Phil Robertson + Clint Howard (Carolla Classics)

Summary

The Adam Carolla Show – Episode: Phil Robertson + Clint Howard (Carolla Classics) Release Date: June 8, 2025

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1. Introduction to Carolla Classics The episode kicks off with Giovanni introducing "Carolla Classics," a segment featuring the best moments and fan-favorite clips from the past 16 years of The Adam Carolla Show. He highlights the featured conversation between Adam Carolla and Clint Howard, setting the stage for an engaging retrospective discussion.

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2. Reflections on 1970s Television and Cultural Shifts Timestamp: 01:48 – 07:33

Adam Carolla and Clint Howard delve into a nostalgic analysis of the iconic TV show "The Brady Bunch." Adam remarks on the stark transformation in fashion and hairstyles between the show's first season in 1969 and its final season in 1974. He nostalgically observes:

"Between 2010 and right now was about the same time from the first season... Gary, find me a season one picture of the Brady Bunch and then find me a groovy picture from the last season."

Clint adds humorously:

"Bald Brian Udweatherax wanted that one on the hashtag top drop on Twitter."

They discuss the exaggerated fashion trends of the 70s, such as oversized belts and frizzy hair, highlighting the rapid cultural changes within a few short years. Adam reflects on how unprecedented such a dramatic shift was for a TV show's long run.

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3. The Evolution of Family Dynamics on Television Timestamp: 07:33 – 09:23

Continuing their discussion, Adam and Clint critique the portrayal of family roles in "The Brady Bunch." Adam muses:

"We needed busy work for her. So if you have an Alice, yes. I was, like, cooking, sewing, and watering. Interesting. All crammed into 22 minutes."

Clint responds with a relatable observation about maintaining functionality within the family structure depicted on the show.

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4. Food Trends: Deviled Eggs and Vegetarianism Timestamp: 11:00 – 28:00

The conversation shifts to culinary preferences and trends. Adam passionately defends the traditional deviled egg against the rise of trendy alternatives like passion fruit-infused dishes. He quips:

"Why did they go the way of the dodo? I mean, they're not on menus. It's... I know, it's one of those California highfalutin bullshit things."

Clint humorously supports Adam's stance by sharing experiences from recent gatherings:

"At our last barbecue... they put little bacon bits on deviled eggs."

The duo further critiques the diminishing presence of hearty, traditional foods in favor of more modern, often less substantial options, tying it back to broader cultural shifts.

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5. Discussion on Birth Control and Political Hypocrisies Timestamp: 13:09 – 23:09

Adam confronts political inconsistencies regarding birth control and smoking. He challenges both sides of the political spectrum, stating:

"They're against abortion... But then you come out with the morning after pill and they're against that. Are you really against that or are you really just against people fucking willy nilly?"

Clint and Allison Rosen join in, dissecting the underlying motives behind political opposition to measures like the morning-after pill, drawing parallels with anti-smoking rhetoric and the resistance to perceived “cleaner” alternatives like e-cigarettes.

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6. The Reality of Vegetarianism in Modern Settings Timestamp: 23:09 – 26:57

The hosts humorously debate the prevalence and authenticity of vegetarians in their immediate environments. Adam quips about hunting for vegetarians on set:

"I want to know all the decaf... the vegetarian eaters here... I want to know who they are."

Clint elaborates on the rarity and stereotypes associated with vegetarians, fostering a light-hearted yet critical view of dietary choices in professional settings.

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7. Special Guest: Phil Robertson Welcomes Listener Engagement Timestamp: 28:00 – 90:50

The episode transitions to a special appearance by Phil Robertson of Duck Dynasty. Phil shares anecdotes from his upbringing, highlighting the rugged lifestyle and self-sufficiency that shaped his character:

"I was born and raised in Burbank, California. ... We ate a lot of fish, a lot of ducks."

Phil discusses the genesis of Duck Commander, detailing how his ability to mimic bird calls led to a successful business venture:

"So, what came out of that was... Duck Commander. That’s the beginning. That's my route."

Clint Howard adds insights into Ron Howard's directing prowess, recounting how Phil secured roles without auditions, emphasizing trust and familial support within the industry.

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8. Exploring Religion, Cancel Culture, and Personal Beliefs Timestamp: 90:50 – 142:00

Phil Robertson opens up about his faith and its influence on his resilience against societal pressures like cancel culture. He reflects on personal experiences of forgiveness and familial bonds:

"We learn to forgive. The cancel culture doesn't even know what it means. ... Love God and love your neighbor, Carolla."

Adam connects Phil's steadfastness to broader themes of personal integrity and the challenges of maintaining it in today's polarized environment.

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9. Closing Discussions: Current Events and Cultural Commentary Timestamp: 142:00 – 146:28

The hosts wrap up with brief news segments covering topics like the lawsuit against MSCHF over unauthorized Nike designs and updates on public figures facing allegations. They intertwine humor with commentary, maintaining the show’s signature blend of irreverence and sharp insights.

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Notable Quotes:

• On Fashion Changes:
  Adam Carolla ([05:20]): "But back then everyone was skinny, so it worked. But then I thought, when have things changed more in a four or five year period."

• On Political Hypocrisies:
  Adam Carolla ([14:27]): "They hate abortions. The left doesn't hate secondhand smoke. They hate things that have the word cigarette in them."

• On Vegetarianism:
  Adam Carolla ([23:04]): "They just don't eat. They really just have a beef with food."

• Phil Robertson on Faith and Cancel Culture:
  Phil Robertson ([107:27]): "She... we learn to forgive. The cancel culture doesn't even know what it means... Love God and love your neighbor, Carolla."

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Conclusion

This episode of The Adam Carolla Show masterfully blends nostalgia with contemporary issues, featuring heartfelt discussions with Clint Howard and Phil Robertson. From dissecting 1970s television to exploring the intricacies of faith and resilience against cancel culture, Adam and his guests offer a rich tapestry of humor, insight, and candid reflections. Whether reminiscing about classic TV shows or unraveling modern societal challenges, the episode provides a comprehensive and engaging listen for both long-time fans and new audiences alike.

Transcript

[Adam Carolla]

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[Adam Carolla]

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[Brian Bishop]

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[Adam Carolla]

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[Giovanni]

Welcome to Corolla Classics. I'm your host, superfan Giovanni. This is the podcast we play the best moments, highlights and fans like the clips from all 16 years of the Adam Carolla Show. We have a companion podcast titled Cruel Classics with ad free archives exclusively available through Podcast one Premium. And to find ad free archives for the Adam Carolla show as well as The Adam and Dr. Drew show and exclusive access to the brand new podcast Beat it out, check out Adam Corolla's substack adamcorola.substack.com and if you'd like to request a clip, Please email us classic adamkurl.com all right, let's get to the clips. Coming up first, we have Adam Carla Show 1373. This is Adam and Clint Howard. One on one, Adam going over Clint's wide ranging career as a child actor, all up until present day, his relationship to his brother, his family. Really fun chat. Hope you guys enjoy.

[Adam Carolla]

Thank you so much for making it possible. I was just standing back there with Clint Howard and he said, wow, it's really wonderful what you've done here, what you've carved out for yourself. And I said, it's not me, Clint, it's the people. It's all about the people telling the people, making it all possible. Good day, Allison Rosen.

[Allison Rosen]

Hello, Adam Carolla.

[Adam Carolla]

Actually, I started talking about racing cars.

[Bald Brian]

Good day, Bald Brian Udweatherax wanted that one on the hashtag top drop on Twitter.

[Adam Carolla]

Here's what we're doing. This is a vacation week for us. God willing, I'll be heading up to Monterey to race a car and you guys are doing whatever you're gonna do.

[Allison Rosen]

I am going on my honeymoon.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, you're going on your honeymoon.

[Allison Rosen]

Daniel's gonna come too.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, he's gonna tag along?

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Awesome.

[Allison Rosen]

Total second wheel.

[Adam Carolla]

Don't let him slow you Down.

[Bald Brian]

So I'm going on Allison's honeymoon too.

[Adam Carolla]

What we're doing is a slightly shorter show with less spots in it. So it'll feel about the same for you guys and we'll have some original content for you guys and we'll get to go on our little vacation. So if the news is a little generic or something hellacious happened and we didn' address it, it's probably just because we pre taped the show.

[Bald Brian]

No, if we don't address it, it didn't happen.

[Adam Carolla]

That's a good point. Couple things. First off, I been watching a lot of Brady Bunch lately and getting very depressed about my own childhood, but also had this thought. I saw one sort of back to back from the last season, 1974. And I saw one from the first season, 1969. And in 1969, season one, everyone was wearing like suits and slacks and short hair and shoes with, you know, sort of wingtip shoes and stuff like that. And then by 1974, it was Groovyville USA, like long, frizzy hair. Everyone's hair had gone nuts. Even Mike was wearing that. First off, you know, everyone always talks about the 70s. They talk about the belts or they talk about the hair and they talk about the fashion, the flare jeans. The belts were out of control. There were huge belts. And not only were they huge, everyone wore one. And they all poked through like they'd be a white belt. Like, would you wear white with like dark blue slacks? And then super thick. The belts were so prodigious back then that the belt loops had to be reinforced, had to be like 2 inches wide. They weren't thin like the pants I'm wearing now, the belt loops, you know, it's 3,8 of an inch wide. It's a half inch wide.

[Allison Rosen]

You could tuck your hand through them.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it was part of the look was the belt and the loop. And you couldn't have possibly needed a belt because your pants couldn't have gotten any tighter.

[Bald Brian]

The ironic belt.

[Adam Carolla]

The ironic belt. But there was everyone. And then I thought to myself, so season one, you take a look at the boys and you take a look at the girls, and you take a look at Mike Brady, the dad, and they're real straight looking, just short hair.

