Jimmy Kimmel + Haley Joel Osment (Carolla Classics)

Summary

Adam Carolla Show – "Jimmy Kimmel + Haley Joel Osment" (Carolla Classics)

Date: February 28, 2026
Guests: Jimmy Kimmel, Haley Joel Osment
Co-Hosts: Gina Grad, Brian Bishop
Format: Carolla Classics Edition – Compiled Highlights from Past Episodes

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Episode Overview

This "Carolla Classics" episode brings together stand-out moments from two highly popular Adam Carolla Show episodes featuring Jimmy Kimmel and Haley Joel Osment. Blending the classic irreverent humor, candid anecdotes, pop culture riffs, and some surprisingly thoughtful observations, Adam and his guests cover everything from celebrity run-ins and parenthood to the evolution of virtue signaling, childhood memories, notorious criminals, and the most awkward product innovations.

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Key Segments & Insights

1. Carolla Gets Bumped for Lady Gaga on Kimmel's Show

• Timestamp: [00:58]–[07:17]
• Adam talks about preparing to be the lead guest on Jimmy Kimmel Live—until suddenly, he’s "bumped." After some confusion, he finds out he’s merely moved to the second slot because Lady Gaga is now the show’s opening guest.
• Quote:
  "I thought I was bumped. And then Mike said, not off the show, just from the first slot. And then he said, Lady Gaga is gonna be the first guest." — Adam ([03:08])
• Adam riffs on the absurdities of showbiz and managing his daughter's hopes for a backstage celebrity encounter.

2. Rant: Virtue Signaling & ‘Hero’ Labels

• Timestamp: [12:08]–[20:22]
• The team riffs on "driver rescues dogs" bumper stickers and how basic decency has become showmanship. Adam traces the origins of this trend to "pound puppies" and the emergence of “I Voted” stickers.
• Quotes:
  "Nobody would ever call themselves a rescuer... who just went and got a free dog in the past." — Adam ([17:27])
  "If everybody proclaims they’re a hero simultaneously, there are no heroes." — Adam ([13:50])
• Haley Joel Osment reads from Adam's book, skewering self-congratulatory dog owners.
• The team explores nostalgia for simpler days where acts of decency didn’t need an audience.

3. Unfiltered Observations on Support Animals & Airport Outrage

• Timestamp: [20:48]–[26:39]
• The show debates the rise of emotional support animals, touching on a recent incident of a pit bull mauling a child at Portland’s airport.
• Adam lampoons the lack of boundaries and calls out the need for better regulation.
• Quote:
  "This presumes that people will do the right thing if you just sort of use your honor code... sadly, that's where we’re living." — Adam ([24:01])

4. Changing Times: Movie Screenings, Streaming, and Disrupted Distribution

• Timestamp: [10:19]–[11:58]; [33:10]–[35:28]
• Adam discusses his Not Taco Bell Material screenings and how the movie business is transformed by audience demand and direct release, rather than relying on distributors.
• Quote:
  "There was no shot it would get into a theater because it had to be bought by distributor… now you can put your movies in theater." — Adam ([09:07]))

5. Goat Cheese Bagels: San Francisco’s Impact on Culinary Tradition

• Timestamp: [27:24]–[31:20]
• A mocking deep-dive into the proliferation of “goat cheese and lox” bagels. Adam and Gina, leveraging Jewish heritage, call it an “abomination.”
• Quote:
  "Everything bagels. A nothing bagel... If you swap out cream cheese for goat cheese, now we have an issue." — Adam ([29:54])

6. Childhood, Education, and Making Memories vs. Making Grades

• Timestamp: [04:38]–[07:17]
• Adam reflects on the lack of memorable school moments compared to special outings or rare experiences with his kids.

7. Hollywood: Authenticity in True Crime Films

• Timestamp: [47:47]–[50:46]; [63:12]–[71:41]
• Discussion of upcoming Ted Bundy projects (with Zac Efron), including scrutiny of Hollywood’s glamorization of killers. The team laments when movies cast actors far more attractive than the real figures.
• Haley Joel Osment reflects on the real Bundy vs. Hollywood.
• Quote:
  "Ted Bundy was a good looking guy indeed, but he wasn’t Jacked… Do we need the scene where Zac Efron's taking his shirt off?" — Adam ([48:39])

8. Transition from Child Star—Haley Joel Osment’s Perspective

• Timestamp: [83:29]–[85:25]
• Osment, an oft-referenced “miraculously normal” child star, shares stories about moving from "the Sixth Sense" to adulthood, and how the industry now encourages TV and movie crossover for actors.
• Quote:
  "When I was in high school, there was still that kind of divide... but now it's just wide open with streaming.” — Haley Joel Osment ([84:48])

9. Pop Culture: Notorious Michael Jackson Episode Cut from The Simpsons

• Timestamp: [193:13]–[194:43]
• The show debates the modern tendency to scrub controversial content retroactively and the futility of trying to erase culture.
• Quote:
  "Soon we’ll... need to purge it from our brains… the only way to do it is full lobotomies." — Adam ([194:30])

10. Unprepared with Jimmy Kimmel at the Petersen Live Show

• Timestamp: [121:19]–[166:22]
• A live segment with Kimmel featuring the "Adam Carolla’s Unprepared” improv ping-pong ball routine. The duo riffs on audience-submitted words like “pug,” “Tesla,” and “Hawaii,” leading to riffs about dog anatomy, marital arguments, and kid’s vacations.
• Notable Moments:
  • Adam’s infamous “fart in a coffee can” story at [134:11]
  • Kimmel’s reflections on Adam’s tenacity and the unlikely journey from radio to podcasting
  • Gags about podcaster vs. traditional TV doctor status ([124:19])
  • “Unfiltered” Trump impersonator chaos courtesy of Kyle Dunnigan

11. Kyle Dunnigan as Trump and Bill Maher: Roasting & Parody

• Timestamp: [171:26]–[176:34]
• Dunnigan’s spot-on Bill Maher and Donald Trump impersonations spark a meta roast of Adam’s stand-up, Trump’s “gut-based” science, and the existential threat of robots.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Canceled Plans:
  "Canceled plans are like heroin." — Gina Grad ([02:02])
• On Childhood Experiences:
  "Going to Kimmel and going to the Long Beach Grand Prix… these are things that will be seared in one's memory." — Adam ([05:34])
• On Virtue Signaling:
  "You didn't go into a burning warehouse… you went to the pound because you were too cheap to go to the mall." — Haley Joel Osment ([18:07], reading Adam’s book)
• On the State of Modern Etiquette:
  "If someone could figure out that date [the onset of virtue signaling], that's about the time we started jumping the shark." — Adam ([16:08])
• On Women’s Stories of Marital Tenacity:
  "Grandpa followed her out to the mule… it’s like, now you’re a sexual predator. It's like all those stories…" — Adam ([162:50])

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Timestamps & Segment Guide (Selected Highlights)

| Timestamp | Segment/Topic | |------------|----------------------------------------------------------------------| | [00:58] | Bumped for Lady Gaga / Talk Show Inside Scoop | | [12:08] | Virtue signaling, "rescuing" dogs, pound puppies | | [20:48] | Emotional support pitbull story, airport outrage | | [27:24] | Goat cheese bagel rant | | [47:47] | Movie deaths, authentic details, Efron as Bundy | | [83:29] | Haley Joel Osment on growing up in Hollywood | | [121:19] | Jimmy Kimmel Petersen Museum live segment | | [134:11] | Epic Kimmel/Carolla fart-in-coffee-can story | | [171:26] | Kyle Dunnigan’s Bill Maher/Trump Parodies | | [193:13] | Simpsons’ “Stark Raving Dad” episode removed – cultural erasure |

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Tone & Style

• Trademark Carolla: irreverent, unscripted, self-deprecating, and full of comedic digressions.
• Blend of satire (virtue signaling, pet culture), nostalgia (pound puppies, schooldays), and biting social commentary (celebrity publicists for the dead, Kimmel’s honorary doctorate).
• Rapid back-and-forth with guests and live audience; lots of “inside” references but punctuated with accessible, relatable riffs.

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For New Listeners

This episode is an excellent snapshot of “Carolla Classics” – the humor is edgy but insightful, turning pop culture ephemera into deep dives on human nature and modern quirks. The live shows, celebrity guests, and unpredictable improvisation make for enduring entertainment, even on repeat.

Listeners will especially enjoy:

• The transparent takes on fame and everyday life from celebrities who remain accessible and sharp-witted (Kimmel, Osment)
• Adam Carolla’s comic essays on the pitfalls of virtue signaling and the quirks of American culture
• Live riffing and crowd work, particularly in the “Unprepared” segments

Skip if you’re after: tightly polished, single-topic interviews or light, PC takes.

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Conclusion

A quintessential Carolla two-parter packed with reflective comedy, cultural takedowns, and standout guest interplay. It’s a reminder of the show’s enduring format: a parade of unpredictable stories where the punchline is always just around the next corner, and no subject is too mundane—or too sacred—to escape the Carolla treatment.

Transcript

[Adam Carolla]

Welcome to Cruel Classics. I'm your host, superfan Giovanni. This is the podcast we play the best moments, highlights and fans selected clips from all 17 years of the Adam Corolla show. We have a separate podcast feed titled Cruel Classics. If you'd like to gain access to the ad free archives, make sure to check out podcast one.

[Brian Bishop]

If you'd like to gain access to

[Adam Carolla]

the ad free archives of the Adam Carolla show, The Adam and Dr. Drew show, as well as access to the

[Jimmy Kimmel]

new podcast Beat it out, make sure

[Adam Carolla]

to check out Adam Carolla's substack adamcarolla.substack.com and if you'd like to request a clip, please email us classicsamcarolla.com all right, let's get to clips.

[Brian Bishop]

Coming up first, we have Adam Corolla

[Adam Carolla]

Show 2519 with Haley Joel Osment, Gina Grad, and Brian Bishop from 2019. Check it out. Got good, good news, bad news, medium news to share with you. Good day, Gina Grad.

[Gina Grad]

Good day to you.

[Adam Carolla]

Handball. Brian. Living the Dre. Yes. Positive energy. I was. I'll tell you something weird. Anyway, this half of the show brought to you, by the way. I heard it at the podcast. It's Mike Rose podcast, by the way, which we love. And MedMen.com, castrol Edge, Titanium Strong tell you about that. So as you hear this, I'm getting ready to head over and do Kimmel's show. I was the lead guest, which means I couldn't find a good guest. He's the lead guest. I'm the lead guest. And. Hmm.

[Brian Bishop]

What happened?

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know. Oh, you said as you hear this. Oh, not as you hear this. Yeah. I don't mean as you hear this. As I say this. I'm getting ready to head over as you hear it.

[Brian Bishop]

As you hear this. He killed again.

[Adam Carolla]

Killed again. I got a message late last night. You were bumped. And my now my reaction, cause I'm a Corolla is, oh, I don't have to do something fantastic.

[Gina Grad]

Canceled plans are like heroin.

[Adam Carolla]

They really are like John Mulaney says they really are. I don't know that it gets. It is like heroin and that it doesn't get you anywhere. But it feels good. It feels good.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, now I can. Nothing, right?

[Gina Grad]

Sweet relief.

[Adam Carolla]

And then Mike August said, oh, not bumped, by the way. Bumped means stay home. Kimmel's flown out to Letterman, sat in the green room in his dressing room and been told that night, no going on and flown back from New York, not part of the green New Deal, by the way. Flying people out from one coast, having them sit and eat some pretzels and some cheese and then turn around and go back to la. Not part of the Green New Deal.

[Brian Bishop]

Pump some crude while you're back there.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right. So I thought I was bumped. And then I said, oh, bumped. And then Mike said, not off the show, just from the first slot. And then he said, lady Gaga is gonna be the first guest. And I also.

[Brian Bishop]

That makes sense.

[Adam Carolla]

It makes complete, utter sense. And I have been thinking about this. I don't know why all the Queen talk lately. It's just a lot of Queen, a lot of Queen and a lot of commercials, a lot of Queen at the Oscars, a lot of Queen, everything. And then I keep hearing that stupid Radio Gaga song, and I keep thinking about the missed opportunity for Weird Al to do a Lady O Gaga. Wow. I mean, look, if he can do my bologna and lasagna, the lasagna song, you know, you got Radio Gaga, you got Queen, and you got Lady Gaga. Let's do Lady O Gaga. You know, look, you write the rest of the stuff.

[Brian Bishop]

How would that go?

[Adam Carolla]

I'm saying Lady Gaga, the master craftsman that put this masterpiece together, he could go ahead and do that with Lady O Gaga. I don't know, somewhere that rhymes with Starsborn or Bradley Cooper or Into the shallows, whatever it is. I'm not gonna tell Weird Al what to do. I'm just telling him. Next subject, Lady O Gaga to Radio Gaga.

[Gina Grad]

And I've never said this before, but since you have had such a problem with people remembering to bring their styptic, I would like to volunteer to personally be your styptic holder if Lady Gaga is going to be there.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, it's funny, because whatever you can do to help. Yeah, I'm just going to help. I said to Natalia last night, I said, I'm doing Kimmel tomorrow. And she went, can I go? And she wants to go to go to Kimmel, but not for. Not her dance. That's an issue. So you're her mule for backstage. So I was like, I don't know. I like the idea. I like the experience part. I'm very much into the experience part of kids, which is to say, going and sitting in a classroom. I can't. You know, there are three or four days out of my entire scholastic experience that I remember sitting in the classroom. I remember when it.

[Brian Bishop]

What, was an earthquake?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. No, my memories of in the classroom is Ray farting and then going out in the hall and me being moved by Mr. Bernal. I remember when a guy named Mike told Mr. Tompkins, I wish we could fight like he's a ninth grader. Said, like, I wish it was okay to throw down with you. I'd like to kick your ass. And Mr. Tompkins ran out the hall and yelled down the hall. That's my middle name at the ninth grader. But that's about all I remember. I don't remember any specific lessons or any specific days.

[Gina Grad]

Scholastic achievements.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I suppose if someone had an epileptic seizure or something, you'd remember that day.

[Gina Grad]

You don't even remember carrying a woman to the nurse's office.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, it was the standing ovation that I think got rid of that in my mind. Right. I definitely would have remembered it. If somebody said, what took you so long? I would have went, what do you mean? I was carrying a fat chick. And they would have went, well, next time you got to move faster. And then I went, God, screw you. Next time you carry the fat chick. I would have remembered that. The standing. Oh, I don't. I don't. I blocked it out. Now, going to Kimmel and going to the Long Beach Grand Prix and going to the pebble beach and going to the Oscars. And these are things that will be seared in one's memory. So I will happily keep my kid out of school any day of the week. But I told Natalia, you know, your dad's the lead guest. I don't exactly know. And by the way, whoever's coming up behind me, you don't want to know that person. That person got kicked off of, like, Survivor island, like, three seasons ago or something. You don't need that. And then I found out two hours later, Lady Gaga was coming on. Then I had to wrestle a little bit. Like, what do we do?

[Brian Bishop]

So, sorry, to clarify, did you get bumped down the line of guest order? Okay, you're still on the show.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm on after Lady Gaga.

[Brian Bishop]

Because you mentioned bumped and Kimmel and all that stuff.

[Adam Carolla]

That's what bumped means. That's why. Because Mike August can only be confusing. He has to use the word bumped, and it was bumped. But when you say bumped, you think

[Gina Grad]

off the shelf, off the show in

[Brian Bishop]

the first segment, especially with Kimmel, because his long running joke was, sorry we had to bump Matt Damon.

[Adam Carolla]

Right, right. The email or the conversation should be, you're in the second slide, not, you've been bumped. I'll let you react to that and then let me circle back and tell you what really happened.

[Brian Bishop]

Now there's a real celebrity in slot number one, though. Natalia's gotta reconcile that.

[Gina Grad]

Is there a worry that you're spoiling Natalia with all these celebrities? She had Kim Kardashian. She has lady gag.

[Brian Bishop]

Did she tell one visit to form another?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I don't know. She care. I. She then came home from school because she threw up at school. She didn't know about it. And you know what I'm gonna say today? I think we're gonna let sleeping dogs lie because she was nauseous and asleep when I left the house. But I cleared it with Lynette. I was like, you tell me. And she's like, nah, let her.

[Brian Bishop]

Let her stay on. She's got a fever. Actually sick.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Although she would recover, I'm assuming. But then the reality is Lynette's a bigger Lady Gaga fan.

[Brian Bishop]

As long as you're not using that

[Gina Grad]

spot right, and it'll be in the headlines that Lady Gaga contracted men and children.

[Adam Carolla]

I was gonna say.

[Brian Bishop]

I was actually gonna say, you're a good dad. You wanna give your kid good experiences. That's very admirable. But you also hate narcissists. And bringing a sick person around, not just, you know, celebrities need to perform, but, you know, around other people don't do that.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. And I wouldn't if she was sick. I don't know what the kids who. I don't. I live in a world where everyone's sick and then nobody's sick, depending on what's happening later that day. So everyone's too sick for school, but if they're going to Trampoline World, they have very speedy recovery that afternoon, you know, so I'm not so sure what is. It's not the adult version of I was nauseous and I threw up. That's you down for three days. This is something else. Yeah, she bounced back. In Trampoline World, that's what they do. They bounce back. I want to thank everyone who's made it possible for the Not Taco Bell material. Austin, Burbank, Denver, Dallas, Phoenix, Seattle, Washington, D.C. all sold out. Amazing. So thanks. And we shall put some more dates up on tug.com and it's just kind of an interesting experiment. You make your little movie and it never gets formally. There was no shot it would get into a theater because it had to be bought by distributor or sold at Sundance or whatever. And even then was a wrestling match to see if it ever went inside of a theater. Now you can put your movies in theater. So we'll keep you Posted.

[Gina Grad]

And we should do a hashtag that night so everyone from all over the country who's at a screening can tweet their pictures. And we can all go to the hashtag, like, you know, ntbm, not Taco Bell material, whatever, Just so we can all see the pictures from everyone from their screenings.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I had the greatest moment, at least in a small, feel good kind of way. I was on the website before I went to bed, and I was like, I wonder how many. There's lots of ticket sales going on over here. How many are we going to sell over there? And how many we have left for Burbank if people want to come out, blah, blah, blah. And then I was like, where is Minneapolis? Minneapolis was on there and it's gone. This was 10 o' clock last night. And I said, what happened to Minneapolis? Wait, Minneapolis? We sold like 100 tickets in Minneapolis.

[Brian Bishop]

It was also one of the first to clear the threshold.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I was like, what happened to Minneapolis? What happened to Minneapolis? And it was off the page and I don't read. So I scrolled down about five different times. I was like, no, it's not there. And then I woke up this morning and I opened the computer and somebody tweeted me. Went to the Minneapolis show last night. It rocked. We all loved it. And I went. And then I remember, oh, they got the one that was the 26th one was the day before. That was Minneapolis. And I went from what the hell happened? To, oh, good time was that. I got that. Yes, we got some favorite tweets or liked tweets. Cause I got people been tweeting me stuff. Here's the tweets he liked. He didn't reply because he cannot type. Here's the tweets he liked send him

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

by you to piss him off all

[Adam Carolla]

day and all night. Here's the tweets he likes. All right, let's see. What do we got? Max Beta.

[Haley Joel Osment]

So this first tweet, it's from Got kids yoage.

[Brian Bishop]

And it is.

[Haley Joel Osment]

He tweeted a sticker that says, we need more heroes like this. And it's the back of a car window with a sticker that says, driver carries no cash. She rescues dogs.

[Adam Carolla]

I was thinking double message.

[Brian Bishop]

I was thinking, it's not a cab, by the way. The driver carries an suv.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, right. And it's also. It's pretty antiquated. It's like, got rescuers. Like, the driver carries no cash is. I don't know. In the uber world we're living in, doesn't really Apply.

[Brian Bishop]

It's like, you're no kidding.

[Adam Carolla]

What's cash, Right? Okay. Hero. And then I started drilling down, like, I'm trying to figure out when we kind of jump the shark. So I've said to you, everyone wants to be a hero. No one wants to climb into the octagon.

[Gina Grad]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

Or nobody wants to be engaged with another Soviet MiG and have their missile lock on them. Like, we all want to be seen that way. But then there's the actual action of being that way. The doc that won the academy award was the free climber guy. We'd all like to be that guy, except for the part where we don't want to go up the devil Capitan. The devil's hamper with no rope. So there's this. We have to wait out.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah. So now the most bang for our buck by doing the least, we've discovered

[Adam Carolla]

a way to have both. We can be heroes by getting free dogs. Which. Which sort of nice. Win.

[Brian Bishop]

Win.

[Adam Carolla]

The sad reality is no one thinks of you as a hero. You've just announced you're a hero. The problem with proclaiming you're a her, if everybody proclaims their hero simultaneously, there are no heroes. If you say now the award for most valuable player on the team and the entire team stands up and walks up to the podium, there really is no valuable. Most valuable player. But I started my whole. So my whole youth there was something called the pound. And when someone went to the pound, they got a free dog. And if somebody got a pound dog, we sort of looked at him as, I guess you didn't have the money to go to the mall and get a real dog. You just got the sloppy seconds.

[Brian Bishop]

You got a CPO dog.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. And abc Wednesdays, the Emmy winning comedy scrubs is all new.

[Brian Bishop]

This is a whole new chapter for me.

[Adam Carolla]

No more sad sack. That's what I'm talking about. I want both of our sacks to be fun. You two idiots are perfect for each other. From executive producers of Ted Lasso and shrinking. We were all a part of this victory.

[Brian Bishop]

Now get those nachos out of the premium warmer nachos. Feels like there's more applause for the

[Adam Carolla]

nachos than my speech.

[Haley Joel Osment]

The new season of Scrubs, Wednesdays, 8,

[Adam Carolla]

7 Central on ABC and stream on hulu. I get. I get all the rescue part. I mean, I get the part where the puppy mills and all and all that kind of stuff. But just when I was a kid, if somebody had a purebred German shepherd or Labrador or whatever, it's like that family has their shit together. They went to the mall and they got themselves a real dog. You guys went to the pound, got yourself a free dog, and that's what the pound was. The pound in terms of dogs had a little bit of a negative connotation to it. Like you could only you guys, like the Corollas couldn't have any dog because you would have. You have to buy kibble and clean up poop and look after rub bellies and drive to the pound. But if we were good enough, we would have been a pound dog family. And it wouldn't be because we were heroes. It's because we were zeros and we wanted free. Wouldn't pay zero for a dog. So somewhere around this time where people who got free dogs from the pound started announcing they were rescuers. They were like dog first responders who rescued who?

[Gina Grad]

Bumper stickers.

[Adam Carolla]

Part of the. If someone could figure out that date, that's about the time we started jumping the shark.

[Brian Bishop]

You know what may have precipitated this? Ginny. You might remember this from your childhood. Our childhood.

[Gina Grad]

Wait, can we say it at the same time? One, two, three pound puppies.

[Brian Bishop]

Do you remember the toy? Obviously it wasn't your demo, but yeah, in the 80s or thereabouts, there were pound puppies. It was very fashionable. It was very cool.

[Gina Grad]

Little toys, stuffed animals.

[Brian Bishop]

They were adorable little stuffed dogs.

[Gina Grad]

I had at least one

[Brian Bishop]

fine pound puppies.

[Adam Carolla]

This must have shown up about the time I voted stickers came in because I don't think I voted. Stickers were around in the 50s and the 60s and 70s.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

80s.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't think so. The I voted thing is much the same thing. Which is, first off, it's kind of your job to vote as a citizen. But secondly, I wouldn't call it impressive.

[Brian Bishop]

It's just.

[Adam Carolla]

You did it. I don't know why you need to show up at the office and let everyone know that you voted. There's a pound puppy.

[Gina Grad]

Yep, there they are. And they're so sad.

[Adam Carolla]

Comes in a box.

[Brian Bishop]

Adopt me, rescue me.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know if I had. Did I have a few paragraphs on this in my book? Max Spada and not pound puppy. Just in case I know Dawson talks to you.

[Brian Bishop]

You have thoughts on pound puppies?

[Adam Carolla]

I have no thoughts on pound puppies. I do sort of try to break down our society and try to figure out when people started doing the virtue signaling and when we sort of jumping the shark that direction. And I and I little things like nobody would ever call themselves a rescuer. Who just went and got a free dog in the past. But I also don't know how long I voted. Stickers have been around now. I'm sure they've been around longer in California.

[Brian Bishop]

That's probably true.

[Adam Carolla]

Than Indiana because we like to virtue signal a little more than other states perhaps. But I am kind of curious when that started.

[Haley Joel Osment]

All right, so this is in. In 50 years we'll all be chicks. Guys you can't hang out with. One of them is guys who announced they rescue dogs. You didn't go into a burning warehouse or the roof of a flooded barn to get the dog. You went to the pound because you were too cheap to go to the mall. You don't love dogs nearly as much as you love the idea of people thinking you're a hero. You ever notice people who buy their dogs rarely discuss how they got them versus these a holes who work the phrase she's a rescue into every effing conversation. What do you want Spielberg to make

[Adam Carolla]

a movie about you?

[Haley Joel Osment]

I'd love to follow one of these douchebags run for a year with a clicker counter bouncers use at the door of the club and find out how many times they utter the phrase, quote, she's a rescue Over a over under would be 15,000. When I was a kid, all the sofas in my house were freebies we got from other people who were throwing them out. My mom never once referred to them as rescues.

[Adam Carolla]

Powerful. It's a powerful statement.

[Brian Bishop]

Finally giving it to those rescuers.

[Gina Grad]

They've had it too good for too long.

[Adam Carolla]

It was my mom that was our version of a new sofa, someone else's old sofa that we put a sheet on. That is the sad. It's a sad thing. I think IKEA's probably done away with that move where you put a sheet over. Essentially upholster, reupholster your sofa with a sheet.

[Gina Grad]

I have a little info on the I voted stickers.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I'm curious.

[Gina Grad]

So you're right on the money. They apparently they first started making an appearance in 1982, but really picked up steam in 85 through 87 and are there state.

