Dan Soder + Gilbert Gottfried (Carolla Classics)

Summary

Adam Carolla Show – “Dan Soder + Gilbert Gottfried” (Carolla Classics) January 9, 2026
PodcastOne / Carolla Digital

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Overview:

This “Carolla Classics” episode features two of the Adam Carolla Show’s most memorable guest segments: an in-studio chat with comedian Dan Soder, and a rare, insightful Gilbert Gottfried interview. Host Adam Carolla is joined by longtime collaborators Gina Grad and Brian Bishop, along with fitness expert Vinny Tortorich in the Dan Soder section. The episode is marked by Carolla’s signature blend of irreverent humor, cultural commentary, personal anecdotes, and unfiltered conversations about comedy, health, and the absurdities of modern social sensibilities.

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Episode Structure & Timestamps

Part 1: Dan Soder + Vinny Tortorich Segment
(02:13 – 63:03)

Part 2: Gilbert Gottfried Segment
(95:30 – 150:53)

Note: Timestamps below are MM:SS as per the transcript.

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Key Discussions and Insights

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Part 1: Dan Soder + Vinny Tortorich

Opening Banter & Handball

(02:13 – 02:51)

• Adam and the crew greet Vinny Tortorich, with playful ribbing about his non-comedic credentials.
• Vinny talks about his supplement routine and his shift to working almost exclusively with high-profile clients via phone consultations.

The Paradox of Howie Mandel's Germaphobia

(03:20 – 07:35)

• Hilarious recounting of Howie Mandel’s inconsistent germaphobia: won’t shake hands, but shares communal popcorn with everyone.
  • “He looked at me and I said, ‘Howie, I don’t get it...’ He said, ‘You don’t get it. I’m crazy.’ And I just thought—nah, I do. I get it now.” — Adam Carolla (07:27)

Diet Calls, Food Addictions, and the Truth About Fruit

(07:44 – 14:41)

• Vinny discusses his “no sugars, no grains” (NSNG) consulting, stories about callers who insist they’re “doing it perfectly” while ignoring hidden sugars, especially in fruit.
• Rankings and myth-busting about healthy vs. unhealthy fruits.
  • “It should be vegetables, and fruit is the way we should look at life.” — Vinny (10:37)
  • Stone fruits, bananas, tropical fruits: worse for glycemic impact.
  • Avocados, olives, berries, and cherries: best options.

Adam’s Reflections on Generational Drinking & Therapy

(14:41 – 19:08)

• Adam muses about his grandmother’s red wine habit and his mother’s penchant for self-help meetings, reflecting on family psychology and motivations.

Arm Wrestling, Over-the-Top Movie, and Ref Stereotypes

(20:38 – 23:51)

• Gina cues up a memory from the Stallone film “Over the Top,” leading to a long riff on arm-wrestling apparatus, fitness, and the “scariest” referees: “Arm wrestling ref is the scariest guy on the planet.” (23:51)

Screen Time, Youth Motivation, and Gardening Games

(23:51 – 30:56)

• Call-in about kids’ lack of interest in driving, Adam’s theory about overstimulation.
• Adam pitches (satirically) the idea of a gardener’s Olympics, poking fun at landscaping and blue-collar competitions.

Noise Pollution: Leaf Blowers & First-World Problems

(30:56 – 32:29)

• Rant on environmental and auditory nuisances of leaf blowers, dust, and motorbike maintenance.

Profiling Motorcyclists & Safety Over “Cool”

(32:29 – 41:22)

• Stories about motorcycle culture and safety, the psychology of helmet/vest color vs. machismo, and Vinny’s decision to quit riding due to distracted drivers and texting.

Quick Nutrition Quiz: “Fit or Bullshit” with Vinny

(41:43 – 52:15)

• Vinny hosts a quiz on omega-3 sources (best: salmon), diet best practices (“low-calorie diets don’t work long-term”), and protein quality (egg is “the perfect food”).
  • “The egg is one of the few foods where you get every amino acid that man has actually discovered at this point.” — Vinny Tortorich (52:03)

Eggs, Nutrition Science & Public Illusions

(52:15 – 59:09)

• Extended riff on how the public gets misled about egg and fat consumption, with Adam launching into a signature tirade about feelings vs. facts in food and science.
  • “Could people stop weighing in with their horrible thoughts?” — Adam Carolla (55:44)

The War on French Fries: Tallow vs. Vegetable Oil

(59:09 – 61:00)

• Vinny and Adam blame the “weaponized” French fry epidemic on misguided health policy and the removal of beef tallow from fast food.

Dan Soder Joins – Comedy Origin Story

(63:04 – 76:33)

• Dan details growing up in Aurora, Colorado, being part of the “Comedy Central generation,” and sneaking into clubs at 16 to see Dave Chappelle.

  • “Was Chappelle magical?”
    “Yeah, it was insane. He shut down two hecklers… I was like, that’s insane that he was that quick.” — Dan Soder (66:51, 66:55)

• Reflections on the terror and humiliation of open mic nights and the hard edge of open mic organizers (67:39–69:23).

Culture Rants: Subways, Brown-Bag Beers & Energy Drinks

(71:21 – 74:50)

• Adam and Dan riff on New York subways, public drinking, and how beverage container variety today helps drinkers fly under the radar.

Jamie Foxx and the Hierarchy of Male Talent

(84:05 – 85:19)

• “Is Jamie Foxx the most talented man on the planet?”
  “He’s up there... Timberlake can do singing and dancing better, but Jamie has a wider array of weapons. Timberlake could never do standup.” — Dan Soder / Adam / Brian (84:18–85:14)

Cultural Observations: Bachelor Parties in Space & the Perils of Delegating

(85:33 – 91:00)

• Fantasies and logistics of space tourism (Drunk Bachelor Parties in the Stratosphere).
• Hilarious anecdote about Lee Majors entrusting Ryan O’Neal with Farrah Fawcett’s fidelity.

Boxing Fandom & The Canelo-Triple G Hype

(91:00 – 93:06)

• Dan and Adam geek out over anticipation for the Canelo Alvarez vs. Gennady “Triple G” Golovkin fight.

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Part 2: Gilbert Gottfried Interview

Life in Comedy & The Reluctant Documentary Subject

(95:30 – 99:41)

• Gilbert discusses how he inadvertently agreed to a documentary and jokes about being a letdown for the filmmaker.
  • “He said, ‘I’ve always dreamt of doing a Gilbert Gottfried documentary,’ and I said, ‘Well, you should set your dreams higher.’” — Gilbert Gottfried (97:16)

Gilbert’s MTV & Hefner Roast Memories

(99:41 – 101:16)

• Looking back at MTV’s golden era and the post-9/11 Hugh Hefner roast.
  • “Who here dare do a 9/11 [joke]?” — (100:54)

Infamy over the Aflac Scandal & Misunderstood Comedy

(101:23 – 115:13)

• Adam and Gilbert revisit the tweets that got him fired from Aflac.
  • Whoopi Goldberg and “The View” reading his jokes on air—audience members reflexively laugh even after being warned it’s “inappropriate.”
  • “People have forgotten the term… a fcking joke.”* — Gilbert Gottfried (104:36)
  • Discussion of the economics of stand-up vs. “Kush gigs” like advertising voice-overs.

Family, Siblings & The Roots of Showbiz

(115:13 – 119:20)

• Gilbert talks about losing his older sister, her influence on his comedy career, and their upbringing in Brooklyn.

Childhood Bullying & the Changing Culture of Masculinity

(119:20 – 128:59)

• Jokes about being the “muse” for bullying.
• Adam’s and Gilbert’s hilariously “anti-evolution” take on how men have become gossipers: “We’re just still going [towards the feminine]. Eventually we’ll be one sex: no sex.” (128:59)

Gossip, Social Outrage & Modern Lynch Mobs

(130:38 – 132:09)

• Gilbert: “The Internet makes me feel sentimental for old time lynch mobs. Because they had to go out and get their hands dirty.” (130:56)
• Adam riffs on Twitter activism and the ease of public shaming.

The Blurring Line Between Real Villains and Social "Villains"

(133:36 – 134:21)

• Gottfried: “If someone does something really bad, it just fades in with everybody else who’s a villain.”

The Paradox of Outrage for Others

(135:26 – 136:06)

• “No one who was victimized by the tsunami was outraged. People were outraged for them.” — Brian Bishop

Comedy, Context & the Ever-Moving Line

(139:35 – 143:29)

• The catch-22 of hiring “shock jocks” and punishing them for saying shocking things.
  • “They’ll never tell you what the line is. They’ll just know it when they hear it.” — Gina Grad (143:56)
• Speculation on culture shifting back toward irreverence in response to enforced politeness.

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• Adam on Howie Mandel’s quirks:
  “He won’t shake anyone’s hand, but he’s offering everyone popcorn. He said, ‘You don’t get it. I’m crazy.’” (07:27)
• Dan Soder’s open mic horror recall:
  “I kept apologizing… I just bailed. It’s the most defeated I’ve ever been in my life.” (68:14)
• Adam on Jamie Foxx’s talents:
  “I feel like nobody can touch him because who would be able to… who’s the only other person that could cuckle Tom Cruise? Jamie Foxx.” (85:11)
• Gilbert on why jokes go over the line:
  “People have forgotten the term… a fcking joke.”* (104:36)
• Gilbert on internet outrage and lynch mobs:
  “The Internet makes me feel sentimental for old time lynch mobs. At least they had to get their hands dirty.” (130:56)

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Highlighted Timestamps

• [07:27] — Adam’s punchline on Howie Mandel’s logic: “I’m crazy.”
• [23:51] — Adam: “Arm wrestling ref is the scariest guy on the planet.”
• [41:43] — On nutrition trends: “Is that health advice making you fit or fat?”
• [55:44 / 104:36] — Adam/Gilbert: Rants on feelings-vs-facts; “People have forgotten the term… a f*cking joke.”
• [66:55] — Dan Soder: “Chappelle... shut down two hecklers... he was that quick.”
• [84:52] — Jamie Foxx v. Timberlake debate.
• [97:16] — Gilbert: “You should set your dreams higher.”
• [130:56] — Gilbert: “Sentimental for old lynch mobs... they had to burn calories.”

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Tone & Style

• Energetic, caustically observant, peppered with irreverent asides and fast-paced riffing.
• Adam’s rants swing between personal stories, pop culture theorizing, and protest against modern cultural trends.
• Guest segments draw out candid, humorous vulnerability—Dan Soder’s comedy origin story and Gilbert Gottfried’s exposing the contradictions in “cancel culture.”

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Summary

For listeners seeking a classic dose of the Adam Carolla Show’s long-form, freewheeling style, this episode delivers: from food myth-busting and fruit rankings to deep dives on comedy, public shaming, and the shifting boundaries of what can be joked about in America. Dan Soder and Gilbert Gottfried bring contrasting comedic styles, but together with the regulars, they create an episode at once hilarious, insightful, and a genuine time-capsule of comedy culture in the 2010s and 2020s.

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Useful For:

• Fans of comedy, stand-up culture, and media debate.
• Anyone curious about the intersection of nutrition trends and pop culture.
• Listeners interested in the psychology behind laughter, outrage, and American social mores.

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End of Summary

Transcript

[Giovanni]

Welcome to Corolla Classics. I'm your whole superfan Giovanni. This is the podcast. We play the best moments, highlights and fan selected clips from all 16 years of the Adam Corolla Show. We have a companion podcast titled Coral Classics. You can find the ad free archives exclusively available through Podcast one. If you'd like to access the ad free archives of the Adam Carolla show, The Adam and Dr. Drew show and wish to get access to the brand new podcast Beat it out, make sure to check out Adam Corolla's [e-mail] and if you'd like to request a clip please email us classicsamcarolla.com We've been getting a lot of requests for clips from Loveline and the Adam Carolla show that aired on kayla sex from 2006 to 2009. That immediately pretty much seat of the podcast. While we can't play any of that content here in Cruella Classics unless it was actually played on the Adam Crolla show podcast and the commentary was done over it. So there are some select clips from time to time you will hear. Other than that we can't like place in those infamous moments. Infamous quote unquote holocaust call where they talk to a phone sex operator with Tom Arnold. That comes up a lot. The Ann Coulter stuff from the morning show in 2006 comes up a lot overall. The whole entire 2006 cast a the morning show comes up for people who do want to hear that stuff and want updates on it. I do remaster both of those shows completely separately from this as a labor of love. If you want to check out and get updates on how to get access to all this stuff for free, go to patreon.com Giovanni you don't need to sign up. It's just a blog I use to update whenever I'm remastering these shows from the best quality files I can find. So if you want that stuff, it's out there but can't play it. Corolla Classics now onto the fun stuff. Onto the clips coming first day we have Adam Corolla show 2154. This episode comes to us from 2017. It's featuring Dan Soder, the great Vinny Torres, Gina Grad of course, and Brian Bishop. Dan Soder's really good on air with Adam. You might best know him from his time on the bonfire with Big J Okerson. He now hosts his own podcast Just Called Soder. He has a killer HBO hour and he was a co host of the Podcast six and jump during the pandemic with Big J Okerson and Ari Shafir. Really cool episode. Hope you guys enjoy.

[Adam Carolla]

Turning the corner and heading into year number nine. God bless you. So share the show and tell a friend. Good day, Gina Grad.

[Gina Grad]

Good day to you.

[Adam Carolla]

Handball.

[Vinny Tortorich]

Brian, you realize I'm not a comedian. Oh, Jesus.

[Adam Carolla]

Vinny Tortorich, everybody. Standard disclaimer in the studio.

[Brian Bishop]

This might be someone's first episode.

[Vinny Tortorich]

Listening.

[Adam Carolla]

We'll play the game with Vinnie in just a couple. A few. Vinny, what's new with you? I took your supplements this morning. I don't know. With Howie Mandel. I don't know who you're working with. Are you allowed to talk about it? Are you doing a lot of phone consultations? What's going on?

[Vinny Tortorich]

I'm doing a ton. You know, I don't have time to see clients anymore. I've finally worked my way out of being a trainer, and the only clients I see are clients who can't see me. Rock stars have to go back on the road now. They can't just sit home and collect checks.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Vinny Tortorich]

So I'm able to keep those guys on my schedule because I never see them anyway.

[Adam Carolla]

Right, right.

[Vinny Tortorich]

So in Howie, we're going in two different directions all the time. I thought about him the other night because I usually run into him at this barbecue place we all go to.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, Wood Ranch. Right?

[Vinny Tortorich]

Wood Ranch.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Vinny Tortorich]

So while I was having a burger, I was like, wait, it's true.

[Adam Carolla]

You'll back me up. That Howie Mandel happily eats popcorn out of a lid of a shoebox that he scoops up from a barrel out by the front door and walks around and eats it himself and offers it to anybody around. The germaphobe happily engages in that behavior. Yes, yes.

[Vinny Tortorich]

And people would always ask me about Howie. They would say, well, when you train him, do you. You must touch him sometimes, you know, in the intimate part of our training session, you know, of course, but not in general. And they would say, well, what if you brushed against him? Would he just lose his shit?

[Brian Bishop]

Fire you on the spot?

[Vinny Tortorich]

Yeah, it was like, you're gone. Bring in my next boy. You know, it's. No, it's literally he has a problem with the palm of your hand touching any part of the palm of his hand.

[Brian Bishop]

Totally reasonable.

[Adam Carolla]

But you could drop an elbow on him from an upper turnbuckle or something, and he wouldn't have an issue with it.

[Vinny Tortorich]

No problem whatsoever, from what I could tell. I mean, I was around him for a long time. And you're right. If he's eating popcorn, you can blow a snot rocket in it and he's going to take another hit.

[Adam Carolla]

I just couldn't. I was flummoxed that he. And I've told this story before, but it always stuck with me. But it stuck with me because it was funny, insightful, and true. When he was offering everybody backstage before we did a show the popcorn that he got when he was out to dinner, and as he offered it to everybody, I said, hold on, Howie. What about the germs? What sense does it make popcorn? Popcorn is a perfect thing. Like, we go ballistic over toilet seats. We just go ballistic. It's a perfect metaphor for us and just sort of how crazy we are.

[Gina Grad]

Do you know it's dirtier than a toilet seat?

[Adam Carolla]

Basically? No, but our stupid wiring, which is. Everyone I know would let their kid go play at a house with a swimming pool. But if someone said, there's a pistol and it's on a top shelf in the bedroom, well, you're not going to that house. Although, of course, statistically, they're more apt to drink, drown in the pool. Toilet seats turns out cleaner than most computer keyboards and most cell phones. Popcorn. We happily engage in this behavior. Someone's throwing a Super bowl party. They take a huge wooden bowl, they fill it with popcorn. Not only do people put their hands into it, they then put their hands in their mouth. It's not like, hey, where's my popcorn fork? No, it is in. Where's the popcorn dispenser? Where's my pest popcorn? You put it, and it's literally impossible. Effectively eat it without putting the tips of your fingers in your. Now, we live in a world where if somebody grabs a tortilla chip, dips in a little guacamole, busts it off in their mouth, even if they don't even touch the end, but just sort of break it off and then double dip. Oh, boy. We got a moral issue with that.

[Brian Bishop]

Yes, Seinfeld.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Either way, it exists. And people. People freak out over it. The popcorn is handful, hand in the mouth, and then multiple handfuls, just. And multiple people just walking by, grabbing a handful, coming by, grab. No problemo with that. Big problemo with many other things. Thus, my thing isn't to come down on people who eat popcorn that way. My thing is to ignore everything else. Because the most prolific way disease could spread would be this. It doesn't seem to be hurting. You never hear about, oh, the big. The carnage from the pop, you know, 1827 Irish popcorn, where the whole village was wiped out because of the. Because they were watching a soccer tournament and somebody popped some corn and everyone's hand got in. So ignore everything else. But when Howie Mandel looked at me and I said, howie, I don't get it. It's so inconsistent. You won't shake anyone's hand, but you're offering everyone popcorn. He said, you don't get it. I'm crazy. And I just thought, nah, I do. I get it now.

[Gina Grad]

You get a satisfying answer.

[Adam Carolla]

That's a very good answer for why he's engaging in these two behaviors simultaneously. All right, so phone consultations.

