Kelsey Grammer on Trump, Newsom Running for President, and Malibu Fire Updates

Summary

The Adam Carolla Show
Episode: Kelsey Grammer on Trump, Newsom Running for President, and Malibu Fire Updates
Release Date: December 11, 2025

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Episode Overview

In this engaging and wide-ranging episode, Adam Carolla welcomes actor Kelsey Grammer for an energetic and candid conversation, joined later by Rudy Pavich for the news. The main themes revolve around political authenticity and inefficacy (with special attention on Donald Trump and Gavin Newsom), reflections on California’s governance, the Malibu fire aftermath, and Grammer's personal resilience in the face of tragedy. Woven throughout are Carolla’s trademark rants, satirical sketches, and unfiltered banter. The episode is both comedic and surprisingly heartfelt.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Kelsey Grammer at the Kennedy Center & Reflections on Trump (01:52 – 08:29)

• Kelsey shares his experiences attending and presenting at the Kennedy Center, noting the institution's improvement efforts and the role of politics in cultural spaces.
  • "The President was sort of hosting, but he was not, what's the word, abrasive really in any way..." — Kelsey Grammer (02:22)
• Both Carolla and Grammer express appreciation for decisive leadership—pointing to Trump's ability to “hit the ground running” in contrast to “process people” who prefer endless discussion over action.
  • “Process people hate disruptors because their whole world is a status quo world.” — Adam Carolla (06:47)
  • Grammer recounts observing Trump's post-election preparations at Mar-a-Lago and being impressed by the sense of purpose.
• The hosts dissect the “process people” mentality, criticizing local and state politicians—especially in California—for bureaucracy and a lack of real results.

2. Process People, Leadership Styles & Newsom's Candidacy (08:29 – 13:24)

• Carolla rails on politicians like Gavin Newsom for prioritizing panels and public discussions over bold actions, describing them as “process people” clinging to grants and nonprofit money.
• There's an extended riff on the absurdity and hypocrisy of massive spending with little result: billions spent on homelessness and infrastructure, but little tangible progress.
  • “They would rather have a crumbling infrastructure... than give somebody the win.” — Adam Carolla (07:56)
• Kelsey Grammer agrees, highlighting the cynicism behind unsolved problems and ongoing funding.

3. Trump vs Newsom / Political Personas (11:05 – 20:25)

• Carolla discusses his distrust of Gavin Newsom, dubbing him a “sociopath”—contrasting this with politicians he respectfully disagrees with, such as Andrew Yang.
• Noteworthy is their mutual incredulity at Newsom’s popularity:
  • “What concerns me most is not Gavin Newsom or whomever... It's the people that really like them.” — Adam Carolla (09:58)
• Carolla and Grammer also touch on the perception that Trump is “deranged” but credit him for “lower taxes, less crime, and stout borders.” The two suggest performance should trump personality.
• Carolla’s comedic bit replaces Newsom’s voice with AI Burt Reynolds to highlight how style and rhythm mask political incoherence (15:01 – 19:03):
  • [15:01] "I thought that if we took his voice out and just replaced it with Burt Reynolds voice... we'd hear how clearly insane Burt Reynolds sounds in this exchange." — Adam Carolla
  • They play a reenacted exchange, emphasizing nonsensical policy-speak.
• Grammer says, "He can talk for four hours and still say nothing. Right. Which is satisfying and gratifying to process people.” (19:17)

4. Malibu Fires, Graffiti, and Process Paralysis (22:48 – 25:16)

• Both discuss the aftermath of the Malibu fires, noting how vacant properties are now tagged with graffiti—a symbol of government inaction and bureaucratic delays.
  • “Coming up on a year since the fires, and the reason nothing’s been done is because they’re process people.” — Adam Carolla (24:10)
• Grammer agrees: “Where’s California headed? ...We're throwing away a lot of money” (25:22)

5. Kelsey Grammer’s New Movie and Book, and Personal Loss (25:37 – 38:31)

• Grammer discusses his new movie Turbulence and his memoir Karen, reflecting on the murder of his sister and father.
  • “Took me 50 years before I was ready to write it... what I wanted to do is... just wanted people to know my sister.” — Kelsey Grammer (27:25)
• He describes the long-term impact and trauma of such losses and his ongoing involvement with the parole process for the perpetrators.
  • “If you sit there and say, I did this horrible thing... maybe I can redeem myself... but I’m not for his release.” — Kelsey Grammer (30:26)
• The discussion touches on the criminal justice system, perceptions of the death penalty, and the psychological burden on victims’ families.

6. Fatherhood at 70—Kelsey on Family (36:08 – 38:09)

• Grammer shares his joy at becoming a father again at age 70, discussing the challenges and rewards of both natural and IVF pregnancies with his wife.
  • “I love life. I love life. I’m good. It’s not her [wife pushing for children].” — Kelsey Grammer (37:30)
• He reflects that his current relationship and family arrived at the right time for him to be “qualified to have a relationship and a family” (37:39).

7. Political Satire, Process Culture, and Euphemisms (41:59 – 73:23)

• The second half of the show (with Rudy Pavich) is a blend of political rants, social commentary, and comedic sidebars:
  • Satirical takes on criminal justice reform, euphemisms for criminals, and the “Justice Fair” for “Angelenos impacted by the justice system” (69:18 – 71:47).
  • “Impacted by the justice system are Asian women who got punched by black guys walking down the street. Not the black guy who punched them...” — Adam Carolla (69:52)
  • Carolla criticizes the trend of appointing former criminals to public safety panels and reflects on city priorities amid destruction and ongoing crime.
• Extended riffs on woke culture, performative activism, and gender politics—lampooning present-day Los Angeles and New York governance.

8. Modern Bureaucracy & Social Commentary (76:03 – End)

• Carolla and guests discuss social media screening for foreign visitors (“if you talk shit about the US, we don’t need you”) and the broader consequences of oversharing or public activism.
• A segment mocks the proliferation of government organizations dedicated to race and equity, with Carolla playing a clip from Admiral Rachel Levine.
  • “The key to all the Biden appointees was weave race into every single conversation.” — Adam Carolla (92:15)
• The show closes with discussion of current events, Kelsey's projects, and upcoming tour dates.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Political Authenticity:

  • “Process people hate disruptors because their whole world is a status quo world.” — Adam Carolla (06:47)
  • “He can talk for four hours and still say nothing. Right. Which is satisfying and gratifying to process people.” — Kelsey Grammer (19:17)

• On Newsom’s Appeal:

  • “I realized that Gavin Newsom sort of doesn’t track verbally... but it comes in a package that is favorable and likable, especially to women.” — Adam Carolla (14:19)

• On Personal Tragedy & Resilience:

  • “I just wanted people to know my sister. She was a wonderful girl, and we had a great childhood.” — Kelsey Grammer (27:25)
  • “I couldn’t save my sister, but I can do this [attend parole hearings].” — Kelsey Grammer (32:41)

• On Fatherhood and Aging:

  • “I love life. I love life... We actually agree about it. We love our family. It’s been a great experience.” — Kelsey Grammer (37:30)

• Satirical/Comedic Highlights:

  • “I thought that if we took his voice out and we just replaced it with Burt Reynolds voice... we'd hear how clearly insane Burt Reynolds sounds in this exchange.” — Adam Carolla (15:01)
  • [On process people’s “result”] “They want things to stay the same way is what—that’s the result they want.” — Kelsey Grammer (20:04)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 01:52 – Kelsey Grammer joins, discussing Kennedy Center
• 03:51 – Mar-a-Lago, Trump’s preparedness
• 06:28 – “Process people” described; CA politics analogy
• 08:29 – Billion-dollar mismanagement in California
• 11:05 – Newsom’s candidacy and sociopathic persona
• 14:19 – “AI Burt Reynolds” satirical bit
• 19:17 – Grammer on political doublespeak
• 22:48 – Malibu fires, graffiti, and delayed recovery
• 25:37 – Grammer on new movie Turbulence and memoir Karen
• 27:25 – Reflections on family, tragedy, and healing
• 36:08 – Fatherhood at 70: life and family perspectives
• 41:59 – Satirical takes on justice reform, euphemisms
• 69:18 – LA “Justice Fair” critiqued
• 92:15 – Analysis of race framing in Biden admin

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Final Thoughts

This episode blends political satire with poignant personal stories, exemplified by Kelsey Grammer’s candor and Carolla’s biting wit. The theme of authenticity versus bureaucratic inertia recurs throughout, with both critique and comedy aimed squarely at “process people” in modern governance. The interplay between sharp cultural commentary and deeply personal storytelling makes for a memorable, multifaceted episode.

For listeners seeking both laughs and thoughtful perspectives, this episode delivers—in spades.

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Guest Plugs:

• Turbulence (film) — available on VOD
• Karen (memoir by Kelsey Grammer) — out now
• Adam’s live shows and Rudy’s appearances (see AdamCarolla.com)

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[End of Summary]

Transcript

[A]

Well, in this episode, Kelsey Grammer joins me. Also, Rudy Scott, the news. And we'll do that right after this.

[B]

It's time to celebrate Christmas with the Ace man.

[A]

Happy holy, holy Christmas.

[C]

And the best time of the year.

[B]

In Santa Barbara, Friday night at the Santa Barbara Comedy Club. Adam Carolla live Chestnut roasting in the open fire, Saturday, December 6th in Corona, California.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

@ DOS Lagos.

[A]

Amphitheater. Write it.

[B]

Down. Celebrate the season with Jay.

[C]

Moore. Don't say I didn't warn.

[A]

You. Thank you for that.

[B]

Jay. And Thursday, December 18th, a special Adam Carolla show Christmas It's Wonderful. And oh, breaking news with Brad Williams. I'm Ted Koppel at the sagebrush cantina on December.

[A]

18Th. And if we Daddy Christmas, my.

[C]

Too long gave it to me. I partition the.

[B]

Parents. Please join us for the brightest season of the.

[C]

Year. You are going to get.

[B]

Aroused. Get your tickets [e-mail].

Corolla 1 Studios in Glendale, California. This is the ADAM Carolla Show. Adam's guest today, Kelsey Grammer. Plus the news with Rudy Pavage. And now just waiting for progressives to start boycotting Xmas because they think it has something to do with Elon Musk. Adam.

[A]

Carolla.

Kelsey Grammer has joined us once again for the show. Always great to talk to Kelsey. How are you, my friend.

[D]

Adam? I'm.

[A]

Well. How are you? Good. I saw you on TV at the Kennedy Center, I think most recently.

How was that.

[D]

Experience? It was actually fantastic. They did a hell of a job. That did a great job. It's my third time there. I went, I did James Earl Jones years ago. I did Jerry Herman after that when I was doing LA Casual Fall on Broadway. And then this time, Rick Rennell gave me a call and said, will you come and present to Michael Crawford? I said I'd be delighted to. You know, it's an institution. So it was really great. And the performances were fantastic. It was well done. Yes. The president was sort of hosting, but he was not, what's the word? Abrasive really in any way. I mean, there were a couple of things he did off camera that.

[A]

Were.