[Bald Brian]

And real ironically straight looking.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. Almost sort of out of the 50s. And then here you go to 1973 and everyone's grooving it up and it's got the crazy. The guys wearing the weird knit long sleeve sweater shirt, things with the stripes that keep getting bigger. Everything was about everyone was so fucking skinny that it was nothing but horizontal stripes. Big horizontal stripes, huge horizontal stripes which.

[Allison Rosen]

Were deeply unflattering in this day and.

[Adam Carolla]

Age would not fly. But back then everyone was skinny, so it worked. But then I thought this. When have things changed more in a four or five year period. Like I was thinking, all right, it's 2014. It's not like you see a picture of you in 2009 and go, oh, God, what was I thinking? This is so embarrassing. I know it's always the kids, but this was Mike Brady too, and so was the wife, and they're just not it. Between 2010 and right now was about the same time from the first. Gary, find me a season one picture of the Brady Bunch and then find me a groovy picture from the last season.

[Allison Rosen]

I mean, I'm trying to think of the last similar cultural revolution.

[Bald Brian]

Was it grunge now? The Summer of Love 67 precipitated rapid change from, you know, the square cut 60s to the groovy 70s within those few years. But maybe grunge, but nowhere near the summer love.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I would think all I can think of and. But, but see, that wasn't universal and I guess nothing ever is. But to me, you know, going from the kind of Leonard Skynyrd kind of thing to the haircut 100 kind of thing where, where, where they got into the new wave romantic or, or even the yuppie kind of look, that was a huge turnabout in about three or four years. But not everyone dove in.

[Bald Brian]

There were still guys.

[Adam Carolla]

This was. Everybody went from just basically Mad Men to welcome Back Kata. Super Boogie Nights. Super groovy. Just big everything. Crazy colors flying at you, crazy hair everywhere, huge belts, huge white vinyl belts you've never seen. As far as a TV show goes, I mean, there's been a million shows that have run for five seasons. Nobody changed like this.

[Bald Brian]

Or subtle changes, but not the sea change.

[Adam Carolla]

Crazy. Like I said, you see the first season. Gary. Here we go, buddy. All right. I mean, they're so buttoned down and so plain and so 50s. It's like nothing changed.

[Allison Rosen]

Then suddenly the Bradys were swinging Bad picture.

[Adam Carolla]

You can just show individual stuff if you want.

[Bald Brian]

Garlic didn't change that much.

[Adam Carolla]

Like from 19. Well, she had a house cleaner's outfit.

[Bald Brian]

Yeah, she had a beautiful.

[Adam Carolla]

Which I liked. And she called everyone Mrs. Brady and Mr. Brady. And when she would talk to Mrs. Brady about Mr. Brady, she'd call him Mr. Brady. To Mrs. Brady. Oh, fucking love that. Oh, boy. I mean, we saw one. Lynette and I watched one the other night where they came home. Is that from their wedding? Nah, I need. You know what? I'll tell you what. I'll make it easier for you, Gary. Give me Greg Brady. Just season one, Greg Brady and last season, Greg Brady. That'll make it easy. I saw one. Lynette and I watched one last night. Toppa. Act one, Mike came home from work. Carol was in the kitchen chopping, Cooking, like, feverishly chopping. Pouring stuff into a pot. Remember that used to be the default activity for mama to do? Like, chopping things.

[Allison Rosen]

She was upset about something. Was she upset? Chopping, upset or just chopping?

[Adam Carolla]

Just chopping.

[Bald Brian]

Her feelings.

[Adam Carolla]

Number two, I think act two, he came home, she was sewing or knitting or something. And then Act 3, he came home and she was watering around. They needed busy work for her. Was back when you couldn't just have the dude walk in through the front door and have her sitting on the sofa, which is a little more realistic depiction of what the fuck's going on today. You need.

[Allison Rosen]

Especially if you have an Alice.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. I was, like, cooking, sewing, and watering. Interesting. All crammed into 22 minutes. Very interesting.

[Bald Brian]

Ambitious.

[Allison Rosen]

How are you guys watching this and enjoying it? Are you watching it and mocking it? What kind of tone is happening while you're watching it?

[Adam Carolla]

I am watching this, and I am saying, all right, now, here they are. They're getting ready for the family ski trip or the family's going to Hawaii. And they're all do. And it was the little things. It wasn't all about the celebrations. It was like when Mike was concerned, he's like, we need to have a Brady meeting now. And everyone would show up and look very concerned. And he'd walk around and he'd say, you know, some of your grades. All right, now we need a picture of season one.

[Bald Brian]

Well, acknowledge he did a good job.

[Adam Carolla]

Decent. I need. Well, I need full slacks and full. I need full regalia. And they're both wearing just vibrant, colorful shirts. I need season one head to toe and see last season head to toe. And then you get. Then you get credit. It was the times when. When Mr. Brady would be concerned because somebody's grades were slipping a little bit. And you're normally. Bobby was normally always such a good student, but he was very concerned because he went from a B to a C in algebra. And it was like that kind of shit that stuck out to me. I was like, what? What? He knows what their grades. He knows what everyone's grades are. And he's really concerned and he wants to go talk to the teacher and stuff like that. My mom's in a room with the door slammed shut, yelling freak out. Spinning her biorhythms wheel around. It was that. And also the vacations. Like we're going on a skiing vacation. We have all the equipment. We're putting it in the station wagon. Come on, Alice. Shoot. Coming to and all that. And I used to just watch that. My piece of shit house in North Holland with no air conditioning. I just go, what is going on? Who are these people? How does this work?

[Allison Rosen]

There's something very attractive about gigantic television or movie families. For example, the von Trapps.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Allison Rosen]

Also just the 10 of us. Anytime there's that many people who are all part of some organization that's a family. It's like you want to be part.

[Adam Carolla]

Of that, but wildly more depressing than watching Sanford and Son.

[Allison Rosen]

Right. That makes you feel better about your.

[Bald Brian]

Life because you could revel in that.

[Adam Carolla]

I could watch Good Times. There's a number of black folk I could watch on TV and feel better about myself.

[Bald Brian]

You identified.

[Allison Rosen]

Then the Cosby's came along.

[Bald Brian]

Everything.

[Clint Howard]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

No.

[Bald Brian]

Then there was a different world and it was game over.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, so it was all over. You should be able to count on the black man to soothe my pain. Not anymore. Guys had to get all fluting with your. With your fucking degrees and sweaters. And now it's all off.

[Bald Brian]

Perfectly round glasses.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right. Ruin it for everybody. All right, where were we? Yeah. Stamps.com. love me some stamps.com youm don't have to make any trips to the post office. Hell no. You got stamps.com. you can buy print official US postage for any letter, any package. You do it on your own computer, do it on your own printer. I always said it's like I got half a bottle of Dasani water here. I have no idea how many stamps I would put on this if I was sending it. And I'm sure the person that received it would be confused because they'd be like, really? Half a bottle. I smell how the number of stamps.

[Allison Rosen]

On here could definitely cover three quarters of a bottle. I would put on way too many stamps because I would hate for the half a bottle of Dasani water to get returned.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. And I would never know. And I would always just put on extra. Well, now you get the digital scale. You put the bottle or whatever you're sending. It's not all water. I'm sure you send other drinks or liquids. Yeah, Smart. Water and Whatnot. Anyway, you can do what over 500,000 small businesses have already done. Go to stamps.com. they got the special bonus offer, 55 bucks free postage. Go to stamps.com. before you do anything else, click on the microphone at the top of the homepage. Type in at them. That is Stamps. You set the gold standard for your business. Your website should do the same. WIX puts you at the helm so you can enjoy the creative freedom of designing your site just the way you want.

[Bald Brian]

Want someone to bounce your ideas off.

[Adam Carolla]

Talk with AI to create a beautiful site together. Whatever your business, manage it from one.

[Allison Rosen]

Place and tie it all together with.

[Bald Brian]

A personalized domain name. Gear up for success with the brand.

[Allison Rosen]

That says you best.

[Adam Carolla]

You can do it yourself on wix. Promo code. Adam. All right, I had a thought. Semi heavy thought. I was thinking, you know, we're talking about, like, whenever we talk about birth control and you're like. And where it's like, yeah, the guys on the right, they don't like the birth. They say. They say they don't like abortion. That's pretty, pretty good. We got a nice picture.

[Bald Brian]

Well, it's got the big belt and the big belt loops you're talking about.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, major loops.

[Bald Brian]

Thick belt loops.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, now I need the one look at the white collar where he's in the white and blue stripe thing. A lot of white pants back then.

[Allison Rosen]

They didn't drink coffee.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. And the ladies didn't have periods.

[Bald Brian]

Utopia.

[Adam Carolla]

The other picture I need of him needs to be in like, just a white shirt and the dark slacks because he's a little colorful on the left. But we'll make my point eventually.

[Allison Rosen]

You need a dedicated Brady Bunch intern if this is your new show.

[Adam Carolla]

So I was thinking about, you know, we used to talk about, oh, these people are against abortion. And then you come out with the morning after pill and they're against that. And you're like, the fuck are they against that for? They're against abortion. Here's the thing. That's gonna stop that or help stop that. So are you really against that or are you really just against people fucking willy nilly?

[Bald Brian]

They're calling their bluff.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I've always said the beef is people just having recreational sex out of wedlock. That's the beef. It's not the. I mean, they don't like abortions.

[Allison Rosen]

But the bigger beef is that. That. But you make your comment first, lest mine get in the way of yours.

