Podcast Summary: Adam Carolla Show – "Pete Holmes Roasts Ellen and Does Al Pacino Impression"

Date: March 24, 2026
Host: Adam Carolla
Guest: Pete Holmes
Producer/News: Mike Dawson

Main Theme & Purpose

This episode features comedian Pete Holmes, who joins Adam Carolla for an engaging, freewheeling conversation blending observational comedy, personal anecdotes, roasts, riffs on comedy etiquette, and some sharp-edged social commentary. The discussion covers Holmes’ comedic evolution, the subtleties of stand-up, industry stories (including a comedic deconstruction of Ellen DeGeneres), etiquette in both comedy and everyday life, and rapid-fire riffs on pop culture, language, and more.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Comedy Etiquette & Comedy Evolution

• Comedian-to-Comedian Rapport: Adam and Pete explore what it means to make comedy for fellow comedians vs. the wider public. Adam praises Pete’s special as “smart and simultaneously silly and also a little provocative” (05:00), noting its broad coverage of styles and topics. Pete explains he’s not targeting utilitarian, crowd-pleasing routines but seeks to grow, think, and share.
• On developing material: Pete muses that good comedy needs to be “a little bit like a weird dream you had: goofy up top, maybe gets confusing, then a little frightening” (06:16).
• Serving the Audience vs. Serving Yourself: Both reflect on balancing personal growth as comics with keeping the audience engaged. “At some point, if the troops aren’t enjoying what you’re serving, then maybe you’re not serving them.” (07:54, Adam)
• “Burger” vs. “Jicama Reduction”: The ongoing metaphor of crafting comedy “burgers” for audiences, with Pete joking about a “utilitarian routine that everyone is on board for” but noting that’s never what got him into comedy (06:46).

2. Notable Riff: Q-Tips, Ellen, and Comedic Premise Etiquette

• Q-Tip Bit and Ellen’s Infamy: The infamous “don’t put Q-Tips in your ear” routine is discussed, leading to bashing Ellen DeGeneres for shooting down other comics’ premises.
  • Adam recounts, “[Jimmy Kimmel] tried to do the Q-Tip bit [on Ellen], and she just... she did not graduate to Groundlings” (14:13–15:21).
  • Pete: “You’re supposed to say ‘yes!’ The guy’s trying. He’s floating a premise” (15:30).
  • Adam and Pete agree: the role of a comic is to support the premise, not shoot it down.
• Comedy Collaboration Principle: They contrast Ellen’s failure to “yes-and” with Kimmel’s supportive vibe and Colbert’s similar talk-show interruption—both as teachable moments in comedic rhythm and etiquette (23:20–27:01).
  • Memorable Exchange:
    • Adam: “If Cynthia Szigeti from the Groundlings was still alive, she’d come and hit her with a fucking folding chair.” (15:23)
    • Pete (on Kimmel): “When I did the Q-tip bit on Kimmel... he lights up and he’s like ‘yes!’” (15:53)

3. Stand-Up, Life, & The Evolution of Audiences

• Holmes discusses how his act and audience have evolved, especially with material about religion, identity, and sensitive topics (31:43–35:23).
• The Trans Joke Example: Pete details how he crafted a joke about the “13th floor” to demonstrate how society bends to people’s feelings all the time—drawing parallels with pronoun debates and poking fun at both progressive and resistant audiences (33:13–34:10, 35:09–35:23).

4. Nostalgia, Everyday Annoyances, and Life Etiquette

• Store Smells and 90s Nostalgia: The pair talk about how stores used to have unique smells—a humorous, sharply-observed bit about cultural changes (10:09–11:16, 11:31).
  • Pete: “You know who still has smells? If you go to a small town health food store, it smells exactly like 1991.” (10:48)
• Cash, Car Seats, and Hotel Etiquette:
  • Pete and Adam swap stories about cash, parents’ habits, valets never resetting car seats, and why nobody “undoes” actions (putting things back as found).
  • Adam: “Everybody does. Nobody undoes.” (59:28)

5. Roasting Ellen & Late-Night Comedy Etiquette

• Anecdotes about Ellen’s behind-the-scenes persona emerge, with Adam calling her dance persona “faking it.” Holmes uses this as a metaphor for not wanting to burn out in his own stand-up—preferring quality over sheer quantity of gigs (25:01–25:59).
• Comedy “racing rules”: Adam compares comedy etiquette to car racing—there are unwritten rules for how to let a premise play out or “stay in your line” onstage (26:07–27:01).

6. Pop Culture, Language, and Social Commentary

• Vibrator/Q-Tip parallels: A recurring riff draws parallels between 1960s “personal massagers” sold as neck massagers and Q-tips marketed for everything but their real use. “The Q-tip is the 60s dildo of today” (13:01).
• Language, insults, and gender: Pete and Adam riff on terms like "douchebag," "cocksucker," and the evolution of language as insults cross gender lines (66:00–67:22).
  • Pete: "I love a lady who says, ‘suck my dick!’" (65:41)
• On “doers vs. undoers:” The show’s refrain—people do things (move the clock, change the seat) but never put things back: "Everyone does. No one undoes" (56:15).
• On Boston: Holmes makes an extended riff about the unique blue-collar mean-smart energy of Boston (“They love the R word; never stopped...” 63:59–64:53).