Yeah, I, I think he's in a weird way kind of doing a version. And I say a version of like what Jasmine Crockett is doing, which is kind of leaning into their.

[D]

Personality. Right?

[A]

Yeah. You know, Jasmine Crockett is kind of doing Jasmine Crockett now. And Trump is doing Trump. And I think he's more authentic than she is. Cause I think she's just kind of putting something on. But I Think what he's kind of doing is he's kind of saying, I think he thought he had to be more of a statesman.

And I think at the beginning, it was like he probably sat there at the beginning his first term and said, which one's the salad fork and which one is the entree fork? And he probably had to have somebody sort of go, here's what you do. And now he's just eating with his.

[D]

Hands. I think what happened was he had swamp creatures advising him who he should hire in the first.

[A]

One.

[D]

Right. And the second one, he actually hit the ground running. He was. He was pretty much prepared. I spent a few weeks down at Mar a Lago because I was recovering from a surgery in Palm Beach. And when I was there, it was about a month before the inauguration, you know, a month after he'd been elected. And I saw huge people in that room having dinner, figuring out how to run the country. And I was actually very impressed by it. I finally thought that, hey, but, you know, there's somebody at the helm, which is cool. And he's at the helm, but.

[A]

He'S.

[D]

He's. I think he's having some fun. And he's. He loves to joke a little bit. He goes to the same joke sometimes, maybe one too many times, but, you know, that's when it's at a crime. I mean, we saw that on Seinfeld, didn't.

[A]

We? Well, you know, also, I think the thing that you and I are probably attracted to is just sort of a movement and a plan and vigor and what's going on and who's gonna fix it. And here's my plan to fix it. And I realized that there are. And I just sort of call it process people. And there's a lot of people that are sort of process people. So, like, in Los Angeles, the City Council and the mayor and Gavin Newsom, and in California, very often there's kind of process people. And process people are mostly women, but not always women. And what they want to do is they want to get together and they want to have a discussion and put together a panel and break off into a discussion group and then hear and interview the people and. But they're not really a. Get on the construction site, roll up your sleeves, let's get going, people. There's a lot of talk, and it's a lot of kind of, slow it down. We gotta talk about this safety, number one. Safety Uber Alice. So slow down. Let's be safe. And then something happens where nothing ever happens. And to them, it Feels satiating. We talked about this, we had a meeting about it, we conferred about it. We had a third meeting about it. And I am the opposite. I'm going, nothing. But nothing happened. And they feel like something did happen because they're process oriented. Academia is that.

[D]

Way. Yeah. I mean that's a very interesting perspective. It's a great perspective in terms. But when it was Donald Trump that they wanted to get rid of, nobody was a process person. It was just like, let's jump in. Yeah, that's something we can win with. Let's put them in jail and let's go ahead and make everybody get inoculations and sit on their.

[A]

Porch. Process people. Correct. Process people hate disruptors because their whole world is a status quo world. And here's the deal. You give us tons of money to work on the homeless population or infrastructure or the bullet train or whatever. You give us tons of money. We don't do anything. We have a lot of discussions about it. Nothing ever comes out the other end. And you need to then go home and be quiet and not ask questions. The thing they hate the worst is the guy who comes in and goes, what's going on? We need to audit this. Where's this money going? Somebody look at somebody start cracking books, I want an audit. Well, they want that person out of the.

[D]

Building.

[A]

Absolutely. Their plan isn't we'll get our shit together. Their plan is let's get this guy out of the.

[D]

Building. Well, if they solve the homeless problem, there is no.

[A]

Money. Right, right, right. And they like the money, but it departs. Its interesting is.

Trump agitates them with his talk and his speed and his ballrooms and his shutting of the borders and his building, the fences and his drill, baby, drill. They hate it all. They can't stand it. They don't want him to achieve anything. Which is also weird thing about the process people, which is you would rather live with a homeless problem, a poverty problem and a crumbling infrastructure and $6 a gallon gas than give somebody the win. You would rather have.

[D]

This? Absolutely. Somebody asked me at the Kennedy center, you know, if I was happy about the improvements he wanted to make to it. And I, well, I don't know. Would you be happy with buckets in the main hall catching all the rain because the roof doesn't work right. And they, they, they actually had a moment of sort of almost a meltdown look in their eyes of like, well, it's. But that's the way the Kennedy center has been for quite a while. He walked in and Said this place, people were actually recommending that it get knocked down because it was almost irretrievable. And he said, no, we need to save it. That's. That's the right thing to do. It will invest in heritage. It's an amazing thing.

[A]

All. And it's funny. The thing too that's funny is when all of a sudden they care about money. So Gavin Newsom puts 24 billion into homeless, and we have more homeless and the 15 billion into a bullet train that'll never get finished. We're talking billions. And then Trump raises 300 million privately. And they're very concerned all of a sudden. Huge concerns. I mean, that's the funniest thing. Gavin Newsom gives a billion dollars in Covid relief money to people who are.

[D]

Incarcerated. Yeah.

[A]

Fantastic. But all of a sudden he's very concerned about every nickel of the taxpayers money that may be going into.

[D]

Office. Actually, they believe it's their.

[A]

Money.

[D]

Yes. That's the only reason he's concerned about it, because he wants more for.

[A]

Him. I don't get like, what concerns me most is not Gavin Newsom or whomever. The Nancy Pelosi's or the Maxine Waters or AOCs or whomever Jasmine Crockett. It's the people that really like them.

Intelligent, educated.

[D]

People. We know who they are. What's shocking is there are people who think that's okay. Yeah, the people I'm surprised by, I mean, we know who Gavin Newsom is. Gavin Newsom should never get near anything but Sacramento. And then maybe they should find a little place for him among the homeless population. Because that guy can destroy almost anything.

No way he's gonna be the President of the United States. But there are some people who think he should be. And that's the.

[A]

Shock. Well, he's the leader in the clubhouse. He's running because he looked at the polls and the polls basically said.

[D]

Look, you can do this. Yeah, we need a.

[A]

God. You're ahead of everybody. And that's the part that I find sort of confounding in that. And I was talking to Dave Rubin about it, who is also sort of physically repulsed by Gavin Newsom because he's a sociopath. And I said to Dave Rubin, I was like, I am repulsed by Gavin Newsom. Like, I'm not, you know, sort of agnostic. And look, there, there are plenty of politicians who I disagree with, but I like, yeah, that guy's smart and he's got a family and I'm sure he means well. Maybe he's a little Misguided. But he seems like a decent enough guy. Like, so be it, you know? You know, I don't. I don't. You know.

Andrew Yang, okay, Andrew Yang, he likes, wants universal income. I disagree with that. He's a Democrat. I disagree with that. But Andrew Yang, yeah, smart guy, nice guy. He's a decent enough guy. But then Gavin Newsom, I go, oh, sociopath. There's something wrong. But here's my point. Why don't more people have that reaction? Like, why? What do they.

[D]

Think? He is very interesting.

I do have the same quandary about it because it does seem so obvious, and I understand. They think the same thing of Donald Trump. They think, well, it's so obvious he's deranged. Okay, well, the only derangement I see is actually the stuff directed toward him rather than anything.

[A]

Else. I mean, well, listen, you can go.

The guy's deranged. Fine. Donald Trump's deranged. He stopped eight wars, gas prices are coming down, and he's trying to give people.

No tax on overtime and tips. Like, okay, deranged.

Okay, let's have it your.

[D]

Way. He's deranged everything I hate. Okay, well, good for you. Go live in your hatred. I mean, I don't know how to help.

[A]

Them. I'll take deranged in lower taxes and deranged and less crime and deranged in a better infrastructure. Deranged in a stout border. How about that? He's not. And nobody's wandered into this country in eight months. So, okay, he's nuts. Maybe we mean more that then according to.

[D]

Your. I'm with.

[A]

You. I mean, you know, it's like Bill Belichick. That guy doesn't talk to the press. That guy doesn't hug his player. I know. He's won five Super Bowls, though. Like.

[D]

Fine. And he likes his.

[A]

Girlfriend. He likes. I like her.

[D]

Too.

Yes, I get it. It's.

[A]

Fine. I will play Kelsey. I'll tell my guys soon enough, just for you, just because I think you would like this uniquely. And I'll tell you guys, I'll give you a second. You can find the Gavin news and Burt Reynolds thing, but a thing that I thought that you would enjoy. That was a sort of thought. It's kind of a thought experiment. Right? So. And you, as a master thespian, will appreciate it, I'm.

[D]

Sure. God bless you. Bless you.

[A]

Sir. Well, it's true.

Gavin Newsom came on this show, and we argued about stuff famously, years ago.

And I realized that Gavin Newsom sort of doesn't track verbally. His ideas sound sort of detached and bizarre. I don't know what he's talking about, but it comes in a package that is favorable and likable, especially to women. And he says things with certitude and they sound good and it's more of a rhythm. And I think a lot of people don't really listen to the words. They just sort of look at him and go, that guy knows what he's doing, even if he's speaking.

[D]

Gibberish. Completely.

[A]

Nonsense. Yeah, right. And so many years ago when he was in here, he brought up the problem of black and brown people not having access to checking accounts in California, which is. I don't know. I think he's misusing.

Access. By the way, 50% of Hispanics, Los Angeles is 50% Hispanic. But anyway, I thought that if we took his voice out and we just replaced it with Burt Reynolds voice.

AI Burt Reynolds, okay. And we removed me from the equation. Cause that'll turn people off.

Because my mom, God rest her soul, but if my mom heard my dialogue with Gavin Newsom at the end of it, she would agree with Gavin Newsom. But it was just her agreeing with Gavin Newsom. He didn't make his point. Right. So I said, let's take Gavin Newsom out of the equation. We'll replace him with Burt Reynolds. And let's take my voice out of the equation and will replace me with an AI generated NPR type of young female.

[D]

Reporter. Got.

[A]

It? And then we can hear how clearly insane Burt Reynolds sounds in this exchange. It's all verbatim. It's from a transcript. There is no artistic license here. This is. As Gavin Newsom and I talk, I play the part of the young NPR.

[D]

Reporter.

[E]

Okay? Half of African Americans in the state of California, roughly half of Latino families, have no access to a checking account or an atm. Things we take for granted. They don't have a checking.

[F]

Account. What's wrong with.

[E]

Them? Well, because they don't have the resources to sock those things.

[F]

Away. Why do we have.

[E]

Them? A lot of different reasons, but roughly half those families.

[F]

Don'T. Why do Armenians have.

[E]

Them? But where they end up is a check cashing.

[F]

Place. But I want to know why those groups. Why do those two groups not have.

[E]

Access? Just happens to be that. That we can talk.

[F]

About. Are they.

[E]

Flawed? No, they're hardly flawed. But they're.

[F]

Struggling. Genetically.

[E]

Flawed? Hardly. Absolutely.

[F]

Not. Do Asians have this.

[E]

Problem? I mean, a lot of communities have problems. A lot of whites have these.

[F]

Problems. So it's not just black and.

[E]

Hispanic. No, but.

[F]

It. Well, why did you bring up black and.

[E]

Hispanic? Because the magnitude is.

[F]

Ominous. But why so many of.

[E]

Them? It just happens to be just the.