[Adam Carolla]

Did they just go all national all at once?

[Gina Grad]

They said they started in. I believe it started in Miami and then it went to Phoenix and it became national pretty much in 87, I'm looking at.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, so the people who go to the pounds and get dogs are good people. The people who then put stickers on their SUVs explaining they did that are bad people. Okay, fine. Line it's a fine line. You do a bunch of things that I don't need to know about and you can just go ahead and do that as a good person. Go get a dog, go vote, love your kids, do whatever you gotta do and just do it for you.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, do it for you.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't need to know about it. As a matter of fact, I'd prefer not to. All right, I wrestle on the I gave blood sticker. It's a little more committed than the

[Brian Bishop]

vote one is you're probably saving a human life or at least an emergency situation.

[Adam Carolla]

But under my logic, you still may not display that stick. All right, what's the next one you got? Max Pata.

[Haley Joel Osment]

All right, so this next one was tweeted to you. It's about a emotional support pit bull that mauled a five year old girl in Portland. There's a story that came out today.

[Adam Carolla]

The mom is suing in Mike Vick's backyard. Where could this be? Look, if that little kid hopped the fence and got into got into the backyard of this person in this crime riddled neighborhood, well then that's an issue. So I need to know where it was. Was it Vick's, Was it the pit on Vic's property? Or was it just a backyard in South Central?

[Haley Joel Osment]

This one? Surprisingly neither. It's Portland International Airport.

[Adam Carolla]

At an airport. What's a dog doing in an airport?

[Haley Joel Osment]

So this is sent to you by at Lance Hardy and the article states that the mom is suing the airport. Alaska Airline.

[Adam Carolla]

Hold on. Private airport owned by Mike Vick. Or. Or a public airport.

[Brian Bishop]

We're drill down on this.

[Haley Joel Osment]

This is a public airport.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. First off, the piles of defecation and the diarrhea and everything I see at lax or the kid getting mauled by the pit, how could it go? Can it go any other way?

[Brian Bishop]

No, this is the end result. This is the logical end point.

[Adam Carolla]

It's impossible. You have a dog.

[Brian Bishop]

Of course it's gonna happen.

[Adam Carolla]

The dog is being dragged around by someone who's presumably a little unstable. So maybe not the greatest sort of yardstick to measure the dog and how it reacts with people. I'm sure that person was like, well, the dog was only scared and trying to protect me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All things you need to factor in to the five year old with no face. So you are very bad. Point of the point of entry, the part, the part who gets to decide where the dog goes airport is a crazy middle aged bitch. So that's no good then you just have sounds and lights and traffic and people and other dogs and feet and noises and a higher, you know, whatever. Yes. And it's gonna end up with a lot of this, but go ahead.

[Haley Joel Osment]

Yeah. So the lawsuit is against the airport, Alaska Airlines, for allegedly allowing the owner.

[Brian Bishop]

She was to bring the dog into

[Haley Joel Osment]

the gate waiting area where the attack happened when the dog wasn't a trained service animal and wasn't properly confined. And they're also suing the owner, so she's getting sued as well.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, into the air cannon, into the air can. And we gotta test the metallurgy of the impeller and the propeller on that big Rolls Royce jet engine that powers the 777. Just fire it up, baby. Pink mist. And then we video the whole thing and we just pipe it in on every TV set in every airport.

[Gina Grad]

It might not be you, but it might be.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. Well, you don't know. This is what could happen if you don't have a legitimate use for your dog at the airport. If you're blind, don't worry about it. If I don't know if it's pulling your wheelchair or something like Ben Hur, fine. But if it's just a comfort thing. No, no.

[Brian Bishop]

I obviously hope that little girl is okay. But I also hope this is the tipping point to where, you know, these, these. There's a crackdown. This has gotten out of hand.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Brian Bishop]

You know, put your pay for it, put your dog in a crate, or actually have a service dog, you know, take the train.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah. And again, this presumes that people will do the right thing if you just sort of use your honor code. This is, hey, I can just leave a big plastic pumpkin filled with Reese's pieces in the front of my yard on Halloween because the wife and I are out of town. And I'll just put a little note. Limit yourself to one miniature Hershey's bar per person. And then you come back and within eight minutes it's empty and someone is defecated into it. So sadly, that's where we're living. I do believe before there was airline travel, ironically, like this would have worked. Turn of the. In 1907, this would have worked like people had some decorum. It wasn't a self policing. It wasn't a cage match. It wasn't every person for themselves. It was just a sort of, you don't do this because we're not the kind of people who do.

[Brian Bishop]

That wasn't done.

[Adam Carolla]

We sort of self governed back then. Now it's also, it is the slippery slope of way Too many rules.

[Brian Bishop]

Flights were so much better in 1907.

[Adam Carolla]

The slippery slope of rules is sort of the slippery slope of the IRS, which is if somebody said, look, we just take 25% out of every dollar you make, and there are no write offs, there are no dependencies, there's no anything. Everyone just gets 25% of every dollar you make. I'd be completely fine with that. But we want 45%. But there's a bunch of rules. So it forces you to start going, how do I get around these rules? And the more rules there are, the more ways society's trying to navigate around the rules, sadly. But it's also. I don't know. I often think about a sort of religious breakdown as well. As an atheist, I still wonder. Like, I feel like religion used to keep more people in line a little bit, but maybe. Maybe that's me. I don't know. I just feel like there's a decline of religion and a raising of every man for themselves. I mean, religion is sort of the opposite of every man for themselves, at least in theory. You're supposed to be looking at that guy. And we're in a kind of looting phase where we've broken into some stereo store and everyone's just running around grabbing stuff. And it's kind of like. Because we can.

[Gina Grad]

Well, think about it. How much crime is there in Utah? I imagine it's quite below the average.

[Adam Carolla]

Utah is insane. Utah, you walk into. And when you live in LA and you're used to seeing toilets dumped out by your workplace and graffiti everywhere. Utah's almost confusing. It looks.

[Gina Grad]

Did I die?

[Adam Carolla]

It looks bizarre. Yeah. There is no. There's no. You don't. I mean, I'm in Salt Lake City. I don't know if there's a south side of Utah, the other side of the track, but I'm just saying, you don't see graffiti, you don't see garbage, you don't see all the shopping carts that have been had the wheels pulled off it and turned over and lit on fire. Like, you just don't see all of what we see here. All right, Is there one more?

[Haley Joel Osment]

Yeah. So someone just tweeted you this picture

[Brian Bishop]

of a goat cheese and lox bagel.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, my God.

[Adam Carolla]

I gotta tell you, I find so many things wrong with this bagel.

[Brian Bishop]

The bagel itself.

[Adam Carolla]

The bagel itself. The bagel.

[Brian Bishop]

That's an everything bagel, girl.

[Gina Grad]

Disgusting. I know. It's too much poppy seed ratio.

[Adam Carolla]

Everything bagels. A nothing bagel. It's like saying the everything ice Cream, like everything. Ice cream is 15 flavors of ice cream, which is no flavor. Yeah, give me coffee or mint and chip or whatever, but don't give me everything. This bagel is. You can't see the bagel itself because it's covered in poppy seeds and caraway seeds and everything else. So the bagel itself is a disaster. The goat cheese is like, look, I don't like goat cheese. But if somebody tells me they enjoy goat cheese, I don't hold it against them. I politely do explain, will never speak again. But I don't hold it against personal. No, there's Max Apata likes goat cheese. And I was yelling at him, and then he went, I like goat. And I was like, okay, my beef, pardon the pun, with goat cheese is it tastes like goat, and I don't like goat. But if Maxapata, you grow up on some insane island where people breathe through bamboo and, I mean, when they're underwater. But that's a lot of the time, and, you know, that's you. And if you want to eat goat, that's fine. And if you like goat cheese because you like goat, I'm gonna make an exception. I'm gonna grandfather you in goat cheese.

[Haley Joel Osment]

Four locks.

[Adam Carolla]

And he walked on down the hall, breathing through bamboo. All right, that's the end. That's your culture. That's fine. You eat shrimp tails and shrimp heads. You do things that only cats and garbage disposals do. And goats, Ironically, you are as discerning as a garbage disposal and. Or a feral cat when it comes to what you consume.

[Haley Joel Osment]

But you appreciate that, right? Because I'm not wasting anything.

[Adam Carolla]

I do. I love it.

[Brian Bishop]

He's like, stoned garbage disposal.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, yes. And I'm a fan. I'm a fan. And so you are grandfathered in that you like goat cheese. Okay. It isn't so much that. It's that you've replaced cream cheese.

[Haley Joel Osment]

Oh, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

That's the thing with goat cheese on a bagel. Cream cheese is awesome on a bagel and cream cheese and lox and tomato and the schmear and the whole nine yards. It's all the best. And now you have taken this and removed it. Not because we're out of cream cheese. You've decided to go another direction. So it's like. Like, pizza's great. Provolone is great. Provolone or whatever. What's the pizza. What's the cheese we do on pizza? Mozzarella. Mozzarella on the pizza. Whatever. That's all fine. But if you swap that out for goat cheese, now we have an issue.

[Brian Bishop]

And the problem here is in that they're not assuming there is. It's not that they're assuming people like goat cheese. They're presupposing incorrectly. People prefer goat cheese over cream cheese. You're eating goat cheese. I like goat cheese. I'd prefer it on a bagel over cream cheese. It's insane.

[Gina Grad]

The silent masses, we're assuming they're out

[Brian Bishop]

there pooper free eggs clamor.

[Adam Carolla]

You know, there's an argument that if you're doing a beet salad and you want some goat cheese with your beet salad, then that's an argument for goat cheese. Because I don't know if cream cheese would be good on a beet salad. But this is not that this exists. People like it. Leave it alone. Stop reinventing things. And there's no doubt we can thank the San Francisco Bay for this because all the highfalutin people came out of there and then they thought, well, you know what? All the as you knew it not good. We need to change it. And it did not work. You're a Jew, Gina. How say you?

[Gina Grad]

This is disgusting. It's an abomination and it goes against God fact.

[Adam Carolla]

Thank you. Thank you. Jesus Christ. He'll rant on and he'll never get tired. Keep sending him the tweet to lie. All right, I want to give a little love to my friend Mike Rowe who we all just love. Looking for another great podcast. How about you check out his podcast the way I heard it with Mike Rowe. Really unique takes on American history, pop culture and politics, actors to athletes, history to Hollywood. It's all there. Each episode is only 10 minutes or less. Stories for the curious mind with a short attention span. America's number one short form podcast and download more than 87 million times. I love Mike Rowe. I love Dirty jobs. I love the whole foundation about getting kids back to work and using their hands.

[Gina Grad]

He has a pay it forward show. He's great.

[Adam Carolla]

He's the real deal. So if you're interested in learn about family arguments back. The other thing you learn is nothing is new. Like people would sit around the table in the 1800s and Thanksgiving and have the same arguments that that families are having now about Trump and Hillary Clinton that have the exact same thing back then, but only not about Trump and Hillary Clinton. Go to mikeroe.com podcast today. That is M I K E R O W E.com podcast and check it out. Good guy. Yes.

[Gina Grad]

You know what's really fun to do with this show? I've heard almost all of them. I love them. They're amazing. They're set up like mysteries so he doesn't reveal who he's talking about until the very end. And it's fun to try and figure it out before he gets there. It's. It's really well written.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it's got a little thick and wooden. It's got a little.

[Gina Grad]

Paul Harvey.

[Adam Carolla]

Paul Harvey. Yes. Good day. Like, he'd do these things and he'd talk about something and he'd lay it all out and he'd go. And that man was John Denver. And he'd go, oh, no, my God. There was like, you had no idea with all the different stuff he was talking about, all the travels and everything. It's kind of a fun. Kind of reverse engineering to do on a life. All right. Hey, Craig, 52 from Minnesota went to the screening last night. Craig? Yes, thanks for taking my call. Thanks for going last night. Tell us all about it. Well, it was very good, very enjoyable. I had lots of laughs. It started off kind of slow, and then the pace quickened and it was. The theater was just raucous and laughing, and I think everybody enjoyed it. It was. Anybody who's on the fence should definitely get a ticket. I thought it was just great. And then you get that theater experience too. Sometimes you sort of feed off the laughter of the others. But I don't know. I can't say enough good things about it. I'm kind of a big fan. I've been listening for a number of years. I just thought it was great. Well, I thank you. Whenever you come up with something, you do something, you make a movie, a sitcom, a doc, even a Doc Lesser. So a doc. But especially Stand Up, Special Man. When you hear people go like, oh, I'll check it out. I got a flight coming up. I'll watch it on my computer. I'm always going, no, no, no. Because there's like, somebody's gonna come by with a cart and offer you a Molson beer. Like, somewhere around minute 18, some Pitbull's gonna maul you. Yes. And then it minute 41, the person at the window is gonna need to go to the bathroom. And you think it's a thing. It's interesting. I've never really thought about this, but people think they can. They think they can multitask. How many times you talk to someone who's like, looking at their phone and you're like, hey, listen. And they're like, yeah, I know, I got it. And you're like, no, you don't. You don't have it. You think you have it, but you don't. You don't have it.

[Brian Bishop]

It's literally a daily conversation between Christy and I. Like, I'll tell her something to be on her phone and I'll try as politely as I can. It comes off as passive aggressive, but I'll wait. And she goes, I can do two things at once. Like, I know you can, but I prefer you listen to me right now.

[Adam Carolla]

I know it's great living with people where all suggestions are taken as attacks. There's no nice way.

[Brian Bishop]

There's no nice way to say, go ahead, finish what you're doing.

[Adam Carolla]

I have the exact same thing with Lynette, which is like, look, you were texting when I walked into the room. I'm not holding it against you. I'm just saying, I'll wait till you're done. And then it's like, okay, what are the alternatives here? It is an attack. Simply saying, finish and then I shall speak. I'll wait. So it's an attack, though it's definitely attack.

[Brian Bishop]

I should learn my lesson.

[Adam Carolla]

I mean, you're John Wayne Bobbitt is basically what you are. You're somewhere. You're somewhere between Ike Turner and John Wayne Bobbitt in terms of your approach to the relationship. Yes. So. But when you do a stand up special or whatever, having people in a theater enjoying it together completely changes the experience. I just, whatever the drop off is, if you decide to watch it at home on your computer. Now look, if you want to buy it and watch it on your big screen and shut the lights and have a glass of wine and wait till Friday night, so be it. But the sort of check it out on your phone or your computer diminishes it quite a bit. Craig? Yes. Yeah, I'd like to add, I really like the format when you got to the monitor and then started going through. I hope I'm not giving too much away by saying you went through some photographs and that was fantastic. In feeding off the bits from the photographs on the monitor, I thought was. Was a unique thing that you probably do quite well. But it's more than just a stand up one guy with a mic. And so I appreciated that and I thought there was a lot of good new stuff or new takes on similar themes that you hear throughout your show. And then I thought there was plenty of. There was a little bit of inside jokes too for those of us that have been long time listeners.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

So.

[Adam Carolla]

But I don't want to discourage Anybody who is sort of new to the show, not to go. But you could tell there was a lot of fans there at the Minneapolis screening. There was a ton of laughs and people. I felt they really enjoyed themselves. Well, thanks. And thanks for going, Craig, and we'll try to keep this going. And again, a few months ago, basically, the Netflix guy just said, I watched 15 minutes and I'm not interested. So this would be a nice comeback from between. I mean, it's the weirdest thing in the world. Thank you, Craig. I talked to my agent sort of the next day, and he just kind of gave me the. Yeah, I don't know. So it's like you spend eight years creating something. You go out, you hire a crew and a jib and everything. You film the whole thing, then you go whack the whole thing together, and you basically have 72 minutes of your life, and you're very proud of it, and it's years in the making and so on and so forth. And then you present it to Netflix and they go. And then you talk to your agent. Now, to be fair to my agent, my agent goes off of the reaction of others. So if you did the pilot for Family Guy and showed it an ABC passed on it, then if you talk to Dixon, he'd go, all right, well, that's no good. What's our next practice? He doesn't go. They didn't like it, but I like it. We need to do something. It's like his thing is, like, dead. Moving on. So we gave it to Netflix. The guy's like, I watched 15 minutes, and then Dixon talked to him. And then I talked to Dixon, like, the next day, and he's like, well, anyway, moving on. I don't want to move on that fast. This took a long time and a lot of effort and a lot of money and a lot of everything else to do. So maybe we shouldn't move on so fast.

[Gina Grad]

Well, and we can say at least two people who sat in a giant audience and watched this on the cruise, the Kills people were. Oh, my God. I mean, obviously they were excited to be there anyway and see this in the making. But not only was it just hysterical, but it is so much fun to watch it with a crowd.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, thanks. And to be fair, it's not like Dixon watched it. He just talked about. He talks to the Netflix guy who watched between four and seven minutes of it and said he was moving on. So let's be fair. All right, if you want. Oh, if you went to the screening. So if you went Last night. You can give us a call. Oh, I'll put the number up. 877-564-2326.

[Gina Grad]

Or if you need your piano tuned

[Adam Carolla]

and you can give us a call before. Make your star at about 4pm Eastern Time and then let us know and then we'll talk about it. I'm very curious about it, but it's also, it's bit a little. Such a long road to go down. And it's weird when it just goes away so quickly after the road. So I'm gonna try to enjoy it. You guys should too. We got eat your feelings. I'm excited about. I'm bumped by Ocean's 8. I watch Ocean's 8.

[Brian Bishop]

You see the whole thing.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, you know what happened? This is a two way street here, Brian.

[Brian Bishop]

Okay.

[Adam Carolla]

The two way street is we all have had the movie that was built up too much. And then we finally got around to seeing it and then we left the theater or our den and went not as good as everyone made it out to be. That is a syndrome and it cannot be helped. It is like built up, built up, built up. Then you see it, it's a little let down. That's how it works. Ocean's Hate was built down. First it was like, oh, it's abortion. Oh, it's so bad. Oh, what do we need girls do in this war? Blah, blah, blah. Sandra Bullock is very likable.

[Brian Bishop]

So is likable.

[Adam Carolla]

And the way the ocean's movies are made. Are made. It's like jingling keys over a crib and you're an infant, you know, so they move along. Music moves along. So I ended up just watching it and it's again, I just, I like to sort of watch and see what the cameos are and see why it got made and blah, blah, blah. But there was a scene. Spoiler alert. At the very end, she went to the mausoleum where Danny, her brother, was buried, George Clooney was buried. And she went to go basically make peace with him after the one last job. Or he would have been proud. Or. I know it's always a weird thing. It's like, yeah, my brother would have been proud that I ripped off a bunch of stuff that wasn't mine and sold it to the old block family value sold. Some guys running an OPEC nation like, awesome for you, bro. Good for you. Yeah. But all right. And she went there and she walked up to the mausoleum. And of course I have to do. What I do is I have to check the dates on everyone else who died at the mausoleum. Including Danny ocean, who I think was a 63 to 2018. I like when movies make people an age too. Like, oh, he's that old. The picture. And you can stop where she's pouring a martini and she's in front of the well, you can sort of pull out maxapata or pull in or pull out or whatever it is.

[Haley Joel Osment]

We'll pull in.

[Adam Carolla]

We don't have to steal this. Danny oceans is above somebody named Helga M. Meyer. Yeah. That person was born in 1992 and did not see 2011 people.

[Brian Bishop]

Jesus. That 18 year old Helga died in 2010.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it could have been 17, 3/4 a teenage Helga. I'm like, boy, this person didn't graduate high school.

[Brian Bishop]

How about the person right next to him?

[Adam Carolla]

That's the other person that was born in 1979 and died in 08. Got some pretty young dead people here.

[Gina Grad]

That's pretty sad.

[Adam Carolla]

And I'm just looking at it and I'm going morbid. It's a little like anyone who drives around Los Angeles and sees the bumper sticker on the back of the gardening truck that's honoring hildago and it's like, geez, he was born in 89. He didn't. Died in 06. Like what? Like a weird. It's super depressing memorials, the mobile. But it. When you see someone's like born in 1929, died 2014, you go, okay, all right. I'm sure they have some grandkids who mourned at them. Whatever. You see someone is born in the 90s and didn't get past 2010. So I'm just looking at it. And Max Appat will pull back and we'll show the whole thing. At some point you get an idea. But here's my thing. I'm gonna tease it. You guys tell me. I'm sure they just did. I'm sure they just found a mausoleum. They found a thing and they went, we just need to set dress one plot one plot, one slab. 128 inch by 28 inch slab of Carrara marble. We'll put Danny Ocean's name on it and we'll change the dates up. I would have also noticed a few of the dates around it and went, this is gonna. This is gonna bump people. Or this seems a little off putting. I don't want anything in the 90s. So as long as we're making up fake things to graft on, make three more.

[Gina Grad]

Keep the kids out of it. The minors.

[Brian Bishop]

It's not their fault.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know. What do you guys think? You guys tell me. I'll let you noodle on what happened. First, I'll tell you about Med Men 2019. Yes, Max Pat. I need the establishing shot.

[Haley Joel Osment]

Yeah, we're pulling the scene apart.

[Adam Carolla]

Thank you. Because if we don't have the establishing shot, Max Pat, we don't really know. Know what I'm saying? We're at in General for everything. 2019 just started, yet history has already been made. The new normal is here. Have you seen it? Finally, the moment when a product that once drove good people to the black market has been revealed as one that's now creating a global market. It used to inspire a symbol of counterculture. And long last, it's just culture. So the new normal has arrived. And Medmen has put together a video that is spectacular.

[Gina Grad]

Very cool.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, you watched it?

[Gina Grad]

It's awesome. Yeah, I watched it yesterday.

[Adam Carolla]

And we have to now guess who the very famous director was who did that. Not you, Brian. You may get it. It's two minutes long. It's the new normal. It seeks to leave behind 80 years of unjust prohibition in favor of a safer, happier world. And you can watch this [e-mail] that is medmen.com. yes, Max Batter. We always need the establishing thing. All right, you got it. Yes. In everything, all the time. She walks up that big wall at the mausoleum, she's gonna pour herself a martini and toast Danny.

[Brian Bishop]

Here's to a job well done, bro.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Only three people died. All right, so there's Danny and his thing. But again, just below and just above him are the people Never saw their 30th birthday. One died as a teenager.

[Gina Grad]

Way easiest to see is the teenager.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, now it's pulling in on the teenager.

[Brian Bishop]

It's as prominent. More prominent than martini, Right?

[Adam Carolla]

All right, so some young chick named Helga.

[Brian Bishop]

It's still in frame. The camera's moving. It's still in frame. Oh, boy.

[Gina Grad]

Still.

[Adam Carolla]

It's weird, right? Someone who was born in 92 is dead. Everybody. And I'm sure there's some heartbreaking story about Helga.

[Gina Grad]

Wonder if the family noticed that this is in the movie. Might be around.

[Adam Carolla]

I would normally say yes, except for I now think no one notices anything at any time.

[Brian Bishop]

That's my guess. I think no one noticed. So the movie was directed by Gary Ross, who's a good director, visual director at Pleasantville Seabiscuit. He does these sort of. And that was a very good looking shot. That was like a jib shot that started up above, came around down below. Finally focused on her. I think the lighting was where he wanted it. I think the blocking of everything's where he wanted it. He didn't even care or notice. And if he noticed, he didn't care about the teenage victim in the foreground.

[Adam Carolla]

Teenage victim. I would notice, but that's my job. All right, Gina, we're going to dismiss you. You're going to start making and being with the e eat our feelings, which I have no idea what she's whipped up, but I'm excited to consume it. Let's see. Haley Joel Osment is here. He's 30. I mean, look, he's been around since Forrest Gump, right? Yeah, he's four years old when he was still surprised that he's not over 30. He should be on a tombstone in that movie

[Brian Bishop]

little forest.

[Adam Carolla]

The movie is coming out with Zac Efron. Lily Collins. Can I say this?

[Brian Bishop]

It's the Ted Bundy movie, right?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, Brian, you tell me. I watched a trailer. It looks good. I'm into Ted Bundy.

[Brian Bishop]

I'm intrigued.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm intrigued and everything like that. Ted Bundy was a good looking guy indeed, but he wasn't Jack. Like he wasn't Hugh Jackman in Wolverine. Do we need the scene where Zac Efron's taking his shirt off and Ted Bundy is basically a fitness model?

[Brian Bishop]

What we need to do is Hollywood needs to do a little more of the I Tanya model, which they did their best to, you know, get Margot Robbie vision of all visions to be the Tonya Harding.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I know it's in Zack's rider that he needs to take his shirt off at some point, but could we just tell him to like exhale while we film him or something? Like. Like he's jacked. And it's like I've seen a million pictures of Ted Bundy, who's a nice looking guy who seems trim, but he doesn't Essentially in shape, but he doesn't seem like a middleweight Soviet boxer.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, this. This is the. This is like the punchline to the story you tell on stage where it's like Zac Efron takes his shirt off and everything he does in the Ted Bundy story, he actually did it in the Ted Bundy store. My God,

[Adam Carolla]

I get it. He looks. He looks good with his shirt off. But it wasn't like Ted Bundy, fitness expert and serial killer. Ted Bundy, personal trainer and serial killer. It wasn't that. It was just Ted Bundy guy in a sweater.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, he was a normal dude, Right. I Mean, for all. I mean, normal dude. You know what I mean? Like, he wasn't an exceptional athlete, from what I understand.

[Haley Joel Osment]

Yeah, he's kind of. He's just a skinny guy.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay. I'm just saying, as long as we're

[Brian Bishop]

making the movie, Christian Bale can put on £50.

[Adam Carolla]

What I'm saying is, are we portraying somebody who we're aware of exists? And do we have photos of that? And if the answer is yes, whether it's Jim Morrison or Ted Bundy, whoever it is, you do your best to get as close as you possibly can to that. And if Ted wasn't featured in a Peloton a campaign, then maybe Zach shouldn't be shredded for the role.

[Brian Bishop]

Do you know Ted wasn't featured in Peloton?

