the two hands on the face and the kiss on the lips. Now, if you kiss on the lips, you're gay, but if you get the guy's head in the vise and do it, you're not gay.

Jason Mayhem Miller (64:35)

That's comical.

Adam Carolla (64:36)

So what? I don't know. Why? Because one is assault and sex. The other is just a sexual thing. But gayer. Zero hands, two hands, kiss. Not gay.

Dr. Mark Hyman (64:48)

Well, some cultures say if you're the receiver, you're the gay one, not the giver. I'm not kidding. You're. If you're the one taking it, you're the gay one. But the guy giving it isn't that.

Jason Mayhem Miller (65:01)

Don't pass down through the ancient Greeks.

Dr. Mark Hyman (65:03)

I'm telling you, man, this is. Like I said, this thing. Hold on. You're putting yours into his. But he's the gay one.

Jason Mayhem Miller (65:11)

Yeah, but I thought that was a gag, like, from vaudeville, like when you grab the guy's head and, like, that's always funny. Yeah, exactly.

Adam Carolla (65:19)

But. So if they cut it out, he must have made out with him.

Jason Mayhem Miller (65:22)

Yeah, it was.

Dr. Mark Hyman (65:23)

Right.

Jason Mayhem Miller (65:24)

It was sensual.

Dr. Mark Hyman (65:25)

Denzel's looking good.

Adam Carolla (65:27)

Yeah. Sharp.

Dr. Mark Hyman (65:28)

Yeah, yeah, you're looking good.

Jason Mayhem Miller (65:29)

Look, if there's.

Dr. Mark Hyman (65:30)

But I think. I think that's what it is. I think it's the China factor. They're gonna probably take it out of the film because then they. What was the other film they did that with?

Adam Carolla (65:37)

Top Gun.

Dr. Mark Hyman (65:38)

Top Gun.

Jason Mayhem Miller (65:39)

Well, they. He had, like, a Taiwan patch on it. Yeah, they Photoshopped it out and they took it out.

Adam Carolla (65:44)

Yeah. Yeah. I. I think it's so sad. But it also shows you that Hollywood will do anything for money all day, every day, and they never stop talking about being virtuous. But if it means making a nickel, they're. They'll do anything, right? All the time.

Dr. Mark Hyman (66:05)

Yeah.

Jason Mayhem Miller (66:06)

They made John Cena, like, apologizing.

Adam Carolla (66:10)

Yeah, they'll do anything.

Jason Mayhem Miller (66:12)

That was surreal. Yeah. He was like, full on bullpup. They're like, yeah, yeah. In Chinese, apologizing to the. I don't know, because he said something about Taiwan.

Adam Carolla (66:21)

He said something about Taiwan being a nation or something. They don't even, like maps that have Taiwan on it. Not. You know, he said, Taiwan is this place and China's that place. And they made him apologize. And then the owner of the Mavericks or the Set? Not the Mavericks, but one of the owners of Rockets. Rockets said something about China and then. And they made. Made him walk it back. I mean, look, here's my thing. Whether you're the NBA or whether you're Hollywood or whomever you might be, you want money. I want money, too. I do not blame you for wanting money. Well, if you're Nike or Apple or LeBron James, you want to get paid, I get it. Spare me the morals conversation. That's all I'm saying. Just say you want fucking money. Don't give me the conversation about freedom and don't give me the conversation about human rights and living in dignity and then support China. Just shut your fucking Hippocratic fucking hypocritical mouth and go fucking hammer your checks. Don't give me your fucking speeches on morality and then tell everyone else to shut up when they're talking about China because you're scared and you want more money. Just shut up. Stop giving me the fucking speech about being better than everyone and doing business with China. Just hand me your fucking checks. Because Hollywood gives you the morality speech and then sucks China's dick. That's what they do, and so does the NBA. Keep watching. Just shut up.

Dr. Mark Hyman (67:57)

It's true. You're 100% right. Because, look, there was a show called Famagusta about the invasion of Cyprus. Fifty years ago, the Turks invaded Cyprus and occupied. It's the only occupied capital in Europe. Netflix was gonna put a show out called Famagusta. Turkish government contacted the American government and said, you know, we don't want this to be aired on Netflix because, you know, we're really good people. You're not. And then they didn't do it because of the same reasons. And then they said, but we're good people. Bullshit. I think what happens is you're 100% right, man. Money talks, bullshit walks. Yeah, that's all it is.

Adam Carolla (68:38)

That's it. Listen, I've said it a million times. The most liberal guy in this town is Bryan Cranston. I drove him to Burbank Airport so he could get on an airplane to go shoot Breaking Bad in New Mexico because they got a tax break.

Dr. Mark Hyman (68:56)

Wow.

Adam Carolla (68:58)

Everyone here will just get on a plane and leave if they can save a nickel. Yeah, that's how it works. So good. Just spare me the part where you go pay your fair share. Come on. Rich people pay. You fucking cowards get on an airplane and leave at the drop of a hat, this entire town clears out to go Film somewhere else to save a nickel. So don't give me fucking speeches about what? About a little more for the kids. Hang out, pay a little more and do your productions here.

Dr. Mark Hyman (69:29)

Well, yeah. I mean, it's. Look, everybody, I love when they get their speeches. And we have to create. We're community. We have to create. We have. Fucking bullshit, man. You're gonna go to Romania or Botswana.

Adam Carolla (69:41)

They go anywhere. Anywhere that can save a nickel, you.

Dr. Mark Hyman (69:44)

Know, and that's what.

Adam Carolla (69:45)

And by the way, they get angry. Like, these businesses they're starting, these offshore accounts, try to stay here and pay your fair share, okay? Their business, they're trying to save money. That's all. Same way when you go out of town and shoot a film business, trying to save money. What the fuck's the difference? Okay, stay here. Do the right thing. Pay your fair share. Okay? All of Hollywood, stay here. Do the right thing. Pay her fair share. We have the kiss from Rush. They slowed it down and they put music to it. Oh, no, we have the actual kiss. Your brother and I got together with the bean counters. And since the economics of F1 are not so significantly different to the economics.

Angela Siroukis (70:25)

Of Formula two, well, we thought if.

Dr. Mark Hyman (70:28)

We were going to be losing money.

Adam Carolla (70:29)

We might as well be doing it on the big roulette table in Formula one. You fat, little inbred beauty.

Dr. Mark Hyman (70:37)

Oh, he loved that. That's like a Hemsworth.

Adam Carolla (70:42)

Now. That's also considered assault now here, right?

Jason Mayhem Miller (70:45)

Oh, yeah. Hold on.

Adam Carolla (70:47)

I gotta say, when I was watching a movie, it's about the only time I raised my hand when he went. And since the economics of F1 are not so different than Formula 2, I was like, there's a little difference in terms of money. I'm running a Formula 2 team versus F1.

Jason Mayhem Miller (71:05)

I didn't even know there was a Formula 2 team right now.

Dr. Mark Hyman (71:08)

Fat little bastard. And then I made out with him. I go. But he put probably 50 million into that.

Adam Carolla (71:12)

They got F1, Formula 2, Formula Atlantic. On Formula 4, there's a lower division.

Jason Mayhem Miller (71:21)

And how much money you can spend on the car, it's.

Adam Carolla (71:25)

You can kind of tell it by the width of the tires. The tires get skinnier as it goes down. And the price of running an F1 team versus Formula Atlantic or something like that, it's just exponentially, like, 10, you know, a thousand times more.

Jason Mayhem Miller (71:42)

Yeah.

Adam Carolla (71:42)

Yeah. I mean, this is 1978 or something, so there may have been a little closer. But, no, there's a big difference between F1 back then and, yeah, Formula 2 or whatever. But anyway, Good movie.

Dr. Mark Hyman (71:58)

That's a good movie.

Adam Carolla (71:59)

Yeah.

Dr. Mark Hyman (72:00)

Is that the one that Ron Howard directed?

Adam Carolla (72:01)

Yep.

Dr. Mark Hyman (72:02)

Yeah, that was really good movie.

Jason Mayhem Miller (72:03)

It had some type of, you know, magic in there. You could see.

Adam Carolla (72:08)

With the five dollar meal deal at McDonald's, you pick a McDouble, or a McChicken, then get a small fry, a small drink and a four piece McNuggets. That's a lot of McDonald's for not a lot of money. Price and participation may vary. For a limited time only.