[F]

Magnitude. That's the way God planned.

[E]

It. Not at.

[F]

All. Well, what happened to.

[E]

Them? There are a lot of issues and communities are.

[F]

Struggling. Why are they.

[E]

Struggling? A lot of different.

[F]

Reasons. Hispanics have been here. Blacks have been here longer than we have been.

[E]

Here. Well, we can. We can.

[F]

Surmise. What about Asians? They were put in internment.

[E]

Camps. Yeah, we. In fact, it all initiated out of San Francisco. The Chinese Exclusion act came out of progressive San.

[F]

Francisco. So are they at the check cashing.

[E]

Places? A lot of Asians certainly.

[F]

Do. Oh, so why don't you include.

[E]

Them? Because then the only reason why is the magnitude of the.

[F]

Problem. But there's no way to figure out how that.

[E]

Happened. We could talk about, you know, what I'm dealing with. I don't want to have a sociological.

[F]

Debate. Sure. Why would you. Why would you want to do that? Because the person from the Times wouldn't write good things about you if you did.

[E]

That. No, that's not the case. Because I want to deal with.

[F]

Reality. You want to deal with reality? I can tell you what reality.

[E]

Is. People are struggling. People are suffering. I want to deal with the problems in a pragmatic.

[F]

Way. Why are they struggling and why are they.

[E]

Suffering? We can hold hands and surmise about all these other.

[F]

Reasons. I don't want to do that. I want to know why they're struggling. Why are they.

[E]

Struggling? A lot of folks are struggling because they can't find.

[F]

Jobs.

[E]

Why? Blacks and Hispanics across the board, all.

[F]

Socioeconomics. So everybody is.

[E]

Struggling. Everybody is.

[F]

Struggling. So Asians are suffering just as much as.

[E]

Blacks. The face of welfare is not an African American.

[F]

Family. Oh, so it's Asian, Jewish. It's all of them Caucasian. Okay. We're all.

[E]

Struggling. A lot of folks are.

[F]

Struggling.

[A]

Okay.

He's nonsensical. And I.

[D]

Don'T. That's the thing. I loved how to use how he used the word ominous. That was pretty good. But that's one of his favorite go tos. I think he's a master of what I call the balancing subterfuge of political.

[A]

Doublespeak.

[D]

Right. He can talk for four hours and still say.

[A]

Nothing. Right. Which is satisfying and gratifying to process.

[D]

People. There you.

[A]

Go. Because they.

[D]

Love.

[A]

Fantastic. They love when Kamala Harris gets up there and pontificates and there's no answer. Now it is satisfying. To process people. It is frustrating to non processed people. Cause we want results and they want talk. And then they would say, oh, we want results too. And I would go, I don't know that you want results because you keep voting for someone who doesn't give you.

[D]

Results. They want things to stay the same way is what. That's the result they want. Because there is what seems to be an unlimited amount of money that will keep flowing in their direction as long as they keep the problems.

[A]

Alive. Yeah, but I'm the part that, like I said, I get what they're doing, I don't get what their constituency is.

[D]

Doing. And I'm with you on that. I sit in wonder and think, how did that possibly get passed? How did anybody vote for that.

[A]

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[B]

Dawson. For a limited time, save on the perfect gift by visiting auraframes.com to get $35 off Aura's best selling Carver mat frames named number one by Wirecutter by using promo code Corolla at checkout. That's auraframes.com promo code Corolla. This deal is exclusive to listeners and frames sell out fast, so order yours now to get it in time for the holidays. Support the show by mentioning us at checkout. Terms and conditions.

[A]

Apply.

Stream blockbuster hits like 21 Jump Street Ted, the Expendables and so much more on Pluto TV. Stream now. May never.

You missed now you missed the fires, right? I mean, didn't hit your.

[D]

Home. Just. Just missed.

[A]

Them. Yeah, just missed them.

I. I just missed them. Maybe even closer than you. Because I'm in Malibu. I've realized it's kind of an interesting thing. And I think we have some. Andrew find some graffiti pictures. But the thing that's kind of interesting is the graffiti has now popped up on the vacant lots and the walls in Malibu, because if you leave something vacant long enough in la, it gets tagged. Even Malibu. And it's a kind of an eerie harbinger that Malibu is being tagged now. So people think South Central and they think the tough neighborhoods and the barrio and Sun Valley and that kind of stuff, but Malibu never had a graffiti.

[D]

Problem. Well, in the interest of equity.

[A]

Right now, every property up and down PCH that got burnt out, that has a block wall left standing between their lot and the neighbor's lot is now tagged. That's how little movement has gone.

[D]

On. Oh, I know.

[A]

Yeah. In that place. And here we are. By the way, there was a Karen Bass one and there was an anti Karen Bass one where it says, like, my house now, Mayor Bass. That one got painted over.

[D]

Immediately. Oh, of course. Yeah.

[A]

Right.

[D]

Yeah. I just called her Mare.

[A]

Bass. Ackwards, that one got painted over. But the ones on PCH that are just gang. That's just gang stuff. Not going to get taken care of. So, yeah, here we are coming up on. On a year since the fires, and the reason nothing's been done is because they're process people. They're processing the paperwork and the permits and the coastal commission and everything else. I'll show you a.

[D]

Picture. Just.

[A]

Extraordinary. That's right. On PCH. That's a $7 million lot. Yeah, it's been tagged. So I guess.

Until you decide to go a different direction, I don't know what the plan is, do.

[D]

You? Well, where's California headed? Yeah, I mean, yeah, it may be the fourth largest economy in the world or the seventh or the third. You hear all sorts of different numbers, but it means we're throwing away a lot of money. 31 million more in debt. I just don't understand.

[A]

It. The movie, by the way, Turbulence, which is available now in select theaters and on vod, Apple, Amazon, wherever you find finer films.

I'm reading the story here. A romantic hot air balloon trip in the Italian Dolomites turns deadly when a mysterious woman hijacks the flight I'm in. That sounds great to.

[D]

Me. It's actually pretty fun. It's a great sort of convention about, like, getting four people in a confined space and finding out what the truth is about them. And it doesn't go so.

[A]

Well. How did you film.

[D]

That? We shot in England. And mostly it was a green screen on a soundstage. They had a little crane where the sort of the shrouds of the balloon itself were tied up. And they had it hooked to a crane, and they would hoist it a little bit or move it around a little bit, and we'd move back and forth with it. And there were fights in it and all kinds of fun stuff. But, you know, a couple of people have a secret and a couple of people don't. And the ones who find out about the secret, maybe it goes well for them, maybe it doesn't.

It's a pretty remarkable movie. I was really quite impressed with it. And I had a broken foot at the time. I'd had an operation, so I was in a cast. The only thing you could do is shoot me from the waist up. Anyway, so it actually kind of was perfectly.

[A]

Convenient. And the book. A brother. Karen. Yeah. Oh, sorry. Yeah, it says, Karen, a brother, remember? Right. And I got that. Right. That's available now. Is that about your.

[D]

Sister? It's about my sister, yeah. Took me 50 years before I was ready to write it, but it took three years, so 47 years. But it seemed like it was time to do it. And what I. The gratification I get from it is people actually say her name and know her. And that's what I wanted to do, is people. I just wanted people to know my sister. She was a wonderful girl, and we had a great.

[A]

Childhood. She was murdered. And, I mean, your story is pretty. Pretty crazy. She was murdered. I think your father was.

[D]

Murdered. Dad was killed, too, as.

[A]

Well. I mean, that's. I don't know. What percentage of Americans living in modern times had a sister and a father.

[D]

Murdered. That's pretty.

[A]

Rare. It's an elite fraternity that you don't want to be in. But, I don't know. Did you grow up fast? I mean, did.

[D]

It. We did. It really happened when my grandfather died a little prematurely. We didn't know he raised us. So when I was 12 and Karen was 11, Gordon was gone. That's why that's our granddad. So our life pretty much was thrown into disarray at that moment. But then subsequently, a year, year and a half later, my dad was shot, and then four years later, my sister was killed. So, you know, it was tough. It was a tough.

[A]

Time. Your sister was. That was just a serial killer.

[D]

Right? A group of guys that were killing.

[A]

People. Yeah. A group of guys, yeah. How Many people did they.

[D]

Kill? They killed seven.

[A]

People. A group. Which is so pretty atypical.

[D]

Right? It was a sort of a summer killing spree kind of thing. I don't know. I think that's what they were doing. One guy was in the military. They lived in Colorado Springs. And he just decided he was going to crack and go see what it was like to actually kill somebody. And, you know, and that's what started it. There was, you know, one guy was murdered, shot in the back of the head because he had, you know, 50 cents in his pocket. It. It just was, you know.

[A]

Bizarre. So they killed seven people. And where are they.

[D]

Now? Well, two of them are gone. The last one, the guy really was chiefly responsible for my sister's murder, is still in.

[A]

Jail. And is he 75 years.

[D]

Old? No, he. He's 70. He's my age. And he. He is pretty vibrant, pretty healthy, you know, strong, and could still be an issue if he got.

[B]

Out.

[D]

And. But it. He keeps saying, actually, but what's. What's funny about his. His approach to things. When he. When we have these hearings, you know, parole hearings and stuff, he says he. He doesn't remember doing any of it, but he didn't remember raping my sister. He doesn't. Doesn't remember it. That, to me, makes it worse. Makes his case worse, honestly. Because at some point, if you sit there and say, I get it, I. I did this horrible thing, I. I think I can redeem myself by having a kind of life outside of prison that might help some people. If that was his intention in any way, it might help me come to the point where I would say, you know what? Okay, go prove me wrong. But I'm not for his.

[A]

Release.

You know, you say vibrant at 70, you think about. In prison, and I always think about Mark Garrigus. You know, he'll tell clients, and he'll have clients that are affluent rich guys that get sentenced for three years or something. And.

The guys will be like, you know, they live in Beverly Hills and drive a Rolls Royce, and now they're going in prison, you know, and he'll tell them, listen, I know you don't want to go, but you'll be down £50 when you get.

[D]

Out. The best years of your.

[A]

Life. When's the last time you didn't drink for three years? You know, you're not gonna drink. You're not. No more eating cannolis. You know what I mean? Like, you'll come out cleaned up and lighter.

And probably conservative, all right? And so I Kinda, you know. You know, the Menendez brothers, they're in pretty good shape, you know what I mean? They didn't have a life of love and loss and didn't spend a lot of time out in the sun and didn't have a lot of, you know, didn't have a lot of stress. And they didn't drink a lot to deal with the stress, you know, and smoke to deal with the stress. So they're kind of. Kind of preserved. They're pickled a little.

[D]

Bit. That is.

[A]

True. And so I can see that, you know, you go into prison at 25 or whenever this guy went in, and you're 70, and I've seen guys at 70. That looks pretty. Pretty road hard and put away wet, you know, good shape. Yeah, yeah. So the other two died in.

[D]

Prison.

One outside of prison at a different. Different occasion. There was a whole different set of circumstances, but pretty early on. And then the other, I ended up with cirrhosis of the liver. Oh, no. No.

[A]

Kidneys. In prison.

