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Adam Carolla
Well in this episode, very funny. Comedian Zhao Ying Summers is back. Also, Mayhem's got the news and we'll do all that right after this.
Dawson
Don't miss the Ace man this November in the Lone Star State in Fort Worth. Thursday, Nov. 20 Two shows, 7pm and 9:30 at Hyenas Comedy Nightclub. Then it's off to the Woodlands, Texas which is near Houston for two shows Friday, November 21st at the Do Si do, the Big Barn. Then Saturday, November 22nd, the Ace Man's at the Ratt Snake Roadhouse in Walnut Springs, Texas. Grab tickets and enjoy the show. More information@adamcarolla.com.
Adam Carolla
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Dawson
From Corolla 1 Studios in Glendale, California, this is the Adam Carolla Show. Adam's guest today, Xiaoying Summers. Plus the news with Jason Mayhem Miller. And now he'd never be in the Epstein emails because that would mean he knows how to use his email. Adam Carolla.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Get it on. Got to get it on the choice. But to get on Mandate, you get it on Galleon. Summers in the studio. She's got a special man. It's out on Hulu. Yes, it's on Hulu. What species are you? Is that right?
Zhao Ying Summers
Yeah. What species are you? I'm trying to find out the different species of humans so I can be racist against them. I need to find out what they are made of. Ah.
Adam Carolla
All right. What do you think? Who are the best?
Zhao Ying Summers
I think the best are the. A really, really, really white person. Tell me they are a quarter black or Native American. I just. It's suspicious.
Adam Carolla
Suspicious? You don't trust that?
Zhao Ying Summers
I just don't see Native American in them. Maybe the blood on their hands.
Adam Carolla
Here's what appears. You know, let me tell you my take on the Native Americans. Yeah, they're like Paprika, the spice. A little bit is good, but you can't dump the whole thing in. So the 100% Native American fat alcoholic who doesn't work all day. But if you're just, like, 110 Cherokee, that's what gives you your tenacity.
Zhao Ying Summers
Yes.
Adam Carolla
You know what I mean? Like, it's good, but. But it's a seasoning. You know what I mean?
Zhao Ying Summers
Casino hover to diversity.
Adam Carolla
Diversity.
Zhao Ying Summers
Yeah. You can own casinos if you have 10%.
Adam Carolla
Oh, yeah, that's. That's wrong. That. That's what I'm. That's what I'm saying. You don't want too much, but you still get a little casino bump.
Zhao Ying Summers
Mm. That's nice.
Adam Carolla
And it's a fine spice.
Zhao Ying Summers
Yes. Yeah. Yeah, I agree with that.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Now, there are other cultures. German, Italian. You can just be all Italian or all German, no problem. Maybe you're successful, maybe you're not, but you can be all of that. You see what I'm saying? But you cannot be all American Indian.
Zhao Ying Summers
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
It's a disaster.
Zhao Ying Summers
That's true.
Adam Carolla
It doesn't work. You can be all Chinese.
Zhao Ying Summers
Been watching Yellowstone, and I saw you hang up with Kevin Kaufner.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Zhao Ying Summers
You guys are cute together.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, well, I took him out first. We went on a date for his 70th birthday.
Zhao Ying Summers
Wow.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Except for I didn't even. He's my kind of guy in that. There was a UFC fight. I had a couple of tickets, and somebody said to me, well, why don't you invite Kevin Costner? And then I said, he's never gonna go with me to a UFC fight. Why would he do that? And someone said, Well, I don't know. He likes you.
Zhao Ying Summers
You need a bodyguard.
Adam Carolla
Maybe he would go, yeah, and carry you in like Whitney Houston. So I said, well, that's not gonna work. But I said, I'll do it anyway. So I hit him up. I said, you wanna go to a UFC fight? He said, when is it? I said, this Saturday. He goes, well, okay, let's go. I said, okay. And then we got to the UFC fight. We're sitting there, and at some point he said, I've somehow figured out that was his birthday, his 70th birthday.
Zhao Ying Summers
Big one.
Adam Carolla
He never said anything, and he wasn't doing anything unless I obviously didn't have anything to do, because when I said, you want to go to a fight? He didn't go, well, it's my birthday and I got plans.
Zhao Ying Summers
That's so funny.
Adam Carolla
That's funny.
Zhao Ying Summers
Yeah. That's a real friend.
Adam Carolla
Well, I like the guy. I got another guy I'm interested in. I want to get your take on this. Okay.
Zhao Ying Summers
Yes.
Adam Carolla
All right. So good to be some Indian, but not all Indian.
Zhao Ying Summers
I agree. I think. I don't want to be racist, but if you look at Miss World, all the Indian, Miss World, they all look.
Adam Carolla
Oh, you're. You're talking that Indian. Yeah, I'm talking American.
Zhao Ying Summers
Native American. I just feel like for 100% pure Native American Indian, they don't have access to do things that. To utilize the Native American power. But if you have. You are running around in normal society, being white or black or brown, and you have Native American, you know how to utilize the benefits you have as Native American is really great if you know how to use it.
Adam Carolla
I was talking to one of my son's friends. His mom is American Indian or part American Indian. His dad is not at all, and he gets a check from the casino. The tribe sends him a check every month. His mom gets money.
Zhao Ying Summers
Oh, my God.
Adam Carolla
By the way, free money doesn't help people. Everybody. I don't know if you want to check obesity and alcoholism and stuff like that amongst the tribe, but sitting home waiting for a check fucks people up. Well, it fucks up bears and it fucks up people, and it fucks up all. All of God's creatures.
Zhao Ying Summers
It really does. If you never earn that money, the money is going to make you pay. It really does make you pay when people don't earn their own money and getting it just folding around.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Speaking of earning money on Hulu and Disney plus Disney plus.
Zhao Ying Summers
So I'm the second Chinese Disney princess after Mulan. I'm already a man, so very excited.
Adam Carolla
And that's out as we speak.
Zhao Ying Summers
Yes, it came out November 8th.
Adam Carolla
Also, I want to talk about this now. This is a weird one. I have a few friends who study TV commercials. Nobody else studies TV commercials. I do. No one else does. Mostly I'm ridiculed for studying TV commercials, but as I've said, that's where all the information about your society is right now. It's a timestamp.
Zhao Ying Summers
It is.
Adam Carolla
She should go back and look at the commercials from the 70s. Like, Bob never wanted a second cup of my coffee. It's a woman going into a suicidal shame spiral because her husband didn't love her coffee, which doesn't exist. That commercial would be super confusing if you ran it now. But it was not confusing then. Commercials cannot be confusing. They can be everything, but they can't be confused.
Zhao Ying Summers
That's true.
Adam Carolla
Now Dawson's a commercial watcher and Brad, the weird guy watches football here is also commercial watcher.
Dawson
I dig Brad.
Adam Carolla
I don't know anybody else that watches commercials but Dawson and Brad and myself. Everyone else fast forwards to them or streams by or they don't pay attention. Don't pay attention. But there's this one that's been going a little weird for me, which is Billy Bob Thornton is doing the phone commercial, right?
Jason 'Mayhem' Miller
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
And it's for some cell phone, Verizon or T Mobile. Yeah, one of those things, right. And then they got Luke Wilson to go do the other one for the other one. And all of a sudden Luke Wilson is got some sort of homespun thing where he's like walking in a denim jacket. He's walking down a country road. He's like, people in these parts, they appreciate value. And I'm like, you're Luke Wilson. What, you don't play a rancher, do you? Play a rancher? On a long running series that I'm unaware of. Like why, Where'd that come from?
Dawson
He's McConaughey adjacent. He's the affordable McConaughey.
Adam Carolla
He also was in Horizon, the Kevin Costner Western. Maybe that's it. But all of a sudden he's like, people around these parts. Pert niller flip when they got their cell bill and he's doing this kind of homespun Americana thing that I don't know what it is. I don't know when he's. To me, he's a guy from Idiocracy and a bunch of other stuff.
Zhao Ying Summers
But Legole blonde, he's a lawyer, Right.
Dawson
The other thing too, when I see this, saw this commercial. I question whether or not it's a direct attack against the Billy Bob Thornton commercial.
Adam Carolla
That's what I thought it was.
Dawson
So. Well, now, Billy, is Luke Wilson totally acting in this or is he supposed to be this homespun?
Adam Carolla
Is he making fun of Billy Bob, Texas?
Dawson
I believe it.
Adam Carolla
All right, so something happened. So Billy Bob in the first commercials is walking around and he has Liz Warren's haircut. He has Senator Liz Warren. He has her hair in the first version of this. And it was driving me nuts because.
Dawson
Speaking of the right amount of Native American Liz Warren.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, perfect amount. So successful. Yeah. If you look at her hair and you look at his. Just show me Billy Bob's first. The only ones that ever. The only ones that ever come up is Billy Bob's T Mobile. Whatever, just throw one up there. But the point is, she, he. You can just play it. But he's got. All right, stop it there. Okay. The hair's gone weird, right? Yeah, like he's a kind of a strawberry blonde with bangs. P.S. liz Warren's hair. Okay, so the hair is weird on Billy Bob now. It's not like, oh, he dyed his hair that. That's not what it. The colors off. Something's wrong. Okay. So then I start complaining about his weird hair.
Zhao Ying Summers
Uh huh.
Adam Carolla
And then the next commercial I see for T mobile is he's wearing a black baseball hat, but it's a black baseball hat that looks like somebody removed it from a box with tongs and like set it on his head.
Dawson
Brand new.
Adam Carolla
It's brand new. It's not. Hey, shucks, I'm a rancher guy and I work these fences and I work these fields. Like Billy Bob's character is not supposed to have a brand new, no scuffs, never been worn, never been broken in baseball hat. Because he's the down to earth rancher dude who's walking the country roads telling you about T Mobile. And he's wearing like a flannel shirt and a black. He's got a belt.
Dawson
There should be a crease on the brim because he puts it in his back pocket.
Adam Carolla
That's right. When he goes into the feed. Martin. Yeah. He takes the hat off because Annie, who manages to feed mart, likes it that way.
Dawson
It's just good manners.
Adam Carolla
Right? So now I'm wondering where that fucking hat come from and what are they doing with this hat. And then how come the art department or wardrobe doesn't break it in a little bit. And by the way, I've made movies you don't hand, like a guy on a construction site a brand new denim shirt that's just brand new with creases in and stuff. You wash it 10 times and you rough it up a little. Then you put it on the guy, and he looks like that's his construction shirt. So now I'm wondering, what's up with this hat? So I come over here and I start complaining with the guys, what's up with the hat? What's up with Billy's hat? First he's got the. He's got the Liz Warren hair.
Zhao Ying Summers
Lesbian hair.
Adam Carolla
He's got lesbian hair. Now he's got a weird, mysterious hat.
Dawson
There's something going on.
Adam Carolla
I start saying, what's going on with the hat? And then, of course, all my friends go, I don't know, because I don't waste time watching commercials, you asshole. But Brad. Brad knows. Brad says, oh, yeah, I've seen the hat. I've seen the hat. I said, what's wrong with the hat? It's too new. It's too new.
