Erica Rhodes Explains the Difference Between Stalkers and Fans for Men vs Women

Summary

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The Adam Carolla Show – Episode Summary

Erica Rhodes Explains the Difference Between Stalkers and Fans for Men vs Women

Date: January 14, 2026
Host: Adam Carolla
Guest: Erica Rhodes (comedian)
News Contributor: Adam Yenzer

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Episode Overview

This episode features comedian Erica Rhodes joining Adam Carolla for a lively, candid conversation about comedy life, gender differences in fan interactions, and a host of cultural and societal issues that the show is known for dissecting. The episode delivers Carolla’s signature blend of no-holds-barred humor, social commentary, and personal anecdotes, with segments ranging from the distinction between stalkers and super-fans (for men vs. women), celebrity parents and confidence, service industry rants, the consequences of "chick think" in politics, and the pitfalls of political correctness and awards in Hollywood.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Road Life & Gendered Experiences in Comedy

[01:43–06:43]

• Touring as a Female Comedian: Erica talks about life on the road, emphasizing that traveling as a woman brings its own set of annoyances and risks, like taking rides with strangers from airports and odd encounters with fans.
• Difference in Fan Behavior:
  • Adam suggests women in comedy face unique challenges with overly persistent audience members.
  • Erica recounts having “stalker situations”—men following her across state lines to shows.
  • Memorable quote:
    • Erica: “They had to. A couple of them were asked to leave eventually. Cause they were just coming to the…”
      Adam: “They went to too many shows.”
      Erica: “Yeah, well, when they’re starting to cross state lines. That’s weird.” ([03:10–03:19])
  • Adam contrasts this with male comedians seeing these individuals as “superfans,” not threats:
    • Adam: “One man’s super fan is another woman’s stalker.” ([04:11]).
    • Erica: “To you it’s a fan. To me it’s a stalker.” ([03:43]).
    • Adam: “I’m a dude, so I’m like, hey, thanks.” ([03:39])
  • The Male Perspective: Adam emphasizes that, as a bigger guy, he never feels threatened: “I feel flattered.” ([04:26])
  • Fans from Adam’s show are described as “almost too respectful,” with Erica noting: “They come up and they go, ‘I love you on Adam Carolla.’ And then they run away.” ([04:45])

2. Airport & Service Worker Rants

[06:43–17:55]

• Adam and Erica discuss being recognized at airports (TSA, airline workers) and the phenomenon of middle-aged service workers with attitudes:
  • Adam claims that some workers relish minor power, using lectures about flight check-in times and baggage as a form of sanctioned “brow beating.”
  • Notable quote:
    • Adam: “Either do the fucking thing and shut up or just go, sorry. If anything under an hour can’t be checked, we’ll have to send it online. Don’t do the, ‘I’ll do it, but next time, you know…’ I don’t want it with the fucking lecture.” ([10:08])
• Gendered Take on Starbucks: Adam proposes that Starbucks’ success is partially driven by women’s enjoyment of customizing orders and wielding micro-authority:
  • “Women, by and large, like telling people what to do more than men, which you might not think is true, but… the only thing that can explain the growth of Starbucks from zero to mega corporation is women get to go in there and tell the bitch behind the counter what they want.” ([18:31])

3. Celebrity Anecdotes & Parental Support

[23:20–40:01]

• Daniel Stern Scandal: Discussion of Daniel Stern (from “Home Alone”) being busted in a prostitution sting; Adam and Erica mock the “scandal” by contextualizing celebrity, male loneliness, and the changing vocabulary around sex work.
• Celebrity Vs. Average Parent Support: Adam tells a long anecdote about Adrien Brody bringing his parents to a children's hospital visit and contrasts this with his own parents’ lack of interest in his career achievements.
  • “Adrien Brody’s got two people with him. His parents...And everywhere Adrian went to reach out to a kid, the mom was like, ching, ching, ching, ching, ching, ching, ching.” ([34:39])
  • Erica notes her mother has never visited her in LA or celebrated her career: “When I asked her, like, are you ever gonna come? Like, if I do a special or something, she’s like… ‘I’ll come when you do something big.’” ([40:07])

4. Crowd Control, Violent Protest, and "Toxic Masculinity"

[43:29–54:55]

• Clips and commentary on viral videos of women confronting police and acting without fear of physical consequences.
• Adam’s theory: Women’s lack of “rough and tumble” play leads to confusion about real-world consequences.
  • “If I slap a guy, I assume I’m getting hit. And if I spit on a cop, I assume I’m gonna get arrested...Women don’t do the rough and tumble play, so they don’t know limits.” ([45:26])
• Gillette “Toxic Masculinity” Ad:
  The hosts lampoon the infamous Gillette ad, suggesting it contributed to young men being unsure of their own limits and raising a generation of “pussies” (Adam’s term).
  • Erica: “I mean, that seems like an SNL spoof. It’s so ridiculous. Like, it’s so over the top.” ([54:00])
• Football & Limits: Adam echoes the importance of learning one’s physical limits and risk through childhood sports, and how this absence leads to dangerous miscalculations.
  • “When you play tackle football, organized tackle football, you learn super quick, like who the fucking tough guys are, who to avoid, when to make a business decision like get out of bounds versus… put your head down.” ([47:21])

5. Language Barriers & Service Fails at Airports

[56:47–63:32]

• Adam recounts an experience of being unable to communicate with a Denver airport worker: “We had no idea what he was… We're in a airport in Denver talking to a guy. He didn't speak any English, and we didn't have no way to communicate…” ([57:40])
• Discussion shifts to the appropriateness of frontline jobs for people who don’t speak English, with Adam suggesting roles better suited to their skill set.
  • “If you cannot speak English, you really shouldn't be right there on the curb.” ([59:12])

6. Bruce Springsteen’s Political Monologue & Celebrity Wokeness

[64:02–72:25]

• Springsteen’s Speech: Adam plays a clip of Bruce Springsteen reading a political monologue off a teleprompter at a concert, railing against the “sadistic” rich and political persecution.
  • Adam criticizes Bruce, drawing comparisons with covid-era censorship and accusing famous progressives of comic book villain/hero posturing.
  • “I stumbled upon it today. Yelling at Drew. They live in a fairytale world where you are sadistic because the rich. Rich Trump hates kids. Cause he’s sadistic. Right. So that makes him a cartoon character... But in every comic book, you need a hero. So that’s where Bruce comes in.” ([66:44])
  • Erica: “People are here to escape this stuff. They’re not… they don’t want to get lectured.” ([66:42])

7. Hollywood Awards, Politics, and Meritocracy

[76:00–84:38]

• Bill Maher’s Emmy Snub: Adam Yenzer delivers news that Bill Maher blames “woke” Hollywood for never giving him an Emmy despite dozens of nominations. Adam Carolla agrees, noting that awards now primarily reward political alignment.
• Meritocracy in Decline: Contrast of Bill Maher’s shut-out with Jon Stewart’s success—Carolla argues it’s due to Maher’s willingness to criticize both sides, versus Stewart’s partisan position.
  • “So if you're trying to explain this phenomenon to somebody, it'd have to be the politics.” ([78:11])
  • Adam: “Mainstream America wants a meritocracy. It’s got the word America right in it. And you guys, nobody touches the super bowl. And there’s no questions. It’s like…we just assume that’s the best they could do…But when you start handing out best Oscar for best film to, like, Moonlight and stuff, like semi crappy movies… You hurt your franchise.” ([83:02])

8. Voter ID, California Taxes, & Political Riffs

[87:32–106:46]

• Voter ID Debate: Adam rails against opposition to voter ID—“If you do not possess an ID, you do not participate in our system whatsoever.” ([91:19])
• The hosts claim that resistance to Voter ID is only for the purpose of election fraud, dismissing arguments about disenfranchisement as disingenuous.
• California Tax Exodus: Adam and Yenzer critique California’s proposed billionaire tax, noting that wealthy residents and companies (even In-N-Out) are fleeing the state in response.
  • “You chased out In-N-Out Burger. You chased out the original California 1940s. You chased out In-N-Out, which is gut-check time for California. If you get In-N-Out Burger to leave, that means anyone will leave.” ([105:05])
• Adam’s theory of “chick-think” and government incompetence: “You are in government mainly because you’re stupid and can’t run your own business.” ([100:02])

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Notable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• Erica: “To you it’s a fan. To me it’s a stalker.” ([03:43])
• Adam: “One man’s super fan is another woman’s stalker.” ([04:11])
• Erica on Adam Carolla fans: "They come up and they go, ‘I love you on Adam Carolla.’ And then they run away.” ([04:45])
• Adam on Starbucks: “The only thing that can explain the growth of Starbucks…is women get to go in there and tell the bitch behind the counter what they want.” ([18:31])
• Adam: “Women made coffee, but they didn’t consume as much as men.” ([14:17])
• On parents and confidence: “Adrien Brody’s got two people with him. His parents...ch-ch-ch-ch…” vs. “I've done [Long Beach Grand Prix] five times, won it twice…my mom and dad were zero in the attendance.” ([34:39] & [35:40])
• Adam on “toxic masculinity”: “They outlawed tackle football. Their moms didn’t let them. When you play tackle football, organized tackle football, you learn super quick, like who the fucking tough guys are, who to avoid, when to make a business decision…” ([47:21])
• Adam: “If I slap a guy, I assume I’m getting hit. And if I spit on a cop, I assume I’m gonna get arrested. And if I stand in front of a Jeep and try to stop it, I assume I might get run over.” ([45:26])
• Erica: “I mean, that seems like an SNL spoof. It’s so ridiculous. Like, it’s so over the top.” ([54:00], about the Gillette ad)
• Adam on Bruce Springsteen's speech: "They live in a fairytale world where you are sadistic because the rich. Rich Trump hates kids. Cause he’s sadistic. Right. So that makes him a cartoon character…But in every comic book, you need a hero. So that’s where Bruce comes in.” ([66:44])
• Adam on the Voter ID issue: “If you do not possess an ID, you do not participate in our system whatsoever. You are not participating. You’re not paying taxes, you’re not traveling… you do not exist in this society.” ([91:19])
• On California politics: "You are in government mainly because you’re stupid and can’t run your own business." ([100:02])
• Adam: “You chased out In N Out Burger… If you get In N Out Burger to leave, that means anyone will leave.” ([105:05])

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Notable Segments & Timestamps

|Segment|Timestamps| |---|---| |Erica Rhodes on the road, stalkers vs superfans | 01:41–06:43 | |Service industry rants, Starbucks, and gender differences | 06:43–17:55 | |Celebrity parents and support (Brody, Carolla) | 23:20–40:01 | |Physical consequences, “toxic masculinity,” and rough play | 43:29–54:55| |Language barriers at airport service desks | 56:47–63:32| |Bruce Springsteen’s political speech/celebrity wokeness | 64:02–72:25| |Hollywood awards, Bill Maher, meritocracy | 76:00–84:38| |Voter ID and California taxes | 87:32–106:46|

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Takeaways

• Men and women experience determined fans very differently: The distinction between “superfans” and “stalkers” is gendered, with women far more likely to feel threatened.
• Celebrity parents can build (or undermine) confidence: Adam’s and Erica’s anecdotes lay bare the powerful lifelong effects of both encouragement and neglect from parents.
• Service industries feed into broader societal trends of power, gender, and miscommunication.
• Celebrity wokeness and Hollywood awards have become highly politicized, eroding trust in these institutions.
• Political correctness, border security, and voter integrity debates are mired in culture wars and bad faith arguments; Carolla continually insists practical, common-sense solutions are ignored for ideology.
• California’s tax policy is pushing out even iconic state businesses, raising existential questions for its future.

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This episode is a typical Adam Carolla blend: irreverent, brash, funny, sometimes contentious, but always oriented towards extracting the absurdity from daily life and politics, with the added perspective of a touring female comedian and a comedian-turned-newsman in Adam Yenzer.