[D]

Though. Yeah, in.

[A]

Prison.

Yeah. So you have to attend the parole.

[D]

Meetings. Yeah, yeah. Either by phone or in person. And it's coming up on another one pretty soon. But you know what? It's the price I pay. It's okay. I mean, I couldn't. I couldn't save my sister, but I can do this.

[A]

So. Yeah. You know, I always thought about that famously. Sharon Tate's mother used to have to show up every seven years and sit there with California. Yeah. Every seven years.

For 50 years, she had to show up and sit there and look at that guy while he insulted her, whatever happened. But it's just like, oh, God.

I couldn't imagine. And this guy's not repentant. He claims he was blacked out drunk or.

[D]

Something. Yeah, we're not really sure what he thinks he talking about at this point, but, you know, he's. He just wants to get out. He says he's been in long.

[A]

Enough.

[D]

Okay. I don't.

[A]

Agree. Is that 40 years or.

[D]

Something? It's. It's 50 years.

[A]

Now. 50 years. Wow. So they. They got him pretty immediately.

[D]

Huh? It was several months later, but, yeah, they did. Cat. They. On a tip, actually, one of the guys got arrested in New.

[A]

Orleans.

[D]

Wow. And basically turned state's evidence, said, I know about the girl in Colorado, and that's how they caught.

[A]

Him. It's so random. And it's also such a waste, like, I think, about the part of life that is just really. I mean, what he, you know, he'd like to not have done it too, I'm.

[D]

Sure. I think so.

[A]

Yeah. Amongst the free people, breathing the fresh air. Yeah. So he's just been in Colorado in a presence for state penitentiary for 50 years. Jesus Christ. Also, I kind of like the death penalty because I'm sort of like, I don't know, they're not going to get out ever, though. I'm going to just get rid of them and then we'll spare the expense. And then you having to go sit in parole board.

[D]

Hearings. I'm sort of ambiguous about it because I'd hate to be responsible for killing the one guy who actually was innocent, even though you know for sure that this guy's guilty. So I sit on the fence.

[A]

Of it a little.

[D]

Bit. I think Timothy McVeigh needed to be.

[A]

Killed.

[D]

Yeah. You know, that was just hundreds of people and you know.

[A]

Disgusting. Tim McVeigh is a good example of we know what he did. And it's so egregious. It's not. Poor black guy robs a liquor store and the gun goes off kind of thing. Like we understand cut and dried. And they did it quickly. So there's no interviews from prison. No. Geraldo Rivera sits down with Tim McVeigh to hear his side of the story. There's no. He started painting clowns and he's now selling these things on ebay. Like all. He's written a book, he sired a child. Like it's all.

[D]

Gone. Just. You blow up 180 people with this guy with Karen. He's, he's, you know, oh, this poor fellow. He's been in prison for so long. Well, you know, he killed a girl and he killed several other people. So we get it. I mean, you can, you can try to turn him into a victim, but he just isn't, you know, to pretend he's acting other than a murder is actually its own form of racism. So I mean, you know, let's just, you know, call it.

[A]

That. Yeah. Well, especially weirdly serial killing. And also weirdly group serial killing, which I've, like I said, I've never even heard of. I'd say it's. Yeah. Exquisitely.

[D]

Rare. Off you.

[A]

Go. So writing books, acting, not seemingly slowing down. Kelsey.

[D]

Grammer. Not slowing down. Just had another kid.

Eight weeks.

[A]

Old. Eight weeks old? Yeah. How old's your.

[D]

Wife? She's.

[A]

43. Uh huh. So you did the in vitro stuff and all.

[D]

That? No, we've actually done regular and in vitro. We've done a little of.

[A]

Both.

[D]

Wow. Both. Both took. We had. When we first met, we Had a couple of miscarriages and thought, okay, well, maybe we needed to go this way. And we talked to some doctors, an old friend of mine who's in that business, and he said, well, you know, you optimize your chances this way, because.

One statistic I didn't know is apparently half of all first pregnancies end in miscarriage. So sort of a loose statistic.

[A]

But.

[D]

Right. It happens a lot. So he said, well, if you really want to make sure we get this one right, we'll make. We'll look at the embryos. We'll make sure we get it right. So we. We did that once. We had a process. We had our first child that way, and then we had a couple the other.

[A]

Way. Did. Is this her who's pushing hard? I mean, at 70, you're not. Most men at 70 are not thinking about a newborn. Is this kind of her pushing the agenda? I love.

[D]

Life. I love life. I'm good. It's not.

[A]

Her. Wow. Good.

[D]

Answer. We actually agree about it. We love our family. It's been a great.

[A]

Experience. Well, we'll go.

[D]

Out. I like to think that I got to it a little late sometimes. Like, maybe I didn't arrive at a place where I was suited to be the best dad in the world, and now I'm in a relationship that actually fits for a family where we actually are partners and we actually talk to one another and praise one another and like each other. I didn't get to that until this one. So, yeah, it's remarkable. So I feel like I've shaved 40 years off my life just by virtue of the fact that I'm qualified to have a relationship and a family where I never was.

[A]

Before. Is there a Cheers reunion or talk about a Cheers.

[D]

Reunion? Haven't heard.

[A]

Anything. They haven't heard a.

[D]

Word. Yeah.

[A]

No. Trying.

[D]

To. As Jimmy Burrow said, that bar is.

[A]

Closed. Turbulence is the name of the film. It is out as we speak. Amazon, Apple, wherever you stream finer films. Book. Karen is out as well, I'm sure. A sad and fascinating story. Kelsey Grammer, always good to catch up with you, my.

[D]

Friend. Likewise.

[A]

Adam. I hope to talk to you very soon. We'll take a break. Rudy will do the news right after this.

Rougette. Well, I know nobody wants to talk about this, but I'm talking about Ed anyway. Trust me, you're not the only guy blocked in the bedroom. It's more than you think. 30 million men deal with this. That's like Dodger Stadium. Wait a minute. It's way more Than Dodger Stadium. I'll include the parking lot. You're not special. You're just a man who might need a little backup. That's where Rougiette comes in. They've got fast acting ed treatments prescribed by real doctors delivered right to your door. No more awkward pharmacy runs. No more pretending everything's fine. Stop making excuses, start making moves. Am I right.

[B]

Dawson? Visit rougeeit.com Adam to get 15% off of your first order. That's R U G I E T.

Use our code to support the show and so Rougiette knows that we send.

[A]

You. Select quote well, time for some life talk. Life insurance talk, that is. You probably got it. But do you know how much you're paying or how much you're covered for? Odds are you're paying too much for too little. And if your coverage comes from your job, when you lose your job, you lose your coverage. Buying it is like hiring a bodyguard for your bank account after you're gone. Select quotes well, they've been around for over 40 years. Helped 2 million Americans get 700 billion in coverage. They shop all the top insurance companies to find the right fit for your health and budget. And. And they do it for free. Real agents working for you. Life insurance is never cheaper than right now. Select quote they shop, you save. Right.

[B]

Dawson? Get the right life insurance for you for less and save more than [e-mail] Corolla save more than 50% on term life [e-mail] Corolla today to get [e-mail] Carolla.

It's time to check Adam's.

[A]

Voicemail. Foreign.

Sutton Pulaski, Tennessee. I'm listening to your show about made up movies and I'm sorry to say they already did a Cocaine Crab. It's terrible. Just wanted to give you a heads up. You're doing the Lord's.

[B]

Work. You can leave us a message at.

[A]

888-634174.

Well, I came up with Cocaine Barracuda because of Cocaine Bear and then a Cuda. But Cocaine Crab was the follow up. Yeah, to Cocaine Barracuda. But it's impossible that somebody made a movie called Cocaine.

[B]

Crab. It's called Cocaine Crabs from Outer space. Released in.

[C]

2022.

[A]

Nice.

[C]

Yeah. Didn't Mike August try to get something off the ground like Cocaine Cat or something? What was that thing? Do you guys remember.

[A]

That?

[B]

Cocaine. He wanted us to book the Cocaine.

[A]

Bear.

[C]

Cocaine.

[B]

Yeah. Jeff.

[C]

Richards. Oh.

[A]

Shit. Cocaine Bear. Cocaine Bear captured Mike's imagination like no other form of art has ever moved him. And he, for one week solid, was pitching everybody cocaine, something with a bear. And everyone kept sort of politely ignoring him, but he was a bear with a bone. He was not gonna give up the ghost.

And Mike does have his.

[C]

Moment.

[A]

Sure. He has been around comedy so long, and he's heard so many. I got off on stage with him in Texas doing a couple shows at Hyenas or wherever. And he goes, you know that joke you're doing with that thing and Gavin Newsom and everything? I go, yeah. He goes, you should switch the punchline around. You should switch it. You say this, then that, you should do that, and then this. You should end it with the whatever. And I was.

[D]

Like.

[A]

Yeah. And he goes, yeah, you should. You should switch it. And I go, yeah, but the kind of. The punchline is kind of commit suicide. And he goes, no, I think it would work better if you did it the other way. And I go, well, it works good now. And just so you guys know what I'm talking about.

I do this bit where I'm talking about.

Being at the Hoover Dam and they built it in 45 years and how fast they built the Hoover Dam and blah, blah, blah. And then 1931, by the way, to 1936, and they built the Golden Gate Bridge, by the way, like 32 to 36. It's like something crazy in it. And then anyway, the joke is, somebody tweeted me and said, could you imagine how long it would take to build the Golden Gate Bridge in Gavin Newsom's America or California? And I wrote back, which is true. I wrote back, people would die of natural causes waiting to commit suicide. And Mike said, you should flip that. And I said, well, but suicide is kind of the button, you know, I think I like it this way. And he goes, I think it would work better if you said people who wanted to commit suicide would die of natural causes. And I went.

Okay, I sort of like the suicide button, but I kind of get what you're saying, so I'll flip it. I'll try for the second show. Now, first things first, everyone. Don't be so standoffish and precious about everything. Like, I listened to him and I went.

I think suicide for the button. But, George, it's a late show. Let's try.

[C]

It. Yeah. Yeah. There was. The thing about jokes is especially the, like, the formulaic comics that use a lot of setup punchline. There is a way to be able to write. Like, for me, I know when I. My punchlines are best when I have odd number syllable punch lines, which is a weird thing to like, really break it down to. But there's times we'll be in a green room and I'll, you know, we'll be talking about jokes and somebody will go, you should try it like this. And Mike August will. Every now and again he'll drop a. Yeah, but people would say it like this. If you were in a normal conversation, people would present the wording of the joke in such a way. And I'll go, you know what? You're right. It sounds more conversational when you say it that.

[A]

Way. Yeah. Mike August is a guy who has never put on tool bags or picked up a hammer, but has been on a construction site for so long doing nothing. Yeah. That occasionally when you're swinging that door, he goes, you should put the pin in the top hinge first and then let the bottom one will just sort of fall in. You're trying to do the bottom first and the top. You're fighting.

[C]

Gravity.

[A]

Yeah. And you go, you hang doors. He goes, nah, but I've been standing here for so fucking long watching people do.

[C]

It.

[A]

Absolutely. Once in a while I got a good.