Angela Siroukis (72:22)

Been sitting a while. Maybe it's time to go for a quick walk around the block. Walk, skip, sprint, sashay. Whatever gets you up and moving. A little exercise can make a big difference. This healthy suggestion is brought to you by Regents Blue Cross Blue Shield of Oregon. Together we help.

Jason Mayhem Miller (72:40)

Look, get ready for your ears to bleed because Mark Zuckerberg just dropped a single with T Pain. Yeah, T Pain and Zuckerberg did a cover of Get Low. This right here just blows my mind that Mark Zuckerberg is just, you know, once is buying his way to celebrity. Like where I've seen him do like short action movies with all the top stars. Like a three. Yeah, three minute clip, if you can find that too. Three minute clip of him fighting John Cena and winning. And like I'm really.

Dr. Mark Hyman (73:13)

Yeah.

Jason Mayhem Miller (73:14)

This nerd just took over the entire world where he can just buy everything and do anything. Yeah.

Adam Carolla (73:21)

It's not enough. You know, rich guys in the past, all they wanted was brandy, cigars, a library with their name on it and.

Jason Mayhem Miller (73:30)

An army of horses, mistresses.

Adam Carolla (73:32)

Yeah, yeah. That's all simple pleasures, you know what I mean?

Dr. Mark Hyman (73:36)

Sounds good to me.

Adam Carolla (73:37)

Sounds good, right? And at a certain point they had to like, I need to occupy Mars. I need to travel space, I need to buy an island. You know, I. I need to take on Chuck Liddell and tap him out. Like, when, when did all this begin?

Dr. Mark Hyman (73:54)

Just occupy Mars.

Adam Carolla (73:56)

Just hang out with your mistresses, drink your brandy, smoke your cigars and get a library. And we'll put it. Put your name on it. That's all.

Jason Mayhem Miller (74:06)

Oh, we have the clip.

Adam Carolla (74:18)

3, 6, 9. Damn, you're fine. Hoping you can sock it to me, baby one more time.

Angela Siroukis (74:28)

Get low, get low, get low, get.

Adam Carolla (74:31)

Low, get low, get low, get low. That's what that chick was telling you, Angela. Get down. Is T Pain a big deal? Yeah, I don't know.

Jason Mayhem Miller (74:59)

It's like one of the, like, biggest recording artists of the last 10 years. Yeah, he's the guy who does the robot voice. You know it, you seen it, you've heard it.

Adam Carolla (75:08)

I hate the robot. Yeah.

Dawson (75:09)

He's a talented performer.

Jason Mayhem Miller (75:10)

How much producer. He's a guy who gets anybody's. He'd make a song a hit.

Dr. Mark Hyman (75:15)

How much free advertising did Zuckerberg give him for this? No, that's what I'm saying.

Jason Mayhem Miller (75:19)

He's the classic guy who bought all his friends. He's the nerd that bought all his friends.

Dr. Mark Hyman (75:24)

Yeah.

Jason Mayhem Miller (75:24)

And good. Good for him, I guess. But, yeah, he went from. If you remember the movie, what that Social Network. Social Network kind of made everyone hate him because he kind of snagged idea, did some joke thievery, and then everyone hated him. But now he has bought his way into the good graces of the public.

Adam Carolla (75:43)

Well, it's kind of interesting because Social Network's a great movie.

Jason Mayhem Miller (75:48)

Yeah.

Adam Carolla (75:49)

And he kind of comes off like a douche, even though I don't.

Dawson (75:53)

I got.

Adam Carolla (75:53)

I got plenty of room for those kind of guys. I don't. I don't. I don't judge. But then. Then you get the Winklevoss twins, and then you get Armie Hammer, but then you get Armie Hammer accused of cannibalism, and then everyone kind of turns to Armie Hammer and starts turning on him. And then we give Zuckerberg a break, because we found a guy who was in the movie, even though Zuckerberg wasn't in the movie, but he was portrayed by a guy who made him sound like a douche. But then we found a guy who played twins who were in the movie, but he was. Wasn't the guy, but he got accused of cannibalism, and we got kind of confused and distracted, but we were like, as a society, we're like, give the nerd a break. This fucking tall guy's eating bitches. And then we all turned toward him, and then we gave Zuckerberg a break, but it was never him. It was his character. I don't know. I'm confused even talking about it. And now Armie Hammer is trying to make a comeback back.

Jason Mayhem Miller (76:51)

Yeah.

Adam Carolla (76:51)

Yeah.

Dr. Mark Hyman (76:52)

What?

Jason Mayhem Miller (76:52)

He never ate anybody.

Adam Carolla (76:53)

I. I don't give a. Yeah.

Dr. Mark Hyman (76:56)

Isn't he the heir to the Arm and Hammer baking sort of thing?

Jason Mayhem Miller (77:00)

Holy.

Adam Carolla (77:00)

I've been.

Dr. Mark Hyman (77:01)

No, I heard. I've heard that.

Adam Carolla (77:02)

I've been told this, like, eight times, and I. And I. And I always get confused because somebody brings it up, and then somebody says now and. Or something. But now we got to look into it.

Dr. Mark Hyman (77:13)

No, somebody. I mean, his name's Army Hammer, which. But then maybe that's why they named.

Jason Mayhem Miller (77:21)

Him, you know, Arm And Hammer has been a thing forever. Yeah, exactly. So maybe it's true. They just gave it, like, funny joke, like a pun. His parents.

Adam Carolla (77:31)

I think there's some connection with somebody's guy. Look it up.

Dr. Mark Hyman (77:34)

Baking soda on his victims before he eats them.

Jason Mayhem Miller (77:37)

Armond Hammer is a relative, and I.

Adam Carolla (77:41)

Think his grandfather and his name was Armand Hammer.

Jason Mayhem Miller (77:44)

And then he bought Arm and Hammer. Geez.

Adam Carolla (77:47)

Oh, his desk grandfather.

Dr. Mark Hyman (77:49)

Yeah.

Jason Mayhem Miller (77:50)

For Joe, like, everybody was like, Arm and Hammer. And he just went ahead and bought.

Adam Carolla (77:53)

It because he's army is the grandson of the guy. So he's kind of good, right? Like, he doesn't have to work, right?

Dr. Mark Hyman (78:02)

Yeah, I think he's okay.

Jason Mayhem Miller (78:03)

The only time you get into some weird, like, cannibalism is when you have enough money to stock the way. Where now it's weird. Now I can't just bang chicks off Tinder. I gotta figure out how to, like, fantasize that. Eat them. Yeah.

Adam Carolla (78:18)

I don't get. I. We're such a stupid society. Like a guy sending weird texts. Who cares? We don't care. Do we care?

Jason Mayhem Miller (78:26)

Nah. It's a strange fantasy. It's like toe sucking. You know, maybe I'll try it.

Dr. Mark Hyman (78:31)

But I'm getting all these weird texts now anyway from people. I don't know. It's a new thing. Are you getting them on your phone? People just randomly sending you, hey, you want to meet up for drinks later? I'm like, who is this? I just delete junk. Delete junk.

Adam Carolla (78:43)

Oh, really?

Dr. Mark Hyman (78:44)

There's something going around. Yeah. And that. People just sending you stuff. And my phone will ring five, six times a day, and I don't know who. If I don't recognize a number. They give you the local, like 818-OR-310. I don't answer if I don't see a name attached to it.

Jason Mayhem Miller (78:57)

That. That's a scam center in. That's their whole strategy is they'll be like, oh, whoops.

Adam Carolla (79:04)

Oh.

Jason Mayhem Miller (79:04)

And then it's a hot chick. You're like, wow, I can't believe my luck. And then you start chatting with her, and then she's like, buy me apple gift card. And then you buy her an apple gift card, and she never gives you any pussy.

Dr. Mark Hyman (79:14)

But, you know, it started because I wanted the free WI fi at the Des Moines airport. And then I signed up. That's probably. And I went to a mailing list.

Dawson (79:23)

All around the world.

Dr. Mark Hyman (79:24)

I think that's what it is now.

Jason Mayhem Miller (79:26)

Oh, no. They have a thing where the. And the. There's a scam Inside the airport where somebody just brings a wifi spot and then comes and jacks all your jacks.

Dr. Mark Hyman (79:36)

All the information, and you only get.

Jason Mayhem Miller (79:38)

18 months for that.

Adam Carolla (79:40)

I get an email. I wake up to an email every day from the Kamala Harris campaign. I got one this morning.

Dr. Mark Hyman (79:50)

Really?