[Adam Carolla]

The left version of that is the E. Cigarette. All the. All they've been doing is fucking barking about smoke and secondhand smoke. They've invented something called third hand smoke. So somebody goes, fine, well give these cigarettes that just have water vapor and they're like, no can do, no can do. And it's like, I thought you hated cigarettes. I thought cigarettes were the worst were cigarettes. They're the worst thing known to man. They're the worst thing on the planet. The worst plague ever to hit mankind in the last decade has been cigarettes. So someone's come up with something to do away with the cigarette. And you ass wipes are against that too. So what is it? And then it gets back to, we just don't like the smoking thing. We don't like the word cigarette. We just don't like. It's like I've always said natural gas would do much better and be much more prevalent. We have a ton of natural gas. Half the cars would be running on natural gas except for it has the word gas in it. It's like natural. Oh, that's good gas. If it was called natural wind or something, I'm sure every third car would be running on it by now. Right, but it's called gas and it's no good. In E6 they're called, they got the word cigarette and now we're against it. Meanwhile it's just water fucking vapor. And then you assholes are doing the same thing that the assholes on the right do. The assholes on the right go, well now hold on, the data's not in yet. The science isn't in yet on this. What? Combination of birth control pills that's been around for 50 years. What do you mean the science isn't in? What do you mean the science isn't in on vapor? On water vapor? You take a fucking hot shower every night, don't you? Science done.

[Bald Brian]

Deadly shower.

[Adam Carolla]

You've inhaled vapor in water form. Really? How much science and how much science you need to see cigarettes are killing everyone every day, all day with third hand smoke. Well, what about this then? No, they don't like it. They don't like the idea that somebody is essentially holding something between their fingers and calling it a cigarette. The right doesn't like the idea that people are having sex willy nilly. And I just wish they'd be a little more honest in their approach.

[Allison Rosen]

So what the right will say is the reason that they don't like the morning after pill is or the people who, the people on the right who don't is because they consider it an aborto facient, which is they Think that life starts when the egg meets the sperm, not when it implants, but just when the two of them meet. So like in a test tube, let's say, let's say someone does ivf. They don't go this far, but I will say someone does IVF and in a test tube makes that. Although, you know, they make a whole bunch of sperm and eggs that meet. You only implant a few of them, you freeze the rest, possibly you throw them out. Those are all lives. Anyway, the morning after pill, it's not. People don't know exactly how it works. It may make it hard to implant, it may prevent ovulation.

[Adam Carolla]

There's all these different ways it prevents ovulation from what I know, but they're not interested in the treatment.

[Allison Rosen]

They say to them it's the same as an abortion because blah, blah, blah, blah. Now I'm with you. I think it's much bigger than that. But according to them, no, they fucking love sex. Hobby lobby love sex. It's just they don't like abortion or abortifacients.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. And I'm saying for the right and the left, it'd be nice if you could be less hypocritical about what you claim to want to stop, whether it be abortions or cigarettes, and then actually stand behind it when a piece of science comes along that helps you and what you've been bellyaching about for the last 20 years. Oh, that's a pretty good bias.

[Allison Rosen]

Young Greg Brady looks like the Beaver. Yeah, that's how old fashioned he looks.

[Adam Carolla]

And by the way, this is a four or five year period. I still need, I need some head to toe. Gary. Keep at it, keep at it. All right. Clint Howard is out there. You know the other thing I just thought, I went out on Friday night, I went out to dinner and got some deviled eggs and I thought to myself, like appetizer?

[Bald Brian]

Yeah, Or a full on entree.

[Adam Carolla]

I just mean I feel like ate 22 deviled eggs.

[Bald Brian]

Cool Hand Luke.

[Adam Carolla]

Cool Hand Luke. No. First off, no greater use of paprika on the planet than the deviled egg.

[Allison Rosen]

It's like that's what it was born to be on.

[Adam Carolla]

Aesthetically, it's unbelievable. It's not overpowering, it makes it a little zesty, but you barely taste it. It's awesome. And then I just started thinking, as I've said, this country was much better when we did the stew, the casserole, and I'm now adding deviled eggs. Deviled eggs used to be a part of every Picnic of every kid's potluck.

[Allison Rosen]

People had dishes designed exclusively to hold deviled eggs.

[Adam Carolla]

Now, we got rid of the deviled eggs and we enter passion fruit. And we're all fucked.

[Bald Brian]

Now, at our last barbecue, literally two, three weeks ago, Christie made deviled eggs and she put little bacon pits on top. Like, not bacos, but like little.

[Allison Rosen]

That's the one where Adam and my invitations were lost.

[Bald Brian]

It still hasn't gotten to you yet?

[Adam Carolla]

No.

[Allison Rosen]

It's weird, strange.

[Bald Brian]

A couple deviled eggs, let's be hanging.

[Allison Rosen]

Out with all the other invitations to all your other events.

[Adam Carolla]

I just pay retail to strangers to get my deviled eggs now. I suggest you do the same, Alison.

[Bald Brian]

Either way, point is, it was delicious.

[Adam Carolla]

What is. Why? I guess what I'm saying is, is why did we decide, like, whoever, who I want to fucking infiltrate that secret bunker where these assholes sit around and decide deviled eggs, no good. Passion fruit, iced tea, come on down. Like, why are these things going out of Vogue? Everyone I know loves fucking deviled eggs. Why did they go the way the dodo? I mean, they just. They're not on menus. It's. I know, it's one of those California highfalutin bullshit things.

[Bald Brian]

Natural cage free eggs. I think they should love that.

[Allison Rosen]

On the face of it, they seem unhealthy because there's a lot of yolk and mayonnaise.

[Adam Carolla]

I know, but on the menu is, you know, bacon wrapped, you know, steak tartar and the blah, blah, blah. I mean, it's not like there's not a bunch of other shit on there. That's not bad for you as well. And as somebody pointed out to me, because somebody emailed me a picture of the work thing where they do the as it's. It's my biggest beef in life, pardon the pun, they go on the sandwich run. They get the 10 beef sandwiches, the 10 chicken, and then the 10 veggie sandwiches. First off, there's no such thing as a veggie sandwich. It's just bread with salad. It's not a real sandwich.

[Bald Brian]

No, it's a real sandwich. You forgot to put an ingredient in.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. It's a sandwich minus the meat, the chicken, the whatever, the steak. And so the person shows me the picture, of course, all the beef gone, all the chicken gone. And then a big pile of the veggie sandwiches. Why? And here's the point. Shouldn't those assholes be eating egg salad so I could eat their sandwich when I'm done with the fucking steak sandwich?

[Allison Rosen]

That is a Veggie sandwich.

[Adam Carolla]

Because your fucking lettuce sandwich is bullshit. That tastes like nothing. It's cucumber and lettuce. You don't like sandwiches, you get nothing. It's just carbs with a bunch of fucking water in between it. But if you get. So this should be the new policy. We got rid of the egg salad sandwich. It went the same way as the fucking deviled egg. I don't know why, but somebody needs to bring back egg salad goddamn sandwiches. And then every one of these motherfuckers who claims to be a vegetarian, you get egg salad. And when you don't eat that, because you don't. You're not vegetarians. You really just have a beef with food. Ah, that's right. The right.

[Allison Rosen]

They're the same.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Now, what I'm saying is this. The right doesn't hate abortions. They hate recreational sex. The left doesn't hate secondhand smoke. They hate things that have the word cigarette in them. And vegetarians, they don't hate meat. They fucking hate food.

[Bald Brian]

Hate things that are good.

[Adam Carolla]

They just don't know. They don't eat the sandwich that you get them.

[Bald Brian]

I said they hate things that are good.

[Adam Carolla]

Things are good. Yeah, yeah. They just date. They just don't eat.

[Allison Rosen]

Even peanut butter and jelly would be a vegetarian sandwich.

[Bald Brian]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

They just don't eat anything. Yeah. We can't do the peanut butter, though, with all the allergies floating around.

[Bald Brian]

But, Allison, you avoid meat, right?

[Allison Rosen]

No, I don't eat a ton of it, but I.

[Bald Brian]

Yes. And when's the last time you had an egg salad sandwich? Anyone in this room?

[Adam Carolla]

Nobody.

[Allison Rosen]

My dad always orders it, and he's like 900 years old.

[Adam Carolla]

You do, by the way. You can do a piece of cheese and a slice of tomato with that egg salad, and it's fucking awesome. You can toast the bread. And let me tell you about some egg on egg crime. Egg bread with egg salad. Fucking awesome. Lightly toasted. Nothing better. So the new decree is, I cracked everyone up on the set because I said, listen, I'm not starting season two A Catch a Contractor. I want to know who the fucking vegetarians are right now. I want to know the two fucking people out of the 44 people that are on this fucking set that are going to ruin it for everyone else by getting the veggies platter and the veggie sandwiches, the fucking veggie pizza. Who are they? Who are they? I want to know who they are, by the way. Maybe they don't exist. Maybe we don't need an alternative for them. Maybe that we don't have anyone on this set. Maybe we have a championship crew.

[Bald Brian]

Everyone's like, I thought you, I thought it was you.

[Adam Carolla]

I thought, put them in the windbreaker.

[Bald Brian]

There's a mistaken identity.

[Allison Rosen]

So who did anyone raise their hand.

[Adam Carolla]

Put the orange freeway cone on their head so that can be clearly identified? I haven't got to everyone yet, but I did my fucking things. Like, let's not all be stupid this fucking year. I want to know all the decaf Dr. And when. All the fucking veggie eaters here, all the vegetarians, all the decafs. And let's not overrepresent them. If there's two of them and there's two that are in the decaf, we'll get two fucking sandwiches, not a whole platter.

[Bald Brian]

You're very benevolent.

[Adam Carolla]

Thank you. Fucking lay the law down.

[Bald Brian]

Out of how many people, approximately, did you survey how many self reported vegetarians were there?

[Adam Carolla]

It's usually, there's always two or three. And they're usually the makeup and hair chicks. Cause they're always fucking nuts.

[Bald Brian]

Right, but of the people you've asked so far, how many reported as.

[Adam Carolla]

It's, it's like, you know, I think, I think the vegetarian are afraid of you. Well, no, I think, I think, I think it's almost the same as the gay population. I think if you looked at those lines, you might see 10%. You might see.

[Bald Brian]

I think it's a little, it's less.