[C]

Idea. Yeah. For the longest time, and it's such a long game with Mike. You gotta play. But for the first three years, Mike barely said, you know, hello to me. We were cordial. And then one night in the green room, he's like, who books you? And I go, nobody. I booked me. And he goes, oh. He goes, hang on. And he made a phone call. And literally two days later, I had a guy booking me and I was headlining shows. I couldn't believe he know Dave Attell. When I met. I opened for Dave Attell in Minnesota and he was like, you know.

[D]

Carolla? I go.

[C]

Yeah. And he goes, mike August. I'm like, yeah, Mike August. He's like, yeah, dude, I've known Mike for. In fact, I met a guy like 3 weeks ago who worked at a mailroom with Mike August at his first agency. He must have been like 19 or 20. And I go, man, 20 year old Mike August. And he's like exactly the same way as he is today, as he was back then. Nothing's.

[A]

Changed. He.

Knew Jon Stewart before Jennifer Stewart was Jon Stewart. I mean, he goes way, way.

[C]

Back. It's like the Forrest Gump of comedy.

Toilet.

[A]

Paper. Now a subject. Bad.

[C]

Surprise.

[A]

Okay. Bad surprise. I just had this happen moments ago and I don't get it. Now it's a thing that happens to me and I don't know why. But it's bothersome to me.

I won't say uniquely, but there are things that bother me more than would bother other people. For instance, when I say something and then someone says something sort of like obvious back. And I don't think I'm bothered. I think I'm bothered more than certain things. Here's what I'll say. I talk to a lot of people and then we have these kind of conversations. You go, what time's the show at Kimmel's club? Early shows at seven. Okay. Take about five hours to get there.

Four and a half. Four. Four to drive. Maybe traffic. Why don't you say. Why don't. Let's say we should leave by 2 o'. Clock. They'll go, well, we gotta get there before the show.

I don't know. Why do you. Why did you have to say that? Why did you say. And by the way, there's a lot of.

[C]

That.

[A]

Yeah. And then it's like. Do you know what you're saying or you just. Yeah, you know what I mean? I mean, it's like people in their sleep make more sense when you wake them up, you know, is there an earthquake? No wake, huh? What's going on? Like, you're just talking and I don't know why I'm so pissed off, but it drives me nuts. There's also. It's sort of implying I'm.

[C]

Retarded. But anyway, which most people after they have a conversation with you go, that guy is.

[A]

Retarded. That guy is.

[C]

Retarded. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. There's also.

It's a weird.

Yeah. Anyway, all right, so I get more. And the thing that always bites me the hardest, and it happens.

A lot with me, but it's a rich guy thing. Like, I've always told you guys the story. When my ex wife's father died, we of course had the funeral and had to wake at the warehouse or whatever, which I had to clean up afterward because why wouldn't I do that the next day? But I had people come around thanking me all the time. Okay, thanks. Family, her family thanking. And I was like, why is everyone thanking me? Then at a certain point it dawned on me, oh, I fucking paid for everything. That's why they're.

[C]

Thanking. They're not thanking you, they're thanking the amex card that you pulled out earlier.

[A]

Today. Right, right. But the thing that always killed me, and it's happened to me a million times, I think women do it more than men. So I say to my ex wife, I go, I guess we paid for the funeral, huh? Oh, yeah. I didn't tell you, but, yeah, it was, like, really expensive because it seemed pretty nice, you know? Nah, it wasn't that bad.

The most expensive thing was the casket.

How much was the casket?

[C]

1300. It's not bad.

[A]

Steal. Okay. It's expensive, I guess. 1300. I come from the Neptune Society, but they give you a fucking shoebox, and they've just. Viking funeral. And I go, okay, well, the most expensive thing was the casket at 1300, I guess. Oh, sorry.

[C]

13,000.

Son of a.

[A]

Bitch. Son of a.

[C]

Bitch. Dig that guy up. Let's change that box. Can we return.

[A]

It? Listen, my assistant found the exact casket at Costco for 950 bucks, by the way. But anyway, it was an impulse 5. The point is.

I can go from 13,000 to 1300, but can't go the other.

[C]

Way.

[A]

Yeah. I have conversations with people all, like. It's basically, like, going, hey, man, you owe the IRS $17,000. Oh, sorry, $170,000. Like, you just go, oh. Oh. And so, yeah, 10 seconds ago, out there.

They'Re getting the place prepped up for Christmas party, and there's an outdoor outlet that's been bugging me for a while. Should have had it fixed a long time ago. Now I have this thing where I have guys, but people in my life will go, go get the plumber. Call the plumber. And I'll be like, don't call the plumber. Don't call the plumber. That's 1,000 bucks. I got my guys. They'll do it for 150 bucks, you know, whatever it is. So they go, we're gonna get the. Call the electrician. Let's get that outlet fixed out there. And I go, let me look at the outlet. Let me try to fix that out. So I have my guys, and they're not electricians, but they take a look at it, and they can. I'm flicking breakers, and they go, it's no good. And there's also some question because it's been there a million years, and there's conduit for the gate that goes past it or.

[C]

Whatever. Yeah. Specs. I get to probably some sort of, like. I'm sure the city's got to get involved and make sure that there's some sort of plans that they got to be involved with so they can wet their beak a little bit and.

[A]

Get a little cash outside, Bootleg it. But anyway, I'm just told it's not working, so it's fine. Fine. Run extension cord from the Inside, it's not working. And then I go back out in between shows, and the young lady who's working out there goes, I got a surprise for you. I go, you do? Yeah. Let me show you. Okay, go out there. There's the outlet. It's got the weather guard, sort of sneeze guard, plastic on.

[C]

It. Yeah. The flip.

[A]

Flip. Flip it up. Yeah, pop it up. Brand new GFCI white ground force interrupt breaker thing in there. Outdoor sitting there. It's working perfectly. I go, really?

It's.

[D]

Working?

[A]

Yeah. Oh, that's awesome. Roberto did. No, I did it. You did it? Yeah, I did it. Well, that's awesome. It's working.

[C]

Perfectly. Backed your car right in.

[A]

There. Nah, just kidding. We hired electrician. I paid.

We. I paid. I'm glad it's working. Don't get me wrong, but I don't know why. That's a fun.

[C]

Surprise. Yeah, no, it's not. It's.

[A]

Not. It's what? It's what I didn't want to.

[C]

Do. Yeah. This is the equivalent when people pull you aside and go, I got a bit for.

[A]

You. I.

[C]

Got. Let me. You can use this in your act. And then they give it to you and you go, what were you thinking? Why would you give that to.

[A]

Me? Yeah, but that doesn't cost you.

[C]

$175. You're right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

That'S.

[C]

That.

[A]

Yeah. I don't know why that's funny or, like, a surprise. Good. And I also don't know.

Why it's satisfying for the person who thinks it's funny. Because it's. For me, like, if I said to. If I was, like, talking to someone, and they'd go, geez, you've been kicking around this town for 30 years. You ever win an Emmy? And I go, yeah, I've won two Emmys for the man show. Really? No, I just haven't got in. I got.

[C]

Nothing.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah, but that was funny, right? It was funny for me. It's kind of feeling.

[C]

Weird. Yeah. Yeah. You need to go comically big. Like, I had an old boss of mine who gave me some good advice once who said, like you said, you can never go the direction of up to down, but you can go down to up. So like, every year for the holidays, we would get $1,000 bonus, which was very generous. And then one year, she could only afford $500 to every employee. So she. Then when it was time to, like, hand them out, she was like, all right, boys, here you go. Here's your gift cards. Here's Your Christmas bonus. It is one $12 gift card to Target. Here you go. Enjoy. And we were like, aha. And she's like, no, no, no, I'm just kidding. Obviously, everybody gets 500 bucks. And you're like, oh, that's way better than a $12 gift card. Thank you very.

[A]

Much. Gotta go that.

[C]

Way.

[A]

Yeah. All right, you got some news? Let's do.

[C]

It. Let's do it. Yeah. So this is obviously, this is just art imitating life. So the man that mdame appointed to his public safety team is a convicted armed robber. He goes by the name of my son Lennon. He's a former rapper. My son, once convicted a armed robbery, has been appointed by the New York Mayor elect Zoran Mamdani to serve on the incoming administration's criminal, excuse me, Criminal Legal System transition committee. The Bronx born rapper, who was once signed to Def Jam, served seven years in prison after his 1999 conviction of two armed.

[A]

Robberies.

It is never going to work. Whatever it is, whatever their plan is, it can't work. And I never know why they don't know it doesn't work. Whatever that thing is, where they go, there is too much of this or too little of that. Like, they go, there are too many people in prison. Yeah. And there's too many people of color in prison. Yeah. All right, so how do we work this out? Well, let's get somebody of color who used to be in prison to be in charge of who's going in prison. Like, that can never work out.

It can never work out. You have to figure out why there's so many black people in prison. And racist judges is not the answer. We need to know where's the supply? And by the way, if they're racist.

You know, who hates. You know, who's hated the most? And blacks in this country are revered, basically, like their Beyonce and Kobe Bryant and stuff like that. Like, people love blacks in this country. Obama. The only people that are actually not liked by a large group of people are Jews. That remains undaunted and unchanged. Like, we don't. You can take the picture down, cuz. This guy's teeth are bothering me.

[C]

Yeah. What is going on with his.

[A]

Face? I don't know if he's got a weird grill or something. But here's the thing. Let's break it down this way. Okay? We claim to discriminate against women.

Are there more women in prison than.

[C]

Men? Just look at any big city City council right now. Yes. They're all over the.

[A]

Place. They're not in.

[C]

Prison. Not in.

[A]

Prison. Yes, they're not in prison. All right. But we discriminate. So here. Okay, are you ready? Black people are in prison because we discriminate against them. Right. But we allegedly discriminated against women, but there's no women in prison, or very few. And then we discriminate against the LGBT community, but they're not overwhelmingly in prison either. But we do discriminate against black. And then there's a lot of Hispanics in prison. But do we discriminate against Hispanics? I don't know. I live in California. I don't think you can discriminate against Hispanics. You're not gonna get anything done. They do all the work here. So far, it's just the blacks. Even though we discriminate against the gay community, the transgender community, and women as well, we discriminate against them. And then there's Asians, who don't represent any of the prison population, but they're a minority. But we discriminate against people of color, but they're the wrong color. But we hate people who look different than us because we just want our white enclave here. I just want nothing but white swinging dicks around me. All that. Or any gays or any Asians or any blacks. But somehow it works with the blacks in terms of incarceration with discrimination. But then there's the pesky Jews. Everybody hates the Jews. The one thing we can agree on that we have is discrimination against Jews and antisemitism. Look no further than the college campuses, the esteemed college campuses, the Ivy League college campuses just several months ago, when they were basically protesting against the Jews. They weren't protesting against the black man, women in general, Asians, Hispanics, Armenians. They were protesting against the Jews. Why isn't there a larger Jewish population in prison if even they got there? Because the system discriminates against them. Perhaps it's because they don't get involved with crime.

[C]

Perhaps.