Adam Carolla (79:50)

They still need money because there's still work to do. I'm like, wow, you've got the wrong dude. But not only you got the wrong dude. It's been over a week. You lost how much? You had a billion. That wasn't enough? No. And who the fuck is donating after the loss, after you guys spent a billion? They gotta pay creditors, I guess. But that's a weird one, right, Adam?

Dr. Mark Hyman (80:15)

I heard all the performers that all those big names that were supporting her all got paid.

Adam Carolla (80:19)

Well, this is. There's.

Dr. Mark Hyman (80:21)

They all got paid.

Adam Carolla (80:21)

There's controversy. There's. There's. They. Okay, so here's. Here's how it works, all right? In my humble opinion, they confronted Oprah and they're like, oprah, did you charge a million dollars to do your interview with Kamala? And then Oprah goes, I never got paid a penny. Well, Harpo Productions got paid a million dollars. So that's kind of Oprah lying. Because I have an entity and a production entity as well. And if somebody said, did Daily Wire pay you for Mr. Bertrand? I go, no, no, they didn't pay me. Well, they paid my company, right?

Jason Mayhem Miller (81:05)

Yeah, yeah.

Adam Carolla (81:07)

Oprah has company. She has a production company. So she got a million. Her company gets a million bucks. But guess who owns the company? Her name is Oprah. No. Nobody brought a shack of nickels to Oprah's house and paid her. They paid the company. So she's lying. But not really. By definition, I didn't get paid, but her company got paid. Then there was. Here's what they paid Beyonce and here's what they paid Cardi b. Or whatever. Whatever, whatever. Now, here's how our society works. Allegations are made. Then you look it up, and PolitiFact says it's untrue. And then you go to a couple other fact checking websites and they say it's untrue. And then three to seven months from now, it's true.

Jason Mayhem Miller (81:53)

Yeah.

Adam Carolla (81:53)

So that'll be. That'll be how it'll go. It's untrue. For now. And I don't even know. I mean, Joe can look, because Joe and I did kind of look it up a little. And I keep seeing it. But the problem. Here's the problem. I think if you Google. Here's the problem. I don't know, Dawson, maybe you have some dark website you can go to or something. But here's the problem. If you Google, okay, 51 intelligence experts signed a doc that said Hunter Biden's laptop had all the earmarks of Russian collusion. Right?

Dr. Mark Hyman (82:32)

Right.

Adam Carolla (82:33)

So if the next day you googled, is Hunter Biden's laptop real? The first 10 things that would come up, it's been debunked. And then you would go, all right, all right. And now I'm going home. Except for Google is not feeding you. They're feeding you what they want to feed you.

Dr. Mark Hyman (82:47)

Right.

Adam Carolla (82:48)

So now you have to be careful that when you Google, it's just going to be the shit that they want you to. And their bond paid for to an extent. So now you have to really check. So, I don't know. I do know Oprah got a million bucks, but it was her production company that got a million bucks, not her.

Dr. Mark Hyman (83:04)

The company.

Adam Carolla (83:04)

Yeah. Which is her. But, okay, it's a technicality. Now, other people, there's a difference between saying, I need a million dollars to perform and it's gonna cost a million dollars. Cause you gotta fly me hair and makeup, my. My team, my fucking backup dancers or whatever. The sound system. There's expense that goes along with it. So there's some of that. So it can get gray area. Ish. But I would assume, knowing what I know from the news, anything that is alleged and then immediately gets debunked turns out to be true. But they wait until people don't care.

Jason Mayhem Miller (83:49)

Yeah.

Adam Carolla (83:49)

So this will probably come around. But if you go to Google, the first three things that come up will be, it's been debunked. But then that's Google's algorithm as well.

Dr. Mark Hyman (83:59)

Well, it makes. Look, it makes sense to me that you want to get that celebrity endorsement. You raised $1 billion. So, look, we want to get you. I think she was in Houston with Beyonce and then Chicago with Katy Perry. So it's like, let's get that celebrity endorsement in.

Adam Carolla (84:14)

I wonder if. And I wonder. Like, we only hear about the top five. You know, we hear about Eminem and Beyonce and Cardi B, but does it keep going? You know what I mean? Like, hey, Peter north, here's $6,000. You do have a community. You know what I mean?

Dr. Mark Hyman (84:33)

Talk about this.

Adam Carolla (84:35)

You have a certain community. Like, we got enough money to give everyone a couple of ducats. Like a. People know, you know, you know, doing standup, they'll give Seinfeld 200 grand. But there's a. There's there's corporate gigs for 2500 bucks that you've got our name on.

Dr. Mark Hyman (84:51)

I got a gig, right? I got a gig. It's like Taylor Swift, you know, she endorsed her, and it was like, well, it's going to hurt her. No, it's not. It's.

Jason Mayhem Miller (84:59)

Yeah.

Dr. Mark Hyman (85:00)

She's walking out with, what, 1.1 billion net after this arrest tour. $1.1 billion net.

Adam Carolla (85:09)

Yeah. It's like.

Dr. Mark Hyman (85:09)

You know, and it's. And then it was like. But Elon. I'm fascinated by Elon Musk.

Adam Carolla (85:14)

Yeah, me too.

Dr. Mark Hyman (85:15)

I mean, the fact that when he endorsed Trump, I was like, this guy. This is why this guy's the richest guy in the world. He knows.

Adam Carolla (85:23)

Did he find anything, or is it still. Because I keep hearing it both ways, but I'm not sure.

Dr. Mark Hyman (85:29)

All I have found is that there's no.

Jason Mayhem Miller (85:32)

There's no proof that she. That any of these people were paid by the Harris campaign.

Dr. Mark Hyman (85:38)

Like, you can't.

Jason Mayhem Miller (85:38)

There's no paper trail. So anybody saying that they were paid.

Adam Carolla (85:41)

It'S hard to prove that. So how. So the person that made it up just went 5 to Beyonce and 1 point. 1.7 to Cardi B. And like 1.5 to Eminem. Like, they're just making.

Jason Mayhem Miller (85:55)

I think those numbers are on the spends for those events.

Adam Carolla (86:00)

Oh, for the events.

Jason Mayhem Miller (86:01)

And then the Harris campaign spent $5 million yesterday. Beyonce was there. They spent $5 million on a Beyonce.

Adam Carolla (86:07)

Oh, I see.

Dr. Mark Hyman (86:08)

Kind of thing. Right.

Adam Carolla (86:09)

Because there's no paper trail of, like, them getting paid. Okay. Dark web, Dawson. Same. Same outcome. All right, I will. I will assume something will come out at some later. Later.

Dr. Mark Hyman (86:25)

D. We're never gonna know.

Adam Carolla (86:27)

Oh, well, no. Eventually, you said, we'll know when people don't care. It's like by the time we found out Lance Bass was gay.

Dr. Mark Hyman (86:34)

Yeah.

Adam Carolla (86:34)

Nobody cared.

Dr. Mark Hyman (86:35)

Nobody cared.

Adam Carolla (86:35)

We need to know back when he was on top. You know what I mean? Or bottom.

Jason Mayhem Miller (86:40)

Wait. Lance Pass is gay?

Adam Carolla (86:42)

Oh, man. I didn't want to ruin your day again. I know. You thought he's gonna be your wingman. Well, he still could be. All right, we got another.

Dawson (86:50)

Yeah.

Adam Carolla (86:50)

Joe Rogan.

Jason Mayhem Miller (86:51)

Liz Harris's campaign. The hilarious requirements for appearing on his podcast. Yeah, he divulged this list. He revealed that Harris campaign had multiple conversations about her potential appearance and gave her open invitation to come by, but they ultimately blocked the interview. They had requirements and things she didn't want to talk about, such as marijuana legalization, which he thought was hilarious. Which is a big deal because that's Joe's, like, main thing I know.

Adam Carolla (87:25)

It'd be like coming on this podcast and not want to talk about vintage Datsun parts. Yeah, well, you know, there's a couple of weird. I never understand. I don't understand anything. You're gonna make this request, then you're gonna get denied this request, and then the person is gonna talk about the request you made, and then you're gonna seem even worse than you are.

Dr. Mark Hyman (87:49)

Then you were.

Adam Carolla (87:50)

Why are we even attempting this? Do you know what I'm saying?

Dr. Mark Hyman (87:55)

Well, I think her handlers didn't want her going on Joe's show. I think she didn't have enough. You know, Joel was gonna ask her all those questions where I saw the thing with Trump and he's like, yeah, whatever. It's like having a conversation. He doesn't care.