[Adam Carolla]

I do not. Okay, well, we'll have to check that. All right. I was walking my dog today, and a guy came out of an office and said, are you going to be at the peterson on the 10th? And I said, yes, I am.

[Brian Bishop]

Get you to my piano.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm going to be down there walking the dog. How dare. I'll be down there with my car. So the tent Sunday, Dawson, Sunday the 10th. Come on out. See us. The show's sold out at night. Kim will be there, but Leno will be there during the day and Danny Trejo, and they will do the whole car thing during the day. And then I think there's a couple tickets left for Upadillo, though, I don't know. Willie T. Will be out there as well. All right. Brea in Denver gonna be doing live stand up there as well. Adam Kroll's unprepared and the digital download for not Taco Bell material is going to drop on this Tuesday, March 5th, I think that's right. You can go to chassis.com and iTunes. Just pre order it. It would be nice.

[Haley Joel Osment]

All right, Here's a picture of Ted Bundy with his shirt off.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, he's trim. He's trim. That bulging arms up front. I know. All right.

[Brian Bishop]

Looks like a runner.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

Running for the cops.

[Adam Carolla]

Running after victims. It's good not to be rotund when you have to escape facilities. A lot of times it involves climbing out of windows and shimming down drain pipes and things of that nature. And big dudes can't get away with that. Okay, we will take ourselves a quick break and we'll be back with eat your feelings right after. And now a real Rotten Rotten Tomatoes review of the wizard of Oz. I sat cringing before MGM's Technicolor production of the wizard of Oz, which displays

[Haley Joel Osment]

no trace of imagination, good taste, or ingenuity.

[Adam Carolla]

That was a real rotten rotten tomatoes. Review from Russell Maloney of the New Yorker of the wood wizard of Oz. Certified fresh at 98. Now back to the Adam Carolla show. Does it say what year? I'm just thinking, because if we. If it does, we should include that part. Be very curious.

[Brian Bishop]

Feels like a contemporary review of. Of, you know, from the day.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, from the day. All right, Gina grad. We have sampled her offerings and oh,

[Gina Grad]

but did they like it a lot.

[Adam Carolla]

Then our friend Betty helped her lose the weight she gained. Now she's cooking healthy meals at night.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

And ever since, since then, her clothes aren't as tight.

[Adam Carolla]

It's time for eat your feelings. Do some healthy eating

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

with Gina's recipes.

[Adam Carolla]

That was, by the way, the review was from 1939.

[Gina Grad]

Wow.

[Adam Carolla]

Yep.

[Gina Grad]

Bizarre. Well, here's a palate cleanser. Chicken cacciatore was today's offering. Something I love and. And really believe doesn't need to be spooned over pasta. I think it's pretty hearty as it is.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

So this was easy. I mean, for me, for me now for how I cook all the time.

[Brian Bishop]

You got it from complicated recipes.com youm know what?

[Gina Grad]

Let me rephrase that. Let me rephrase that. Oh, that was one of my pictures of it. It's easy because it's all in one pot. I think that that's how I measure if it's easy or not. I can't do 18 different saucepans going at once. I'm not wired that way. It's too hard. I don't like it when everything goes in one pot. To me, I'm like, oh, wow, that was easy. But it's still, you know, the chopping and the schlepping and whatever. So these are chicken thighs, which I think makes it a little more moist and flavorful. Just season them, salt and pepper, sear them just so they're kind of crispy, and then put them aside.

[Adam Carolla]

I got a thigh side that I'd like to put in. Lynette made lemon chicken the other Sunday night.

[Gina Grad]

Delish.

[Adam Carolla]

Delish. Got the sort of half drumsticks.

[Gina Grad]

Don't be a 1 upper, like I

[Adam Carolla]

said before, half thighs. I am very thigh oriented. And not so much with the drumstick. Maybe it's the phallic nature of it. That could be. I just.

[Gina Grad]

I don't shoving that in.

[Adam Carolla]

I like drumsticks when I was a kid, but as I got older, I liked the Thigh quite a bit more.

[Gina Grad]

And the thigh often overlooked.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. And so it was like 50, 50 thigh mix, because that's what came in the pack. Right. As I discussed it with Lynette. And so we had a bunch of kids come over and we ate everything and everything was delectable. And then the next night I was like, I'm having that lemon chicken again. And there was just drumsticks left. And I was like, olga, what'd you do with those thighs? She's like, I gave them to the kids. And I'm like, kids, like, they like drumsticks. And I was like, sonny, what do you like? He's like, I like a drumstick. I'm like, olga's.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, yeah, we got that bucket of KFT chicken as a kid. Go right over that drumstick.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Gina Grad]

Anyway. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

So the thighs, very flavorful. Yeah. So the great thing about the thigh, the thigh is sort of Vinnie Tortorich in his entire sort of gestalt and world and everything distilled down to a chicken part, which is we all used to do the skinless breast. It was like, oh, it's so dry and blah, blah, blah. But I want to do the right thing. And the thigh is so much more flavorful and the skin and everything else. And now you can be good and enjoy your thigh.

[Gina Grad]

Absolutely. So after we sear these, we just set them aside. We know they're not cooked. Don't worry about it. They'll get cooked. Toss in the vegetables. I use spinach, yellow bell pepper, because I take notes. Mushroom, onion. Notice that. Get that going with the seasonings. And then the holy trinity crushed tomato, heavy whipping cream, and a little bit of red wine that makes for a really delectable sauce. You put the whole thing in it.

[Brian Bishop]

Some red wine for the chicken, some for mama, some for Mama.

[Gina Grad]

You put the whole thing in an oven safe big casserole dish. You bake it so the chicken skin gets nice and crispy and everything's nice and braised and it's done. And I think people like it. And it's going to be featured on my new website. That's up. It's Grainfree comfort food dot com. And I think Kaylin's going to show it to you. I took all the pictures, I made all the food, I did all the recipes.

[Brian Bishop]

It looks like a real website.

[Adam Carolla]

Thank you. Really looks good.

[Gina Grad]

I'm really excited about it.

[Adam Carolla]

Let me do my Bewitched sitcom client from out of town who's flown in to look at Stevenson's new campaign in front Of Larry Tate. I don't like it. I love it. I love it. And then everyone goes nuts. No one ever speaks that way. No one speaks that way in real life.

[Brian Bishop]

I don't like it.

[Adam Carolla]

I love it. I love was like, that was the end of every sitcom in the 60s and 70s.

[Gina Grad]

Happy ending.

[Adam Carolla]

Must have been easier to write sitcoms back then. How do we end our sitcoms? I don't know how they end. Beverly Hillbillies last week. Okay, we'll do the granny fell in the pool. We don't have grandpa. Just find a grandma in the pool. I mean the cement pond. Sorry. Yes, it's delicious.

[Gina Grad]

Thank you. So I'm having a ton of fun doing this, and I'm still losing weight, thank God. And I'm really excited about this website. I've been working on it for a really long time. I love it.

[Brian Bishop]

Are all the recipes there?

[Gina Grad]

All the recipes are there. And even the bad ones? Even the bad ones. Thanks, Brian. I'm gonna keep churning those out. And you can sign up because I'm gonna have a newsletter. So sign [e-mail] and I'll shoot you a newsletter. And I'm excited. We'll see where this goes.

[Brian Bishop]

I joke, but please describe my plate.

[Gina Grad]

It is empty.

[Brian Bishop]

It is empty.

[Adam Carolla]

Don't he demolished.

[Brian Bishop]

I love that.

[Adam Carolla]

Demolish us. Yeah, it's really good.

[Gina Grad]

Thank you. I'm having fun.

[Adam Carolla]

Haley Joel Osman is here, so we'll bring him in in a second. Talk about the jacked Ted Bundy, by the way. And only talk about that somewhere up in heaven, Ted is smiling, seeing a ripped tribute.

[Brian Bishop]

A tribute.

[Adam Carolla]

There was one of the. When we. Anyone who rarely talk about Windy City Heat but should be brought up more. It should be brought up more. You guys. I don't even know where to find. Where do you find Windy City Heat anyway? I'd call it a cult classic, but not enough people have seen it.

[Brian Bishop]

But definition of a cult classic.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I know. But also a cult classic become popular over time. You have to be able to say to somebody the name of the cult classic, and they have to recognize it. But one of the scenes in Windy City Heat is we were telling Scary Perry, you need to demand, like, a double. Like a stunt double. You need a double. And we got this guy that was like £400. And, like, Perry was like, that's my double. Yeah, we got you a body double. It's like, this guy was morbidly obese, and he was like, that's not me. And they're like, yeah, sure, yeah. But found a guy. I mean, you know, from behind, you know, we can see. We can't see the face. And then he was like. So there was the first get the fat stunt double. And then the next part was turn the lovemaking scene. The double had to. Stunt double had to step in and make love to the girl. And he was like, what? And then he was like. And then at certain point, of course, he was like, get rid of the double. And they got rid of the double. And of course the next scene is him being thrown into a dumpster. Right. That's good fun.

[Brian Bishop]

You know, you might be onto something with the cult classic because it is not Even listed on JustWatch.com, the site that I use to find where things are streaming. And that's a deep dive. If you're not on there.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, I mean, they have stuff on there that no one's ever.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you can't find the movie, I did find that it's apparently on YouTube, its entirety. So if you want to head on over there, apparently for free, type it into YouTube.

[Adam Carolla]

There's 19 DVDs available on Amazon. So it says, max Zapata, own your own. All right, Haley Joel is here. We'll bring him in in one. Tell you first about Castrol Edge. Stronger under pressure. Castrol Edge with fluid. Titanium transforms under pressure. Keep the metal parts away from each other. And fighting that power, robbing friction. It is three times. Three times, fool. Stronger than leading full synthetics against viscosity breakdown, as per the Kurt Orban Test of 5W30 viscosity. Great. So they went against the other full synthetics, and it is three times stronger. Castrol Edge, y'.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

All.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, we shall bring Haley Joel in here. Take a quick break. We'll be right back with Haley. The Adam Carolla show celebrates a decade of podcasting. What's up, ace?

[Gina Grad]

Adam Ray here.

[Adam Carolla]

Just want to congratulate you, man, on 10 years of podcasting. Holy shit. What an achievement, bro. Here's a little something extra special. You earned it. Make it your new desktop screensaver. Holiday card. Whatever. Look, 10 years is a long time. I haven't even been having sex for 10 years, so I can't imagine what it's like to put in that effort day in and day out and become one of the best in your field, which you truly have become. There's nobody better. As Tony Danza once said on the last episode of who's the Boss? You know, it's not about how long you do something. It's about, it's about what you do with what you're doing. And that's what makes what you do how you do it, you know, because it's you're doing, you know, I fucking, I don't remember, man. But the point is, congrats. 10 years. What a run. I can't wait for another 10, you know, or maybe just 12. But good job. Now back to the Adam Carolla Show. Haley Joel Osment in studio. The movies, it's, it's not really the Ted Bundy story. It's more about his wife. Yes, that's right. Yeah. They've seen, I mean, imagine the person married to this person. So I'm going to take a deep dive into this.

[Gina Grad]

Oh my God, it's exciting.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right. That's Lynette.

[Gina Grad]

Poor Lynette.

[Adam Carolla]

Poor Lynette married to a monster. She told me.

[Gina Grad]

The monster next door.

[Adam Carolla]

She told me to tell Lady Gaga she's Italian tonight.

[Gina Grad]

It's helpful.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't think Gaga is an Italian last name.

[Gina Grad]

Germanata.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. This half brought to you by Brother Inkvestment Tank printer. And I'll tell you about that in a second. Simply safe as well. And geico. Go to geico.com. so Haley, the Ted Bundy thing is a, it's a really interesting story because he got away with a lot. Probably because he had a very good, good look and it worked on people.

[Brian Bishop]

Ripped.

[Adam Carolla]

He was a horrible, horrible guy. And he didn't prey on like runaway prostitutes or anything. He'd just go find 14 year old girls that were walking home from school and do horrible things to them. Did you have to? I mean, you're too young to remember Ted Bundy, but did you have to get coached up on him?

[Haley Joel Osment]

I remember reading a lot about him when they finally caught the Green River Killer and they had interviewed Ted Bundy trying to figure out how to catch this other guy. And that I think was the inspiration for the Hannibal Lecter, cluttery starling relationship in Silence of the Lambs.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh really?

[Haley Joel Osment]

So that was like 2003. And I remember reading a lot about him back then. But now after shooting this movie and seeing that four part documentary on Netflix which was directed by Joe Berlinger as well, who did our movie. Yeah, I feel like I know too much about this guy now.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, There's a thing we do that I always kind of talk about which kids do it and humans do it as well. It's my sort of. You look at George Clooney and you go, that's the guy I went flying my airplane. That guy looks like he can really fly an airplane. And you go, what? Just because he's got a good jawline doesn't mean he's good at flying an airplane.

[Gina Grad]

What about Paul Giamatti?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, right. And the reality is just Paul probably had to work a little harder and spend more time in the simulator because he was, wasn't getting blown on a waterbed. So he's actually probably better qualified. Ted Bundy had a look like, oh, that guy wouldn't do anything to anybody. And we go so much off of that.

[Haley Joel Osment]

Yeah, he really knew how to exploit that. And even to the point where I think the people who get the benefit of the doubt. The judge complimented him on his abilities as a lawyer. He was a terrible representative of himself and always helped the prosecution because he was such an arrogant narcissist. He sabotaged his case constantly because he wanted to hear details of his crimes repeated in the courtroom. So, yeah, it's pretty amazing how far he got. And had he not jumped out the window of the courthouse in Aspen, he probably would have been acquitted in that first trial.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

And then who knows?

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, really?

[Haley Joel Osment]

Yeah, the evidence was not good for a lot of these things. And ironically, the trial that he was convicted at in Florida, the bite mark comparisons that they used, is now considered to be something of pseudoscience. So even that was not really on firm ground, even though he, he was definitely guilty.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, there's a couple parts of the case that I've always been aware of that I've always enjoyed, which is. Right, well, first off, he got executed and I'm glad that he's not just right on his fifth book and third marriage and ninth kid out of death row. I'm glad we just killed him. But also at the end when they were gonna take him to the electric chair, he said like, oh, I got more cases, I got more stuff, I can tell you. And they're like, we got, we're good, we're gonna kill you. Which I just like the notion that he was trying to bargain at the end. And they went, nah, we're killing you.

[Haley Joel Osment]

Anyway, he tried to blame pornography in like that last interview, you know, was just sort of looking for every angle possible to, you know, to stay alive. And that interview that he does with Jim Dobson is just so depressing to watch, cuz he's, he's trying to pass off, you know, almost 100 murders it's estimated on, you know, old detective magazines that he found in the trash. Right.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, you you murder school age girls. That's one thing. You blame pornography.

[Brian Bishop]

We've got a problem.

[Adam Carolla]

Now you've crossed the line. I was willing to look the other way, but you besmirched pornography. Now.

[Brian Bishop]

Now we got an issue.

[Adam Carolla]

Now we got a real issue. This is a problem all day. The greatest sign ever is the guy who's out front of the prison. And it says, I don't know what days that. That Tuesday is Friday, spelled with a Y. Ted Bundy. He's selling shirts. I burn.

[Gina Grad]

Bundy burn.

[Adam Carolla]

It's Friday. It's F, R, Y.

[Haley Joel Osment]

Give some of the shirts to the girls out there.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, Tuesday is Friday. I hope he went to the electric chair, because if it was lethal injection. I still like where this guy's coming from.

[Gina Grad]

But the message is off.

[Brian Bishop]

That's what Sean Payton was doing for his coaching the Saints.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, my God.

[Adam Carolla]

He's got a very, very Sean Payton side by side. Sean Payton with a shag. With selling shirts before he did the.

[Brian Bishop]

The Saints.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. So Tuesday's Friday.

[Haley Joel Osment]

Wow.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know. Who do we. Gina Graf.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Who do we feel more sorry for as a spouse?

[Gina Grad]

Lynette.

[Adam Carolla]

Lynette. She's always in all the above. She's luxuriating in a mansion somewhere. Now I want you to really break it down, okay. Do you feel more sorry for Ted Bundy's wife or more sorry for the wife of the guy who's going out front of the prison on Tuesday to sell T shirts he made up in the basement?

[Gina Grad]

Okay. Okay, Fair.

[Adam Carolla]

Cause that guy's not independently wealthy and is a crusader for justice. That guy is trying to make $77 on a Tuesday out front of the prison.

[Gina Grad]

He's clearly not providing for. For me or my family, so that's rough.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know if he's going out in front of the super bowl or Cal Jam or other big events that are going Lilith Fair. Maybe there's more. He can't just wait for people on death row. That happens once every four years.

[Gina Grad]

It's a whole knockoff empire.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Gina Grad]

As much as I feel horrible for Ted Bundy's wife and what she endured and what those poor victims endured. You make a valid point for this

[Adam Carolla]

guy, I think for the wife.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

What you're getting is, you know, you're getting. It's. It's like he's cheating on you. So you're getting flowers, you know, like these. Maybe overcompensating a little at home for all the horror he's Raining out. Whereas this guy comes home, cracks bud tall boy and backhands his woman, tells

[Gina Grad]

me to go clean something with a T shirt. He didn't stop.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right.

[Brian Bishop]

To take that point even farther with Ted Bundy's wife, the nightmare is over at some point. You know what I mean?

[Adam Carolla]

This guy's wife never ends.

[Brian Bishop]

Every day just like the other.

[Adam Carolla]

Thank you for that honest answer, Gina Gray. Sure.

[Gina Grad]

Well, you make a compelling point. What am I supposed to do?

[Adam Carolla]

Well, what was. How was. How did Ted treat his wife?

[Haley Joel Osment]

This was crazy. She called the police and said she suspected him in 1974 and then stayed married to him after that. So it crossed her mind that it was possible that he did it. And she. And there's an interview with her and the police from back then, but then he, you know, strung her along for another several years, all the while, you know, impregnating this other woman while he was in prison. And just, you know. Yeah, it's kind of remarkable that she stayed with him for as long as she did.

[Gina Grad]

But if you think of somebody as charming and manipulative and insane as Ted Bundy and you live there, you're in the house. And it would be so far fetched to believe, my husband's doing this. You could tell yourself anything and stay in that marriage forever.

[Haley Joel Osment]

Yeah. The denial that you have to do. Used her apartment to dispose of bodies and all sorts of things that she.

[Adam Carolla]

Later, she's still alive and single. Because I'll tell you where the angle. I'm working here. I get a lot of, you know, Lynette does a lot of. We went down Irvine for Natalia's marathon volleyball tournament. A lot of the other dads were there, you weren't. So we get. That's it. But if I. If I get hooked up with this one, I can go, hey, not Ted Bundy. The bar is very low. You know what I mean? Like, let's forget about the volleyball tournaments. That's. That's a distant second to dismembering people in the apartment.

[Gina Grad]

I'm your white shining armor.

[Adam Carolla]

This is the C minus student. If you have a younger sister who's straight A's, you're screwed. If you have an older brother who's in juvie, you're on easy street. Right. It could be like, Kurt, come on. Come on. So if she's single and looking to

[Gina Grad]

mingle, send her Adams away.

[Haley Joel Osment]

She's in an undisclosed location, so it might be a challenge.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I'll find her. I'll use a divining rod between my legs. So she's still alive?

[Haley Joel Osment]

She is, yeah. And I believe his daughter is alive as well. A lot of people, I mean, it was 40 years ago now, and a lot of people are still around. We actually had one of the television reporters in Denver do a part in the movie, and he tells the story where he was walking down the hall of the court and he heard a voice go like, hey, Ward. He looked at it and Ted Bundy, like, had watched TV and knew who he was. And then when he escaped later, it probably didn't feel too good that he knew his name.

[Adam Carolla]

So he was just complete sociopath. Right. Like he's kind of guy or psycho. Yeah, well, I don't. I'm trying to think of the definition of both, but he would have liked to have shot up a school in 2019 or nightclub or something to get his name on to something, onto a body count or what?

[Gina Grad]

Well, and sociopaths don't feel remorse.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. They do things without thinking of other societies, just themselves. Obviously it's not this psycho ass attack. And then a lot more.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Gina Grad]

He doubled down.

[Haley Joel Osment]

The notoriety was definitely pretty important to him at the end. And I think that had as much to do with him talking, finally admitting to the body count as much as he was trying to save himself from the chair. I think he wanted people to know the extent of what he did, too.

[Adam Carolla]

What do we think the number is?

[Haley Joel Osment]

I think they estimate like between 70 and 100, but it's just impossible to know because even a lot of the women that he admitted to killing, their bodies were never found because he went into such remote areas of the Washington Mountains.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Did.

[Adam Carolla]

Do we know? Like, so you try to. You look at this and you go, well, let's see if we can avoid creating more Ted Bundys. Do we know about his past? Was he molested? Was he abused? You know, was it broken? Family? Was there some sort of craziness or is it just pure nature?

[Haley Joel Osment]

It reminds me that fantasy that Alex has in A Clockwork Orange where he imagines himself dressed up as a Roman soldier, like slaughtering people. I think just in a large population, occasionally you have these sort of people who are just uncontrollable killers and they tried to find some inciting incident like that. And the closest thing to it was that he found out as a young man that he was an illegitimate child and he didn't know who his father was, and that upset him. But it's hard to see that motivating his. You know, he might have killed as young as when he was 14, there was a girl who went missing in his town. His aunt had a story of waking up and when he was a toddler, and he had surrounded her with knives from the kitchen. So it seemed like. Seems like something that was there from the very beginning.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, well, it's also a very sort of humanistic way to try to solve a problem. Like, we go, was he abused? Did his stepdad ignore him? You know, and it's like, I kind of tell that. I always think about that with. There's two examples. One is like, people go, oh, why does this guy have a sense of humor? There's so much pain and there's so much anguish, and now they have a sense of humor. It's like, there's tons of pain, tons of anguish. Not a whole lot of Jerry Seinfeld out there. Like, if there was a direct, the open mic line at the Improv would go round the block every Sunday night. If the threshold for one to being funny was, I have anguish, or I was ignored or I had a bad childhood, that'd be everybody. So it's not that. It's. You have a sense of humor, and it's not that you're a killer. Otherwise, everyone from every broken family would just go on a killing spree. Right. It's a weird. The one thing I always. I didn't give Danny Bonaduce a ton of, hey, man, you're right. But. But he always said, you know, they always make fun of, well, maybe this will work for you, Haley. They're always digging into child stars and, like, have that gone wrong and blah, blah, blah. And I was like, think about everyone you went to high school with who became a drug addict or busted for this or did all that. Like, yeah, everyone I went to high school with at some point, got arrested at some point and got thrown in, whatever. So maybe it's just. That's the ratio. We just know this. Child actors that go wrong.

[Haley Joel Osment]

Yeah, I think. I think that's it exactly.

[Brian Bishop]

Or take all the kids you went to junior high with and put them on the COVID of Tiger Beat and give them, you know, half a million dollars and see how well they turn

[Adam Carolla]

if they go wrong. Yeah, yeah. Chances are that's right. Name them, Corey, and see what happens. All right, let me tell.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

There he is.

[Adam Carolla]

There he is.

[Haley Joel Osment]

Oh, my God. Wow.

[Brian Bishop]

Gina.

[Adam Carolla]

I still say the kid from the Christmas Story, Ralphie. Oh, Ralph.

[Brian Bishop]

Peter Bellingham.

[Adam Carolla]

Him.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, Sean Payton. I thought you meant the guy with the sign.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, since they're the same dude, don't ruin your own argument, Brian. I'm saying you're right. God damn it. Oh, my.

[Haley Joel Osment]

Wow.

[Gina Grad]

There he is. The progression of Ralphie.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, tell August to book that guy for next week. I want to know those T shirts are going Friday guy. And the chick who sings a Friday song, what happened to her? Rebecca Black?

[Gina Grad]

She's around.

[Brian Bishop]

Actually.

[Gina Grad]

She was just on Conway the other night.

[Adam Carolla]

That was a test. And you just failed. Damn it. Screamed her name out before I finished my sentence. It was so hot. I mean. Oh, no. All right, let me tell you about Brother Inkvestment tank printer. It happens to us all the time. And no Moss, I say those ink printers running out of ink. Tired of the frequent expensive hassle of replacing the ink cartridge. Yes, this includes are insanely expensive Brothers Ink Vestment tank printers. Internal ink storage tank. So it has you fill it up. Like fill it up a car. Imagine if you get a cartridge of gasoline for your car every time. How expensive that'd be? Larger ink cartridges, an intelligent page gauge to display ink levels. It is literally going to change the way you ink. See what I did there? The color inkjet all in one. Printers deliver convenience, low cost per page, and affordability. Yes, especially when you have kids like I do, and they're doing their homework stuff, and they're just printing stuff out all day. So they have uninterrupted printing with up to two years of ink included in box. Do not sweat over your printer running out of ink anymore. Learn [e-mail] skip one of these bad boys and join us here in modern times. How do you know the name of this person? Brian. This is a pretty big.

[Brian Bishop]

You guys. This is a pretty big deal.

[Gina Grad]

It was the Art Music Factory.

[Adam Carolla]

I did not know her name.

[Brian Bishop]

Also because she's kind of still around. I just saw her. Yeah, like on Twitter.

[Gina Grad]

She hasn't.

[Brian Bishop]

New album.

[Gina Grad]

She's promoting.

[Haley Joel Osment]

She does. What other days does she talk about?

[Gina Grad]

Which can I take?

[Adam Carolla]

It's Friday, by the way.

[Brian Bishop]

People want to know the difference between a tool tune and a guilty pleasure. This is a guilty pleasure. If you like this song.

[Adam Carolla]

It's bad. That's right. Friday. Tuesday's Friday. Yes.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

This is it.

[Adam Carolla]

This is bad. Yeah. So this is not a tool tune. Oh, no, no.

[Brian Bishop]

This guy.

[Adam Carolla]

It's a bad song, but if you

[Brian Bishop]

like it, own it. It's a guilty pleasure.

[Adam Carolla]

How about My Barbie Girl Living in a Barbie World?