[A]

Perhaps. Yeah, perhaps there's a missing part of this equation, which is they're not involved in crime, which is an easier way to get to prison by being consistently, statistically, more involved with crime. So women we hate and Jews we definitely hate, and everybody we hate, but they don't end up in fucking prison. But the blacks end up in prison because we discriminate against the blacks. I feel like there's a problem with your fucking logic.

[C]

Assholes. Absolutely. Yeah. I heard somebody say the other day, it's not called a stereotype. It is called a. What do they call it? Like a realization of God damn I'm looking for the word, like somebody who keeps consistently doing the thing. A pattern. Yeah, yeah, there you go. Recognition of patterns.

[A]

Exactly. Of course, you know, of all. All people that when you do comedy, you cannot say, we'll remove blacks from the equation, but they'll go. Or we'll leave blacks in the equation. Like, you go, okay, you're on the freeway, you're running late. How come every time I'm running late to the airport, I get some German guy in front of me, People go.

[G]

What?

[A]

Yeah. They don't. Or you could go, I got a black guy in front of me. People go, oh, okay. Yeah, I got some white guy, some Italian guy. You know, you have to go, Asian.

[C]

Woman.

[A]

Sure. And otherwise it won't make.

[C]

Sense.

[A]

Yeah. You know what I.

[C]

Mean?

[A]

Yeah. And there's a joke that I do sometimes about Olympics and fencing and whatever, and at some point I just go, I'd rather watch Mexicans put up fencing. But I don't say Greeks put up fencing, and I don't say Japanese put up fencing, because you've never seen Greeks doing fencing. So you go, is it a stereotype? And it's like, well, yeah, not all Mexicans put up fencing. But we do recognize that they do that.

[C]

Predominantly. Yeah, yeah. I think I was once told that not all Mexicans put up fencing, but all fencing is put up by Mexicans, I believe is how that goes. That is.

[A]

Correct. All right, so this is going to solve this problem, except for it won't solve the problem, except for it's going to get worse. And listen, I'm not that old. I remember a little movement called defund the police, which came from your neck of the woods. They wanted to defund the police, and then a shit show happened, and then they didn't want to defund the police, but that was a plan. Yeah, they had a lot of plans. We need safe, clean, dignity injection zones in San Francisco where people can go there with.

[C]

Dignity.

[A]

Sure. And shoot up heroin in a square with dignity, with nicely appointed park benches and squirrels. And then that turns into dawn of the Dead. None of your plans work.

I don't know how else to tell you people that none of your plans ever work. What works is tons of cops and tons of people put into prison. Or if you want to go your route, we can take a look at the black community and try to figure out why they're engaged in criminal behavior at such a high rate. We can do one or the other. We can't do neither. Your plan is, let's not Take a look at the black community and figure out why they're engaged in criminality. And let's not get more cops. Okay, have it your way. Shopify. Well, let's see. Thinking about starting a business can be intimidating. Shopify is the commerce platform behind millions of businesses around the world and 10% of all e commerce in the US from household names like Mattel and Gymshark to brands just getting started. Get started with your own design studio. With hundreds of ready to use templates, Shopify helps you build a beautiful online store matches your business's brand and your business's style. Get the word out like you have a marketing team behind you. Easily create email and social media campaigns wherever your customers are scrolling or strolling. It's Shopify.

[B]

Right? Dawson, Turn your big business idea into With Shopify on your side, sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at shopify.com Corolla go to shopify.com Corolla shopify.com Corolla homes.com.

[A]

Some might say homes.com is the best home shopping site. I sounded like Oprah there. Homes.com has super comprehensive and transparent agent directories. Also maybe homes.com maybe people love it because homes.com is the only site that always directly connects you with the listing agent who knows the home the best. Perhaps it's because homes.com has the most in depth neighborhood content of any home shopping site that's extensively researched to highlight the personality of each neighborhood. Homes.com goes above and beyond to bring home shoppers the in depth info they need to find the right home. Homes.com that's homes.com we've done your.

[B]

Homework.

Remember when Millie told us we should all read White.

[A]

Privilege? Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. Four star general. General.

[A]

Milly. Right.

[B]

Right. That's going to solve the.

[C]

Problem. Sure.

[A]

Yeah. I am so fucking glad the Remember when the adults got back in the room and it's a bunch of fucking woke trannies? Like, okay, and that adult got caught stealing women's clothing at the.

[C]

Airport. Lots of dudes in.

[A]

Dresses. Yeah. All right.

[C]

Adults. Yeah. You know they talk about putting a rapper on the public service team. If I was the public, I would go, how about we get somebody who's got maybe just a little bit of experience in this and not a guy who was trying to become a rapper who served seven years for armed robbery. And the way that they also he presents it, he's like, I had my freedom taken away from me. Your freedom taken away from you? You robbed somebody at gunpoint. What are you talking.

[A]

About? Oh, there's a great.

God, I love the. By the way, if you have to use euphemisms, that's.

[C]

Bad.

[A]

Yeah. Like if someone goes, what about Rudy? Is he funny? Stand up. And I go, he's a comedy involved individual.

Is he funny? He's comedy involved. He's a citizen. He's comedy.

[C]

Involved. That's like when you're gonna go on a blind date. And they go, she's.

[A]

Nice. She's.

[C]

Nice. She's very nice.

[A]

Yes. Yeah. Did you donate your eggs? Yeah. 25 grand.

[C]

Yeah. Donated.

[A]

Them. That's an interesting use of the word.

Karen Bass. I saw. I think there's a tweet I liked. You can look, Andrew. That's probably a week old.

Karen Bass was having a seminar, by the way. There are no seminars about permits and Palisades or rebuilding. There's not. She had a seminar at the LA Convention center for folks that were.

I guess I called them.

Penally involved or involved with the penal system or the law or whatever. They have these great euphemisms for fucking.

[C]

Criminals. Yeah. Justice.

[A]

Integrated. Yeah, it's great. So anyway, we're not having a thing at the LA Convention center for folks who need to get building permits for the Palisades or Malibu or. Or Altadena. We're not gonna have a thing where they can come down and expedite that and go from table to table. But we are having this in Los Angeles. It's a justice fair. By the way, gifts. It's. By the way, the plaque says justice fair, 2025. Gifts that. Keep giving. Okay. And it's at the Expo Center. And let's look. She's very proud of this. The thing about the mayor. There's a mayor of Los Angeles. Let's just.

Forget about Los Angeles. Let's just say it's the mayor of Muncie, Indiana. And Muncie, Indiana, burns to the ground.

Half of Muncie, Indiana, burns to the ground. And every press conference the mayor has is about something other than Muncie burning to the ground. She's yelling about Trump, she's yelling about ice, she's yelling about former criminals. And there's no discussions about Muncie burning to the ground. And it's been a year. You'd say that's weird, right? That's a weird way to govern. Muncie. All right, here it is. Sorry. It's.

[H]

Fine. Hello, I'm Mayor Karen Bass, and I'm inviting you to join us for the 2025 Justice Fair on Saturday, December 6, at the LA Expo center, hosted by my Office of Community Safety. Angelenos impacted by the justice system will have access to second chance.

[A]

Opportunities. All right, hold on. Impacted by the justice system are Asian women who got punched by black guys walking down the street. Not the black guy who punched them were impacted by the justice system. I love the euphemisms. You were.

[C]

Impacted.

[A]

Yeah. Because you fucking stole a guy's RV and went on a.

[B]

Joyride. That's like I call you. I call you and tell you I can't be in work because I'm. I got impacted by the justice system last.

[A]

Night.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. And my car was.

[A]

Towed.

[B]

Yeah. I'm in.

[A]

Jail. Is Rudy a funny? Stand up. He's impacted by the comedy.

[C]

System. Yeah. If you were to do a turducken of, you take the justice fair and then inside of the justice fair, you go with your free Raiders tickets for free cockfights for Raiders fans. You could double your.

[A]

Numbers. I.

[C]

Could. The turducken of.

[A]

Justice. All right, let's hear it one more time. Just because it makes me laugh. But anyway, I've not seen any pressers on the fires, just.

[H]

This. I'm Mayor Karen Bass and I'm inviting you to join us for the 2025 Justice Fair on Saturday, December 6, at the LA Expo center, hosted by my Office of Community.

[A]

Safety. By the way, Angeleno's Inc.

Office of Community Safety. Six yentas all fucking creating jobs for their fucking fat daughters who do nothing. Yeah.

[B]

Right. We can assume that they're keeping money inside the system. It's just looping.

[A]

Around. You can just see five chicks you don't want to fuck getting paid doing nothing. Right. All right.

[D]

Sorry. Keep it.

[H]

Going. Angelenos impacted by the justice system will have access to second chance opportunities such as employment, housing, and education resources. So join us as we build pathways to opportunity and safer and stronger communities. JusticeFair.org to register today. That's JusticeFair. F A I R.org to register today. Thank you. And see you.

[A]

There. Yeah. She's not gonna be there. Yeah, no, I don't think she's.

[C]

There. Can you imagine a guy like, named Frank who just works at a warehouse who does nothing? He has like just, you know, plumbing couplers. And then they come in and his boss is like, hey guys, we gotta go down and do the justice fair, cuz we're trying to bring some new people in. He'd be like, I've been working this place for 35 years, trying to work my way up And a guy who just did seven years hard time for armed robbery. Now that guy just gets to walk in here and get a.

[A]

Job. These are individuals who are impacted by the justice system.

[C]

Tim. Well, I mean, have you negative have looked around here? Have you looked around this place? I mean, there's a lot of just loose ends lying around. Come on, Bill, Bill, you really want to have a guy around here who got busted for grand theft auto? I mean, look at your brand new vehicle is parked out back. You want that guy around your.

[A]

Vehicle? I was here when Eric Garcetti was explaining that we owe them a debt of gratitude. Get out of this system once they're unincarcerated. That was the mayor before her was explaining we owe felons a debt of gratitude when they're paroled. So we're gonna have a tough time with crime, if that's our.

[C]

Posture. Yeah. Also, how many justice fairs are happening in Muncie, Indiana, now that we bring it up? Probably none. I mean, maybe one every other.

[A]

Year. Look, I may be mistaken, but. But her city burnt to the ground and every presser is about doing something with Trump fighting ice or justice fairs. I've not. Well, obviously she doesn't want to talk about the fires, cuz that's kind of on her. And anyway. All right, what's.

[C]

Next? Sorry, Foreign tourists could be required to disclose 5 years of social media histories under Trump.

[A]

Administration. Poland, this Mamdami thing, could it.

[D]

Be.

[A]

Good.

In the sense that I've told you guys. When my daughter was little, maybe three, maybe four, she was a crazy daredevil. And her favorite game was running on top of the bed and launching herself at me. And I got good reflexes and long arms and I could snatch her up before she hit the carpet. But she kept telling me, move it back. She was so young, she couldn't say move it back. She said, like less forward or something, like less close. Like she's just moving. I kept moving back and she'd get run. And she'd go superwoman, head first, just dive. And loved it. Laughed. Laughed and loved it. And she'd go, life swore. And.

And I'd go, okay. And she'd get running and she'd superwoman. And she'd be traveling 8ft, 9ft in the.