Adam Carolla (88:12)

Yeah, I get it. I mean, first off, isn't there a bit. Isn't there sort of a baked in guilt if the cops go, your wife's missing, we wanna talk to you. And Mark Garagos taps you on the shoulder and goes, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Well, if you just woke up and your wife was missing, you'd then sit down with the cops and just go, I woke up, she was gone. I don't know. I don't know where she is. She's not here. I don't know. But it's like. It's a little baked in admittance of guilt. We're like, okay, you can interview this person, but you only have 20 minutes and you can't talk about X, Y or Z. And then we get edit approval. It's like, well, what are you saying about your fucking person? And the good. We'll play the clip, by the way, with Joe. The good news is it's now a bygone era. There's no more you. So I'll explain place clip, and we'll tell you about.

Angela Siroukis (89:19)

Yes, I was surprised she didn't come on the podcast a little bit, it seems like.

Dr. Mark Hyman (89:25)

And this is all reports, these are all anecdotal reports.

Adam Carolla (89:28)

Right?

Dr. Mark Hyman (89:28)

But it seems like her campaign was kind of chaotic, like no one could make a decision. They had I don't know how many conversations with my folks.

Angela Siroukis (89:38)

Right?

Dr. Mark Hyman (89:38)

But multiple conversations, giving different dates, different times, different this, different that. And we knew that she was going to be in Texas. So I said, open invitation, right?

Angela Siroukis (89:48)

You said, you can come whenever you want, any time.

Dr. Mark Hyman (89:50)

You pick a time, I will be here.

Adam Carolla (89:52)

And you would have been the Best.

Angela Siroukis (89:53)

Person for her to talk to. Because you're not going to attack her. You would just ask her questions.

Adam Carolla (89:57)

But that's the problem.

Dr. Mark Hyman (89:58)

I don't know if she'd be able to answer those questions. I'll ask her questions, but I think they had requirements on things that she didn't want to talk about. About. She didn't want to talk about marijuana legalization, so I thought was hilarious. Why, like, that's so. Because of her prosecuting record.

Angela Siroukis (90:11)

Oh, well, I mean, that is, like.

Adam Carolla (90:12)

That was her old job, though.

Dr. Mark Hyman (90:14)

Yeah. And, you know, she put a lot of people in jail for weed. 1500, apparently.

Angela Siroukis (90:19)

It's not really that many, though. 1500.

Dr. Mark Hyman (90:22)

I'll tell those guys. Those 1500 still in prison? No.

Angela Siroukis (90:26)

Oh, okay.

Dr. Mark Hyman (90:26)

And they're fine now.

Angela Siroukis (90:28)

Well, prison really builds characters. Character.

Dr. Mark Hyman (90:31)

You go in there.

Adam Carolla (90:33)

All right, so let me explain the New World Order. Joe, you can clear the screen, because that's basically what I said, right? The New World Order is publicists had a playbook, and the publicist playbook worked for, like, 75 years. They did a lot of, like, here's what you do, and here's what you don't do, and here's what we're going to do, and here's what you can ask, and here's what you can't ask. And it used to work for apologies, too. So it used to be some celebrity would get caught making some racial slur or something. And then the publicist would go, okay, this is speed bump. I'll just craft a little letter. And then you go out and then you read it and you apologize and talk about volunteering with the Eskimo community and so on and so forth. And then. Then we go back to work the next day. Like, it's all gone. All right? Now you get fired anyway, you know what I mean? Like, there is. The old playbook didn't work. You.

Jason Mayhem Miller (91:36)

You just do it.

Adam Carolla (91:38)

Oh, Inuit. Yeah. You stuff used to just have to read a prepared apology that somebody else wrote for you, Right? And it's like, look, it's gonna be one shitty afternoon. Go up there, read this shit, pretend like you mean it, and then we'll go back to work. And that's how it used to work. We'd call for someone's apology after they did whatever, and then they would apologize, and we go, all right, now go back to work. Now we fire everyone. The old playbook doesn't work. Kamala Harris, her people still had the old publicist playbook. Tell Joe Rogan. He's limited to an hour. He's not gonna talk about potatoes. He's not gonna talk about this, he's not gonna talk about that. And then we have the power to edit out or whatever. Tell him that, and then we'll show up. And that's the old playbook, which was perfectly acceptable in the past. Now you say it, he goes, no. And then he talks about it on the air. So it's gone and the apology's gone. You get popped doing something, you go, fuck you. I'm going to substitute.

Jason Mayhem Miller (92:46)

Yeah, I know. Just so you know, one of the requirements was for him to come to them.

Adam Carolla (92:51)

Right, Right. So I'm just saying it's all yesterday's. It's all your dad's publicist playbook. It's all out the fucking window. The New World Order is you show up, sit down with Tucker Carlson and smoke pot. That's the New World Order.

Dr. Mark Hyman (93:09)

Right. I think you're right. Because in that instance, if you think about it, it's like, she was Attorney General, how many people she put away in jail.

Jason Mayhem Miller (93:17)

Now you're 1900, actually.

Dr. Mark Hyman (93:19)

Right, right.

Jason Mayhem Miller (93:20)

That's the real number.

Dr. Mark Hyman (93:21)

Running for president now. And part of the, you know, the curriculum here is now, are we going to legalize weed all across America? And it's like, well, I don't want to answer that question. Well, then. And then, like you said, he. Joe's like, now he's taken all those talking points, now he's going to talk about it for the next six months.

Adam Carolla (93:39)

Yeah, the next. The other New World Order is you go on the Sunday show and when you start getting attacked, instead of backpedaling and trying to explain yourself, you go on the offense and start fucking. Fucking them up. That's the next New World Order double down.

Dr. Mark Hyman (93:54)

Order double down.

Adam Carolla (93:55)

That's what all. That's what happened in this last cycle. And so what you had is one campaign was on the New World Order, and the other campaign was sort of the old version of what they. Look, they did it with Joe Biden. It worked. Keep them away from the tough questions, keep them sort of hidden away. Go on the attack, accuse everyone else of being racist and misogynist and whatever, and we'll get across the finish line. And it worked. So they just went, we're going with. We're gonna dance with who brung us. The other one went, scorched earth, New World Order. And now both sides will go New World Order from this day forward.

Dr. Mark Hyman (94:36)

Yeah, I think you're right. You can't do that. You can't Go say, don't ask this, don't do this. It's a. Especially in a podcast format. It's one on one. You want to get to know the candidate. And I think. And defense to her. Not that I'm a big fan, but they threw her into the lines, then America doesn't know who she is. Here's a chance for you to let them know. No, no, you're not going to answer this. You're not going to answer that. We're going to edit it. Her interview on 60 Minutes. What a shit show. And I thought they edited the whole thing. And it looked like it was edited so people that. You're right, it hurt her as opposed to helping her. And I think people aren't stupid anymore. They look at this going, okay, it's editing. It's Photoshop. I have it on my phone.

Adam Carolla (95:17)

But it's also authenticity, right? We will forgive your foibles and even the things we disagree with. You know, the new world order is like, you get caught with an extramarital affair, you just go, yeah, yeah, stupid. Wish I hadn't done it. But I'm a dude. I had a boner. And then we go, oh, I like that guy versus bullshit dance thing. And then we don't.

Dr. Mark Hyman (95:42)

He's this, he's that. He did this, he did that.

Adam Carolla (95:45)

We don't care anymore. All right, we got one more.

Jason Mayhem Miller (95:48)

Yeah, I got one more. The satire publication the Onion buys Alex Jones infowars at auction with Sandy Hook's family's backing.

Adam Carolla (95:58)

They bought it.

Jason Mayhem Miller (95:59)

They bought it? Yeah.

Adam Carolla (96:00)

How do you buy it?

Jason Mayhem Miller (96:02)

Well, because he owes more than $1 billion in defamation judgments against them. If you remember, there was a huge trial where he, you know, sat on the stand and had to take shit from the prosecutor about the fact that he said that the hand. The Sandy Hook elementary school shooting was false flag. It was crisis actors. There was.

Adam Carolla (96:28)

I don't. You know what I don't get, though? I'm not defending him, but aren't you allowed to just say whatever the fuck you want?

Jason Mayhem Miller (96:35)

That was his. That was his defense, was that he's just on an entertainment show. But the fact that he played it as a news show and defended himself as giving the true news worked against. Because he can't just go and talk gibberish if you're saying you're a part of a news show.

Adam Carolla (96:55)

Right? And then the damages would be. The family of the deceased kids would say they were. By the way, everybody's threatened online now, like you. Everyone is just.