[Vinny Tortorich]

Yeah. You know, I started doing those three or four years ago when the podcast started. The book got popular, and people said, hey, I'll pay you anything to get on the phone. So I just came up with the price and started doing it. And it's now I literally do it for two or three hours every day. You know, I would just. I block out those three hours, and I talk to people.

[Adam Carolla]

How much of it is a like? Well, there's a lot of stuff where we've done with Vinnie, which is, oh, the kids want this kind of cereal. What do you think? Take a picture of it, send me the box or whatever. But how much of it is. Can I eat this? Or what about that? Versus just a pure sponsorship, like AA program, you know, like, hey, man, right. I'm standing at a Winchell's Donut right now, and I'm starting to sweat.

[Vinny Tortorich]

Usually it's not that. Although I will get people from Aohau or Oahau, which is basically Alcoholics Anonymous for overeaters.

[Adam Carolla]

Overeaters, Right.

[Vinny Tortorich]

So I will get those people. And there is some talking off the ledge and that kind of thing, but in general, here's what I get. It'll be, I heard you on the Adam Carolla Show. I read your book. I follow you on Twitter. You answer a thousand questions. I do NS and G, no sugars, no grains, 100%. I do it perfectly. At first, I lost 20 pounds, and then it just stopped dry. And I'll say, okay, take me through an average day. Not today, not yesterday. Just take me through an average day. They'll go, okay, but I want to warn you, I do perfect. No sugars, no grains. Now, every morning, I start with the eggs, just like you, because I know you eat eggs. So I have eggs, and so I'll do some eggs, and I'll do some coffee with heavy cream in it. And then I have a banana and some Oatmeal.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Vinny Tortorich]

Hold up.

[Gina Grad]

I was like, push pause.

[Vinny Tortorich]

And then I'll say. I won't say anything. I'll say, well, take me to lunch. It's like, just like you. I eat meat for lunch. I'll have a salad. I'll have broccoli. I'll have this and that and the whole thing. And then I'll have a couple of snack wells.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. I think the.

[Gina Grad]

Just like you.

[Vinny Tortorich]

Just like me.

[Adam Carolla]

The one that' for people. I think the one that's hard on me is the bananas, the fruit. Like, I can. If you got yourself. You got me some of those Rainier cherries, the big, plump, meaty ones, and you put them in a bowl, and you put 1400 of them in a bowl, there would be 1401 pits. That's right. I would actually produce an extra pit. I would summon an extra pit. You would find next. And if I was watching stirring a.

[Brian Bishop]

Pearl he just produced.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. If I was.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

It'd be culture.

[Gina Grad]

Culture.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I would. There'd be no reason for me to ever stop, as a matter of fact. And everyone had this. It's one of our things where it's, hey, fruits and vegetables. Fruits and vegetables. Not fruits and vegetables. Some vegetables and not so many fruits. Right.

[Vinny Tortorich]

It should be vegetables and fruit is the way we should look at life.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. But people get it back because cherries and papayas and oranges.

[Vinny Tortorich]

Cherries are actually not so bad on a glycemic scale. You see, that's the problem.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, but cherries. Give us the ranking of the ranking. I want fruit. No, I love. I literally. I had this semi retarded conversation in my kitchen the other day, which is. I don't want to waste anything. So at a certain point, I take the sack of cherries, which have been eyeballing me for one week, and I give them to Olga, and I say, take these home, Nanny, and eat them. To which case, Lynette says, I eat those cherries. And I go, well, not these cherries, because this cherry's been sitting there for a week. I like the cherries. Noted. But I don't wanna waste them. They're starting to get shriveled up, and I paid for them. And nobody here. I have no idea. It's the middle of summertime. It's the best food ever. I have no idea what's wrong with the kids. I don't know why, but they're not being eaten, and I'm staring at them, so I must hand them off. But you're saying Cherries is not too bad.

[Vinny Tortorich]

Yeah, if you're grabbing a handful of cherries, you're okay. When you're having a bowl of cherries with nothing else in your stomach. You know, we always go back to that French paradox when we talked about wine two years ago, why the French don't get fat. Well, they have wine and cheese. You know, you have some cheese in there, so you're not getting that same spike on your liver.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Vinny Tortorich]

You know, so if you've had a meal, you've had a piece of steak, or you've had chicken or eggs or whatever.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, I get. I can only have cherries with booze.

[Gina Grad]

Yes. Just a Shirley Temple.

[Adam Carolla]

No, I can have a glass of wine and a bowl of cherries. That's what Vinnie said.

[Vinny Tortorich]

And you want the ranking.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, the ranking, like bananas, is banana the worst?

[Vinny Tortorich]

Bananas are all of the tropical fruit. And banana falls into that category.

[Brian Bishop]

Son of a bitch.

[Vinny Tortorich]

Papayas, pineapple, there's things with desserts. Your liver doesn't know that from a piece of cake.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Vinny Tortorich]

You know, your liver doesn't go, wait a minute, he gave me a banana. Bananas can't be bad for you. No. Your liver sees your liver is the perfect meritocracy, is gonna just take what you give it. Go on.

[Brian Bishop]

Question for you about bananas, is it a negligible difference between, like, a greenish banana and a fully ripe banana? Because it gets sweeter.

[Vinny Tortorich]

Right. A greener banana, is it negligible? So much better than an overripe banana. The sugar content.

[Adam Carolla]

Good question.

[Vinny Tortorich]

The sugar content goes way up, so.

[Adam Carolla]

It will make sense. They start. Yeah, but it's a good question.

[Brian Bishop]

Negligible.

[Adam Carolla]

You know, so anything tropical, sort of stay away from rock hard green pears that are tasteless and mealy. That's the top of the power rankings.

[Vinny Tortorich]

Well, you know, when it comes to pears and apples, I always, you know, I slice a pear, slice of cheese, put them together.

[Adam Carolla]

So that's the thing, is connect the fat to it.

[Vinny Tortorich]

Yeah. Cook something in there. Now, giving a ranking of fruit, this is my douchebag part, where I always say, you know, avocado is a fruit, that would be at the top of the rank. And olives are fruit, and that's at the top of the rank.

[Adam Carolla]

Where's Richard Simmons? Falling on this scale, he's the biggest fruit ever. That's set him up. So the tropical stuff and the stuff you just know, like when you see a piece of pineapple, nothing could be sweeter than a chunk of pineapple. Yes. Gina, Greg.

[Gina Grad]

Here's a fruit category that I don't think we talk about too much. And I just learned this word, so I really want to say it. The stone fruit category. So like, you know, the plums, the peaches, the apricots with the stones in the middle.

[Vinny Tortorich]

Those are pretty high in sugar. Again, if you're having one on occasion, we're not talking about, you know, because people are gonna hear this and go, oh, he says no fruit. You know, yeah, you can have those on occasion. Just if you're sitting there having two and three.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah.

[Vinny Tortorich]

You know, getting back to the ranking. Berries, cherries, you know, so avocado, olives, berries, cherries. You're fine if you're having one with a pit in it every now and not so bad.

[Adam Carolla]

All right. I don't know why we got a Stallone question or submission from Gina Grad. Also, something just popped in my head. I don't know. We're talking about start a show with my mom or what have you. Something I forgot about. But you guys tell me Dr. Drew. Eh, Dr. Drew is not a yes and guy. So he has difficulty with this. But I sort of floated this notion. We'll get back to red wine. My grandmother was not a drinker per se. She had a glass of red wine with dinner on a nightly basis. But I never saw they had like an alcohol cabinet. And I don't think it ever got touched. My grandmother was not a cocktail person per se. A beer person. She was a very sort of typical, I'm going to have a glass of red wine with my meal.

[Brian Bishop]

I think people that generation, my grandparents too, just kept liquor around just for company occasion or something, right?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I keep it around to keep me company. But it is for company as well. But yeah, if you had a bottle of scotch, it could be in that cabinet for 28 years and not not touch. My mother would at some point went to like Al Anon or adult children of alcoholic meetings. Now she didn't need to go. And Overeaters Anonymous reminded me of this. Cause my mother would go to that too. I think anything that was self help.

[Brian Bishop]

In a fight club situation.

[Vinny Tortorich]

Yes.

[Gina Grad]

There was nothing to eat.

[Adam Carolla]

How could she overeat anything that was free trying to meet fellas? Well, she was able to check two boxes. It was free. Three boxes. It took time, something to do. And it turned her into a victim. It made something wrong with her. But I wonder if it was an F you to her mom who she hated. Meaning if I found out that my adult children were both going to adult children of alcoholic meetings. I think it would probably piss off Lynette who doesn't consider herself an alcoholic and who isn't. So was she doing. And my grandmother had many, many faults, but not an alcoholic. Just glass of red wine with dinner. And that was basically her only vice.

[Brian Bishop]

18 dinners a day.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right.

[Gina Grad]

Well, that was supper. This is dinner. I can have another.

[Adam Carolla]

I'd say to her, what's for breakfast? You mean dinner?

[Brian Bishop]

Pre dinner dinner.

[Adam Carolla]

So was my mom doing that just to piss off her mom who she hated? Or was she actually. Did she actually feel like a victim of an alcoholic even though there was no. My grandfather didn't. Didn't drink either.

[Brian Bishop]

It sounds a little bit spiteful. Knowing your mom, I bet it's more than a little bit.

[Gina Grad]

Little column a, little column B.

[Vinny Tortorich]

She's a major narcissist. So that's problem number one. But problem number two, I actually know someone who goes to Alcoholics Anonymous who's not an alcoholic. She calls herself a fake aholic. She likes going to the meeting to talk. Because the old timers and Alcoholics Anonymous, they just sit around and talk about their husbands.

[Brian Bishop]

They have great stories.

[Vinny Tortorich]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

All right.

[Vinny Tortorich]

You know, like they'll have old timer meetings. They'll just sit around talking about their wives or their husbands and the whole thing. And the new bridge club. She got in. This woman got in and she wasn't. It's kind of like when Kramer got a job. Speaking of Seinfeld earlier got a job just by walking into an office. And he just kept walking in every day. She had to make up a story about how she was an alcoholic and how she would hide booze. She would listen to their stories and just regurgitate them a couple of weeks later.

[Adam Carolla]

It's pretty. It doesn't take that much creativity. You know what I mean? Like, you don't have to. It's not like you're cooking up Harry Potter or anything like that. Just pretty much you gotta pick a weapon of choice. You know, just play it safe and go with vodka and start with the. You know, I started doing it socially and then I just did it to kind of take the edge off. And then at some point you put in a disaster, which was after my son and the whole autoerotic asphyxiation situation. I started drinking way more early and often.

[Brian Bishop]

After the school bus incident.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Brian Bishop]

I don't want to say anymore.

[Adam Carolla]

Combine the two. School bus and auto legally, I guess after that episode, I started drinking more. And now you're in Every time someone.

[Brian Bishop]

Shares reveals a story. I gotta just follow up. Oh man. Is bringing back so many memories such as familiar story. And then you just go into your version of their story.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. So Gina's got a Sylvester Stallone clip that we've never talked about. Correct. So I'm interested. I'll tease it. First I'll tell you guys about stamps.com. oh, we use stamps.com. you bet we use it. Here you can buy and print official US postage for any letter, any package, any class of mail right off your computer. Do it with your printer. They'll even send you a digital scale to automatically calculate the exact postage. And right now enjoy stamps.com with a special offer. It's a four week trial plus postage and the digital scale without long term lock in commitments. Super easy. Go to stamps.com, click on the microphone, top of the home page. Type in Adam that is stamps.com and enter Adam. Never go to the post office again. Never wait in line. Never have to look down at the weird worn tile. You know the post office has the tile that got. It gets worn out. The faded. It's a weird where they've actually rubbed the wood grain that was in the vinyl off and it's a weird beige and then like a lighter. Yeah, it's like darker brown on the outside and a weird light beige fleshy path. No fair. Go to stamps.com. click on the microphone, top of the homepage, type in Adam. All right, what do you got, Gina? Graham.

[Gina Grad]

All right, so it is perfect that you're here today, Vinny. For a couple of reasons that'll probably become apparent. So my buddy Josh Flieger and I were sitting around at the morning show today talking about the movies that we love from our childhood and the movies that he wants to show his son at some point. And he said one that was one of my brother's in my favorite movie as kids. I haven't seen it in 30 years, but we loved it. You guys familiar with over the top? Yes, because we talked about that once. All right. He reminded me of a scene that I had forgotten about that was so genius on so many levels I had to bring it in today just to set it up. Sylvester Stallone, arm wrestling champ. He's also like a long haul truck driver and he has to find a way to keep in shape while he's driving these long hours. But still gotta keep that one. Just the one arm in shape while he drives.

[Adam Carolla]

Let's see, he's on the 18 wheeler.

[Gina Grad]

Yep. Here we go.

[Adam Carolla]

Got a little Montage going.

[Gina Grad]

He's in with his son.

[Adam Carolla]

He's driving the truck from Duel. Oh, I forgot. Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

He has a custom gym for one arm.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, this is a.

[Adam Carolla]

Sadly for all the people that pass him by, it's like that guy's really serious about beating off. I've never seen a guy take beating off so seriously. He has an old apparatus in there. I mean, yeah, we all beat up, but nobody takes it as seriously as that dude in the Kenworth.

[Brian Bishop]

Maybe this is what gave me the idea.

[Gina Grad]

How crazy is that custom in the cab? Just the one arm.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

But he does pour form, though, right?

[Vinny Tortorich]

Leaning forward. No, no, no. When you're doing arm wrestling, you. All of it is getting shoulder. Yeah, you want to wrench your shoulder. As a matter of fact, there's a guy from Twitter who follows me on Twitter who is in a world championship arm wrestling competition. His name is Luke Polscher. He and his son, they're both somewhere in Europe right now in the finals for the United States.

[Gina Grad]

That's amazing.

[Vinny Tortorich]

And I took weight off of him. I help him cut weight every time because he's fine.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, no, he has to wait. He has to wait. He fights in a weight division. I mean, he wrestles in a weight.

[Vinny Tortorich]

Division, and he's always 12 to 15 pounds heavier training. And then when he gets right down to it, he does phone calls. You know, we started off with the phone calls, but sometimes he'll hit me up on Twitter or Facebook and I'll.

[Adam Carolla]

Give him who's scarier. Karate mma, you know, think Karate Kid referee.

[Gina Grad]

Yep.

[Adam Carolla]

Who's scary? The ref. The martial arts ref or arm wrestling ref? Cause I feel like those are scary dudes, too. They're always. They always have the huge guns. They're hanging on top of the guys. They're all hunched over. They're like, you ready? You ready? You ready?

[Brian Bishop]

Definitely arm wrestling ref. Because the. The karate guy, he's disciplined. He's probably a black belt or some belt level, whereas the other guy's on the fringe of society.

[Gina Grad]

The other guy doesn't have a Social Security number.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, he's on the lam.

[Gina Grad]

And in the movie, there's a big Vegas tournament. Do they ever do that in Vegas? A big arm wrestling?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, they have that live show, but.

[Vinny Tortorich]

Most of them are, like, just in a bar somewhere. That's what makes that guy even scarier. Right.

[Adam Carolla]

Arm wrestling ref is the scariest guy on the planet. All right, quick question with Sean. 33, Fresno. Sean, hey, how's it going? I just had. I just Wanted to confirm one of your theories. So I know some gardeners. Well, just to get back to your theory, your theory is that our kids nowadays are getting too much screen time and too much movies and too much entertainment, so they're kind of being overloaded. And you said one time your nephew wasn't very enthusiastic about driving, really didn't care about driving. And I noticed a lot of. Some. Of some kids I know, they feel they're the same way. They really don't care too much about learning how to drive. And it kind of. I think it goes along with your theory about how they're being overloaded with all this stuff. Because I know gardeners, and a lot of their kids, they're not as privileged, I guess you could say. They don't have phones. They don't have all the video games. They don't have all the stuff that overloads them. How many gardeners you know? And you might want to find a better bar to drink at instead of a gardener's bar. Find a good top bar or something. Or a Steelers bar or something. A lot of guys undoing their leaf blowers and hanging them hams are walking in, talking, talking about shrubbery. Don't get me started on dichondra. What a bitch. Sorry.

[Brian Bishop]

Got a double topiary, Mitch.

[Adam Carolla]

Sorry. You know a lot of gardeners? Well, my dad's side of the family is Mexican, and I would have to say that most of that side of the family is, you know, I mean, hey, Kath, do you think your dad would find this offensive back in the day? Back to the bar. Mr. T was discovered by one Sylvester Stallone because of the bar bouncing competition that was on Wide World of Sports. He had to, like, kick open a door, jump over a bar, you know, wipe a glass with your shirt and like, ring a bell or throw like a pony keg over your head.

[Vinny Tortorich]

It ended with ringing a bell. You had to go up a rope.

[Adam Carolla]

And jump over the bar and like, ring a bell.

[Brian Bishop]

You ended with and stay out.

[Adam Carolla]

And stay out. And missed. And. And Mr. T won. And Stallone watched the competition. I remember watching the competition. I was like nine or something. I remember when I was a kid, like on A Wide World of Sports, and that's where he was discovered. What about a gardening competition? You, you know, now hold on a second.

[Brian Bishop]

I'm with you.

[Adam Carolla]

You do. You do. You have stuff like you have the leaf blower skateboard drag race, you know, where you slap the. Fire it up and you go take it. You know, you do that one. You have some sort of, like I call it fence fencing, where you get on either side of a four foot fence and you take rakes out and you yell on guard and you go at it.

[Gina Grad]

It could be like a. A rake obstacle course. You have to make sure you don't step on it so it doesn't hit.

[Adam Carolla]

You, doesn't pick you up in the face. We have a thing where we add. We throw a curveball. Dog got out, dog gets out, starts running at you. You have to fend it off with nothing but. Nothing but a weed whacker. Pinky shears.

[Brian Bishop]

Good. I'd watch absolutely be stupid Nazi. You could hide things in big piles of leaves. You're the first one to find it, right? Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

There's all sorts of stuff you can do it with.

[Vinny Tortorich]

Log competition, right?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, they do a lumberjack version of one. I would watch this.