Transcript

[A]

Well, in this episode, Erica Rhodes back in. Very funny. Comedian Adam Yenzer is going to do the news and we'll do all that right after this. Hey, this is Adam Carolla from the Adam Carolla Show. The NFL playoffs are here and Betonline gives you more ways to play. With Betonline, you get the latest odds, breaking news and live scores. With Betonline's in game betting, you'll never miss a moment of the college football playoffs and the road to the super bowl as well. When it's time to switch gears, dive into Betonline's casino, packed with hundreds of the hottest slots, classic table games, live dealers and massive jackpots just waiting for you. And if you love the NBA or the ufc, NHL, it's all there. You can place a little bet on the action, get in on the action. Please don't Forget the BETOnline VIP program with exclusive level up bonuses, weekly cash boosts and rewards designed for serious players. Head to Betonline today because at Betonline, the game starts here.

[B]

Recorded live in Glendale, California. This is the Adam Carolla Show. Adam's guest today, Erica Rhodes and the news with Adam Yenzer. And now, Adam Carolla.

[A]

Yeah, get it on. Got to get on. No, Joseph, get on the mandate. You get it on. Erica Rhodes is back in studio. Always good to see Erica.

[C]

Aw, good to see you too.

[A]

Very good. Stand up comedian has dates all over the place. You can go to punch up live and that'll have all of Erica's dates, right?

[C]

Yes.

[A]

You're a road dog. I mean, you tour, right?

[C]

I am not. Stop people.

[A]

Well, I don't know people, but everyone talks. First off, everyone talks about how hard it is to do this and be a woman. Everything's like, you can't be a woman. But I don't know, I figure in these modern times, it's not too bad. But I don't know, I don't know about you and travel and being a woman.

[C]

Yeah, it's not too bad. I mean, there's a lot of weird. I guess I do have to take a lot of rides with strangers. Mm, that's kind of the most annoying part is meeting all these random people.

[A]

Club owner guy picks you up from the airport. A lot of that Uber, like doing the radio thing in the morning. They're gonna send the intern from the station over to get you.

[C]

Yeah, but I have. Yeah, I haven't encountered any creeps yet for a while. It's been a minute. Okay, so that's good.

[A]

Yeah. Cause I could see you attracting that type?

[C]

Yeah, they're more in the audience, I think.

[A]

Mm. Yeah. I mean, you do. There is a. You do Forget what it's like just being a dude and just sort of going, doing whatever all the time.

[C]

I have had some stalkers situations.

[A]

You have? Yeah, yeah.

[C]

Where these guys have followed me to different states.

[B]

Really?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

What happened?

[C]

They had to. A couple of them were asked to leave eventually. Cause they were just coming to the.

[A]

The state or the club?

[C]

The club.

[A]

They went to too many shows.

[C]

Yeah, they were. Well, when they're starting to cross state lines. That's weird.

[A]

Uh huh. But maybe you call that a super fan.

[C]

Do you have that?

[A]

Yeah, I do.

[C]

Really? The ones that travel, the different.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Really?

[A]

Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I was raped by one the other night. Yeah.

[C]

Congratulations.

[A]

No, see, that's the difference. I'm a dude, so I'm like, hey, thanks.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

To you it's a fan. To me it's a stalker.

[A]

Yeah. No, Addie has come to her. She informed me in Las Vegas, Nevada. She informed me that this was her hundredth show.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

She'd been to. Yeah.

[C]

And in different states.

[A]

All in her living room. I did them all. Right. For her. Yeah. In Nevada and then in other places. Yeah, she travels.

[C]

Oh, okay. So maybe I just have a couple super fans that I thought were stalkers.

[A]

Well, one man, super fan is another woman's stalker.

[C]

Well, that's the difference.

[A]

But that is the difference. I'm just a big dude who played football in high school, so I don't care. Right.

[C]

You don't feel threatened by someone following you around?

[A]

No, I feel flattered.

[C]

Okay. Yeah. To me it's a little bit scary.

[A]

But also, I'm super funny. So maybe she's motivated by more than the looks. You know what I mean?

[C]

That's what a man would tell himself.

[E]

That's right.

[A]

You little gals, you're cute and everything with your little jokes, but this is actual comedy I'm doing.

[C]

So I will say the fans from this show have been very respectful. Almost too respectful. They come up and they go, I love you on Adam Carolla. And then they run away.

[B]

They run away.

[A]

I know. And you're like.

[C]

Yeah, they're a little shy.

[A]

I know. It is funny. Sometimes you're like, at an airport and you're like, sitting alone at a bar and your flight's delayed and like, some guy comes up and he goes, I don't wanna bother you, man. I just wanna tell you I'm a huge fan. I've been listening for 20 years. I don't wanna bother you. And they start leaving and I'm like, come back.

[C]

Yeah, come back. Keep telling me nice things.

[A]

Buy me a beer and tell me nice things.

[C]

One time a guy said he was a fan, and then he was like sitting right near me and he's like, I just, I don't wanna bother you. I just wanna say I'm a big fan. And then he put his headphones on and sat there. And then I felt kind of like just really self conscious. Cause he's sitting there and I'm thinking, I have to kind of be cool.

[A]

Right.

[C]

I have all my stuff. I feel like the airport's not a glamorous place to run into people.

[A]

No. But I do start to realize that starlets and men and celebrities, when they land at LAX, they know TMZ's going to be there. And they could find them walking out to the curb. And I noticed they put themselves together a little better. Because if, you know, TMZ is hanging out right now. I just, you know, I'm going to Bend, Oregon this weekend. TMZ's not gonna be hanging around in the Bend, Oregon Municipal Airport. But if you're coming to LAX and you're so and so from Beverly Hills 90210 or something, you might wanna put yourself together because they may be there. They may be there.

[C]

I got recognized by the TSA woman.

[A]

Oh, you did?

[C]

In Chicago. And that felt more flattering for some reason because she's supposed to be official. And she looked at, she goes, I know who you are.

[A]

Oh, really?

[C]

You were on wgn. Wow, you're a comedian. And then I felt. That was the coolest.

[A]

I think I felt your viral clip. Yeah, yeah. We had. Mike and I got crushed at Burbank Airport by the lady who worked behind the counter at United Airlines. So there's a phenomenon that I've been talking about for a long time, which is basically taking middle aged black women, agitating the shit out of them, and then putting them at the lead, like at the counter places. And then here's the problem. I think there's a phenomenon, and I'll try not to do it as a pejorative, but we'll try to get this solved. Okay? I do believe women are more symbolically wired than men. And I've said this a million times. The women that have Trump Derangement Syndrome mostly hate their dads. And the women who revere their dads and love their dads could have Trump Derangement Syndrome, but they mainly might just not like it. But you have to really hate your dad to really get this syndrome. Because he's triggering. He's your bad dad.

[C]

What about the men who hate him?

[A]

Do they hate him? Mommy issues? No, not as much. And I don't even know if you broke it down if more women would have Trump derangement syndrome than men.

[C]

I think more men honestly have it.

[A]

Mostly it's good to hate your dad. You have a higher percentage of having Trump derangement syndrome for hating your dad. Okay, but it doesn't mean it. But women are more symbolic than men, which is you're a boyfriend who does something that reminds the girl of her dad that she hated her dad that she hated back then. She's more apt to take it out on the boyfriend is what I'm saying. So you take middle aged women and might have dad issues also. Whatever it is, it didn't really work out. Cause you're 57 and you're working at the Burbank airport all day. You know what I mean? So that thing, whatever, the prince never swept you away.

[C]

You're probably gonna hate your dad.

[A]

Maybe you don't know your dad. Okay, there's some of that in that community as well.

[C]

Your dad's also working with you.

[A]

Yes, he's handling the bagg. And then you feed him a steady diet of racist white America, systemic racism, rich, whitey, heterosexual, whatever. And then me comes pulling up with a first class ticket. And I represent more than just a patron. I'm a dad now with a first class ticket, white. And I'm part of the problem, essentially. And Mike and I both had a first class ticket to Denver and we wanted to check a bag. And she was like, can I say this for anyone who works anywhere? Either do the fucking thing and shut up or just go, sorry. If anything under an hour can't be checked, we'll have to send it online. Flight. Don't do the. I'll do it, but next time, you know, I don't want it with the fucking lecture. I got my first class ticket. I'm an adult. I don't need the lecture part about how you're so put off, you know, the people, like, I'll let you through this time, but next. Shut up, just let me through or, sorry, I can't let you through.

[C]

Right?

[A]

Once you say, I'll let you through, then we're done. I don't need the parable from the Bible about the man who got through but didn't appreciate it enough. I don't give a fuck. Stop the lecture. Yeah. So she goes, she's starting to dig into me and Mike. She's like, you know, it's one hour and we're there like 50 minutes before the flight. But it's Burbank, it's small, and we have a first class ticket. And the plane's like right there, right? She goes, now it's one hour. She starts yelling at us. And I go, okay, we're sorry. Can we get the bag? And then I go, now, I said, we have a first class ticket. And the reason I said we have a first class ticket is not to try to pull rank. It's cause they had the first class check in line, but nobody at the window. So we had to stand with eight people in front of us and burn time. Because priority check in. You didn't put a person at priority check in. So I said when she was yelling at me, we're running late. And I said to her, I go, well, we had a first class ticket. And she goes, I don't care if you have a first class ticket. It's an hour. And she was like beating the shit out of me and Mike now. Now what Mike and I have to do is sit there and take it in the ass. Because if you start piping up, then your bag's not getting on.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

And she experiences this weird false power all day where she gets to fucking be rude and do whatever the fuck she wants to anyone, and no one will say anything back to her because they want to get their fucking bag on it. So she's just browbeating us the whole time. And Mike, who rarely remains silent, me and Mike just staring at the ground, just, okay, bitch, just get it out of your system. By the way, I don't know, you work at a place that checks in bags, right? You have flights that take off all day every day. You don't encounter people coming in five, 10 minutes under the cutoff for checking the bag, right? Isn't that what you do all fucking day, every day?

[C]

Yes.

[A]

What's with the fresh annoyance? You know what I mean? Like, oh, boy, I've never seen this before. That's all you see is this, right? It's just people. And also, it's kind of a weird rule with that one hour before bag check because it's a little confusing because people check in online, they get checked in, they don't have to get to the airport if they're checked in online and can get on the plane. But the bag needs to get there before.

[C]

But don't they Want you to check the bag. Like then they, then they always try to convince you to check your bag.

[A]

So it's a weird message. You're right.

[C]

Yeah. It's like, do you want me to or do you not want me to?

[A]

So all she wanted to do is have a sanctioned brow beating of two middle aged white guys who couldn't say shit back to her.

[C]

Right.

[A]

Because in the past if you were anywhere else you'd go, hey, shut up, bitch. I didn't ask for a lecture. But she is the gatekeeper to whether your bag's getting on or off. And you fire back one snide remark and that bag ain't getting on.

[C]

Right.

[A]

And you know it. And she knows it too. So she just sits there and pummels you and sees how much you're willing to sit and take. And you're sitting and taking it.

[C]

Yeah. And you can't say anything because people will take their phones out if you say anything.

[A]

It'll be a racial attack.

[C]

Yeah, that happened to me once with a consolidation of the bags, you know. Cause sometimes I'll try to get away with having like two small carry on bags. And this one woman, I was like really early in the line and she's like, you need to put those bags together. So now I'm holding up the line by trying to get my stuff in the other bag. And I'm like, can't you just let me have two small bags? You're holding up the whole line now.

[A]

Bag bitches. And they love it. And it's perfect. It's perfect because women love telling people what to do. That's why Starbucks is so popular. It's my theory.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

My theory is no woman. First off, women didn't drink that much coffee, like historically.

[C]

Really?

[A]

No.

[C]

How did they get through motherhood without coffee?

[A]

Women made coffee, but they didn't consume as much as men.

[C]

Is this a fact?

[A]

This is a fact. No. They'd make a thermos of coffee for their construction working husband who left the morning at 6 and drove his truck or whatever it is. They made coffee. The secretaries made coffee. And then the secretaries brought the coffee in for the meeting that Mr. Howell had with the bank manager, but they didn't sit there and grab a cup of coffee.

[D]

Really.

[A]

Well, I'm not saying, I'm not saying women didn't drink coffee. I'm saying historically probably like drinking, probably like alcohol or beer consumption or something like that. Men consumed more scotch than women did. But women drank scotch.