Jason Mayhem Miller (97:07)

No, but they Went a step further. Some of his fans would go and chase. Like, chase down these people.

Adam Carolla (97:13)

Yeah.

Jason Mayhem Miller (97:14)

And go to their house and say that you're a crisis actor. You're fake. And it really caused them a lot of distress. You know, I was kind of like all my buddies at the time that this was happening, I watched all my buddies become indoctrinated by Jones. And I watched them go from regular kind of dudes to just hardcore conspiracy. They believed every conspiracy, including the New Time, which that was, to me, a road too far. I was like, yo, you guys are going fucking crazy. Those people really died. Like, those kids died.

Adam Carolla (97:48)

Well, even if he was able to successfully convince America that Sandy Hook didn't happen, there's still Columbine and countless other school shootings. So what do we. It's almost like saying the side of your car is caved in. But I'm going to convince you you never got into an accident, but there's still accidents. You're trying to. Like, what do you. All right, there's one out of something that's happened 50 times. So why is that even important to him? And. Or the people that follow him? And to disavow one school shooting in a sea of school shootings. What does that prove? Like, all right, that one was a hoax. Then there are all the others that weren't hoaxes. So what's the end game? What are we trying to get people to do here?

Jason Mayhem Miller (98:45)

No, his endgame. I mean, and I remember it was not in this article, but I remember that watching the show, his whole strategy was that the fact that they're gonna put bigger gun laws on us. That was his angle. His angle was, oh, he just did this so they can take away your guns. And really, it just buys back upon itself because Alex Jones was selling tons of supplements. He had a, like a go bag. Like, he had a whole, like, Alex Jones industrial complex of. They watched his show all in. The show is very entertaining. You know, he's yelling about the turn of the frogs game, and he would just. It was entertaining as hell. And he would got these guys locked in and sell so much merch that it made billions of dollars. So now he's has to sell it all off. The Sandy Hooks families, yeah, they. They're getting something back from this, finally.

Adam Carolla (99:43)

Well, I'd be remiss if I didn't bring up at this point, we still have a handful of don't do your best, do my best T shirts say available.

Jason Mayhem Miller (99:50)

All right, buy one now. Promo code mayhem for 10% off.

Adam Carolla (99:56)

Yeah, and onion, if you're listening, you know, have a cup of coffee. I'll listen to what you have to say.

Dr. Mark Hyman (100:03)

Sure.

Adam Carolla (100:03)

Yeah.

Dawson (100:05)

All right.

Adam Carolla (100:05)

Sorry. Let's see. Dr. Mark Hyman is supposed to be joining us in a couple of few, but he's not on yet. But he's a doctor, so I'm going to guess he's prompted. Do you have another story?

Jason Mayhem Miller (100:20)

No stories. Yeah, we're done with that.

Adam Carolla (100:22)

Alex Jones, I think I'm going to bid ado to Angelo. Or actually, you can hang out. The doctor's probably going to tell you a bunch of shit you don't want to hear.

Dr. Mark Hyman (100:34)

Yeah.

Adam Carolla (100:38)

I'm loosely basing that on just.

Dr. Mark Hyman (100:41)

Keep listening to the doctors.

Adam Carolla (100:44)

But he's going to zoom in. So why don't we all hang out? Okay, we'll all hang out.

Dr. Mark Hyman (100:50)

Sure.

Adam Carolla (100:50)

And we'll talk to Doc. We'll get you all coached up. We'll do that right after this. Hey, it's Adam Carolla from the Adam Carolla Show. Betonline is the world's most trusted betting platform and your number one source for everything sports betting. Betonline has every stat, every matchup, and even live odds and spreads to bet on during the games for pro and college games. With the largest catalog of odds on everything from football, mlb, playoff, NHL, NBA, and even political prop bets, Betonline has it all. And as if that's not enough, Betonline also has the best odds and info on mma. Professional boxing too. When the game's over, head on over to Betonline's online casino and get in on a game of blackjack or poker or unwind with one of their 150 plus slot games. Head to the website today to get in on the action with America's most trusted site for online wagering. Bet online. Bet online. The game starts here.

Angela Siroukis (102:00)

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Adam Carolla (102:30)

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Angela Siroukis (103:50)

Adam Got something on your mind you need to talk about? Forget texting. Just call up a friend so you can hear a voice. It might be old school, but it helps. This healthy suggestion is brought to you by Regents Blue Blue Cross Blue Shield of Oregon. Together we help.

Adam Carolla (104:12)

It's time to check Adam's voicemail. Hey Adam, this is Paul from Coeur d'Alene, Idaho.

Dr. Mark Hyman (104:21)

Just want to say I made a.

Adam Carolla (104:24)

Leek and broccolini quiche.

Dr. Mark Hyman (104:26)

It was awesome. Get it on.

Adam Carolla (104:30)

You can leave us a message at 888-634-1744. Dr. Mark Hyman is joining us. He has a podcast, the Doctor's Pharmacy with Mark Hyman, MD. Available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts and more. Angelo and Jason are with us. Dr. Mark, if you hear other voices in this conversation, good to speak to you.

Dawson (104:56)

Great to see you and good to talk to you, too. Thanks for having me.

Adam Carolla (105:00)

So I think you're on sort of the same page as our friend Vinny torture and Dr. Drew Pinsky and many other people that are saying, you know, keep it kind of keto and stay away from the carbs. And I think we've all signed off on the, you know, eat the burger, not the bun part of life. And that's now I hate the burger, not the bun.

Dawson (105:22)

I'm going to use that.

Adam Carolla (105:23)

It's been accepted and we understand it. We still can't discipline ourselves enough to do it, but we understand it. But then you start getting into a nuance thing, which is vegetables, nuts, fruits. You know, I talk to a lot of people that are eating like bananas and pineapple and they're going, it's fruit. And I go, yeah, yeah, no, you're supposed to eat blueberries and apples, but you're not supposed to eat that. And they go, hey man, it's fruit. I go, hey man, you're still going to get fat.

Dawson (105:54)

But yeah, apple juice is fruit. No, that's not, that's not going to work.

Adam Carolla (105:57)

What are, what are the do's and don'ts in the fruit and then the vegetable department?

Dawson (106:03)

Well, first of all, you know, eating well is not complicated. And the food industry makes us deliberately confused by giving us competing messages. And the truth is that at the end of the day, it's sort of what Michael Poland says, eat food, mostly plants, not too much. Right. And so I think our diet by volume should be vegetables, non starchy vegetables. So anything that's not like a potato basically or super starchy vegetables. Sweet potatoes are okay, but all those are fine. And you can get unlimited refills on veggies. There's no limit on that. You can have 40 pounds of vegetables if you want every day.

Adam Carolla (106:42)

Is a sweet potato. A sweet potato is quite a bit better than a regular baked potatoes.

Dawson (106:48)

Yeah, I mean, yes, generally, yes. But there are also small Peruvian potatoes which are also, you can purple potatoes and the red potatoes, those are more nutrient dense and there's more heirloom potatoes, those are fine. But basically any kind of vegetable, colorful, non starchy vegetables, you can have unlimited refills. It's great in terms of fruit, you want to be smart. Like you said, pineapple, bananas are not your staple. They could have occasionally or grapes, but stick with the berries, stick with apples, stick with kiwis, stick with low sugar fruits and those are much better for you. Lots of good fats, olive oil, avocados, nuts and seeds. Depending on your genetics and metabolism, you can consume plenty of like even saturated fat for some people, but some people can't tolerate it. And then, you know, animal protein is actually, believe it or not, good for you. Despite what a lot of people believe is a small cohort of vegans that are very loud, but unfortunately, you know, they're, they're, they're not going to be in terms of the data reflecting what the science says. And you look at patients, in fact, you know, I co founded a company called Function Health and it's startling to see the amount of nutritional Deficiencies we see in the population and especially in vegans we've seen in our cohort of patients. You know, they're deficient omega 3 fats and vitamin D and zinc in iron and, and in. In certain. In certain nutrients that are really important for health. And, and these are things. Iodine, for example, because you're not getting that from, you know, fish or seafood. So we we through our for a comprehensive testing platform which allows people to access their own data on their own biology. For it's like $1.37 a day, basically you go to functional.com and you can learn about it. But essentially it's allowing us to see the amount of sickness in the population and the automatabolic dysfunction. And so you really want to be smart about what you're eating. And animal protein actually provides lots of iron and lots of antioxidants and minerals and vitamins and also protein, which we need as we get older for building muscle. Because muscle is the main thing we need to keep as we get older. Otherwise we get in a metabolic crisis. And so you need about a gram per pound of ideal body weight of protein, 0.7 to a gram, depending on how active you are. And it's far more than most people are getting. It's far more than dietary guidelines say, which are basically to prevent a deficiency dise like you see in Africa, not actually for optimal health. And so, you know, if you have lots of good fats, you have lots of good protein, you have lots of good veggies and fruit, lots of nuts and seeds like that should be your diet. And whole grains are fine if you have small amounts. Beans are fine if you have small amounts. But you know, it can be also very starchy if you have to be careful of that.