[Vinny Tortorich]

Oh, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Hey, by the way, guy, tell me if this guy didn't know what he was doing today. I was walking Philly Cheesesteak and I have a weird. I have a weird wiring, which is. I don't get grossed out. I'm not bothered by secondhand smoke. I don't. You know if I take a hit off a beer and you go, oh, that's my beer. Oh, I don't care. Like, I don't care about anything. But I hate the dust. I don't like dust. Like, I don't like it when guys. There's a thing that guys do when you're doing construction and you're working on a big slab and you're out in a warehouse, you're doing your drywall and all your business. Sometimes guys come in and they go, like, they'll bring in a sheet of plywood and they'll like slide it in and they just kind of drop it and it goes. And when it does the whoosh, you see this boom and it's like you're indoors and you've just launched a million particles of dust. And I always yell at those guys, just set it. Just set it down. Don't just flop it over, drop it or whatever. But I hate when I'm walking the dog and the guy's got the leaf blower and there's no escape. Like, it's in the middle of the block. You can't really turn around. There's nothing to do. And he's just blowing it out toward the street. Because they're always just blowing it onto the street. They're not collecting it, they're pushing it into the street. And so I See the guy this morning and he's blowing it down the driveway. And I got Phil. And sometimes I'll stop and wait. Whatever. I just don't want to breathe in all the whatever's on the ground. And I. I break into a jog. Like, come on, Phil, here we go. We're gonna like beat the cloud sort of thing. And he sees me and he doesn't. He doesn't lift. You know what I mean? It's like he doesn't take his foot off the accelerator. It's just like he's watching me running down the street and he's burned. He's just blowing it right down the driveway. Like, come on, douche. Certain point just. It's not like, well, there's a whole cavalcade of people and I'll never get my job done. There's Nobody around. It's 10:30 in the morning. There's nobody walking anywhere. I'm alone. I'm running with my dog. Could you just, I don't know, just take your finger off the accelerator? 4, 5, Ms. And then get back to. All right.

[Gina Grad]

Do you think it's like a little bit of the events Guard or the TSA where it's a little bit on purpose?

[Adam Carolla]

I felt in this particular case there was an element. Run, whitey, run.

[Brian Bishop]

Now you're running.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. But also. Yeah. How's it feel with Trump. Trump coming after us? I also feel like this should be outlawed. I hate laws, I hate regulations and I hate rules. But this is one thing that needs. That is a serious health issue. And it's insane. Yes. It's just blowing stuff all over the place and it's louder than shit. That's the other thing that there's. And it produces more of what we don't want. Like, here we are in California, we make these proclamations about people need to carpool and what about the CO2 and what about the ozone? And by the year 2020, we should have 60% of people in electric cars and blah, blah, blah. We have this device that is. And we have third hand smoke. We have this device that pollutes more than a fleet of Ford F150s literally does more. Because it doesn't have a catalytic converter.

[Vinny Tortorich]

Two stroke engines.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. It just pollutes and it's blowing stuff everywhere and it's loud. Why isn't this a no brainer? Just in California in 2017. Why isn't this a no brainer?

[Brian Bishop]

That's a great point. Gardening lobby.

[Gina Grad]

And you'll notice too, in student films, low Budget films, podcasts. You're always going to hear planes and leaf blowers in the background no matter where you are.

[Vinny Tortorich]

You know, I got my. My guy did the thing and I finally said, okay, I'm not paying you this month until you come and look at this. I took him over to my motorcycle and I said, okay, there's something called Cosmolene, and they put it on motorcycle engines and it's sticky. And your leaf blower stuff is all over my motorcycle. Now, I know this is a first world problem, right?

[Adam Carolla]

Sure.

[Vinny Tortorich]

But now I have to go figure out how to get dirt out of Cosmolene.

[Adam Carolla]

Cosmolene.

[Gina Grad]

Good for the coffee table book.

[Adam Carolla]

What kind of bike you have?

[Vinny Tortorich]

I don't have any more, but I had a couple of Ducatis. I had everything. People always. Because I was a big bike guy and people said, what was your favorite bike? And it was actually a Suzuki GXR Gixxer that I used to take to the streets of Willow because it was the bike you didn't mind tearing up and the bike you didn't mind dropping several times and fixing up again.

[Adam Carolla]

But Willow streets of Willow is the smaller track up above the big track known as Willow Springs. So that is a little tighter, more precise course versus a longer, faster course. Well, speaking of bikes, an interesting. I had an interesting profiling situation. I had. I like to profile everybody at all times, all the time.

[Brian Bishop]

All begging hours. Yes, it's your defining characteristic.

[Adam Carolla]

We had a fella in, and I'll leave all the names out, but we had a fella in and this guy was a professional stunt driver. Very interesting stuff. He did all the stunt driving for Baby driver and then all the stunt driving for, like, drive or whatever. Does all the big time stunt stuff.

[Brian Bishop]

You seen Baby Driver yet?

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Brian Bishop]

You liked it?

[Vinny Tortorich]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

I mean, I was fine with it.

[Brian Bishop]

I liked it a lot.

[Adam Carolla]

It had a lot of interesting elements to it. It was fun and it was fun. The end was a little kind of not sure what was going on.

[Brian Bishop]

But overall, fun movie.

[Adam Carolla]

Overall fun movie. And this guy does something that's really interesting. And I don't know if you guys know this. I knew this from talking to my friend Tanner Faust, who does this, the new thing with the stunt driver. Because now they load the cars up with cameras. Gary, you got to find the picture, the crib that's on top of the Subaru, because they load the cars up with cameras and they want the actual reaction of all the actors driving the cars. But the actors can't drive the cars. And I was right when I said probably because of insurance. And he said yes. Not that you couldn't. You could teach a young guy to drive a little bit, but the insurance would be bad. They put a shopping cart roll cage on top of the car and the stunt driver sits on the roof and does the driving and does all the driving.

[Brian Bishop]

That's a degree of difficulty that I can imagine is not what they're used to.

[Adam Carolla]

That's insane.

[Gina Grad]

That looks like Mad Max.

[Adam Carolla]

They literally put half a Sandra dune buggy on top of the car. And in terms of what a car does around a corner, nobody wants extra weight on the roof. The lower down, the weight. He literally sits on top of it.

[Gina Grad]

I've never seen anything like that and drives.

[Adam Carolla]

And the thing that I found interesting about it is when I was talking to Tanner Faust, who does rallycross and all that other stuff, is a professional rally driver. He did it for the movie, the remake of Red Dawn. And there's a part, there's a part in Red dawn where they get a pickup truck and they're driving over everyone's lawn and through hedges. And then we all know the scene. Just miss an oak tree and swing out into the street and then pop up on the curb and go over someone else's lawn. He's sitting in the rig that's strapped into the back of the bed of the pickup truck and he's doing all the driving through people's lawns and just missed the oak tree and blah, blah, blah. Now, the thing I found interesting about it was in that movie, the people in the cab of the truck, the actors who are being filmed, this is all about realism. Remember in the back, you know, you watch an old Starsky and Hutch episode and you'll see a guy's clearly wearing a bad wig. I always like it when they didn't have female stunt drivers. And they'd have a hot blonde as a passenger, which would be a dude with a mustache with a blonde wig on him, just going by as the car went sliding out into the street.

[Brian Bishop]

Whatever.

[Adam Carolla]

Mustache, yeah. So they want the reactions, but as Tanner would tell me is, well, it was fine because all of the people in the cab of that truck were scared shitless. And with the Ruskies invading and them flying over lawns, natural reaction, perfect reaction. But I said with baby driver, the guys driving the cars cools a cucumber and the other guys are seasoned bank robbing vets. They're not supposed to be going like, oh, my God, or hanging onto the dash or anything.

[Brian Bishop]

Wearing sunglasses.

[Adam Carolla]

Those guys really had to act cool while this guy was driving the bejesus out of the Subaru.

[Brian Bishop]

Here's what strikes me as craz is that how is if you're an insurance adjuster, abc and you see this crazy rig, you're like, oh, yeah, that's way safer than having the guy learn how to drive over the last six months. Like, that seems way more. Strap the driver at least equally as dangerous. Again, I know the guy's professional, but that's not normal driving.

[Adam Carolla]

My thought was, take the guy, the actor, send him to Bob Bondurant driving school, and then choreograph it with him and kind of work it out. Like a fight scene where military training.

[Brian Bishop]

Where you do whatever.

[Giovanni]

Training.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. And work. Work it. And. But for insurance purposes, those guys don't get to drive, which is just one of those stupid insurance things. But you have a guy on the roof of the car.

[Brian Bishop]

Here's our solution.

[Adam Carolla]

Trying to drive a car from the roof of the car.

[Brian Bishop]

That's wild, man.

[Adam Carolla]

So it's pretty crazy. But the thing that was interesting is that guy showed up, and he showed up on his souped up Cafe racer pocket rocket motorcycle because he's a stunt driver. But the thing I found interesting about him is he had a helmet that was very vibrant, and he was wearing a day glow in the dark vest that he wore over his leather jacket because he wants to be seen.

[Brian Bishop]

It's like he's gonna pick up trash on the side of the highway, right?

[Adam Carolla]

Glowing, passing guards. I was breaking the guy down philosophically, and I realized, here's a guy who does enjoy getting through traffic, who's not scared to ride a bike, who obviously knows what he can handle the wheel of a machine. But safety is something that he's aware of, prepares for, and is focused on and realized that as a drive, as a motorcycle rider, not being seen is about the most dangerous thing you can do. Number one. Number one. So he completely throws out the cool factor because I'm wearing the exact same shirt, same hats.

[Brian Bishop]

Same hats, different shorts. I'm sure it was earlier today, a.

[Adam Carolla]

Few days back, same shirt. Okay? He's wearing. He's wearing the same goddamn shirt and hat. He doesn't care about looking cool as much as he cares about safety, but he also cares about performance and cutting through traffic. And I just thought, it's an interesting thing. I see so many guys out there, and the first thing I said to them is, I see guys out there with the flat black helmets and the black leather jackets and not only that, sometimes their bikes are murdered out like satin. Black gas tank, black helmet. It's been 150 degrees out there. Your brain must cook inside. But you are invisible with a. The only way you could get more invisible than a black helmet is a flat black helmet with a flat black jacket and black slacks and black boots. And now you're invisible on that bike moments later. I'm sorry, what is this guy's name? I forgot his name. Smalley. Yeah, David Smalley. Pulled up in a flat back with a black T shirt and a flat black helmet and black everything. Like the next guy to pull into the studio.

[Brian Bishop]

Is that the last he was heard of?

[Gina Grad]

He's an atheist. He's not worried about it.

[Adam Carolla]

I bit my tongue, but until now. Well, look, if you want to ride, please get an orange helmet. It's the highest thing up on the bike, and you can be seen.

[Vinny Tortorich]

Yes, I would always wear. Because they didn't do all the dayglo colors, but I said dayglo, not day go. But I would always wear the white helmet and always wear the bright stuff and spend 15 to 20,000 miles a year in this city on a motorcycle. That's the only way you could get from client to client on the freeways. When you're me, right?

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yeah. You got to get from client to client.

[Vinny Tortorich]

You have to do that. That middle of the, you know, cut, cut lanes. And I did that for years and years and about three years ago.

[Adam Carolla]

And, well, let's not forget the protective conch shell over the junk always helped.

[Vinny Tortorich]

Yeah, it was kind of like from. From the movie with. What's his name? With. I had it right there on the front of my motorcycle instead of the trophy.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, that was Mad Max, maybe. Well, he had something. He had a head mounted, like, on the front of the dune Bug or whatever. Anyway, yeah, sorry. About three years ago, it got raising Arizona. No, it was the one raising Arizona.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

Bounty hunter Tex Cobb had.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I'm thinking Brando.

[Vinny Tortorich]

The wild ones.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, sorry.

[Vinny Tortorich]

Anyway, about three years ago, it got so bad because everyone is texting and those lanes, people would see you coming and kind of part ways, Right. It got to where, you know, everyone is just easing into that area. And whenever, instead of flipping them off, you would look in a car and see what they were doing. They were all just texting. And I came home one day and I just said to Serena, I said, I'm done. And I had two Ducatis left, and I just put them both up for sale and got rid of them. Within a week. And I have not been on a motorcycle since.

[Adam Carolla]

Smalley has an air horn on his bike, though. The invisible bike has an air horn on it to let people know when he's cutting through, which is a smart thing. And bikes should just have that. Now, they have horns, but they have the smallest little electric horns ever.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, yeah.

[Gina Grad]

If your windows are up and you're listening to music, what's the point?

[Adam Carolla]

All right, should we do the fit or bullshit?

[Vinny Tortorich]

Yeah, let's do it.

[Adam Carolla]

Let's do it. Is that health advice you got making you fit or fat? Let's get the real deal from Vinnie Tortorich as we play Fit or.

[Vinny Tortorich]

I want to thank Dylan for helping me put together this list at the last minute, because he claims that the list I brought in was already played, which it wasn't. So we'll play that one next time. Okay, coming in first. What is the best Source of Omega 3? Omega 3 is a fatty acid.

[Adam Carolla]

We hear about it in the fish all the time. The fish oil. Right?

[Vinny Tortorich]

It's in fish oil. Well, A, I'm going to give you four choices here. A, raw flaxseed, B, salmon, C, toasted ground flaxseed, or D, sardines.

[Adam Carolla]

Ooh. They're packed in oil, but are they oily? I like sardines because they made the list. I feel like when you roast things, it's never good. So the roasting part's off. The flaxseed maybe, but I just like the wild card of the sardine.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, the sardines, the lowest in mercury. I remember that because they're tiny. When Chrissy was pregnant, there's a list of fish she can eat from good to bad. Sardines are number one. She's like, nope. But I'm gonna say it whenever you do the. The capsules. A lot of them. Not all of them. Some of them, you get the fish burps afterwards. Like, your burps is like, fish. Well, they're gross, so I'm gonna go fish. I'm gonna say that I just.

[Adam Carolla]

By the way, if I get the fish burps, it's embarrassing. And that's like. I don't want to talk about it all time, The. The supplements and everything. So I just say I went down on a homeless gal.

[Brian Bishop]

Okay, well, that's probably a good.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't want the embarrassment.

[Brian Bishop]

People.

[Adam Carolla]

You can kind of see the look on their face.

[Gina Grad]

Follow up questions today.

[Adam Carolla]

You don't want to seem like one of these idiots is popping everything before you leave.

[Brian Bishop]

You're not getting any follow up questions. You're not getting any investigative journalists poking around asking for your tax returns.

[Adam Carolla]

No, as a matter of fact, you get that a boy in this society, it's a homeless population and whole self esteem movement and everything, you know, of course. And they have the, this whole thing with, hey, we should give them a nice dress and clean them up so they can go out and job. I'm like, yes, and nothing does more for your confidence.

[Brian Bishop]

Salmon.

[Gina Grad]

I think it has to be salmon.

[Vinny Tortorich]

Most of you are correct. It is B. Salmon.

[Adam Carolla]

Salmon. That was my first thought. But then I thought sardines. Sardines are oily.

[Vinny Tortorich]

Yeah, they are. Sardines are good, right? They all do flaxseeds and toasted flaxseeds. Of course they do. But it's not the same quality and the same level as fish in general, number one. And number two, we just found out through a Google search that salmon had more than sardines. But sardines are fine.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, salmon it is.

[Vinny Tortorich]

Or the next question is, this is a true. False. I used to love these in school. Because you had 50. 50 chicks.

[Adam Carolla]

That's so sad. Can I tell you the legacy of horrific student that my boy, he's following his head. I have like four and a half qualities and, and four of them are good. Now I have like six qualities. I'm good at building, I'm pretty. I have a high threshold for pain. I'm a hard worker. And then I'm a horrible student. Just horrible. Hated school. Sonny and I share nothing in common except for the one part where we both hate school. Here's how much you know what this kid we were in get Max a Pata. We were in. We were at Pebble Beach. He'd already taken the week off. First week of school, he took off to go to pebble beach and go racing with daddy. Oh, Max, Pat is not here to go racing with daddy. And we noticed he had a loose tooth. And so like, we were kidding. You know, hey, we're gonna tie a string around it and tie it to the door of the car and we'll slam the door and we'll pull it and we'll this, that, and the other. He said, no, no, no, I don't. And we're like, well, pull it out. You know, it's bothering you. Let's pull it out. And he said, no, no, I don't, I don't want to do that. I don't want to do that. Max Pata's walking in, he's parking Right now. All right. When he walks in, we'll ask Max Zapata what Sonny's answer was. Sorry, continue.

[Vinny Tortorich]

Okay. True, False. We'll get back to Sonny. While we all know that, I agree that high fat diets are the best way to lose weight, number two in losing weight would be a low calorie diet. So true. False. A low calorie diet is the second best way to lose weight.

[Adam Carolla]

Second best way?

[Vinny Tortorich]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

So it could be false. Lower in fat with exercise or something. Something like that. We don't know. Let's see. So high fat diet, best way to lose weight. Second best way is lower the calories. I'm gonna say true.

[Brian Bishop]

I'm gonna say true also.

[Gina Grad]

Well, it's the most popular for sure. It's the most widely accepted. But why not go against the grain? I'll say false.

[Vinny Tortorich]

You got it, Gina. It's false. The problem with low calorie diets is you can only cheat that system for so long. Look at the show Biggest Loser and all, you know, all of these contestants have put all their weight back on. Plus, look at Weight Watchers, which is probably the world's biggest epidemiological study on low calorie diets. You can lose 100 people have lost 200 pounds. But at some point. Point, we're an animal that will refuse to starve ourselves. You cannot empty the gas tank of a car and expect that car to continue.

[Adam Carolla]

What about the. As discussed with Dr. Drew and others, the intermittent fasting?

[Vinny Tortorich]

Intermittent fasting isn't meant to be a low calorie diet. It's just if you're.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I'm not saying it is, but what do you think about that question?

[Vinny Tortorich]

It works. It's a very good question. Because. Because on. If. On intermittent fasting, you're assuming that the person's already fat adapted, meaning that their body can run on their own fat.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Vinny Tortorich]

I can miss a whole day of eating, no problem. I can go run, lift weights, do whatever I did. No energy loss because I'm not going to have a sugar lull. Because I'm fat adapted. Right. Gina's fat adapted. Well, whenever you.