Zhao Ying Summers
So.
Adam Carolla
And there's no so. Okay. So then I say to Andrew, go online and find me that hat. Find me. It's the latest T Mobile commercial. The newest one.
Dawson
Yesterday, twice.
Adam Carolla
It's the newest one. They play it all. All during football. They play it during football. I go, go find that. Well, he goes online. But he. He finds. I don't know, Andrew. Eight commercials, four commercials. No hat. No hat commercial. Just weird Liz Warren lesbian hair commercial. No hat. So the latest one is not. They didn't put it up. So I'm like, what's going on? So then I'm sitting and watching the game and nobody's paying attention. And pow. Hat commercial pops up with Billy Bob. And I yell, brad, hat. Hat, everyone, hat. You know, I got to yell out what screen it's on because there's five TVs. You know, I yell like, beta screen, Charlie, hat. Hat. Hat. And everyone's looking at me going, yeah, okay, relax. And the hat, There is no hair coming out around it or under it. It's pure black. It was put on in post. It's a CGI hat, Dawson. It's a CGI hat.
Zhao Ying Summers
No.
Adam Carolla
Yes. Yes. They put it. They put it on. I'm convinced it was put on and post. That's why it looks so black and perfect. Oh, it's a post hat.
Zhao Ying Summers
It's a hijab.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Dawson
First of all, I loved Liz Warren lesbian hair when I first saw him at the Lilith Fair.
Adam Carolla
They're good. Good band. Good life. But why?
Dawson
Why the over effort? What are they covering?
Adam Carolla
Okay, this is. He had too many people come up to him and go, what the fuck? With the hair and that commercial, right?
Dawson
And so they had a hat on him.
Adam Carolla
They eyed a hat on him at his behest. Maybe it is the hat. That's when you. It's called a hat. When you have a request about a hat. When you insist that somebody. You should know about American culture.
Zhao Ying Summers
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
When you insist that somebody put a hat on you, it's called a behat.
Zhao Ying Summers
Oh, yeah.
Adam Carolla
Add your behat at your behat at his own behat.
Dawson
They teach that in third grade English, huh? But yeah, yeah.
Adam Carolla
Okay, so.
Dawson
So this is a scandal. This is bigger than McCarthy in the comments.
Adam Carolla
This is huge. This is huge.
Dawson
You can't AI a hat.
Zhao Ying Summers
Yeah, they have all the money in the world. They should have the word of people to actually tell him this hair is not gonna work.
Adam Carolla
And they run. Okay, so they run this commercial all during football and they put their spots on the Internet, but not this one, which is weird because they have all the other ones on there. Not the post hat one. And it got added after he got so much shit from the guys in his band about having weird strawberry blonde hair that he insisted a hat be put on in post. And they didn't think anyone would notice.
Zhao Ying Summers
Oh, wow.
Adam Carolla
And they didn't think I would have the balls to speak about it.
Dawson
This is confirmed. It's an AI hat.
Adam Carolla
Here's what we know so far.
Dawson
Okay. Okay.
Adam Carolla
And I know you probably wanted to talk about this as well.
Zhao Ying Summers
Yes, I think that's probably the reason why Angelina Jolie removed the dragon tattoo on her arm when she saw that hat.
Adam Carolla
Did she remove it or is that just AI?
Zhao Ying Summers
Yeah, it could be AI. Just makeup.
Adam Carolla
Okay, so everything's in question now. Okay. Okay, here's what we know. The hair from the commercial is weird and embarrassing and sad and looks weird. Like the very first time I saw it, I just yelled at the TV what the fuck is going on? And so did everyone else. So there's no way this didn't trickle down to Billy Bob, right? Somebody. He's been on the Internet, he's seen the tweets, his buddies in the band. He has a fucking band. Must have told people have told Billy Bob. All right. That much we know. It got to Billy Bob.
Zhao Ying Summers
It feel like the hair look like the last few days of Bruce Jenner.
Adam Carolla
The last days of Bruce Jenner when.
Zhao Ying Summers
He slowly just have dance going away.
Adam Carolla
When he was becoming a Woman.
Zhao Ying Summers
Yeah.
Dawson
I want to read that book.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. You're at the end of the Bruce Jenner era with that hair. I'm telling you, you can find a Liz Warren pick and whatever pic, you can do an A and a B. It's pretty damn close. Okay, so here's what we know. We don't know everything for certain, but here's what we know. The hair was a mess and he was made aware of it. He also knew that this was a campaign where they shot eight of these things, but only four had aired, right? So he knew this whole hair campaign was going into the new year. He's contractually shot, like eight of these things got paid. And this thing's going. This. The new one's going to come out every two weeks on NFL and he's got to sit around and watch fucking football on Sunday with his bandmates that start laughing every time he pops up. Right.
Zhao Ying Summers
Transitioning into the new year as a woman.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, right. So he got hold of somebody and said, once the next one dropping. And they said, well, it's going to come out in two days. And they went, not with that. I don't want weird fucking hair guy in that thing. And they went, well, Billy, listen, Sling Blade, we didn't shoot one with a French fried potato on your head. Thank you. We don't have a hat. It's not on. You didn't do it. You did it with the weird Liz Warren lesbian pre op Bruce Jenner hair. And then he went, can you get a hat onto my hat post? And they went like, what kind of hat? You know? And they went, well, like, like the guy wear like a black baseball hat, like a ball hat. Why wasn't he wearing a hat in the first. Why no hat for the first four? Where's the hat, bro? You're out walking the country roads. Where's the hat? No hat. Fifth one hat pops in, but it's too black. It looks like it's felt. It looks like it's like black felt. Listen, if you are doing. Let's just say you're in wardrobe, right? Your wardrobe, and you go, what are we doing? We're doing a T Mobile commercial with Billy Bob. They go, well, what's the deal? You know, jeans, flannel, leather belt, big belt buckle, some boots. He's walking down. He's walking the country. Heartland. Shit, right? Flyover, you know, salt of the earth. Shit, sorry. We're looking at Liz Warren's. It's pretty good. It's the same color. Huel. Mm. All right, look, We've talked about mornings. Be a little bit hectic. Juggling stuff. The dog, the emails, the keys. You don't want to skip breakfast or just do a cup of coffee.
Jason 'Mayhem' Miller
No good.
Adam Carolla
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Dawson
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Zhao Ying Summers
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Adam Carolla
Okay, I bring this up to you. The wardrobe chick, you know what she do? She would get a trucker's hat. She would get like a trucker type hat. It's the type of hat Billy Bob would keep in the back pocket of his Wranglers. Right? Right. And she'd have she do up some sort of fake insignia that was like Joe Bob's truck and co or something. Something they could clear Billy Bob's ranch. Something's clearable and they take it and they'd age it down. They'd like scuff up the brim a little and they'd age it up. They put a little. That weird sort of clay dirt on it, you know, and sort of knock it down. And it would call for in the script it would go, he's wearing a trucker's hat. That hat's been with him for 14 years now. And he walks the highways and the byways of the heartland. They wouldn't say jet black weird brand new felt hat. Right. It wouldn't do that. That hat was put on in post.
Zhao Ying Summers
In post to cover up his transition hair.
Adam Carolla
Now transition hair.
Dawson
There's one hole in this theory.
Adam Carolla
Go ahead.
Dawson
Because the new hat commercial appears to be a retaliation again to Luke Wilson. So I don't know that these were all recorded prior. I'd have to see the commercial again. But I. It seemed like it was a direct response to Luke Wilson's.
Adam Carolla
I'm gonna. Here's what I'm doing to him. All right, well, you gotta fight now. You can't find the commercial, right. You're gonna have to just set the TiVo.
Dawson
It'll be on Monday Night Football tonight. We can record it, I'm sure.
Adam Carolla
All right, let's try.
Dawson
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
We gotta get to the bottom of this. Very least.
Dawson
We can film it on the phone.
Adam Carolla
Xiao Ying may have a recording of it in her car.
Dawson
She does.
Adam Carolla
I know she wanted to talk about this.
Dawson
We were talking about this five minutes before the show. She rather than enough time.
Zhao Ying Summers
That's very interesting. They have so much money for the AT&T budget. And they put on this. This is. This is.
Adam Carolla
It's a brand new generic flat. Okay, but here's what I'm gonna say. This. It's like, yeah, we've just cooked on up, but that's what it looks like. Can I say this? Let me tell you how Billy Bob rolls. They said the only reason he's doing this commercial is because they said, we will give you $1 million for one day's work. One day's work. And they went, what are we doing? We're just gonna go out to Bakersfield, we're gonna go on this guy's ranch, and you're just gonna walk up and down and you're gonna be talking about cell coverage. And we're gonna do a bunch of them. We'll just knock them all out in one day. So that's why there is no hat. See, I think if he shot three of them and then was going back to shoot three, two months later, he'd show up with a hat.
Zhao Ying Summers
Yeah, it was a quickie.
Adam Carolla
It was a quickie. It was a money grab. Yeah. And a hat set. And that's a post hat. Maybe, though.
Dawson
Maybe the hair thing did get to him. And he's just like. He's there on the set and he's not thinking. He's like, God damn it, anybody got a goddamn hat? And then they had Amazon order one and delivered.
Adam Carolla
They would have aged it down.
Dawson
Yeah, they should have.
Zhao Ying Summers
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
But maybe they were on a time crunch now. Now, that's a post hat. That's a post hat. And by the way, it's not on the Internet because it's too weird.
Dawson
I know, I know. It's believable, though.
Adam Carolla
It's a believable for you, normal for you. For you mortals, but not for this genius. I blew the lid off his lid.
Jason 'Mayhem' Miller
Yep.
Zhao Ying Summers
It's even more embarrassing. He gets to commit to the lesbian hair. Just be like, I support a trans community.
Adam Carolla
Is there going to be another commercial without a hat? See, I don't think so. And it's all hat head now.
Zhao Ying Summers
Yeah, Maybe a cowboy hat next time. He's going to put on Photoshop.
Adam Carolla
All right, somebody tell me the truth, because I'm not. I can't live in this world.
Dawson
Should be a documentary called the Last Days of Bruce Jenner.
Zhao Ying Summers
If you look at photo of Last Day of Bruce Jenner is the same thing. There's a little spiky pixel, little front.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, early, by the way. I was early. Bruce Jenner. Money. He came In I told Dr. Drew, I walked into Loveline 1997. I said, that dude is turning into a chick. And everyone looked at me and went, I don't know what you're talking about. And they're like, I'm like, he is turning into a chick. This is 97, maybe 98. And everyone looked at me, including Drew, and just went, I don't know what you're talking about. He's the world's greatest athlete. And sure enough. And if you ask Drew, that'll be his example of how does Adam know everything. He'll go, he was on to Bruce.
Zhao Ying Summers
Yeah. He is the world's greatest athlete. And now, you know, like the. Whatever the name is, Caitlyn Jenner is living off all the glory of the athlete. Right. I mean, she's great. I mean, she's famous the day she was born because of Bruce Jenner.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Zhao Ying Summers
If she was just transitioning, she was a random bitch. Nobody know who she is. She won't be uncovered. Vogue.