[Adam Carolla]

It'S gotta be less, a little less. But I think, I think, I bet the gay population and the vegetarian population would line up, I don't know. Here in California, I don't shut up about it. I don't know about Montana, but the point is, I'm just saying if there's 44 people working this set, no cameraman or no gaffers, no one ever doing any work is ever vegetarian. That's number one.

[Bald Brian]

I feel like you're minimizing.

[Adam Carolla]

I can't. I'm telling you, the fucking guys who do the lifting are never so. Those guys are always hungry and they want some fucking beef. I'm, I'm saying there's probably one or two on the set, which does not necessitate a veggie platter. It's just, go get two sandwiches for the crazy bitches in the trailer. That's all.

[Allison Rosen]

Salad, that there's no one around. Corolla digital that has very specified food and food needs.

[Adam Carolla]

We thin them out. There are a few, they're gone now. All right. Also, but wouldn't this be a utopia if all the vegetarians. I know it's not gonna take. I know it's not going to take care of the vegans. Vegans. You fucking brown bag it, you douchebags. You're on your own.

[Bald Brian]

Super specific.

[Adam Carolla]

You got to put your lunch in a douchebag. Yeah. You're responsible for your own shit. You're kosher or you're vegan. That's your own shit. But we just replace all vegetarian with egg salad, and we're now living in Utopia because now I finish off my turkey club and I'm moving on to egg salad.

[Bald Brian]

Can I convince you to. In addition. Yes. The egg salad, number one.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Bald Brian]

In addition, how about the caprese sandwich? The basil, the tomato, the olive oil, and the mozzarella.

[Adam Carolla]

That's a pretty soon.

[Allison Rosen]

For a vegetarian option.

[Adam Carolla]

It's a vegetarian option. Yes.

[Allison Rosen]

Gigantic herb.

[Adam Carolla]

But I still would rather have.

[Bald Brian]

I agree.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay. And what I end up. What ends up happening with the caprese sandwich, which we had on the last Catch a contractor shoot, is people end up picking off the tomato and the mozzarella.

[Allison Rosen]

No, they don't want to carve.

[Adam Carolla]

They're all carved up, and they end up just eating it like it's a compressive plate. Like you'd get an Italian restaurant.

[Allison Rosen]

Have you seen people order bagels scooped?

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, I heard about order. I've seen. I've seen it.

[Allison Rosen]

Yes, I bought. Yeah, exactly. I've heard about it. I've never actually seen it.

[Bald Brian]

We should.

[Adam Carolla]

We should fucking. We could feed Africa with the shit we pull out of the stuff we're.

[Bald Brian]

Eating with the dabbing of bagel innards. Send those napkins.

[Adam Carolla]

Somebody has to go to, like, Biafra and explain to them. You don't understand. Not only are we done with food, we take our food apart.

[Bald Brian]

Yes. I just referenced dabbing the pizza, and I just realized we may have to explain to the rest of the country and world what that is. I feel like that might be an LA thing.

[Allison Rosen]

Do you think they don't do that?

[Bald Brian]

I don't. What do you think? Do you think it happens elsewhere? The dabbing of the people will dab pizza to remove excess grease and then eat it. But the grease is the best. You never seen this?

[Adam Carolla]

I. You know what? I've seen it. I block it out of my mind.

[Bald Brian]

I have pizza, and I think it's an LA thing.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. It's like I think I've walked in on my dad and my mom having sex, but I Block it out, you know, I just don't want to. I don't want to go there. All right, let's take a quick break. Clint Howard is waiting. We'll bring him in next. Hey, everybody, I'm Lynette Carolla.

[Allison Rosen]

And I'm Stephanie Wilder Taylor.

[Brian Bishop]

And you should check out our latest podcast, For Crying Out Loud, where we.

[Adam Carolla]

Talk all about parenting and our husbands and all kinds of fun stuff. Wait, we have a podcast?

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, we just recorded it.

[Adam Carolla]

We did. I thought I was just.

[Brian Bishop]

I thought I was just complaining about.

[Adam Carolla]

Adam and we were recording. Yeah. Anyway, go to our website, cryingoutloudshow.com and.

[Brian Bishop]

Download or go to itunes and subscribe.

[Gina Grad]

Check out an all new episode of For Crying Out Loud this Friday or go to cryingoutloudshow.com only from Corolla Digital. Help the ace man defeat the patent trolls once and for all. Do all of your shopping back to school and otherwise hit Amazon and make.

[Adam Carolla]

Sure you Click [e-mail] Clint Howard in studio. I've been following Clint, I think his entire career. Hey, there's Greg, looking pretty groovy with the white belt on. Clint, good to see you, my friend.

[Clint Howard]

Did you ever own a white belt?

[Adam Carolla]

No, I was not. It was all tough skins and T shirts for me. We shopped at JCPenney's.

[Clint Howard]

I got a couple of white belts for Christmas.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, you guys probably. The Howards were. Probably. Now, I may be a little better off than the Corollas. I watched your story on, I don't know, Biography or something like that.

[Clint Howard]

I never made Biography. But that was Ron.

[Adam Carolla]

It was Ron. You were tagging along.

[Clint Howard]

Exactly.

[Adam Carolla]

But your dad was an actor, right? Did westerns and things like that. You guys are Valley guys, right?

[Clint Howard]

Yeah, I was born and raised in Burbank, California.

[Adam Carolla]

So you remember the Valley back when there wasn't much going on in the Valley?

[Clint Howard]

I remember when there were stoners and beaners and jocks and geeks.

[Adam Carolla]

It's funny, they had surfers and beaners and stoners and you had to be like, part of a group or bikers. They get to be a biker or stoner or beaner or surfer or whatever.

[Allison Rosen]

Just like this club.

[Clint Howard]

Yeah, and the geeks. There was always geeks.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, but they didn't. They weren't known as geeks, were they? Well, no, they were known as geeks, but not nerds. I'm trying to think of which one came first.

[Bald Brian]

I don't know. Dork.

[Clint Howard]

A couple of them are my attorneys now.

[Adam Carolla]

So you and the Family grow up in the San Fernando Valley, right?

[Clint Howard]

Yeah. You know, mom and dad. Dad is still alive. Rance Howard, vibrant working actor. In fact, he just worked on Bones just yesterday actually, or day before yesterday. So a mom passed away a few years ago. They, they thought it was really vital that when they moved to California that they assimilated in a small community and Burbank represented that to him.

[Adam Carolla]

And you guys started acting. I mean, you did, you were doing Gentle Ben when you were six years old.

[Clint Howard]

I mean, I started acting professionally when I was 2.

[Adam Carolla]

You took a couple years off at the beginning and then you got into acting. Yeah, not a late start, but I'd like. So you got started at 2 and what year was like Gentle Ben for you?

[Clint Howard]

Gentle Ben started in about 1966.

[Adam Carolla]

So you would have been seven.

[Clint Howard]

Seven now, I had already been on lots of television shows. I had already really become an experienced little actor by the time I did Gentle Ben.

[Adam Carolla]

And when did Ron begin acting?

[Clint Howard]

He started acting when he was about 3. He did a movie called the Journey with Yul Brenner and Deborah Carr, and it was cast out of New York and it was an absolute coincidence that Ron even got considered for the role.

[Adam Carolla]

So you guys, your dad was an actor. Dad did westerns and things like that. And your mom did. What was she a homemaker? Was she an actress? What'd she do?

[Clint Howard]

Well, mom had dreams of being an actress and in fact they, they met at the University of Oklahoma. Dennis Weaver actually put my mom and dad together in a scene study Cloud. Yes. Duel.

[Adam Carolla]

A duel. Chester Cloud. Chester, yeah.

[Clint Howard]

And then they met later in New York. Mom was chasing the dream. Dad was chasing the dream. And then when they got together and decided to get married and have a family, mom retired. Mom retired and became a homemaker.

[Adam Carolla]

And so you and your brother went straight through. I mean, you guys pretty much worked. I mean, I know Ron, you know, at some point made the move to directing, but did he have any lean years? I mean, did you. You guys have pretty much just worked from age like 2 or 3, just straight on through, right?

[Clint Howard]

Well, no, we had lean years.

[Adam Carolla]

Really? When?

[Clint Howard]

Well, you know those late teenage years when they could start hiring 18 year olds to play a 16 year old?

[Adam Carolla]

Uh huh.

[Clint Howard]

There is that period.

[Adam Carolla]

So when you're actually 16 and they can get an 18 year old that's an adult to play so they don't need the tutor and that kind of stuff on set and they can have sex with them too.

[Clint Howard]

That's when I never had sex with a welfare Worker.

[Adam Carolla]

You don't know what you're missing, man. Some of the hottest. Those dudes are some of the tightest. I mean, wow. Adam.

[Clint Howard]

Hey, ho, ho, Adam.

[Adam Carolla]

What I'm saying is, so. Yeah, all right, so you have a lean 18 months from age 16 and a half to 18. But then the dark days when it was. Was Ron always sort of directing or like directing you or leaning toward that.

[Clint Howard]

Ron had a dream when he was about 14 years old and he did not want to be an actor, that he started pursuing the behind the scenes activities. And he had a wonderful break. Ron had a chance to work on a pretty bad television show called the Smith Family with Henry Fonda. And Henry was the first adult outside of my dad who really encouraged Ron to be a director. Well, son, if you want to be a director, here's a book, you know, here's what you do. And Hank told stories to Ron about John Ford and just the various adventures of making movies. And that really, really made it romantic for Ron to pursue this dream. And he's never really enjoyed acting.

[Adam Carolla]

He did it out of just almost feeling like he wanted to please your dad and your mom or maybe like it was the family business or. Well, no, he did it.

[Clint Howard]

Listen, acting is fun. However, if you get stuck in the wrong situation, it can cease being fun.

[Adam Carolla]

Mm.