[Gina Grad]

I'm not you, but I'm trying.

[Vinny Tortorich]

Right. So when you're in that position, that's why we talk about medium chain triglyceride oils, coconut oil and that kind of thing.

[Dan Soder]

Thing.

[Vinny Tortorich]

When your body can use that and turn that fat into ketone bodies. When the food stops, as with humans, for millions of years, your body can keep pulling fat from itself, make ketone bodies, use it for Energy. By the way, that's what I was talking about with Phil, your dog that's having a problem.

[Adam Carolla]

Seizures.

[Vinny Tortorich]

Seizures. We can talk about that later because that's. Yeah, you can intermittent fast and get away with it if you're fat adapted. If you're a guy who's just eating.

[Adam Carolla]

How does one get fat adapted?

[Vinny Tortorich]

By eating a high fat diet.

[Adam Carolla]

Hey, Max, Pata, what was the excuse that Sonny gave while we were on pebble beach for his first week of grammar school as to why he did not want his tooth to be either pulled out or fall out while we're on the trip? He was saving it because he wanted to.

[Brian Bishop]

He wanted to lose a tooth during.

[Adam Carolla]

Class so he can miss class.

[Brian Bishop]

Wow.

[Adam Carolla]

He was missing class and planning his next missing of class while he was missing class. That's how bad a student he is.

[Gina Grad]

This man smarter than they give him credit for.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, he could. He would talk to me and I.

[Brian Bishop]

Just see this thing just dangling from.

[Adam Carolla]

His gum like I wanted to rip it out. I couldn't take it anymore. But on a loose on a Thursday of the first week of school, when he was 500 miles away from his his school, he was already planning his next getaway. Thinks ahead smart.

[Vinny Tortorich]

He's a genius.

[Adam Carolla]

He is a genius. He is a smart guy, but boy, does he. Anyone who's planning on missing school while you're missing school, that's intestinal fortitude.

[Vinny Tortorich]

That kid is going to go far in life.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm sure he will. Or he'll be a power bottom.

[Brian Bishop]

He'll probably be a world class improvisational comedian and host, you know, widely distributed talk show and then a podcast.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, they'll land on his feet. All right. So, yeah, because I have found that if you eat a nice dinner, you can then go to bed, wake up the next morning and put some coconut oil in your coffee and not feel like, oh, I got kittens in my stomach. And you can make it pretty much through to the next dinner time.

[Vinny Tortorich]

Yeah, yeah, people do it. I don't like it as diet trickery, which is what happens. Things get so conflated on the Internet. That's why I don't just willy nilly recommend it when people do the consults. I'll teach them how to do it. Yes, but just putting it out there on Twitter, I never tell people, oh, yeah, just go do it. Because I don't know what they're doing now anyway.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, let's do one more.

[Vinny Tortorich]

All right, here's a good one. What is the most efficient form of Protein A, chicken breast, which is the white meat part of the chicken. B, whey protein usually comes in a form of a powder. Whey protein comes from dairy. C, chicken, egg, or D, plain old dairy.

[Brian Bishop]

What do you mean by efficient? Like body absorbs it, it gets into your system faster.

[Gina Grad]

Most bang for your buck.

[Vinny Tortorich]

He wrote efficient here. I would say the best form.

[Gina Grad]

Okay, chicken breast, egg.

[Adam Carolla]

And when you say plain old dairy, you just mean like milk or cream or something like that.

[Vinny Tortorich]

It could be cream, it could be heavy cheese. It could be.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, whatever. Well, I'm gonna say no to the chicken breast. Cause I think we've talked about that. We all punish ourselves with a dry piece of chicken breast when we don't need to. We could have had a piece of steak or had some skin on our roasted chicken. Dairy. Yeah, maybe. I hear you talk a lot about the egg and just the sort of simplicity of the egg. And was there a fourth?

[Brian Bishop]

Am I missing the whey protein powder?

[Vinny Tortorich]

Whey protein powder.

[Adam Carolla]

I feel now one is full of protein. One protein is good and one protein is not so good. There's soy and whey. Is one better than the other?

[Vinny Tortorich]

There's egg protein, egg white protein. There's soy based protein.

[Adam Carolla]

If you go to Trader Joe's, it'll have like soy or whey. Is there one that we want?

[Vinny Tortorich]

If you're choosing between those two.

[Adam Carolla]

Get the whey, get the whey. All right, I'm gonna say the egg.

[Brian Bishop]

I'm gonna say the powder based on the way it's worded. I think it gets in your system faster. More of it.

[Gina Grad]

I think Mr. Egg Yolk over here, there's no way he'd let it be anything but the egg.

[Vinny Tortorich]

It's the egg and here's why. You get all the nutrients from the yolk and you also get. The egg is one of the few foods where you get every amino acid that man has actually discovered at this point.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, it's a perfect time for me to get p. So here it is, it's 2017 and Vinny Tortorich is explaining that the egg is basically the perfect food. And from age 0 to 7 and a half months ago, lots of. Well, now just have the whites or don't eat or look. You can have an egg once every seven months, maybe once twice a year. You know, go ahead and have some scrambled eggs once every fortnight, you know, and lots of discussions about what we're going to do. And then if anyone has ever had an egg white omelette, they're so horrible. And if anyone's ever had a veggie egg white omelette, it literally flies in the face of an omelet. Like, an omelet is a Denver omelette or a Spanish omelet with some chorizo, whatever. When you do the thing with just the bell peppers and the egg white, it's like, it's almost not in the omelette family. But yet we're doing the right thing. Everyone wants to be responsible. I just can't believe in an era of us retiring the space shuttle, like, us going, we're done with this technology. The SR71 flies faster than a bullet. And that was made in the late 50s, early 60s. And we're retiring this, and we're retiring the space show and do all this. We haven't figured out the goddamn egg. We haven't figured out an egg. Like, we haven't figured out. We didn't know water. We thought water was bad for you. Like, why are we so. Insanely, is it. And I think a lot of it's going on today in the political world and everything we see around us when we turn on the news. Are we gonna let people's feelings govern everything? Cause my theory is the reason we're so far ahead in the space shuttle technology is there's no feelings. There's nobody who goes, you know, I just feel like those heat shields aren't doing their. Or there's no Jenny McCarthy. Jenny McCarthy doesn't get to weigh in on the space shuttle, and thus we get a space shuttle. But when everyone gets to weigh in on, like, I know, you know, I have these feelings about dairy, or I have these feelings about lactose, or I saw some nutty bitch give a TED Talk about something she doesn't know about. So now I'm influenced by this. Or I saw a documentary called Bad Manimal, which is about bad animals and about how animals are filled with bad vibes. And, like, when you race all of that, when you get rid of all the idiots with their goddamn opinions, then we get a ball turret gunner. We win World War II. We have space shuttles. We explode the sound barrier in an airplane that's dropped from another airplane. We do everything there just is or isn't right. You think about what we do in the world of a smartphone. You think about what a smartphone. You think what an iPhone 6 or 7 or whatever are now. You think what a Tesla automobile does. You think about what Branson is doing and Tesla with, like, private Elon Musk, like, private space tourism stuff. Think about all that stuff. And you go, oh, my God, we gotta be the smartest people in the world. And then we're gonna listen to Jenny McCarthy and she's gonna tell us about vaccinations, and all of a sudden we're retarded. Could people stop weighing in with their horrible thoughts?

[Vinny Tortorich]

But, Adam, it gets even worse than that. Because when it comes to diet and all this stuff, and then there's the.

[Adam Carolla]

Goddamn politicians who have to weigh in with everything.

[Vinny Tortorich]

That's what I wanted to get. Because McGovern, when McGovern came in in 73 and they did this commission on Capitol Hill, and he said, okay, we've looked at this for 10 years. We're done with it. Let's just pick one, okay? Cholesterol's bad. It had nothing to do with anything other than a politician said, let's pick one. Let's go with this. Cholesterol's gotta be bad for you. And right there, the egg became victimized along with meat and everything else.

[Adam Carolla]

Politicians, attorneys, and atheists have destroyed this goddamn country. And I'm an atheist. Just you having to believe in something and then go push an agenda that's totally false and totally untrue and doesn't help anyone. It doesn't affect anything. But yet your certitude about it is insane. Let's get Elon Musk and let's get Ikea. Let's get those two guys together and just go, here, you run everything. You do everything. You tell us whether to eat eggs, you tell us what to do, we'll just do it. Because you guys know what you're doing. Everyone else just has feelings, by the way. Feel like not all rockets.

[Vinny Tortorich]

Hang on. It gets even worse because I've been yelling about this for years, and now the guys over, I think the Freakonomics guys are. Maybe one of them, did a podcast on it. I've been yelling for years that when we took tallow out of the beef fryers, which is on my next group of questions. So that one's gone. When we took Tallow, we got McDonald's. We got one man in middle America, got this guy in 1991, a one man crusade got McDonald's to take beef tallow out of the fryer.

[Adam Carolla]

What's tallow?

[Vinny Tortorich]

Tallow is beef fat.

[Gina Grad]

So, like when they cook French fries.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. That's why they used to taste good.

[Vinny Tortorich]

So once McDonald's fell, every other fast food restaurant fell, and they all started using vegetable oil in the fryers.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Vinny Tortorich]

But by doing that, you're now, weaponizing the french fry, before, it was just this innocuous treatment. Now it's weaponized because when you take.

[Adam Carolla]

Hold on. I feel. I feel like when I was a cow, I wouldn't want to be made. I wouldn't want to be rendered right.

[Vinny Tortorich]

But this guy did it because he thought it was bad for your heart. Yeah, but I jumped on board.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Because I feel. Oh, shut up. Just shut up. And just let us follow whatever the data is and get on with our goddamn lives. I know. Everyone's a hero.

[Vinny Tortorich]

I think it was Malcolm Gladwell. Guys. You could go listen to that, Pike. People have been telling me to listen to it because I've been yelling about this on my podcast for five years. You know, all these groups coming out saying, oh, you gotta keep vegetable oil in there. That's what's killing us. Because that stuff, it. It's bad for your heart. That vegetable oil is not bad for you.

[Adam Carolla]

But I feel like I would rather have a vegetable in my heart. Yeah, it's got more vegetable in it.

[Vinny Tortorich]

That's what happens.

[Adam Carolla]

And I feel like cows. Like, you look at them, they're so dumb, and they're fat, and they just sit there, and they're polluting the ozone with their methane. And then you take a look at a clover. Look how pretty it is. So I feel. Shut up. Just let the smart people do the thinking.

[Brian Bishop]

It's like we had the answer years and years and years ago. Decades ago. Egg is good for you. Somehow we want to talk ourselves out of the answer or somehow figure out something that we've already figured out.

[Adam Carolla]

But I've now. I now realize the chasm between all the just hard science, mechanical science stuff and the SR71 from 50 years ago and us still arguing with Jenny McCarthy over vaccinations.

[Gina Grad]

And you know what the worst response is, which is now, like, the thing to say to people. Way to step into your truth, Adam. Not truth. Your truth.

[Adam Carolla]

I hope they step into Philly's truth right in the backyard. And I hope they're barefoot. Smart math, man. I just feel like you guys should use Smart mouth man. Dual solution oral rinse. It's the only activated mouthwash clinically proven to instantly eliminate bad breath and prevent it from coming back for 12 full hours. Zinc ion technology. It binds again. This is technology. It binds to the bacteria, forcing it to stop producing sulfur gas. Dr. Drew loves this stuff because it's technology. It's not just covering it up with a mint flavor. Nothing ruins an intimate moment as quickly as stinky Breath doesn't matter who you are, man. You could have a Ducati, you could have a Corvette. You could have a Lambo. It doesn't matter. Your mouth smells like wet garbage. You are in trouble. Foul breath can ruin social situations and sabotage relationships and career prospects. Don't let it happen to you. Smartmouth.com is where you go and you can find it at Walmart, Target, Walgreens, cvs. Wherever you shop, make sure you pick up some smart mouth. All right, Vinny Tortorich is on the way out. Celebrity fitness trainer is the name of the podcast. You can listen on itunes. Pure Vitamin Club. I have them. I take them every morning. And you can check out his website and see about doing a phone consultation. Not too shabby. We should go to the website. Go ahead, Vinny. Sorry.

[Vinny Tortorich]

Details on website website vinnietotteries.com as a matter of fact, next week I'm putting a new free PDF up there for people to understand exactly what nsng no sugars, no grains is how to get into it. I just completed it. My guys are getting to it. You're gonna love this. It's 12 to 15 pages of this is how you lose weight. Absolutely free. No ifs, ands or buts. Just go do it.

[Gina Grad]

And I posted a picture of myself in a bikini, which I don't phrase. Thanks, Vinny.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, really?

[Gina Grad]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

This is.

[Gina Grad]

This is because of Vinny.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow. Yeah, this is the weekend.

[Gina Grad]

This wasn't like 10 years ago. This was three days ago.

[Brian Bishop]

Why, that's a picture of a much younger woman.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, so check that out. And Dan Soder in studio. Next, It's time for Nick Nicaraguan named that movie with Adam's buddy Oswaldo. See if you can guess which movie this famous line is from. I wish I knew what you quit you if you said Brokeback Mountain. I wish I knew how to quit you. You're correct. Now back to the show. Let me me Dawson. Let me hear Ozzie one more time because the word is you and I and wish like these are things that I feel like if we were in his native Nicaragua for 31 years that we could handle. Like I can say things like K and C and tro and ola and things of that nature. Yeah, let's hear it. I wish I knew. Well, you quick you. Wow. I built houses with that guy. Could you imagine how is the chimney.

[Gina Grad]

Not in the basement?

[Adam Carolla]

Dan Soder in studio. The stand ups. You can check out the episodes on Netflix. Episode 6. Thanks for coming in, Dan.

[Dan Soder]

Thanks for having me.

[Adam Carolla]

Where are you From Dan.

[Dan Soder]

I grew up in Aurora, Colorado, and then lived in the Bay Area as a kid and then moved to Tucson and now in New York City.

[Vinny Tortorich]

City.

[Adam Carolla]

I feel like growing up in Aurora, Colorado sounds sane. Is that very sane?

[Gina Grad]

Well, up until a few years ago, yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Well, there's one incident that. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yeah, Aurora. Right.

[Dan Soder]

But yeah, it was mostly like a decaying suburb. So it's one of those things where you have like, you know, middle class, lower work, lower working class people and that kind of like suburban boredom, which leads to a lot of, you know.

[Adam Carolla]

Like, shoplifting is for you. Was comedy always the thought or was it. Did you grow up too far away from comedy and it wasn't a gig?

[Dan Soder]

No. I was like one of the first Comedy Central generation babies. We got cable and Comedy Central played a lot of standup in the late 80s, early 90s when it first came out. That's primarily what they played. So you could see it even living in Aurora.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Dan Soder]

And then by the time I was a teenager, I kind of knew I wanted to do that. I was a bad student. I was getting kicked out of class a lot for trying to be funny, you know, making fun of my teachers. And then I went to.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

What are you talking about?

[Adam Carolla]

It's my boy. Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

And then I went to Comedy Works when I was 16 and saw Chappelle there and I was like, ah, well.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, Comedy Works is in Denver and in the basement.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. Downtown.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

One of the best clubs in the country, easily.

[Adam Carolla]

Is it? Yeah, I've played there a bunch of times. And all I remember is there's a P F. Chang's.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Next door.

[Brian Bishop]

That was your impression. That's your take on the legendary comedy club.

[Dan Soder]

I get it, though. You know what? I know certain clubs where there's like a Ruby Tuesdays.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

I could. I can talk in like, nom terms. I'm like, two clicks southeast. There's a good apple.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. You're doing a move. You're pointing at your fingers and then pointing down and doing a move with the ruby Munch, munch, munch.

[Dan Soder]

I go, we're going to wrap this up. Tater skins.

[Adam Carolla]

No, I remember. I. The reason I remember, I don't remember anything about my kids. I don't know much about my own life. I just know when Mike August says something incredibly stupid to a waitress and that's. I should have marked you the time. By way the. That Mike August, you could take North America and just break it into two groups and two groups only. And in a world where we now have 150 where you need a sexuality, where there's 150 boxes to click on what you are, you know, you're Greco active or whatever you are. This is a group where there's only two. There are people who have seen the Wire.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And then people who haven't seen the Wire who need to get punished by the people who have seen the Wire. But constantly wanting to know why you haven't seen the Wire and how much you would enjoy the Wire. That's what Mike August does to me. We travel and he punishes me for not seeing the Wire. But when we're at the P F Chang's and we asked our young waitress what she was watching and she said, I watch nothing because I don't have TV and I don't have cable and I don't have anything. And thus there was nothing to talk about. At a certain point she came back to the table and she went, I do watch the Wire. And Mike went, could we have more pork fried rice? I said, what Mike? Now she watches nothing. She's 26. And now she just announced she watched the Wire and you want more pork fried rice.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. This is the one time you could jump into the conversation deep on season two or even the, you know, the schooling season four.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. So I was discussing him, but I remember the club very distinctly now because of that. Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Well, I mean, whatever you can, whatever triggers that memory.

[Adam Carolla]

And you went there at what, what age? 16.

[Dan Soder]

I snuck in my.

[Adam Carolla]

Snuck in and watched Chappelle.

[Dan Soder]

Chappelle and Greer Barnes open for him.

[Adam Carolla]

Was. Was Chappelle magical?

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, it was insane. It was one of those things where you watched him and he was like, he shut down like two hecklers where you don't see heckling on t. First time I saw heckling and I saw Chappelle just annihilate these two guys. And I was like, well, that's insane that he was that quick.

[Adam Carolla]

Is, is there a thing though where somebody so good to a young 16 year old budding comedian that you're intimidated and think I could never be that?