Adam Carolla
That's true.
Zhao Ying Summers
She's living off the legacy of a man. She was less sexist. But that's true, though. I mean, if she was just a random person transitioning into a woman, nobody want her on Vogue.
Adam Carolla
That's a good point.
Zhao Ying Summers
You know, she's not gonna date a 24 year old hot Malibu supermodel is because she's got the Bruce Jenner money.
Adam Carolla
So.
Zhao Ying Summers
And fame and success.
Adam Carolla
I'm told that Joey, who's a crack, he's a staff member who can find anything on the Internet, says there's no, there's no hat commercial on the Internet. So it's, it's, that's why it's strange, suspicious.
Zhao Ying Summers
They're embarrassed. It's. It look like a hijab. That's what it look like.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Did you say hand job?
Zhao Ying Summers
Hijab. Hijab. Like how Muslim women.
Adam Carolla
Oh, right.
Zhao Ying Summers
Like tight up a black. Right here.
Adam Carolla
Just got it.
Zhao Ying Summers
Cover up.
Adam Carolla
Black hand job. Got it.
Zhao Ying Summers
Handy job. Hydra hijab.
Adam Carolla
All right, now another news. I don't know what's going on, but I like hash browns. You like breakfast hash browns?
Zhao Ying Summers
The potatoes?
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Zhao Ying Summers
I like them because it fill you up. You have hash browns. It's carbs.
Adam Carolla
It's so good. It's the best in the diner. And then I realize you cannot get hash browns. So I'm in Malibu. There's no hash browns in all of Malibu because they're only highfalutin restaurants. And they won't do hash browns. They do cubed potatoes, new potatoes, purple Potatoes, breakfast potatoes, they do everything, but they don't do fucking hash browns, which are the best. So. And we're gonna have to. I gotta get Rick Caruso elected so I can snap into action here and start laying down some laws, which is here. Here would be my law for breakfast. If you wanna serve breakfast. And these all serve breakfast. It's the same law that I have with your fucking retarded passion fruit iced tea, which, by the way, is going away because nobody likes it.
Zhao Ying Summers
Passion fruit look like a snobbery, you see?
Adam Carolla
Like it's horrible.
Zhao Ying Summers
Like old calm with some yellow gooey thing in there.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, Like a hand job, like you were talking about. Yeah, yeah. So you are allowed to serve your shitty passion fruit iced tea. I will allow you to serve that as a restaurant, but you must serve regular iced tea. And then you can do that and no one will fucking order it. But you can't have no iced tea and just passion fruit iced tea. And you're allowed to have new potatoes, breakfast potatoes, purple potatoes, cubed potatoes, whatever the fuck you want with your potatoes. But you must have hash browns first, and then you could have the other ones. So I was in Boston, I was at the hotel. They gave me a voucher for breakfast or whatever. Got the breakfast sandwich. It came with tater tots. Now, I don't know what's going down with the dumbing down of America, but everyone I know loves tater tots. And I fucking don't like tater tots. I don't want them in my breakfast burrito. Everyone loves them in the breakfast burrito. I don't want them on the side. I want fucking hash browns on the side. And all tater Tots are a bunch of little mini hard hash browns made.
Dawson
For children and poor people.
Adam Carolla
Made for children and poor people and people that are 100% American Indian. Those are the only. That's their business.
Zhao Ying Summers
It's prepackaged, right?
Adam Carolla
I don't know.
Zhao Ying Summers
It's free.
Adam Carolla
Tater tots made a comeback. And for some reason, all the dumb shits say they love the tater Tots. I love fucking hash browns. But anyway, comes with tater tots. I didn't eat them. I gave them to my gogs then. Are you ready?
Zhao Ying Summers
Yes.
Adam Carolla
I was at the Four Seasons Hotel in Austin, and I gotta say, we do the Joe Rogan Show. They got us couple of. Couple of places to Four Seasons. Very nice. And you get this voucher. It's like 100 bucks worth of food, you know, you spent. So I went down, I Said, well, I'm gonna have me some breakfast.
Zhao Ying Summers
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
And I went down and I looked at the breakfast menu at Four Seasons and they had like breakfast potatoes. Cause of course the fucking Four Seasons, they're not gonna have hash browns. But one thing had an egg dish and omelette, whatever. And it said, and hash browns. And I was like, are you kidding me? Hash browns at the Four Seasons? Because it's high fucking falutin. And everyone says to me, everyone tries to argue with me all the time. Whenever I go, where the fuck are the hash browns? You know, half the answer I go, well, maybe they don't have them because they're too expensive. Too expensive. Waffle House and IHOP has hash browns. It's not a money thing. It's a snobbery thing.
Zhao Ying Summers
Yes, they're snobs. Yeah.
Adam Carolla
So I get excited and I say, all right, give me the omelette with the hash browns. And it shows up and it's an omelette. And then there's two round. What looks like a. It's like if you took a hockey puck and you cut it in half and there's just two rounds. Hockey pucks of potatoes. And I'm like, not hash browns. Stop fucking doing this to hash browns. Stop putting them in your weird shapes. Stop doing the fucking tater tots. I want a pile of hash browns that I can mix in with the yolk and slide over and get some. Not these weird, hard, shiny pucks. But it's all not. There's not a human being that orders this that wants the hash browns in this weird hard form. Nobody wants it. It says hash browns. Give us fucking hash browns. Can you just give us fucking. Everyone I know, when they go out to breakfast, fuck it. Kids, adults, everybody, they all fucking love hash browns. I don't go to breakfast anywhere in Malibu because there's no place that serves hash browns. They serve hard cooked cubes of potatoes that are burnt on all fucking sides. And they don't absorb anything. And they don't. What is going on? Why. Why this self imposed hash brown prison sentence? Why did we do this?
Zhao Ying Summers
What did the hash brown do? Because the name brown.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Zhao Ying Summers
Hash white.
Dawson
It's racist.
Zhao Ying Summers
Hash yellow.
Adam Carolla
It's. Fancy restaurants think that hash browns. What they do is they go, oh, you want hash browns?
Jason 'Mayhem' Miller
Go.
Adam Carolla
The fucking IHOP in Van Nuys were so and so with a French name in Malibu, right? We do new purple cube potatoes that nobody wants the place and don't mix, by the way. It doesn't. The thing about the hash browns is you mix. You get the mix, you get the yolk over here and you slide. You do a little ketchup on the edge of the fork and you do this little thing. We get a little piece of egg and omelette in there.
Dawson
The breakfast mall, maybe.
Zhao Ying Summers
If you keep eating hash brown, you cannot become gender fluid. Because it's fluid. They want people to just become gay.
Adam Carolla
You think there's something in it?
Zhao Ying Summers
I think you just. You're just not gonna. I don't know.
Adam Carolla
I swear to God. Look up Four Seasons, Austin, Texas. Like hash brown or something. They give me two hockey pucks of hash brown, which are two, by the way. The ratio between the golden cooked part and kind of the fluffy milk milky part has to be right. This ratio is all off. There's not enough. The same with the tater tots. There's too much. First off, you have to use a knife to cut it because you can't use the side of your fork. It's too fucking hard. It's a disaster.
Zhao Ying Summers
So weird. People are just trying to sound fancy. They don't even know. This is crazy.
Adam Carolla
It's crazy, right?
Zhao Ying Summers
I'm hungry and I want some hash browns.
Dawson
You should only try to eat in places for breakfast where the waitress shows up with coffee in hand.
Jason 'Mayhem' Miller
Yeah.
Dawson
Those places always have hash browns.
Zhao Ying Summers
Yes. They're ready to give it to you.
Adam Carolla
And if they. And if they call you hun, there's gonna be even better hash brown.
Dawson
Yes, man.
Adam Carolla
Can I top you off, hun?
Zhao Ying Summers
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
You wanna be topped off, Hunter?
Zhao Ying Summers
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
You get that? You hear that? That's hash brown City, usa. So sad. Tater tots in Boston and hockey pucks in Austin.
Zhao Ying Summers
You can eat it like an ice cream. You can eat a spoon. You have to eat.
Dawson
John Hyatt song.
Adam Carolla
That's my hash brown blues. I got the hash brown blues. Ted at Tots in Boston, Hockey pucks in Austin. I got me singing called. Singing them. Hash brown blue. New potatoes. Get them out of here. Fingerling potatoes. I ain't no queer. Go right to hash brown blues. Oh, I got him. And it's. It's. It's you very much. San Francisco and la. Because you're the ones who did this.
Dawson
I could be the new Don Hodiak song.
Adam Carolla
Put a hash brown blues in the AI. Let's see if we can get a good song going.
Dawson
Sad.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. All right. Challenge. What do you got?
Zhao Ying Summers
I talk about the Four Seasons in Austin. That's where I rode my cowboy. Remember I had a one night Stand. And I just thought I'd never see the guy again. And it turns out we are. I know he's gonna propose to me because I pick the rings. I know the rings. I know what they look like. I picked them. So he has them. He's gonna ask me to marry him soon.
Adam Carolla
He is the. He's the advertising computer guy.
Zhao Ying Summers
He was the Tesla guy who was in Tesla. And now he. He start to. He left Tesla, he got into filming. So I hired him as my videographer last year.
Adam Carolla
Not the band Tesla?
Zhao Ying Summers
No, no, the Tesla Tesla. The autistic Elon Tesla.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, that one.
Zhao Ying Summers
Yeah.
Dawson
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
There is a band. We say he was in Tesla. I'd go, was he playing the bass?
Zhao Ying Summers
No, he doesn't know music. He likes music. He can't sing.
Adam Carolla
Right, Right.
Zhao Ying Summers
Yeah. But turns out I trapped him.
Adam Carolla
But you trapped him in Austin.
Zhao Ying Summers
Four Seasons Austin. I stayed there and I wasn't going to have sex with him. Not because I'm not a hoe. It's because I cannot afford to have a one night stand. I always wanted to marry that guy later, even though it's a pity fuck. So I can't have one night stand due to personal shortcomings. Because as a Chinese woman, when you are growing up like I. We don't have a sex talk. When I had my period, I was watching the Chinese palace shows where the. Where the king have 3,000 wives. They are competing to get pregnant. If they have you saw each other get pregnant, they will get them poisoned. So they get a miscarriage. So you just see people losing the babies. That's all I know. So I have appeared as a mom. I lost the baby and she beat me up and she thought I had sex. Turns out that I just had my period. So she told me, you are becoming a woman now, so you can't touch yourself. I said, what? What do you touch? Myself? She goes, just can't do it.
Adam Carolla
You're gonna get uglier from touching yourself.
Zhao Ying Summers
Yes. I said, but you told me it's not possible. She goes, everything's possible. You work at Nike's, right? I said, actually I am at Rebach. They didn't take me. It was so basically I didn't, I didn't. I don't know how to touch myself. When I was single, I don't use toys. When I. When I have sex with a man, I want to marry them. So I realize I can't afford that. So when I had sex, right.