[Brian Bishop]

That's a tool tune. That's a great song. No, that's a legit Good song.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, we're not calling. We're calling that a tool tune.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, Dawson just threw up in his beard. Just said it was a good song. It's a horrible song.

[Gina Grad]

It's not just a novelty song to you, Brian. It's so much more

[Adam Carolla]

defend. Let's go party.

[Brian Bishop]

I got no problem with this song.

[Adam Carolla]

I have no problem with it either, but I don't. Wouldn't lump it in with Peter Cetera's song.

[Brian Bishop]

It's a different. It's a different breed.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know. I think you define the tool tune versus guilty pleasure. Guilty pleasure. I. I think this is in the guilty pleasure department.

[Gina Grad]

This is like a fever dream.

[Brian Bishop]

I can't hear you guys.

[Adam Carolla]

And then. And then where does. Push your little daisies and make them come up. Where does that. I don't know.

[Brian Bishop]

I don't know. Is that fish?

[Adam Carolla]

No, we.

[Brian Bishop]

I don't know if we.

[Haley Joel Osment]

Sounds like a fish.

[Brian Bishop]

I don't know if we can have a tool soon. They're just kind of hipster.

[Adam Carolla]

That's a. That's a third weird category. That's.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. I don't know. I can't. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, let's see.

[Gina Grad]

That was upsetting.

[Brian Bishop]

Why.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Sorry.

[Adam Carolla]

Why is Forrest Gump on my. My screen? Max. Pat.

[Haley Joel Osment]

Oh, just. I just put in talking points.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, I.

[Brian Bishop]

Like. You mentioned. I was just naming songs.

[Adam Carolla]

Forrest Gump. I love Forrest Gump. I love.

[Brian Bishop]

You're like Larry King, Pay it Forward. AI, Artificial intelligence.

[Adam Carolla]

My daughter. You have a daughter named Lords. That was his friend. That was. That was Larry at his best saying, madonna, talk to your daughter Lords.

[Gina Grad]

Or when he asked Jerry Seinfeld, are you an actor who's a comedian or a comedian who's an actor?

[Adam Carolla]

I love it. I did love that movie. Obviously, you were four when you did that movie, so there was no way to. There's no way for you to know what you were involved with.

[Haley Joel Osment]

To an extent.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Yeah.

[Haley Joel Osment]

But it was such a huge operation. It really, like.

[Adam Carolla]

No, I know. I mean, should stick in your memory. But I think of that movie. It's rare that movies. In my opinion, movies are big in commercial and sort of groundbreaking. As a matter of fact, getting back to the Oscars, I like more of these movies and less sort of Moonlights in terms of, like, I don't like the weird Little Diddy slice of life. That's fine. But not for that. For best film of the year. Epic. That's what I'm saying. I kind of miss the. The epic. And I just thought that that movie was just groundbreaking. When I. When it first came out, I saw it in the theater. When you were four and a half over here in Glendale, you. You were in the, like, La Crescenta, Glendale, La Canada area?

[Haley Joel Osment]

Yeah. Went to high school in La Canada and grew up until I was like 12 in Glendale itself. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Did you go to. To the same high school? So my kids have a junior high and the high school's attached to it.

[Brian Bishop]

Is.

[Haley Joel Osment]

Do they go to Flintridge up there?

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know. Locking you out of lcs.

[Brian Bishop]

Don't answer this for him. Don't look at your producer for what school your kids go to.

[Gina Grad]

Embarrassing for you.

[Adam Carolla]

Listen, it looks at. Chris, look, screw them. They just got. They just raffled off a tour of my garage for 2,500 bucks. What do I need to remember them for? They need to remember my name. Baseman. That's name. You should be on all your lips over there. What school my school go to? What's Its Face Academy.

[Brian Bishop]

That's who imaginative gives a rat's ass.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. I don't know. Is it there by jpl? Yeah, right there. Oh, that's there.

[Haley Joel Osment]

It's like that weird little cluster where it's like Sacred Heart, St. Francis, LCHS, and Flint Ridge on that same block.

[Adam Carolla]

That's their school. Yeah. Yeah, that's the school my daughter isn't at today. And my son is not learning anything while he's out there. So you were a celebrity when you went there, right?

[Haley Joel Osment]

I guess, yeah, it was, you know, that was after the Sixth Sense and AI had come out. But the nice thing about it was that it was like, pretty much the same group of kids for like, six straight years. So it didn't really have any effect on that community. I was still an awkward teenager who had very little success with the ladies.

[Adam Carolla]

You made a nice transition. The child actor. Oh, that's the guy from. You know. I don't know. You guys, answer me. Riddle me this. You tell me. I'm gonna load it a little bit. But you tell me, it used to be that. Oh, that guy does tv. Can't do movies. Come on. And now you do tv, you do movies, you do everything. It used to be like, hey, if you were little buddy from Gilligan's island, we can't have you in our movie. You're Bob Denver, your little buddy. We've sort of opened it up. Like, we opened up the TV to movies or movies to tv. And like, all right, we recognize that guy from that movie. But now he's in the and she's an adult, and they can act in our thing as well. Does it seem more open? Was there a period where you felt like, I can't transition and now it's a different climate, or. You tell me.

[Haley Joel Osment]

I'd say when I was in high school, there was still that kind of divide. Like, you wouldn't want to take a television show because, yeah, it would establish you as only being in that line of work. And now, yeah, it's just wide open with streaming now. I think there's 465 new shows produced last year. And it's just. I don't know what is going to happen to the industry when there's just so much content all the time.

[Adam Carolla]

How about the transition from child actor to adult, which you've made nicely, but I don't know if those doors. I feel like we're a little more arms folded. Twenty years ago, that's that young kid from that movie. He's not gonna be in our adult show.

[Haley Joel Osment]

Yeah, it's crazy, you know, and it. I knew it was gonna take a lot of years, but it took working a lot, I think, to kind of not have those movies be the first thing, you know, you think about when you see my name on something. But I also kind of enjoyed it.

[Adam Carolla]

Ca.

[Haley Joel Osment]

Right out of college, I did some roles where a lot of people when I was in Entourage were like, oh, I didn't even realize it was you. And as an actor, that's really fun when you can kind of sneak into things and people don't exactly know what they're looking at quite yet.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. I enjoyed your role in the theatrical version as Billy Bob Thornton. Sort of weenie, super weenie, super wiener son.

[Gina Grad]

Is that how you describe the role?

[Haley Joel Osment]

Yes. They're like, he's a real weenie. We. It can up some of that weenie quality.

[Adam Carolla]

It was fun. All right, let me tell you about Simplisafe, and we'll take a break. We'll do some news. Simplisafe. No one should feel unsafe at home, period. So how do you put a price on that? Well, it's inexpensive. With Simplisafe. Simplisafe, they have a mission. The mission is safety for you and your home. And it blankets your home and safety around the clock. Professional monitoring makes sure police are on the way when you need them. The Verge calls Simplisafe the best home security. And it's a wire cutter, top pick. We all use it here. Peel and stick up and running in under an hour. Go online, put your. Put your Kit together. Find out how many sensors you need for how many windows or motion sensors or whatever you need. Put it all together. Peel and stick. No pulling wires up and running in under an hour. Shows up on your front door. Batteries last up to 10 years. Protect your home today. Free shipping. It's simply safe. Two eyes in there. Simply safe dot com. Adam. All right, quick break. Come back with hailing the news right after this. Give me the news with Grat. News with Gino grad. Breaking viral. All those crazy Trump tweets. Give me news with Gina grad. Trouble in the Middle east. Celebrity drunk Mel down. The news with Gina grad.

[Gina Grad]

Well, now that Michael Jackson is back in the news, the one time Neverland Ranch of the late pop star is returning to the market for a massive price reduction. It was 100 million asking price in 2015. Now it's just a mere 31 million. Meanwhile, realtors say the property didn't show well because of the driver.

[Adam Carolla]

I have a thought.

[Gina Grad]

But that's not all.

[Adam Carolla]

We're now living in a time where this could be a good job for me. Dead celebrities require publicists.

[Haley Joel Osment]

Oh, yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

The estate.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

I just mean like, literally publicists. Like, hey, we got to get out front of this whole John Wayne interview thing.

[Brian Bishop]

Like represent the estate.

[Adam Carolla]

He's been dead for 37 years. Yeah, we got to get out in front of this story. Someone's got to make a statement. We. We have to get Avatar to make. Hey, pilgrim. I like pilgrims of all colors. Like, they really like. This guy's being charged with molestation. This guy's being charged with being a racist. Like you need a publicist for after you're dead.

[Gina Grad]

There's no resting in peace.

[Adam Carolla]

I never thought about that.

[Gina Grad]

You're right.

[Adam Carolla]

I wonder who's going to be my after death publicist. Oof.

[Gina Grad]

That's a lot of work. Well, this, they say it had a little to do with the drought.

[Adam Carolla]

Michael Jackson kind of needs a publicist.

[Gina Grad]

And how. Yeah, also there's. There was. I don't know if you remember, but there was a little controversy about him molesting kids. And now the documentary's coming to HBO.

[Adam Carolla]

Got to get out ahead of it.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah. $70 million price reduction.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Oh, man.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Don't you guys look? Neverland Ranch is every. I always say, like, everything's sort of like the Batmobile. If you physically see the Batmobile from the 60s show, you'll walk up on it and go, come on. Looks stupid. That's not real. You know, I mean, like, when that's Your Neverland. It's gonna be that way. Like a bad carpet, bad panel.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, that's like a bunch of animals hanging from the chandelier.

[Haley Joel Osment]

Those statues, those creepy statues you filled the home with.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

If you've ever seen the game room of Playboy Mansion.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

Orange carpet.

[Brian Bishop]

Everything cool about the. The. Well, the mansion and also Neverland. Rich. I mentioned stuff in the house. The collectibles, the games, the whatever. Take all that stuff out. It's just a weird ranch up in the middle.

[Adam Carolla]

This looks like the 70s. It's weird because the game room at the Playboy Mansion is just bad carpet with way too much padding and a very, very bad 70s kind of thing. And it's like sunken beds. Yeah. And it is. There's sort of two things. One side of it is. One side of it is sort of like, oh, I guess it should be this way. And then the other point is you'd want to redo it.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah. An update every 10 years.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. All right.

[Brian Bishop]

Like, half of his girlfriends dead every 10 years.

[Gina Grad]

Absolutely. Well, the doctor who prescribed anti anxiety meds to Chris Cornell says the Soundgarden singer was well aware of the risks involving taking those drugs. His doctor, Robert Koblin, he's requested that the wrongful death suit filed by Cornell's widow, Vicki Cornell, be dismissed before it goes to trial. The blast reports that Copeland has denied the allegations that he overprescribed Ativan before Cornell's suicide in May of 2017. And he adds that he' I didn't know this. Covered by a malpractice law that protects doctors when a death occurs as a result of a patient's ongoing disease or condition. The doctor also claims that Cornell was asked not to be informed of all the risks with taking anti anxiety medication. Whether that's true or not, I don't know.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, we'll have to ask this publicist.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, I was going to say.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, exactly.

[Adam Carolla]

We need them.

[Gina Grad]

You're very good way to get in front of that.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. He's one of those guys where people liked him whether he was alive, but then when he died, they loved him. Everyone just went nuts. He's my favorite. He's the greatest. Whatever. He's so rock and roll. And I was like, okay, a little more of this when he's alive. Maybe he'll kill himself next time.

[Gina Grad]

And Vicky, his wife, was actually at Capitol Hill on Monday talking about the opioid crisis because obviously she has. She had a lot of experience with that and how it's a brain disease. And how we need to. And that's the thing I don't understand. Didn't Trump declare war or whatever we do on the opioid crisis? Isn't there a lot more attention and money going to that now? Or does that.

[Haley Joel Osment]

Kellyanne's supposed to be on it, but I don't know what she's done so far. Her and a 24 year old kid who worked on the campaign in Tennessee who I'm sure has a lot of great ideas.

[Gina Grad]

I'm sure they'll get back to you.

[Haley Joel Osment]

Solve this crisis.

[Adam Carolla]

We are living it is a recipe for disaster because people are sort of turning on themselves, spending way too much time looking at screens and phones and arguing with people via Twitter. We've never met before. The pill. It's funny, when I was a young boy, the notion of the future was a pill, but it was a food pill. Like it was like, you're gonna eat.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, sounds like a nightmare.

[Adam Carolla]

What is this pill? That's turkey and stuffing. Like it was stupid. Like that could. No, that's never gonna happen. But the pill pillow. Take the pill and you know, so the mood is completely scrambled and altered by staring at a screen. You know, physiologically. And I'm not, you know, I'm not chicken little. Like, oh, you spend too much time in front of the screen. Your eyes, you'll get eyeball cancer or something like that. But physiologically, staring at a screen for 11 hours a day, probably not physiologically great. There's something going on and, and then psychologically not great. And then somehow the pill's gonna ease the pain a little bit. Like, we gotta get back to the cabin people. We gotta get back some. We gotta take an ax and start chopping wood. Like we gotta get back to it a little bit. Cause the pill, I think the pill and the screen are kinda going hand in hand. Yes.

[Gina Grad]

And I've seen recently the best and quickest way to show that example is you put a toddler in front of the TV and their mood setting and they're demanding and they're cranky and they're angry. You turn the TV off, you go play. And it's a different kid. I mean, I see it every two hours if he's watching a movie or if he's not. It's a completely different child.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. And we are going to make a decision. What are you talking about? It's my son. The path of least resistance is where we're going. And that's not the best path, but that's where we will go. And that's to the screen and to the pill.

[Gina Grad]

Well, speaking of drugs, a South Carolina man who went viral after he bought

[Adam Carolla]

every single Chris Cornell documentary. Oh, well, not a documentary, but. Oh. Oh, yes. Oh, documentary. Sorry. By Brad Pitt. Not starring Brad Pitt, as I misread. Sorry. And Pete Berg. Pete Berg, director.

[Gina Grad]

Wait, how is Brad Pitt involved?

[Adam Carolla]

He's directing, I think.

[Haley Joel Osment]

Yeah, they both are working on it. They just announced it this month that they're making a Chris Cornell documentary.

[Adam Carolla]

I love Pete Berg, but he's nuts. Talked to him once, I called him and I'm like, where are you, Pete? He's like, I'm at sea. I'm like, where are you? He's like, I'm on a sailboat. I'm like, what are you doing? I'm riding the movie Battleship. I'm like, okay, can't you do that from land? He's like, not. Not me. Okay.

[Haley Joel Osment]

Terrence Malick wanted to walk across the entire Southwest before he started writing Thin Red Line. He had to walk across the Southwest.

[Brian Bishop]

He should have kept walk.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. All right. Well, there you go.

[Gina Grad]

Well, a South Carolina man who went viral after he bought every single box of cookies from a Girl Scout troop in order to get them out of the cold is now in jail.

[Brian Bishop]

It's great.

[Gina Grad]

It's so great. Dietrich McGowan was called an amazing soul after he handed the girls $540 and told them, pack up your cookies, I'm taking them all so you can go home and get out of the cold. The photo he took went viral role. Everybody loved him. And also the police recognized him as a big drug dealer.

[Brian Bishop]

I was going to say they've been

[Gina Grad]

looking after, trying to get. McGowan was arrested Tuesday by the DEA and charged with unlawful possession of heroin, cocaine and fentanyl with the intent to distribute. He's accused of running an operation to import drugs from Mexico. The arrest was the culmination of a long running investigation and also netted 10 other arrests. No good deed goes unpunished.

[Brian Bishop]

Palados of Moas.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah.

[Gina Grad]

Jason Momoa. Samoas.

[Adam Carolla]

Did you see those? They sold out. Really?

[Gina Grad]

Yep, they sold out.

[Adam Carolla]

Can I say this? I've been thinking about the Girl Scout cookies and the Girl Scout cookies kind of serve two purposes. One is they want to raise money for the Girl Scouts. And then the other thing is you want to teach the young girls the entrepreneurial spirit. Having your dad show up and walk the halls of Jimmy Kimmel Live. Essentially make him into a coyote slash drug mule and have him just walk up to everyone's desk and hit them up and shaking them down, you know, you go, good, give me three. The peanut butter chocolate. And they go, oh, just three. Gonna put you down for a case. Yeah, Cousin Sal bought a case up the way. And then go, all right, screw it. Put me down for a case of the peanut butter whatever. And then you just sell 500 units of girl scout cookies and then just go home. I don't know if that was that. Teaching her a valuable lesson. And by the way, let me tell you something, sweetheart, that's not how life works. You just dispatch your dad to go somewhere and go get the money and bring it back. Bring it back to you. I don't like that. My feeling is, go sell your cookies, but don't. Don't take your dad or mom and deputize them. And then give us the whole guilt trip at work where they show up and you know the money's going for the. What can I put you down for? And then name all the other people who bought more than you're willing to buy. Yep.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, you're right. And on Facebook, when you scroll through every girl I know, every woman says, my daughter selling. And it's so much easier now. You can just go to her link. Go to her link. And I run it and just sign up. It's just. So they're not even getting off the couch.

[Brian Bishop]

I was gonna say it's part of the.

[Adam Carolla]

It's part of the.

[Brian Bishop]

Were you a girl scout?

[Gina Grad]

No, I was a campfire girl.

[Brian Bishop]

It's part of the process, though, right? Get out there, pound the pavement or set up a stand or do whatever. It's part of the.

[Gina Grad]

Didn't your elementary school make you sell a summer sausage and cheese?

[Brian Bishop]

Some version of that. We sold idea. No, no, not that.

[Gina Grad]

But we saw, like, generalized anxiety disorder. I thought I was gonna die.

[Brian Bishop]

We were going door to door doing it or something.

[Haley Joel Osment]

They had to sell magazines in a public school. I was like, how this company seems like it's doing something illegal, Deputizing kindergartners to sell magazines.

[Gina Grad]

Trash bags for boy Scouts.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah. I had the weird little chocolate. The chocolate sort of bricks. You know, the ones that are shaped kind of like a little gold ingot. Or not ingot, but like a gold bar. Yeah, like a bar. Had a couple almonds in there. Come in a little cardboard case with 12, and then they give you a little miniature envelope to put the money in and then fold the money and stuff it into. There's no medium sized manila envelope. They got big and they got miniature. They don't have a medium one. And they'd have to stuff it in there. And I had. I couldn't sell things to people. Like, there was something wrong with my personality where, like, I couldn't go to people and go, hey, it's a dollar for a candy bar. Because back then, candy bars were, like, 50. It seemed, like, overpriced. And my house didn't have any food and certainly no sweets. So I would stare at that brick of candy bars and be like, I'm just gonna eat half of the one. I'd have the one. And at some point, it just. We'd get to the end of the thing for the East Valley Trojans. Pee wee football. And my Envelope would have $3, and the box would have one and a half candy bars in it. And they were trying to, like, make the math work. They're like, okay, they're nine and a half candy bars that you've not. We only have $3.

[Gina Grad]

Who's dipping in the tin?

[Adam Carolla]

How do we make this work? And that was always the problem. And there's always some ass wipe who sold the most and, like, got a Schwinn Stingray or something. Yes. Parents, stop helping your kids do this. Let them get their little Radio Flyer and go down the corner.

[Gina Grad]

Do it themselves.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Hopefully Ted Bundy won't swing by in a VW van. Hopefully. God willing.

[Gina Grad]

Adam, I think this is after your time, but Hayley and Brian, did you guys have book it? When you. Or when you read enough books, you got a personal pan pizza?

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Gina Grad]

I never got one because I never read. I wasn't a voracious reader.

[Adam Carolla]

You guys didn't. You guys dodged a whole green. Oh, God. God. RW Whatever. Green stamps or blue stamps or the green stamps I've told you guys about, you get the just a weird. I don't know who came up with this. Max Patiokin. I think they're called Green. Green stamps. It was initial. Anyway, you fill up a tank of gas, you get 10 stamps. They came like postage stamps, kind of stuffed together and perforated. And you went to the supermarket and you spent more than $20, you get 10 stamps. I don't know how they worked it out, but that's how they worked it out. And then you take them all home and put them in a book. And, you know, each booklet had 100 stamps. And if you got 20 booklets, you could get a kayak or a tent. It was S and W. Green stamps. S and H. Oh, S and H. Sorry.

[Gina Grad]

A lot of work.

[Adam Carolla]

An H. It kind of looks like a W. Green Stamps. And you just hash them in and get some stupid thing that you couldn't use, like a lantern or something. And I don't know how it worked or why work, but it was a big deal for poor people when I was. When I was young. All right, go ahead.

[Gina Grad]

All right, well, Fox News reports that 3 Sonic Drive in locations in Ohio are without employees after the entire staff of each one staged walkouts this week to protest new management. According to reports, Circleville, Lancaster, and Grove City have all experienced complete walkouts after the fast food stores were purchased by new ownership, which they did not like, according to an Ohio news outlet.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I boycotted Sonic because I don't like those gay dudes that are just parked out front of there eating their chili dog all day long, talking about eating their Frosties and blizzards and stuff. I don't approve. I got kids.

[Brian Bishop]

You have better things to do.

[Adam Carolla]

It's a weird message to send. A couple of gay fellas just sitting in the parking lot loafing.

[Brian Bishop]

What you do on your own time in the darkness of your own apartment is one thing. It's all out in the sunlight for everyone in God to see.

[Adam Carolla]

I got kids.

[Brian Bishop]

Thank you.

[Adam Carolla]

I got kids.

[Brian Bishop]

How am I supposed to explain that?

[Gina Grad]

I don't care how good those Tater Tots are. Well, they claim, the employees claim that their wages were reduced to basically four bucks.

[Adam Carolla]

An I'd like to get hold of Jared from Subway.

[Brian Bishop]

I know where I can find him.

[Adam Carolla]

The very first year, the two Sonic guys came out, and I'd show them that, you know Jared, he's like Dr. Drew when you talk about other doctors. He just, like, folds his arms. Yeah, call me in two years, see if he's still working. You know what I mean? Like, that's his thing.

[Brian Bishop]

He'll be able to trash it with flow, Right?

[Adam Carolla]

That's right. That's right.

[Haley Joel Osment]

I love how much snitching there is on him from, like, the other people in the prison. Like, there's some Arrows nations guy going,

[Adam Carolla]

hey, Jared's getting fat again. Like, tough.

[Haley Joel Osment]

There's always these stories about what he's up to in prison. And I'd love to see the hardened criminals who are gossiping, dropping the dimes. Jared Fogel.

[Adam Carolla]

You told Jared, first year those guys came out, that 10 years from now they're gonna be going strong and you're gonna be in the joint.

[Brian Bishop]

Your name will not be uttered in the hallways of Subway.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, he would have been Confused by that, right?

[Gina Grad]

Yes, very. So the new management says that's all a lie, and we're not doing that. But this was the legend that was stuck to the door. If you wanted to go in and get a, you know, limeade or whatever it would say. Warning, all in handwriting. Let them misspelled. Due to terrible management, the whole store has quit. The company has been sold to people that don't give a, I imagine, shit about anyone but themselves. Sorry for the inconvenience, but our team refuses to work for a company that treats their employees like shit when they have put everything into the store. We have worked too hard for too long. We are all off to better things. So do the new owners F you?

[Adam Carolla]

By the way, if you work for Sonic, the second you step outside, you're technically off to better things. Literally. You could take a municipal bus to hell and you'd be off to better things.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, Shirley's moved on to better. Oh, she was in the bathroom.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, so was it one management team that managed the three?

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, I think that A little franchise of three operations.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Well, it's. Look, it's everyone's fault. It's everyone's fault because when I was. When I worked at McDonald's, my manager, Ken, would just call me like, boy, you know, like, hey, boy, get out here, give a sweep and a mop, whatever. Now everyone's a team member, right? You're a team member. Well, we're a team, so we can rebel as a team.

[Brian Bishop]

We all go.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. When you're goomper number four and somebody yacked in one of the stalls in the men's room and you gotta go clean it up, you're not a team member.

[Gina Grad]

You march your GI in there.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. You don't go. You watch your tone. Or I'm gonna. Or thought how it works. Yeah. I'm gonna organize a. Yeah, a revival. Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

Guess what they called us.

[Adam Carolla]

You see, Norma Rae. No, let me explain.

[Gina Grad]

Guess what they called us when I worked at the phone, the catalog phone center for Disney in Lawrence, Kansas, when I was in college.

[Brian Bishop]

Were you a cast member?

[Gina Grad]

Yes, I was.

[Haley Joel Osment]

Wow.

[Gina Grad]

Yes, I was. And if you were let go, you were. You were cast away.

[Brian Bishop]

I like that.

[Adam Carolla]

Actually, the euphemistic titles for. For the minimum wage jobs. In a way, a little sadder. Like. I don't know. I also feel that way about waiter, waitress versus server. It's like, that's a move toward the light. You're my server servant.

[Gina Grad]

What do you stand on? Superintendent.

[Adam Carolla]

I think that's a Male, female, versus Stu thing or stewardess or whatever. Anyway, somebody. I believe them. So somebody came in there, laid down the law. Yeah.

[Haley Joel Osment]

So the other two stores also had notes. One just said, thank you next, which is an Ariana Grande song, and the other one just said goodbye. Allegedly, they cut their rate or their pay to $4 an hour plus tips. And everyone's just like, what?

[Adam Carolla]

Tips at a Sonic's?

[Haley Joel Osment]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

So tips at fast food.

[Gina Grad]

I literally just said that. Just so we're clear.

[Adam Carolla]

Sorry.

[Gina Grad]

Okay, no problem.

[Haley Joel Osment]

Sorry. I'm looking up stuff at the same time.

[Brian Bishop]

Someone's getting territorial over the news sometimes

[Gina Grad]

I just don't know what.

[Adam Carolla]

That's four bucks an hour. You said the news.

[Brian Bishop]

The Mexico pattern.

[Gina Grad]

They said. No, I'm just messing with you. No, they did say that for tipped employees. I don't know. The car hop, whatever.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, yeah, the valet.