[Dan Soder]

Yes. Yeah. And I think that's why it took me till I was 21 to start in Tucson because I went, I went to the open mic in Tucson to be like, what if they're all like, Chappelle? You watch an open mic and you go, I can do this.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

The next you were like, I can do that. I'm going to try at least. Because you just, you know, open mics are the circus.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, no, I know. I've done a few of those and there's no more bitter. We talked about the scariest guys on the planet. We talked about the guy who's the referee in the MMA or All Valley Karate tournament.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

We talked about the referee in the arm wrestling competition. I will add guy who runs open mic night. I'll tell you, not the physicality of those two, but emotionally, he'll take you apart.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. It always reminds me of the guy that runs the gladiators in Gladiator, where he's like, you're up and just don't pee yourself. It's always like a thing where he's seen all the worst that can happen.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Dan Soder]

And so even good things happening don't even brighten his day because he knows there's more bad things around the corner.

[Adam Carolla]

I always found it bizarre when they would start sort of weighing in. Like, they'd go, you see the flashlight, or you see the head of Eddie Cantor light up. That means you're at two and a half minutes. That means you have one joke and one joke, and you say the one joke and you get off stage or I will pull the goddam mic cord out of the goddamn microphone. And then they do this one. And don't end with a story. Tell a joke, say something fun. And I was like, I don't know, maybe that's not my style. Like, why are we weighing into this territory?

[Dan Soder]

Well, they also, they. They hit the light. And sometimes people. I've. I've. When I started, there was one set in particular where I didn't even make it to the light. It's the only time I've never made it to the light, where I was just starting premise after premise and my mouth was dry and I kept apologizing. I just kept being like, you guys, guys. You guys go on. You guys go on dates. Guys.

[Adam Carolla]

God, it's hot.

[Dan Soder]

And then I just bailed. And I sat in the back. You could still smoke cigarettes inside. And I sat in the back smoking cigarettes with my head in my hand, just, like, defeated. It's the most defeated I've ever been in my life.

[Adam Carolla]

I think I would watch a comedy special of the worst open mice through history.

[Dan Soder]

I don't think you could. I honestly think it sounds good on paper. But you would get three in, and then you'd be like, man, this is real. It's like watching those Faces of Death videos.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Dan Soder]

Where you're like, yeah, I want to see a guy get hit by a train. And then you see it, and the realness Kind of seeps in. Yeah, I don't know if I like this.

[Adam Carolla]

Plus you come and now it's time to watch Friends or something else. Well, you're right. You're right. Because the thing, the thing, that's the thing about the open mic. When you see, let's say a unfunny or what you would call, let's say bad comedian at a club or even somebody bomb or even on tv, you know, they go out on Conan or Kimmel or whatever and they don't have a great set. It's essentially like watching a baseball player strike out. Yeah, they struck out, but they weren't holding the bat with their hands 18 inches apart. They didn't fall when they struck out. Like he went, that guy knows what he's doing. But he didn't make you figure he's.

[Brian Bishop]

On the 25 man roster for a reason.

[Adam Carolla]

He didn't make contact, but he know. But you can see he's a professional baseball player. When you go to open mics, it is not professionals out there at all.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, it's one of those games where they like spin around with their head on the bat and then try to swing.

[Adam Carolla]

They drink a beer like they chug a Molson and then they try to make it to first base.

[Dan Soder]

That's exactly what it is.

[Gina Grad]

It has a name.

[Adam Carolla]

We've all played football. That's what it is. So you're watching non comedians attempt comedy and you've not seen that. You won't see it on tv. You can see a guy bomb, but you can't see a non professional bomb.

[Dan Soder]

I think these.

[Gina Grad]

That's a good point.

[Dan Soder]

The non comedy, the perfect non comedy equivalent of watching an open micro bomb is a world star hip hop fight where there's just like two guys in a subway go on, you know, and then they like start yelling and then there's a swing and then there's like a connection. One guy gets knocked out and you're like, oh, that's pretty tough. And then the other guy starts stomping on him like someone from the subway stop. Like, can a manager leap over the sandwich counter? This is bothering me.

[Adam Carolla]

It turns out nobody works in a subway. There's one person that makes sure you don't jump over the gate. Yeah. And that's the only human being, because people tell me stories where it's like this guy brought an emu onto the subway like an ostrich. And this guy plucked it, gutted it and cooked it. It took him like seven hours. Everyone just watched him and it's like, there's never anyone who tells a story about this homeless guy defecated, but a guy in a uniform was on it immediately.

[Gina Grad]

He's quickly apprehended.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't think anyone works on a sub. I've never seen anyone intervene or do interview. It's all. We all stared at this in dismay while the one homeless guy stabbed the other homeless guy.

[Dan Soder]

I would say in 11 years of living in New York City, I've never seen one MTA employee bust up a homeless guy who's taken a car to himself and kind of marked it with his territory. That being the smell of hot piss, right? And so I have terrible sense of smell. I can sit on the other end of those cars. And my favorite game is to watch people walk onto the subway and then smell it and kind of be trapped in there with me for a little bit.

[Adam Carolla]

It's a little interesting porthole into our way of government, which is if you jump over the turnstile and cost them A$10, they're on top. You like the Fresno Popo is in Catch a Predator when he says, you're free to leave and he walks out. That's how they're on top. But if you're simply riding pentagrams and fecal matter on the window on while you're in the car, we have at it costing us seven kids doing a.

[Dan Soder]

Whole dance routine where they're flipping and kicking. No one will stop.

[Adam Carolla]

No one will stop.

[Dan Soder]

No one will stop that. But the second. The only two times I've gotten tickets were because once I tried to hop a turnstile. And one time I was leaving the subway with a tall boy in a brown bag, and I just turned me and my buddy turned a corner and there was two cops there, and they were like, well, you're like, all right, well, there's nowhere to go.

[Adam Carolla]

This is. There's a. I'm gonna tell my kids, you know, when we're talking about having it easy. And I'm not from Colorado, so I can't do the hike in the snow and everything, but there was a time when you could spot a beer because Coke, Pepsi, 7up, and then there was Budweiser in Coors. Now with the proliferation of the energy drinks, all the crazy teas, the Arizona teas, all the stuff, and then all the IPAs, you can drive with a 16 ounce IPA between and just hit right off it in traffic. And it could be a tall boy tea energy drink, whatever you drink, whatever you want. Now, back in the day, it was Quite obvious there was. There was a Shasta over here and Budweiser over here, and you knew what it was.

[Dan Soder]

And the beers had the pull tabs, right. And the cans had the different ones. But now if you could just bring a 60, if you like, left a giant like Shaquille O' Neal energy drink in your door holder and then drove around drinking an ipa, you could just switch it out and there's no need.

[Adam Carolla]

I would. Not yet. No need to use the bag. That's a tell. Brown bag is a bag. Don't brown bag it anymore. Just walk around drinking your iPad. And by the way, there are so many millions of craft beers that are out there that it'd be impossible for a cop at 60 miles an hour to tell you what it was. It was good times. We're in the salad days of beer.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Drinking and driving his back, baby. With a vengeance. All right. So sorry. Oh, and Billions, right?

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm very lucky to have a part on that show.

[Adam Carolla]

We love that show.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, thanks.

[Adam Carolla]

Brian Koppelman calls in every once in a while.

[Dan Soder]

Great, great guy.

[Adam Carolla]

I agree. My wife is binge watching Billions. She's in love with that show and upcoming movie coming up.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, I filmed a part in it. I don't know when it's being released. Drunk Parents with Alec Baldwin and Salma Howard.

[Adam Carolla]

I feel like I'm in on the title alone.

[Dan Soder]

It's funny. Really funny. Fred Wolf.

[Vinny Tortorich]

Who?

[Dan Soder]

You know SNL did dirty work, right? He directed it, wrote and directed it. Super fun to work with him.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, you want to hang in and crack wise while we do a little news?

[Dan Soder]

1,000%.

[Adam Carolla]

Let's do it. Dan, give me the news with crack. News with Geno grad. Breaking 5 viral.

[Dan Soder]

All those crazy Trump tweets. Give me news with Gina Grad. Trouble in the Middle East.

[Adam Carolla]

Celebrity Trump meltdowns. Big news with Gina.

[Dan Soder]

Gina.

[Adam Carolla]

The news with Gina Grad.

[Gina Grad]

I'll just give a couple of hurricane updates because, boy, it is. It is getting real bad out there. As hurricane Irma maintains its strength while battering the Virgin Islands in Puerto Rico, it picked up two more. Both Hurricane Jose and hurricane Katya have reached hurricane strength as well. Now Irma still packs a 185 mile an hour wind. The National Hurricane center believes it will come close to or strike Miami likely Sunday morning. So far, the Irma death toll is at 10. Hurricane Harvey's death toll stands at 70.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't like Harvey and Irma because they're like, pull them out. They're like retirement villa.

[Gina Grad]

Kindly, old school.

[Dan Soder]

I'm just gonna say it sounds like you're Nana's friends.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. It's like, what happened? I was killed by one of my n. Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

You know, Harvey's got a bad hip, but he did a lot of damage.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, we need like, cyborg.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, like names in our names.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

Rocco.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Just.

[Adam Carolla]

Or names that would kill you. Not.

[Vinny Tortorich]

Not.

[Adam Carolla]

What are these kinds of names?

[Dan Soder]

What about biblical names?

[Adam Carolla]

Uh huh.

[Dan Soder]

I feel like if you went Old Testament, New Testament, really kind of threw in Hurricane Ham.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Ezekiel. Yeah. Abel's good. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Cain. Like a good one. I like that.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. We need something.

[Dan Soder]

Hurricane Lucifer.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. These are soft names. I don't like them.

[Brian Bishop]

The problem is, though, they name every tropical storm. So you're gonna waste a lot of good biblical sweet names on some storms that never become.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, no, you give them to the lightweight storms. You give them. You give them the Irmas and the Gertrudes. And coming up, you're not gonna be wild about. This year does not have very many storms. What do we got? This. Coming up after Jose and Katya are Lee, Maria, N. Nate. Lee, Nate.

[Gina Grad]

I go to lunch. I go to brunch with all of them.

[Adam Carolla]

Ophelia. It's bad, you know it's gonna happen. It's like, what happened? He was killed by hurricane. He was killed by a hurricane Lee. Oh, I'm not in. I don't follow gay lingo that much, but whatever. I don't judge. But I'm sorry it went wrong. Whatever happened.

[Dan Soder]

Hurricane Topher just ruined everybody.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't like it. I know we name them in advance, but let's call audibles.

[Gina Grad]

Delilah MacDuso.

[Adam Carolla]

Let me ask you this. Would Bill Belichick call Super bowl plays in advance? I'm sure he scripts his years before the game. Five years before the game. All right, well then why.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, why would we.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right.

[Brian Bishop]

We think the Americans.

[Gina Grad]

I think I know. Okay, so we have Harvey, Irma, Jose, and Katya. So it is in alphabetical order.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

So at least we have to do that.

[Adam Carolla]

They alternate genders as well.

[Gina Grad]

All right, a couple of rules.

[Dan Soder]

You're a boxing fan, Adam. Why don't they just do it by weight class? So like, the small dangerous ones are like Chocolatito, Hurricane Chocolatito. And then like the biggest one, you know, you go like, all the way up to, like, Deontay Wilder.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, he's a big dude.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, the.

[Adam Carolla]

The one. I. I think all the big copyright issues.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, I mean, we could Change it up. We're gonna change the whole system if we're going boxing way.

[Adam Carolla]

The thing that freaked me out the most is the lightweight Pepino Cuevas. Because I finally asked my Spanish speaking nanny what pepino meant in ch. She said cucumber.

[Gina Grad]

And I was like, that's not dangerous.

[Adam Carolla]

What the heck kind of name is that for a boxer? And must mean something else as well, but 10 cuidado. Yeah. Pepino Cuevas. Cucumber Cuevas is a famous lightweight boxer.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, sorry, go ahead.

[Gina Grad]

Well, Dennis Rodman wants to straighten things out between the US And North Korea, according to Mercury News. Now, in an interview he did with Good Morning Britain, the former NBA star says he's the guy to prevent this war. He says he's visited North Korea five times and explains, and I quote, I basically hang out with Kim Jong Un all the time. We laugh, we sing karaoke, we do a lot of cool stuff together. We ride horses, we hang out, we go skiing. We hardly ever talk politics. And that's a good thing, by the.

[Adam Carolla]

Way, if you're the horse. How pissed are you when you see this, too? Tweedledee and Tweedledum, like, they. They basically look like a ball and a bat. Yeah, like a ball and a bat. Yeah. I was thinking of smoking the band. Like, smoking the Bandit. Pat. Oh, my God. And what's his name, the songwriter. Oh, well, think of it, too. Got the two. The one guy who were paying him to drive the Coors from Colorado to Texarkana or whatever it was, that is Paul Williams. It's Paul Williams, right. And Pat. God, we'll find a picture of these two. All I remember is, wasn't one of them named Little Enos or something? Yeah, yeah, the biggest cracking Little Enos guy in the world. And the smallest guy in the world. All right, sorry, I'm digressing. But we'll figure. We'll figure out the two.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah. So he had Pat McCormick.

[Adam Carolla]

Pat McCormick, who was a huge.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, wow, that's a pair.

[Adam Carolla]

All right. I'm saying, if you look at it, it took a long time to get there, but it'll make sense. If you're the horse, you'll not be happy.

[Gina Grad]

Nope. Well, he adds that he's the perfect choice to persuade the dictator from launching a nuclear attack against the US because he's not, quote, crazy sometimes, like President Trump. So save us, Dennis Rodman.

[Adam Carolla]

Look, whatever works, works. Like maybe that's our diplomatic MacGyver move, where we send the crazy guy over there and it somehow pulls it off. It's.

[Dan Soder]

Which is what you want to happen. But as someone that's hung around with a lot of dangerous alcoholics, and that seems to be what Dennis Rodman is, right? Dennis Rodman can give you the speech of like, no, no, no, we're going to go to this bar. It's cool. This guy will be cool with it. And then you show up and like, this is very dangerous and you got us in a bad situation.

[Brian Bishop]

This is uncool.

[Dan Soder]

This is uncool. And I feel like that would happen with Rob.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, at some point, we're gonna have to call and yell dude, maintain. When he starts, when he reaches for the. The football with the codes in the briefcase. Dude maintain. Dude maintain. The best part of dude maintain is 63% of the time, the guy who's yelling dude maintain. Is drunker and more out of control than the dude he's screaming at to maintain.

[Dan Soder]

And he's the one that sets everything off. Dude maintained Draws attention to the other guy, right?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah. And he's too loud. Like, he know dude right there. Dude, we know these MMA guys are douchebags, but you gotta maintain.

[Dan Soder]

I know you hate the maple leaves, but they're in the bar. Don't yell at them. Hockey players. Players are capable of fighting.

[Adam Carolla]

Dude maintain.

[Brian Bishop]

As it escalates, the dudes get more frequent and louder too.

[Adam Carolla]

Dude, Dude.

[Dan Soder]

And then, then the hit.

[Adam Carolla]

And then you're like, dude, you know what? I don't know. I feel like my kids are going to grow up in a landscape with no Corey's or like super young Ashton Kutchers or something. We need to cast a couple dudes in the movie. Dude, maintain. Because my kids don't have that. Dude, where's my car? Or those stupid bad, like, 80s 90s stone. Then have a Bill and Ted. We need a bill. We need a Dude Maintained series. And I need to cast two dudes named Corey to be in it.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, you have to do something before they try to make a buddy oxycontin movie, right? Dude, let's rob this old lady, right?

[Gina Grad]

Well, after four years of rumors and speculation about the relationship, Jamie Foxx and Katie Holmes are finally public now. Whatever. But this is where it gets interesting. According to Yahoo News, the rumor was that they'd been dating since 2013. But about a year ago, Radar Online claimed that as part of her divorce settlement with Tom Cruise, Holmes agreed not to date anyone publicly for five years. Now, a source claimed that, quote, Katie signed totally normal. Well, yes, exactly. Katie signed a clause in her quickie divorce Settlement.

[Adam Carolla]

And by the way, brothers for 10. Yeah, they didn't read that part. You gotta read the fine print.

[Gina Grad]

Right, I skipped that. The source said Katie signed a clause in her quickie divorce settlement that prevents her from embarrassing Tom in various ways. Like talking about him or talking about Scientology or publicly dating another man for five years. After the divorce, they went on to say that she's allowed to date, but she cannot do it in public. And she's not supposed to let anybody near their daughter. Siri.

[Adam Carolla]

They call this siree layaway cuckold.

[Dan Soder]

I want you to be with another man, but I want you to do it in installments.

[Adam Carolla]

Knuckle layaway. It happens in the best of us. Tom is Jamie Foxx, the most talented man on the planet.

[Brian Bishop]

He's up there.

[Adam Carolla]

I say this because he can do serious stuff. He plays instruments. He. He becomes other Ray Charles. He can play as stupid like any given Sunday and play like the cocky quarterback. It looks great with a shirt off. He does these crazy stand up, he sings, he dances. He does the on In Living Color. Does the crazy characters. Like, who's more talented?

[Brian Bishop]

He's the black Timberlake.

[Adam Carolla]

He is, but I would say even. Even more so.

[Brian Bishop]

Neck and neck. I know.

[Adam Carolla]

In that he could just. I feel just. Yeah, you're right. But he feel like he can do everything.

[Brian Bishop]

There's two of them.

[Dan Soder]

Timberlake can do singing, dancing. He can do that better. But Jamie has a wider array of weapons because he can do like Timberlake. You can't. Timberlake could never do standing.

[Adam Carolla]

You never buy him as a footballer cuckolding Tom Cru. Feel like nobody can touch him because.

[Gina Grad]

You over the top.

[Dan Soder]

Who would be able to? Who's the only other person that could cuckle? Tom Cruise.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Dan Soder]

Jamie Foxx.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. That's the point. Like, whenever there's a tie, that's the tiebreaker.

[Gina Grad]

That's so good.

[Dan Soder]

Tom Cruise. Who could reach that level? That's like a black belt.

[Gina Grad]

Is it gonna be like being John Malkovich? Like, is it gonna be a movie?

[Adam Carolla]

It is.

[Dan Soder]

Like an indie release.

[Adam Carolla]

Mike Jones presents.

[Gina Grad]

All right, well, a company is taking bachelor parties to a whole new level by offering to let guys party in space. The company is called Worldview. It'll blast you and your buddies off in a high tech helium balloon from a launch pad in Tucson.