Adam Carolla
So like even if you're throwing a pity fuck. Yeah. At a Guy. Your Chinese heritage will kick in.
Zhao Ying Summers
Yeah. Trying to rescue him.
Adam Carolla
Right. Whereas I'm, you know, from America and from the Valley and I'm an atheist. So if I was doing a pity fuck.
Zhao Ying Summers
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Or what we call. You should call a mercy mission, I think back there I could go home and not worry about it. Yeah.
Zhao Ying Summers
I will try to think about what. What should I do? Because Confucius would punish me for being a whore, so.
Adam Carolla
So you threw the guy Pity, actually.
Zhao Ying Summers
He was very hot and I felt that I. I want to him, but I know I can't afford it. He's gonna probably gonna date other girls because nobody want date a female comedian. So I. But the girls at the comedy club, they saw him, they're going, he's so hot. I want to fuck you.
Adam Carolla
Oh, okay.
Zhao Ying Summers
You know, as I told everyone to him, I said, I have to force Seasons.
Adam Carolla
You're staying.
Zhao Ying Summers
Then I. I stayed at Four Seasons. I had a deal. I had a deal at the Four Seasons. I was gonna stay there for a cheap. For cheap amount. So I said, I have a stalker. Can you drive me back to the Four Seasons? He said, of course. And then I. I said, let's have 10 shots. And he said, I don't drink that much. So I just, just drink. And then he said, have a good night. We had 10 shots at the bar. I said, do you want some tea? Let's have some tea to sober up. He said, where? I said, in my room. He's like, okay. He went up there. I went to the bathroom to clean my armpit and my vagina. I wanted to wash it real quick so it smelled good. I got to bed naked and he was making the tea. He's like, you are naked. He covers eyes. I said, either you're a gay or autistic, I don't know, but you're not going anywhere. So I said, we're going to have sex. He's like, I just, I don't want, you know. You don't have a condom. I said, I Uber eat a condom right now.
Adam Carolla
Oh, that's right. Also doordashed, right? I should have fucking done that with hash browns.
Zhao Ying Summers
He's not smart.
Adam Carolla
Uber eat it.
Jason 'Mayhem' Miller
Uber eat it.
Zhao Ying Summers
Too malleable.
Adam Carolla
It's like, is there a fucking Waffle House anywhere around here?
Zhao Ying Summers
Uber eats it.
Adam Carolla
Go give me some hash Browns.
Zhao Ying Summers
DoorDash at 2. See which one's faster. Doordash did not arrive. So next day they gave me a plan B. But anyway, so it turns out he called me back and he just wanted to Date me. And then I got to know him. And now he's. He loved my children. They call him dad. And then now he's gonna marry me because I picked the ring already. I know he has a ring. I don't know what he's asking me, but I trapped him. He's a cowboy. He's a so romantic Texas boy from Cleveland, Ohio. Texas. He's very.
Adam Carolla
That's right.
Zhao Ying Summers
Yeah. Anyways, so I got myself a man now.
Adam Carolla
Good. Good for you.
Zhao Ying Summers
I talk about him. First time here, I wasn't hopeful. And you told me that to have hope. Maybe it will work out. It did work out.
Adam Carolla
Good, good, good. I mean, the story is not over yet.
Zhao Ying Summers
Yeah. As long as I don't do anything crazy, I think it will be fine.
Adam Carolla
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Adam Carolla
We have the hash browns on my mind.
Zhao Ying Summers
The song Hash Brown on my mind.
Dawson
Can we.
Adam Carolla
Can we. Is there music we can play or just the lyrics?
Zhao Ying Summers
Can we listen? Can you sing it?
Dawson
This is AI to add music, to put. I will produce it tonight.
Adam Carolla
Okay.
Dawson
But it's. It's pretty genius.
Adam Carolla
I mean, I just knocked this out.
Dawson
Just knocked this out in less than a second. Less than a second.
Adam Carolla
Less than a second.
Dawson
Less than a second.
Adam Carolla
All right, we'll see if it's better or worse than Steve Miller's Abracadabra. Okay. You got it?
Dawson
Yeah, I just can't see it from this angle. There we go. Here we go. Verse 1. I left my boots in Anchorage Took a southbound plane Chasing crispy golden shreds to ease a wanderer's pain Landed in old Boston where the harbor wind blows cold but the plate they set before me, Lord, it ruined my soul Cause they served me little barrels like a school lunch after thought I said ma', am, I asked for hash browns she said honey, those are tots.
Adam Carolla
Wow, this is good.
Dawson
I want hash browns, the real kind Flat and sizzling on the grill Greasy peace of mind Not a puck, not a patty, not a totten disguise Just those diner style shreds that bring tears to my eyes. I've been a drifter, a rambler but one thing I can't find Is a plate of proper hash browns and it's weighing on my mind.
Adam Carolla
Wow, that's less than a second.
Zhao Ying Summers
That's beautiful.
Adam Carolla
Listen, it's better than most Eagle songs. Now the thing that's weird and we should. Dawson, you should. We'll figure it. Remember Richard Marks was explaining to me that there are Eagles songs I like. And I said, yeah, there are Eagles songs I like like, I like New Kid in Town, but why do I like that song? When Don Henley, what's his name, writes super shitt songs all day because of JD's other sound, it's another guy, right? So it's always somebody else who wrote if there's three songs, if there's any Rod Stewart songs you ever like, he never wrote them because he writes shit songs. You see, like that's, but jd, I'm curious what, what. We should find out what he wrote. But anyway, what music do you listen to?
Zhao Ying Summers
I like old, I like the Beatles. I like Barbara Streisand, I love Janice Joplin. I like it. I, I don't, I, I, I, I do not dislike a Taylor Swift. I don't relate to her music. It's just about. I'm a tall, white, beautiful white girl with legs for days. I got dumped. I want, like, I'm a dog, nobody want me. I OD'd in the hotel room while my boyfriend cheating on me. I really to like Janice Joplin kind of struggle. I don't get Taylor Swift. I don't cry. I don't feel bad for her when she got dumped because she has dicks lined up for her.
Adam Carolla
There's a line of dicks going around the world.
Zhao Ying Summers
It's option for her. Yeah. I just don't feel bad. You feel you cry for two days, right? You got all the money, you look beautiful, you got everything. I just, I don't, I don't relate to it. Not because she's not good. I just don't relate to any of her music. Yeah, I like like ugly people with Thailand Scream. They're like Amy Winehouse. I want people die for their music. I want them to be so tortured that their art is good.
Adam Carolla
You know? There was a Chinese singing group that was popular. I'm looking at you, Andrew. Pink lady was Pink Lady. Were they Chinese?
Zhao Ying Summers
Pink Lady.
Adam Carolla
Have you ever heard of Pink Lady?
Zhao Ying Summers
They probably have their name in Chinese. That's. They always translate in different things from the 70s.
Adam Carolla
And they were super hot Chinese singing duo.
Zhao Ying Summers
They were Japanese. Huh?
Adam Carolla
Are they Japanese?
Zhao Ying Summers
Pingu.
Adam Carolla
Ah, damn. Pink Lady's not Chinese. They're Japanese.
Zhao Ying Summers
Ooh, beautiful.
Adam Carolla
They couldn't speak any English.
Zhao Ying Summers
Nice.
Adam Carolla
And some coked up network executive in 1975 said this pink lady, these guys, this is a hot band. And they went, yeah. And Jeff Altman, the comedian who would go on Letterman and not be funny and talk about big beefy butt sticks or whatever. Yeah, that guy's not funny. Yeah. Okay, here's my coke fueled idea. Let's take these two unfunny chicks who don't speak English and put them with an unfunny stand up comedian and we'll make a variety show called Pink lady and Jeff.
Zhao Ying Summers
Oh my God.
Adam Carolla
And then we'll make the worst, most confusing shitty show. And they said, okay, let's do it. And in 1980 or 79 or whatever it was, Pink lady and Jeff came out. Oh, and it's Jeff Altman, the comedian who must have pictures of Letterman being pegged from behind or something because he would always show up on Letterman and he'd go, Dave a big beebe butt snake Beebee. And Letterman would laugh and laugh and laugh. And then everyone else would go, what's going on? This isn't funny. And then he'd come back a year later and be Big BB Butt Stick. Pink Lady. Sherman hensley, donny osmond, everyone did copy. Larry heikman, chief trick, red button. Hugh hefner and his playmate, florence henderson. Boomer. All people did was coke.
Zhao Ying Summers
Oh God, oh my God.
Adam Carolla
Jerry lewis. Oh God, is this the craziest, shittiest show ever made? And, and Pink lady didn't speak any English and Altman wasn't funny, so what?
Dawson
Tonight, ladies and gentlemen, you're about to see the American TV debut of Japan's biggest recording stars, Pink Lady. Now when I say big, you're probably saying, well wait, what's he talking about?
Adam Carolla
Hey, hang on. Trust me for a second.
Dawson
Just take a look at this film clip of one of their recent concerts in Japan.
Adam Carolla
They sold out a stadium, so they're.
Zhao Ying Summers
Like original black Pink. Like the J. J Pop before the K Pop.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, just as J Pop, right?
Zhao Ying Summers
Yes, that's the J Pop Demon hunters.
Dawson
Well, I wish I had the tempura concession on that. Well, I think you can see that.
Adam Carolla
Why I wanted to do a show with them.
Dawson
The girls are really special and they've decided tonight to open the show on. Pause it.
Zhao Ying Summers
Oh my God.
Adam Carolla
Jeff Alvin had no fucking idea who Pink lady was before some coked up executive at abc. When you're doing a show with these two bitches, he didn't discover them or think how much he needs to work with Pink. They don't speak English. As a, as a comedian you want, your partner should speak English. Yeah, that's one of my things. Like that's my. On my rider when it goes. Who do you want opening or featuring for you. When you do stand up, I go, I don't care. But they have to speak English because my crowd's an English speaking crowd.
Zhao Ying Summers
Yeah, I have.
Adam Carolla
Your English is barely good enough to be opening for me, but it's good enough.
Zhao Ying Summers
I try. I just. I have a theory for you. It was not gonna be popular, but it's the truth. Do you know why the Korean K pop guys look like little boys? No little boys. It's because a Japanese man who was born, grew up in San Francisco, he's a very rich, He's a pedophile. He loves the young little boys. He went back to Japan. He's the founding father of Japanese pop. So he started to get those pretty little boys take those things. So they maintain. 14 years old and he raped all of them. But because Japanese culture is the hierarchy, they don't. Even though they were raped, they don't. They thank him for making them famous. And then it influenced all Asia's beauty standard on men. Even you see, Asian men now, the K pop guys, they all look white skinned, skinny little girls. Because this one single Japanese American pedophile shaped the beauty standard of Asian men.
Adam Carolla
I want to say this. While that was a horrific tale about Japanese man raping underage Korean boys. Still funnier than Jeff Altman's monologue.
Zhao Ying Summers
No, he's. He look like he's. He looks stupid. He just really looks stupid. Look at his eyes.
Adam Carolla
Go back. I gotta get that tempura joke in.