Adam Carolla (109:25)

How big a issue is all the seed oil that seems to have found its way into every product. And I'm sad to say that even the great Paul Newman, when you look at his salad dressing, the olive oil and vinegar Italian dressing, you read the back, it's sunflower oil, olive oil and vinegar. Like it is in everything that is made, has some sort of seed oil in it. And you have to get out your jeweler's loop. Like if you buy mayonnaise that says made with avocado oil, turn it around. Cause it'll say avocado oil, safflower oil and then egg yolks. Like it's crazy, right?

Dawson (110:11)

It's crazy. I think, you know, I like to think of evolutionary. What did we eat as human beings? And if you Know, if we didn't eat, you know, 152 pounds of sugar a year, it's probably not a good idea for us to be doing that. But that's what we're doing. And that's why our metabolic system is in our bodies is so broken. Same thing with oils. You know, 10% of our calories is soybean oil. You know, a hundred years ago it was almost nothing.

Adam Carolla (110:35)

Nothing.

Dawson (110:36)

It's gone up a thousand percent. And they're not inherently bad, right? If you're eating nuts, if you're eating sunflower seeds, if you're eating soybeans, if you're eating certain seeds, that's fine. You're getting Omega 6 from those, that's fine. If you're refining them through processes that require lots of heat, that oxidize the oils, that use deodorizers, decolorants that have hexane in them, I think they're problematic. And you know that you can get forms of these oils that you can use at home that are expeller press, cold press, that are organic, that don't have a lot of glyphosate on them. But, you know, canola oil used to be called rapeseed oil. That was a terrible name. So they changed the name to canola oil.

Adam Carolla (111:20)

Right.

Dawson (111:20)

But, you know, and, but it's highly sprayed with these pesticides and glyphosate or herbicides and those, those are harmful to human health. So I would say I don't include those as staples. I'm not fanatic. If I'm going to a restaurant, I'm not like going to say I'm not going to eat here because they make it with this. Now, I definitely don't eat fried foods because they're all fried in those oils and they're highly oxidized. I think, I think we should be not eating ultra processed food. And if you don't ultra processed food, you're not going to be getting these things. And if you cook with them at home and they're in the forms that are, you know, expelled press, use them a little bit to stir fry a sesame oil, I don't think that's a problem.

Adam Carolla (111:54)

Well, I think if you distilled our sort of modern age into from what it was to, you know, to what it is, if you just use the example of. And you have to be around long enough to see the kind of meat is murder thing. And I grew up with a kind of hippie mom, so I got a front row seat to the stupidity and insanity and the Sort of indoctrination, because it became like a religion for folks. And at some point, McDonald's stopped doing their fries and the beef tallow. Right. And they started doing it in vegetable oil. So if you would have said to my mom when they made the switch, she would have said, great. A victory. Get all this beef fat out of here, which is poisoning our kids. And put this hearty vet. Everything vegetable was good. So we switched it from the beef to the vegetable, and everyone got fatter. And it turns out the vegetable. Hold on. Is everyone sitting down? Turns out my mom is wrong about something.

Dr. Mark Hyman (112:54)

Right?

Adam Carolla (112:55)

So her streak is alive, even though she isn't. But she was wrong about everything. And we as a society were wrong about everything. We were like, do not eat those eggs for breakfast. Have this hot cereal for breakfast with some brown sugar. And it's like, nope, do not eat that butter. Eat the margarine. It's heart friendly and it's plant based. And we were basically just wrong about everything, right?

Dawson (113:23)

Pretty much. Pretty much, yeah. I remember Fleischmann's margarine. I grew up on that. That are living history. And I think. I think that the truth is we had this view that processing was good, that all these new innovations in food were good, that it was going to help human health, it was going to help us live better lives. It was more convenient. But it was an massive initiative by the food industry to subvert public health and to disintermediate people from their kitchens by insinuating processed food into the American home in every way possible. Betty Crockett was an invention of the food industry. If you know a Betty Crocker cookbook, most of you probably had that at home. Betty Crocker was not a real person. She was a fake person that was supposed to compete with this home EC teacher named Betty, who was promoting healthy food and gardens and teaching mothers to cook and. And raise healthy families. And they're like, no, no, no. We need convenience. So they started putting out. Look at the recipe. You can put one can of cream Campbell's Cream of mushroom soup in your casserole, or add one roll of Ritz crackers to your broccoli, you know, thing. And it's like they sort of slowly would disrupt the kitchen. And now most people don't even actually know how to cook. And I. I've heard that they're now building apartments without even kitchens in them.

Adam Carolla (114:32)

Oh, really?

Dr. Mark Hyman (114:33)

Wow.

Adam Carolla (114:34)

It's terrifying.

Dr. Mark Hyman (114:34)

Yeah.

Dawson (114:34)

In the uk. So, you know, I think. I think we need to take back our kitchens we need to take back our bodies. And, and again this is sort of why I think people need to be empowered with their own health data and their own health information. You know, I, I co founded this company, Function Health and the reason I've done it is that I worked in medicine for 40 years. I don't see it changing fast. I think we need to create a disruptive technology that allows people to access their data's data driven information about what's going on under the hood. Your metabolic health, your nutritional health, your hormonal health, your cardiovascular health and your gut health. All these things you're not being checked by your regular doctor. And you know, we do over 110 initial biomarkers. Normally you get like 19 when you go to your checkup and we're seeing such a disease population like 96% have small cholesterol particles. Something never even checked. I saw this, yes, genetic guy, very, very well known guy he was, had a blood cholesterol of 166, which is perfect like normal. Any doctor would say you're normal, you don't need treatment. But he had over a thousand small particles which means it's extremely high risk for heart disease. And so you're not getting the right information from the current healthcare system. And people need to be trusted with their own data. People are wearing our rings like I am. They need to know just not only what's happening at the surface but under the hood. And that's so empowering for people because it allows them basically have a thousand doctors in their pocket guiding them on how to live healthy lives.

Adam Carolla (115:52)

And how much you know. I know Bobby Kennedy Jr. A little bit. I've done a few of his benefits and went to his birthday party and you know, text back and forth a little bit and he'll be back on this show at some point. He told me he's basically drinking out of a fire hose right now, which I totally understand. But when things, the dust settles a little, he'll come back. There's two parts with a guy like that. One is, I'm so impressed by that guy. So substantial. When you have time to sit in a room like this with him for an hour, you really get an idea for who he really is. And then there's the cartoon media side of him that people buy. I don't think what people understand that when you get to meet these people there's a media cartoon side of them and then there's who they are. That's right. And this notion that, you know, and it's usually people on the right. You know, there's a cartoon version of Trump. There's a cartoon version of Tucker Carlson. There's a cartoon version of Joe Rogan. There's a cartoon version of all of these people, except for when you know them and you spend time with them. You go, oh, shit. There's a cartoon version of Elon Musk where he's some idiot that's just getting a bunch of money and throwing it around. The media who disagrees with these people create a cartoon version of very substantial, bright, and not only bright, educated and patriotic people. They love this country. They're doing what's best for this country. The cartoon version. If they're trying to enrich themselves with their crony buddies, nothing closer could be further from the truth. Truth. So when he's attacked, it's sad. It's sad that smart people buy into it. You know, this vax.

Dawson (117:46)

Now they attack me too. They attack me too.

Adam Carolla (117:49)

Right, right.

Dawson (117:49)

But you know how you tell the pioneers the arrows in their back?

Adam Carolla (117:53)

Right. You wrote a book with him several years ago. But what's your feeling on. It's just. It feels like the government fights us at every turn when we start talking about practicality in health. You know, we just went through Covid. They argued about everything except for taking the vaccine. They argued over everything that didn't profit. Big Pharma. It was an opportunity where they could have said, you know what? If we could shed a few pounds as a nation and start getting healthier, we would have a much better shot. During this pandemic, all they did was talk about what a killer the pandemic was. And we knew that it was disproportionately affecting people that were overweight and people with preexisting conditions. But God forbid you brought it up, if you brought up losing a few pounds and they all turned on you, which is insane. Every other press conference should have been telling America to put down that subway sub.