[Brian Bishop]

That's pretty badass.

[Gina Grad]

Yep. From there you'll float to 100,000ft above sea level. There's an open bar, but customers are warned that with the pressurized capsule, it will mess with you a Little bit. Make you a little more drunk than you think. Maintain. After a couple hours partying in space, the capsule is disconnected from the helium balloon. Floats back to earth with a parachute. All this fun and excitement and the open bar will set you back a mere 75 grand. That's it for a sweet, unforgettable bachelor party.

[Brian Bishop]

It's very doable.

[Dan Soder]

It'd be great if they just left them in space.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Like this is what you get for thinking. This is what you get.

[Adam Carolla]

It's also got to be one of those like it's got to be a tough pitch. Like I know we're looking at condos because we want to move out of my folks house, but I cannot get drunk in the stratosphere unless we take the money we've set aside for the condo we're gonna get in a two bedroom in Sherman Oaks. But I gotta get drunk in the stratosphere.

[Gina Grad]

But didn't we have an agreement like when we first started dating? We were each gonna put something away for the nest egg.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, when you said nest, I meant like up in the stratosphere. We said nest. You know, nests are not on the ground. Sherman Oaks is on the ground. Either on the ground or one we might get get a town. Well, we're not going to get a town hunt. The point is this. I've made my decision.

[Dan Soder]

I've already. I've already spent the money.

[Adam Carolla]

I've already spent. I already put the down.

[Dan Soder]

Me and the boys are going invited.

[Adam Carolla]

Jamie Fox. Long story short, I want Jimmy Fox keep an eye on you. I'm in outer space.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

Anyone I trust?

[Brian Bishop]

Anyone or my name isn't Tom Cruz.

[Adam Carolla]

The crazy.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

The.

[Adam Carolla]

You want to know the craziest? The craziest story involving that was Lee Majors was married to Farrah Fawcett. Farrah Fawcett was the most desirable woman on the planet because of Charlie's Angels. And she was a fox back in the day when the fox meant something. Back when you would sell 18 million units of a poster of you in a one piece. A one piece leaning against a Mexican rol rug. 18 million units. That's how desirable she was. The most desirable person in the world. And Lee was like Gary, you can look it up. But lee majors, the $6 million man was like going to Canada to shoot a film or something or doing whatever. He was going out of town and he got got the biggest womanizing God. Ryan. Ryan o'.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

Neal.

[Adam Carolla]

He got the best looking womanizing alcoholic to keep an eye on her while he was gonna be in Moose knuckle, like shooting of hockey film. And he's like, hey, great looking alcoholic with zero moral values and a broken moral compass. Like a guy who, who has full fist fights with his teenage son. Like closed fist. Like, you want some? Like we're gonna throw down in the entry hall. You have to watch my most desirable person on the planet take her out to dinner, you know, show her a good time.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, that call, that first call from Saskatoon where he's like, what are you guys doing? And they're like. And she's like, oh, I mean, we're just.

[Adam Carolla]

Ryan and I are having a drink.

[Dan Soder]

On the back patio at 4am so it's Tuesday.

[Gina Grad]

Why are you breathing so heavy? I just ran up the stairs when.

[Adam Carolla]

When, when Lee Majors does that, you know? Like, he could have. He could have got like Marty Feldman or somebody, anybody, right? But he went with Warren instead of Ned. Like, I'm just saying, like, could there be a worse man for that job?

[Dan Soder]

It's almost.

[Adam Carolla]

And she's 26 and he's 29. Like, are you kidding me?

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, you might as well asking for this.

[Adam Carolla]

Does he want out? Does he want out? My first thought, why does he want out? She just. She's the best looking person on the planet and just made a kajillion dollars.

[Dan Soder]

For selling a poster because of the age old saying. I mean, he probably. He probably got, you know, after three months, he was like, oh, I don't care.

[Adam Carolla]

This is why Richard Gere put the hamster in his ass. Like, I'm done with Cindy Crawford. I'm just so done.

[Brian Bishop]

I just thought of the old Loveline story, literally like a day and a half ago about Stephen Jenkins. Remember coming into Loveline, Third Eye Blind. Yes. Singing Third Eye Blind. It's a third line song on the radio. And I thought of Stephen Jenkins. He was like saying like, I just broke up with my girlfriend. I cheated on her. I feel really stupid. It was a young Charlize Theron.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh my God, it was. Yeah, but when she was 22, she was a pig.

[Brian Bishop]

She hadn't lost the baby fat.

[Dan Soder]

She didn't come into her own till 27.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, that's right.

[Brian Bishop]

Gary, find a picture of her from Devil's Advocate.

[Adam Carolla]

Because it was right around that time.

[Gina Grad]

Or that thing you do.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, I forgot that she was a.

[Adam Carolla]

Cameo in that was I. Oh, yeah, she was great that I was right then in that, like how old was Lee Majors? Or how old was Farrah Fawcett? And. And she was 21 when Lee Major.

[Brian Bishop]

Started dating so just about to hit her.

[Dan Soder]

That's a first round draft pick.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, my God.

[Dan Soder]

Going to Canada.

[Adam Carolla]

Why would you have him look after her? Him of all. Of all humans.

[Brian Bishop]

You're a. Psychologically. You want it out.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

You want to see what else is out there?

[Gina Grad]

Wanna I. I guess his hubris.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, wow.

[Brian Bishop]

I take everything.

[Adam Carolla]

So that would put her at. Right about 30. We're looking at Charlize Theron at 31. She went, she would put her about 30 when she went with O'. Neill. Oh, no, wait a minute.

[Dan Soder]

So they were together for nine years.

[Adam Carolla]

Hold on.

[Brian Bishop]

We're getting back to Farah.

[Adam Carolla]

Farah was about 30 when she was.

[Brian Bishop]

Distracted by the pictures.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, where was I? I'm going to tell you guys. Speaking of boxing, Canelo and Triple G coming up. Saturday, September 16th. Man, the showdown fans have demanded Canelo Alvarez and Gennady Golovkin. Triple G, man, these guys. It's going to be a good middleweight championship fight.

[Dan Soder]

I've been waiting for this fight for about two years.

[Adam Carolla]

All hardcore boxing fans have been waiting for this fight because they waited for like Floyd to get together with Pacquiao. Pacquiao. But that was too late for everybody at that, at that point. A lot of those, those guys had a lot of miles on them at that point. And Triple G doesn't. And Canelo is like coming into his own and they're both strong and they both want to just trade and yeah.

[Dan Soder]

That both of their styles are just perfect for this fight. Just to keep coming forward.

[Adam Carolla]

It's going to be a great pay per view.

[Dan Soder]

Never been. I can't remember being this excited for a boxing match in probably 15 years.

[Adam Carolla]

Don't miss. It's Canelo versus Golovkin. Saturday, September 16, 8pm in the Eastern and 5pm Pacific. Out here, live pay per view. I think Canelo's going to call in, so we'll talk to him. His English a little spotty, but he's going to have a translator with him and I have questions for Canelo. So we'll do all that. But anyway, maybe after September, after the fight. No, no, sorry.

[Vinny Tortorich]

It'll be the beginning of next week.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. I got confused. That's what I'm thinking. September 16, 8pm 5pm Pacific. Live pay per view. Canelo and Triple G. All right, let's do one more.

[Gina Grad]

All right. Well, you might have been onto something, Adam, when you asked Kareem Abdul Jabbar about his own mortality because of his height.

[Adam Carolla]

Uncomfortable?

[Gina Grad]

Well, it turns out. Yeah, turns out. How tall you are might hold clues to your risk of various health problems. Problems such as blood clots, according to a study posted by cnn. So height can be an independent predictor of your risk for something called venous thrombombolism or VT else blood clots. This is according to the study published by Circulation cardiovascular Genetics. So that blood clot risk was lowest among short people and highest among tall people. In fact, one of the experts from the study says that the height in the population has increased and continues increasing, increasing, which could be contributing to the fact that in incidence of this thrombosis is increasing.

[Adam Carolla]

Got a blood clot. Katie Holmes. Yeah, she did. And the most talented man on the planet. Yeah, yeah. Jimmy Foxx, Dan Soder, Gina, Grandma Brian. Say it. Mahalo.

[Vinny Tortorich]

You're gone. Bring in my next boy.

[Giovanni]

All right, that's Ad Co Show 2154. The great Dan Soder and the great Vinny Torish along with the great Ganon Bryant. Interesting factoid about Dan. He was actually the board off for the affiliate station KMFA in Tucson that aired Loveline while he was in college. That was his job and he was essentially doing that from like 2002, 2003 through 2005. Towards the end of Adam's run on Loveline in 2005, he actually calls in, he identifies himself as Dan the Bordoff and he's trying to decide between moving to Los Angeles or New York City to pursue his career in comedy. The guest was Bill Bellamy and he actually gave him some really thoughtful advice along with Adam and Dan ultimately moved to New York City. His whole entire life and career developed because of that choice. It's a really fateful Loveline call and it's a really interesting connection to Adam Grill's history. Dan rules. Coming up next, we have adam K Show 2177. Also from 2017, the late great Gilbert Godfrey. Rest in peace, RJ Bell. Not in this portion. Gina Gratt and Brian Bishop. Hope you guys enjoy this fun appearance of Gilbert in studio. Very rare.

[Adam Carolla]

And now Alcoa presents Definitely not a Jew on the Adam Carolla show. Dateline, West Palm, Florida. A homeless 25 year old man was arrested after he ran naked and intoxicated through the parking lot of Washington Walmart. Definitely not a dude. Gilbert Gottfried is here. Gilbert is the name of the documentary. I watched it last night. I enjoyed it immensely. I knew I would. And it's gonna be out in limited Release. It'll be November 3rd, it'll be in New York and it'll be November 10th. It'll be in Los Angeles. And if you want to know about screenings, you can go to the website. Go to gil gilbertmovie.com. so you're a private guy. What made you agree to do the doc?

[Gilbert Gottfried]

Basically never really agreed and I'm just a pussy. It just shows how someone can get their way into my life or existence without me going, you know, no, get away from.

[Adam Carolla]

For me, I would think you're kidding, but I've had it happen to me a million times where people are going, why did you agree to do X, Y or Z? And I just kind of go, I don't know. They asked me and that was four months ago. And I said, fine. Yeah, I was walking to my car. If you asked me anything that takes place four months or more than now, I'd like, yeah, man, I'm going to my car.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

Yeah. And it was like. Because I couldn't. Well, the filmmakers, Neil Burke, he said, I've always dreamt of doing a Gilbert Godfrey documentary. And I said, well, you should set your dreams higher.

[Adam Carolla]

I started that dream nine months ago when Steve Martin turned me down. That's when I had my first premonition.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

And then Yakov Smirnoff, when he turned me.

[Adam Carolla]

When the day Geechee Guy turned me down. That's when I had a dream was earlier today.

[Brian Bishop]

Do you have Belzer's number?

[Adam Carolla]

Belzer's hugging Gilbert and the dock. Yeah. So, you know, Gilbert is like a great character that everyone knows and everyone loves and a comedian's comedian who tells jokes, which is an interesting thing because most the comedian's comedians end up being a little more in the Mort Saul era or range or. Or guys. Guys who are storytellers or they're interesting characters. They don't tell jokes set up. The wife came home from. The husband was in. So that's pretty good. It's a good mantle. So basically it's you and Dangerfield are like the two comedians. Comedians who tell jokes.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

Oh, yeah. And it is. Well, whenever a comedian will say something nice about another comedian, well, they've all.

[Adam Carolla]

Decided they love Gilbert and I feel the same way. And I remember, I think I met you in person at New York when we were doing Kevin and Bean, when Kevin and Bean used to go out to New York because MTV would have their music awards in New York. And we were broadcasting from the Television and Radio Museum that's right in the middle of Manhattan, like up on the sixth floor or something. And you came in and you want to know why there wasn't more food for you to Take home. I remember being poor and thinking, I'm poor.

[Brian Bishop]

That's on brand.

[Adam Carolla]

Do you remember, like Jimmy Kimmel from back then?

[Gilbert Gottfried]

That doesn't sound anything like me. Yeah. God. I mean, my MTV days are so long ago.

[Adam Carolla]

It's crazy, right?

[Gilbert Gottfried]

That seems like when I was on mtv, that seems like talking about. You remember, you know, playing with dinosaurs.

[Adam Carolla]

And stuff like that. It's the English version of being in the band Menudo. When you get old, it doesn't make sense. I have to think about me being on. I was on MTV every day for an hour, and I have to think back on it and freak out every once in a while. Like, how was I on mtv?

[Gilbert Gottfried]

Yeah, they used to have me do promos for them. And then I'd be a guest DJ and. And I go along on those, you know, Spring break.

[Brian Bishop]

So you heard of the spring break houses and all that stuff.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

Yeah. And now, boy, oh boy, I think I dreamed the whole thing.

[Adam Carolla]

I saw Gilbert again at the Heff Rose. Hugh Hefner, speaking of topical, obviously just passed away. And that was a weird thing. Cause it was like two weeks after 9 11, maybe 10 days after 9 11. Covered in buildings were entered in there. Yeah, covered in there. I'll plug in it you a joke. Because I remember sitting back there and everyone was thinking, I mean, this is in New York City. Yes, it's.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

There were black clouds still for like months afterwards.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. Who here dare do a 9 11? Which wasn't called 9 11? As Jeff Ross puts up. It was a few weeks ago.

[Brian Bishop]

That was really insightful. Jeff Ross. Like, this is two weeks later there wasn't called 9 11. It was like, hey, that crazy thing that happened like two Tuesdays ago.

[Adam Carolla]

Right? We'll play a little clip. You can hear Gilbert's joke. We were roasting Hugh Hefner just a couple of weeks after the Twin towers were knocked down. And back then, we didn't call it 911. It was just like a couple of Tuesdays ago. There it is.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

It was already a weird time to.

[Adam Carolla]

Be doing this big comedy event.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

But especially in New York, people are kind of walking around like zombies.

[Vinny Tortorich]

The one and only Gilbert Godfrey.

[Adam Carolla]

Even doing a roast so soon after was in bad taste.

[Brian Bishop]

Someone had to call it out. Someone had to make a joke.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

That's the way my mind works. I wanted basically address the elephant in the room. I have to catch a flight to California. I can't get a direct flight. They said they have to stop at the Empire State Building first.

[Adam Carolla]

Somebody yelled too soon. I was sitting back there for that.

[Brian Bishop]

Carol was tugging on his collar, going.

[Adam Carolla]

The roast. The Stamos joke, I love. And it just goes to show you, there's two things about the John Stamos joke from. I don't know from an. It was, I think, another roast, but I don't know why. Why?

[Brian Bishop]

Well, there was a roast of John Stamos that's probably.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, sorry.

[Brian Bishop]

Right, right.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Yes, a Stamos. It's always hard to tell because you roast everyone who's under the. You know, you'll get to the janitor eventually. Like, if they give you enough time, they just roast everyone who's up there, which you don't really know when you're going into it. You think you're there to, but doesn't matter. A joke. The thing that's interesting about a joke is some jokes are just funny and you know why they're funny. And some jokes are funny just because they're sort of rhythmically. And when you go, there's no place, you know, or you can do clean humor and be just as funny. Certain jokes need a blue streak to them and a punch. And the Stamos joke makes me laugh hysterically, but it's not even on paper a great joke. It just makes me laugh.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

So I'll let you. I'll play the Stamos. Just. I was watching it last night. Made me laugh.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

John Stamos walks into a bar. The bartender says, we have a drink named after you. John Stamos says, you have a drink named Secret Fag.

[Adam Carolla]

So great. I don't know why it makes me laugh so hard.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

Secret.

[Adam Carolla]

It's. I think the part that makes that a great joke is you have a drink called. Yeah, that's what Makes it. That's what Makes It Great. So it's a touching story, and it's a great movie. And Gilbert. Gilbert then goes on to chronicle the Affleck thing and all that stuff. And so I guess. Don't let me put words in your mouth, but let's just figure this out. From a psychodynamic standpoint. You think of yourself as a sweet little guy who never hurt anybody.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Who physically can't hurt anybody. And you don't really have anything about you. You know, you don't have anything against John Stamos or the people of New York City or the Japanese nation or anything. So you feel like I can say whatever I want because who cares? I don't. I don't mean anything. But it doesn't. Doesn't work. That Way.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

And people have forgotten the term. A fucking joke.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. Well, what people do is they go go all the time. They go. It's the same thing we're doing with free speech on campuses, which is like. No, no, no, listen. This is a free speech. No, this is a safe space for free speech. But not if I call it hate speech. And if I label it not free speaker, then there's no place for it.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

It's like, if I don't agree.

[Adam Carolla]

So the rules are everyone can come here and speak their mind and unfettered. Right? Yeah. Unless I disagree with what they're saying, then they can't. And that's like. Do you hear yourself when you say that? Because what you're saying is what I'm saying. But, yes, it's a joke. But that crossed the line.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

Exactly.

[Adam Carolla]

And then got what, an extra 80 people killed? Like, I reckon they go. It crossed the line. And they never go. And then.

[Brian Bishop]

And now here we are.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

I always feel like with this tsunami, did it add one more drop of water to this one?

[Adam Carolla]

Perhaps a tear, but yes, perhaps a tear. No, I agree. Then they. Everyone. And then it's real easy because.

[Vinny Tortorich]

Because.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay, if you defend Gilbert, you don't get paid, and if you want to rake him over the coals, you don't get paid. But one, you get to be a hero, and the other, you get to be a pariah. So either way, no money's going to change hands. But we at the View get to be heroes or you fill in local news. Whoever. Whoever it is, we get to be heroes. And either way, there's not going to be money, but we're going to get. Get a little social standing. Forget about.

[Gina Grad]

You know, I might. I'm sure this is incredibly naive and especially, you know, knowing you guys and coming here every day. Isn't it kind of true that if. If you kind of know somebody's heart.

[Adam Carolla]

Hold on. Joy Behar's calling.

[Brian Bishop]

Leave me out of this. Gilbert, it's you.