Zhao Ying Summers
One more tempura joke.
Dawson
He gets to use his tempura material, which he was still.
Adam Carolla
Alright, I'm sorry.
Zhao Ying Summers
Oh my God.
Adam Carolla
Well, I think you can see now why I wanted to do a show with him.
Dawson
The girls are really special and they've decided tonight to open the show with what I've been told is a traditional Japanese number. So. Well, I wish I had the tempura concession on that.
Zhao Ying Summers
What?
Dawson
Well, I think you can see now.
Adam Carolla
Why I wanted to do a show with them.
Dawson
The girls are really special and they wanted to do a show, open the show with what I've been told is a traditional Japanese number. So, ladies and gentlemen, please welcome me and K, the wonderful Pink Lady.
Adam Carolla
We're so high in Coke, there's nothing we could do.
Zhao Ying Summers
Oh, gosh.
Adam Carolla
Hold on. What do they say?
Zhao Ying Summers
I don't. I don't know. I don't understand Japanese.
Adam Carolla
Oh, you guys got a whole. We got different language.
Zhao Ying Summers
Yes, different language.
Adam Carolla
Oh, okay.
Zhao Ying Summers
Because they don't speak a word of English.
Adam Carolla
Just go ahead and play.
Zhao Ying Summers
Oh, dress. Thank you.
Adam Carolla
You both do speak English?
Zhao Ying Summers
Oh, yes.
Adam Carolla
We spend many, many hours in Japan landing.
Dawson
It's just two Japanese women and they're called Pink Lady. Your special is what specie are you?
Zhao Ying Summers
Yeah.
Dawson
Do you think they called themselves Pink lady because they're. Maybe they wanted to say ladies?
Zhao Ying Summers
I think because the premier. Premier in Asia is the pink pussy. I think because their pussy probably is pink. So they are like top shell pussy.
Adam Carolla
I got a different theory. I think that hat was CG Post. No, here's what I think. Tony, you know, the hottest group was Tony Orlando and Don. Don is two chicks. Wow. It's Tony. It's not Tony Orlando and Don's. It's Don. So back then they did a lot of stuff. You know, they do what black people do now. I go keep all my monies. You know what I mean? They pluralize when they shouldn't. And that's what Pink Lake. I just want to hear. I just want to hear one minute of Jeff Altman talking to speak perfect.
Zhao Ying Summers
English when we gotta hear.
Dawson
Oh, and you speak English too?
Zhao Ying Summers
Yes.
Dawson
Do you?
Adam Carolla
Yes. I thought so.
Zhao Ying Summers
Anyway.
Adam Carolla
Okay.
Dawson
What I mean is it's very, very difficult to learn to speak English properly.
Zhao Ying Summers
Keep trying. You'll get better.
Adam Carolla
All right. That's the entire show.
Zhao Ying Summers
Oh, my.
Adam Carolla
That's the entire fucking show.
Zhao Ying Summers
That's why they bombed the Pearl Harbor. That's because of Jeff Solomon.
Adam Carolla
Comedian saw the least funny. No, a coked up executive saw the least funny comedian working and put them together with two women who don't speak English and then said, we're doing a variety show. That guy from Green.
Dawson
They spent a lot of money.
Adam Carolla
Boom, let's do it. It's crazy, right?
Zhao Ying Summers
I. I don't. I don't know. He just has. Like. He's like this Jeff Almond. I don't know how he. He probably. He probably just like doing something for the executives.
Adam Carolla
What are Pink lady doing right now? Are they.
Zhao Ying Summers
What are Pink Ladies actually? Probably still alive. They are Asians, man.
Adam Carolla
Probably working as comfort women. Now.
Zhao Ying Summers
The comfort women are only the Chinese and Koreans. Chinese and Koreans. When Japanese made us the comfort women to serve their soldiers, they were raping everyone.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. If you were starting a band, though, you'd want to call it Comfort Woman. Yes, comfort woman.
Zhao Ying Summers
Right, comfort 80s.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Okay. The members of the Japanese band Pink lady, me and my solo career have been active in their solo careers, sometimes collaborating on new music like Boogie Wonderland and performing Pink lady hits.
Dawson
When they go out solo, do they call themselves Pink Ladies?
Adam Carolla
Yeah, they call themselves Pink Ladies. When they go out solo. What the hell? Never heard of Pink lady, huh?
Zhao Ying Summers
I never heard of them. I think Jeff Ottoman made them famous in America. I mean, during the 70s, in. After war, people lack entertainment. And the Japanese musicians are even popular in China and Korea.
Adam Carolla
Oh, yeah.
Zhao Ying Summers
Before we. You know, right after Cultural Revolution, we don't have any entertainment, so a lot of Chinese people are obsessed with Japanese movies, Japanese pop stars, a lot of Chinese.
Adam Carolla
If we called your mom, would she know who Pink lady was?
Zhao Ying Summers
She might know them.
Adam Carolla
Can we call her?
Zhao Ying Summers
I don't have my phone. Dawson took it. Yeah, we can call her.
Adam Carolla
Let's get. Let's call. Let's take Paige.
Zhao Ying Summers
Give me my phone.
Adam Carolla
What do you think?
Zhao Ying Summers
I think I'm gonna ask. What's your name in Chinese? My mom probably knows.
Adam Carolla
Does your mom.
Zhao Ying Summers
She's old.
Adam Carolla
Your mom knows Pink Lady?
Zhao Ying Summers
I think she wouldn't know.
Adam Carolla
She knows of Pink Lady.
Zhao Ying Summers
I'm pretty sure she knows. I'm gonna call her. Pink lady is so famous here.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. All right. So you say she knows?
Zhao Ying Summers
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Do you think she'll know the Billy Bob Thornton commercial?
Zhao Ying Summers
Huang Shu is. Yeah, they call it in China, call the Red. She didn't know the Billy Bob Thornton commercial, but she knows. Probably knows the Pink Lady. She probably.
Adam Carolla
All right. I think she doesn't know Pink Lady.
Zhao Ying Summers
They call the Red Ladies in Chinese.
Adam Carolla
They're called the Red Ladies because they don't have pink.
Zhao Ying Summers
Red color. We make everything red.
Adam Carolla
All right, give her a call.
Zhao Ying Summers
Okay?
Adam Carolla
Just call her. Put on speaker.
Zhao Ying Summers
Okay.
Adam Carolla
Kiss. They had a hit in the US Called Kiss in the Dark. I don't speak Chinese, but I know.
Zhao Ying Summers
When I'm being called a homo is a Red Lady.
Adam Carolla
Hold on.
Dawson
Is this really your mom?
Adam Carolla
How do we know?
Zhao Ying Summers
Okay, she said she didn't know Pink lady, but she knows whatever. Like, whatever. The Shanko Bai Hui, the Japanese singer.
Adam Carolla
She doesn't know Pink Lady. Ask her what's wrong with her. Ask her if she thinks Jeff Altman's fine.
Dawson
She despises him.
Adam Carolla
No. Big beefy butt steaks.
Zhao Ying Summers
She said means that in Chinese. Okay. It's not N word.
Adam Carolla
Okay, so. So she doesn't know the band Pink Lady. The Japanese band.
Zhao Ying Summers
She didn't know.
Adam Carolla
How old's your mom?
Zhao Ying Summers
She's 55.
Adam Carolla
Oh, she's. She's right. Pink Lady. Prime. She's prime pink.
Zhao Ying Summers
Bye. Bye, Mama.
Adam Carolla
Tell her thank you.
Zhao Ying Summers
Okay. She doesn't know. She's.
Adam Carolla
That's disappointing.
Zhao Ying Summers
They are pink. Red Lady. We call it not a Red Lady. I just checked.
Adam Carolla
Pink, Red Pink and Red in Chinese.
Zhao Ying Summers
Yes. Pink and Red Ladies.
Adam Carolla
You wouldn't call them Pink Lady?
Zhao Ying Summers
Well, no, we want to put the red in there because Chinese is communist red.
Adam Carolla
You wouldn't go like. But the band Steely Dan is called Steely Dan in Chinese. Right.
Zhao Ying Summers
We give different nicknames for American bands.
Adam Carolla
Oh, you do?
Zhao Ying Summers
Like, we call Taylor Swift Strawberry. We don't know why we call her Little Strawberry.
Adam Carolla
You don't call her Taylor Swift?
Zhao Ying Summers
No. We call her nicknames Mei Mei. It means Strawberry.
Adam Carolla
What would Michael Jackson be?
Zhao Ying Summers
Keep your son away from him. I don't know.
Adam Carolla
All right, so your mom doesn't know Pink Lady. That's disappointing. But I'm ready to move on. You want to hang out, do some news? We'll bring mayhem in here.
Zhao Ying Summers
Yeah, I miss him. He has a Japanese lady.
Adam Carolla
Oh, okay. Maybe dating one of the Pink Ladies. Pink Lady's going strong. Working, getting together once in a while doing solo projects. Nice. Who greenlit Pink? I mean, it was one of those, like, Brandon Tartikoffs or something.
Dawson
Couldn't have been Merv Griffin. I know that. He's got too much class.
Adam Carolla
That's too much class. Somebody from back in the day. All right, we'll take a break. We'll do the news right after this. Home Title Lock. Well, if you're a homeowner in America, you need to hear this. There's a new kind of real estate fraud going around. It's called title theft. The FBI has been warning about it for a while. And yet your home equity is the target. Here's how it works. Criminals forge your signature, use a fake notary, file one document with the county, and on paper, they now own your home. They can take out loans against the equity, even sell your property. And you don't find out until the notices start showing up in the mail. That's why I partnered with Home Title Lock. That's Home Title Lock. They can help protect your equity and tell you today. If you're already a victim, don't wait until it's too late. Am I right, Dawson?
Dawson
Use our promo code adam, @hometitlelock.com and you'll get a free title history report and a free trial of their million dollar triple lock protection. That's 247 monitoring of your title records, urgent alerts to any changes, and if fraud occurs, their US based restoration team will spend up to $1 million to fix it. Find out why we trust Home title lock. That's hometitlelock.com promo code, Adam.
Adam Carolla
DRA debt relief. All right, let's be honest. Credit card debt has gotten out of control. And if you owe 10 grand or more, credit cards, personal loans. This one's for you. The folks at Debt Relief Advocates are rolling out a new program to actually help people dig out. You could end up paying back only a fraction of what you owe. And no, this isn't a bankruptcy. It's not some shady consolidation loan. It's real debt relief. The kind credit card companies would rather you never found out about. They don't exactly love the idea of you finally getting free. So if you're drowning in debt, now's the time to take a look. Am I right?
Dawson
Dawson, head over to dra.com. that's dra.com. find out what kind of relief you qualify for and start turning things around. Today. Again. Dra.com. It's time to check Adam's voicemail.
Zhao Ying Summers
Foreign.
Adam Carolla
Mark from Oregon.
Dawson
I've got your new placard for your bathroom.
Adam Carolla
If the doors close shut, don't interrupt. If the doors open wide, don't break your stride. If the door is cracked a hair, Enter with care. Get it on.