[Gina Grad]

Lower to 4. But the management says that's not true. So we'll see what happens in Sonic in Ohio.

[Adam Carolla]

Do they have to provide their own

[Haley Joel Osment]

roller skates to do that?

[Gina Grad]

That's a very good question.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

I wonder how they do that.

[Gina Grad]

Well, Brian, I'm very curious what you think of this. You're a gin guy.

[Brian Bishop]

Indeed.

[Gina Grad]

You like your gin playful. Well, staff at a small distillery are still stunned after they were awarded the best gin. Best contemporary gin in the world.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow.

[Gina Grad]

Sheringham Distillery won the honor last week at the 2019 World Gin Awards.

[Brian Bishop]

Let's get some in here.

[Gina Grad]

Hosted by Gin magazine in London, England. Their little seaside gin.

[Brian Bishop]

Are they in London?

[Gina Grad]

They're in Canada. Their little seaside gin was first recognized as the best in Canada and was up against 22 other gins in the rest of the world. Would you like to know what their secret ingredient is?

[Brian Bishop]

Wait a minute. If you. If you tell me. It's kelp.

[Gina Grad]

What if I do tell you it's kelp?

[Brian Bishop]

I think I've had this.

[Gina Grad]

Really?

[Brian Bishop]

Is it kelp?

[Gina Grad]

Is it amazing? Yeah, it's kelp.

[Brian Bishop]

It's not. It's not amazing.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

That is fishy kind of.

[Brian Bishop]

I've had this briny.

[Adam Carolla]

No.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, exactly. So I recognize the bottle. The secret ingredient. Not secret, but, like, their thing is kelp. Like seawater and kelp.

[Gina Grad]

Sustainable.

[Brian Bishop]

I don't know if it's sustainable, but it definitely has a. Oh, okay. There we go. I tried it just God, last weekend, and it has a definite ocean flavor to it. This is the kind of thing, you know, you can get like. Like beer nerds can get too into beer, and they like beer that tastes like you Know, sunflowers or something weird. It's like, I just want beer tastes like beer. Like, I want gin that tastes like gin. I don't need the kelp in my beer.

[Gina Grad]

Well, especially with gin that already tastes like pine trees.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

Botanicals and all that. Like this. This was a little too out there. The guy this the bartender served to me was all too high. Like, you got to try this. They messing them. Like I.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Brian Bishop]

By all means. It was like weird.

[Haley Joel Osment]

They overstep sometimes. I had some whiskey that had like a mushroom flavor to it, and it was disgusting.

[Gina Grad]

You don't want a savory whiskey.

[Brian Bishop]

You can get too into a drink, whether it's beer or wine or liquor or whatever. And like, you're constantly looking for the next crazy thing, the next flavor, the next, you know, that no one's been done before. It's like, we got you in, figured out what's going on. Worked for thousands of years.

[Adam Carolla]

I kind of feel that way about the super mossy whiskey. Like, I'm sort of like, I want the best gin flavor, whiskey, rye flavor. Give me the best you've got. But don't go to the cannot verge off into different flavors now. It's weird.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, I agree. What do you guys have? Do you have a favorite scotch or whiskey? The one you go to every time I've heard.

[Adam Carolla]

What's Mark Garrigus always talking about?

[Brian Bishop]

I can answer it for gin.

[Adam Carolla]

Got it.

[Brian Bishop]

Yes. The Botanist. It's the best. Oh yeah, the Botanist is amazing.

[Adam Carolla]

I did go to Chris Morgan's house and he did get out all the stuff, like the good stuff, and put it all together and make a gin and tonic that was quite a bit better than the gin and tonic been used to drink in the park for so many years.

[Brian Bishop]

We haven't done our side by sides in a while. We did vodka and we did, I think some tequila.

[Gina Grad]

Did we do tequila?

[Haley Joel Osment]

We haven't done tequila yet either.

[Gina Grad]

We got to do that.

[Haley Joel Osment]

What do you guys want to do next?

[Gina Grad]

That would be great. I don't love gin, but I'll be very curious to see if you can get me to like it. My. My go to cocktail or my go to drink is Glenlivet.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

It's.

[Gina Grad]

It's the only one I can get down. Very, very smooth.

[Haley Joel Osment]

You guys fans like Talisker and Oban, I think those are. Those are in that world.

[Adam Carolla]

Gargis likes the Macallan 18 or 21. And Gargis, I think, has told me that the price of this stuff, you know, what used to be buck 75 is now like $4.50. Some of this scotch. If you go to the boutique liquor stores, it's gone through the roof.

[Haley Joel Osment]

All right, 19 is like 300 bucks.

[Adam Carolla]

300 bucks. Do not indulge and drive. But if you are going to drive, how about you get Geico and you save hundreds of dollars on your car insurance? Don't have to go anywhere. Just go to geico.com 15min could be saving 15% or more on your auto insurance. Take that extra money, put it in your pocket, be the most rewarding thing you do all day. Go to geico.com, spend a couple of minutes and find out just how much you could be saving on your auto insurance@geico. That is geico.com. all right, let's do one more. Gina Graham.

[Gina Grad]

All right. Well, FOX News reports that an owner of a food cart in Eugene, Oregon says he's thankful no one was injured when the cart exploded a few days ago. And we have some footage of that.

[Adam Carolla]

So.

[Gina Grad]

So I'll have you watch this real quick.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, boom.

[Gina Grad]

It is decimated. The food cart, which specializes in fried chicken, blew up shortly before 8am and a nearby surveillance camera got the whole thing on tape. The neighboring Oakshare Brewing Pub house, their door blew off all their taps, started spewing beer and get over there quick. Local firefighters say a faulty gas line is to blame for the incident. And that thing went up.

[Adam Carolla]

It's gonna happen. I mean, there's so many cars and food trucks and whatever, it's hard to regulate that. It's kind of bound to happen. Right? I mean, it's one thing to have a hardwired gas line going into a restaurant, but having the tanks of like propane and stuff and driving around with those things. Kind of surprised it doesn't happen. More, though the guy who runs the Staples center did say one of those Ghetto Wiener street dogs. That's a good name for a title of a movie.

[Brian Bishop]

Haley Joel Elofman in that's the spin off.

[Adam Carolla]

Sorry, Haley. You're going to be watching during the scene. Ghetto Wiener's taken over. But Forrest Gump 2 Ghetto wiener. Ghetto wiener. They said those things blew up and caught on fire. And I mean, you have a.

[Brian Bishop]

There's just propane tanks in grocery carts.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. It's kind of weird that more. We don't have more.

[Gina Grad]

Well, I'm sure he's doing everything in his power to shoo them away from the Staples Center.

[Adam Carolla]

It is weird that we live in a society where the Staples center came in to downtown and basically revitalized downtown.

[Brian Bishop]

It just vitalized it. There was nothing.

[Adam Carolla]

There wasn't anything. They've spun off all these different venues and restaurants and commerce and so much foot traffic. And then what they throw off in taxes every year, it's gotta be unthinkable. Tens of millions of dollars in tax.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, just the economic impact, too, you know what I mean? The parking, the attendance, Everyone that works there, they employ 1,000 people a night, at least.

[Adam Carolla]

And then they lease out all the restaurants, storefronts, all the people that are on the property and everything. And when I said to the guy who ran that place, I don't get it. The last time I went there, I walked down, I tripped over a guy selling hot dogs. But he was not in the street. He was on your property. He was right by the door. He's like, yep, nothing we can do. I was like, what do you mean, nothing? You do. Call the LA City Council, call the lapd, tell it. Get these guys removed. They're on your property, they're selling food, they're unlicensed. What are you talking about? And he's like, I don't want to get in trouble with the LA City Council. I'm like, what do you mean, get into trouble? All you do is pay taxes. Just go tell them to clean it up. And he's like, not that easy. I'll get the word that I could. It's not going to work. I'm like, okay, wow. All right, everybody. Buddy, I don't know. I don't like this.

[Brian Bishop]

The background optics of the cops coming in and sweeping out brown people who are trying to scrape together a living.

[Adam Carolla]

I get it. But let's do that. Let's be colorblind and just say they're folks selling food that's unregulated on your property to customers, and let's get them removed.

[Gina Grad]

And you did shed some light on that operation that I did not realize.

[Adam Carolla]

He. Oh, there's a couple things. He immediately. Delicious immediately pulled out his phone and showed me a giant cockroach roasting on a hot dog that one of his guys stole. But also he said, you know, the thing is, look, these aren't poor migrant families trying to make ends meet. What happens is, basically the coyotes realize that the kids don't really get busted and the women don't get busted. Like, the dudes get busted. So they just get the kids and they get them all gathered up in a van somewhere in Pacoima, and then they drive them out to the edge of the whatever. And then they tell them all. And then the money goes back to the coyote. Goes back to the pimp. Yeah, I was gonna say, essentially they get a little snippet. But of course, it could go no other way, Right?

[Brian Bishop]

When it's unregulated, it's gonna, of course

[Adam Carolla]

go the way it could go no other way.

[Brian Bishop]

Mafioso stuff.

[Adam Carolla]

So. All right, LA City council, get involved. How about you just do this? Enforce the law, and it doesn't matter what color anyone is. It'll just be the law. You know, that broad is holding the score.

[Brian Bishop]

Scale Justice.

[Adam Carolla]

She went a blindfold for this reason, right?

[Gina Grad]

That blind bra.

[Adam Carolla]

She's playing pin the tail on the donkey, right?

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, that's what she's doing. She's at a birthday party.

[Adam Carolla]

No, she's not hitting a pinata. She's. She's. She's in the Justice Department. That's why she's got the blindfold on.

[Gina Grad]

I didn't know that.

[Adam Carolla]

So go look at your own statue.

[Gina Grad]

Thank you.

[Adam Carolla]

Let's bring it out.

[Gina Grad]

You got it. I'm Gina Grad, and that's the news.

[Haley Joel Osment]

I got kids yo age.

[Adam Carolla]

Gina, Gina. That was the news with Gina. You think the donkey, you know, the pinata. Donkey started off as a donkey, at least turned into Trump's head and stuff, but it was a donkey. El Blue. It was a donkey. And then there's pin the tail on

[Brian Bishop]

the donkey was the pinata in my youth. It was always a character. It was always some.

[Adam Carolla]

No, it evolved. That's when the gringo started as a donkey.

[Brian Bishop]

Okay. That's what I was asking.

[Adam Carolla]

And a couple things. There must have been donkeys present at some of the earlier parties that I had to look at this and go, what the hell? I dragged your fat ass in a wagon across town for this.

[Brian Bishop]

Bad enough my ass is red from getting you up here.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Number one. Number two, I don't know where it comes from. Feels Mexican to me. But between the. Put the blindfold on, disorient the kid and have him swing a stick into the air. Or pin the tail on the donkey, which is disorient the kid, put the blindfold on, get a nice shot device. Yeah. You put the. This pin on the end of their thumb and have them just wander into a crowd. I don't feel it's good. I don't feel these things aren't safe.

[Brian Bishop]

It's irresponsible.

[Adam Carolla]

And also, what did donkey ever do?

[Brian Bishop]

Thank you.

[Adam Carolla]

You know what I mean?

[Brian Bishop]

Finally, someone said it.

[Adam Carolla]

Where are they from? Where do those two things come from.

[Haley Joel Osment]

It looks like it originated in China. Yeah. And then it's named. Pinata is actually an Italian word. And then.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, I gotta tell Lady Gaga the world's shaking.

[Haley Joel Osment]

Yeah. And then. But it's most strongly identified with Mexico.

[Adam Carolla]

Were the early pinatas donkeys? Because that's.

[Haley Joel Osment]

No, they're. I. I'm seeing like a nine pointed star.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow.

[Brian Bishop]

It's like a ball with a bunch of little.

[Adam Carolla]

As the early. I'm not saying.

[Brian Bishop]

And a cow.

[Adam Carolla]

Own a cow.

[Haley Joel Osment]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

So that's the. The early versions of pinatas were nine pointed stars and cows. A nine pointed star feels Jewish new to me.

[Gina Grad]

Too many points.

[Adam Carolla]

Don't worry about the cost, Brian. Let's just focus on the animals.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Yeah.

[Haley Joel Osment]

Cow or ox is for the new year in China.

[Adam Carolla]

In China is the Mexican. It's a Mexican pinata. Did that start as the donkey? Because maybe they made the move. All right. I have a pinata of my head somewhere at the other shop. Which is funny. But there should be companies that just make ex boyfriends and ex wives. Right.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Express.

[Haley Joel Osment]

That'd be nice.

[Adam Carolla]

By the way, stay away from Obama.

[Gina Grad]

I'm looking at this.

[Adam Carolla]

There's gonna be issues there market for it.

[Gina Grad]

This one says it was originally a seven pointed star to represent the seven deadly sins.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, which was it?

[Adam Carolla]

Whoa. Wow. So.

[Gina Grad]

But that Chris is saying about the points and maybe that's where the points come from. Maybe they had two more sins in

[Adam Carolla]

China and it got to Mexico and they switched to the donkey. Or am I making that whole thing up?

[Haley Joel Osment]

Donkey. Yeah. Mexico star shaped balls with points for the Christmas season and then other events. Traditional designs for children were donkeys which have almost entirely been replaced by cartoon characters based on US movies and television shows.

[Gina Grad]

That's what Brian knows.

[Brian Bishop]

That's my youth.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, let's bring at home.

[Gina Grad]

We did.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, we did. Well, let me tell you about Castrol Edge. Once again. Stronger under pressure. Castrol Edge with fluid titanium technology. Three times. Three times, fool. Stronger against that leading full synthetic. And they did a viscosity breakdown test and it's called the Kurt Urban test and it's against 5W30 viscosity grade. And guess who came out on Castrol Edge. Everybody. Haley Joel Osment, everybody. The movie extremely wicked, shockingly evil and vile. It's coming soon to Netflix. We should just keep an eye open for it.

[Haley Joel Osment]

Yeah, I think it's in the later spring is what we're hearing now.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Future Man Season 2 now available now on Hulu. You can check that out as well. Hailey, any other places you'd like me to send it? Anybody?

[Haley Joel Osment]

That's the big one right now. Yeah, we just finished our second season. It's a really funny time travel show and I play 150 year old hologram who cloned his daughter. So that's my story.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, that old story?

[Haley Joel Osment]

Yeah, you know that old bag you can pre order?

[Adam Carolla]

Not Taco Bell material. It's gonna drop in a few days. So go to chassis two S's and a Y or itunes and do that. It just helps. And check out Joey Fatone and Joe. Oh, sorry, Moville Hill, Mulva Hill there. Mulva Hill, the two Joeys. Anyway, they got a new podcast on podcast one. Check that out as well. Until next time, this is Adam for Haley Joel Osmond, Gina Grad and Paul Bryan. Say mahalo.

[Haley Joel Osment]

He's a real weenie.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, that's Adam Cole Show 2519. Come up next, we have Adam Cole Show 2526 from the Peterson Automotive Museum live show featuring Kyle Dunnigan and the great Jimmy Kimmel. Check it out. This morning. He set his clock ahead 10 years to when he'll still be doing the greatest podcast of the all time. Adam Corolla. Ah, thank you so much, Jimmy. You can grab a, grab a mic and grab a chair and grab whatever you like over there. Hey man, get it on. Got to get it on. No choice but to get on mandate. Get it on. Thank you guys so much for helping me realize a dream of a decade of podcasting. I want to thank bald Brian over here. I want to thank Gina Grad and the man if, well, if he did not help me all those years ago, I would not be here today. Jimmy Kimmel, everybody.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Thank you.

[Adam Carolla]

Adam, I love this.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

For this very special show, you wanted to take the show out somewhere very special and you found a place that looks exactly like your warehouse.

[Brian Bishop]

That's right.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, we did a car show here. As far as bad Sundays to spring forward, my dad day was. It's such a sad. It's such a pathetic thing. That thing where you're devastated that we're moving ahead one hour. Like the fact that that is so impactful in my life, like I do, I'd like to find somebody from some village that didn't have clean water and go yada, yada, yada. Well, polluted with a goat. I get it now. Listen to. Listen to my pain. I had to give a tour of my warehouse this morning at 9:00am to who? To some super fans who bought a Deluxe ticket. Who wanted to come by and do it. So I had the tour in the morning and then the car show in the afternoon, and then the screening of Uppity in the early evening, and now this. So a bad day to lose an hour, but we all landed on our feet.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

You know, it's worse than this daylights, which by the way, I feel like I was tricked because I wasn't paying attention to which one it was. Yeah, my wife was like, yeah, no, it's the good one. And then I realized at about 10 o' clock this morning, I go, it's the bad one.

[Adam Carolla]

It's the bad one.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

And she goes, no, it's good for the kids. Because I was like, it's bad for the. For me.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. No, it's. It's like that episode of Knight Rider where Hassell had to fight his twin. The bad one, the one with the goatee, is the one where you spring forward.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

Falling back. I would like, I'd like to. I'm a big fan of falling back. I wish we could just keep falling back until we got back in Pampers,

[Jimmy Kimmel]

until we're young again.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, we could all fall back and then be held back at the grade school level. Dr. Drew's in the back over there. Oh, waving.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

There he is.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh yeah, I rem.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Remember that dude. And just in case anything happens to him, Dr. Bruce is there.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right. You know, a definition I came up for Bruce and Drew and I. I think you'll probably appreciate this, Jimmy Drew. In the hisy there was a lot of like Dr. Ruth and Dr. Phil's and Dr. J's and Dr. Peppers and Dr. Doc Martens and all this kind of. Yeah, Dr. Seuss. Yeah, there's a lot of doctors. And and so was always like, was that guy a real doctor? Is she a real doctor? Is she a psychologist? What is. Here's my definition. It's called airplane doctor. You're not a real doctor unless someone can shout on an airplane. Is anyone a doctor? Is there a doctor on this flight? And you stand up.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

It's really weird that you say that because I got an honorary doctorate at my, at the college. I barely went to unlv. And I was very full of myself. And my brother in law who's an anesthesiologist was not happy. I had business cards printed up that say Dr. James Kimmel. I have stationary. I have the whole thing. And I was kind of on a roll. And really like a few days after this happened, I go on this fish trip. And we're flying into Boise, Idaho, and there's an old man sitting in the. In the seat right in front of me and he keels over into the aisle and the stewardess says, is there a doctor on the plane? And I tell you, it took every goddamn bit of my self control. And even then I had to say, not a medical doctor.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, you and Bill. Bill Cosby. That's right. You've joined an elite.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

I actually got his doctorate.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yeah, that's true.

[Haley Joel Osment]

Yeah.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

It was floating around and they said, you know, we got this one, you can have it.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, you're a doctor of sloppy seconds.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

But Dr. Drew, I think the point is, is the guy on the airplane who if there was a trouble, he would put his finger in your rectum, right?

[Adam Carolla]

That's right.

[Brian Bishop]

Much.

[Adam Carolla]

Much as I believe you and I shared that experience one time many years

[Jimmy Kimmel]

ago, Jim share it so much as you invaded me. And by the way, I'm doing a two part documentary on HBO about that incident. It's called Searching for my Prostate.

[Adam Carolla]

Can I at least be the voice for the animated figure? Did. Didn't you yolk out Jimmy's areola with a crazy straw?

[Jimmy Kimmel]

He did. No, no, no, that was his urethra.

[Adam Carolla]

His urethra. But I didn't do it. Arola is a different thing.

[Brian Bishop]

That'd be something else, man.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Sorry. Dr. Drew has been in my. In my rectum and my urethra.

[Adam Carolla]

Right, yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

He was trying. He was trying to touch fingertips.

[Adam Carolla]

That's nothing compared to talking to you about it across a giant room full of people. Yeah, yeah.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

It's more comfortable this way, believe me.

[Adam Carolla]

Does this violate any of those Hip Hippa statues where like you yell across. Crowded on his. Do you remember when we first met?

[Jimmy Kimmel]

And of course we were. We had that boxing match and I had to go get a physical for the wedding. We wanted to do it. I had to go get a physical for the boxing match. Of course, Dr. Drew, we all worked together. Dr. Drew's a real doctor, said, let's go to Dr. Drew for the physical. And so Dr. Drew's okay, change into this robe and he kind of closes the curtain and Kevin and Bean and Adam are all there. And while the curtain is closed, I take off all my clothes and I just stand there naked, waiting for them to.

[Adam Carolla]

And then they slide the curtain open

[Jimmy Kimmel]

and they shrieked like girls.

[Adam Carolla]

It was really. Jimmy used to like to do that, expose himself sort of spontaneously. Yeah. And by the way, Adam, you asked about the HIPAA violation. I know there's A HIPAA violation. Because when he did show up for his evaluation situation, Kevin was there with a tape recorder.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Yeah, Right.

[Brian Bishop]

Recording the whole thing.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

We. We. All right. Oh, boy. This is the greatest day of my life. We were playing poker at my house.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

And Kevin was with us again. And a few other guys. We're having poker night at the bachelor pad. And at some point late in the evening, Jimmy excused himself. Yourself. To go to the bathroom or the kitchen or something like that. He said, deal me out of this hand. And we did. It was a very warm night, and the window was open in the den we're playing in.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Romance was in the air.

[Adam Carolla]

About six minutes later, Jimmy just dove through the open window completely naked.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

That is true.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. And do you remember what happened at the end of that night when we were doing the dishes?

[Jimmy Kimmel]

That was even the most notable event of the evening. That was the. The infamous coffee can night.

[Adam Carolla]

Listen, Lynette's here tonight. She knows. She knows. The birth of the twins are a distant second to what. What happened.

[Brian Bishop]

Lynette, Carolla, everybody.

[Gina Grad]

Yes, ma'.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Am.

[Gina Grad]

Thank you. Thank you.

[Haley Joel Osment]

Thank you.

[Adam Carolla]

Thank you. Yeah, go ahead.

[Gina Grad]

Well, I. I'm just here because I

[Adam Carolla]

have to take the kids home because

[Gina Grad]

they have school tomorrow, but I know that Adam gets drunk and forgets certain things.

[Brian Bishop]

What?

[Gina Grad]

And I wanted to make sure these

[Adam Carolla]

things got covered because I want to thank a few people tonight. Go ahead. Oh.

[Gina Grad]

Because.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

Thank you, Jimmy.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Thank you.

[Gina Grad]

Jimmy knows. Okay. First and foremost.

[Adam Carolla]

Foremost.

[Gina Grad]

We started the podcast in our house

[Haley Joel Osment]

next to Sunny and Natalia.

[Gina Grad]

But there's a couple guys that have been working with us since the very beginning. And I know that you guys hear. And you hear Adam and his meanness

[Adam Carolla]

or whatever, but this is taking a turn.

[Brian Bishop]

No, but listen, just. Just so you hear Adam, let me

[Gina Grad]

just say one thing. Producer Gary, Chris and Matt.

[Adam Carolla]

Thank you. Those three guys.

[Gina Grad]

Dawson, Mike, Chaffee, Mike, August.

[Adam Carolla]

These guys.

[Gina Grad]

I hope I didn't forget anybody.

[Adam Carolla]

I hope you did, because that's what a mean person would do. No, come on.

[Gina Grad]

Listen. Those guys, especially those three. Chris, Matt, Gary especially. But in Chaffee and August, they've been with us since very beginning, and I cannot thank them enough. They've worked their asses off to get these shows up every day.

[Adam Carolla]

He's got a show, a daily show.

[Gina Grad]

It's a lot to put in. And then the newbies like Kaylin and Dylan and Gabe and Emmy. Oh, yeah, Gabe and Emmy. Thank you.

[Adam Carolla]

I wanted her to forget somebody. All right. Yeah. Patrick. Patrick. Patrick is. And then Peter He's a little like

[Gina Grad]

Newbie, but honestly, these guys, if it wasn't for them, we wouldn't be here. And the biggest, most important people I

[Adam Carolla]

want to thank are you guys. Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

The ace holes that are here tonight.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, thank you. Asols. The A hole.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

See?

[Gina Grad]

See? Did you hear, Adam?

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, thank you, Ace holes. Thank you.

[Gina Grad]

110 times. Don't forget.

[Haley Joel Osment]

Look, she's crying.

[Adam Carolla]

Addie, she's crying because you're sucking the life out of the room.

[Gina Grad]

Amy, stand up.

[Adam Carolla]

Amy,

[Gina Grad]

these are your people.

[Adam Carolla]

They.

[Gina Grad]

They flew out from all over. Who came from the furthest?

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Who?

[Adam Carolla]

Chicago

[Gina Grad]

floor.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Marvin.

[Adam Carolla]

All right. Okay.

[Gina Grad]

All right.

[Adam Carolla]

I thought you were gonna come up here and give a toast. That's my toe.

[Gina Grad]

My toast.

[Adam Carolla]

Thank you.

[Gina Grad]

Chris Maxapata. Chris Lacks of mana.

[Haley Joel Osment]

Here's a toast to you guys.

[Gina Grad]

All you guys and the lackeys.

[Adam Carolla]

Thank you. Thank you guys so much. Honestly, thank you.

[Gina Grad]

Really appreciate everything.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, thank you.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Congratulations.

[Adam Carolla]

Thank you. Thank you, Jimmy.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

So anyway, Adam Fartson. Oh, a coffee can.

[Adam Carolla]

Thank you. Lynette Corolla, everybody. By the way, Adam. Yes.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

It's debatable, but I think. And Lynette, you will be witness to this. I think maybe the funniest thing you ever said was you and Lynette were driving alone and you farted in the car and you were. Wait, you were wafting it towards your nose. You were kind of, you know, so you can enjoy it.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

And Lynette goes, oh, you have to.