[Gina Grad]

It's Lisa Lampanelli. It's Gilbert Gottfried. Like, you kind of know where you stand. You kind of know what they're about. They're not evil people by any stretch of the imagination. So who gets a pass?

[Adam Carolla]

Well, okay, there's a couple of things. I don't know if anyone gets one these days. I can tell you it's my sort of Snoop Dogg gets to smoke weed in the green room at Kimmel, and I don't. Because if you saw me smoking weed, you'd be surprised. Until we have to Put that out. If you didn't see Snoop Dogg smoking weed, you'd be surprised.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

So you can turn yourself into Snoop Dogg. It takes a little while, but eventually you then get to smoke. Wee Dog can smoke weed wherever he wants.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Gilbert Godfrey can't.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

Oh, he could go on the Tonight.

[Adam Carolla]

Show and spark up a doobie. There's an element, like as a little bit of. Howard Stern has turned himself into someone who can almost say anything about anything, and it's just because it's Howard Stern. But Gilbert's getting there, too. Although he went the long way. So what? You know. So let's listen to what the ladies at the View. Let's let them read the Whoopi. You want the one that.

[Vinny Tortorich]

Do you want the one that includes.

[Adam Carolla]

His wife or just Whoopi? Oh, let's do. Let's do your wife and. And Whoopi. I'm sorry, what is your wife's name?

[Gilbert Gottfried]

Oh, Dara.

[Adam Carolla]

Dara.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

I had to think about it.

[Adam Carolla]

I know. Oh, wow.

[Gina Grad]

These are the tweets that got him fired from aflac.

[Brian Bishop]

You're holding a printout.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, I guess. I guess I printed them.

[Adam Carolla]

We took them down.

[Gina Grad]

We deleted them from Twitter, and I guess I found them somewhere online and I printed them just to have. Japan is really advanced. They don't go to the beach, the.

[Adam Carolla]

Beach comes to them. That's it.

[Brian Bishop]

Just that one?

[Gina Grad]

No, I was talking to my Japanese real estate agent. I said, is there a school in the area? She said, not now, but just wait.

[Adam Carolla]

What did you say this was? How is this the day of. Day after?

[Gilbert Gottfried]

Yeah, this was while it was going on or day before.

[Adam Carolla]

Nostradamus. Shecky Nostradamus. A comedian who can see, who can insult in the future.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

It's in my quatrain.

[Adam Carolla]

So then they go into the View, and the folks over at the View have to get up on their head tomorrow.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

Realistic folks.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right. I have to explain why it's wrong. And the thing I like about it is Whoopi has to read it. But explain that's not. Hold on. Whoopi.

[Brian Bishop]

She has to distance herself.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. I'll tell you what. Here's how we'll know. It's not your joke. It's funny. You don't have to. We can just qualify it. That's how we'll tell if your joy make us laugh, then we'll know you're reading one of Gilbert's jokes. Inappropriate is one thing, but I'm going.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

When you got lives lost to make jokes.

[Dan Soder]

Jokes like this.

[Adam Carolla]

It's in.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

Here's one. But I need you people who are watching this to understand this is not my joke.

[Gina Grad]

You feel you have to read it, maybe. Well, you.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't think you'll understand unless you know it's. It's. I think you need to read it. You got to read it. I just broke up with my girlfriend.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

But as the Japanese say, there'll be another one floating by any minute now.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, I like that people laugh.

[Brian Bishop]

I know. I was gonna say my favorite sick moment was when the audience reflexively laughed because it was a funny joke. You know, none of them wanted to.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

None of them wanted.

[Brian Bishop]

Every fiber in their being was like, don't laugh at that. Don't laugh at that. And there was, like, a little ripple of laughter.

[Adam Carolla]

So the question. So now I get the Kush gigs, because, I mean, I understand them. I don't get them. I understand them. Which is. Gilbert. I just had this conversation with my wife, which is. You know, there's a scene of Gilbert taking the shuttle bus, taking the municipal bus to the airport, pushing the suitcase along with the merch in it, and blah, blah, blah. You know, I just got back from playing park west in Chicago, and I was talking to Matt Fondelier 10 days before leaving, and I said, what's the flight accommodations? And he was like, you're flying first class, and August is flying coach and whatever. And I said, how long is the flight? It's four hours there and four and a half back or something. I said, what's my ticket cost? He's like, $1,700. I'm like, I'm just going there to get money. Like, I'm just going there to get paid. So smash cut to me and Mike sitting on Southwest in the middle aisle in a 69 position. I guess we didn't have to do that, but it made us more. I wanted to use the hell out of that neck donut. And you really can't do it just by nodding off your own seat. You got to get inverted. So I understand that, like, you are going there. You are not eating out at fancy restaurants. You're taking the bus. You're seeing if a fan can pick you up from the airport so you don't have to pay for Uber. Like, you're going there to make money. And especially when you do the one show Thursday, two shows, Friday, two shows. Look, whatever you want to say, it's a good way to make money. It's better than roofing. And, yes, everyone enjoys themselves up on stage or they feel good when they walk up to, but you're not going for any reason other than the money. And so everything you spend on a first class air ticket or an Uber X or black or whatever it is, you got to back right on out of why you're going. You're defeating your own purpose. So I know how these things go. And some gigs are better than others, but some are a lot of work for by the time you're done with your booker and the agent, manager and taxes and everything, it's not a whole lot lot there. You get something like Aflac, you got not leave, walk, you know, record, go back to your sleep in your bed.

[Gina Grad]

That night instead of the check cashing business.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. So you want those kind of gigs. It's just cash wise, it's a hell of a lot easier, right?

[Gilbert Gottfried]

Sure.

[Adam Carolla]

But what people don't know is, and I don't know either, they go, oh, it was the greatest gig in the world. Gilbert. Oh man, he got, you know, he screwed himself this and that there. I don't know what was that gig? How many years did you do it?

[Gilbert Gottfried]

A few years. And it was one of those things like when I got fired and I was like, you know, Hitler was a nice guy next to me.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

It was like I, I always compared it to like, it's like if you wake up every morning feeling life eating a bowl of corn flakes, and then one day you wake up, eat a bowl of cornflakes and all hell breaks loose.

[Adam Carolla]

Right?

[Gilbert Gottfried]

And that's the way I felt about it. I thought, well, wait a minute, I wasn't trying for anything, I was trying to make jokes.

[Gina Grad]

You haven't changed, but everyone else has around you.

[Adam Carolla]

Is it so? And I know you probably don't want to divulge the specifics, but when you would do like that campaign, you have to go in and record. I mean, you know, you did some commercial, some stuff on television, but for the VO stuff, would you have to.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

Go and record every time stuff, there was a new recording each time. You think they would fight? I'd say once.

[Adam Carolla]

And was this like a big multi year contract?

[Gilbert Gottfried]

It seemed to be. Of course, one thing I know is that when my agents were negotiating with them for a new year or so, they were arguing and someone at Aflac said to them, you know, we can just hire someone else to do the voice.

[Adam Carolla]

Uh huh.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

And I thought, ooh, that makes the firing kind of convenient. That makes their outrage disingenuous.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, right. So they're just gonna fold the pressure but is this like, are we talking about half a million dollars a year? More or less.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

It was a lot of money.

[Adam Carolla]

That much?

[Gilbert Gottfried]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

I don't.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, he does. But the promise is that's part of the neurosis. But what I'm saying is, is when you go to Senior Clown Men.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

And you're playing five shows on a weekend. Yeah. You walk out of there with $31,000 or something and then you gotta back out to air travel in the hotel. Whatever it is, it's good. You go. That's pretty good. But if you can stay in town, make half a million bucks and it takes a couple of days, that's a lot of trips out to the clubs and that's a big, big deal. So how's your sister's health? Your sister had cancer in the doc.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

That's past news now.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, she passed away. Yeah. Oh.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

Couple of weeks ago.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, you guys were very close.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

That's rough. I was it now. It's such a weird. It's such a weird. Some people are very close. Some people are. She lived in Manhattan. She was in the city. What is your background? She was older. Younger.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

She was older.

[Adam Carolla]

She was older. And you guys grew up and how did you grow up and then how did this whole thing kind of come to be?

[Gilbert Gottfried]

Oh, well, we grew up in Brooklyn. You know, first Coney island, then Crown Heights, then Borough park and then, you know, we eventually moved to Manhattan and. Oh, well, how did what come to be?

[Gina Grad]

Well, I mean, start from the very beginning.

[Adam Carolla]

You started. You got into comedy early.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

Oh, oh, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And she moved. You both moved. You're always very tight. Brother and sister.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

She's older. She looked out for you. I mean, I can imagine you're a kid who probably got a little flack from back when bullying was cool. Was all the rage when Gilbert was in grade school. Oh, God, you just seem like a perfect. You really seem like that's just a perfect, like a role model for inspiration for bullying. Inspiration for many bullies. Yeah, yeah. Like at the Seminole and stuff. They probably show pictures of you. They have like a mannequin of 13 year old Gilbert that could practice wedgies on. He's the amuse. Then a guy's telling your technique's a little bad. Well, I'm left handed. Okay. All right, all right.

[Brian Bishop]

That's all.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

They're like in the gym where they have that body and head. That would be. They had one of me.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, because first off, you have to understand, bullying was not easy, even a thing it was just. What is horseplay? There was no such thing as, you know, there's a campaign about or that go bullying or like, you know, NFL players are speaking out. Like, there's nothing. It was just like, yeah, he's being bullied. Well, is he shorter than the other kids? Yes. Yes. Well, does he have a big nose? Well, then he should. Well, then, what do you expect? This is nature taking his course. Leave him alone.

[Brian Bishop]

This is the way of things.

[Adam Carolla]

Let me see him. Oh, yeah, yeah, let's bully him. Like, that's the counselors. Like, there wasn't anything you could do. You just had to deal with it.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

It was like, particularly in show business, like years ago, there was no such a thing as a guy, a comedian or actor or any performer who was an alcoholic.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

They all drank.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

They were all bombed out of their skulls and they didn't move movies and TV and they. They were bombed.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. And you couldn't tell how drunk the person was because the co star was just as drunk. Exactly. There was.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

They were both wobbling.

[Adam Carolla]

There was no dime for scale.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

So you were, you were bullied, right?

[Gilbert Gottfried]

Oh, of course.

[Adam Carolla]

Junior high. Yeah. I mean, just the name Gilbert is good for like three bully points. And then being shorter than everybody and being different. Different. And then now. So did your sister stand up for you? Not.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

There. But I will say one thing with my sister that enters into my career is that I remember I was getting interested in show business and then somebody told her that there's some kind of club that you could go over, sign your name on their list, and then you wait around, they say, they announce your name and you go on your. And that was the first time I performed anywhere and I was like 15.

[Adam Carolla]

Was that in the city?

[Gilbert Gottfried]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And what did your sister do professionally?

[Gilbert Gottfried]

Oh, well, Arlene was a photographer and she's going to be at what is. At the Taschen Gallery.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, yeah. In Beverly Hills.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, really?

[Gilbert Gottfried]

So she was pretty accomplished having a showing there.

[Adam Carolla]

I. It'd be a fitting tribute for those of you who are listening to go by there and take a look at her stuff. Right. It's just pictures of Gilbert in different lighting. It looks like Tab Hunter, though. She's amazing.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

You know what's funny? Getting back to the View clip where they have to. To repeat the jokes. That's what the news like the news who want to protect us from bad taste. And so they were all telling my tweets.

[Adam Carolla]

A little bit ironic that your tweets would have reached X amount of People had the view and everyone else not picked it up and ran with it like X. However many. Look, you have 250,000 followers or whatever it is, any given tweet or tweets might land on the computer or be read by or ingested by a percentage of those people.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

Like when the big shocking thing happened with Janet Jackson, a total accident malfunction. I wasn't watching an award show, but I saw it five super bowl, thousand times.

[Adam Carolla]

Right, right.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, this is, of course, the irony of everyone being this sort of social justice warrior is you wouldn't even known what this was until it was now brought to your attention.

[Gina Grad]

And so you step to the side.

[Adam Carolla]

And point at somebody else through the heroes. They're doing all the heavy lifting in society.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

I always found, like, especially when tragedies happen, you could send money or you could go there and help out with the effort, or you could get offended that somebody else wasn't as respectful as they could be. And then you sit at home and pat yourself on the back. And I'm a good person.

[Adam Carolla]

No, it's just. It's a very interesting phenomenon which is going on more and more. Which is. Is it used to be one box or two box? There's an A and a B, but there wasn't a C. If there was some tragedy and it didn't matter if it took place in Vegas or it didn't matter if it took place, you know, stateside or abroad. You had A or B. A, cut a check, most likely easier. B, go there like, go there like Sean Penn with a shotgun and a shovel and get, like, rolling. Go over there and really let your feet do your to talking. Or C, shut the fuck up.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

Exactly.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

Exactly.

[Adam Carolla]

But we have this great extra box now. Now we can check C. And here's what. I don't want to go to Japan and get tetanus.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't want to cut a check because I like my money, but I would like to be regarded as kind of a hero.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

So let's see. Getting on an airplane in my own expense, off the table. Giving people money at my own expense, off the table. What if I just took to Twitter and tore some comedian a new asshole?

[Gilbert Gottfried]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Then I get my hero status, but I never have to get on a plane and it cost out a check. And that's going on now 24 7.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

Everywhere with everything, told the world that I was outraged. That makes me the next Christ, I gotta say.

[Adam Carolla]

Say there's a thing reminds me I've had it happen A million times. Oh, God. Oh. I said once, hey, listen, in terms of, like, reparations and slavery that we're talking about, I said, listen, my family's from Sicily, and they don't know anything. They were poor people from Sicily, got here, you know, 50 years ago. And then my wife's family was all born in, like, Palermo. They speak with. They spoke with accents and stuff. They weren't born here. So I don't know what part of the slavery equation we need to make up for when no one was here. My dad had half a donkey when he was 9. Nobody had any plantations. We didn't own land. We didn't own cars. We didn't own anything. We don't own people. Like, what are we supposed to do? And then I said, I got three nephews. Their father is born in Germany. He's a German dude. And they're straight. What are they supposed to be part of the Holocaust? Like, are they supposed to make reparations? Are they supposed to apologize? Like, what are they supposed to do? The Holocaust is closer to now than slavery was. I got three nephews. They're nice kids. Are we supposed to say, hey, man, look, you're partially responsible. You need to make it up to. They have nothing to do with it. Their dad's born in Germany and their mom was born in Van Nuys. And now they're here. Of course, somebody reported my sister that I called. My nephew's not Nazis, which I love. And I like the person that's like, I just thought you had to know. I just thought you needed. You'd want to know. And then not only thought you wanted to know. Why would you want to know this? Number one, it's very hurtful. Number two, I'm going to tweak it just enough to make it good. Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

Make it worth it.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm going to make. When I'm actually using them as an example as to why they shouldn't be, you know, they're not partially responsible for the Holocaust, or somehow they have to have that in their rearview mirror. Like, hey, man, no, they shouldn't. They should have nothing to do with it. It shouldn't be any part of their life, and they should be zero part responsible. That was the example. But what was fed to my sister was I called them Nazis.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, God.

[Adam Carolla]

Who are these people and why can't they kill themselves?

[Gilbert Gottfried]

It's out of sensitivity. They're telling your sister, right?

[Adam Carolla]

I've had it with school teachers. Your kids are getting old enough where you start making jokes about their school or the teachers or what they did or open house or something. And then somebody feeds it right back. I thought you should know. The teacher didn't hear anything. Yeah, somebody gave it to the teacher and again they took it and they put just a bunch of bitter herbs on it and then they slid it across the table.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

It's kind of like when you do a show or a TV thing or, and, and you get loads of great reviews and then there's always someone who says, well, I found this one review that said you suck. It was in some, you know, Penny Saver in the middle of nowhere and. But we, we. I have to show you.

[Adam Carolla]

I thought you'd want to see this.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I don't know, it's, it's, it's a weird instinct.

[Brian Bishop]

Like Gilbert said, it's under the idea of sensitivity. Like, yes, this should be, this needs to be out there.

[Vinny Tortorich]

You need to know this.

[Adam Carolla]

Many too many people suffer from it and I'm not sure what it is. I'll tell you my loose theory, my loose. Probably my description of what's going on will be much more offensive than anything Gilbert's ever said, so be prepared for that. First, I'll tell you about the true car, man. TrueCar can help you save new or used over 700,000 pre owned vehicles from over 13,000 TrueCar certified dealers nationwide. So whether you're looking to buy new or you're looking to buy used, you get the upfront pricing, you get the info, you get the discounts off the list price, you get a better buying experience. Whether you want a new car, a new truck, or perhaps a new bus that Gilbert can take to the air airport. Too damn cheap for an Uber. You see what other people's paid for the exact same car. You get fair price. You connect with a local certified dealer and enjoy a quick, easy buying experience. And when you're ready to buy new or used, you go with TrueCar owned. Chris Lac Samana did it over here. That's his real name. And he got himself a Prius with 200 miles on. So it was new, but it was technically used. True car. Some features not available in all states. I wrote a book called In 50 Years Will All Be Chicks. That was like seven years ago and we're going hard into chicks. The gossip gene, that was kind of a. That was the woman's. The coffee class, they took care of that. And the guys went and were lumberjacked somewhere. We've turned the men into gossip queens because we decided Dr. Drew used to tell me this all the time. It's basically. Basically, here's the problem. Evolution is on the woman's side. Men were cave in caves. They bonked people over the head. They grabbed women by the hair, they dragged them into the cave, they raped them. Men would be nothing but fighting each other and raping everyone and everything. And women kind of took men and brought them toward the daylight. Yeah. They went, hey, no, no, you need to stay at home. You can't go out whore. Or at least you can't go out whoring and tell me about it. Oh, yeah, you can't. Baby steps. Yeah. All the things that guys used to do, we've decided no mas. There's no more of this. And it became sort of the feminine way, became the evolved way. And they're basically right. It's just a certain point we needed to stop and we haven't stopped. We're just still going. And now all the guys are sitting home gossiping. And eventually we're just, just going to be one sex. That is no sex.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

Yeah, that, that's. It is.

[Adam Carolla]

When did it become okay for guys to gossip?