Dawson
You can leave us a message at 888-634-1744.
Adam Carolla
Adopt those simple rules, everybody. Your life will be so much easier. We have no bathroom confusion here. In well over a decade, no one has ever walked in on somebody on the pot. No one has ever stood outside when the door was closed and knocked when no one was in there. And no one's ever walked into a huge shitstorm. Because we have rules. We follow the rules and it works.
Zhao Ying Summers
Yes. And we should bring back the hash browns.
Adam Carolla
We got another song. This one is about being trapped in a room and only being able to watch Pink lady and Jeff.
Zhao Ying Summers
Oh, no.
Jason 'Mayhem' Miller
Yeah, I was gonna tell you. I don't have a Japanese wife anymore. Oh, Jeff Altman stole her.
Adam Carolla
Really?
Zhao Ying Summers
Oh, wow. I'm sorry, sore spot.
Jason 'Mayhem' Miller
I appreciate you bringing her out.
Zhao Ying Summers
Hello Kitty become Goodbye Kitty.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, goodbye, temporal concession. I miss those days. All right, this is what the story is.
Dawson
I've been riding through Alaska? Where the map just turns to white? Playing for loggers? Lonely truckers in the cold November night? Haven't had real hash browns? And what feels like half a year? Just tater pucks and frozen tots from towns that disappear. I check into my motel room, the wind beating on the roof and the TV flickers. Only one show like some cosmic kind of spoof. Cause it's Pink lady and Jeff. Lord, I'm running out of breath. First no hash browns. Now Jeff Altman feels like fate is dealing death and those two pink ladies dance. It puts me in a trance because they look like my ex girlfriend did the night she left our last romance.
Zhao Ying Summers
Hey, I me Han, that's your life.
Adam Carolla
Hey, I wrote that song in three seconds.
Zhao Ying Summers
Wow.
Dawson
We actually had to take two because we wanted to hot tie in hash browns.
Zhao Ying Summers
That's a theme song for this episode.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, it totally is. All right, so, news, what do you got?
Jason 'Mayhem' Miller
Oh, you know what? First up, Bill Maher spars with Patton Oswalt over. Is hash browns better than. No, I'm just kidding. Is the Democrat, Pat's gone too far left.
Adam Carolla
Patton is. Well, yeah. Patton's lefty. Yeah.
Jason 'Mayhem' Miller
And we have a clip here of them sparring it up on Club Random Podcast.
Adam Carolla
Country is not as mature as it thinks it is. We elected Obama and clearly the country freaked out. We're still living in that freakout. We are not as progressed and evolved and intelligent as we think we are because we keep freaking out about this stuff. Well, you know, the left freak out too.
Dawson
The left freaked out about a lot of too.
Adam Carolla
What did they. What did they freak out about? Gender, race, parenthood, schools, Covid, homelessness, crime, the border, education. Like, we were not. We stopped being a scientific people. Like, it's not scientific. But the left certainly stayed scientific. No, they didn't. Why not? Because they think gender that they went.
Dawson
Way too far with.
Adam Carolla
That's not scientific. Yeah, it's tough for the. For the real. For the serious lefties out there because they got to deal with being wrong about everything, which is. Which is got to be tough because the problem. Here's. Here's the problem. Essentially, it's like you got into some club, right? And you're in that club for a million years. Like, let's just say Scientology. Yeah, like Scientology. Nah, let's say. Let's just say it was a club or even a biker gang. And you got your jacket and your colors and your leathers all. And you hung out with these guys and you rode with these guys.
Jason 'Mayhem' Miller
I ride with the Latter Day Saints.
Adam Carolla
And I went with the up to the Rock store every Sunday and everything was good for a long time. And you had, you know, this biker club. Well, what's it about? Well, it's about raising money for screwed up kids. You know, we'll do a ride for the orphan kids, and we always recycle our stuff. Yeah, we'll drink some beers, but we throw that beer into the blue can and we. We recycle. And you go, all right, well, this is the club I'm in. I hope my. I hope my son joins up when he. When he's old enough. And I've been in this club, and my dad was in the club before I got in the club. And then at some point, they're having a meeting, and they're like, now look, we recycle. Yep. And we raise money for the kids. Yep. Mm. And we got our campaign about hash browns. A hash brown awareness campaign.
Jason 'Mayhem' Miller
Standard.
Adam Carolla
Great. Loving all that. Love me some pink lady. And Jeff. Right. Oh, and by the way, a chick is a dude, and a dude is a chick, and a chick can be a dude, and a dude can be a chick, and you don't have to cut your cock off. And you can use whatever locker room you want. Okay? And then you go, what was that last part? You can have a beard and a cock and balls and walk in the ladies locker room and shake your dick around and do whatever the fuck you want. That's part of what we're.
Jason 'Mayhem' Miller
Well, how much eyeshadow does this bearded man have on?
Adam Carolla
None. He just says, you do. Now, here's the problem. A lot of guys don't want to get out of the gang. They still got the colors, they still got the jacket, and they've been riding with them for so long that they go, all right. Well, all right. So you're saying we're gonna raise money for the kids and awareness about hash browns, and then a dude can be a chicken, chick can be a dude, and there's 15 genders, and I gotta use your pronouns. Yeah. All right. But if we just kind of limit that, then I think I can still hang in the gang. And then they go, no, no, we gotta open the border. We want a wide open border, and we want to raise taxes on everybody to pay for a bunch of shit like guys getting transgendered surgery in prison. Let's say, if you're an illegal. And then they go, God damn it, I got this jacket, and it's got all the embroidery on it. And some of the people, like Bill Maher, go, I'm not sure if I want to keep riding with you guys, because this sounds nuts. And then the other half, who are rider dyers, have to make an ass of themselves trying to explain what the club's up to and somehow talk it away, but they can't because the club's getting crazier and crazier. Oh, and by the way, if something like Covid comes around, we gotta make sure and lock all the schools and lock in your home and it didn't come from a lab and Wuhan. It came from a pangolin wet market. So let's get all that straight. 2. And then a lot of people went, well, you're too fucking crazy for me to ride with you guys anymore. I gotta find another group to go ride with. And that's what Bill's doing. But there's still some rider dyers. And those people have to just sit there and look like idiots trying to explain all their horseshit. And that's the time we're living in.
Zhao Ying Summers
I'm so happy I bought a house in Austin.
Adam Carolla
Oh, smart.
Zhao Ying Summers
I'm gonna move there for the tax. And I can call my son retarded without getting kicked out because he is a little slow. My daughter is smart and she's a county. I don't want her to try to. Try to cut me out from her life when she turns 18. I need to control her continually so she can ensure her success.
Jason 'Mayhem' Miller
I'm just gonna try my luck with the Hell's Angels.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. All right. So your daughter, you can control.
Zhao Ying Summers
I want to, but she's. She's gonna outsmart me and use the California. I am. I'm my own person. My son. I need to discipline him. And I can't do it with the school. Now they have a partitan. I can't put a participation trophy. I can't pronounce it. It's. They don't deserve it. Nobody should have it. If you are a number one number, number two, you're number one loser. You don't deserve any trophy. You should know you are. You are not special. And I believe in my money. And if I'm doing my paying my due. I'm not paying anyone's surgery. I want get my boobs done first.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, yeah.
Zhao Ying Summers
Yes.
Adam Carolla
I would pay for those versus paying a transgender operation for a prison better.
Zhao Ying Summers
I just feel like if you want to transition is your right. You should sell your kidney to pay for the surgery because organs is expensive.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Jason 'Mayhem' Miller
Yeah.
Zhao Ying Summers
You can pay for it. I believe.
Jason 'Mayhem' Miller
Deductible.
Zhao Ying Summers
Yeah. I believe in people's rights, but I don't believe in me paying for anything. I'm cheap.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Zhao Ying Summers
Chinese person.
Adam Carolla
I. I concur.
Zhao Ying Summers
Yes. I. I change club. The only club I believe in is money club. Whatever is getting more money. That's where I go.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Zhao Ying Summers
Because if you don't. I don't know what to say.
Adam Carolla
You got it?
Zhao Ying Summers
Yes.
Jason 'Mayhem' Miller
That's what wobble ty hole.
Adam Carolla
All right. What do you got? Sorry.
Jason 'Mayhem' Miller
Hey, next up, the House Republicans said to Vote nearly unanimously for the release of the Epstein files. The day is here.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, there is a thing, you know, you can kind of get to the truth. You can get to the truth if you just sort of reverse engineer things sometimes, which is there's a lot of talk about what do they got on Trump. What do they got, you know, what's in that Epstein file on Trump? Well, the Democrats were in charge for the last four years, and they didn't drop anything. So if they had something on Trump, they surely would have dropped it because they were doing everything they could do to disqualify him from running. So it makes sense that if there's something in that file and they had the file and they were in charge of whether it was dropped or not, we would know it by now. Yeah, that's what I.
Jason 'Mayhem' Miller
Well, you're discounting the fact that there may be new evidence gathered recently that would, you know, implicate.
Adam Carolla
There may. You know, listen, I don't claim to know anything other than it doesn't logically make sense that they had the file for.
Jason 'Mayhem' Miller
They would have dropped in 100%.
Adam Carolla
If there was a couple pages in there or a couple pictures in there that made Trump look bad, we would know about it by now. But I don't know. Something new. I don't know. Yeah.
Jason 'Mayhem' Miller
Yeah, that's true. Yeah. And they're gonna release. I mean, they're expected to release it. Once a measure is passed in the House Senate, Republicans will have to vote on it. So there's some steps here. And then there's already reportedly enough support for it there, and Trump is expected to sign it if it passes.
Zhao Ying Summers
I expected a little suicide after that.
Adam Carolla
Hey, we don't. I don't know that we. Your culture has dignity, and so they commit suicide.
Zhao Ying Summers
Yes. They kill themselves.
Adam Carolla
You can't shame our culture. We don't kill ourselves. We should, but we don't.
Zhao Ying Summers
They just make a deal and just keep going.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Our only group that we have that really kill themselves are like school shooters.
Zhao Ying Summers
Oh, yes.
Adam Carolla
They kill themselves, but the rest of us, we don't kill ourselves. We should. Some of us should.
Zhao Ying Summers
Yeah. I don't know why.
Jason 'Mayhem' Miller
There's a WASPy element in the culture where we're like, oh, God will not let me into heaven.
Zhao Ying Summers
Yeah. Is that why? It's because religion.
Jason 'Mayhem' Miller
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
Your version of Bill Cosby would have killed themselves.
Jason 'Mayhem' Miller
Yeah. Of shame. Yeah. Like here in America, ain't no shame.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. Bill Kim, or whatever, your version of Bill Cosby.
Jason 'Mayhem' Miller
Bill Cosby, I think it would be Lee.
Zhao Ying Summers
Yeah, he's the Billy. It would be offending him. That's hilarious.
Adam Carolla
What I'm saying is if there was some guy, was a beloved, beloved figure who was the father to all the Chinese, you know, China's dad and stuff. And then at some point all the roofy and rape shit came out, they'd fall on their sword.