[Adam Carolla]

You have to wave it at yourself.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

And you go, I'm driving the car. What do you want me to do,

[Adam Carolla]

stick my head between my legs? Yeah. I did love that story. It was a true story story. The. The other fart story that I was about to embark upon was that night after Jimmy had gotten dressed and the folks had left my home like an elderly gay couple. We were perched in front of the sink in the kitchen, and Jimmy was doing the dishes. Because Jimmy is very conscientious. Jimmy is. He's the kind of guy who would never go to your party and, you know, eat a bunch of guacamole and leave. He's going to clean every dish. And he was there doing the dishes at the sink, and I was kind of busting them to him. And once again, I had to fart. And Jimmy sort of had his back to me at the sink. And I grabbed one. One of those Trader Joe's cylinders, one of those Trader Joe's coffee, like, whole bean cylinders that had about three or four beans rattling around the back of it and I popped the lid off and I put it against my ass and I gave it a half turn like to get a good airlock on there. I just give it a, give it a turn, I give it a seal and I just farted into this canister and filled it up with my ass gas. And I slapped the lid back on it and I, I, I think the water was making enough noise and Jimmy's making enough noise. Didn't hear anything. And then I tapped Jimmy on the shoulder and I said, have you ever smelled fresh roasted whole bean Sumatra coffee? And he went, and the thing that's, that's diabolical about this, which is like, if you say to someone, smell this milk, they kind of go, they're a little different, tentative, they're a little sheepish. If you do the smell my finger, they're usually sheepish or they're in big time. I found there's some of those guys, but when you tell them, smell this coffee, they just bury their face into this, this tube. And Jimmy just put his face in and just, just inhaled everything that was in that can. He even lifted a bean up from the bottom just a little bit bit. This, this suction was so amazing. And he popped his head out and he had a look. And it was, that it was the greatest moment of my life. Because there's that little moment in life before you, you smell it, it's coffee. After you processed it, you processed it like it's those, it's those middle moments that, that instant when you're. Yeah. Anyone has ever had a couple car stolen, has had that moment where they're like, I park next to the Forerunner. What, what I do with my car. Oh. And then she see the first moment you think you've lost, lost your car. After that, it's just like, I'm going to call the insurance company.

[Gina Grad]

It's that realization, that free betrayal.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. The discovery moment. Jimmy like popped his head from the can and he just looked like, he looked like, like a dog watching someone beat off. He just went like, huh, like what?

[Brian Bishop]

He started panting.

[Adam Carolla]

What? And then it, then it hit him. I think it hit.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

There's only one way it could have been better, and that's if we were scuba diving.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, there's no way. Yeah, there's no way. All the wafting and all the rolling up of the windows and all the stuff like that is good, but you can't make someone really ingest your ass.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Although you did. You know, they say you can't do it, but that's why you have to. And that's a great lesson for the young people like this young kid.

[Adam Carolla]

It really is. Yeah.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Believe in yourself. Don't let anybody tell you anything's impossible. Start farting in small cans.

[Adam Carolla]

Peanut jars. Yeah.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

You know, with your friends. You know those fake snakes that jump out of the jar, fart in those

[Adam Carolla]

and work your way up.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

And one day, who knows, you might be here on this platform.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right. Telling your own fart based stories.

[Gina Grad]

And if you don't have a can, a Van de Vegas will do.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, my God. Now we're on a. Now we're on a fart. A trajectory.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Yeah. We should probably divert. And I do want to say congratulations to you on this remarkable accomplishment. I mean to, you know, and it's interesting to me to.

[Adam Carolla]

When you.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

You talk about, you know, making this dream come true, because I. And correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't feel like this was your dream. I feel like when you started doing this, it was like, this will be something I can do. Like, I'll do this in the meantime because I'm still getting paid from the radio show.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

It was not really something I think you thought of with big commercial, you know, goals. Right?

[Adam Carolla]

No, I mean, because it. It didn't exist. It was sort of like owning a refinery before the internal combustion engine was invented. Like, I had this product, but no one would buy it.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

So even maybe more significantly, you'd been on the radio for how many years at that time?

[Adam Carolla]

I've been. Well, if you kind of include when I met you at Kevin and bean. I was 15 years.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Yeah.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

So every day for 15 years, you'd been talking non stop, and there's no way to just turn that off? No, no, that somebody's gonna get that. Whether it be Lynette, the kids weren't around at the time to get it, whether it be Olga, whether it be the dog, whether it be somebody's gonna be the recipient. And you wisely decided to do it into a microphone, into the computer with a series of strangers.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. Why. Why punish my own family and not get paid? Why not punish an army audience and laugh all the way the bank.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Exactly. So it's like when Lou Ferrigno retired from competitive bodybuilding. He didn't quit going to the gym.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. I was. I was about to make that analogy. But you beat me. You beat me to it. Do you want to play a little Adam Corolla's unprepared. Yeah, sure. Yeah. Did you guys write down Some words on some ping pong balls.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, we got a nice full hopper.

[Adam Carolla]

Where is you never guess how I

[Jimmy Kimmel]

came up with this idea. The way I came up with this idea for Adam is Adam is always unprepared for every situation. And that applies to pretty much everything non car related. And so this really seemed like. Like it would be in your wheelhouse and boy is it. The thing I have a problem with is working the ball because. Well, you know.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, there it is. I think one just.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Here we go.

[Adam Carolla]

This is one word that you guys all wrote down. I think people put their initials on there. Let me ask.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

So is it there going to be a prize for best ball?

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, that's right. Yeah. I think the best ball we're going to give a.

[Gina Grad]

We got it right here. A ten piece system by Simplisafe with all the add ons and video doorbell valued around 500 bucks. Congratulations to the big winner.

[Adam Carolla]

Thank you. Jimmy Kimmel. That was the radio pro by the way.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

I'm gonna point out that in him there are. There are some initials on some of these balls but otherwise we have no idea whose balls they are. Who wrote them? Yeah, that this is yours. Okay. All right. This one says FOX News.

[Adam Carolla]

Fox News. Well, we can only do Fox, but I guess we'll make an exception to Fox News. It was funny. I was talking to Mark Garrigus two days ago and he was telling me about back in the day when Greta von Susten.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

By the way, do you see your buddy defending Michael Jackson on that HBO documentary?

[Adam Carolla]

He's my hero, man. Yeah,

[Brian Bishop]

the hero of the common man.

[Adam Carolla]

Somebody's gotta fight for the underdog. Mark Gerrigas was telling me actually if you want to know the truth about that clip where he's talking about like crushing anyone that comes forward with allegations or whatever it is. That clip was from when him and Michael Jackson. I didn't tell you guys this or whatever. And also in the documentary you see these kids that have been molested and they're. They're having to testify. And then they cut to Mark Garrigus and he's standing there with his evil mustache and he's. And the words that are passing underneath his evil mustache are even worse. He's like if anyone tries to go after Michael Jackson, we're going to crush him. You think he's talking about nine year old molestation victim Williams? Turns out he's talking about 11 year old mullet.

[Gina Grad]

Don't you all feel stupid?

[Adam Carolla]

No. You know what it was he told me he flew privately From Vegas to Neverland Ranch with MJ On a private jet. They. They recorded him. Somebody, the guy who owned the jet, recorded him and wanted to sell him back the tape, like, was trying to blackmail him with the recording. Mark Garrigus went right to the whomever and said, this is attorney client privilege and this blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And so when he gave that press conference, he was saying, if anyone else out there is going to try this, they're going to get it. And he was talking about people who were taping him privately. So even when you think you're watching a job doc, you're not necessarily watching it exactly. Like Willie T. Ribs, White guy. Wow. I'm saying there's. There's room for some artistic license. So Mark Garrigas was telling me he was talking to a Greta Von Suster, I think her name was back on Fox News. And I thought to myself, you know, Greta was okay, but she was a Fox News Fox. Like, she wasn't what the chicks who are on Fox News look like today. Have you also, if I. I'm gonna open a dental center and just call it Fox News Teeth. Every chick teeth can have a shaft of light come out of their mouth when they smile. Like, that's. That's what it does. That's what the Fox News chicks do. And I thought, could you imagine, Greg, Greta being on Fox? She's not still on today, is she?

[Gina Grad]

I don't think.

[Brian Bishop]

I don't think so. She's been.

[Adam Carolla]

What I'm basically trying to say is Fox News has discovered their target demo, and their target is dudes who want to hear some good news about Trump and like to hear it leave the mouth of a hot chick with super white teeth. And I don't think Greta fits that. That bell.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Oh,

[Jimmy Kimmel]

but. All right, well, then we'll go to another ball, I guess, right?

[Adam Carolla]

Go to another ball.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

All right, the next ball again, Unidentified. Oh, this. Look at the initials here. Adam, you might want to do bm. The initials are bm. You know, your parents are not paying any attention at all.

[Adam Carolla]

I grew up with a guy named Benjamin Myerson, and that's all we call him as bowel movement Benji. Yeah, of course you did.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

That's what he needs to be called.

[Adam Carolla]

Legal.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Tesla is the. Is the ball Tesla.

[Adam Carolla]

I love that band. Next.

[Gina Grad]

Everywhere inside.

[Adam Carolla]

I feel like there's forgotten about as a band is the inventor. They name themselves after Tesla. My wife drives a Tesla. Lynette, you hear now? Now, that's right. Have a drink, hit the road, drive a Tesla. She has TESLA? Tesla's $110,000.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

She's in it right now.

[Adam Carolla]

Automobile. Yeah, she's. She's going home in her Tesla right now. She went to New York a few weeks back. I hope you're all safe sitting to see Bruce Springsteen. What?

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, is she an enthusiast of his music?

[Adam Carolla]

She went there to see Bruce on Broadway. She said, it's the only street I haven't seen him on yet. I've seen him on E Street, I've seen him now on Broadway. And she left her Tesla and Gabe drove her to the airport. And the following morning I got up and I was going to take the kids to school, and I jumped into the Tesla and we took off for school. And I could not find the key fob. And when I got back to my driveway, I saw it smashed in a million pieces because Gabe had stashed it on the front left tire. And a Tesla $110,000 car you may get into and drive away with the key outside of the car. I talked to Chris Maxapata. Chris maxapata has a $27,000 Prius. But you cannot get into the car and drive away with the key fob outside of the car.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

But if it's on the tire, it's within the perimeter of the vehicle.

[Adam Carolla]

I. I would say it is, but it is still outside of the vehicle. It's basically like you saying, come on, that fanny packs part of your body. You go, well, it's on me, but it's not really part of me. So I like Tesla. Elon, I don't know what's going on with the X. He's building cars and tents now. But either way, for 110 grand, you still don't get a car where you can't run run over the key fob. But don't worry, Lynette had a backup key fob somewhere other than the house I live in. And Jimmy, you're married. Tell me, thank you. Is it worth pursuing these arguments? When she said, I said, I called her New York. I said, where are you? Where is the backup key fob? And she said, said it's not by the front door? And I said, nope. And she said, maybe a valet lost it. Now, Brian, I don't know why you're laughing.

[Brian Bishop]

That's a good creative answer.

[Adam Carolla]

Should I pursue that or just go, I'm gonna find that valet. You know, like Princess Bride. I'll announce my dad's name, I'll pull a sword out and I'll write this

[Brian Bishop]

in just justice you're like an ego, Montoya.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, that's what I'll do. And I'll run that guy through. Yes. All right, women. Can I say this? It's unfair for you to throw out insane arguments. And then we have a choice. We can either respond to insane argument and have full throwdown cage match donnybrook, or we can nod our head as if that actually happened. Those are.

[Brian Bishop]

Those are choices.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

That's it.

[Adam Carolla]

That's unfair choice. That's an unfair position to put a spouse in.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

Thank you.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

That was Tesla. This one says pug. I don't know if that means the car. I mean, the dog, or what?

[Adam Carolla]

Pug.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Pug.

[Adam Carolla]

A pug? Yeah. Pug is a. Is a dog. Pug is a little dog. Pug is one of those dogs. There's. There's two kinds of dogs, really. Like you can say, oh, oh, there's millions of different breeds of dogs and so many different shapes and sizes and everything. But there's really only two types of dogs. Dogs that are ashamed and do not want you to see their asshole. And then other dogs who show off their asshole like it's a movie opening. And the pug is one of those dogs. It just basically screams, everyone stare at my asshole.

[Brian Bishop]

It's a wide release. It's 4,000 screens. It's Captain Marvel back there.

[Adam Carolla]

Listen. Black Panther 2 won't be as big a release as a pug's anus. It literally has a tail. It doesn't just go out, it rolls up and their anus. Like the pugs. A total width of a pug, hip to hip. Outer dimension mention is three and a half inches. Two and three quarters of inches of that is like. It's literally. It's literally more than half of their backside. It's all pug. They're literally. They're like, look, I'm sorry, but if I ever heard of anyone who raped a pug anally, there's not a court in the land that would convict that man. They're just. Just isn't. I'm sorry. I know the law.

[Brian Bishop]

Gargas wouldn't take the case.

[Adam Carolla]

Fergus would take that.

[Brian Bishop]

It's beneath me.

[Adam Carolla]

He'd take a pro bono. It is just a dog.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Now let me check in with the 11 year old in the big Bang Theory T shirt to see if he agrees with this. Do you understand what's going on here?

[Adam Carolla]

Are you a pet owner? I got a dog named Phil. He has a big old fat F I L L that dog. God, that thing. His tail looks like the back of Davy Crockett's hat. It just hangs there. And I don't even know if he has an. I can only speculate.

[Brian Bishop]

You assume everyone's.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, there's poop, I'm assuming, but I've never physically seen it. Whereas a pug you can see from outer space. And I'm just saying, for that reason, we don't need pugs.

[Brian Bishop]

There's a young boy in primro, age about 2012. Ish. And this is the best day of his life.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

How old are you, young man?

[Gina Grad]

10.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

10. I like Adam that used. He used Davy Crockett to explain it to him. You know, someone who was dead 50 years before you were born.

[Adam Carolla]

You know Fess Parker. Right, Right. Okay. Of course. You big Fess Parker fan. He's a young boy. Every young lad, I'm sure you're up here with your red ride and your rider Daisy air gun and having fun. What do you got, one of those little wagons where you put the roller skate wheels on it and it's got the box. Are we playing stickball earlier today or how. No. 22 Skidoo. Nothing.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Soapbox Derby? No.

[Adam Carolla]

Big Brooklyn Dodgers fan, are you? What do you kids do these days?

[Jimmy Kimmel]

This one says Hawaii.

[Adam Carolla]

Hawaii. Hawaii.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Which is a state.

[Adam Carolla]

Hawaii is. Jimmy and I went to Hawaii. That's true. Many years ago. We were. We were golfing.

[Brian Bishop]

Tell us a fart story.

[Adam Carolla]

And Hawaii is one of the worst places to fart in. It's not good farting country.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

No, the islands. Islands are bad for farting.

[Adam Carolla]

You know, there's always a trade wind carrying your great effort out to search. See. Yeah, it's. It's horrible. But we were. We were there and we were. We're golfing. And at some point Jimmy said to me, you know why Hawaiians love Spam? And I said, I don't know why. And he said, because they used to be cannibals. Cannibals, yes, they were cannibals. And I said, is that true? And he said, yeah, that's why they love Spam.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

It tastes like human flesh.

[Adam Carolla]

Then we found. We found a Hawaiian person to bounce that off of. Yeah, yeah. You remember her reaction?

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Yeah, it didn't really bounce.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Just sort of stayed there.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Yeah.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Just kind of stuck to her.

[Adam Carolla]

Just kind of stuck to her. Was it great?

[Jimmy Kimmel]

You know, I'll tell this again to the kid. There was a time before Google when people would say things and we just go with them. There's no way. Nobody's like, let me Check on my phone. You had to go to, like, the store and. And insult the cashier.

[Adam Carolla]

And it was also funny because it was total and 100 confirmation. Like, Jimmy's like, here's what happened. We talked to one random Hawaiian chick who was 29. She said, I don't know what you're talking about. And we got on with our lives. We didn't have to do anything. But I will tell you, Hawaii not as enjoyable for me as it is for my kids. Because I don't know, Jimmy, you didn't. You didn't get to do anything, like, when I was a kid.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

No, nothing.

[Adam Carolla]

When I was.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

I was at Cub Scouts. The one adventure we went on, we went to the local Carvel ice cream store in Brooklyn, and they did not even give us ice cream.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

We just went and just went to the store. Went to the store, went back to the mom's house. Yeah, that was our field trip.

[Adam Carolla]

I went to Eagle Run Rock to go to the Lorries taco seasoning plant to see how seasoning is made, and they gave us miniature packets of taco seasoning.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Oh, you got something to take home

[Adam Carolla]

with on your trip? Yes. There's nothing a 9 year old likes more than seasoning spicing off their ground beef.

[Gina Grad]

This isn't fun dip, but it has

[Adam Carolla]

now ruined every experience I have with my kids. Because when I went there with my kids and your cousin Sal's kids and everybody, their whole thing is like, we want to go to the luau. And it's like $95 a head to go to the luau. They go to the luau, they eat $6 worth of pulled pork. And then at some point, when the guy at the Tiki torch comes out, they announce, we're bored. We're going back to the room. And then they all go back to the room to watch TV while we're all sitting at the Loop luau. And then when we get to the room, one of them announces, they're hungry. I want pizza. And I went, chicken fingers. And then my wife goes running for the phone. And then I yell, put the phone down. We just spent 95 bucks ahead at the luau. And then she's on the phone with room service. And then I go, put the phone down. And she goes, pepperoni or Hawaiian style or what do you want? And then my son's like, and chicken fingers, too. And then I'm sorry. Screaming, yelling, no. And then it turns to the world's worst vacation.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

It's gonna get to that anyway, no matter what. As Long as you're spending money and the kids are enjoying themselves, you're not gonna be happy.

[Adam Carolla]

That's true.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

This one. I don't know if this is in your.

[Haley Joel Osment]

Your.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

I don't know.

[Adam Carolla]

Wookie.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Chewbacca, it says wookie. And have you ever seen Star Wars?

[Adam Carolla]

I've seen the first one. I've seen bits and pieces of it. I'm mad that Obi Wan Kenobi is named Obi Wan Kenobi and not Obi Wan Kenobi when everything is C3PO and all this kind of stuff.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

He was Mexican.

[Adam Carolla]

He was.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Yeah. Obi Wan Kenobi.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Yeah.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

You're pronouncing it wrong.

[Adam Carolla]

We got to build that dome. Juan Kenobi. But everyone just said Obi Wan Kenobi, right? Did they say Juan? Let me tell you something. There's a famous Juan. There's Juan Valdez. He picked beans for Hills Brothers coffee.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, they smell so good.

[Adam Carolla]

That was.

[Brian Bishop]

Take a deep whip.

[Gina Grad]

Try this.

[Adam Carolla]

That guy's name was Juan Valdez. No one ever does that with Obi Wan Kenobi. They just say Obi Wan Kenobi. You're right.

[Brian Bishop]

With a lot of. Of letters.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Numbers. Yes. It doesn't make sense to me. I watched it.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

He's not a wookie, but we're going to let you.

[Adam Carolla]

All right. I. I put a. A pox on everyone who likes anything. All science fiction and all. Anyone who supports those arts. Thank you. Yes. We don't. I don't care for that. No. I want my kids are going to grow up in reality where they walk out of $100 luau and order off of the room service menu. That's the kind of world of gravity I want my kids to grow up in. Not this fantasy land where everyone's up in outer space shooting the blasters at each other. Sorry.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

I want to give. I want to hand it to whoever wrote the word mitochondria on this ping pong ball.

[Adam Carolla]

It's all on there.

[Gina Grad]

Straight back.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, right back. Are you. Are you a research clinician? A registered diet? Oh, you know what? I'd like to have registered my hands. Wouldn't that be awesome?

[Brian Bishop]

As dietitians.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. So tell us what that is. I don't know what that is. I failed biology. Mr. Dillibirdi failed me in the 10th grade, and I flunked out of biology, so I don't even know how to answer that.

[Gina Grad]

I work in a hospital and I assist patients. Patients with their. Any diet education they need or I assess their nutrition Status.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

And you can't get fat with a job like that. Right. Because if you walk in and they're like. Like, here's what you should be eating. They're like, huh? Okay.

[Gina Grad]

Exactly. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Gotcha.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. But is. It isn't. Well, first off, I don't know what hospital, but I hope it's not Kaiser. No, no, because Kaiser was Kaiser my whole life. And then at a certain point. Point. They put the word permanente at the end of it. It's like, well, now I'm never leaving the hospital. The worst diarrhea. Permanente.

[Gina Grad]

It's always terminal at Kaiser Permanente.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, Kaiser.

[Haley Joel Osment]

Temporary.

[Adam Carolla]

Temporary. Yes. The permanente put. Being in the hospital. The whole plan with the hospital is how long you're in the hospital. Permanente sounds like you're. You're never. Never going to leave. And if you do, you're going to leave with a big Z across your chest. So I'm sorry. Oh, wait a minute. How can you get preachy about diet in a place that just pretty much serves up jello and on a shingle?

[Gina Grad]

Oh, no, no, no, no. That's not true, Adam.

[Adam Carolla]

They do good food now. Absolutely. You can get good food at the hospital.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Yes.

[Gina Grad]

Well, it depends on what hospital you go to. At my hospital, we serve good food.

[Adam Carolla]

And so, mitochondria, what is the deficit definition?

[Gina Grad]

It's the powerhouse of the cell.

[Adam Carolla]

Thank you. There's, like the nucleus and the whatever is. And the Santa Maria and the. Yes, the Pinto, I think.

[Gina Grad]

Santa Maria.

[Adam Carolla]

Right, right. It's the part of the cell. Let me tell you something. When we start talking about how much we share, it's like when people talk about, you know, you're 70% water in the world is 70%. Oh, ocean. I just glaze right over like a donut. I have. I know. We're all just a bunch of cells. I. I didn't even know there were parts of cells. And you. But. But do you bore all your clients with this kind of granular talk?

[Gina Grad]

I do, but I get paid, so it's fine.

[Adam Carolla]

You get paid. All right. And does it. Do people listen to you? Because I feel like I tell people things and they don't listen.

[Gina Grad]

I'd say about 3% of patients listen to. That'd be a bumper cross whether they listen or not, so it's right.

[Adam Carolla]

Do you have weird nurse shoes you have to wear at the hospital?

[Gina Grad]

No, no, no, no. I get to wear cute clothes. Nurses wear ugly clothes. I wear cute clothes.

[Adam Carolla]

Really? Gonna have a pop. A few catheters out, are you?

[Gina Grad]

No, no, that's nurse work. I don't do that.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay, all right.

[Gina Grad]

I talk to patients. I don't touch them.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, well, I've seen a lot of movies that depict nurses. Nurses. And I always appreciate your work, but somehow they went from super hot candy stripers to just big brothers. You know, my thought is. And not with you, so I can speak my mind. Jimmy, I was by your theater and there must be some sort of nursing academy or something that's by your theater.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Yes, I have a nursing academy.

[Adam Carolla]

I didn't. Oh, that's your nursing academy. I didn't.

[Gina Grad]

He's a doctor.

[Adam Carolla]

I didn't know.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Didn't I give you a business card?

[Adam Carolla]

I saw a lot of nursing students, like, getting off the subway or crossing the street or there's some. Some sort of nursing hub that was out front of your theater or next year theater some years ago. And I started noticing that the nurses were getting huge. Like the gals were getting big. And I realized they are wearing scrubs now. They're not wearing the form fitting little skirts and tops that they used to wear the candy striper. They're wearing these big billowy things. And you know how rappers get huge because they wear sweatsuits?

[Jimmy Kimmel]

They fill into them.

[Adam Carolla]

They fill. They fill it in like the goldfish does with the bowl. And you know that feeling of when you wear pants and you eat too much and you go, ah, it's a little bit tight.

[Brian Bishop]

Like, I got. Take a little.

[Adam Carolla]

I got taken a little easy. I feel that way about nursing outfits. We got to get them out of the scrubs and get them back into the dress that George Jetson's wife used to wear.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, Judy.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah, Judy Jetson. That's. That's what we need to do, Jane. And also my policy with fat cops.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Jimmy, you have a policy with fat cops?

[Adam Carolla]

I do.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

What is it?

[Adam Carolla]

You get issued one. One bulletproof vest. You do it when you're a rookie cop at 168 pounds and that's your only vest. And if you want to get morbidly obese, that's on you. But you still got the one vest. So you're gonna have half of you slopping outside of the vest and want to take a bullet. That'll be your business. I'm the taxpayer. We buy no more vests. All right, let's do one more tenacity. Tenacity. I like tenacity. I feel like it's thrown around a little too easily, cavalierly.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

It's not always good.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it's not. Yeah, there is time. Sometimes you should give up. Like, you hear a lot, by the way. I don't think you're going to hear these stories anymore, But a lot of those, like, people over 65 is like, well, when I met your mother, she was dating another man and she was engaged at the time. But I didn't give up. Right. I stowed away in the trunk of her car and I popped out. When we got back to her apartment, the underground parking, like, there's a lot of, like, weird stories that should be super creepy. And every story about dating back in the day was like, tenacity.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

We call it stalking now.

[Adam Carolla]

Now. Yes, now. Now you're a sexual predator. It's like, think about all those grandpa grandma stories. Like, I walked up to Becky Sue. I introduced myself. She slapped me in the face and called me fresh. But I followed her out to the mule.

[Brian Bishop]

It's like the most tenacious people on earth are stalkers.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. They really are.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

They have tenacity. That's the one thing you can really say about them. When I went to. I just thought of this. My wife and I went to her gynecologist when we're planning to have babies, you know, and he. I don't remember what la led to this diagnosis, if you want to call it that, but the woman was looking around in there and she found something. She saw something that I'd left behind. And she said, she told my wife, your husband has tenacious ejaculate.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow, I love that band.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Tenacious ejaculate, that is.

[Brian Bishop]

They're on the side. Size change of Coachella, but watch out for next year.

[Adam Carolla]

I would. Oh, well, you and I. Hold your ears, young lad. You and I did a man show bit where we got our ejaculate tested, right?

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Yeah, we did.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Yeah.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Sperm test motility.

[Adam Carolla]

Sperm was tested. Mine was more mobile, but yours was larger in numbers.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Mine was doing some sort of a choreographed dance. We don't know what happened.