[Clint Howard]

You know, I have a feeling he was probably growing tired of being, you know, Richie Cunningham. Yeah. I didn't say it. You did.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Clint Howard]

You know, and. And Ron had his sights set on other things. Ron liked to direct. He was directing me when I was seven years old in Little Super 8 short films. Yeah, that's what we would do on the weekends.

[Adam Carolla]

And how's your relationship?

[Clint Howard]

I love him dearly and he's a good dude.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it's good because I've always felt that way, but it always seems like, oh, I don't know. We've talked to many brothers and brother, sister and things like that. I don't know. Eric Roberts and Julia Roberts probably don't hang out that much. There's a lot. Maybe you could say something about the bald ones. I mean, it just seems like it just happens. It's almost like bands from the 80s or something. Like they all hate each other. Like they just have. They're comedy duos, you know, they just have to hate each other.

[Bald Brian]

Separate dressing rooms, lawyer up.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, but. But you guys have always, always just been thick as thieves.

[Clint Howard]

And I'll tell you how it happened. Ron and I are five years apart, and we used to fight just like any other Brothers would fight, baseball cards, toys, you name it. I was picking on him. I was insistent, incessantly picking on him. And Ron would tangle and he would always be. He wouldn't kick my ass. He would always be the gentle older brother. And finally we would be tangling and dad would pull us apart. And it's not exactly what he said, it was the way he said it. And he said, you know, boys, when you grow up, you're gonna want to be friends, so why don't you just knock it off? By his words, it made a lot of sense to us. And he is always, I'll tell you, and I've said this before, Adam, he is a hall of fame film director. He is a better big brother.

[Adam Carolla]

Really?

[Clint Howard]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow.

[Bald Brian]

First ballot hall of Famer.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow.

[Clint Howard]

He's Carl Yastremsky.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Bald Brian]

I would have gone with Ted Williams, but that's pretty good. Still.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Unbelievable.

[Clint Howard]

Ted was a freak. I don't think Ron's gonna get cryogenically.

[Bald Brian]

Frozen his head somewhere, by the way.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, a Clint Howard movie that Clint Howard appeared in, that's a little bit of a sleeper for a lot of people. Night Shift. That's it.

[Bald Brian]

Was that Ron's first directing movie?

[Clint Howard]

No, it was his first studio movie.

[Bald Brian]

Okay. So as far as breakout, he did.

[Adam Carolla]

He did sleeper comedy does. It's not on everyone's top 10 list, but it should be Keaton.

[Clint Howard]

Keaton was absolutely unbelievable. Shelly Long was funny.

[Adam Carolla]

Everyone was great in that. But you were great. But Keaton really just broke out.

[Clint Howard]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

In that movie. But it was. It was great to see and really seeing that side of Henry Winkler either. We remembered, you know, a lot of Fon sort of stuff. And then he played a complete against type character and it was just funny. It's a funny movie. Doesn't. It doesn't show up on cable that often. You gotta just go, you know, grab the Blu Ray or whatever and check it out. But funny, nice heart. Sort of just. Just a really nice comedy.

[Bald Brian]

Clint, a question for you. You're famous, obviously, for appearing in many of Ron's movies. Probably most. Which ones have you not appeared in? And does that ever come up at Christmas?

[Clint Howard]

Oh, shit. I could give you that list in a heartbeat. I wasn't in the Da Vinci Code that made a boatload of money. I wish I would have had the residuals on that one.

[Adam Carolla]

Sure.

[Clint Howard]

I wasn't in Ransom. I wasn't in Angels and Demons and these last couple that he's made over in Europe, Rush. And now he's got one that's on the Runway called in the Heart of the Sea. We've had conversations about it, and it's just, you know, he's the chief, and I'm an Indian, and he is not going to exploit his position to hire me. And, in fact, it's very difficult to hire Americans to go over there and work and not take the European tax breaks. He couldn't even get a waiver to hire his father.

[Adam Carolla]

Really?

[Clint Howard]

In the heart of the sea.

[Adam Carolla]

It is insane. I've run into this a few times myself with family members. My sister does hair, and we were doing a sitcom for, like, cbs. She's like, well, just tell them I want to do the hair. And I was like, all right, I'll go talk to him. And they're like, is she in the union? I'm like, no, I don't think so. Well, she can't do your hair. And then I go talk to her, and I go, are you in the union? And my sister goes, no. And I go, well, then you can't do my hair. And they go, you're the boss. It's your sitcom. Your name's on it. Just go tell him. And it's like, it's not that easy. Like, people don't understand. They. Your brother, just go tell him you want Clint in the movie and dad in the movie and get the voucher. He's the boss man. But it's like, there's a bunch of money guys. There's a bunch of rules. There's a bunch of unions, and no one's really the boss.

[Clint Howard]

And you probably had a responsibility to your employers.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Clint Howard]

Well, you know that you yourself were trying to maintain some decorum and wanted to do things the right way, and that's not really right. Jamming relatives down their throats.

[Adam Carolla]

No, I agree. And the sad part of it is that the person thinks, well, if you just stick your neck out a little bit, like, literally, you know, go, well, come on, now. It is my. It was Dion. It was the Dan Kirschner. Yeah. The woman I was talking to about you getting the brain tumor. When I was crying in her office with the teamster, when I thought you were gonna die in the next six weeks.

[Bald Brian]

It's a real highlight of the book.

[Adam Carolla]

It's a bizarre story, but it was her I was telling, and she was going, if she's not in the union, then there's really nothing we can do about it. I wish we could. And then when I tell my sister, she kind of gives me the. Yeah, but that's the Tough part, but it's like. There is no but. It's just like I don't make the rules.

[Clint Howard]

I don't want to turn Dr. Phil on you here, but. Are you close to her?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, but, I mean, we get along. I. You know, she's in Burbank.

[Clint Howard]

I just know.

[Adam Carolla]

But she's not pissed off. I just. I've had this happen a number of times with people where they think you can just make a decree because it's your show or you're the star of the show and, you know, unions be damned or whatever. Be damned. And I try to explain to him it's not really just about. It's not like I want a fruit platter in my dressing room.

[Clint Howard]

Yeah, no. Well, listen, I think the advantage I have is I have a lot of experience in this business, and I understand.

[Adam Carolla]

You understand. That's right. So you understand that Ron wants to put you in. I mean, you trust that he will try to find a place for you in just about any project he does. But if there is no place for you, you also understand that.

[Clint Howard]

Exactly. He's the chief. I'll tell you one quick story.

[Adam Carolla]

Can we have Ron call my sister real quick?

[Clint Howard]

Working on Backdraft. Ron hired me. Now, my scene was with Robert De Niro, and I was a relatively young buck, and I had worked a little bit for. At that time, Ron had partnered up with a guy named Brian Grazer, and they were longtime partners.

[Adam Carolla]

Crazy hair.

[Clint Howard]

Yeah, the vertical.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Had a meeting with him once.

[Clint Howard]

Yeah, vertical hair.

[Adam Carolla]

Crazy.

[Clint Howard]

Yeah. But anyway, so Ron booked me, and Brian said, you know, that's kind of an important part. Ron, don't you think we maybe should have had him audition? And Ron goes, no, I trust my brother. I think he's going to be just fine in this part. So Brian was hesitant, but he went along. And then when Brian saw dailies, Brian went. And Ron called me. He was so proud. Brian said to Ron, you know, Ron, your brother never has to audition again.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow, that's really nice because, well, I.

[Clint Howard]

Kicked ass with De Niro. Him and I got along great. I mean, I could tell it was grooving, but, you know.

[Adam Carolla]

But a lot of times when guys are in a position of power and they go, hmm, this probably not going to work out. And then they go see the dailies. They just walk out and go, I told you.

[Bald Brian]

Very hesitant to change the opinion.

[Adam Carolla]

They rarely go, well, I guess I was wrong about whatever concern I voiced a month earlier. A lot of guys do that. It's nice that Grazer doesn't, or he has at least enough respect for you and your brother.

[Phil Robertson]

Well, they.

[Clint Howard]

They haven't hired me to sex down any of their leading ladies.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, the day is young.

[Allison Rosen]

I mean, at least you don't have to audition if it comes up. Now, you were saying that one of your favorite scenes, you were in Washington with our friend Larry Miller.

[Adam Carolla]

Ah, yes, yes.

[Clint Howard]

Whenever I. Whenever I have a moment in my life where I'm feeling a little down, maybe questioning my talent or questioning, is it worth it?

[Adam Carolla]

Please break in a song. Clint.

[Clint Howard]

I worked on a silly little movie called Senior Skip Day and had an improv scene with Larry Miller. And we had met and hung out a little bit, and it seemed like he was going to be a likable guy. And. And they waited and waited and waited. And we shot it at the end the day, like three setups. Bam, bam, bam. Sun's going down. And we completely improvised it. And we absolutely killed.

[Adam Carolla]

He is the definition of the word mensch, yes. Larry Miller. And, well, he was giving.

[Clint Howard]

I mean, we were working so fast. It was like there was no. He didn't dig his heels in when I came up with it. Improvisation. He went with it. When he came up with stuff, I went with it. It was just, you know, maybe if we had had three or four hours, we could have started arguing. But as it turned out, it was beautiful.

[Adam Carolla]

You've seen, God, you must have seen everyone just sort of come and go. Some go and some stay and. But who, who, who did you think was super promising? And it just never really worked out for him. Like, is there somebody you can think of where you went like, wow, this, this guy is going to be the next, you know, De Niro, as we talked about earlier, something like that, it just didn't pan out for him or someone. You were wrong about where you went. Like, well, this guy's no good. And it turned out it was Brad Pitt or. I mean, because you must have worked with everybody and seen everybody in the last. I mean, well, you've been acting for, well, whatever Your age is.

[Clint Howard]

53 years I've been acting.

[Adam Carolla]

2 years.

[Clint Howard]

53 years I've been acting. Yeah, you know, and I'm gonna brain lock on the gentleman's name. There was a young actor who worked on Night Shift who was really funny. And I.