[C]

Right, Right.

[A]

But now Starbucks, every time I Pull into Starbucks seems to be about 65, 70% women in there. There seem to be more women more concerned with Starbucks and making orders and going on runs. Like, I'm much more, you know, make a pot of coffee. But a woman will go, no, we're going to Starbucks like it's a thing.

[C]

They want their. Well, they want the fancy coffee. Whereas men, I think they're fine with just black coffee.

[A]

Oh, all right, well, here's. Here's Google. Yes. Now, okay, now what is this? Google something.

[C]

I'm drinking a lot right now.

[A]

Yes, women drink significantly more coffee now compared to earlier in history due to a massive social. What's that say? Societal shift. Okay, blah, blah, blah. All right, Erica, you owe me an apology.

[C]

I'm sorry for doubting your intelligence.

[A]

I'm not. Not granted. I'm not accepting your apology. Oh, no. So women drink a lot more coffee than they used to, and they're in the Starbucks, right? Yeah, but you know what?

[C]

What?

[A]

Do they drink coffee.

[C]

Or do they drink.

[A]

Well, when I'm at the Starbucks, I don't get behind three women go, just give me a large copy.

[C]

No, it's a weird drink.

[A]

That's a thing. It's a whole thing. It's not like they're just drinking coffee. I'm at the Starbucks. I just go, give me a large coffee, put a little cream in it, and we're done. This is a whole thing. Do you have oat milk? Yeah, I like when they're disappointed. Do you have oat milk? No, we're out of oat milk.

[D]

Oh.

[A]

Cause they need a feeling. They need you to feel something. You know what I mean? Like, I heard you say, we're out of oat milk. You don't need to register a feeling. Yeah, ask me for. Ask me for a large latte with oat milk.

[C]

Can I get a grande latte with oat milk?

[A]

Oh, I'm sorry, we're out of oat milk. Was that good now? Yes. I feel emotionally tattered now. I'm destroyed now. Now try to do one with coconut milk.

[C]

Do you have coconut milk?

[A]

We had coconut milk, but we're out. Uh huh.

[B]

Felt that one.

[C]

Right? That was getting. I'm really in character.

[A]

I'm gonna go, if I'm working at that barista, I'm gonna kill myself.

[C]

I think I've played that part before, actually.

[A]

Yes, you do. Because women need to make you feel something. The point is, is the bitch couldn't check the bag. She had to make us feel bad. Yeah. For getting. For Owning a first class ticket on her airline that she worked for, and.

[C]

For telling her you had a first.

[A]

Class ticket and for asking, could we get these bags on. She had to make us feel something about it. So women, I've realized by and large, like telling people what to do more than men, which you might not think is true, but I'll tell you, men like telling people to do stuff like building shit, like, hey, you're stacking those cinder blocks wrong. Like that's it. But women like feeling sort of emotional. Things are just like, take the one bag and put it in the other bag. And you're like, huh, that doesn't make do it. You know what I mean?

[C]

They're more manipulative.

[A]

It's like, dance for me, bitch.

[C]

Yes. Yeah.

[A]

The only thing that can explain the growth of Starbucks from zero to mega corporation is women get to go in there and tell the bitch behind the counter what they want. And so they get to go, I want a grande latte with oat milk and light foam. And not too hot. So it's like you're literally having to sit and listen. You listen, I'm talking. Hey, I'm not gonna check these bags. I'll check these bags in a minute. But first I'm gonna make you feel a bunch of stuff, right? I'm gonna tell you a bunch of shit you don't fucking need to hear. And I'm gonna make you feel a certain way and that. Me feel a certain way? And then we can see about the back.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. I can see that they're relishing the power position more.

[A]

Maybe women. I've seen women go in and spend 10 minutes with a Starbucks order and there's something they're enjoying about, there's something they're getting out of this poor person. Having to memorize all your shit with a possible disappointment, you know, like, I asked for light foam. Okay, we're out of.

[C]

But why did they make the order so complicated, you think because of that? Because people want it that complicated or. I feel like it's getting really complicated, I think.

[A]

Look, I know, okay? I'll give you the dude version of this. Yeah, I have a couple of jack off Hollywood buddies, right? And they're all fucking dudes and they're jack offs, you know? And you go out to fucking eat with them and they're like, I want. There you go. I'll have a martini. Gray goose martini, not bruised, a little on the dry, just a touch of vermouth. Just put a little vermouth in the Glass. And it's like, you fuck, just fucking drink your booze. What? You. You can't tell the difference, right? You can't tell the difference of the Gray Goose and the Tito's. You don't know. I literally. I was with the air. I was at the airport with this guy. I got tired of him eventually with this 20 minute drink order, you know? And I just said, danny, you can't tell the fucking difference between any of these vodkas. Don't give me this bullshit with Grey Goose and everything. He goes, I can tell the difference. I go, okay, we're gonna buy three shots right now. We're gonna do Tito's, we'll do Grey Goose, we'll do Smirnoff. All have the bar. I got about halfway into it. And he goes, okay, I can't tell, really. Well, he knew he wasn't gonna tell when he took a shot of the Tito's versus the Smirnoff versus the Grey Goose versus the Kettle one. But when these guys order, oh, it's like James Bond blew into town and that's their version of it. But it's just so you think they know something. And also, it always makes you think, what do they know that I don't know, right? Like, I don't think I can taste the difference between Smirnoff and Grey Goose. But evidently, this debonair fellow with this super refined palate, he's so much better than I am.

[C]

Yeah, I guess I'm a little like that with white wine because I like it dry. And nobody ever knows what dry means. And so I'll say, can I have a dry white wine? And then they bring it and it's really fruity or sweet. And I hate sweet. And so, yeah, I remember one time I opened for Bill Burr and we had dinner after. Like, they closed the restaurant down just so we could have dinner after the show in Vegas. And I ordered the white wine and then I returned it. And he looked at me like he had seen an alien. He was like, I have never returned anything.

[A]

Well, you're right. You're right in that people don't know terminology. Like dry.

[C]

Yeah. Or they pretend they do.

[A]

I've had a bunch of. I've had waitresses and stewardesses on the plane where I go, could I have a light beer? And they go, oh, you mean like flat tire ale or something? And I go, no, like a light beer. Well, that's a Belgian ale. That's pretty light. I go, no, no, Miller Lite. My light beer. And they go, oh, okay. And I'm like, you don't. You hand out beers all day and you don't know this terminology? Yeah, it's got fucking Coors Light and Miller Light. And the title. Didn't know what the fuck I was talking about. And I think dries that way.

[C]

Yeah. Okay. Thank you. That makes me feel better. Cause I was feeling like a Karen about that.

[A]

No, no. And also, as they say, they have a window. The window. They can say, you go, I'll have a white wine. I like a dry white wine. They can go, I don't know what the fuck dry means.

[D]

Right.

[A]

That's their window. But they can't just nod their head and then go get you a bunch of sweet wine. Sweet wine, that's right.

[C]

Or they could say, you want to try something? Really nice restaurants usually go, do you want to try? And then they'll bring you a taste of something before they fill a whole glass.

[A]

All right. Other things.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

To get to. I don't know how you feel about this, but I'd found out, keep seeing this tweet that Daniel Stern, who's the actor from Home Alone.

[C]

To find out what he looked like.

[A]

I know him initially from the movie Breaking Away, which is a great indie film, and he's great in it. And it's kind of his first big role. Dennis Quaid and a bunch of other people. But Daniel Stern got busted for soliciting a prostitute in like Ventura county or something like that. But now it's gotta be weird if you're Daniel Stern. Cause he's a very recognizable guy, you know? Yeah. And he was on movies that are generational. Like Home Alone.

[C]

Oh, yeah. This guy. Yeah, that guy. I always forget that that's his name.

[A]

So when it says, like, I can solicit prostitutes, but this. I haven't been on the man show for 25 years. And she never saw the man show because she's 23. See, but it's not like families watch the man show every year at Christmas, right? So even if you're a 25 year old prostitute and you're born in 2000 and Home Alone was made in 92, you will see it when you're 10. Because your dad. Well, maybe your dad's not around, your uncle who's molesting you will say, you've not seen Home Alone. You gotta see Home Alone. And they watch it.

[C]

Everyone will see Home Alone.

[A]

So when Daniel Stern gets a prostitute, then that's gotta be difficult, right?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, he was the narrator on Wonder Years. I forgot about that.

[C]

Oh, has he worked recently?

[A]

He's an incredible sculptor.

[C]

Oh, really?

[B]

A 10 year old? Me loved watching him in Breaking Away and he delivers that line. Well, we're a little disturbed by the developments in the Middle East.

[A]

Great movie, Very funny. And he's super funny in it. But now the poor man tries to solicit a prostitute, which is like, you know, give the guy a break. He's paid enough in taxes.

[C]

I mean, who hasn't at this point?

[A]

And he gets a. I think. I don't know. What's the story, Andrew? Did he call into.

[C]

Was it a. Oh, he's an older man too. Look at him. He's probably lonely.

[A]

He's lonely.

[D]

He got busted in a sting operation.

[A]

In the sting operation.

[C]

It was a sting operation?

[A]

Yeah. Mm. He's trying to bring an escort into a hotel, Camarillo.

[C]

Oh, it doesn't seem that bad. I mean, don't actors do this all the time?

[A]

Probably, yeah, we do. I mean, some do. I don't know why you asking? Yeah, I'm surprised. They. It's gotta suck too now. But what do they do, though? Do they arrest you? I mean, what do they. First off, isn't everything legal these days? I mean, isn't pot prostitution? Isn't it all fucking legal now?

[C]

I thought you're not even allowed to call it prostitution. I thought you had to call it sex workers.

[A]

Oh, they're sex workers, right? Yeah, they're part of the sex work.

[C]

Nobody says prostitution.

[A]

They're part of the sex working community. Yeah, they're noble.

[C]

They're just trying to make a living wage.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, they're part of the sex working community. So what's the big deal? Why are you busting up?

[C]

And why a sting opera? Is a sting operation necessary?

[B]

That's the other thing is the sting was at the hotel, as far as I understand it. And I don't know if he went there with intent to get a prostitute or he was approached by.

[A]

I think he called over. I think, according to Andrew. I didn't read the whole article, but I think he tried to get a call girl to come over. Basically, same thing. Charlie Sheen.

[C]

Sorry, where was this again? You just said.

[A]

I don't know. Ventura accident. Where was it?

[C]

Oh, it was in California.

[B]

Camarillo.

[A]

Camarillo.

[C]

Don't they have more important things to bust?

[A]

But it says it's.

[B]

According to Yahoo. He was charged with one count of soliciting prostitution. He. Here it is after he. After he was cited for allegedly trying to hire an escort at A hotel in Camarillo, so.

[A]

Oh, so we don't. We don't.

[B]

And if it's a sting, that implies that there are the sting ladies there.

[A]

Well, so is that because they can put up. I guess the sting could put a phone number up.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

Okay. Call for company or something. I have no idea. The point is, is. Did they. Are they out of crime in Camarillo? Well, maybe they are. Actually, they don't have a lot of cr. The point is, is the man's old. Leave him alone. I thought this is part of our noble sex working community. Leave alone. What year is it?

[C]

Come on.

[A]

Do you rec. See, he's gonna probably get recognized is the problem. It's tough for him. And prostitutes, you know?

[C]

Yeah. But I mean, these guys, like, hire escorts all the time.

[A]

The other thing that people didn't know about him is he's a magnificent sculptor now, Right.

[C]

If they had known that.

[A]

Yeah. If they knew they're gonna get a likeness of them in bronze. That may have been a different. Maybe that's how he pays them.

[C]

Yeah. He should have made that his alibi. Like, he was just trying to make a sculpture the look of him. Yeah.

[A]

He needed a nude model.

[C]

Yeah. Look at him.

[A]

He does exquisite.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

These are bronze sculptors sculpting exquisite statues, like, with exquisite detail.

[C]

Wow. He's probably, like a hermit. He probably doesn't get out much.

[A]

He lives on an orange orchard.

[C]

Yeah, exactly.