[Adam Carolla]

How try. Yeah, Yeah. I don't remember a lot about your sperm other than it sticks to the roof of your mouth. It's like creamy peanut butter, but not. Not like you've ever had before. Hold that boy's ears. So tenacity, like, I'm going to have a talk with my son. Where I go, son, I'd like you to have some tenacity. Yeah, but reasonable amount of tenacity. Reasonable out of tenacity. Too much tenacity makes you a super pain in the ass. Or possibly a stalker.

[Brian Bishop]

No one to give up, right?

[Adam Carolla]

All right, should we pick the one we did? Which one?

[Jimmy Kimmel]

You want to review them real quickly?

[Brian Bishop]

Well, how much, Jimmy? How many of them actually have initials?

[Adam Carolla]

Gotta be.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

I tried to only pick. I got rid of the ones that I'm initial, so we don't have a problem. Fox News. Tesla, Tenacity, Pug. What is this?

[Adam Carolla]

I think I like. I like the Pug.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Mitochondria.

[Adam Carolla]

Andrea. Chewbacca,

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Hawaii. And yeah, Tenacity again.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, I say Pug. I say we got it.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

All right, well, let me find that one. The initials of the person who wrote pug are mk so it could be one of, like, 30 people here. It's the two most common letters.

[Brian Bishop]

There's a woman approaching the stage.

[Adam Carolla]

Here she is. Oh, wow. Here we go.

[Brian Bishop]

We did not ask.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

And I want you to have this ball. Hi, how are you? Congratulations. Yeah, sorry, I'll let him know. He's like my Pug.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. Yes. All right, well, let's hug. Yes. Thank you. You're gonna. Wait. Let's say hi to Gina. I think Gina's gonna give you something.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

It's in 10 pieces. What was that? A bucket of chicken?

[Adam Carolla]

What is. Oh, she's getting a Simply Safe.

[Gina Grad]

You will be winning a 10 piece system by Simply Safe. With all the bells and whistles and video doorbells around. 500 bucks. Mazel tov.

[Adam Carolla]

Megan.

[Brian Bishop]

Turn around, face the audience.

[Gina Grad]

Go see show people that beautiful.

[Adam Carolla]

Congratulations. You're. You're like a young Jim Morrison. Like, and then he walked on down the hall. Mean, the 10 year old will listen to that song later, mother. All right, let's see. Jimmy, do we. What do we got left?

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Let's see.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

What do we have left?

[Adam Carolla]

Well, you've had a long day. I know you have. Kyle Dunnigan is out there getting ready to come up here and do his Donald Trump. Trump and his Bill Maher. All right, well, I think Jimmy's done way more than I can go, right? Huh?

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Just have him do me and nobody will know any different.

[Adam Carolla]

I didn't hear you say.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Nah, it doesn't matter. It wasn't that funny.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm sorry.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Well, Adam, congratulations. I remember doing that first podcast with you, your very first podcast, where the audio was all screwed up and I don't know, I. If anyone did listen to it, they wrote really, really wanted to hear it because it sounded so terrible and you were so mad. Afterwards.

[Adam Carolla]

Jimmy told me a great story backstage and I thought it was so true because you guys, God willing, will learn at some point that almost everything just becomes work. No matter even if you're living your childhood dream, it still turns into work at some point. Point. And Jimmy and I were living our childhood dream. We were doing the man show and there was a bit where we got to be Playboy photographers for a day.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And we went to the studio and they had the Playmates and they were naked and we were shooting them and great looking also. Yeah, yeah. We looked hot. Yeah.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Oh, no. I mean, obviously, yeah. But them too.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. The women were beautiful. The women were naked. And we were living the dream, sort of. Duly. We were. Not only were we starring in a show that we created together, but because it was our idea. One of the ideas was become a Playmate photographer for a day. And we went back and we shot all day and we went back to the man show offices. And like, the next day or whatever the dailies came in or whatever they called it. It was time to go start the editing process and we got some news. And the news was, the news was

[Jimmy Kimmel]

there was no audio on any of the videotapes. Right. So it was useless. We couldn't use it.

[Adam Carolla]

It was useless. And what was funny is Jimmy was telling me backstage was we were both pissed when we realized we had to go back and reshoot being a player, mate. Photographer again. And I said this again? Yes. Really? That's how you know you've arrived. And I said, jimmy, that's the day my dick jumped the shark. Yeah. Yeah.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

That was a real revelation. I knew we were jaded at that point. Like, God damn it, she's gonna take off her clothes again.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, the labium minor and the major, I think. And even flat. All right, Jimmy.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Kim. Every year in December, we light the labia Menorah.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

For eight nights.

[Adam Carolla]

Jimmy Kimmel. Live ABCs. Everyone, good time, 11:35. The great Jimmy Kimmel, the one responsible for all life. Thanks, my brother. All right, Kyle. Done Again. Yeah. What time is it? I brought a watch, but it's barely reading. 850. All right, where's my. Huh? Oh, that one. Sorry, I'm looking at the wrong place. All right, let me tell you about. Let me tell you about Simply Safe while we bring Kyle Dunnigan up here. Yeah, you just got your $500 chub pack. From Simple Simplisafe. Best reviewed Home Security, the Verge and Wirecutter call it the best Reader's Choice from PC Magazine was a CNET Editor's Choice twice. Over 40,000 5 star reviews online Simplisafe protects your home round the clock 247 professional monitoring. Set it up yourself. You just peel and stick. It's got the 3M tape on it. The batteries last up to 10 years. No pulling wires, no drilling holes, no crawling in the underspace or the crawl space or the attic of the house. Protect. And if a blizzard knocks out the power, burglar cuts the landline, Wi Fi crashes. SimpliSafe still up and running. No contracts, no hidden Fees. Go to SimpliSafe.com Adam, you get the free shipping at SimpliSafe.com/Adam, Kyle Dunnigan is up here. Great to see you, Kyle.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Great to be.

[Adam Carolla]

Kyle is hysterical. And when I knew Kyle was coming here, I said, you know, he's so funny when he does Bill Maher. And, and I thought, you know, I have. I just came out with a standup special, not Taco Bell material. Thank you. Which last I checked on itunes had like 135, five star ratings out of like 160 or something. It was pretty, pretty good. But there were still some bad reviews in there and I thought, well, maybe Kyle as. As Bill Mo. Well, yeah, I'm glad you brought it up because I have a few reviews here. Okay. Well, yeah, I just thought maybe you could read a couple the bad reviews as Bill and I could sort of, I don't know, purge my system of them. Yeah, there were actually a lot of things. Okay, here's. Wait. There wasn't a lot about taking over. Okay, You've had your celebration.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Okay.

[Adam Carolla]

There wasn't a lot of which you really did deserve. You've been doing something for 10 years that literally anyone could do. A podcast. I've been doing broadcast television for 25 years. Well, you need ratings. Okay. You need to click upload on itunes. Okay, here we go. One star. This is called Old Material by Ronnie the Yo. This is the same material he has been doing for a decade. Okay, this will probably be enjoyable if you've never heard of gorilla before, which actually is most people. Okay.

[Brian Bishop]

I feel like Bill's ad libbing a little bit.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay, here's another one. Oh, one star again. Oh, well, we picked the bad ones. This isn't right. You. Yeah, I did. It sounds like a pick from. Well, it sounds, sounds like you don't believe me the way you say, oh, did you. No, I totally believe you. Well, see, there you go again. It sounds like you don't believe me. Does it? That's what I'm saying.

[Brian Bishop]

Does he sound the intonation.

[Gina Grad]

He sounds sarcastic.

[Adam Carolla]

This one's called not his best work. Okay. Better in a live show format like his podcast Loveline or Man show was really let down by his standup performance. That's not good when your stand up is worse than a show that has juggies in it. Okay, Was that one star, Bill? That was one star. Oh, here we go. Two stars. This is double the other star. But it's still bad, right?

[Brian Bishop]

Twice as good.

[Adam Carolla]

It's still very bad. It's still. It's bad as bad, though. It's double. It's better. Okay. Oh, it's double bad. Better, but it's still bad. Right. Routine started off strong. Okay. Okay, well, that's enough Good.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

But really faded towards the end. Oh. Seemed like he was searching for something to say. Not really that good. Must be a big fan to make it all the way to the end. So I guess no one finished. Oh, this is just.

[Gina Grad]

That was.

[Adam Carolla]

This is a one. These. These are haters, Bill. These are just a couple. Couple of haters. There's so many. I wouldn't say. I don't know what couple. It's just a few. There were so many great five star reviews. Couple times 10,000. Okay, well, now wait a minute. You do stand up, right? I do something different than you. My stand up has something called jokes in it, okay? Oh, no way. I don't just babble on stage for two hours. Okay, Bill, wait a minute. You haven't even seen my special. I've seen your special. I did. I saw the first five minutes. I was having trouble sleeping, so I said, let me watch this crap. It did the job. Here we go. Two stars. Oh, two stars. That's better than one. Yeah, much better. It's much worse than five though, isn't it? Yeah, well, there are many five star reviews. People just keep that in majority. We had to really searched the Internet to find a couple of bad reviews. You know, it took a while. Adam has a lot of friends that he said, please put five stars on this piece of shit. Okay? This one's called same old. So many warmed over virgins of bits he'd been doing for years. It saddens me to leave such a dismal review. Not fresh. So maybe he really is Taco Bell material. Aw, come on. You are like Taco Bell. You know, because diarrhea comes out of your mouth and when you have Taco Bell, it comes out of your. Okay, Bill, I think we've heard enough now. Maybe this isn't a good segue, but it's available at chassis2s's and a y.com and you can get it on itunes and leave a nice review.

[Brian Bishop]

Irrespective of what Bill said. I would say it's pretty darn good.

[Adam Carolla]

Thank you, Brian. I appreciate that. Bill, we're both stand up comedians. I think we have done well. Okay. No, I mean, I mean, I'm a stand up comedian. You're a stand up comedian. We both stand up. No, I'm saying we're both seasoned professional stand ups. I say jokes and you do your thing. No, minus jokes too. No, I. Look, you have your own audience, right? I have my audience. Okay. No, no, no. What do you mean, okay? I. Well, they're different. That's all I'm saying. And by the way, you just missed Sunny Natalia. Those two are awesome. Who's that? That's my boy and my girl. Twins. Those two. I've told you about those two. You like. I know it's hard for you to put that smile on your face. I know. What do you mean? I love, I love my twins. Right. No, I do. It said Natalia's awesome. She's so full of life. She's vivacious. Have they seen your stand up? I'm putting that in quotes. I know. Oh, you don't have to do quotes. I do stand up. You can just call it stand up, laugh at it. Do they? Right. Well, I, I, you know, it's kind of a mature audience thing, you know, I think they might be a little 85 year old year olds. Enjoy it. No, no, I don't mean elderly. I just mean, you know, 14, you know, 13 plus PG 13. You know what I'm saying?

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Okay.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. Yeah. You love my son. Seems like a great boy. I've never met him. He's a delight. We watch your show together. Oh, oh, really? Yes. Okay. And maybe he dreams of one day being on the panel. I'd have him anytime. You'd have any time. Right. We'll talk about, about you. Oh, yeah. No, I mean to talk about the, you know, hot topics. Right. Okay. Okay. I promise I will do this. You. Okay? You sound insincere, but is this your normal. I promise I will have your 12 year old boy on my show. All right. I feel like you're, you sound, you're intentionally insincere. No, this is your day. We're celebrating in a garage surrounded by, by machines that are killing the environment. I love it here.

[Brian Bishop]

He puts it that way. It's less celebratory. Honest.

[Gina Grad]

You don't seem very proud now.

[Adam Carolla]

Hooray. These are Porsches. Let's warm up the planet. Well, I know, I know. Donald Trump doesn't much believe in the plan.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Total lies. A hoax. All these. These Chinamen make up this hoax.

[Adam Carolla]

They made up the environmental hoax.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Snowing. How is this possible? Well, so freezing.

[Adam Carolla]

No, I. I don't think it's global warming. I think it's called climate change. You know, it's just.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

What's. So what's the difference?

[Adam Carolla]

Well, the difference is it's creating. It's not just all about it being warmer. Like, we had the coldest February in. In like 100.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Yeah, well, so what's the problem? It's cold.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

I don't get it.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I'm just saying we don't know what we're doing to the planet, and now we have to start a green new deal in order to rein in all this.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Seems okay to Trump. It seems, like, pretty okay.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it seems okay. But, I mean, you're.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

I go with my gut, not science.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I know, but we should listen to scientists.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

The gut is much more accurate.

[Adam Carolla]

Really?

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Measuring. Measuring can go. Can be off, but got never off.

[Adam Carolla]

You're. You're saying your panis is more accurate?

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

I don't know what that is. My panis. Trump has the most fantastical panace in the universe. Believe me.

[Adam Carolla]

So terrific. That's so terrific, Don Donald. That's the part of your gut that sort of hangs over your waistline.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

I thought you were saying penis.

[Adam Carolla]

No, no, panis.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Trump has a terrific panis as well.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm saying you're trusting your gut more than scientists.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

I trust my penis more than any measurements. I go with the penis.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, but can I ask you this? If you had an airplane pilot, okay, and he was landing your private jet at Mar a Lago or wherever. Drive.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Beautiful. Beautiful. No poor people anywhere near Mar Lago.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

There's a perimeter.

[Adam Carolla]

All right? Now, would you. Would you want him to look at his altimeter to check his altitude?

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

I don't know what an altimeter is confusing me.

[Adam Carolla]

Maybe we're getting in the weeds here, but what I'm saying. Mr. Trump, President Trump, what I'm saying is emperor. All right? Emperor Trump.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Look at that.

[Adam Carolla]

You're private. You have a private pilot, right? You and Melania, Okay.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

You and that old bag.

[Adam Carolla]

All right? You and hooker. Duor.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

What weird words.

[Adam Carolla]

You and your gal, okay? You and a gal.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Broad, all right?

[Adam Carolla]

You and abroad are in the back of broad.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Or in the back.

[Adam Carolla]

You're in the back of a Lear jet.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Learning jet 747.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, I'm sorry.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Jets are for poor people, okay? Very poor people fly around in their jets.

[Adam Carolla]

All right? I'm sorry, You're. You're an Air Force One.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

I could throw a football in my plane.

[Adam Carolla]

Really?

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Can you throw a football in your plane?

[Adam Carolla]

I could, but the Southwest flight attendant would toss me off the 7:30.

[Brian Bishop]

It's frowned upon.

[Adam Carolla]

It's frowned upon. Yeah. Okay. Okay, so you're in airport.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Kick a small bit, baby, across your plane. It would not even hit a wall.

[Brian Bishop]

Wait, it sounds like you've done that. That's a very specific detail. Twice.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Two babies.

[Adam Carolla]

So hold on. You're. You're in Air Force One?

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

That piece of crap.

[Adam Carolla]

And you have. Yeah, it's nice. It.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

The. The faucets aren't even gold.

[Adam Carolla]

No, I know, but. But it's. They're brushed. Brushed nickel. It's a good. It's a very good luck. Okay, so listen, your pilot taking us

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

forever to tell the story.

[Adam Carolla]

He's flying you into Florida, right? You're going to Mar a Lago, right?

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Beautiful.

[Adam Carolla]

Beautiful. Okay, he's landing. Would you like him to look at the gauges for altitude and air speed and things of that nature, or would you like him to trust his gut?

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

See here. Trust the gut.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. See, this is. It took a long time to get here, but I'm trying to illustrate.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

He doesn't have a trump gut. Okay. The trump gut is.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, he's got to have a trump gut.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Solid gold gut.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, I see. So he's trusting a sort of mortal person's regular.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

He has a regular, normal dumb gut.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

So, you know, I could buy the plan.

[Adam Carolla]

So you don't want all the dummies to trust their guts, Right? Trust your gut.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

That's right. Trump got Trump got vote. Trump got 2020. Trump got center of the Trump. Best gut in the universe.

[Adam Carolla]

Max Apato. Do we have something. I wanted to do with Trump? I can't remember what we.

[Brian Bishop]

Blah, blah, blah.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

What if we just bow to our leader? Is that something.

[Adam Carolla]

We can bow to you? But I think he had.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Can we do a. With some weapons?

[Adam Carolla]

I'm gonna check.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

That'd be so terrific.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm gonna tell everyone about Kyle Dunigan. By the way, his instagram @Kyle Dunnigan1. You can also see him live March 13th. When is that? That's coming. That's three. Tomorrow. Yeah, yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

A couple days from now.

[Adam Carolla]

A couple days from now. The Kyle Dunnigan experience. That's at least Largo and Nick Kroll and Sarah Silverman are going to be there. Natasha Lagero. All of my. All of my favorites. All terrific and all there. All right, shall we do a little news? And Trump can hang out if he likes.

[Gina Grad]

And, oh, it would be an honor, President, for you to stay for News

[Adam Carolla]

with G. Breaking viral. All those crazy Trump tweets. Give me News with Gina Grad. Trouble in the Middle East, Celebrity drunk meltdown. Seek News with Gina. Gina, the News with Gina Grad.

[Brian Bishop]

The front row sang along with that song. I want these people removed.

[Gina Grad]

That was great.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, can't trust them.

[Gina Grad]

Adam, I know you like to be on your feet, but you might want to sit down for this first story because. Because I have some very, very bad news. Actor Jan Michael Vincent, the Airwolf television star who led a glamorous but troubled life, has died. He was 73. The death certificate shows that Vincent died of cardiac arrest on February 10th.

[Brian Bishop]

Took a while for the news to break.

[Gina Grad]

It did in a North Carolina hospital. No autopsy was performed. It wasn't clear why it took a few weeks for his death to surface, but it took.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

It did.

[Gina Grad]

Now, remember, for those of you who aren't giant Jan Michael Vincent fans, and I can't imagine there's anyone here, he starred in such films as 1972's The Mechanic, 1978's Hooper, in which he played a stuntman.

[Adam Carolla]

Don't sleep on Hooper. Yeah. The mechanic was Charles Bronson, I think was the mechanic.

[Gina Grad]

Of course it was.

[Adam Carolla]

Now just be a squatty Mexican guy who put your seat too far forward. Forward. But back then, it was a cool dude with a mustache who kicked ass. Right? Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

His handsomeness earned him a spot on the Cosmetic Surgeon's 10 Best Noses list of the 70s.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah. However, things were not always rosy for Vincent. Here's a quick highlight reel of some of his troubles. He pled guilty in 1997 to drunk driving. It left him with a broken neck. He was sentenced to a rehab program. Program. He was charged in the 80s with bar room brawls. In a separate case, he was acquitted in 1986 of hitting a woman.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't hold a barroom brawl against the guy. I feel like that's a feather in your cat. We should all have one good bar room brawl.

[Brian Bishop]

Instigating a bar room brawl. That's a bragging, right?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Also, if you think about bar room furniture, it is simultaneously the most durable stuff on the planet because. Because 200,000 asses have to sit on it a year. And also the most brittle because if you pick it up. You can break it over anyone's head. It's just every single barroom brawl I've ever seen on a western, on a TV show. The guy at some point picks a chair up, smashes it over another guy's head, and it disintegrates. Like it turns.

[Brian Bishop]

It vaporizes.

[Adam Carolla]

It turns into powder. Yes. The bottles are. Are all made of sugar. The. The. The furniture is all made of balsa wood.

[Gina Grad]

Yep.

[Adam Carolla]

So I don't see what the problem is with a bar room bra.

[Gina Grad]

Okay, we'll give him that one.

[Adam Carolla]

And by the way, if you see the movie Hooper, there is a great bar room brawl. In the movie Hooper.

[Gina Grad]

We're on it. He was sentenced to 60 days in jail in 2000 when he violated his probation by appearing drunk and in public and punching his then girlfriend.

[Adam Carolla]

No, Jan. You can't do that. It's a boy named Jan. Yeah, exactly.

[Gina Grad]

So he, as Adam would say, he will be missed.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

What did she do, though? Look, there's two sides.

[Adam Carolla]

President Trump.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Two sides.

[Gina Grad]

There's a. There's a chance she got mouthy.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

She was a little mouthy.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, you mean for a living, right? Yeah, she's probably a waitress or publicist or something, Pop.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Okay, well.

[Adam Carolla]

No, you mean what did she do for work?

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

No, I mean what'd she do to get to get punched in the face?

[Adam Carolla]

Hold on, Donald. Nobody does anything to get punched.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Well, I mean, maybe she was a little mouthy, as Gina says. Maybe she was.

[Brian Bishop]

That would not be justification.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

I didn't know when to, you know, close the trap sort of thing, you know?

[Adam Carolla]

Well, look, I don't care if you're mouthy or you've been eyeballing your man or whatever it is. There's never an excuse to hit a woman.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Huh?

[Adam Carolla]

I'm saying you can't.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Funny guy. This is why. This is why he's the best. Funny guy. Okay, Gina, go ahead.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, but you can't punch. You cannot punch a woman.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

She's far away. No, no, she's like, out of the distance.

[Adam Carolla]

No, I'm not talking about range arms, okay?

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

I have very long arms, okay?

[Adam Carolla]

I'm not saying there's no punching of women.

[Brian Bishop]

He's saying you should, you should. You should never.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm not saying you should.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

I'm just saying there's two sides, okay? We heard one side. We heard the punch, okay?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. I'm just saying it's. It's probably, you know, if you're running for reelection, it's probably not a good angle.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

What I'M saying is I shouldn't run on this.

[Adam Carolla]

No, no, I'm saying don't run on this.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Okay. Okay.

[Adam Carolla]

Bad optics.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Okay.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. All right, so Jan Michael Vinson. Gone.

[Gina Grad]

Gone.

[Adam Carolla]

Jan Brady still alive.

[Gina Grad]

Correct.

[Adam Carolla]

There is no God. There's no God. Can I say this apropos of nothing, but I saw an ant in my bathroom this morning. And it was like wandering up the wall alone. And I did that move where I'm like, I got an ant. And then I was like, I gotta kill this ant. Because we've all decided that the loan is. Ant is a scout.

[Gina Grad]

Right?

[Adam Carolla]

But maybe he's a drunken hobo, disoriented ant. It's not like you see a guy wandering around the street, walking in a half circle, and you go, that guy's a scout. You go, that guy's peaked out on basil, so doesn't know where he is. Right.

[Gina Grad]

He has no posse.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

The ant could be out after a long night. Could have had, you know, a tough night. Walking it off, stumbling, trying to find a keys. You can't take that chance.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I can't. I can't. But by the way, when he gets back to the. The hill or the hive or the pod or wherever he gets to, what does he tell the rest of the ants? Like, hey, there's a bathroom with nothing in it. Come on. Like, you know what I mean?

[Brian Bishop]

No sugar.

[Adam Carolla]

It's not like there's. I got a pig in the ground. There's just. It's just a bathrobe.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

There's.

[Adam Carolla]

There's like a couple of multivitamins laying around. Like, there is nothing. Why would you report back to.

[Brian Bishop]

Katie's gonna have nothing to report. You got to figure there's another scout in the kitchen, though. He's the one who's got guys, great news.

[Adam Carolla]

And are we too impressed with their strength? Like, when they go, they can lift 20 times their own, so. Yeah, they don't weigh anything. You ever see a super skinny guy and he just pops off like 25 chin ups and you go big, whoa. I bet you couldn't bench a buck 40. You know what I mean? Yeah, it's too easy. I'm saying we're a little impressed with ants.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

I like to wound the ant. So he goes back and he's wounded. Oh, he tells the story. Don't go in there.

[Adam Carolla]

Send a message. That's right.

[Gina Grad]

Tell the world.

[Adam Carolla]

How do you wound an ant?

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

They just take one leg off.

[Adam Carolla]

Just one?

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Just one.

[Adam Carolla]

You get out your jewelers to him.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

So he shows everybody look what they.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, like. Yeah, like when a bookie, like, takes a pinky off and now. Now a message is sent. Right.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Sometimes I'll mail the leg.

[Adam Carolla]

You mail the leg back to the hill. Yeah, back to the ant hill to send a message.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Two stamps.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, two stamps. Yeah, but you don't want it returned. I get it.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

That's right.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, that's right.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

You don't want an ant leg coming back to you.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Un. Terrific.

[Adam Carolla]

And what do you do with a ladybug? Punch it.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Yeah. Yeah. I had to think about that.

[Adam Carolla]

I feel like that was my idea. All right, I'm sorry, G. No problem.

[Gina Grad]

Well, the producers of the Simpsons are removing a classic episode that featured the voice of Michael Jackson. I know, right? The action follows, of course, HBO's broadcast of leaving Neverland in which two men alleged Jackson sexually abused them as children. And this was the 1991 Stark Raving dad episode, which I'm sure you've all seen. Jackson voiced a character who claims to be Jackson and who meets Homer Simpson in a mental institution. The singer is listed in the credits as John J. Smith. The episode will be removed from streaming services and future DVD sets.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

That's ignorant.

[Gina Grad]

Ignorant.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I. Look, this is basically, I file this under the assholes with the coexist bumper stickers on their fucking Priuses. Like, if it made a goddamn difference, I'd be all for it.

[Brian Bishop]

Like, problems does this solve?

[Adam Carolla]

If One member of ISIS, like, laid down his AK47 at the fucking Whole Foods in Santa Monica because he saw the back of your precious car, I'd be all for it. But instead it's you just beaten off into a ceiling fan. Just you just like, hey, everybody, look at me. Look at me. Look at me.

[Gina Grad]

Is that a moment too soon? Thirty years after the allegations, seen the

[Adam Carolla]

episodes, like, at a certain point, we're going to have to do the ultimate justice, which is it's not going to be enough that we've torn down the statues or that we've gotten rid of the paintings or gotten rid of. I mean, like, even. There's, like, colleges getting. Getting rid of pictures of great composers and, And, And. And. And all the. All the. All the greats. I can't think of right now.

[Gina Grad]

All the Wagners.

[Adam Carolla]

All the Wagners. No, but even. Even. All right, we'll work it. Yeah. Blazing Saddles. Everything, like, everything's gone. But here's all. Here's all I'm saying. Soon we'll.

[Brian Bishop]

We'll.

[Adam Carolla]

We will have purged all of this and it.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

All.