Zhao Ying Summers
Yeah. They will kill themselves first and.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, we don't do that.
Zhao Ying Summers
That's interesting. This is interesting.
Adam Carolla
Now, Epstein may have done it, but I don't think so.
Zhao Ying Summers
Someone else did it to him. Someone else killed him.
Adam Carolla
I think that seems like it.
Zhao Ying Summers
Yeah. Anyway, maybe pink ladies went there and took him. Killed him. Pink ladies. Oh, my God.
Adam Carolla
All right, next up, billionaire MAGA donor.
Jason 'Mayhem' Miller
Bill Ackman share some dating advice for young men.
Zhao Ying Summers
No, I don't want to hear any dating events from billionaire.
Jason 'Mayhem' Miller
Well, neither did the Internet. He has been ruthlessly mocked. His statement is to walk up to a woman at a coffee shop and say, may I meet you?
Adam Carolla
May I meet you?
Jason 'Mayhem' Miller
May I meet you? Would that work on you? May I meet you?
Adam Carolla
What if I was a hot cowboy?
Zhao Ying Summers
Yes, I will meet you. I'll be like, yes, I will meet you. Yes. I mean, I know he's a billionaire.
Jason 'Mayhem' Miller
Can I just say it as a warning? I may meet you.
Adam Carolla
I. I spell meet M E A T. Let me say this. This is the reason why no advice is good advice for this. Because women have many different approaches in terms of the way they receive things. If there is a guy at your office, like a guy you work with, there's always a creepy guy at the office. And then there's always a cool guy at the office. And if the cool guy comes up and says gives you a compliment on your dress or whatever that is, then you're flattered and you take it as good. But if the creepy guy does it, you report him to hr.
Jason 'Mayhem' Miller
It's the HR Me.
Adam Carolla
Right, Right. So he gets into trouble.
Zhao Ying Summers
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
So what's the advice? Go up and compliment the receptionist on how she looks in her dress. Well, not if you're a creepy guy. That's bad. If you're George Clooney, then it's good.
Jason 'Mayhem' Miller
But if you stand a good far way away and go, may I meet you? Yeah, you might have a shot.
Zhao Ying Summers
It's a billionaire move. It's only reserved to billionaires.
Adam Carolla
So since I hear from many young men, they find it difficult to meet young women in a public setting. In other words, the online culture has destroyed the ability to spontaneously meet strangers. As such, I thought I would share a few words that I used in my youth to meet someone that I found compelling. I would ask, may I meet you? Before engaging further conversation. I almost never got a no. Well, it's a tough thing to say. I did. When I was at the bottom of my lady Dom, I was at a place like the Sagebrush Cantina and there were. There was a nice looking woman sitting at a table with her friend and there was an open chair. And I walked up and I said, mind if I join you? And she looked up at me and she said, why? And then I just kept walking. And that's when I realized not to try to talk to people that were.
Dawson
Good looking.
Adam Carolla
In an environment like that. That.
Zhao Ying Summers
But that she's flirting with you. She wants to.
Adam Carolla
You know what it is? Women, they smell the stink of failure.
Jason 'Mayhem' Miller
Pre improv class. Because you didn't. Yes. They had nothing.
Adam Carolla
You were like, my girlfriend jumped me. I had. I had to look in the stench of failure. Failure on me. And she was like, yes.
Zhao Ying Summers
The shark nose.
Adam Carolla
Right, the shark nose. One ounce. Just a drop of loser in a C drop a breakup.
Dawson
And then stop.
Adam Carolla
I was out. Like, I gotta get back on that horse. Boom. Shot down. Homes.com. well, some may say homes.com is the best home shopping site. It may be homes.com's super comprehensive or transparent agent directory. Or maybe it's@homes.com is the only site that always directly connects you with the listing agent who knows the home the best. Perhaps, just Perhaps, it's because homes.com has the most in depth neighborhood content of any home shopping site that's extensively researched to highlight the personality of each neighborhood. It's all of that and more. Homes.com they go above and beyond to bring home shoppers the in depth info they need to find the right home right away. I always check out homes.com why? Because I love them. Homes.com. that's homes.com. we've done your homework. This November action is free on Pluto tv. Go on the run with Jackson creature. Every suspect was a train killer.
Dawson
Then buckle up for drive.
Adam Carolla
World War Z. Every human being we save. Just one less fight and Charlie's Angels. Damn, I hate to fly. Launch into sci fi adventure with the fifth element and laugh through the mayhem in Tropic Thunder. What is going on here? All the thrills all for free. Pluto TV stream now pay never.
Jason 'Mayhem' Miller
But also your tactics were way off. Two girls having a meeting. No way. You got to pull up, saddle up next to somebody doing their homework there. Young Adam.
Adam Carolla
Yeah. It was tough. Let's see, what are we looking at?
Jason 'Mayhem' Miller
Bill Ackman's dating. Oh, this is some of the. They wrecked them online. Yeah. On Twitter. Doctor, are you sexually active? Me? I listen to Bill Ackman's dating advice. Doctor says a simple no would suffice.
Adam Carolla
Oh yeah, I don't know. Leave the guy alone.
Jason 'Mayhem' Miller
Just roasted him.
Adam Carolla
Just being quaint.
Jason 'Mayhem' Miller
Well, next up, Amy Schumer has erased any evidence she was ever plus sized from Instagram.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Jason 'Mayhem' Miller
Your thoughts.
Zhao Ying Summers
Just like, you know, you made your whole fortune and career and identity as the fat girl. Same with Lizzo. Lizzo, you know, Lizzo was fashioning other fat bitches. I just keep it on, you know, Like, I used to be fat and life told me that is my life is much better now. I lost weight. Just be honest. But they, they wanted to. I just think it's so stupid to have a double standard to like erase you of the identity before, yes, I, you know, I was ugly, but I'm gonna make sure people know I was ugly. That's why I'm cool now. Like, I'm not gonna erase my ugly photos when I was a little Chinese boy. It's fine. It's part of me. But you were fat and that made you who you are. And now she's very skinny now. She's literally a size four, I think. And she's also tall with nice legs. I think she's soon gonna get injection on her lips. She's gonna simply just be like, you know what? I no longer like, like my tiny baby bird cybernetic.
Dawson
Yeah.
Zhao Ying Summers
Yeah.
Jason 'Mayhem' Miller
She's gonna lost 30 pounds taking ozempic. Like that's the big deal.
Zhao Ying Summers
Just be honest. I don't know, like, you can't erase it.
Adam Carolla
Well, it's a weird, It's a weird thing, okay? Every woman wants to be thin and beautiful. Yes, they all do. And then the ones that say they don't are lying. And so what they tried to do is go, look, I'd like to be skinny, but I don't wanna fucking put down this ham sandwich. So what if I went on some sort of crusade to talk America into thinking that my fat ass was hot. And then we can get a bunch of corporate shills like Dove Soap and everyone on Madison Avenue to cave. Cuz we'll make it super popular to think that all shapes and all sizes are sexy. Look, here's the bottom line. And you don't need fuck. Whatever Dove Soap is telling you is sexy or whatever it is when you take the most eligible Bachelors in the world, when you take the guys who can date whoever they want. And maybe sometimes it's a friend of yours who just does really well with women. Or George Clooney. Has George Clooney ever dated a fat bitch? Answer no. His fucking girlfriend is skinny as a fucking rail because that's what they do. Now he'll give you a bunch of speeches about all shapes being wonderful and it's in the eye of the beholder and sexy women come in all different sizes. Why don't you date a fat bitch then, George? How come it's only fucking models? It's all fucking skinny chicks, that's all. And by the way, the hottest, most eligible dudes, whoever they are. The last hundred years of Hollywood. Anybody? Now, once in a blue moon, a Hugh Jackman shows up, but his wife was a skinny bitch and then she gets to be big and he's been married for 28 years, and then some point he moves on, Right? Okay, that's it. So the standard is not what Dove soap tells you or what Madison Avenue tells you or what Lizzo tells you. The standard is the guys who get to fuck whoever they want. Who do they fuck? And if the answer is skinny tall chicks, then that's what we're into.
Jason 'Mayhem' Miller
I like a good torta from time to time.
Adam Carolla
You like a torta? Yeah.
Jason 'Mayhem' Miller
Okay.
Zhao Ying Summers
How was the Japanese chick?
Jason 'Mayhem' Miller
Oh, yeah, she's great. What do you mean?
Zhao Ying Summers
She's. She's. She's skinny.
Adam Carolla
Oh, you're not dating.
Zhao Ying Summers
She's gone. Yeah, she's. She'd betrayed you. I. I think. I don't. I think a lot of times, like men. Men is always shameless. A man would hit on a girl who is other league. But the problem is dating apps has made women delusional. Because on dating apps, you are a ugly and you get swept by really hot guys. He just wants to fuck you. He's not a match for you. But they think he likes the way I look. He likes I am 200 pounds overweight.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Zhao Ying Summers
No, he just want to do a quick, quick, quick drop.
Adam Carolla
We do this thing where it's like fat chicks are hot and poor people are noble, but the second you can make a buck or take a shot to get skinny and then get rich, everyone jumps on it immediately. So.
Jason 'Mayhem' Miller
Well, we're in the early days of this. This weight loss drug is kind of magical. People are like completely changing themselves. And I get it. I totally. If you can use some type of substance to help you, there's no USADA testing you you're not cheating in the Olympics. Hell, Amy Schumer can erase every damn.
Adam Carolla
Psychological thing going on. Mayhem. You can't spell USADA without you.
Zhao Ying Summers
Yes.
Adam Carolla
Understand? You know, you're weak. You don't have what it takes.
Jason 'Mayhem' Miller
You know, it's true. I agree with you that you should do this thing natural. But, hey, everyone's gonna use a cheat code.
Zhao Ying Summers
Erasing. Erasing all of the past photos is just crazy. Her tracks are too big to cover.
Adam Carolla
By the way, she's been in 11 movies where she was a fat ass. What's she gonna do?
Zhao Ying Summers
Yeah, she's gonna tell them she's wearing a fat suit.
Jason 'Mayhem' Miller
She's like, she just wants to put her best fat forward, and next thing.
Zhao Ying Summers
You know, she's gonna get the nose done and get a lip injection. It's just gonna. It's.
Jason 'Mayhem' Miller
If she's gonna be the ultimate Newport beach wife.
Zhao Ying Summers
Yeah, she's gonna be. Yeah.
Adam Carolla
It's so funny. Like, no matter how rich, how successful, how anything, they trade it all in to be a hottie.
Jason 'Mayhem' Miller
Yeah.
Zhao Ying Summers
They end up looking like Baseball Wilson.
Adam Carolla
Yeah.
Zhao Ying Summers
Yeah. She lost weight.
Jason 'Mayhem' Miller
Yeah.
Zhao Ying Summers
And she lost her career, too. I think she did.
Jason 'Mayhem' Miller
I think so. Yeah.
Zhao Ying Summers
Yes.
Jason 'Mayhem' Miller
Because she was known as this whimsical, chubby chick, and now she's want to be a.