[Adam Carolla]

And we'll get to. We'll IMDb it, figure it out.

[Clint Howard]

I kind of. He had the famous line where it was, oh, Barney Rubble, what an actor.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Clint Howard]

It was a no brainer that he was gonna go ahead and have a good career. And I don't know what happened. He didn't show up.

[Adam Carolla]

At that point, you thought, you know, him and Keaton were gonna go on together and just conquer Hollywood.

[Clint Howard]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

I mean, not together, but you know what I mean.

[Clint Howard]

Yes. Side by side.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Clint Howard]

And I worked on a movie called the Wraith with Charlie Sheen and Nick Cassavetes and Sherilyn Fenn. And there were, there were a couple of character actors, Jamie Bozian and Dave Sherrill, who I thought really were great. And they were, they were multi purpose character actors. And I thought for sure that they were going to be able to have a very nice life in this town as character actors. And they both live out of state.

[Bald Brian]

That actor was Bobby Di Chico.

[Clint Howard]

Bobby.

[Bald Brian]

Cicc.

[Adam Carolla]

Bobby DiCicco.

[Clint Howard]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

What else? Anything? No.

[Bald Brian]

I mean, he was in Splash, he was in the Philadelphia experiment, but he hasn't acted, apparently doesn't have a credit on IMDb since 1996.

[Adam Carolla]

Should we do a little news? Alison Rosen and Clint, you hang out and crack wise and I'll first give a little love to one of our fine sponsors, Blue Apron. Oh, love. These guys take the stress out of cooking $9.99ameal. Well under 10 bucks a meal. They send you the ingredients, you get the right proportions that come straight to your door, step by step. Instructions, idiot proof instructions, pictures so you don't screw it up. Cooking takes a half an hour and the shipping is free. So they got oven fried chicken with corn and bean salad. Oh, I love the corn and bean salad. Shrimp, summer rolls, chilled sesame noodle salad and more. And again, this is if you like cooking and you got a budget, you're on a budget. Stuff comes straight to you and it comes in the right amounts and the right proportions. You save yourself a trip to the supermarket. Go to blueapron.com Adam. You get two free meals. That's blueapron.com Adam. For two free meals, just go to blueapron.com all right, let's do a little news. Allison Rosen.

[Gina Grad]

The news with Allison Rosen.

[Adam Carolla]

She'll read some news from her iPad.

[Bald Brian]

Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad.

[I]

It's Allison.

[Adam Carolla]

Allison. And when it's time to wrap it.

[Bald Brian]

Up, she'll sign it off with zip.

[Adam Carolla]

It's Allison. Allison.

[Allison Rosen]

James Garner, star of Maverick and Rockford Files, died. He was 86. Cause of death has not come out yet, but he was found in his home in the Brentwood area of la.

[Adam Carolla]

You must have worked there. Your dad probably knew him. Worked with him. He's probably contemporary of your dad.

[Clint Howard]

He was very much a contemporary of dad's. And no, but I have never. I never actually worked with Jim.

[Adam Carolla]

He is hall of famer. Hall of famer, hall of famer. Yeah.

[Clint Howard]

All those Doris Day movies and then he got on television. He was one of those early pioneers of. Of movie stars that got right into television and made a boatload of money.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah. Just had that great. Just start. He was just as masculine. You know what he was. You know, now it's like when you see guys like Dwayne Johnson, they're masculine except for they're trying too hard. You know, they're hairless, they're tanned, there's veins sticking out of every part of them. Their eyebrows are all plucked up, they got a spray tan going. And they're kind of masculine. But it's sort of a version of what a 13 year old male who was struggling with his sexuality. It's their version of masculinity. Guys like James Garner were just dudes. They were just masculine, just straight on down. An idea that you would pluck or primp or spray tan or anything that flew in the face of all that was masculine. For them. It wasn't about protein shakes. It was about whiskey and riding horses and banging broads. God bless him, all the good stuff. He's gonna be missed.

[Clint Howard]

Rest in peace.

[Adam Carolla]

Rest in peace.

[Allison Rosen]

We had a big debate on my show recently about manscaping, about whether. Cause some people feel that. Some people in that booth over there feel that men should absolutely not groom their nether regions. Like not even at all. Where are you guys on that?

[Adam Carolla]

The whole thing about. Look, there's here.

[Clint Howard]

Are you talking about pubic hair?

[Allison Rosen]

Yes.

[Clint Howard]

Well, if it's hanging way, way, way out. Yeah. You take a pair of tweezers or you. Not tweezers. You take these pair of scissors.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, use the tweezers to move your dick and then, then come the scissors.

[Allison Rosen]

Well, how far out are we talking though? Like dangling past the bottom of your shorts or just.

[Clint Howard]

That would count. That would count.

[Adam Carolla]

Look, I'm gonna put a bow on this for everybody. Everyone just listen. This is gonna exactly how it should be. Men and women, there is a version of what we would like you to look like and a version of what you would like us to look like. And that version is as God created us, except for we have to do a lot of work to get us to the version that looks like we're not doing a lot of work. Everybody likes a buxom woman. But we don't like big fake titties. And everybody likes big fake a guy with a great build. But we don't want the steroid junkie. You know, there's that look of, oh, the guy's got a nice tan because he had his shirt off. And he was out working, you know, out working, doing construction. And then there's the. He's orange and it's sprayed on. So we don't want the artificial looking. So the thing, like whether it's your eyebrows, your teeth or your pubes, do it, but don't do it so we can tell it's been done. I mean, all plastic surgery's that way. If the chick has a great nose, she has a great nose. But she had a nose job. You go, huh? She had a nose job. Because it looks like a nose job. There's a nose that is too perfect that looks like a nose job. And thus we don't like it. Angelina Jolie is beautiful and her lips are beautiful. But if we thought, oh, those are all just injections and it should. That's not naturally that way. And we got a bunch of pictures of her from high school where she had real thin lips and now she got all the collagen in there.

[Allison Rosen]

She actually has had a lot of subtle work done. Like if you get a photo of her when she first was in the public, like, I don't know, late, late teens, early 20s to now, it's like very subtle, but had a little bit done.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, there's two kinds of work. There's maintenance work and then there's full blown add a second story. You know what I mean?

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah. I don't think she raised the situation and then rebuilt or anything.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm just saying she put a master suite on. I think, I think if you show up, if you show picture her at 22 wearing a huge belt, Gary Fighter.

[Clint Howard]

In a blue shirt, eating deviled eggs.

[Adam Carolla]

I think, yes, I think. And I don't know, but the lips are always big and full. I mean, I remember her from some of her earlier stuff and she's probably done stuff to maintain.

[Allison Rosen]

Oh, yeah, no, I'm. She. She looks every bit as beautiful then. I'm just saying, I think that she's had a series of tiny. Like, I think her nose is different now. See, that's her. We're looking at the old hero, but okay. Beautiful still.

[Clint Howard]

But wait, wait, wait, hold on a second. We all age.

[Adam Carolla]

No, no, we're talking. Listen, Allison, here's the deal. Huge lips at age 17. And if I saw pictures of her and she had no lips at 17. And I thought those were all just puffed up for me. Then it takes something away from it, you know, that's how we do it. We do these sort of God given kind of thing. We do. You know what? We do the same thing with money. If we think somebody earned their million dollars, we look at them one way. If we think daddy gave them a million dollars, we look at them another way. And it's weird because it's still just a guy with a million dollars. Why do we look at them so differently? But if it's earned or God given, we respond to it one way. And if it looks like they bought it, then we respond another way. So as far as your pubes or your nose, your lips or anything goes, you should have them subtly done just enough, but not so that we notice it's been done. Thank you. All right, where were we?

[Clint Howard]

Have you ever had nose plugs?

[Adam Carolla]

Nose plugs?

[Clint Howard]

For a movie.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, where they're doing like a plast or something on your face?

[Clint Howard]

No, no nose hair. I did a movie one time, a comedy. I don't think it was very funny, but they actually had little hair pieces that they jammed up my nostrils to make me look like I had nose hair.

[Adam Carolla]

Really?

[Clint Howard]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Why?

[Clint Howard]

Well, it was supposed to be a joke. Hey, I wasn't the chief. I was just an Indian.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Was Ron the chief? That wasn't Iran.

[Clint Howard]

No.

[Adam Carolla]

Give me your top five Ron Howard movies.

[Clint Howard]

Well, Apollo 13.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Clint Howard]

Was really, really good.

[Adam Carolla]

I thought so.

[Bald Brian]

Perfect movie.

[Clint Howard]

So was Frost. Nixon. I thought he treated that very well. I thought Parenthood was really brilliant.

[Adam Carolla]

I love Parenthood.

[Bald Brian]

So underrated.

[Adam Carolla]

Always cite. That movie is a perfect example of sort of salt and sugar. You know, lots of, lots of comedy, but lots of real life. I mean, that. That situation with the son and the husband that divorced the family, moved on and is dating someone else. And that young Phoenix, Joaquin Phoenix, like, struggling and that's just such a great.

[Bald Brian]

The movie makes me laugh and cry.

[Clint Howard]

You know, And Ron has talked about this a lot. Written by Lo Ganz and Babalu Mandel.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Clint Howard]

And they, you know, Brian had a bunch of kids, Ron had a bunch of kids, everybody. I mean, it all came from true life experience.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Clint Howard]

They did not have to rewrite one day on the set. They would come to work and shoot the material, which is something that is unheard of in the business. You're always looking at a scene and trying to improve it. Looking at a scene and saying, well, wait, that motivation doesn't quite work or we got to cut this because this isn't right. And yet on that particular movie, it was like every day they went to work and went, geez, if we just get this on paper, if we just get this, it's gonna be good.

[Adam Carolla]

Yep. And Keanu Reeves with the role. He was born. The. Born to play that role.