[Adam Carolla]

It'll all be gone. Towards, torn down, put away. We'll hang a sheet over the Shakespeare painting. That's what's right. But it's still going to be alive in our brain.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

And we're going to need to purge it from our brains. Like, at some point, Alexandria Ocasio Cortez's daughter is going to show up and go, I need to remove things from your brain. Not now. Just go. About 35 years from now. Now. And she's going to go, I got to get all those thoughts that you saw. Because if you think about it, you brought up this episode. I p. I saw every frame of this episode in my head when you said it. So ultimate. So it's always here. I mean, it's. It's like you can tear down all the statues you want. Tell that to the victims of mj. And we've all imbibed all of this stuff they want us to remove. It's all in our. Our heads, really. The only way to do it is full lobotomies.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

Sounds like a plan.

[Brian Bishop]

Eternal sunshine style.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Yeah. Well, what. What's next? I mean, if you think about it, we're just going to keep going. You have to remove the memory from everyone's head.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay. Awesome.

[Gina Grad]

Memento. Well, a new study breaks down exactly what kind of liquor you drink, depending on your political affiliation. So let me just break this down for you, see if this rings true.

[Adam Carolla]

Donald, you don't drink, right?

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Yeah, I drink some.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, you do?

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

I thought, you know, you don't drink.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

No, I tell people that. But to take the edge off, I'll throw back a few.

[Adam Carolla]

What do you. What's your weapon of choice?

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Whiskey.

[Adam Carolla]

Whiskey. I thought your brother. Wait, your brother drank a lot.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Yeah. Yeah, he was a real boozer.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. And then you saw what that did to him.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. So you didn't drink? I thought that was a story.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

I tell people that. Oh, it's a good story. Oh, I learned my lesson from my brother.

[Adam Carolla]

Right, Right.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

I'll never do that again.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

It's so fun, but I'll just never do it.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. Yeah. Oh, so you do drink.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Yeah, of course. Cocaine, Heroin.

[Adam Carolla]

Jesus.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Molly.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Molly.

[Adam Carolla]

You do it all.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

All that B salts. Love it.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow. What the hell is going on?

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

A good time.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay, so you do. So maybe that. That suggests some of your. Some of your. Some of your thoughts.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

I think I tweeted it like this. If I was sober.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, no, you're right. You're right, you're right. You're right, it makes sense. It was confusing when you didn't do drugs.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Right, right, yeah, sorry.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, he got you there.

[Adam Carolla]

Tell. So.

[Gina Grad]

So here's basically how they say it breaks down. If you're partial to Michelob Ultra Keystone Light, you're probably a Republican. And if you prefer whiskey or bourbon or scotch, you're probably also pretty conservative. However, if you're super into white wine, a real white wine enthusiast, you're probably a Democrat. And if you're really far left, you love your country. Cognac?

[Adam Carolla]

Really? Did not. Did not know that.

[Brian Bishop]

Is there a racial component to that?

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know. What are the brothers String?

[Gina Grad]

What was the over under on bringing that up? I asked my boyfriend that earlier.

[Adam Carolla]

I thought there were Courvoisier guys.

[Brian Bishop]

Is there a difference? Am I right?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it's. Wow, that's interesting. I haven't had a glass of white wine in like, like 19 years. I may have.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, that explains so much.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I don't know. I don't know why.

[Brian Bishop]

What happened to you, man? You used to be a white wine drinker?

[Adam Carolla]

Well, it doesn't stain my teeth. All right. Donald, you. You do drink?

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Oh yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

You drink everything.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

I've had a few before I came up here.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh really?

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, maybe, maybe that there's something to the. Maybe that's why you're punching women. Maybe you're drunk and. Huh.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

I was just saying this two sides, that's all.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, you're saying.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Yeah, you don't punch a woman. You don't, you know, you don't can.

[Adam Carolla]

What's that again?

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Never. Okay. Trump. Never ever punches a woman unless you know.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay. Okay, so punch. Work on one. On one side. I hear you saying you never ever punch a woman under any circumstances.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Absolutely never. Trump would never punch a woman.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Okay. Unless you know.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, again.

[Adam Carolla]

Wait, you keep saying that at the end.

[Brian Bishop]

That's a qualifier.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Right, right, right. I keep everything on the table.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay, so you never punch a woman.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Never. Come on.

[Adam Carolla]

End of discussion.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

I'm insulted you even say that I would punch a woman unless, you know, she did something that annoyed me.

[Adam Carolla]

If you know, I think you're qualifying it. I think you should just ended it. I would never punch a woman.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

That's right.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Unless you know.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh God. All right, let me tell you about butcher box everyone Good delivers healthy 100% grass fed and finished beef, free range organic chicken and heritage free pork directly to your door on a monthly basis. They have a new protein. Just tried this by the way. Wild Alaskan Sockeye salmon, sustainably harvested from Bristol Bay, Alaska. The color tells you it's fresh. It's not factory farmed. All products are humanely raised and never given antibiotics or hormones. The taste is unbelievable. They have free shipping anywhere in the US except for Alaska and Hawaii. No commitment. You cancel easily at any time and have a special offer. New subscribers get 20 bucks off plus 2 pounds of free free ground beef for life by going to ButcherBox.com entering the code Adam at checkout. That is ButcherBox.com. enter the code Adam. All right, Gina, what else?

[Gina Grad]

Well, a California family was extremely upset after they learned that their grandfather didn't have long to live and they got the news from the hospital robot. Instead of coming in in person, the Kaiser Permanente Hospital Permanente Permanente sent in a robot with the doctor's face on the viewing screen to give the bad news. And to make the situation worse, the volume on the robot was too low, so the patient's wife, who's hard of hearing, had to continue to have it re explained to her over and over again because she couldn't hear what the doctor was saying. The hospital apologized to the family.

[Adam Carolla]

This is insane. This lack of humanity is insane. Did they make a divorce? Robots.

[Gina Grad]

I'll look.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, wait. We could use the same robots.

[Brian Bishop]

Where do you ask that?

[Gina Grad]

The bad news robot.

[Brian Bishop]

The bad news robot.

[Gina Grad]

All sorts of bad news.

[Brian Bishop]

I mean, I suppose you can do

[Adam Carolla]

anything with the robot. So, so sad how we've sucked the humanity out of. Out of relationships and out of life. But they do have the divorce on. Yeah. Okay, interesting. So the robot came in, it's. It wheeled itself in, said to grandpa,

[Gina Grad]

grandpa's on borrowed time.

[Adam Carolla]

Huh. And what then, like, when it cries, do bolts come out of its tear ducts? Is it ball bearings? They shed a few ball bearings. Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

They cut a few wires or what?

[Adam Carolla]

Someone's gonna sue somebody, right?

[Gina Grad]

Well, the hospital apologized. They promised to evaluate the procedures for delivering bad news to patients. It shan't happen again.

[Adam Carolla]

Can we put that. Like, can we put the robot on administrative leave?

[Gina Grad]

Oh, yeah, put it in the rubber room.

[Brian Bishop]

Just think about what it's done.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, we're gonna have to, you know, dock the robot or maybe garnish its

[Gina Grad]

wages or at least go to sensitivity training.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, like, put it. Put a strike on his permanent record. And he can. When we pull the robot file in a few years, we'll see what this robot's been up to. Does this robot share other new. Like, that'd be fun. I mean, it just pulls into, like, bathrooms and tells people they're fat. You're going to break the toilet.

[Brian Bishop]

It's a heckler.

[Gina Grad]

It's a heckler robot in the delivery ward. It's a boy.

[Brian Bishop]

Let's have the robot do some one cell reviews of not Taco Bell material.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, Donald. Yeah, you with the economy and everything, you know, so terrific. It's going good now.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

It's never been better.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, it is, it's. The economy is strong, but people are worried about robots and automation and.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Very scary, huh? Very scary.

[Adam Carolla]

Scary.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Right, Robots.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

I'm starting a military force to fight the robots.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, yeah, space shield or something, but

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

those are robots, which is weird.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, but here's. I. I want to put your feet to the fire. But you say we need to build a wall, right? To stop big, beautiful wall. Big, beautiful wall to stop illegals from coming in here and taking American jobs. But then what about robots?

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Well, look, first of all, I have a more humane thing to do for the border. I'm gonna dig a big ditch. Just put him in there. Put a beautiful trump ditch. Solid gold ditch.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

We just sort of push him in gently. Very gently. Push them all in there, you know, throw some food down there with it.

[Adam Carolla]

What about the mothers and their kids have been separate. Go together with the mothers and the kids.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

The mothers of the kids.

[Adam Carolla]

And the robots in the ditch with the robot.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Right. Everybody get in the ditch.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Trust. Ditch.

[Brian Bishop]

A solid gold ditch. Be very expensive. Very expensive.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Beautiful salad. Go Trump.

[Gina Grad]

Ditch the burden on the taxpayers.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

No, Mexico pays for the gold.

[Adam Carolla]

They favor solid gold.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Trust me, it'll happen.

[Adam Carolla]

It's gonna happen.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Oh, yeah?

[Adam Carolla]

How do we get them to pay for it?

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

They got a bunch of gold down there. They're hiding it. Those people, they hide things. They're very sneaky. Very. So sticky.

[Adam Carolla]

So sneaky. I didn't know they were sneaky.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Very snow sticky.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay. All right. So they're going to pay for it, right?

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

All right. I don't think they're going to pay for it.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

TRUMP Ditch 2020.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay. All right.

[Gina Grad]

So we have trump gut and trump ditch.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

So the robot delivered the bad news.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah. Wheeled itself on in and said, grandpa's dead.

[Adam Carolla]

If you had to go in and tell a family a loved one was dying, wouldn't you rather just record it onto a chip and tell the robot to do it?

[Brian Bishop]

It's like the end of up in the Air, that movie that we like,

[Adam Carolla]

you know, where they.

[Brian Bishop]

They start firing people over, you know, television the same way.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. The Clooney movie. Right.

[Gina Grad]

And it just rolls back out.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

Homer Simpson receding into the bushes.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I think I would like that. I, you know, like when someone breaks up with you. Yeah. You want. I want to be over the phone. People say they do it in person, but I like. Actually, is it weird I'm talking with my normal voice?

[Gina Grad]

We don't like, we don't like this, this guy.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, wait a minute.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

You know, I think I like that.

[Adam Carolla]

No, it's weird because we can all agree, like, everyone goes, I don't want to be broken up with over the phone. But what if you applied that to many bad things, like traffic accidents. Like, I don't want to get in a head on collision over the phone. Like, I'd like to do everything bad over the phone.

[Brian Bishop]

Sure.

[Adam Carolla]

That's. That's me.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't want to be a stranger, you know, in the room telling me something personal. I like the robot thing. I like the robot thing too.

[Gina Grad]

A fax comes over the wire.

[Brian Bishop]

I'd like.

[Adam Carolla]

A fax would be even better.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

You're gonna die. Okay. Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

Stop. Full stop.

[Adam Carolla]

Get back to carrier pigeon.

[Gina Grad]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

Or just regular pigeons. Well, they have all those pets to cheer everyone up.

[Haley Joel Osment]

You're right.

[Brian Bishop]

You're right. The server, the actual service dog, the comfort dogs.

[Gina Grad]

And remember we did the story a while back back. The. The cat of death that would go sleep on people's beds in the nursing home and that person would die the next day.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

Turns out it was like smelling death on people.

[Adam Carolla]

Very macabre.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, you start like decomposing while you're alive, like having gangrene or something.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah. You get a head start.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, sorry.

[Gina Grad]

Moving on. Shall we? Police in Florida say a woman was arrested this week for allegedly shooting her boyfriend. Boyfriend. Because he was snoring.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, this is my favorite story.

[Haley Joel Osment]

He went.

[Adam Carolla]

Shot a man for snoring. Yeah. Time Laugh Books. We offer a whole series of Time Laugh Books. Now you could examine gunslingers for just 1995 made an authentic genuine imitation leather. Like I remember when I was nine going, what is genuine imitation leather bound in beautiful. And you can display these books. And they had the, they had the one where he goes. That bank robbers. No, lady, that's Jesse James. And they have like, I'm dressed up. But one was the guy. He's so mean. He shot a man just for snoring. And first off, never go camping with that guy.

[Brian Bishop]

That's very mean.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I don't, I don't know which One of the Dalton boys that was. But he shot a guy for snoring and it was in, in the book. So this wife, she must have had

[Gina Grad]

the Encyclopedia Britannica and took a page because 47 year old Lori Morin was charged with attempted murder and aggravated battery.

[Adam Carolla]

Can I, can we agree with this?

[Gina Grad]

Oh, no, that's not one of the Dalton boys. We're looking.

[Adam Carolla]

Can we agree with this? You don't get to shoot people for snoring in their sleep, but you do get to shoot them once you wake them up and, and go, hey man, you're snoring. And they go, I don't snore. Then we get to shoot you.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Right?

[Adam Carolla]

Because now that's self defense. Yeah, like this. Justifiable. That's an attack.

[Brian Bishop]

Can't be trusted.

[Gina Grad]

There's not a court in the land.

[Adam Carolla]

So what you're suggesting I do is I randomly wake people up at 4:30 in the morning and go, hey man, you're snoring. Like, I don't snore. Do you know what that makes me? That makes me the worst person on the fucking planet. That I just randomly shake people out of a deep, clean go, hey man, you're snoring. I love the notion, like if you do, if you reverse engineer that part where they go, I don't snore, they're essentially accusing you of randomly waking them up and accusing them of snoring.

[Brian Bishop]

And what would be the benefit of that?

[Adam Carolla]

And also what do you do? Oh, I got to set my alarm for 4 3, 13 so I can get up and tell my partner they've been snoring when they haven't been. No, we were staring at the ceiling and trying to do everything we could do to avoid waking you up before we woke you up.

[Brian Bishop]

That's a last resort. Usually a little poke, a little sh. You know, like a little shift. Yeah, pet their hair gently.

[Adam Carolla]

We should program robots to kill snoring people. We should have robots tell people they should snore. That is the biggest denial move ever. I don't snore. I fucking owned it. Like once in a million years ago, Lynette woke me up and she said, you're snoring. And I said, good, it means I'm asleep. And I went right back. I went right back under. But I owned it quick. I owned it. All right, let's do one more.

[Gina Grad]

Well, for the most of you who thought there were no Blockbuster Videos left, you're wrong. There is now one Blockbuster Video left on the planet and it's in Bend, Oregon. Yeah, it's officially the last one now that the last one in Australia shuttered its windows.

[Adam Carolla]

I did the math on the pussycat theaters. Many years ago, there were many pussycat theaters. These were adult theaters. And they would run these trips xxx movies. And guys would show up at these movies with a whole bunch of other dude strangers and watch pornography in a group. Now, every single one of them won under with the advent of home videos and VHS and blah, blah, blah. But one is still in existence, and that's the one on Santa Monica in Boys Town. So there is a chance that things. Things can exist as long as they go gay. So if this gay blockbuster. Gay blockbuster trump. That makes sense to you, right? You have many gay friends?

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

No, I don't. I don't know any gay people.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, but. But you say you have many gay friends.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Yeah, I say it.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, but you don't have.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

No, of course I don't. Well, gay friends.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, you have many employees or gay. Many your colleagues are gay?

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Yes, I have a screening process.

[Adam Carolla]

Many people you've worked with over the years in the development goose egg. All the projects and all the, all the.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

I've had hundreds of thousands of straight

[Adam Carolla]

people working all the, all the developmental projects were the. Well, what about when you make a casino, right? And you have to design the interior

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

of the casino and make it very heterosexual.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, really?

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Yes. My designs repel the gays.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, really?

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

You don't have a gay guy come in and do the decorating?

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

I, I. No, no, no, no. Just straight girls.

[Gina Grad]

Who choreographs the dancing fountains outside?

[Adam Carolla]

You.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

What's that?

[Gina Grad]

Who choreographs all the dancing fountains outside?

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Dancing fountains? What are you talking about?

[Adam Carolla]

You've never met a gay man?

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Never.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay. You don't even think by accident.

[Gina Grad]

I just.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

It's a hoax. Huh? It's a hoax.

[Adam Carolla]

A hoax?

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, there's a gay hoax?

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Yeah. There's no gay people. This is coming from my gut again,

[Adam Carolla]

you saying like climate change.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

Homosexuality is just a hoax.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Total hoax. Zero gay people.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, wait a minute. Anderson Cooper, I think, skate very straight.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

I know him very straight, loves girls.

[Adam Carolla]

John Lemon, very mean. Really? Yes, I think some. I don't think this.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Agree to disagree.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

There are no gay people.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay. I, I think. But what about lesbians?

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Oh, there's tons of those. That's not gay, though. That's hot.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, okay.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Yeah. That's not gay.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I still think it's technically gay.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

No, no. Lesbianism. Not gay.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay. I'm sorry about that.

[Brian Bishop]

What about Clay Aiken? He finished second on the Apprentice.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Clay.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Yeah, we talked about broads. Meet Clay.

[Adam Carolla]

You did?

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

You did? Yeah, I was on that season. I don't remember you guys talking about.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Bro, we talked about broads.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay. All right.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Very manly.

[Adam Carolla]

So, Clay, not gay.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Very manly.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay. Well, I got to tell you, when we were traveling around, there were Claymates chasing us around everywhere.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

So it adds up, you know, he's always banging broads. Clay Bacon always. Believe me. Believe me.

[Adam Carolla]

Always banking. Okay, I believe you.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Okay.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, let me tell you quickly about Castrol Edge. Stronger under pressure. Castrol Edge engines can lose up to 10% of performance due to friction. Castrol Edge with fluid titanium technology. Three times. Three times, fool. Three times stronger against viscosity breakdown than the leading full synthetic. Not one, not two, but Castrol Edge formulated in ways that always exceed the toughest industry standards. All right, let's do one more. Gina grad.

[Gina Grad]

All right. Well, doctors now have a better understanding of what happens to us when we die. And many believe your brain may stay alive long enough after your death to actually realize you're dead. It seems that the.

[Adam Carolla]

Really?

[Gina Grad]

According to the New York Post, it seems that you can still be brain active for up to 20 seconds. That means for 20 seconds, you're hanging out prisoner in your own lifeless body, listening to conversations by doctors and loved ones talking about you being dead.

[Adam Carolla]

You'll have 20 seconds. Well, five seconds will be, I miss my kids. And then 15 seconds will be, I should have punched that goddamn robot when I had a chance.

[Brian Bishop]

The robot was right.

[Adam Carolla]

I could still use my fists. I should have punched that stupid robot.

[Brian Bishop]

So the lucky ones got their brains blown out.

[Adam Carolla]

What's that?

[Brian Bishop]

The lucky ones have their brains blown out.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, right.

[Brian Bishop]

They die instantly, have no brain to,

[Adam Carolla]

you know, process the guillotine. You're in that basket.

[Gina Grad]

They get to finish their silver soliloquy.

[Brian Bishop]

There are anecdotal stories that, you know, people blink, you know, after heavy headings, things like that. Sorry to get morbid on you guys, but it's.

[Adam Carolla]

It's.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

It's.

[Brian Bishop]

The story is great.

[Gina Grad]

I feel like you're the one person who's allowed to.

[Adam Carolla]

The basket seems a little casual for heads. You know what I mean? Oh, you want something more durable. It's basically a glorified hamper, but it's for, like, noble people's heads.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Right?

[Adam Carolla]

It's kind of a weird thing, like, in a world where, like, a spittoon is much nicer than A basket that heads go into every movie I've ever seen with the guillotine. It's just a wicker basket. Yeah. It's porous. The blood would go through it. The blood would go through it. It would stain easily.

[Brian Bishop]

At least a nice salad bowl or like a lay creuset. You know what I mean?

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Trump. Solid gold. Basket, head, basket, basketball.

[Adam Carolla]

What I'm saying is, Trump. I just watched my daughter play volleyball. She's playing volleyball on a basketball court, and she's wearing $75 volleyball shoes that I had to buy her to play on a basketball court when she could have just worn sneakers, because that's what they use on that court. So I'm saying in a world of specialization, we have something for everything. Just have having the wicker hamper basket for the heads of the nobleman. This feels a little catch as catch can.

[Gina Grad]

It's undignified.

[Adam Carolla]

It's casual.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

There should be something. Or we should. We should keep the merriment going. Like, there should be a big pe. Pot with, like, crazy rats or something in it, and they should attack the head. Jesus.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

It should be that thing where it hits like a domino and then that hits something else.

[Adam Carolla]

That's a rub Goldberg Rubber again.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

What's that thing called?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, the head. The head rolls. It strikes a match. The match lights a fuse. That's right. And whatever it is, it ends up with the next fall of the guillotine. So we have to. We have to hurry the next guy in. Right.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

And the head knows for 20 seconds how cool it is.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Why not make this some real, like, sort of whole family entertainment instead of just, you know, cleansing out parliament in the French Revolution or whatever we're doing.

[Brian Bishop]

This can be fun.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

You're wasting a good role.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Just roll across, it strikes a match. The match lights a fuse. The fuse goes up, fires a rocket in the air. It hits one of those bells with the, you know, the strongman competition. And at some point, the game balloons.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Just take the head up to.

[Gina Grad]

Up to the heavens.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right. Oh, man.

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Beautiful.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, one more. Gina Grant.

[Gina Grad]

All right, well, let's just stay with the macabre, shall we?

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Gina Grad]

Traffic on a Bay Area freeway came to a stop recently after one California family chose to honor a recently deceased loved one by throwing wads of cash out the window of the car on the freeway. One relative described the this as an Oakland thing.

[Brian Bishop]

Brian, Is there any truth in that?

[Adam Carolla]

Is this a black thing?

[Gina Grad]

They said it's an Oakland thing.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, that.

[Brian Bishop]

That means the Black thing.

[Gina Grad]

And threw $500 out the window that belonged to the deceased. Those were his wishes.

[Adam Carolla]

I got to say, brothers, when you're doing that move where you're dumping somebody or 40 on the ground, address the

[Brian Bishop]

people in the audience.

[Adam Carolla]

Sorry, my brothers. That broke over. You dumped a little cognac on the ground for your fallen brother. I was not down with. I do not like the dumping of booze onto the soil. I don't. Careful how great the guy was. But this balling up cash that we could use to buy booze. You guys have jumped the shark.

[Brian Bishop]

That's absurd.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Gina Grad]

Apparently the freeways were blocked for a while. People leaving their cars in the middle of traffic because ones are raining down from the heavens.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, you know what move I miss I haven't seen in a move in a movie in a million years? The move where you rob a bank. And, like, you're on this. You're a foot chase. And you're like running through Harlem. You're going through that neighborhood and there's everyone on the street, and you. You knock over the Asian guy with the green grocer cart, you know, and you run the cops on foot chasing him. That part at some point where you take a bundle of twenties, you bust the paper ribbon off it, you just chuck it in the air. And all the people running around, chaos. And the cop has to stop. They can't find you in the crowd. That was a hot scene. That's a good movie scene. That they never do anymore.

[Gina Grad]

You should add that to your list.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm gonna add that to my max pat. Add that to my list of things I want to do. That include jumping into a body of water with a knife in my mouth. Not long ways. I'm not an idiot. Serrated side out. Think about jumping. That's what Tarzan used to do. He'd, like, put the knife in his mouth and he'd just jump into the water. Like, can you think of a word? I'd rather put the knife halfway in my and do a cannonball than put it in my mouth and go head first. Wouldn't you?

[Donald Trump (Impersonator)]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

He doesn't make sense.

[Brian Bishop]

The only benefit must be that it looks cool. Because it's not as though a knife, a super sharp pointy object would prevent you from diving into a body of water.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Brian Bishop]

I think it's gonna, you know, help you go a little farther.

[Adam Carolla]

Put in your sock.

[Brian Bishop]

Or just hold it.

[Adam Carolla]

Or just hold it. I think it's there to scare alligators. Like, the alligator goes, that guy's crazy. I'm getting out of here. I'm going onto the shore. This guy's putting a knife in his mouth before he turns, jumps into this river with us. That guy's nuts. It's like fighting a junkie on the street. Like, don't do it. You know, you could beat him, but the alligators are like, I don't want to get hep C. Too messy. Yeah, too messy. I'm sorry, Gina Grad. Let's bring it home.

[Gina Grad]

You got it. I'm Gina Grad and that's the news.

[Adam Carolla]

Gina. That was the news with Gina Grad. Last but not least, got Geico. Everyone's got a to do list. How about you add save hundreds of dollars on your car insurance so you don't have to go anywhere. Pick anything up. Just go to geico.com 15minutes. You could be saving 15% or more on your auto insurance. Take that extra money put in your pocket, save it up. Buy this Gulf Livery 917 Porsche behind us. That is worth probably 35 million million dollars. Yes, I'd say between 30 and 55. How about that at Geico. That's Geico.com. take that extra money put in your [e-mail]. all right. I want to thank Kyle Dunnigan for coming in here.

[Jimmy Kimmel]

Thank you.

[Adam Carolla]

Very good, Very funny. Check him out at large. That's coming up March 13th. Kyle up on stage for the Kyle Dunnigan Experience. That's right up the street here. If you're out in LA, hit him up on Instagram @Kyle Dunnigan1 as well. And check that out. And of course, the great Jimmy Kimmel, ABC 11:35 in the evening. Thank you for 10 years and intelligence. Next time, this Adam Kroll for Kyle Dunnigan and Jimmy Kimmel and Gina Grad and Ball Bryan. Say it. Mahalo. All right, that was Adam Kroll Show 2526 with Jimmy Kimmel, Kyle Dunnigan, Gina

[Brian Bishop]

Grad, and Brian Bishop.

[Adam Carolla]

That does it for today's cruel classics.

[Brian Bishop]

Make sure to tune tomorrow for an all new installment.

[Adam Carolla]

Until then, mahalo and get it on. We've been the trusted experts since 1960 because nobody knows tires better than we do. And with over 90 tire brands, we have an abundance of options in stock for your vehicle. Buy and drive today at discounttire. Com. Let's get you taken care of.