[A]

And, like, a cattle. Whatever. And he makes crazy beautiful bronze and clay sculptures.

[C]

Wow, that's so cool when actors turn into artists like that. That is so cool. The one with doing the splits. That is so cool.

[A]

He's really.

[C]

Yeah, that's. Wow. He's really talented.

[A]

Yeah. Like, so let's just make sure we know what art so we know what art is. When you see one of Hunter Biden's paintings, you're like, all right, well, if I got really high, I guess I could shit one of those out too. But when you see Daniel Stern's sculptures, you don't go, I could do that.

[C]

No, those are really unique. They're really cool.

[A]

I know. Hunter was explaining, he's in the hole, like, 13 million bucks, but he only has to sell 26 paintings to get that money back. Like, Dawson. Why isn't Hunter Bond just selling more art? Have you seen it? I don't get it. Why did the market dry up?

[B]

No idea.

[A]

No idea.

[C]

Have you seen Adrien Brody's art?

[A]

No.

[C]

I mean, I'm just curious if you would like it. And he sells it for A lot. Because it's Adrien Brody.

[A]

I don't like anything I could do.

[C]

Me neither.

[A]

I immediately.

[C]

His art is a little like, you can do it.

[A]

I'll sit around. I can sit around and watch people do anything and go, oh, my God, that guy plays the accordion like no one's business. But if I see someone ride the unicycle, I go, I can ride the unicycle. So it must not be worth anything, right? So I don't know what Adrien Brody's art looks like. Does it look like Hunter Biden's art?

[C]

I don't love it.

[A]

You don't love it?

[C]

So he's got, like, a tree, but he sells it.

[D]

This is Hunter.

[A]

This is Hunter Biden.

[C]

That doesn't look like Adrien Brody's.

[A]

I'd like to see Adrien Brody.

[C]

Adrien Brody is, like, into. I don't know if it's like, oil painting that.

[A]

Oh, okay. It's a mess. So it's not really anything.

[C]

I mean, but he sells it for a lot, I think.

[A]

I'll tell you, Adrien Brody likes himself.

[C]

I know. He bothers me a little with that.

[A]

He likes arrogant. Arrogant. But I know where can I tell you where it all came from? I know it. I'm jealous.

[C]

The pianist.

[A]

No, no, no, no, no. The very first. The very first year. I'm gonna say the first year, but maybe it's the second year. I cannot recall. You have to picture this.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

The second year or the first year that I did the Toyota Celebrity Grand Prix in Long Beach. Adrien Brody participated in it as well. This seemed like a nice enough guy. Some guys you click with a little better than others. But he was fine. There was a group of, like, Tony Hawk and guys. God, I'll think of some of the other guys, but some cool UFC fighters and stuff like that, and Josh Brolin and guys like that. It's fun. So when you do the Toyota Grand Prix, you have to do X amount of days of driving school in the desert, at a car racing school, essentially. And then you have to do X amount of practice on the track, actually, at Long beach and qualifying. And there's a bunch of stuff that goes along with it. It's not just, yeah, sign me up. What day's the race? It's some work. And one of the things you need to do is visit the Long Beach Children's Hospital. Now, it sounds good, except for the kids are 6, so they don't really fucking. They don't go, hey, man, show like, they don't know how the fuck I am. And they don't know who Adrian. Hey, I love the penis. They don't know anybody. Cause they're seven, you know, they'd be better off just hiring a drifter to get in like a spongebob outfit and walk through the fucking thing.

[C]

Yeah, that's not a good. Excited.

[A]

Didn't know who Josh Brolin is.

[C]

Right, right.

[A]

The mom knows who Josh Brolin is.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Which is fine because sometimes the mom's there, but the seven year old has no fucking idea who any of these people are. Right. Yeah. The seven year old's like, hey, it's Wanda Sykes. It's Brody Jenner. They don't know any of us. But like I said, to be fair, the parents will go like, oh, the dad's there. He's a man, show guy, whatever. So everybody shows up. So they go, you gotta show up to the hospital. Show up at the track at 10 in the morning. We'll get in the van, we'll go to the hospital, and we will go downstairs, get a little orientation, put a mask on or something. Then you can go upstairs and visit the rooms and go to the little art room and, you know, color with them and take pictures and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Don't do this, don't ask that. You know, blah, blah, blah. You know, what are you in for? You know, brain cancer. Terminal, you know, like, okay, well, you won't be seeing the fourth grade. Oh, my God. No, I mean, little etiquette. Things they don't want you to do, you know?

[C]

Yeah, of course.

[A]

So now just to. So we show up at this race for the van, we go to the hospital, and it's all the celebrities. And that's about it. It's the celebrities. They didn't bring. No one brought their wife or their girlfriend or anything. It was like 10 in the morning on a Wednesday. Had to do it, you know.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Adrien Brody's got two people with him. His parents.

[C]

Oh, wow.

[A]

And his parents, I think were in from New York, but I'm not even sure I knew. It's gotta be an only child. And they brought a big camera. And everywhere Adrian. Every time Adrian went to reach out to a kid, the mom was like, ching, ching, ching, ching, ching, ching, ching. And then, come on, Adrian. And they would get another shot.

[C]

That's weird.

[A]

I know. But I think it's why he feels.

[C]

Good about himself, because his parents are too.

[A]

Chris Corolla didn't own a fucking camera. I'll give you a little. I'll give you a little juxtaposition between Adrian's parents. I think think in from New York, may have come in for the week, for the race. A little juxtaposition between Adrian's parents and Jim and Chris Carolla. Okay, Jim and Chris Carolla live in LA and don't. And live about 35 minutes from the Long Beach Grand Prix. I've done it five times, won it twice.

[C]

Whoa.

[A]

And my mom and dad were zero in the attendance. Even though the thing was held on a Saturday and they didn't have jobs.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Did you invite them? They don't know that you wanted them there.

[B]

Maybe that would have been embarrassing for you. You would have to hear them say that it's an extra crucial day or extra critical day.

[A]

No, here's what. Now, here was my policy with my parents. Once I realized I didn't want to go to anything or never would go to anything, I would say things. I would, like, bring it up, you know. So my mom would go, well, maybe we can go visit Dorothy Gravitch next Saturday. And I'd go, well, that's the day of the Grand Prix. I have to do the Celebrity Grand Prix. And they'd go, oh, well, then maybe the following Saturday. Like, that's how they would do it, right?

[C]

Yeah, but.

[A]

But at some point. That's so weird. Everyone in my family's weird. At some point, I started to feel bad for my stepdad, John, because I was lumping him in with these losers. And he really was just along for the ride. And he kind of liked cars and he was kind of normal. Not that normal, you know, Cause he was in the family, but he was like, so normal. And I got a little older and I got a little more mature. And I thought, you know, John likes cars and always talks to me about cars and, like, races and stuff like that. I should invite him. I was doing it for like, my fourth time or something like that. I said, why is John being punished? It's Saturday. It's Long beach, it's in town. It's a great event. 50,000 people show up, you're on the Jumbotron. It's crazy. It's a crazy event. So I said, you know, I'm just gonna invite. I'll invite John and he and my mom can go. And I said, you know what? So I reached out to him, very rare for me, and invited him, said, fine, thanks. All that stuff. And then the night before, I just got like a sort of a cryptic message from him saying, ah, we're not gonna make it. Like, he didn't say, I'm sick, or we had an ankle turn or anything. He just said, we won't be there. And it was like. I think my mom talked him out of it, I guess. Cause he does, like, doing things and seeing car races and stuff like that. So he just kind of gave like, a. He didn't go. Sorry for the last minute. We got a situation here with a relative who's sick. It wasn't anything.

[C]

No excuse.

[A]

He just went, we're not coming. But they're both, like, retired, just sitting at home in Valley Village, you know, not for them. I mean, not for my part, but.

[C]

Maybe it's like he didn't want to go. Maybe he didn't want to go alone, and your mom didn't want to go, so he felt weird going alone. Maybe even though he wanted to go.

[A]

My mom would control. My mom didn't want you doing stuff she didn't want to do or talking about stuff she didn't want to talk about. So he would mainly just remain silent the entire time. But John would have liked to go to the Grand Prix, I would assume. And then the. The following weekend, then I saw him, and then John said, how'd the Grand Prix go? And then I said, I won in the pro division. And then my mom changed the subject, and that was the last time we ever talked about it.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[A]

A little different than the Brody experience. My mom would have been a bad Brody.

[C]

That's. Yeah. Wow. And that's why you're not throwing your girlfriend gum at the Academy Awards when you.

[A]

That's right. That's right. I have good, healthy, lowest.

[C]

That's where he lost me when he threw his gum at his girlfriend.

[A]

No, I don't. I'm not confident enough to do modern art. Because I would look at it and go, it looks like a fucking monkey took a shit on this thing. Anyone could do that.

[C]

But he has his mom's voice in his head being like, you're brilliant, honey. This is brilliant.

[A]

Well, look, better that than what I got, because he grew up feeling good about himself.

[C]

But he's not funny.

[A]

Oh, right.

[C]

You have to.

[A]

No, not funny. You need a little pain.

[C]

Yeah. You need pain for the funny. I think my mom never visited me in la. Like, she's never visited me here. And when I asked her, like, are you ever gonna come? Like, if I do a special or something, she's like. And then she said, I'll come when you do something big. And then she goes Like a play.

[A]

Like a play.

[C]

Yeah. That's what she's would be proud of is if I was in a play.

[A]

Yeah. Now my dad, I don't even. My dad's the craziest dad in the world in that his son drove in the Long Beach Grand Prix five years. Five times. And he lives. He lives in the neighborhood. It's a 45 minute drive.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

For him. But could have got set up with, you know, parking passes and laminates and been in the paddock with the big screen and the whole thing. Nope. They don't even know what it is. They don't know what it is.

[C]

And they tried to figure it out why. Have you ever asked them?

[A]

They don't. They're. They don't know. They don't care. Weird.

[C]

Are they in their bubble? Some people are just in their bubble of their life and it's hard for them to get out of their own little bubble.

[A]

I'm sorry, were you talking, honey? See, I got a sense of humor.

[C]

I see where you got it from.

[A]

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[A]

You're welcome. All right, so Daniel Stern got a prostitute. Okay.

[C]

That was a long story.

[A]

That was fine. I was drilling down, and you can help on this. I discovered something when I was talking to Dr. Drew today, which is. Now, what's going on is women are going nuts, and they're on the streets and they're, like, spitting on. There's a clip, Dawson. You can probably find it. Woman, heavyset. Like, she spat on a cop. And then the cop, the ice guy, took her down and then pushed her up against the car. And then there's a lot of, like, what's going on? Listen. So here's the thing about guys. Guys, we grew up with rough and tumble play, beating the shit out of each other, but kind of finding the limits. But I would never spit in the face of a cop. And then when the cop tackled me, be confused, right? Like, what's going on? Yeah, you spit in the face of a cop. But it's kind of funny. We'll watch it.

[C]

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

[A]

Step back. And I like that. Guys who try to help. Like, the fuck are you, fat guy?

[C]

So many men.

[A]

Don't stop touching me.

[C]

Oh, my gosh. Oh, my God.

[A]

Right? So she's confused, but she spit in the cop's face. And then she got tackled. And then she says, stop touching me. But that's not gonna work. Cause you spit in the guy's face. But I see women trying to stop vans like they're superheroes, you know, just running in front of vans, like, pushing them, like they have some sort of strength or something. Yelling to the ICE agents, shoot me. Shoot me. And like, screaming at everyone. And I realize they didn't have rough and tumble play. They don't know distances. They don't know what reactions. Like, there's tons of women slapping guys, and the guy just decks her. You know what I mean?

[C]

But how much of it do you think is that they want some kind of viral attention?

[A]

Well, there's all of that, but I realize there's.

[B]

They're all.