[Bald Brian]

Established the Keanu type in that.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Bald Brian]

You know who was great in that movie?

[Clint Howard]

Tom Hulse.

[Bald Brian]

Clint Howard.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Bald Brian]

As the a hole little league dad.

[Clint Howard]

He's got no business.

[I]

He's got no business.

[Bald Brian]

No business. Just screaming over and over again, no business. And then when he finally does make the catch, Dee Barnes, like, rub it in your face.

[Adam Carolla]

That was great about him. Being on the bell tower. Shooting at all the students is great. Nice shot, son.

[Clint Howard]

Listen, Ron is an incredibly consistent director and he's, you know, I've learned a lot from him.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Clint Howard]

As I. As I approach a period of my life where I'm making a decision whether I'm going to really try to do it, direct a movie or not, I certainly know. Wow, what a wonderful advantage I have. First of all, all the experience that he has shared with me, and also one phone call away from saying, hey, bud, how do you get out of this problem?

[Gina Grad]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. All right, so we clipped you at like a three. Do you have a fourth and a fifth that you like?

[Clint Howard]

You clipped me at three.

[Bald Brian]

You had Frost, Nixon, Apollo 13, and Parenthood. Three great choices.

[Clint Howard]

Yeah. Well, listen, Rush was really good.

[Adam Carolla]

Yep.

[Clint Howard]

I felt like Rush was a pretty honest movie.

[Adam Carolla]

I loved it.

[Clint Howard]

Boy, I could name them all. Yeah, I could name them all. But, you know, the paper actually is one of Ron's favorites.

[Bald Brian]

Deep cut.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow.

[Clint Howard]

Yeah. He actually, if he. He will put the paper on a list of three of his favorite movies.

[Adam Carolla]

What do you think his three are.

[Clint Howard]

Probably Beautiful Mind and Apollo 13 and probably the paper.

[Adam Carolla]

What's the one that's coming up? It's called you're not in.

[Clint Howard]

It's. It's called in the heart of the Sea. Yeah, it's. It's based on. Herman Melville wrote Moby Dick that was apparently based on a true story. So this is a whaling ship, the Essex, who actually, the whaling ship got sunk by sperm whale.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow.

[Clint Howard]

And there was a cabin boy that lived to tell the story. Of course, the whaling merchants, the whaling magnets, did not want the story out that a whale had destroyed one of their ships. So for a long time, it got covered up. Herman Melville finally wrote this book fiction, Moby Dick. And so that's what the movie's about.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm into it already. I love something like Master and Commander is one of my favorite movies the last 10 years. I just love that at sea stuff. Almost anything at sea, I'm just into it.

[Clint Howard]

There's cannibalism in this movie and there's shipmates, shipwrecked mates getting awfully skinny. The third act doesn't really ring like a very.

[Adam Carolla]

You don't really want seen it already.

[Clint Howard]

Yes. You don't want to hear the Rocky music when you're watching people starve to death and eat each other.

[Adam Carolla]

When's it coming out? I'm not sure, but you saw.

[Clint Howard]

I saw a rough cut of it.

[Adam Carolla]

Friends and Family.

[Clint Howard]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And no, it. It works really good. Chris Hemsworth is in it. A lot of good acting. Ron was very proud of the fact that he did it under budget, under schedule. It's. In fact, I think they're going back and doing some additional photography this week, and then they're basically going to lock it and get it ready. It probably won't be ready for Christmas, probably next spring.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I look forward to it. All right, let's do one more quick question.

[Allison Rosen]

When a movie comes in under budget, what happens to the extra money?

[Adam Carolla]

I've never. I've done two and none of them have. Neither one has come in. I mean, the two I made, I don't know. They get. They get a bonus.

[Clint Howard]

No, it goes back to the investors.

[Adam Carolla]

They just. You know what? Ultimately, I think I want to speak for Clint here, but I think it helps you with the next project because when you go to the people and rattle the can again and go, hey, we'd like several million dollars to make a movie. If they lost money last time they gave you money. It's much like the relationship you might have with a sibling. If you lend them 100 bucks and they pay you back 110 bucks a month later, you're much more apt to lend them money again versus not getting your money back.

[Clint Howard]

Woody Allen has always been known as a guy that if you give him money, he'll make the movie for that price and for that budget. And Clint Eastwood is the same way that. That. That's, you know, and Michael Cimino, unfortunately for him, didn't quite work out that way. Heaven's Gate, you know, was the disaster of all disasters. And it now, more than ever, the corporations, the big entities that are funding movies, pay attention to the bottom line.

[Adam Carolla]

What do you think the budget is for the latest film?

[Clint Howard]

Neighborhood I'm. I'm only guessing. $100 million. I'm only guessing. I don't know. He doesn't tell me. I don't ask him. I know that, you know, in general, the way movies get financed are different. And, you know, a director can't quite get the same amount of money up front that he could before.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Clint Howard]

Movie stars can't quite get the same amount of money. They found creative ways that they can recoup their money.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Clint Howard]

But you know, listen, like, you're sitting in an industry that didn't exist a few years ago. The entertainment business is just changing literally by the day.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I know, it's insane. Now. I'm just finishing a movie that's sort of exploring the fact that all the comedians had holding deals and development deals, and literally there were holding deals. I know guys that all they did was if you wrote on the Simpsons and you wrote on Seinfeld, you would just get a deal every year. You just had an office and you get a deal and it's like a million dollar deal. And like they go into their office sometimes and sometimes they wouldn't.

[Clint Howard]

They wouldn't even have an office sometimes. Sometimes they just have a box that their check would show up in.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, they'd have an office, but they wouldn't even go into it. They'd just give them a little place on the lot. And it's like, I would say to these guys, I wouldn't say to their face, but like, say to their friends, like, it's been four years. The guy hasn't gotten anything on the TV yet. Yeah, he just got another deal. It's like, why, why is he getting deals? He doesn't. Nothing comes out the other end. And somebody figured it out and went, you know what, it's over. It's all YouTube and it's all clip shows and it's all Honey Boo Boo. And no more million dollars to the guy just because he was wrote on, you know, Seinfeld or wrote. You know, if you, if you did something like, oh, I worked with on the Simpsons and I worked on Letterman, boom, you just got a deal. Like, you just say you worked. I don't even know if you had to.

[Clint Howard]

Potentially, if you developed a series for one of the networks, I mean, they're guaranteeing you a half a million dollars whether you end up doing anything for them or not. They just, it's like they were buying talent. It was like they were buying first round draft choices.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah, they're like I said, a holding deal was Just like, hey, don't go to work for the other guys. Don't play on the other team. You don't have to play for our team. Just don't beat us when we play you.

[Clint Howard]

So you did a documentary about that. Are you doing a movie?

[Adam Carolla]

No, I'm doing a movie basically about it.

[Clint Howard]

Are they gonna be a bunch of bitter characters?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Good.

[Clint Howard]

There could be a part for me.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, it's already in the can. Sorry.

[Clint Howard]

Oh, I'm sorry.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, but you'll the the third one, the sequel, the next one. All right, let's bring it home, baby.

[Allison Rosen]

That's the news. I'm Allison Rosen. Zipit, cunt.

[Gina Grad]

That was the news with Allison Rosen.

[Adam Carolla]

Ah. DraftKings, baby. Football season just around the corner. Get your piece of $5 million during the kickoff [e-mail] Love football. Love DraftKings. Brian, how you feeling, buddy?

[Bald Brian]

Great. I mean, baseball season is fun for fantasy, and it's a good way to pass the time, but football is really why fantasy?

[Adam Carolla]

Well, it's America's pastime, but this is the fantasy time.

[Bald Brian]

That's why you play fantasy sports.

[Adam Carolla]

Last year, a guy turned 11 bucks into 4 grand. By the way, that was just one weekend. Another guy won a million bucks in one day. DraftKings, baby. Fantasy Football way more exciting at DraftKings.com is where you go for huge cash starting the first week of the season.

[Gina Grad]

Dawson DraftKings.com Bigger events, bigger winnings, bigger millionaires. Use promo code Adam, and you'll get free entry into the week. One $5 million kickoff bash. Enter Adam for free entry now at DraftKings.com DraftKings.com well, God bless Clint Howard.

[Adam Carolla]

He didn't have anything to plug. He just wanted to come in and say hi. I love that about Alison Rosen, your new best friend. New episodes available now on itunes and every Monday and Thursday as well. Allisonrosen.com live shows. Burbank doing one at Flappers Las Vegas. Coming up, Treasure Island, August 29, Ventura, Crowne Plaza. So come on out and say hi, everybody. And until next time, by the way, if you want your book signed, send in the jacket. I got not Taco Bell material here. I got 3,000 of them. Give you a break on those. We're trying to get rid of them. So until next time, Adam Kroll for Clint Howard. Allison Rosen and ball Brian saying mahalo. Barney Rubble.

[Bald Brian]

What an actor.

[Giovanni]

All right, this is Adam Kroll show 1373. Coming up next, we have a listener request. This one comes from Ryan N. Hey, Geo, just heard about Phil Robertson from Duck Dynasty passing away. Do you think you could play one of his appearances in the Pawn and Cruella classics? He only has one appearance, Ryan. And we'll play it right now. It's adam Perla Show 3031 featuring the late Phil Robertson, Gina grad, Brian bishop. This one's 2021.

[Brian Bishop]

And now a totally innocuous word that sounds dirty when Mike Dawson says it.

[Gina Grad]

Moist.

[Brian Bishop]

Ew. That was a totally innocuous word until Mike Dawson said it. Let's get back to the Adam Carolla show.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, that's good, Dawson. You have others that you're thinking about?

[Gina Grad]

Oh, sure, it's a one off.

[Adam Carolla]

I look forward to it.

[Brian Bishop]

Back in the vault. It's going back in the vault.