Dawson (118:53)

I agree.

Adam Carolla (118:54)

But now we have Kennedy. So what are our hopes?

Dawson (118:59)

Well, listen, I've been working in this field for a long time, fighting this fight. I wrote a book called Food Fix. How to. How to, you know, save our health, our economy and our communities and our planet one bite at a time. And I laid out from field to fork the problems with our food system and how to fix it from what individuals can do to what communities can do, to what businesses can do, but more importantly, to what policymakers can do. And I think we're at this historic moment where we can see some Significant policy change across the government agencies that have to do with health. Right now we don't have a healthcare system. We have an illness industrial complex. We have a system that profits off of people being sicker and using more services and using more medications. That needs to stop. We need to use food as medicine. We need to reimburse for food as medicine. We need to change what's in our food supply. We should stop the government from paying for food that we know is killing people. You know, I think if I were king, you know, now was advising the current administration, I would say, you know, anything that the government has its hand in around food, food needs to be guided by one single principle. That this food is going to promote health and well being of our citizens, that it's not going to kill them. So why are we paying $12 billion a year for soda, for the, for the food stamp program or SNAP? Why are we the number one source of profit for Coca Cola, the U.S. government from our SNAP dollars? It's pop. 20% of their U.S. other profits are from the government of the United States. That's abominable. You know, we need to have school lunches making healthy kids instead of sick kids. Now 40% of kids are awake, 20% are obese. You know, 20% of kids are on SSRIs or antidepressants. You have a thousand percent increase in autism, a rise in add. These are all related to food and these additives, we know this. There's studies in Europe that show clearly a lot of these additives that need to get out of food are causing add. So we really have to revamp from field to fork every one of our policies. And I think Bobby Kennedy is someone who's thinking about this, who understands these problems, who's very controversial. But I think he's maligned and people actually don't listen. Like you said, if you sat and listened to him for an hour, you understand he's not crazy. He's not any backs. He's not promoting things that don't make sense. He wants better science. He wants to get the crap out of our food. He wants to build a regenerative agriculture system. And I don't think anybody can argue with any of those things.

Adam Carolla (121:16)

No, they can't. And then but they do because they buy the, the caricature CNN version of everybody which makes them fucking idiots. Do not watch CNN and have them explain to you who this guy is or who that guy is or don't watch the View and have their. Because they think he's Some guy who's dressing like Napoleon, who's an anti vaxxer and whatever. I hear smart voices, intelligent voices who parrot back the cartoon version of everyone, look into everyone. And by the way, if CNN or the mainstream media is attacking somebody and it could be somebody or it could be Ivermectin, that's your wake up call to look into that person or Ivermectin or whatever it is they're currently attacking, look into it. Maybe they're correct, but I bet you'll find out differently. But the question sort of is, is how much of this is a conspiracy in the sense that you find out like I'm 90, I don't know if.

Dawson (122:28)

It'S a conspiracy, but there's certainly forces that are profiting from making us sick and they're not willing to change unless something's going to. Somebody's going to make them change. And the WHO has basically come out with a whole series of papers on the commercial determinants of health. How multinational and transnational corporations subvert public health and privatize the profits. They socialize the cost and privatize the pop. So we're paying as a society, taxpayers are paying for all this and they're making, making out with the dough that needs to change. And I think right, this is not some left wing or right wing conspiracy theory. This is just the, looking at the data of what's going on. I document, it's all my book food Fix. And I think the, the there's many other scientists around the world that have documented this and I think we're in this moment where this could be a historic change and somebody's go, okay, wait a minute, this has to stop. We have to hold people accountable. Why is there crap in our food that they don't allow in Europe? Why, why do we not have practices for agriculture that restore the ecosystem, the soil and produce more nutrient dense, better food like they do in other countries? Why, why are we having food labels that don't make any sense? Whereas in other countries like the UK and South America and France have clear labeling that makes you know, what you're eating. Is it going to kill you or is it, is it going to, is it going to make you better and healthier? I mean we should, we should have clear information and transparency and clarity. And, and the, and the government honestly has been hijacked by the food industry. I mean this one GMO labeling bill, they spent $192 million to, to defeat the bill to label GMOs and we are the only country other than Syria, which I don't think we want to be in that club that doesn't have GMO labeling. Even Russia and China, which are not known for transparency, label GMOs. So I think this is the power of the food industry, but I think this administration has the potential to stop.

Adam Carolla (124:09)

Yeah. What I'm talking more about is, you know, Dove comes out with the campaign with a bunch of fat chicks and they're underpants going, everybody's healthy. And God forbid you say something and you fat shame or God forbid, Bill Maher suggests people lose a few during COVID and the. And the media turns on him. You know what I mean? Like, are these people propagandists? Are they getting paid? Are they just stooges? Like, like, what is going on? Like, I'll give you an example. You know, Hamas and Israel are going at it, and then the next thing you know, there's a bunch of kids at UCLA and they have the flags of the Palestine or something. And you go, where do all these kids come from? And then how do they. Why are they so concerned? And then you hear some other stories. Someone's paying for them to be bussed in and who's paying for their tents and who's feeding them. And you're like, is there somebody behind this or are these just kids sort of organically? Is there something behind attacking Bill Maher for suggesting people should lose weight or anyone who Fat champion, everyone who said Lizzo should have lost a couple of pounds five years ago was then summarily attacked by society. Or are these all just sort of useful idiots?

Dawson (125:25)

No, I mean, I think we really have this attempt. Attempt to, you know, subvert good information.

Adam Carolla (125:33)

Yes.

Dawson (125:34)

But I, I think that with Bobby Kennedy and some of the other initiatives are happening, hopefully they'll pick the right person for the usda. We can move things forward. You know, the body Positive movement. I understand the rationale for it. You don't want to fat shame somebody. You don't want to blame them for being sick. I, I sat with Francis Collins, who was the director of the nih. I said, why didn't you use Covet as a teacher of my mom moment to get America to focus on nutrition and food? He says, oh, we don't want to blame the victim. I'm like, it's not their fault. They're living in a toxic food environment in a swamp. And it's a food swamp as opposed to a food desert. And that is what's killing Americans. And you owe the country responsibility as Someone who's in charge of its health.

Adam Carolla (126:12)

Well, he's a propagandist fuck up stooge. So fuck that guy is what I.

Dawson (126:17)

Have to say about Francis. I'm.

Adam Carolla (126:19)

Terry's a nice guy who deceived everyone and fucked the nation over. Fuck him.

Dawson (126:24)

Yeah, he's clean out when it comes to nutrition.

Adam Carolla (126:26)

Well, he shouldn't be in charge of stuff is what, is what I'm saying the cartoon version. Jesus Christ.

Dr. Mark Hyman (126:34)

Doc, I want to ask you, I'm listening to everything here. Socioeconomics makes a big difference here, doesn't it? Because we're told what we're supposed to eat, but most people can't afford it. And I think when I say that, what I'm saying is that with the profits of the food companies, you know, and I think the myself being type 2 you were talking about with Adam, you know, pineapple and bananas, I gotta watch all that stuff. But at the same time I think, is it. I'm, I'm asking this question, do most people know what to eat but can't afford it? Is that possible or is it just we're just blinded by labels and stuff?