[A]

None of them participate. If I slap a guy, I assume I'm getting hit. And if I spit on a cop, I assume I'm gonna get arrested. And if I stand in front of a Jeep and try to stop it, I assume I might get run over, right? And that's women. And women don't do the rough and tumble play. So they don't know limits. But historically, it didn't make a difference. Cause they stayed the fuck at home. And they didn't get out and fight with Cops. So who cares, right? Yeah, guys, now I realize. So you go, well, how does that explain the guys? Because the guys are out there doing stupid shit too, right? What are they doing? And then I realized, oh, they're 26 year old dudes who were told wrestling and rough and tumble play was toxic masculinity. So they didn't grow up playing football. They outlawed tackle football. Their moms didn't let them. When you play tackle football, organized tackle football, you learn super quick, like who the fucking tough guys are, who to avoid, when to make a business decision like get out of bounds versus like put your head down and see if you can go for an extra two yards, like when to go airborne. Like you learn a lot about limits, right? And these fucking pussies never did any of this because their mom raised them in bubble wrap in Purell. So now we got a bunch of dudes that don't know rough and tumble play. Today's the seven year anniversary. The worst fucking bullshit campaign I've ever seen in my life. And it's so retarded. It's the Gillette toxic masculinity commercial. Because they understood. Now Gillette doesn't care about toxic masculinity or any of this shit. They just want to sell razors. But they do want to kiss up. And somebody told him this was a cool subject seven years ago. And when they're talking about this commercial and this commercial, well, let's just watch it. The best part about all these commercials, when they're doing these commercials. So here's the problem. You have to have a mixture of white and black and everything. Now you can't just have a bunch of white dudes. Right?

[C]

Right.

[A]

But then the problem is you're gonna need some of these dudes doing bad things. So then you go, well, we can't have the black guy. So there's that great part where there's like some white guy and some chick comes walking down the street and he's like, hey, good looking. And the black guy's like, hey, not cool, brother. And it's like, oh, that seems a little different. I've not seen that. It's good. Enjoy. But watch. Half of it is just. There's a point where there's seven year old boys at a barbecue in the backyard just like wrestling and they're going, not cool. No, you. That's what they need to do.

[C]

Right?

[A]

Sorry, go ahead. Bullying the Me Too Movement against sexual masculinity.

[B]

Is this the best a man can get?

[A]

Is it all white guys Chasing a white guy.

[B]

We can't hide from it.

[A]

It's been going on far too long.

[B]

We can't laugh at all.

[A]

Oh, it's a white guy going to the black chick. Actually think she's trying to say. Making the same old excuses. Boys will be boys.

[D]

Boys will be boys.

[A]

But something finally changed.

[C]

Allegations regarding sexual assault and sexual harassment. It seems like there will be no going back.

[A]

It does now. Seven years. That's how we got.

[B]

We believe in the best in men.

[A]

Men need to hold other men accountable. Smile, sweetie.

[E]

Come on.

[A]

To say the right. The Indian guy. Come on, man.

[D]

To act.

[A]

I like this one. The right way. Not cool.

[D]

Not cool.

[A]

Sorry. Look at how good all the black people are. Oh, my God. So it's weird. You can only have white people doing the wrong thing in the commercial.

[C]

Seems like, like a sketch. It's so ridiculous, right?

[A]

You've not. There's one black guy's done the wrong thing so far. Is that how we treat each other?

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah. We just go suck each other's dicks in the corner and cry. We'll be the men of tomorrow. Yeah, the men who are fucking pussies now. And they fucking scream at cops and they don't know what it is.

[C]

What does it have to do with razors?

[A]

But the. Great. Now if you don't believe me, I was thinking about this. I was going, so what happened? So there's young dudes, they don't know limits. And they play too many fucking video games and they eat too many animals and they don't get danger.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Kyle Rittenhouse. Dawson. Kyle Rittenhouse is sitting around with an M16. He literally has a weapon of war as an M16. And some 23 year old white dude is like, I'm gonna get that guy with my skateboard. Like, he's holding an M16. You wanna bum rush him with your skateboard. And then you get shot. And then you're like, what the fuck's happening? It's like, well, there's a guy with an M16. You have no flak jacket, you have no pistol, you don't have your own M16. And you're chasing him, and at some point you knock him over and he turns around and he blows you away because you don't have a gun. He does. But you should learn limits. I know Gillette's not a fan of the limits, but he literally. You got a guy with an M16, he thinks it's a good idea to chase him because you got a fucking skateboard.

[C]

Oh, My God.

[B]

You know, it goes back to no kids playing football growing up, because once you put on those pads when you're a kid, you realize, oh, I'm gonna get hit, and it might hurt a lot. And then when it happens, you at least know what it is, but you also go, I'm not gonna put those pads on anymore because I don't want to get hit like that. This person had no backing of that whatsoever and thinks that.

[A]

Yeah, no, I, I, I can't. I can't tell you. All the dudes crazy. Every dude. I'm not every half the dudes. Well, I tried out for the football team. I won out for practice. First day I got lit up and I said, fuck this, right? I was the same way, except for once I got lit up, I was like, well, I got nothing else to do. I don't have Adrian Brody's mom taking pictures of me. I just said, well, I got lit up, but might as well come back. Where else am I going? I got nowhere. I didn't go, I'm gonna go to space camp. I just went, I'm fucking coming back, and I'll see if I can light somebody else up. But you get, get up and you learn, like, what's going on, like, to not get fucked up. And also, you know the dudes and what everyone's kind of capable of, right?

[B]

And you, more importantly, know what you're capable of, and you don't have an inflated or distorted sense of self.

[A]

Right? So.

[C]

Well, I wonder if that explains why there's an increase in gun violence. Because men aren't getting that aggression out in sports or in real life. It's like, pent up.

[A]

Kyle rittenhouse has an M16, and you're walking toward him yelling, come on, bring it, bro. And it's like, okay, he's got an M16. You should be scared. Yeah, be scared.

[C]

Yeah. Well, also, if you're in the virtual world, you're just not used to real life. You're like, in the world, I think.

[A]

It'S video games, it's edibles, and it's lack of rough and tumble play. And so women have none of rough and tumble. So they just. Fat chicks show up and they're like, you gotta go through me. And it's like, okay, knock em on the ground like an Oompa Loompa. You know what I mean? They have some thing, like they think they possess some kind of superpower or something. They don't. And they're getting fucked up because of it.

[C]

Yeah, I would Never go to anywhere like that where there was crowds of people. Angry crowds of people get hit with a brick. Yeah. Oh, my God.

[A]

I'm with you.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

All right. The other thing I wanted to. God, that toxic masculinity. That thing's only seven years old.

[C]

I mean, that seems like an SNL spoof. It's so ridiculous. Like, it's so over the top.

[A]

I just love when they have to thread the needle. They're like, we need, like, 70 dudes in this commercial. Okay? 30 of them better be black. Okay, but what about the group chasing the white kids? That's all white kids. But you said you wanted diversity, and there's six white kids chasing a white. Yeah, well, what if we put a black kid. No, no, no. You're not getting it. We need black guys doing good stuff. What about when the guy's hanging out in front of the dime store and the hot chick walks by? We'll have the black guy intervene.

[C]

Okay, that's not cool, bro.

[A]

Not cool, bro. White guy's like, why? Why not a little raping before noon? No, bro.

[C]

And all the little boys that are white are also evil.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

And they're just. They're like six years old. It's like you're already bad. Cause you're wrestling each other.

[A]

I don't know where you guys come down on this, but. And, you know, I don't want to go too MAGA on everyone's ass, but we, Mike and I, on the way back now, we're going from Denver to Burbank. We got dropped off in front, and there was another little cutting it a little close for the bag check. Little anxiety cutting it a little close for the bag check. But they had the curb check. Yeah, right. So we get dropped off, and we go, good, curb check. Go in there, start weighing the bag. You know, put on the thing. Talking to the bell captain guy. This guy is from, like, deep Ethiopia or something, and he's 60. But I can't look. I'm from LA. Everyone's got an accent. And I can usually work my way through it, but I have no idea what this person is saying. And this guy's saying, show me the boarding thing. And Mike's pulling his phone out, and he's like, no, it's email, though. Email number. And Mike's like, this is what I got. This is the thing, the app, the pass. This is what they gave me. It's a board. This'll get me on the plane. Can I check this back? No, no, it's not that And I'm like, seeing the time's going by, you know, and everything. And I'm going, mike, what's going on? And he's going, he's not taking the bag. And I'm like, but I don't get it. We have a first class ticket. We just want to check it here. Says we can't. He's like, no, but where is email? Where is email? And I'm like, I don't know what's happening. Do you know what's happening, Mike? And after like 10 minutes, he just goes, no, it's not. No, it's not good. And so now Mike and I are like, oh, fuck, we gotta get in there and check this shit. Cause we're gonna get locked out again.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And I said to Mike at least seven times that day, I said, what happened? What was that? He goes, I have no idea. I have no idea. I go, I know, but what? We had the thing on the phone. I had mine, you had yours. We had our ID out and we had first class ticket. We were checked in the flight. He goes, I have no idea what that guy was saying. I have no idea what he was saying. And I was like, I couldn't tell what he was saying. He just kept pointing at the phone going, no, this is good. And I thought, is it too much ass to have that guy handle English?

[C]

Right?

[A]

You know what I mean? Like, I get it. English isn't your thing. So we can get you with the dining service and you can prepare the meals in the kitchen, or you can do one of a million things.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

But not be the tip of the spear, like interface.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

We had no idea what he was. We're in a airport in Denver talking to a guy. He didn't speak any English, and we didn't have no way to communicate with him about why our bags couldn't be checked onto a flight that we were checked into with a first class ticket.

[C]

Yeah. That happens to me a lot with Lyft rides in different cities where, like, they don't speak any English. And I'll say, is this one time I said, is this a safe neighborhood? And he's like, what? And I'm like, is this a safe neighborhood? Cause I'm not from here. And he couldn't answer. I now see even a basic question.

[A]

I kind of get what. I get what you're saying. But on the other hand, you gotta make a living.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

American airline does not need to hire a guy who speaks zero English.

[C]

That's true.

[A]

And put him on the Curb so that every single day, all day, people just come up from Louisiana and Indiana and he's like. Or Yes. I don't know. I don't know what he's saying. He's like, we're going. Mike's like, can you print out our boarding pass? He's like, no. Like, I don't. I cannot say to him. Traditionally, we get our boarding passes printed out curbside. Are you not capable of that? Like, he would. There'd be no. There's no. Nothing.

[F]

Yeah.

[A]

After 10 minutes of confusion, we left.

[C]

Right.

[A]

And I have no idea why. He runs the bag check at United Airlines at the Denver Airport, and I cannot check my bag there.

[C]

Right.

[A]

I don't know what happened.

[C]

And there isn't even someone helping him, so. Like, he could have someone with him.

[A]

No, there's nobody working as a translator. But I'm just saying. Look, again, I don't want to sound like a Klansman, but if you cannot speak English, you really shouldn't be right there on the curb. Go inside and handle the baggage. Like, find another job that doesn't involve us trying to glean information off of you. And you cannot speak English. Yeah, I have no idea what it was. Yeah, his name was Mohammed. Dad. Dad. Like, he had like. It was like Mohammed wasn't a deep enough ethnic for him. He was like, muhammad dad. Dad, dad.

[C]

Muhammad dad.

[A]

And I'm just reading this thing, and he was like, 60. Oh. He was like, 65. And I was like, I don't understand a word. Yeah. And I was pointing at something, and I'm like. But I get it. But we're not in a foreign land, Right. We're in Denver. You can find people.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And then they could speak English. You just put them in that position.

[C]

Right.

[A]

So we don't have this, like, all day every day.

[C]

Yeah. No, it doesn't make sense.

[A]

But you hire the guy, right? Like, you have to have an interview session with the guy when you're hiring. Hey, where are you from? Right.

[C]

I guess they just don't think it matters for that job. Usually he just takes the money and puts the bag on the thing.

[A]

I feel like that job is a job where there's lots of questions about on times and delays. And the part where it's an extra 20 bucks because you got a second bag. You got a. Marry your bag, bitch.

[B]

You gotta move stuff along, too. Keep people off the sidewalk.

[A]

Keep.

[B]

Keep them moving. Get them going.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, I know.

[B]

Muhammad dad.

[A]

Dad.

[B]

That sounds like lyrics to a Red Hot Chili Pepper song.