[C]

Air. Super person.

[A]

Adam. Super person. And I'm long and I got long legs and I moved fast. I could snatch her up, but at some point she moved me so far back, I said, I can't get you. She said, move it back. I said.

I can't do it. Not gonna be able to do it. I'm going for.

[C]

It. Try it, old.

[A]

Man. I said, go ahead, give it a try. She ate shit. Yeah, she went headfirst in the fucking carpet and just ate shit. But she never told me to move it back again. Yeah, maybe when New York eats shit for the next four years, when they fucking eat shit over there, maybe some of the progressive bitches who live in that piece of shit who vote for these assholes will finally fucking wake up. And maybe we can export that to other places who are thinking the same thing, like Los.

[C]

Angeles. I hope that you are correct about this. My biggest worry is they are gonna jump off the bed, they're gonna eat shit, as you say, into the carpet. They're gonna look up and go, it's your fault. You didn't catch me. Yeah, you guys, you knew that this was gonna happen. Why didn't you do anything to protect.

[A]

Us? Well, Andrew writes they won't report on it, which is true. They're not gonna wanna vigorously report on all his fucking failures like they won't do in general. So you're right. But the people live there will live it. They'll know it. All right, what's.

[C]

Next? Yeah. So foreign tourists could be required to disclose 5 years of social media histories under Trump administration plan. The Customs and Border Protection proposal would apply even to countries that don't require visas to enter, such as the United Kingdom and Germany. The Trump administration plans to require all foreign tourists to provide their social media histories from the last five years to enter the country, according to a notice published to published Tuesday in the Federal Register. Now, I know some people.

I'll tell you this. One of the best things that I've ever read about comedy was I read a book about it, and inside the book, the guy was saying that he didn't start comedy until he was much later, like in his, like upper 30s, lower 40s. And the best thing that ever happened to him was starting it because he didn't have the thoughts of a 20 year old that were going to haunt him later in life. And I was like, yeah, absolutely. So when I'm reading this, I think, yeah, I wouldn't hire somebody if I worked for, let's just say the LA Rams. And I was looking to hire a guy to do social media for us. And I go on his website and he's a Cardinals fan and all he does is talk shit about the LA Rams. I would probably go, not gonna hire that.

[A]

Guy.

[C]

Yeah. So same thing about entering a country if you go on your website and just talk shit about us, probably pump the brakes before we let you.

[A]

In. I would agree. First things first, we don't need you. So we want good folks who contribute. I don't know why that's a head scratcher to people, number one. Number two, what they're gonna do is they're gonna go, well, Trump's gonna not let in people that talk shit about Trump. Trump, but he's the President of the United States. So if you're talking shit about the President of the United States and you're talking shit about the United States, so fuck y'. All. And to be fair, it's not like I could move to England because they'd look at my tweets the last five years, calling everyone fucking cowards and pussies about COVID and fighting about everything. Covid. And telling fucking lazy school teachers would get the fuck back to work and telling everyone they're fucking pussy cowards about COVID And they wouldn't let me in. Yeah, right, of course. I mean, why would they let me in? They love.

[C]

Covid.

[A]

Yeah. Over.

[C]

There. That's the number one piece of.

[A]

Advice. I'd get arrested at Heathrow for saying what I've said about COVID Yeah, they don't really. They don't care whether it's accurate or not. They talk shit about something that they were lying about and they would get upset.

[C]

About. Yeah, it's the number one piece of advice that they give to anybody that is going into college or transferring from, transitioning from, say, you know, college life into, like, the NBA or the NFL is, hey, clean up your goddamn social media. You don't want any of this coming back to bite you in the ass. And because everybody feels so entitled. I saw a video with Louis CK the other day who was signing his book, and some lady walked up to him and said, oh, my gosh, I'm your biggest fan. Thank you so much for all of the things that you've done for me. When I saw you for the first time, I wanted to be just like you. And Louie's like, oh, that's very nice. And then she goes, yeah, beat off in front of my co workers. And he goes, oh. And then he signs the book and he kind of smirks and he hands her back the book. And then he looks over and he says, don't forget your camera. Like, I know what you're doing here, you know, and he kind of says it, but.

[A]

Yeah. Is that clip on the.

[C]

Internet? I think it's on The Internet, I think you can find it. Yeah. But when I saw it, I thought to myself, who are you to go in? Why do you think that you have the power to go in and, like, I have to settle this guy's hash from a thing that happened six years ago, seven years ago? I'd like. Who do you think you are, why you're walking up to have him sign his book to.

[A]

You?

Well, first off, women have gone nuts. But to be fair, we let them go nuts. Yeah, we used to have rules with.

[C]

Women. They're all gone.

[A]

Now. It's not very ladylike. A young lady would never raise her voice to Louis CK or present. We let them. We let them go nuts. We let dogs go nuts. We let kids go nuts. You can let anybody go nuts. I know people think this is horrific, but.

First off, I said to Dr. Drew when we were on Loveline in the late 90s, I said, we're ruining women and we're ruining black people. And people go, well, what the fuck does that mean? We are raising them with a steady diet of. You don't have to listen to anyone. Don't let anyone talk to you that way. Don't let anyone disrespect you. And they all fucking started going nuts. Because you do need to let people talk to you a certain way. You do need to be disciplined. Yes, you will be disrespected. But don't look at it as I was disrespected. But if you start telling everyone that, then they'll fucking start going nuts. And it has not helped the black community that. Don't let anyone tell you anything and don't let anyone disrespect. Yeah, don't let anyone disrespect. Someone sends a fucking tweet and they go shoot somebody. Now you're in fucking prison for the rest of your life. So it's no, let them disrespect you, number one. Also, women, there's a way to go through life. And fighting ice officers is not the way to go. And also, they think they have superhuman powers. Like, I'm gonna stand in front of that ice van and block it. No, you're not. You're gonna get fucking run over. Like, you're gonna get hurt. You're gonna get hit in the face with a paintball. Like, you cannot do everything. You're not a hero. You're not number one. You're not a Nubian princess. You can't have anyone never talk to you. There's not anyone who's ever Born like you. Knock it off. It's fucking you.

[C]

Up.

[A]

Yeah. By the way, the groups, every Asian who thrives in this country is like, you're replaceable. You need to work harder. Sure, that's the message. Not your number one. And you're fat and you can't speak a second.

[C]

Language. Yeah, I saw double that this morning at the Las Vegas airport going through tsa. A woman who has a dog with her who has the service vest on, and the dog is spinning circles on the leash while we're all trying to get our luggage onto the conveyor belt to get through the screener. And she goes, you know, and she's done up. She's got the hair, she's got the 30 necklaces, she's got the, you know, the. What do you want? Like the shawl over.

[A]

The. Yeah, I don't know what the shawl's.

[C]

For. And then the dog is spinning circles. And then she goes, I'm so sorry. He's only two. He's only two, everybody. He's only two. And I'm like, then why is he in an airport with a service. First off, that dog is nuts. Get him out of here. And secondly, you shouldn't be. Who gave you the passage to bring this goddamn dog on here? That person should be fired as.

[A]

Well. Oh, oh, oh, O'Reilly Auto Parts. Yeah, you know the jingle. Now get to know the guys and gals over there at O'Reilly Auto Parts, man. They keep your car on the road. You don't be stuck by the shoulder looking like a dope. Friendly, helpful service people who actually know their stuff, not just some kid who'd rather be on his phone. I've always used O'Reilly. That was my thing, man. I did a lot of my own wrenching back in the day. Now, cars are modern. You don't need to do as much wrenching. But I do a lot of wrenching on my race cars because they're vintage. So whether you're a gearhead or you don't know a lug nut from a donut, they'll walk you right through it. No attitude, just help. @ O'Reilly. Stop by O'Reilly Auto Parts today or you can visit [e-mail] Adam. That's O'Reillyauto.com Adam.

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We ruin them. Yeah, we let them off the leash. I'm not talking about the dogs. We told women don't let. Don't listen to anybody and do what you want. And they fucking. They're.

[C]

Doing.

[A]

It. Absolutely. And it's not. And they're all fucking miserable. Except for the ones who didn't do it. The ones that were, like, had kids, liked being a housewife, conservative and all that kind of stuff.

[C]

They're happy.

[A]

Absolutely. Yeah. So keep going, ladies. Enjoy yourself. It's.

[C]

Gonna work. Authorities intercept drone carrying crab legs, old bay seasoning, and weed for prisoner inmates. Authorities confirmed that a drone was intercepted at a prison. According to a statement posted to X on Monday by the S.C. department of Corrections, a drone arrived at Lee Correctional Institution carrying.

[A]

Multiple items. I'll weigh on a limb and say this probably wasn't a Jew or an Asian in there with menthol cigarettes, crab legs, and dry rub. I'm going to go maybe black.

[C]

Maybe black. There's a DVD of Superfly in.

[E]

There.

[A]

Too. Yeah. What is that? They got a steak, too. So they're.

[C]

Cooking.

[A]

Right? Yeah. I don't know if I would intercept a drone filled with food. I'd have to check it out. But once I got it, I could not throw away the crab legs and the steak. If I was to warden, I'd have to get. I'd find my fattest guard and be like.

[C]

Come here. Take.

[A]

It home. Take it home. Take these cigarettes, too. Wow. So they can fly. They can use.

[D]

Drones.

[C]

Now? Yeah. I'm trying to think, is that a DJI that they were using? They must be. They got a Mavic 2.

[A]

Up there. You.

[C]

Know drones? I do know drones a little bit. I got a couple of them. I got two.

[A]

Of them.

[C]

You do? Yeah. That I fly, that. I'm not, like, great with them, but I know how to. And I know a little bit about them. But, yeah, it's amazing, the technology nowadays, just how those. How small they can be, and how much actual poundage you can lift off the ground with one of those things. It's.

[A]

Pretty incredible. Mm. What would be in your drone drop, Rudy, if you're in.

[C]

The joint? Ooh.

Let'S see. I would probably go. Just because I'm from Minnesota, I would probably want to go. Some sort of, like, Minnesota delicacy. Like, why don't you throw a little bit of petits in there? That was for. That'd be for. Obviously, this is the prison in St. Cloud, Minnesota. We wouldn't be bringing this one down to San Quentin. This would be for the northern Minnesotans that are doing hard time. Maybe do a porchetta. I mean, if you want to do some meat, a little bit of seasoned pork. Probably roll your own, like some zigzags. I think I'd rather go. Dawson, you can attest to this. Would you rather go loose leaf tobacco and then roll your own smoke inside of the joint or would you rather have somebody try to smuggle in like a carton of smokes like.

[B]

This guy? I would think it's probably easier to hide.

[A]

Loose.

[B]

Tobacco. Yeah. And papers and it gives you something to do. Probably tough to hide a pack of cigarettes. And those cigarettes are gonna.

[A]

Get crushed.

[G]

Sure.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. Well, I would bring in a carton of menthol cigarettes, but just cause I wanted to trade with.

[E]

The.

[A]

Brothers. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like I have to use some barter. It's not all for me, you know what I mean? I gotta. I got a little. Get a little muscle, a little protection, you know, an extra sloppy joe at lunchtime. There's some shit on the shingle. Like I think I'd bring the menthols in just to trade with the. To barter with.