Zhao Ying Summers
Because she had a pretty face. She's just like a hot Adele.
Jason 'Mayhem' Miller
Yeah. And then what happened? And now she's very skinny, and she did one movie. I don't know if.
Zhao Ying Summers
I don't know. You just. You cannot become Margot Robbins.
Jason 'Mayhem' Miller
You just suddenly spoke perfectly crisp English.
Zhao Ying Summers
I don't know. I will become.
Jason 'Mayhem' Miller
Back to your roots and talk.
Zhao Ying Summers
I'll become a Hanoi Henna. GI Surrender your country lying to you. They give you money when you die.
Jason 'Mayhem' Miller
Oh, here we go.
Adam Carolla
Before and after. Do a little side by side.
Jason 'Mayhem' Miller
I like that. Yeah.
Zhao Ying Summers
Gi you have blue eye. Your country. Punch you on the face. Don't care about you. You. You teach English in our school.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, I'll be for free.
Jason 'Mayhem' Miller
That needs to be a GTA 6.
Adam Carolla
So I'm just. Me and Mayhem are a couple of GIs, and we're just in. We're in the country.
Jason 'Mayhem' Miller
It's been raining 40 days.
Adam Carolla
It's raining. And we're just sitting in our. We got our ponchos on. Can't find any hash browns. No hash browns.
Jason 'Mayhem' Miller
Hey, they play the Eagles on this radio station. You want to check them out?
Adam Carolla
Yeah, okay. All right.
Jason 'Mayhem' Miller
All right. Oh, no, they're at Ad Break or something.
Adam Carolla
Turn the radio on.
Zhao Ying Summers
Yeah. GI Gi. I am Hanoi Hana. You country has. Has abandoned you. They don't give a about you. You can come to our restaurant, we can put our egg roll in your asshole. They don't want anything to do with you. Your mom, your wife already move on. He's like big black now. Your wife. You don't know who your son is. Nobody want you.
Adam Carolla
Hold on.
Jason 'Mayhem' Miller
Hey, Ace Fuck Nixon.
Adam Carolla
I'm getting depressed. I came over here, I thought this was a worthy endeavor. That's a big word for a 19 year old living the in Vietnam. But I signed up for. This is my second tour, bro. But this Hanoi Hannah.
Jason 'Mayhem' Miller
Hey, get back to digging that foxhole, Corolla.
Adam Carolla
Oh man, I'm getting depressed. Turn that radio up again.
Zhao Ying Summers
You are crispy. Crispy sexy Vietnam hotties. We come here, suck your car, give you a massage at the same time. You drink. You drink here hero. You don't go America. They. They already. They give you money. The good stuff when you already died. You. You don't go to. You already go to hell. Stay here, it's cheaper. Oh, your mom already move on your wife.
Jason 'Mayhem' Miller
Now I'm feeling kind of depressed. We should change the station.
Adam Carolla
I don't know. It's about all. It's the only one that'll play. It's all John Fogarty. That's all. That's all of her. Freebird. That didn't come out for another year and a half. I'm listening to all Fogarty. You're living in the future with Freebird. What year do you think Freebird was? Like 75. 75.
Zhao Ying Summers
This.
Adam Carolla
This thing only went. We had this wrapped up in 74, bud. Freebird came out a year after the war ended. So I don't know what you're listening to. I'm listening to Fogarty. Creedence.
Dawson
November is 74.
Adam Carolla
November 74. End of 74. Name ended in 74. But when maybe got in under the. You were in the. You were in the rear with the gear listening to Fogarty. Wait a. Turn that radio up again. I want to hear what this has to say.
Zhao Ying Summers
GI gi. You don't understand. You can't give your money when you die. Vietnam cannot be with. We don't us. We you back Paris France try to us. We took their Baghdad. We them in the China tried to with us. We don't let them with us. America is. Is going to done. America is done. You stay here, you teach English for free. You got free blow job. Free. Fear bound me. Savage. You bound me. I bound you.
Adam Carolla
Oh man. I. It says Free Bird came out in 73. Yeah, you got that painted black tape.
Dawson
As released as a single on in 74 for some reason.
Adam Carolla
Oh, okay. And Vietnam is over in 74, right?
Dawson
Yeah.
Adam Carolla
So I'm in there.
Jason 'Mayhem' Miller
Bangkok Betty, with the playing that song.
Adam Carolla
We. Well, I mean, we were all pretty pulled out by like, 72, 73.
Jason 'Mayhem' Miller
Sorry, man. My history is off.
Adam Carolla
No, no, you was pretty. Technically, Freebird was out during Vietnam.
Dawson
Wait a second, man.
Adam Carolla
What?
Dawson
Vietnam war officially ended April 30, 1975.
Jason 'Mayhem' Miller
Yeah, but there's some skirmishes.
Adam Carolla
All right, well, maybe we were turn up Free Bird. Let's see. Let's hear a little Free Bird. Come on.
Jason 'Mayhem' Miller
Oh, yeah, here she is again.
Zhao Ying Summers
You know the song Free Bird. If you want your bird, you feel free. Do you want your bird to be free? Your ball's no longer blue. You're surrounded now, GI GI Surrounded your country do not give a about you. Uncle Sam has been bought and paid many, many times. You stand, stay here. We give you good life. You stay here. Ban me, I bang you. You go to Bangkok. We Bangkok together.
Jason 'Mayhem' Miller
I'm thinking of voting Democrat.
Adam Carolla
Yeah, me too. All right, Jelly, you gotta get on a phone call. So. So I am told. Maybe it's your mom calling. Maybe she remembers Pink Lady.
Zhao Ying Summers
I hope so.
Adam Carolla
I don't know.
Zhao Ying Summers
Yeah, I hope my mom is speaking.
Dawson
I'll call her.
Zhao Ying Summers
I'm gonna take the call. I have to take you. If I don't want to take it, she'll kill me.
Adam Carolla
What specie are you? Is the name of the special Hulu and Disney live shows all over the place, man. Wow. Where should we go to find all your live shows?
Zhao Ying Summers
Zhao yingcomedy.com Zhao yingcomedy.com I'm coming all over the world.
Adam Carolla
Mm. All right. Go check out xiaoying Summers. Mayhem, December 6th. Thunder Studios got two guys fighting and me, Texas. This Thursday, Fort Worth, Texas. Gonna be at Hyenas and doing stand up there a couple of shows. And then Friday, Woodlands, Texas, Do Si Dope, Big Barn. And then Walnut Springs, Texas. Go to AdamCroll.com for all the live shows. Until next time, Samcroll from Jelly Ying and Mayhem saying mahalo.
Dawson
Pick up your phone and leave us a voicemail at 888-634-1744 and get tickets to see the Ace man at AdamCorell.com come.
Adam Carolla
This November, action is free on Pluto tv. Go on the run with Jack Reacher. Every suspect was a train killer. Then buckle up for drive World War Z. Every human being we save just One Less Fight and Charlie's Angels. Damn, I hate to fly. Launch it A Sci fi adventure with the Fifth Element and laugh through the mayhem in Tropic Thunder. What is going on here? All the thrills, all for free. Pluto TV stream now pay never.
Zhao Ying Summers
With stays under $250 a night, VRBO makes it easy to celebrate sweater weather. You could book a cabin, stay with leaf views for days, or a brownstone in a city where festivals are just a walk away. Or a lakeside home with a fire pit for cozy nights with friends. Or if you're not a sweater person, we can call it Corduroy Weather. More flexible and with stays under $250 a night, you can book a home that suits your exact needs. Book now@vrbo.com get that Amex Gold Card ready.
Adam Carolla
I'm too tired to cook. We feelin Five Guys or the Cheesecake Factory?
Zhao Ying Summers
Both earn up to $120 a year in statement credits of participating partners up to $10 each month when you pay with the AMEX Gold Card. Learn more@american express.com Explore Gold enrollment required terms apply.
Dawson
This November. Action is free on Pluto TV.
Adam Carolla
Go on the run with Jack Reacher Every suspect was a train killer Then buckle up for Drive World War Z Every human being we save Just one less fight and Charlie's Angels. Damn, I hate to fly. Launch into Sci Fi adventure with the Fifth Element and laugh through the mayhem in Tropic Thunder. What is going on here? All the thrills, all for free. Pluto TV Stream Now Pay Never.
Episode Date: November 18, 2025
Guest: Jiaoying Summers
News with: Jason "Mayhem" Miller
This raucous and wide-ranging episode of The Adam Carolla Show features comedian Jiaoying Summers, blending her sharp wit with Adam’s irreverent humor. The episode weaves through topics like cultural stereotypes, TV commercial oddities, pop culture history, government handouts, dating dynamics, one-night stands, and critiques on societal trends. Alongside Adam's signature rants, there’s lively banter about hash browns, commercial wardrobe fails, and the baffling legacy of Japanese pop phenom "Pink Lady." The "news" segment with Mayhem Miller brings in current events, generating even more unsparing commentary.
Jiaoying opens with her comedic bit about "What Species Are You?"
On leveraging identity for benefits:
Jiaoying discusses her streaming success:
Adam’s peculiar hobby:
Deep dive into the Billy Bob Thornton T-Mobile commercials:
Adam launches into an epic hash brown lament:
Impulsive song creation:
“I want hash browns, the real kind, flat and sizzling on the grill... just those diner style shreds that bring tears to my eyes.” (50:14)
Bill Maher vs. Patton Oswalt:
Epstein Files:
Bill Ackman’s ‘May I Meet You’ Dating Advice
Amy Schumer & Body Positivity:
| Time | Speaker | Quote | |----------|-----------------------|-------| | 04:25 | Adam Carolla | “Let me tell you my take on the Native Americans. Yeah, they’re like Paprika, the spice—a little bit is good, but you can’t dump the whole thing in.” | | 08:18 | Adam Carolla | “Sitting home waiting for a check fucks people up. Well, it fucks up bears and it fucks up people, and it fucks up all... God’s creatures.” | | 17:03 | Adam Carolla | “It’s a CGI hat, Dawson. It’s a CGI hat.” | | 18:01 | Adam Carolla | “When you insist that somebody put a hat on you, it’s called a behat.” | | 30:07 | Jiaoying Summers | “It’s even more embarrassing. He gets to commit to the lesbian hair. Just be like, I support a trans community.” | | 37:56 | Jiaoying Summers | “What did the hash brown do? Because the name—brown?” | | 53:03 | Adam Carolla | “Let’s take these two unfunny chicks who don’t speak English and put them with an unfunny stand-up comedian and we’ll make a variety show called Pink Lady and Jeff.” | | 58:07 | Adam Carolla | “While that was a horrific tale—still funnier than Jeff Altman’s monologue.” | | 66:59 | Jiaoying Summers | “[What would Michael Jackson be called?]—Keep your son away from him. I don’t know.” |
Adam Carolla’s show is raw, direct, and often caustically funny. Jiaoying Summers matches the irreverence with her razor-sharp deadpan and cross-cultural insights. Expect banter, playful tension, and boundary-pushing humor throughout.