[A]

Muhammad dad, dad, it just Mike, who speaks, you know, fluent gibberish. Because he speaks, you know, he thinks in gibberish. He had no idea what I kept saying. But what happened? What did he say? I don't get. We had the app, we had the phone, we had the thing on our phone. We had the thing. The thing that gets you on the flight where they scan it. I go, just scan it. No, not happening.

[C]

Weird.

[A]

It was weird. But it's also just don't hire people that can't speak English and put them in these positions. By the way, it's no fun for him either.

[C]

And don't enough English speaking people probably need a job too, right now I.

[A]

Would just go, look, I'm all for diversity and hiring everyone. And I don't care where you're from, if you speak English, you're up front. Yeah, yeah, but if you don't speak English, we can't have you interface with the public because we don't know they cannot communicate with you. Yeah, and then we're gonna have questions. All right, let's see. So that was that guy. Oh, by the way, I didn't tell you what ended up happening at Burbank with Esther, who was angry at me and Mike. She ended up on our merch bag. On one of our bags. She put a heavy tag on it and it got sent to San Francisco.

[C]

Are you kidding? Do you think she did that on purpose? Probably.

[A]

I mean, I would argue yes. You weigh it, and if it makes the weight, then it makes the weight she didn't have. For someone who didn't like working heavy.

[C]

It has to be really heavy.

[A]

Well, it can't be that heavy. Cause it made the 50 pound limit.

[C]

Right.

[A]

So they weigh it. It can't be over £50. So it's under £50. But she put the heavy tag on it. Probably told one of her guys in the back, have it go to San Francisco, and then he'll show up at that. So of course it showed up a day late. We had to go back to the airport, like, blah, blah, blah.

[C]

That's so frustrating. I know. That's why I'm always nice to whoever's taking.

[A]

Oh, we tried, but she was angry. She was angry because we showed up 11 minutes past the cutoff with a first class ticket in a relatively empty airport.

[C]

Yeah, and you were white and men.

[A]

And we need to be punished. As to basically how it worked, except for I'm arguing this is the insidious part of her sitting around watching CNN all night and hearing about systemic Racism, I think it manifests itself in this kind of behavior.

[C]

I think so, too.

[A]

All right, one other thing. There's a clip. Oh, this is Bruce. So you know, my theory. This is a Bruce Springsteen thing that I saw today. My theory has always been, and it goes way back to love Lion. I always said, I suspect, that Robert De Niro and Bruce Springsteen are secretly idiots.

[C]

I thought you were gonna say secretly lovers.

[A]

No, but I'd watch that. And that. They never talk. See, Robert De Niro, I never knew what that guy was thinking up until, like, six years ago.

[C]

Right?

[A]

He never talked.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

And Bruce Springsteen didn't talk. Yeah. And they were both genius level performers at what they did. And they both looked smart and deep, you know, so everyone would go, that guy's a genius. De Niro's a genius. And they'd go, springsteen's a genius. And then. And in the last 15 minutes, they started talking a lot. And now De Niro looks like an idiot when he goes on the View, right? So somebody sent me Bruce. This is, by the way, Bruce at a concert. This is Bruce at a concert, and he's reading off a teleprompter. So this is. What a narcissistic douche he's turned into be. Yeah, but here's what I'm saying. And Dawson, you'll help me on this. I want you to listen to what he's saying and realize how much of it could be applied to Covid and what his side was trying to do 10 minutes ago. It's all that. All right, here it is.

[E]

There's some very weird, strange, and dangerous.

[A]

Shit going on out there right now.

[E]

Yeah, in America.

[C]

Oh, few.

[E]

They are persecuting people for using their right to free speech and voicing their dissent.

[A]

Oh, pause.

[E]

America.

[A]

So just like what you guys just got done doing with COVID Just like that. Just like when you're deplatforming everyone and firing them from their job. And Bruce, you were cheering that on. Is that what you're talking about? Bruce, this happened 10 minutes ago, and it was all done by your side, Bruce.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

But this is different.

[C]

This is such a speech.

[A]

Oh, my God. This is. This would be the most of all beer runs ever. I would make it the biggest beer run ever. Okay, Bruce is sitting down and talking politics. Blow hard. Here we go.

[E]

Free speech and voicing their dissent.

[A]

Oh, yeah, none of that.

[E]

The richest men are taking seeking satisfaction and abandoning the world's poorest children to sickness and death.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

This is happening now.

[A]

Right now.

[C]

Right now.

[E]

In My country, they're taking sadistic pleasure in the pain that they inflict on loyal American workers.

[A]

Project Posit for a second. I'll tell you what's going, by the way. Loyal American workers. You guys wanted to force an experimental vaccine on all the loyal American workers. And the military, they chose.

[B]

When the military guys got. I got kicked out for not taking it out.

[A]

Right, that's what you wanted. But let me explain what the phenomenon is. I stumbled upon it today. Yelling at Drew. They live in a fairytale world where you are sadistic because the rich. Rich Trump hates kids. Cause he's sadistic. Right. So that makes him a cartoon character. That makes him a comic book character. Cause he's evil. It's not just. He has policies that are gonna affect. No, he's evil. But guess what? But in every comic book, you need a hero. So that's where Bruce comes in.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

So you understand, once you paint these people as comic book evil, then you.

[C]

Get to be the hero.

[A]

You play the role of the hero. And Bruce, who makes $275,000 a night at a concert, is gonna waste four minutes of our time. And instead of playing Rosalita, he's gonna give us a lecture about rich people and hating the government. Rent. Okay, go ahead. Bruce.

[E]

This pleasure in the pain that they inflict.

[A]

They love it on loyal American workers. He hates workers. That Trump.

[E]

They're rolling back historic civil rights legislation.

[A]

Although none come to mind that led.

[E]

To a more just and plural.

[A]

Look out, black people.

[E]

They're abandoning our great allies. Yeah, and siding with dictators.

[A]

I thought we just collected one and put him in prison. But all right, all right.

[E]

Against those struggling for their freedom.

[A]

By the way. Yeah. Obama gave dictators money. We're fucking also.

[C]

Do you think he wrote this or did someone write it for him?

[A]

I'd say his wife wrote it.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And the piano player's gotta be miserable. Can't you just. Can't I go smoke a cigarette?

[C]

Can you just, like, say something light?

[A]

Or how about you just sing?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

People are here to escape this stuff. They're not. They don't want to get lectured.

[A]

Yeah. God, is biopic bombed. Good. I'm sorry. Keep playing. It's good for their freedom.

[E]

They're defunding American universities that won't bow down to their ideological.

[A]

Listen, first off, bow down to their American universities, have endowments for billions of fucking dollars and rip off all their students. I mean, I had some dad telling me. Who was I talking to? Sent his daughter. Oh, it was Dave. Koechner, I think, sent his daughter. He said it's 75,000 bucks a year all in for my daughter to go to school. It's fucking rich. It's ridiculous. So fuck you universities. Lower your fucking prices, all your endowments. And no. Yes. We don't want pro Hamas leadership running around the campus at Harvard. Okay, so we'll cut your money off. Off. If you're out and you're. You're protesting and you're pro Hamas nicks out there, fine. Bruce. Retard. This is the longest residents off American.

[E]

Streets and without due process of law, are deporting them to foreign detention centers and prisons. Yeah, what we're doing, this is all happening now. A majority of our elected representatives have failed to protect the American people from the abuses of an unfit president and a rogue government.

[A]

All right, hold on.

[B]

Everything about that was wrong.

[A]

Well, by the way, Biden was.

[B]

He was totally fit.

[A]

Biden was apparently unfit, and the government was doing whatever the fuck it wanted.

[B]

And people convicted of rape, murder, sexual assault of children, they're getting kicked out. They're not American citizens.

[A]

It's got to be weird living in that weird bubble where you just fart in it all day and breathe in your own gas. All right, one more. Sir.

[E]

They have no concern or idea of what it means to be deeply American.

[C]

Deeply.

[E]

The American America that I've sung to you.

[A]

It's him. Oh, it's about him. About.

[E]

For 50 years is real.

[A]

Hold on. I'd like to be in the front row going, hey, Bruce. Spre of singing.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Speaking of.

[B]

You could have been three minutes into the fever by now.

[A]

You have a song called I Am an old Blow Hard. Is this part. Is this the ramp up to that one? Yeah, all those songs. Go ahead, get back to them. Two and three Ball.

[E]

And regardless of its faults, it's a great country with a great people, so we'll survive this moment. I have hope.

[A]

Good to know, because I believe he's preaching to just a bunch of rich white people.

[B]

Number one.

[A]

Number two, I think I know what's going on.

[B]

What?

[A]

What's going on is Bruce's claim to fame was always the three hour concert.

[C]

Yeah. He's out of his.

[A]

And now he's 80 years old. He's like, I fucking hip hurts.

[C]

I can't go sing for.

[A]

I can't slide across the stage with a guitar for three hours. But people come, they expect a three hour performance. So if I fill it up with some filibustering blow hard fucking nonsense in between with A guy playing a piano. I'm gonna be on the clock. You know, it's like when you're a shitty student, you had to write a book report and you have like the COVID page and then the next page would just have your name on it. The next page would just have the author's name on it. Like I'm trying to fill up some pages here. Cause I'm a shit student.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. I mean, can't he say all this in a song? Can he like write a song and say something in the song? That's what Bob Dylan does. He.

[A]

That's right. And the great Jim Croce had a bunch of stuff he couldn't say. And he wrote about it in a song. And he wrote a song about so I had love in a song. All right, we're gonna do some news. Erica Rhodes is gonna hit the Rhodes. She's got live shows all over the place. Great stand up comedian, Punch Up Live has all the dates.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Coming up, Lawrence, Kansas as well at the comedy club.

[C]

Yes, Lawrence, Kansas.

[A]

And Erica does a great show. So get out and support that. Take a quick break. Do some news with Adam Yenzer right after this. Homes.com well, some say homes.com is the best home shopping site. Maybe homes.com's super comprehensive and transparent agent directory. Or Maybe it's that homes.com is the only site that always directly connects you with the listing agent who knows the home the best. Perhaps it's because homes.com has the most in depth neighborhood content of any home shopping site that's extensively researched to highlight the personality of each neighborhood. Homes.com well, they go above and beyond to bring home shoppers the in depth info they need to find the right home right now. Now I like to go on there and just kick tires, look around. It's a hobby. But if you're Interested in buying homes.com that's homes.com. we've done your homework. O'Reilly Auto Parts. Yeah, they're in the business of keeping your car on the road. Cars are expensive. Now you got to keep your car on the road. They offer friendly, helpful service and all the knowledge you need. If you can't figure it out while your car is having an issue. If I can't figure out a problem, I'll call them first. There's a good chance they'll know what's going on. They have thousands of parts in stock and they'll test your battery for free. Need wipers, brake lights, quick fix. They'll get you the right part Everyone who works there is knowledgeable and friendly. The professional parts people at O'Reilly are your one stop shop for DIY auto stuff in store or online. It's O'Reilly Auto Parts, right? Dawson, stop by O'Reilly Auto Parts today.

[B]

Or visit them@o'reillyauto.com Adam that's o'reillyauto.com Adam. It's time to check Adam's voicemail.

[A]

Adam, how's it going? You rule later.

[B]

You can leave us a message at 888-634-1744.

[A]

Yeah, Adam Yenzer's in studio. Adam's got dates. He's got his dry bar special, which is very good. He's got an Emmy award, writing for Ellen all those years and doing stand up everywhere. Got a YouTube show, the canceled news. Now he has the news. What do you got?

[D]

Well, speaking of Emmy awards, Bill Maher is the news. Bill Maher says he'll never win an Emmy because of woke Hollywood.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[D]

Liberal comedian Bill Maher took a swipe at his woke peers in Hollywood who refused to give him trophies at awards shows.

[A]

Well, you know, I think I will say this. As a guy who's worked in late night and written for late night and sort of watched everything, Bill is quite consistently good and sort of gets over the target a lot. Like whatever side of the aisle you're on, you can watch one of his clips from New Rules or something and go, yeah, yeah, that guy's bringing it.

[D]

He's not beholden to one side or the other. He says his mind.