7. Al Pacino Impressions and Movie References

• Pete channels his Al Pacino voice for a segment on the film "Cruising," leading to playful riffing about coded signals in the 1970s gay club scene (46:05–49:42).
  • Pete (as Pacino): “I like golden showers. It’s a wonderful thing when a man’s dehydrated and you’re dirty. You want to get clean, but also filthy.” (49:42)

8. Philosophical and Social Hot Buttons

• Pete riffs seriously (but comedically) about how we treat prisoners, societal attitudes to sexual assault in prison, and legal/ethical blindness to these issues (38:52–41:32).
  • Memorable moment: Pete attempts a controversial bit connecting “buzz driving is drunk driving” PSAs, legal technicalities, and how quickly regular people could end up in jail due to chance circumstances (39:14–40:24).

9. Miscellaneous Observational Humor

• Complaints about Hotels and Maids: The hosts compare notes on maids/housekeepers moving things or changing settings, with repeated bits about clock orientation and slippers (“Wicker please. They’re by your bed. That’s where it is.” 53:59).
  • Both advocate tipping housekeepers generously and writing thank you notes (60:39).
• Tall Guy Problems: Adam corrects Pete on door height; fun banter about how only short valets move seats all the way forward (58:02–59:12).

Notable Quotes & Moments (with timestamps)

• "I want a comedy special to be a little bit like a weird dream you had..." – Pete Holmes [06:08]
• "You’re supposed to say yes! ...The guy’s trying." – Pete Holmes on Ellen’s failed improv [15:30]
• "If Cynthia Szigeti from the Groundlings was still alive, she’d come and hit her with a fucking folding chair." – Adam Carolla [15:23]
• "Everybody does. Nobody undoes." – Adam Carolla [59:28]
• "[Ellen] faking it on her show to make us think she's a nice person." – Adam Carolla [25:13]
• On language:
  • "I love a lady who says 'suck my dick!'" – Pete Holmes [65:41]
  • Pete: "In Boston... You know the rest of the country has retired the R word, right? They fucking love it. They never stop." [63:59]
• On Q-tips:
  • "The Q-tip is the 60s dildo of today." – Pete Holmes [13:01]
  • "You’re not supposed to put this in your ear even though it’s the best thing you can do with it." – Adam Carolla [14:22]
• Al Pacino Impression:
  • "It’s a wonderful thing when a man’s dehydrated and you’re dirty. You want to get clean, but also filthy..." – Pete Holmes as Pacino [49:42]
• On Boston blue-collar:
  • "Your guys are mean and smart and racist." – Adam Carolla [64:53]
• On 'doers' and 'undoers':
  • "You need the tab [from the valet] and I need the seat pulled up. But now I’m done with both things. ...These are the people... because they’re done. They do, but they don’t undo." – Adam Carolla [59:31]

Fun & Memorable Pop Culture Bits

• Q-tips, “relaxicizer” dildos, and 1960s marketing.
• Army surplus & health food store smells, 90s nostalgia.
• Gay bandana codes from the movie “Cruising” and Al Pacino riffs.
• Boston’s love for politically incorrect insults.
• “Nobody undoes”: A refrain about hotel maids, valets, and the etiquette of returning things to how you found them.

Timestamps for Important Segments

| Time | Segment | Description | |----------|----------------------------------------------|---------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 05:00 | Praise for Pete Holmes' comedy | Adam discusses Pete’s stand-up style and versatility | | 07:54 | “Burger vs. Chef’s Special” metaphor | Comic taste vs. crowd-pleasing comedy | | 13:01 | Q-Tip/dildo analogy begins | Pete and Adam riff on Q-tips, 1960s dildos, and product honesty | | 15:21 | Ellen DeGeneres talk show etiquette roast | Ellen’s refusal to “yes-and” a guest, contrasted to Kimmel | | 23:20 | Pete on doing Q-tip bit on Kimmel | Good “yes-and” talk show experience | | 25:13 | Ellen “faking it” story at Kimmel’s wedding | Behind-the-scenes story on Ellen’s TV persona vs. real self | | 27:01 | Comedy “racing rules” and etiquette | “Staying on your line” in improv and comedy | | 33:30 | “13th floor” trans joke, crowd reactions | How Pete tests boundaries with different audiences | | 38:52 | Prison sexual assault social commentary | Pete’s philosophical riff on sentencing and prison culture | | 46:05 | Al Pacino “Cruising” movie riff | Pete’s Pacino impression and riff on gay club culture and codes | | 49:28 | Etiquette: maids, undoers/doers | Extended bit on hotels, housekeepers, and shared spaces | | 58:02 | Tall guy problems and valets | Adam and Pete talk door heights, car seats, and “everybody does, nobody undoes”| | 63:59 | Boston, language, and insults | Political correctness, regionalism, and “retired” words | | 65:41 | Gender-flipped swearing | Evolution of insults crossing gender lines |

Overall Tone & Takeaways

• The episode is playful, irreverent, and sharply observational, mixing grumpy-old-man nostalgia, stand-up craft, and pop culture skewering.
• Listeners get an inside view into comedian etiquette, the process behind good stand-up, show-biz stories, and the informal codes that guide both the comedy world and everyday life.
• Adam and Pete’s chemistry is rich and quick, with both quick to roast, but also to give each other the floor for bits.
• The Ellen roast becomes a stand-in for wider conversations about authenticity, performance, and the changing mores of comedy.
• Recurring themes: “Yes-and”-ing, not “undoing,” loving the craft of comedy, and still finding the silly and absurd in daily life.

For Listeners Who Haven’t Heard the Episode

This episode is a real treat for comedy nerds and fans of Adam Carolla’s conversational, observational humor. Whether riffing about Q-tips, dissecting the etiquette of comedy, or channeling Al Pacino, Pete Holmes and Adam Carolla keep things moving, subversive, and genuine. You’ll laugh at the relatable gripes and root for their clear love of comedy’s craft and camaraderie.