Dawson (127:13)

That's an amazingly good question. And I. And the answer is that even you, who is very aware of these issues has been brainwashed by the food industry because their messaging is it's too difficult to eat healthy, it's too expensive, it's elitist, it's discriminatory, it's racist. And so let us give you processed food. That is their propaganda. It is not the truth. And the data is very clear on this from data study after study from my experience as well, well, that you can eat well for less. Now you're not going to be having a 70 ribeye that's grass fed, but you can eat whole real food. And I did this with a family in Easley, South Carolina, one of the worst food deserts in America where they were on living on food stamps and disability. A family of five in a trailer never cooked a meal in their life. The mother was 100 plus pounds overweight. The father was on dialysis at 42 from type 2 diabetes. The son was like 16 years old and 50% body fat, which is, you know, you should be 10 to 20. I mean he was on his, basically diabetic. And I showed them how to cook a simple meal. I used a guide from the environmental working group called Good food on a tight Budget. How to eat well for you, well for your wallet and well for the planet. And basically they did it and they lost 200 pounds as a family. In the year the father got a new kidney, lost 45 pounds, the son lost 50, the mother lost 100. It was quite amazing. And all I did was teach them how to cook one meal. They had no idea what they were eating. They thought everything was low fat, it was low, low, it was like Cool Whip. We had no trans fats. It was all this stuff that they were eating was processed and it was just, you know, propaganda from the food industry that makes all these kind of health claims on the label. So and by the way, your diabetes is 100 reversible. If you, if you get a carbohydrate restricted diet or a keto diet, your diabetes would go away, you'd get off all your medications, you wouldn't need insulin. This is from not my opinion. This is data from like Virta and many other peer review published studies in major medical journals showing that this can be done. And I think people don't have the information. So the answer is they don't have the information. And essentially people don't know what's going in their bodies. And again, this is why co founded Function Health to give people the power to understand what's going on in their biology. And people need to know people walking around with all kinds of metabolic stuff, with all kinds of hormonal dysregulation, all kinds of nutritional deficiencies, all kinds of autoimmune inflammatory issues that are treatable. And it's like having a thousand doctors in your pocket. And we, you know, for, I think your audience, we, there's a 500,000 person waiting list, but we provide a code. It's called Adam. You put the code in Adam, functionhealth.com, you use the code Adam, you jump the waitlist. It's quite amazing to learn what's going on in your body.

Adam Carolla (129:47)

I have two thoughts. One is we throw out excuses. The excuses is how much money it costs. It's bullshit. I've said it a million times now. You're not going to want to hear the answer. It's like I used to say, make your own kids lunch. And they'd go, we don't have. Certain families don't have. It's like hard boiled eggs, an apple, nuts. It doesn't cost, it doesn't take too much time. Pot of beans and rice or whatever, it doesn't cost. And don't give me the you don't have money bullshit they hide behind. We don't have enough money. Untrue. Poor people been eating fine that this entire Society, that's what we do now you have to cook it yourself. And it's not, it's not the rib eye, it's the hard boiled egg.

Dawson (130:36)

We were poor, we made cabbage soup. We had cabbage, carrots, onions, with a piece of cheap meat flanking my mom calls like basically short ribs and with a can of tomatoes. And it's a, it's an amazing dish and pennies, but a penny.

Adam Carolla (130:50)

And they also do the low information thing, which I think is bullshit as well, because any 9 year old understands that it's better to eat an apple than a piece of. They understand it, we've just lost our will. It's not that they don't know it. They know it. And a lot of it is labeling and government and misinformation. I get that part of it. But the average American understands that a hard boiled egg is a more nutritious thing to eat than a piece of pizza that has stuffed crust. But we don't want the fucking hard boiled egg. That's the problem. And we understand you're supposed to exercise, eat right, and eat your vegetables and not eat. We understand all of it because every kid knows it by the time they get out of the second grade that the information is not the part that's missing. The money is not the part that's missing. The willpower, delayed gratification. We're in a world where you just dial up GrubHub and it all shows up at your door, that an hour later, that's where you get porn on your phone. That day, that morning, we have lost the will to have willpower. And we have to start working on that aspect of it. Because you can tell everyone till you're blue in the face what to eat. But if they're weak and their constitution is weak and they've lost their willpower, then fuck it, they're going with the pizza and not the hard boiled egg.

Dr. Mark Hyman (132:21)

I was at my friend's house, he has $100,000 kitchen and they have like Del Taco and all the stuff on the island than the kick. They don't use their kitchen. You're 100% right, man.

Adam Carolla (132:30)

But they know what they're supposed to do. That's.

Dr. Mark Hyman (132:34)

Nobody cooks.

Adam Carolla (132:35)

That's what I say.

Dawson (132:36)

Well, people don't know. People don't know. Like I can tell you it's shocking to me how Americans have been disenfranchised from their own kitchen. They don't know how to shop, they don't know how to cook, they don't know how to take care of their bodies. And this is a deliberate action by the food industry as a whole to kind of make. Make their products center of our dinner plate. But they shouldn't be.

Adam Carolla (132:55)

No, I agree. I agree with you. But you take any woman in America and have them figure out that somebody down the street was missing, and they would turn on their laptop and they'd start taking a deep dive into burying bodies at sea. How can a body to decompose using Lyme and stuff like that? They'll become super expert experts sluice in 10 minutes. If they were motivated, if people were motivated. You have a phone. If you're motivated to eat healthy. It's all there. Now we just see the commercial for Taco Bell and we know what we're doing, we just do it. Which is sad mixed with misinformation. But last question for you. For me, the toughest part of the this equation is pasta. I love me some pasta.

Jason Mayhem Miller (133:52)

Yeah.

Adam Carolla (133:52)

Now, there's many things that they tell you is a substitute for, and some of them work, but pasta, when they go, you do the zucchini zoodles. I go, it doesn't work. It doesn't work. You know, they go. And then any.

Dawson (134:11)

Yes, you've been to Europe, right? Right?

Adam Carolla (134:13)

Yes.

Dawson (134:14)

Okay, first of all, the wheat is different, right? It's not dwarf wheat, so it has far less starch. It doesn't raise your blood sugar as much. Two, it's not sprayed with glyphosate. Three, it's got a lot less gluten. And you hear this all the time. People in Europe, when they go there from America, they can eat gluten or pasta where they can't eat here, Right. And second, if you look at the portion, it's this big. It's not like a giant. I mean, I went to the restaurant the other day, plate of pasta, it was like a mountain, like this.

Adam Carolla (134:41)

Wow. I'd hate going out to eat with you. I'd hate it.

Dawson (134:44)

No, but like a pasta serving in Europe is like a little tiny bit of pasta, a few ounces of pasta, and that's a kind of a first appetizer dish. That's fine. It's just these massive amounts for eating, and when you eat them in a way that's sort of without any. Any protein or fat or anything else, it's going to be a problem. So it depends on what? How you define pasta.

Adam Carolla (135:03)

Well, where would we find the European version of pasta? In America, right?

Dawson (135:08)

In America, Yeah.

Adam Carolla (135:09)

What's it called? Or what should we look for?

Dawson (135:13)

Well, I think you got to look at the, when you go by pasta, this is made in Italy. It's from European wheat. It's like, it says it on the label. So you gotta get. It's the stuff that's made in America. So I want to make sure. And, and they just have a little bit.

Adam Carolla (135:26)

So don't get the stuff made in Kansas City. Get the stuff made in America. All right, Doctor, let me give you a plug here. The Doctors Pharmacy with Mark Hyman, MD. It's available on Spotify, Apple podcasts and more. And website, I don't see one here.

Dawson (135:46)

But if you'd like to meet Dr. Hyman.com.

Adam Carolla (135:48)

Yeah. Dr. Hyman.com drheiman.com well, keep the good battle up. But I must say, with Bobby Kennedy in place now, I finally have a little glimmer of hope that this is something we can at least start a dialogue on.

Dawson (136:07)

Yes, that's.

Adam Carolla (136:08)

I know.

Dawson (136:09)

I think it's going to happen. I think it's happening. I think it's happening.

Adam Carolla (136:12)

Thank you, Dr. Hyman.

Dawson (136:14)

And yeah, I agree.

Adam Carolla (136:17)

I appreciate you stopping by. Come back anytime you like. Me, I'm going to be at Levity live in Oxnard 29 November, doing the stand up there and then then off to Arena Theater in Texas and Houston doing some shows there as well. Angelo dates coming up. Should I go. Should we go to your website?

Dr. Mark Hyman (136:41)

Go to the website funnygreek.com oh, funnygreek.com funny.com because it's arukas.com but I say funny Greek.

Adam Carolla (136:49)

Yeah, this is better.

Dr. Mark Hyman (136:50)

It's better.

Adam Carolla (136:52)

Starts with a T. With a T. It's a tsa. Yeah. Yeah. What do we got? Manuka? I had some Manuka honey yesterday, by the way.

Jason Mayhem Miller (137:01)

Yeah. And. Yeah, And I'm out to Indiana to do a seminar next week.

Adam Carolla (137:05)

All right. All right. So now till next time. Seven for Dr. Hyman and Angelo and Mayhem saying, Mahala, pick your phone and leave us a voicemail at 8886341744 and then get tickets to see Adam Carolla at Adam Carolla.com.

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Adam Carolla (138:13)

Same.

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Adam Carolla (138:35)

Hey.

Dr. Mark Hyman (138:35)

Never.