[A]

Yeah. And he does a nice job. And the fact that he's been doing it for 30 years, basically, he's never gonna win an Emmy, which is such a weird, it's a weird. I don't know what they know. Like, I don't know how much of this is intentional, how much of it is just reflexive or something. But it's like at a certain point, okay, let's just put it to you. I'll put it to you this way. Jon Stewart ostensibly does the same thing Bill Maher does. They're older, middle age comedians who have been knocking around for years and years and years. They're both skilled standups. They both have a strong sort of like editorial mind and they both essentially do the same thing. It's just that that Jon Stewart attacks the right and Bill Maher sort of attacks everyone, which means he's gotten off the reservation. If you're on the left, you can look it up. But I would go ahead and assume that jon Stewart has 151 Emmys and he's got zero. Bill Maher's got zero. So if you're trying to explain this phenomenon to somebody, it'd have to be the politics.

[D]

Yeah. And it also seems the odds don't add up because here's his quote. He said, sweetheart, I've been nominated for 33 Emmys and they would never give it to me. That's not a gag number. That's a real number. It's crazy. So they sort of pay lip service to nominating him. Yes, but you get 33 nominations for all the years has been on Late Night and never get a win.

[A]

She is. Jon Stewart has won 23, and I don't know what he's. He's probably 23 out of 34 or something like that, but Bill Maher's O for 33. What was that? Soapbox actress Christina Rinici, or whatever her.

[B]

Name was or whatever said, you really like me?

[A]

No. Well, sort of.

[D]

She was Susan Lucci.

[A]

Susan Lucci nominated. Susan Lucci got nominated like 21 times for that's My Life or something and then never won and then won or whatever.

[D]

Now, did she attack the right on her soap operas?

[A]

Bill Maher has won once out of a total of 41. Okay.

[D]

Yeah. So he won for. He's had dozens of Emmy nominations for Real Time and his previous late night show Politically Incorrect, as well as his various standup specials. He did win an Emmy as executive producer of HBO's documentary series Vice. Oh, wow. So he was like a producer.

[A]

Well, that's not a win.

[D]

That's like how I cheated my way in with Ellen. It's like I was writing for her. So when the show ends, then I. I get one. But they're Daytime Emmys.

[A]

Yeah. All right, so that's not him winning once. That's if you're a producer on a show, blah, blah, blah, whatever. So look, Bill is very skilled and Jon Stewart is very skilled, but Jon Stewart stays very consistently against the right and against the Republicans. And Bill says shit. Stuff that angers the left because it's truthful. And they don't like that. Men being women and women and men and that kind of stuff. So he gets screwed, and that's why. And he shall never win one because he'll run. But listen, I have always known this. I've done a bunch of high quality documentaries and never gotten into Sundance. And they told me they pretty much just went, that guy's a douche. I don't like that.

[D]

That's what your rejection letter says, it's like what I get. It says, sorry, we reviewed your submission.

[A]

Well, let's put it. I'll put it to you this way. If you take the average Rotten Tomatoes score of a comedy that gets into Sundance, it's in the low 50s. I submitted something that would have been in the 80s and 90s with the people. And the report back was the guy wasn't a fan, which is code for Adam's a douchebag and we don't want him crashing our party. So whatever doc I made or whatever feature I made would get submitted to Sundance and then rejected. And then you go look at the average score on Sundance and stuff's in the 30s and the 40s and the 50s, and my stuff's in the 80s and 90s, but it shall not be brought in. And that's the business.

[D]

It's always a thing on Rotten Tomatoes where the audience score is like, in the 90s and the critics is low, and it's vice versa, depending on the.

[A]

Right. Now, this movie, the Hammer that I made predated the sort of fiddling with the critics. So this one was, I don't know, 81 or 82 with the critics and like 90 or 92 with the thing that's. Back when you could do that. Now, if I made a movie, it would be 12 with the critics and 95 with the people, because they don't go for. Yeah, yeah. So he's right. And all it does is ruin your franchise. It ruins Emmys or Golden Globes, Oscars. Everyone's just kind of, all right, what's the thing where they hated Trump the most? Okay, give it to them. You know what I mean? Like this stupid. What film? I had it written in front of me. One thing, one bad thing after another. It's a crappy film. It's well shot, but it's not, not good. It's a fever dream for leftists. It's comical, it's insane, and Sean Penn's character's comically nuts. And the whole thing's a mess. But it's going to win because it's like tough women of proud, women of color standing up to blah, blah, blah, white guys. It's a joke. It's not a well written movie. It's not a well written movie. DiCaprio's good and the soundtrack's good and it's shot well. But one battle after another's gonna win everything. Cause it's got the right theme. And when you do that, you hurt your franchise.

[D]

Yeah, it Already won at the Golden Globes, I think. And it feels like all of these award shows are losing relevance. Cause of that. Cause mainstream America, they're not seeing the movies that they appreciate win.

[A]

Well, the thing that I always say is mainstream America wants a meritocracy. It's got the word America right in it. And you guys, nobody touches the super bowl. And there's no questions. It's like, I don't know, we got the playoffs coming up. We're in the playoffs. You know, this team has a white quarterback, that team has a black quarterback. But we just assume that's the best they could do, not that they're trying to do some sort of EEOC affirmative action job. So it's all meritocracy. And look, there's. You could have a Super bowl where the whole defensive side of the ball was black. And we just go, good, yeah. Cause I want them to win. You know what I mean?

[D]

Yep.

[A]

Well, when you start handing out best Oscar for best film to, like, moonlight and stuff, like semi crappy movies that nobody wants to see. And by the way, don't take my word for it. They never show up on cable. No one ever watches them again.

[D]

You didn't watch moonlight after your super bowl party?

[A]

I watched it during the Super Bowl. Watch the. No. They have when a film typically wins Best Picture, you know, on the Waterfront or Gone with the Wind or something or, you know, wizard of Oz. They have a life beyond that date, right?

[D]

Yep.

[A]

Moonlight got best picture. No one's ever. No one's ever said, oh, what are you doing? I was going to watch moonlight like it doesn't exist. It's a kind of shitty, depressing film.

[D]

It's not the most rewatchable movie.

[A]

Movie. No. No. So, yes, they fucked up their own franchise. Bill is right.

[D]

Yeah. Some sad news. Dilbert creator Scott Adams died at 68. President Donald Trump just paid tribute to Scott Adams sharing a photo of them together in the Oval Office. He referred to the late cartoonist as a fantastic guy who supported him when it wasn't popular to do so. And Adam's first wife, ex wife Shelley, revealed the news during a live stream on Real Coffee with Scott Adams. So we have her comments here. Reading a letter from him.

[C]

I had an amazing life. I gave it everything I had. If I got any benefits from my work, I'm asking that you pay it forward as best as you can. That the legacy I want. That's the legacy I want. Be useful and please know I loved you all to the very end. Scott Adams.

[A]

Scott was a good dude. And mainly he was thought provoking. He'd go, oh, yeah. Oh, I hadn't thought about that. I wouldn't call us friends, but I really appreciated his work. Drew was Dr. Drew a good friend. Him and Gutfeld actually went to go visit Scott a couple of weeks ago, and Scott, I guess, kind of knew was coming for sure, had some steps in the right direction maybe six months ago, and then it just kind of fell off. But he's just a guy who was super logical and super pragmatic, and that's really. We are missing that. He didn't have any of that. Like, in my heart, I know. I feel like I dream of a world where all children have world class health. Okay. You dream of that world. That's awesome. Yeah. He's very rational. Yes. He very pragmatic, very smart, very interested in the human condition. Thoughtful, interesting, and will be missed because that's a guy whose voice we'll need. Like, we don't need Sofia Vergara.

[D]

We could get rid of some of the voices.

[A]

Well, I'm not saying die, but at least shut up a minute. Just don't talk. You're not telling me anything. Yeah, but he had a voice.

[D]

Yes, and in his letter, this kind of speaks to his rational mindset that you were talking about. In the letter dated January 1, 2026, he reveals he's still of sound mind and that he's converting to Christianity in his final days because of the risk reward calculation. So he kind of talked about how the risk or reward of accepting Jesus or not on his deathbed before he passed.

[A]

Mm. All right, well, like I said, there are plenty of people I don't miss. But he will be missed.

[B]

He will.

[D]

Yeah. California news. California's voter ID law hits 1 million signatures as Elon Musk blasts the only reason to pose it is to commit fraud. Do you?

[A]

I'm listening to the Supreme Court, and they're arguing over men participating in women's sports. And then there's another talk about voter id, and I feel like we sort of argue over nothing. Oh, yeah, and we also argue over a bunch of sort of no duh or no shit kind of stuff. Like, look, I get. I felt this way about many relationships I've been in. Like, I don't even know what we're arguing about. I'm trying to make sure this is good or help or stop this from happening. It's not like. Like you caught me cheating. I'm trying to do something for you or whatever it is. And, like, we're arguing about it, which I think is very sort of gyno fascistic, which I'm now starting to really start thinking about like everything. California's just all run by chick think and we just argue about everything. Listen, your id. I mean, once in a while somebody will do one of those insane memes where they go, here's what you need your ID for. Oh yeah, and it's 200,000 things. Except for vote in California. Shopify, do not wait too long. 2026 is the year that you're going to get after it, man. Most people have something special to offer but are unsure where to start. With Shopify. This is going to be your year to take matters into your own hands. Shopify gives you everything you need to sell online and in person. Millions of entrepreneurs have already made the leap because it gives you all the tools to make your dream store. Shopify stays up to date with AI tools that help with product descriptions, photos, editing and more. Marketing is built in too. As you grow, Shopify grows with you. You handle more orders, expand to new markets and do it all from the same dashboard. It's Shopify, right?

[B]

Dawson In 2026, stop waiting and start selling with Shopify. Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at shopify.com corolla go to shopify.com corolla that's shopify.com corolla here, your first this new year with Shopify by your side.

[F]

Pluto TV has thousands of free movies and TV shows. This is the mindset.

[A]

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[C]

This is awesome.

[F]

And TV shows like Survivor, SpongeBob SquarePants, the Fairly Odd Parents and Ghosts. Pluto TV is always free.

[C]

Huzzah.

[F]

Pluto TV stream now pay. Never.

[A]

You're welcome. Look, I think if we've established. Okay, let's see if we can break it down beyond politics. We have established you need your ID because things are important or not important, but important. Such as I just got back from doing shows in Denver. It's id. Id, id, id. If I. Mike and I are behind the counter in Burbank and Aunt Esther's asking us for our ID to give us our boarding passes. And I don't say, mind your own beeswax, bitch, cuz I will not get on that plane.

[D]

You didn't say this is racist. However, that person have an ID right now, right?

[A]

Then if I said to someone, I don't get it, why do I have to show an id? They go, because we need to know who you are, because it's important. And I'd go, okay. And when you buy beer and you're 23, they want to see your ID because they don't want to sell it to an underage single. Whatever. And when you check into the hotel, it's more id. And if you do any venue or anything. And the answer is sort of like, well, it's important now. You don't need an ID to walk onto the beach and lay down, but that's not really important, you know? And you may not affect things or hurt anybody. Yeah, but I would argue that the same people are talking about how voting is the most important thing a citizen can do. Well, then is it more important than getting on an airplane or buying a pack of cigarettes or checking into a hotel? And if it is, then why shouldn't we show our id? Which is the weirdest thing, but I have a bigger, broader one, Adam, and I fucking mean it. And listen, fuck everyone with your voting Bullshit. It is 2026. If you do not possess an ID, you do not participate in our system whatsoever. You are not participating. You're not paying taxes, you're not traveling. You're not doing any. I don't even know how it is you would say that you are a member of our society with no id. Yeah, you can't do anything with no id. So I don't even want you to vote because why are you making policy? I'm the one paying all the fucking taxes and you're the one with no fucking id. So if you don't have an id, you do not exist in this society. And the only possible reason you could want someone to vote without an ID is for election fraud.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

There's no other reason. And the fact that these guys can do it with a straight face.

[D]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Is insane in 2026.