[C]

The.

[A]

Brothers. Yeah. You know what.

[C]

I'm saying? Dude, they got crab legs and steak, so. Yeah, you gotta be in there trading a.

[A]

Little bit. Yeah. And I do the. I think the steak's not a bad. Not a bad idea at.

[C]

All. Yeah. But they still make old porno mags. Could you drop some porno mags in there for.

[A]

The boys? I'd throw one in. If I was loading up a gift drone for inmates or criminally involved or judiciously involved, whatever they are, I'd throw a hustler in there. Just how do you do? You know what.

[C]

I mean? Yeah, yeah. If you really wanted to be a dick, I would just go through and just tear out all the actual pages that you wanted to see and just leave them with the articles, throw it over the top and be like, well, sorry guys, this is lining the inside of my fish.

[A]

House now. Yeah. Like maybe a barely legal inaugural edition, you.

[C]

Know?

[A]

93. Sure. Yeah, yeah. All right, you got.

[C]

One more? Let's do one more. So you're gonna. Obviously we pulled this one just for you, Adam. A Biden era health official who identifies as transgender is outraged at the current Department of Health and Human Services has changed his template to showcase his birth name Richard Levine instead of his trans identifying name, Rachel Levine. On Tuesday, HHS took to X to unapologetically confirm the change, which apparently took place during the Democrat backed government shutdown. The portrait plaque is displayed in the.

[A]

HHS offices. I love the world class Trolling. I love Biden's picture down and the auto pen up. I love it. And by the way, fuck y'. All. You guys deserve every bit of this show shit. There's a speech. Oh, do we have Louis CK telling someone to fuck off? All right, you can.

[B]

Find that.

[A]

Still looking. There's a speech of Admiral Levine. I think it's one of the ones. It's him doing an LGBT community whatever thing for military or something like that. It's grotesque. It's weird.

You think about all these fucking zero burgers. Like, remember Janet Yellen? Like this matronly 75 year old dumb shit broad was in charge of the economy. You know inflation is transitory. Right. She'd just be up there talking out of her ass the whole time. And you're like, can we get some fucking serious people to do a.

[B]

Fucking job? These are the adults that.

[A]

Were backing. Yes. Admiral Levine was up there in their Salvation army outfit talking about trans rights or something. And it's like, first off, can you just do whatever your job is? Is it always about trans community or can we just fucking work on bridges and roads and stuff? You know what I mean? Like, Pete Buttigieg was transportation. The guy never did anything. He never fucking worked. He took three months off for paternity leave after adopting.

[C]

A.

[A]

Kid.

Yeah. The guys in, okay.

The. Imagine this. You were in charge of all the roads and all the bridges and all the highways and everything, and you fucking adopted a kid with your husband and you're going home for three months for.

[C]

Paternity.

[A]

Leave. Yeah. Now you can go, oh, I work from home. Okay. But shouldn't you be coming into the office since you have one of the highest jobs.

[C]

In America? Yeah. Could you imagine being on a construction site somewhere, any blue collar place, and somebody brings it up? Those guys would just go, yeah, that's Greg. I think he's into the boys. Anyway, let's get back to the shit we gotta take care of. Cause we gotta get this thing done. Informed by 5pm and he.

[A]

Thought that.

Oh, they're doing the poor first thing the.

[C]

Next.

[A]

Morning. Yeah. Because otherwise you wouldn't really need to feed it at the end of the day because you wouldn't form. The poor would have to be first thing the.

[C]

Next morning. Yeah, of course. The next. Yeah, yeah. You don't want to do it at night. That's.

[A]

That's silly. You wouldn't pour it at.

[C]

After five. After five.

[A]

Yes. Okay. Sorry. I got caught up in that.

[C]

You.

[H]

Know.

[A]

Yep. He. He's a guy declared.

[C]

Bridges racist. He claimed the way that Bridges scowled at me as I was.

[A]

Walking around. They were racist because they weren't tall enough to accept buses from the inner city getting to the beach, that the evil white man made them lower on purpose so black people couldn't be. But, oh, this is that. Okay, this is good. This is. Pete. This.

[C]

Is awesome. If an underpass was constructed such that a bus carrying mostly black and Puerto Rican kids to a beach or that would have been in New York, was designed too low for it to pass by, but that obviously reflects racism that went into those design choices. I don't think there's anything to lose.

[A]

By confronting. By the way, hold on. The bridge was built in 1931. And nobody's ever had this thought before, but I wouldn't call it, obviously, because nobody's ever had this thought before. Pete Buttigieg. Wove. Race. And by the way, the key to all the Biden appointees was weave race into every single conversation. You can be in charge of national security. You can be in charge of the border. You can be in charge of infrastructure. You can be in charge of nuclear power plants. You can be in charge of the education system. You can be in charge of anything. Farms and agriculture. But always make sure you're talking about race, because we're here to agitate. Talk about race in the LGBT community at.

[C]

Every.

[A]

Turn. Sure. So everyone thinks we're living in a society. We're not. Yeah. Oh, we have. Oh, I got hurt the climate. All right, we got Admiral.

[C]

Levine, and I think we.

[A]

Have every. Which is.

[C]

Richard Levine.

[D]

Richard Levine.

[A]

Richard Levine. Talking about race and.

[C]

Climate change. Also. Wouldn't you just grab Pete and go, hey, man, what if the guy who designed that bridge was a.

[A]

Black dude? Oh, well, I'll tell you, Puerto Ricans probably.

[C]

Built.

[A]

It. Yeah. All right, here we go. Here's the good news. It's.

[D]

All right. Let's.

[C]

Just listen. Oh.

[G]

My God. Hello, I'm Admiral Rachel Levine. This Black History Month, I'm pleased to partner with OMH in advancing better health through better understanding for black communities. Climate change is having a disproportionate effect on the physical and mental health of black communities. Communities. Black Americans are more likely than white Americans to live in areas and housing that increase.

[A]

Their susceptibility. All right, hold on a second. You understand why nothing ever gets done? We're spending money on this. Yeah, this. And by the way, they always pair with some organization. Yeah. You know about the Somalis and the organizations that you pair with so they can get the kids lifted up from poverty and retardation and nothing.

[C]

Ever, nothing happens but you line your.

[A]

Pockets, right? All right, so the black community, you got to start this one at the top. This is great. I.

[G]

Forgot this. Hello, I'm Admiral Rachel Levine. This Black History Month, I'm pleased to partner with OMH in advancing better health through better understanding for black communities. Climate change is having a disproportionate effect on the physical and mental health of black communities. Black Americans are more likely than white Americans to live in areas and housing that increase their susceptibility to climate related health issues. And 65% of black Americans report feeling anxious about climate.

[A]

Change'S impact. Yeah. Cause you. Hold on. Because you never stop scaring them about shit. All the time. You make them think this and that's why they're anxious. What the fuck were we doing for four years, everybody? And why do people think this is something?

Yeah, all right, sorry.

[G]

Go ahead. And the Office of Environmental Impact, through our Office of Climate Change and Health Equity and the.

[A]

Office of. Hold on a second. How many fucking millions of dollars did they fucking launder.

Their offices of Climate Change and Health equity? How much money did we fucking doge out to those dudes we just had? How many millions did they fucking waste to.

[C]

Do nothing? How many non racist bridges could we.

[E]

Have.

[A]

Built? Right? And by the way, Elon and the Tech Bros are bad because they don't want the millions of dollars that go nowhere to keep going there. Okay, here.

[G]

We go. Health Equity and the Office of Environmental Justice. We're working with providers and community leaders to identify innovative approaches that empower communities to address the health consequences. Consequences linked to climate change. Visit hhs.gov hold on.

[A]

Hold on. This thing's like four years old. Have they made any headway? Yeah, black folk. How's it going with the climate change? Because I'm fine, but you are.

[C]

Climate impacted. Yeah, well, they'd love to be able to tell you, but they can't get underneath.

[A]

Those bridges. They can't find me. I'm at the.

[C]

Beach.

[A]

Bro. Sorry. All right, we'll keep.

[D]

Them.

[G]

Going. Sorry. Information. And tune in next Thursday to hear from another HHS leader and how you can contribute to advancing better health for.

[A]

Black communities. All right, so when I was telling Kelsey Grammer, these are process people, that's exactly what this is. I wanna fucking talk about this shit and talk about this shit. And by the way, my mom, if she was alive, would be watching this and she'd be nodding.

[C]

Her.

[A]

Head.

[D]

Sure.

[A]

Yeah. Good. Okay. Okay, it's good. They. And then I. Then I would go, what fucking difference does it make? How are you helping these people? I don't get it. What the fuck? Who cares? We're wasting time. And she'd go, don't you care about the black community? Yeah, I do, but they need fucking vocational training. They need a commercial going. You could fucking learn to be a certified welder in nine months, black person. And we'll teach you how to.

[C]

Do it. Yeah, we can teach you how to weld. And then you can go ahead and head on down to the Black Health Equity Fair and grab yourself some air purifiers and then go install them into the black community yourself. And that way it all comes.

[A]

Full circle. All right, we can't find Louis ck. Oh, who will be a guest coming up on an upcoming show very shortly, by.

[C]

The way. Next time, I'll tell you what, I'll send it to you guys. Cause I know where it is. I'll send it to you guys and you guys can play it for Adam.

[A]

Next show. All right, Meme Gods, the documentary about all things meme that I produce with Cedric the Entertainer is going to be available at Ungala Films for free starting now. So free. Go to film.gala.com and you can watch it for free. It's.

[D]

Really good.

[A]

Super good. Thanks, Dawson. You can't do better than free. All right, Kelsey Grammer, Turbulence and Karen. The book is out. You can go to AdamCarola.com for all the live shows coming up. Tonight, 14 Lauderdale Improv, and then two shows in Miami at the Improv and then Fort Lauderdale again, everybody. And then Sagebrush Cantina with Brad Williams, the 18th of December. Come on out, AdamCroll.com, rudy shows.

[C]

For you. Yeah, I'll be with you this weekend in Florida and then you can find me with Adam in Vegas, the 19th and 20th at Jimmy Kimmel's. And then January 16th, I'll be at the red carpet in St.

[A]

Cloud, Minnesota. So till next time, Adam from Kelsey Grammar and Rudy.

[B]

Saying mahalo.

Pick up your phone and leave us a voicemail at 888-634-1744 and then get tickets to see the Ace Man Adam Corolla show.

[A]

Christmas.

[B]

Podcast. January. No. What the hell date is it? December 18th at Sagebrush Candy. Tina, get.

[A]

Your [e-mail].

Pluto tv streaming pluto tv for free. Stream blockbuster hits like 21 jump street ted, the expendables and so much more on pluto tv. Stream now pay never.

The World, Pluto TV is free with all.

[C]

The best.

The holidays are brutal so.

[A]

If you're feeling frugal String Pluto TV String Pluto TV stream Pluto TV for free stream blockbuster hits like 21 Jump Street, Ted, the Expendables and so much more on Pluto TV stream now pay Never.