[Gilbert Gottfried]

Oh, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

When did that become okay? It never was. When I was. When I was younger.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

Fine. To like the beauty parlor. Like the two women with their heads in the hair dryers going back.

[Adam Carolla]

And then every sitcom they couldn't hear. Oh, yes, they would be blowing in their head. Every, every hack sitcom writer had the exact same idea for the exact same joke at the exact same time. What the hell.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

Yeah, they can either use that joke or a joke with putting too much suds in the washing machine.

[Adam Carolla]

Those are our two jokes. Yeah. Oh, mom, I'll do the laundry or the husband will do the laundry. Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

All hell breaks loose.

[Adam Carolla]

There was. There was that one too.

[Gina Grad]

It was always very shaming to gossip around dudes because you did.

[Adam Carolla]

You.

[Gina Grad]

They'd be like, like, please, you're being so immature. This is so juvenile. Now they're the ones running into the.

[Adam Carolla]

Room to tell you, yeah, guys are the tip of the gossip spear. And I don't think that's evolution. And if it is, we should knock it off. Cause this thing where. And now we have a modality. Obviously in the past it was confined to the hair salon and now it's just the computer and it's everywhere and it's retweets and it's pushed out. I mean, there's no, there's no governor anymore. It can't be stopped. So for you, do you tweet on a regular basis? And can you stop Yourself before you tweet again.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

Yeah. I always say, like, I think twice, but I do it anyway. And it really is. Well, how I, you know, one thing I've said before is like the Internet makes me feel sentimental for old time lynch mobs.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

Because they had to go out and get their hands dirty.

[Adam Carolla]

They had to burn some calories.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Now you just be lynched.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

Yeah. You sit in your underwear at home and create your own lynch mobs.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. It's, you know, what's happening in a way, it's kind of the same thing that's happening with people getting addicted to porn or Vicodin or whatever it is. It's so easy now. We all had this part, this, this ugly part of us that we weren't supposed to be too proud of. There was like, that guy's different or he said something or he's not on my team. I want to get him. But getting him could be. Could involve getting punched.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

Oh, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Or shot or stabbed. And so we kind of let the discretion be the better part of valor. It's like, I want to go get that guy. But a duel is a pretty big commitment, you know? But now, just like not having to go to Japan with a bilge pump and not having to write a check to the Japanese embassy, I get to be a hero from my own computer. I will give in to that. Right. We don't talk about that. It's kind of weird.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

Yeah, it's. Everyone now can. Yeah, everyone now can be a hero without doing anything.

[Gina Grad]

Well, it's like what you say about gravity. There's no gravity involved in just tweeting into the ether.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. But there's a danger. And the danger is when you. For instance, let's say now we call everyone a racist or homophobic or bigoted or whatever it is. When I see 10 years ago, let's say in the late 90s, early 2000s, when Dr. Drew and I would travel every weekend and go play a of couple college. And I walked through the airport on the rare occasion I saw a citizen with a dog. I just assumed that it was a dog that helped that person because that person was seeing impaired or was injured in Vietnam or something like that person, that dog that goes together. And that's fine with me. I guess that guy needs that dog to get around or whatever it is. Now if I go to an airport, I see a person with a dog. I'm like that crazy, crazy. She fucking need that dog. I better be on my flight. So I think nothing of it. Right. What Happened. Yeah, well, you've ruined it for me now. Maybe the person I see at the airport this weekend is an actual veteran who needs this dog. But it doesn't matter.

[Gina Grad]

It doesn't register.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm still gonna think it's a nut job who wants to fly for free with their dog because you guys over, you abuse this power.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

And then if some. Something bad, if someone does something really bad, it just fades in with everybody else who's a villain.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. You got, you got. I'm trying to think of the three, you know, this week. You got, you got. The guy did the shooting in Vegas, Harvey Weinstein and Mike Pence. They're all about.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

They make an argument for how. Yeah, I mean, it's like that's in your mind. It just kind of goes down as that way. Yeah. They were not making a big enough separation between the people actually are killing people and the folks that are protesting or taking advantage of like, you know, I'm not here to defend everyone. I'm saying, let's please have a scale.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

Well, when I was in the papers all the time with the big scandal, there were reporters and photographers in front of my building the entire time. They would be, you know, parked there and they would like jump out of doorways. And I thought, me, right. Really? This is the.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, also, not that Gilbert's not easy on the eyes, but is there someone you need a picture of? Less than someone who sends a tweet out. He's got the man. I don't get looks, but I'm saying, people, he sent a tweet out. You know, it's like one thing where he was caught with a ski instructor. They're making salacious love on the mountain. Like, it's not. If you send a tweet out. We don't really need a picture of the guy who sent the tweet out.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

I think if Martians landed and dug through our stuff and said, okay, oh, what was this terrible villain? Gilbert Gottfried? Oh, he made a joke. Well, he was a comedian. Don't they make jokes?

[Adam Carolla]

Shit.

[Brian Bishop]

He was doing his job.

[Adam Carolla]

If you really wanna break it down non English speaking countries, you know, I mean, it's not like a whole bunch of farmers and folks in Japan were gonna read Gilbert's tweet. I don't know. You had a translator on staff. But I just mean, who there is gonna read what you're doing?

[Gilbert Gottfried]

Yeah. If 9,000 foot waves are coming at you and. And you're like looking up Gilbert Godfrey on the Internet.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

What you guys are kind of alluding to is now the thing is to be outraged on someone else's behalf. No one who was victimized by the tsunami was outraged. People were outraged for them.

[Vinny Tortorich]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. There is a ton of that. And look, I get like, my feeling is if they're dead bodies, I try to stay away from the humor in terms of, of when people go bazonkers over Cecil the Lion. I just go, it's a lion. And you know, I like lions, but I'm not going to go nuts, but somebody loses their kids in a plane crash or something. It's just for me, if there's dead bodies, I stay away from it. But you should be able to say whatever. Gilbert Godfrey should be able to say whatever he wants about anything. Brian.

[Brian Bishop]

Yes, I did love the way the documentary the, that we saw brought it around sort of full circle by the end. You know, they had a great moment. I won't give away too much, but a dad is telling a heartrending story about, you know, his daughter going through a health struggle and there are, you know, tears in the audience. And this is at a corporate gig that Gilbert's doing and he's gotta follow that.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

Yeah. St. Jude's house, desperate.

[Brian Bishop]

And you were, you were, you know, obviously, you know, a little wary about going up and doing comedy after this. But then you do the comedy and everyone is laughing and they're welcoming those laughs because following on the heels of this tragedy or a tragedy, tragedy, sometimes laughter is quote, unquote, you know, the best medicine.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, they're showing they needed that laugh.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

And it's, it's so. Yeah, because, yeah, they had. Or you go nuts if you take it all in. And I remember one woman reporter comes to my house and was treating me like I blew up an orphanage.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

And she just attacking me the whole time. And then I said one joke to make a point about something, and it was like a rape joke. And she like starts to laugh and cover her. Covers her mouth, right? And I thought, well, here, you got it right here. She's now laughing at a bad taste joke, but covering herself to show, oh, I know it's wrong.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I love it when people say, look, I have a good sense of humor. I this.

[Brian Bishop]

I can laugh at a joke as.

[Adam Carolla]

Much as the next guy I gotta do. But this did what for you cross the line. But. So we're talking about your sensibilities and your sense of humor, but why do you get to be the arbiter? God damn it. Hold on one second. First I'll tell you a story first I'll tell you about Geico man. Everybody, everybody's got the to do list. You pick up the dry cleaning and drop off or get the milk or whatever it is. How about you save hundreds of dollars on your car insurance and you don't have to drop anything off or pick anything up. Just go to geico.com, that's geico.com 15 minutes. You could be saving 15% or more on your auto insurance extra money. Put it in your pocket. Be about the most rewarding thing you can do today. Go to geico.com that's geico.com 15 minutes could save you 15% or more on your car insurance. Gilbert is the name of the movie. We all highly recommend it. It's going to come out soon. If you're on the east coast or the west coast. New York's coming out November 3rd and then the 10th in Los Angeles. You can go to the website gilbertmovie.com Also, lots of dates coming up for Gilbert. You can go to gilbertgotfrey.com for all the dates, live dates, touring and all that, if you like. Yeah.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

Oh, and my podcast is Gilbert Gottfried's amazing colossal podcast.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. As depicted as shown in the movie.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

I had this. I was just talking to my wife about why I'm glad I moved out of Hollywood. I hate Hollywood. But I was coaching at the wall. Why the YMCA in Hollywood. If you ever want to see folks work out in full fatigues and boots, go to that. Why? The crazier the town is, the more people work out and less appropriate. These are the guys who do the combat workout. I hate those dicks. It's turning into like he's in the Marines. I hate those guys. But anyway, thank you for your service. I agreed to Coach My son's 7 year old basketball team and the team had like black kids and white kids and every, every kind of kid on it. And they all had these crazy, you know, names of river and Moses and just crazy, just Moses in the river. It's just all kinds of stupid Hollywood names, you know. And I did a bit on Kevin and Bean about the names and sort of the punchline was I would say, say I couldn't remember everyone's name. So I was like, hey Jew fro, you're in for Half Breed. You know, And I was making jokes, but I gave it some thought beforehand which was there weren't any Jewish kids and half breeds American Indian. It's the Cher song Half Breed. Right. All right, so I'M like, all right. And at the end of one of the games that I'd coached the black woman who was the mother of two of the black kids who were half black, although I did not know they were half black. This seemed like black kids to me. But the mom.

[Brian Bishop]

Twice black.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

It should have been a given.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. They said. She came over to me. She was walking over to me. I was like, oh, she's gonna thank me for coaching the kids. And instead, she explained that she was like, head of comedy at some crap network, but she had a great sense of humor. But she. Now, she didn't hear it herself, but she was told that I called her kids half breed. And I was like, which kids are yours? She's like, there are two. They're half African American. I'm like, first off, I don't know that. But then secondly, half breed's not. You don't call half black half breed. That's American Indian thing. And she's just gonna. It wasn't gonna stop her from settling my hat. You wanna talk about a narcissistic cunt? That's her. Because she decided to make something about her that had nothing to do do with her. Miss, I have a great sense of humor. I work for TBS in the comedy department. I'm going to. Then settle your hash. I'm so fucking glad I got out of that shithole known as Hollywood, because that's all it is, is a bunch of pretentious, narcissistic, douchebag parents who are so narcissistic that every road leads to them, every comment is about them. Everything's about them and their kids. Fuck you.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

When she said she was the head of comedy, that immediately. It's a contradiction in terms to say, yeah, you know, I've got a great.

[Adam Carolla]

Just thought I should. God, I'm so fucking glad to be out of that shithole. Please, somebody tell her I was talking about her. This way, please. The same Jew she reported about Kevin and Bean. Please get that back to this bitch. God damn it.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

That's what gets me, too.

[Adam Carolla]

Like, all it does, by the way, is make me go, fuck this. I'm never coaching again. Yeah, like, I just. I just went home and went, forget it. It.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

This is a nice guy.

[Adam Carolla]

Mission accomplished.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

Yeah. Now it all.

[Adam Carolla]

It. I'm gonna go home and eat. Yeah, sorry. Go ahead, Gilbert.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

Yeah, and it also gets me, like, when, like, disc jockeys and whatnot get in trouble and. Or like, who on tv. A couple of TV hosts got in trouble, and it's like, you Go, Okay. You're hiring them for the shock value of the terrible things they might say. And then when they say it, you.

[Gina Grad]

Get all holy and they'll never tell you what the line is. They'll just know it when they hear it.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

Yes. Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. I imagine we're just gonna swing back the other direction.

[Brian Bishop]

It feels like it's coming, right?

[Gilbert Gottfried]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

I think it's just kind of going to be ten years from now. We're all. It's all going to be, well, welcome to the Bukkaki Cage Fighting Network. Now, I know there are many others, but we're the first. There are many imitators, but we're the best. Now, you can find Cage bukkake just about anywhere. And I know it's cage bukkake 24 7, but we are the originators of Cage. We came way back in 2019. We were running it. And you tell those fighting 360 to suck it. Literally. Yeah, we're just going. We're just gonna go off the other end. We're gonna go from what hair bands did to Nirvana. We're gonna go all full. We're gonna go from Cinderella to Nirvana. We're just gonna swing back and that's all it's gonna be.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

I think a lot of the votes that Trump got were basically because he was saying shit that you got go, oh, wow, he shouldn't be saying that.

[Adam Carolla]

But, you know, I think he got.

[Brian Bishop]

It was a rejection of.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I think he got a lot of. I think he got a lot of secret votes. Because in a world where everybody. Now, everyone's on notice, nobody can state their opinion or tweet or do whatever. Everyone's got to be careful all the time, wherever you are. But you could go into this booth and shut the curtain behind you and you could speak your mind and then come out. And that's why I always believe whenever I would hear the polling, I would go, yeah, but at least 10% of those people are lying. Right. They don't want to deal with it. So I think he got a lot of backlash votes. And I think. I don't know. But my assumption is if the Democrats would like to get in the office next time around, I don't think going further down the everyone's a racist rat hole is a great strategy. I just think start talking economics middle class, getting the school systems or safety or policing or taxes or something. Just everyone's a racist. It's just gonna make everyone go further. Or maybe they go, you know, What? Maybe the inner racist has been a woke. Yeah, yeah.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

Maybe it'll switch around and people start saying, hey, I like being a racist.

[Gina Grad]

Don't shame me for my racist tendency.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, Whatever Lance Bass did with his sexuality, maybe I'll do it with being a racist. Like, you know what? I'm coming out. I'm gonna go to a racist bar.

[Brian Bishop]

Hello, People magazine.

[Adam Carolla]

Have I got a story for you. So, Gilbert, you are. How many. How many days? How many shows a year? How many dates you think you do? How much touring do you do?

[Gilbert Gottfried]

Oh, my God. All sudden of. A lot.

[Adam Carolla]

A lot.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

Yeah, I'm always. I think just about every weekend I'm going away somewhere. And it's.

[Adam Carolla]

It's.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

It's weird because I always. Whenever I get my agents, calls me and says, oh, we're booking you and wherever. I always cringe.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

And I always hate it. And it's like, I try to remind myself, it's like, oh, so you hate the fact that you're in demand in show business. But, yeah, I always dread going out to do these things.

[Adam Carolla]

It's a weird wiring. I have it as well. And if anybody. If you could work on one thing in terms of just overall happiness, that would be the one thing to focus on, which is. We all know that theme because they go, look, do you want to go out to X, Y and Z? Or. I booked the xyz. And there's that thing where you go. You have that little, like, I gotta get on a plane. You picture yourself doing all the parts of it you don't like.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

You never picture yourself doing the.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

Hanging out in a hotel with terrible tv.

[Adam Carolla]

Right?

[Gilbert Gottfried]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. That's the worst kind of ticket tv. It's not your tv. Tv.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

Yes. Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

It's a lot of local weather and a lot of volleyball and a lot of you not being able to control things. And the saddest moment is when you pick up the remote and you pretend it's yours and you try to pause, but it doesn't do anything.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

Can we live in a world. Oh, can we live in this world from a technological standpoint, can we move into this world, which is. I will be coming to the Renaissance in Chicago, and I'll be coming there on the 23rd. Here are the TV shows I would like preloaded.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

Oh, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Into your TiVo system to be waiting in room 229B for my arrival for these three days. Right away, you say that, and all of a sudden I'm like a junkie. You just gotta hit A horse. Like, I'm like, yeah, okay, I can travel. Okay, I can do this. Like, you do feel like it's like, guys in bands that are strung out on heroin, and then you go, we're going to China to do a gig on the Great Wall. And they're like, their first thought is, my God, how am I gonna get heroin?

[Gilbert Gottfried]

Oh, interesting.

[Adam Carolla]

Like, I can't travel. I need my heroin. And then they get busted in the airport or whatever it is. Like, my first thoughts are, where are my TV shows? Yeah, could we have that? And I know Gary says sling box, but I think we've proved that doesn't work, Gary. Not for this podcast. Certainly not. Would that be a great hotel service where they go, we will have your shows waiting for you.

[Brian Bishop]

You would be a brand loyalist in that case. Like, if you were like. Or a gold member at, like, spg and, like, they were the ones that did it for you. You'd only stayed at, like, Sheraton properties.

[Adam Carolla]

Certainly wouldn't work for you. But there is a new YouTube service where you can subscribe to TV through YouTube. So presumably you can go to any computer, log in, and your DVR is right there.

[Gina Grad]

Gary, did you just start this with, it wouldn't work for you.

[Vinny Tortorich]

Certainly not.

[Adam Carolla]

It would not work for me.

[Vinny Tortorich]

None of the solutions that will work for civilians will work for us.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

Wait, I'm hop holding the hotel remote. I also go, oh, wait, I didn't hear that line. Where's the rewind?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, that's what I do too. I want to hear it again. All right. If we could get your pillow and your TV shows, you'd be halfway there, right? It's the pillow in the TV show and whatever makes noise in your room. The weird noise, the fan thing that's on over there. The thing with the thing with the water and the thing and the fan, whatever that. Whatever your noise is. And look, you're in Manhattan. It could be the occasional siren or the garbage trucking up or whatever. If we could get your pillow, your noise, and your TV show, I would be brand loyal.

[Brian Bishop]

Doesn't seem that hard, that big of a leap.

[Adam Carolla]

I feel like we could take care of it. All right, so till next time, Sam Kroll for Gilbert Gottfried and Gina Graham o' Brien saying Mahalo.

[Gilbert Gottfried]

Hitler was a nice guy next to me.

[Adam Carolla]

Follow the Adam Carolla show on Twitter at Adam Corolla show. Follow us on Twitter at Adam Carolla. Here's the phone number. If you want to leave us a voicemail, please do 888-634-1744. And for everything, Adam corolla, go to adamcola.

[Giovanni]

All right, this is Adam Cooler Show 2177 with the late great Gilbert cobb reading the studio. Rest in peace. I hope you guys enjoyed that clip. That does it for days. Cruel classics. Make sure to tune in tomorrow for an all new installment. Until then, mahalo and get it.

[Dan Soder]

Sa.