[D]

And it makes me more and more suspicious. I've always been somebody who's. I know that there is voter fraud. And I think we should be doing everything to stop. I was never like a big stop the steal person. But then it's the more and more that the Democrats push against. No, we don't want id. No, it's like you're trying to. Why are you doing this? Why are you trying to have it insecure?

[A]

Remember? See, this is that thing. It's. Oh, now they can never say what they want, so they have to come up with some other bullshit excuse. So look at it this way. And then you tell me Biden leaves the fucking border wide Open. He commissions Kamala dumb shit Harris to be the border czar who won't go to the border. And there's tons of footage of oodles, throngs of people just streaming across it, right? They're going into Texas, okay? The governor of Texas says, you know what? If you're not gonna fucking do anything at the border, I'm gonna pile up shipping containers at the edge of the Rio Grande and try to prevent you from coming over. And the Biden administration sues them to take them down. So are they in? What do they want? Yeah, now they want. Well, you go, what do you want, Joe Biden? I want a secure border. Okay, why are you suing Texas to get them to pull the shipping containers out. If you want security and have you remove barbed wire and remove barbed wire. They don't want to, but they don't want any of it. They want fucking borders. They want illegals, and they want them to vote. And if you would have said to me that five years ago, I would have went, oh, come on, get the hell out of here. I don't know what other conclusions we can draw anymore.

[D]

Well, here's the excuse they have. Stephen Richard, the former Maricopa county recorder in Arizona who was in charge of voter registration, said he is concerned that vote by mail ID provisions. So in this provision, the main change would be you have to put the last four digits of your ID number in the mail in ballot. And they say it could discourage some people from sending ballots because they'll be nervous about putting sensitive information in the mail.

[A]

Okay, well, then don't vote, dumb shit. But you gotta flash that ID every 10ft in this society, all right? You don't want to know. You like mail in ballots. You want election day to be a month. You love all the shit that corrupts elections. Yeah. So why.

[D]

And it is like you were saying when you compared it to relationship fights, is you have to find a negative motive to assign to the other person. So Everybody supports voter ID overwhelmingly. I think it's 80% of the country. It's even 53% of Democrats. But they have to say, no, you're doing this because you want to disenfranchise people. You have to come up with a negative.

[A]

They play the racist card to get you to shut up when they don't have any stats, statistics, or reason. Then they play the race card to shut you up, which used to work, but it doesn't work. And by the way, they never tell us their plan for getting these disenfranchised black potential voters. An id. Just give me the. What's the plan then? They don't have IDs. Well, what are we doing here?

[B]

Yeah, they should have gotten to the root causes.

[A]

Get to the root causes. Yeah. Get to the root causes. Yeah.

[D]

In other California news, California has lost a mind boggling $1 trillion in wealth in the past month alone over fears of a billion tax. California has lost a trillion dollars over fears of this proposed billionaire tax. According to one of the state's wealthiest residents, the under fire measure, which even leftist Gavin Newsom opposes, would slap a one time 5% tax on residents worth more than a billion dollars.

[A]

Well, obviously there is. Okay, there's a situation. Okay, if you go, so we have a home and it's winter and the heating bill is through the roof. We need to do something about this heating bill. It's too expensive. And then I would say, well, every sliding glass door and window in this fucking house is wide open. Why don't you shut it? And then you'd go, shut up. We need a bigger furnace. And then I'd go, well, I'll tell you what, but I think you could have a better furnace and close the windows. And then I go, why don't we close all these windows? And they go, we're gonna go burn down a Tesla dealership. You keep talking that way. So my thing is there is a math where you just wring every penny out of everybody who pays taxes. And you could keep up with your spending, but I'm arguing an approach where you stop spending so much and wasting so much and giving so much away and fraud. Yeah, and then you wouldn't have to go milk the guys that are already keeping the lights on by paying all the fucking taxes in your shitty state. So they have a mode that is never closed the window mode. It's always, what's going on with the furnace? And why isn't the furnace paying its fair share? And I'm like, shut all the windows. I don't know. Look, it's real simple. You, you spend more money than comes in. So there's two solutions. There's get more money, but these guys are already at about 50%, so I would argue that's already high. So why not shut a window? Which they won't do, because that's their constituents.

[D]

It's the very angry dad solution. It's to close the windows and turn the lights off before you leave.

[A]

Yes, close the windows. They waste billions of dollars and they argue with, I mean, I mean, 10 seconds ago, Doge Just came around and just went like, hey, I think we're wasting too much money. And you guys all freaked out and started attacking them.

[D]

Well, and do you also feel. I feel like, because this is the billionaire tax, there's a thing on the left. Whenever they want to come up with solutions to this problem, it's always, everyone richer than me should pay more money. Bernie Sanders and everyone lower than me, they should give it to them. But whatever I make is fine.

[A]

Bernie Sanders, for the first 81 years of his life, complained about millionaires. And then somebody tapped him on his shoulder and said, hey, hey, old fuck, guess who else is a millionaire with three houses? And he went, what? And he went, you're a millionaire. And he went, fine, make it billions. And so now he complains about billions. He switched like two years ago from millions to billions because someone had to explain to him that he was a billionaire, too. So, yeah, it's real simple. But also, dumb people don't go for this. No.

[D]

And it's a dumb strategy because the problem here that they're talking about in this article is that they plan to tax these billionaires. And now the billionaires are just leaving California. So we're losing revenue in all these businesses. The co founder of Google, Larry Page, moved a lot of his businesses out, I think.

[A]

Here's what. I haven't said this in a while, but young Adam with fresh ears, will listen. Listen to me. Listen to me, government people. You are in government mainly because you're stupid and can't run your own business. You are choosing not to be in the private sector because you would not do well in the private sector because you're not smart enough and you're not hardworking enough and you're not anything enough. So you've entered the government. Now you have a plan where you're gonna play chess with people that are much smarter than you, who are private sector billionaires. And the reason that guy's a billionaire is not because he gives away his money to assholes to waste it. He's smarter than you are. So you come up with a plan. And then he counters with another plan and you get checkmated. And that's all this ever is. They go, we're going to do a thing where we charge 5% or 10% and a house is over. And they go, all right, I'm going to sell my. What's the cutoff? $7 million. I'm going to sell my house for $0.69, and then I'll save 5%. Then they'll kick back on whatever. They'll do what they have to do. Because you think about our government. I mean, you think about how you got to outwit Maxine Waters. Everybody said, very high, Mars set. Very high. You better be a master chess champion. A grand champion.

[D]

And you have to look at her, just grimacing, frowning face, staring at her.

[A]

Have you seen how dumb a lot of these fucking people are? And it's. You know, Gloria Sanchez Escuela from the city council is going to out. You think she, Elon Musk, is not gonna be able to get one.

[D]

I don't even know if that was a real name or a name. It sounded totally credible.

[A]

I made up a name. Whenever they have three, this always makes them dumb. And she's the first Latina, and she's trying to argue with Elon. And Elon's gonna pick it all up and move it to Texas. And you idiots are gonna be left with nothing. Because they're in the business of making money. You're in the business of wasting money. So you're fine.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

You always will have business. These people have to make these decisions. They have stockholders.

[D]

And Elon's the perfect example. You were talking about where they're trying to outsmart people that are way smarter than them because they hate Elon now. And there's even. I see people on social media comment that they think he's unintelligent or he's. They try to talk down on him and it's like, he's built billions of different corporations.

[A]

Now we're getting into, like, major chick Think where. Chick with her Chicano studies major from the junior college.

[D]

Like Gloria Escuela. I think that's what she majored in.

[A]

What has Elon Musk ever done? Nothing. Nothing. Okay. He thinks he's smart. He not smart. He's dumb. All right, keep talking. Now you sound a little dumb. There was a woman, there really was a city councilwoman in San Diego that about five years ago, she was just like, fuck Elon Musk. Get the hell out. Just leave. And he's like, all right, I'll take me and my 17,000 jobs. He'll leave in a rocket and then catch it and catch it. Yeah, right, right. And you invented a recipe for. I was gonna say gazpacho, but ever since Tim Walsh said gazpacho instead of Gestapo, now I get confused. Yeah, I gotta find that clip. It is a great. It's a great clip. It's San Diego councilwoman telling Elon to go fuck off. Basically is what it was. Yeah. The person who famously tweeted, fuck Elon Musk is Lorena Gonzalez.

[D]

That's almost the name you just made up.

[A]

Escuela Sanchez, who at the time was a California State assembly member, not a San Diego city councilwoman. She resigned from the assembly in January 2022 to lead the California Labor Federation. See, now we have jobs. If someone who tells Elon Musk to fuck off running a labor organization. The Tweet posted in 2020 was in response to Elon Musk's action and comments regarding the closure of the Tesla Fremont factory. Right. So he's moving on. Oh, over COVID 19. Okay. She's always. She always comes back. Yeah. So she was a prominent San Diego area politician, later member of the San Diego County Board of Supervisors. She was a state level official when she tweeted. All right, so we got a bunch of dumb chicks fucking up everything and we gotta fix. We're gonna have to fix it.

[D]

Well, and smart chicks are gets this too. It says of the billionaires that are leaving In N Out, heiress Lindsey Snyder has relocated to Tennessee and established a new In N Out corporate office there.

[A]

Over this California.

[D]

They're scaring everybody away.

[A]

You chased out In N Out Burger. You chased out the original California 1940s. You chased out In N Out, which is gut check time for California. If you get in and out Burger to leave, that means anyone will leave.

[D]

Do you ever. Do you think this will be the final straw? I always feel like as a Californian, there's all these things that happen. First it was the COVID lockdowns, then it was like the homeless tent camps everywhere. Then it was the fires. Maybe it will be forcing in and out to leave. Like, I always think, what is the last straw? That Californians will finally be like, ah, I'm not a Republican, but let's try something different.

[A]

They have a unique ability to kind of to stay the course regardless of anything. I mean, I grew up with these people, so they don't. They're not in the business of ever admitting they're wrong. Yeah, I mean, they literally, with a straight face will go like, Joe Biden was one of the best presidents this country's ever had. Meanwhile, Trump's got some kind of mental disorder. It's like, wow, you are. You really ride this one out, can't you? So disappointers, always. No, my saying is disappointers never disappoint. Meaning all the stupid idiots who make all the horrible decisions and do all the bad voting Never learn from anything that goes wrong. Now will the people kind of swell up a little and sort of at a certain point go. I live in the Palisades and I vote Democrat, but I've been trying to get a permit for six years, and I kind of like my permit, so I'm just gonna vote for another guy. There might be some of that. I think there will be. All right, Adam, good job.

[D]

Thank you.

[A]

By the way, with that news very strong, I'm gonna be in Oregon Friday and Saturday, Grants pass at the Rogue theater. And then off Saturday to Bend, Oregon at Midtown ballroom and then New York Rodney's. That'll be the 29th, but lots of shots coming up in New York and D.C. and I think RFK Jr's gonna come out to Kennedy Center. Enjoy it. Even though Trump put his name in front of his family's name at the Kennedy center, he called and wanted to come out. I don't know.

[D]

That's awesome.

[A]

That's funny. Adam, you got dates. So, yeah.

[D]

Yeah. March 4th and 5th, I will be at Snappers in Fort Myers, Florida, with Yakov. Shm.

[A]

Oh, we love Yakov. And Erica Rhodes, you can go to punch up live. They have all her dates. Until next time. S for Erica and Adam saying mahala.

[B]

You can leave us a voicemail at 888-634-1744 and be sure and get tickets to see the ace [e-mail].

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Pluto TV has thousands of free movies and TV shows. This is the mindset free. This is the mantra free. This is the with movies like Joe dirt pixels and 50 first dates, this is awesome. And TV shows like Survivor, SpongeBob SquarePants, the Fairly Odd Parents and Ghosts. Pluto TV is always free.

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Huzzah.

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Pluto TV stream now pay never.

[A]

You're welcome.

[F]

Pluto TV has thousands of free movies and TV shows. This is the mindset free. This is the mantra free. This is the with movies like Joe dirt pixels and 50 first dates, this is awesome. And TV shows like Survivor, SpongeBob SquarePants, the Fairly Parents and Ghosts. Pluto TV is always free. Pluto TV stream now pay never.

[A]

You're welcome.