[Adam Carolla]

No, no, no. I can see there's some legs here. All right, so we were talking about songs that not couldn't be made today, just wouldn't be made today. The super quaint be true to your school. A song about being true to high school. It's got his girl. It's got his letterman sweater. Although you should have a letterman jacket. Letterman sweaters, not as much.

[Bald Brian]

Dude. That was a big controversy at my school in 1995 when they're like, all right, we're going to start making letterman jackets for academics. And the athletes were fucking furious. Like, no, no, we can't. No, those are. You earned that block. S for Searle High School for playing sports, not for fucking academics. That was a big controvers.

[Adam Carolla]

Did they do it?

[Bald Brian]

They did it.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow.

[Bald Brian]

They put a little pencil on it. As if you weren't a nerd enough. 120 pound guy walking into the letterman jacket. He had a little pencil on it. I had the pencil.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, who wants to go first here either?

[Brian Bishop]

I'll go. So I have one and a half entries now. I didn't know that this was. We were doing the. The quaint category. I thought it was just songs that just couldn't.

[Adam Carolla]

No, it's just songs that couldn't be made. Doesn't it?

[Brian Bishop]

Okay, well here's, here's a 10 second. This is my half of my one and a half choices. This is from back when Brian was a teenager. I was, you know, I was getting born. And listen closely because when you hear this on the radio, there is a word taken out, but it was not taken out when it of course, was originally recorded. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

I hit the skins for the hell of it.

[I]

Just for the yell I get for.

[Bald Brian]

The smell of it.

[I]

It won't my bar here's the hot rod.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, wanna hit?

[Bald Brian]

No, sounding like a retard.

[Brian Bishop]

And she goes.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, wow.

[Brian Bishop]

So that was a huge hit. And that song was. Had lots of spins, as you know.

[Adam Carolla]

Did he say six, two, wanna hit you. But that was sex.

[Brian Bishop]

He wants to hit like. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

He wants to tap that ass.

[Brian Bishop]

That's right. But I'm glad you said that because that leads right into my actual pick. I'm sure you're familiar with the crystals. So listen to this.

[Adam Carolla]

He hit me.

[J]

And it felt like a kiss.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow. Oh, no.

[Brian Bishop]

We've got to listen to this song. The lyrics are insane.

[Bald Brian]

This ruined is generational young.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Hurt me.

[Brian Bishop]

The second verse will blow your mind.

[J]

He couldn't stand to hear me say that I'd been with someone new and when I told him I had been.

[Bald Brian]

Untrue what's gonna happen?

[Adam Carolla]

Wow.

[J]

He hit me.

[Brian Bishop]

Listen to the next verse.

[J]

And it felt like a K.

[Adam Carolla]

He.

[J]

Hit me up and I knew he loved me.

[Adam Carolla]

Knew he loved me. Yep.

[J]

If she didn't care for me I could have never made him mad but he hit me and I was glad.

[Adam Carolla]

He was glad. All right, hold on. Pause it for a second.

[Bald Brian]

I'm uncomfortable.

[Adam Carolla]

I would. I was just picturing the poor session musician who played the cello. Like the 61 year old white guy. Just like he's just sitting there, he's looking at sheet music. He hit me. What the fuck are we doing?

[Bald Brian]

Or is it goddamn ready?

[Adam Carolla]

Wow.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

I never. Now, wait. Did the Crystal sing Leader of the Pack or Bobby's Girl or something uptown to do?

[Brian Bishop]

Run, Run, He's a rebel.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, he's a rebel.

[Brian Bishop]

A companion song.

[Adam Carolla]

What was I. Oh, Leader of the Pack. Oh, Rebel. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I thought they. Wow. Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

The lyrics are crazy. And that's a love song.

[Bald Brian]

I remember a single.

[Brian Bishop]

Hit.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know if that was a big hit. Well, it didn't get spins on K Earth later on.

[Brian Bishop]

Are you sure?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I think they kind of.

[Brian Bishop]

Mobile.

[Adam Carolla]

We did not hear Shotgun Tom spinning that at noon on K Earth in the. In the 80s. But I don't know how big a hit was it. Well, it was obviously a hit. But he hit her. Wow.

[Brian Bishop]

That's how she knew he loved her and she was glad.

[Adam Carolla]

Did you know that song, Gina?

[Brian Bishop]

I had heard it on. Actually, the only time I've ever heard it referenced was Amy Winehouse referenced it. I believe she said it was one of her favorite songs and it always stuck with me. She said, oh, it's poetic. And girls today are like, you don't you know I don't need you and I don't whatever. But back in the day, it was. He hit me and it felt like a kiss. And it's so such a romantic notion. And that song always kind of got stuck in my head after that.

[Bald Brian]

Yeah. So I'm not seeing that it charted. Receives some airplay, but there was a lot of protest, so they rarely got played on the radio. Is written by.

[Adam Carolla]

Co.

[Bald Brian]

Written by Carole King. Yeah, Jerry Goffin and Carole King. And under the guidance of Phil Spector.

[Brian Bishop]

There you go.

[Bald Brian]

This is complicated.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow.

[Bald Brian]

So Goffin and King wrote the song after discovering that their babysitter and singer, Little Eva Boyd, was being regularly beaten by her boyfriend. Little Eva.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, my God.

[Bald Brian]

Well, Locomotion.

[Adam Carolla]

Locomotion. Yeah. That was Little Eva. All right, well, very, very good, Gina. Holy shit. That was awesome. That's crazy. All right, Brian, you got an offering.

[Bald Brian]

The bar has been set very high, but I think I might be able to at least see the bar. I picked the middle two minutes, this song, and had the same instructions as Gina. Just a song that couldn't be made today. And it popped in my head immediately. Charlie Daniels, great country music legend, re recorded one of his hits, Uneasy Rider, and named it uneasy rider 88. And it would have a hard time on country radio. Well made on country radio. But on the radio today, Dawson fired up at that point. Sorry, I should really set this up. I did a poor job of that. Charlie Daniels and his buddy in the song, for the first minute and a half, they're on a road trip. They're. They're tearing down the highway. And cop pulls him over, gives him a ticket, and he's like, yeah, slow down. It's one of those songs. And they decide, okay, we're gonna pull off the side of the road. We're gonna pull in this little town we don't even know and hit up a bar. We're feeling thirsty. We're gonna hit up a bar. And this is the story of what happens in said bar.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, hey, sorry. Pause it one sec. Dawson. Find me Vicki Lawrence. Night Lights Went out in Georgia song we've talked about before, but I was listening to it on Friday, driving back from the track, and there's a part I missed. So sorry.

[Bald Brian]

This is a wordy song, so enjoy.

[Adam Carolla]

We'll enjoy.

[I]

Walked through the door and the place was jammed, the lights were low. They had a punk rock band and some orange haired fellers singing about suicide. I said, jim, this ain't our kind of place. He said, well, let's just have one round anyway. So against my better judgment, we walked on inside, went up to the bar, we sat down. This feller walked up and said, I'll buy this round. And he sits down on a bar stool next to Geno.

[Bald Brian]

You know where this is going to shout girl.

[I]

But he talked like a guy had lipstick on and mascara in his eye. And everybody in that place looked just about like him. I said, Jim, this ain't our kind of bar. Let's just go on out and get back in the car cause it's going to be trouble. Ain't no sense in taking a chance. CB Savage we was getting up, getting ready to leave. Somebody grabbed old Jim by the sleeve of this good looking girl. She was asking my buddy to dance. I, I said, jim, don't do it. There's something missing. There's fellers dancing and fellers kissing. There's a feller in a high heeled shoes wearing pantyhose.

[Bald Brian]

My grandfather laughed his ass.

[I]

I just can't turn this down. You just go over there and have one more round. I'll dance with the lady and we'll get on down the road. So he walked away and left me alone. And this funny looking feller kept coming on. And he was making me mad at some of the things he said. And it he put his hand on my knee. I said, if you don't get your paw off me, I'm going to locate your nose around on the side of your head. He said, I love it when you get that fire in your eye. I said, well partner, try this on for size. And I unloaded on him. He went out like a light Sony Bucky bashing everybody in that place must have been his friend. They all headed for me. I said this is the end. But where I come from we don't give up without a fight.

[Bald Brian]

Here we go.

[I]

They were screaming and yelling and scratching and clawing. I was punching and hitting and kicking and pawing. I was holding my own cuz I been in a scrap or two.

[Adam Carolla]

They were clawing.

[I]

Oh Jim come running up out of the blue and that gal he was with come running up too and proceeded to beat on me with a high heeled shoe. I grabbed her by the hair, come off in my hand. And that beautiful girl was just a beautiful man. Old Jim just got sick right there on the floor. She dropped that, that dude like a shot from a gun. Smeared his lipstick, made his makeup run. And me and old Jim started fighting our way to the door. Man, we lit out of there in that Chevrolet and I put her on the floor and she stayed that way we was going down the highway doing.

[Bald Brian]

About 110 oh boy guesses we headed.

[I]

For home and we was getting nearer Then a red light come on in the rear view bar and that same.

[Bald Brian]

Blame cop same blame cop that's the end of the game.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow.

[Brian Bishop]

My God.

[Adam Carolla]

1988.

[Bald Brian]

It was a hit. It was on his greatest hits album. Rock Hudson had died, Liberace had died of aids. Like this was not. This was not something to joke about.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, we, you know, we were. You said the song was made in 88.

[Bald Brian]

He re recorded. There was a version called Uneasy rider from the 70s and then he re recorded the gay version in 88. Probably K Bar beats everyone's ass.

[Gina Grad]

Probably couldn't even remake Uneasy Rider the original one. Because the line he's a of them long haired hippie type pinko fags. I bet you he's even got a commie flag tacked up on the wall inside of his garage.

[Bald Brian]

Because I should point out Dawson replied to my email. Said great one.

[Gina Grad]

I know every single word to the original News 88.

[Adam Carolla]

Wow. First off, mazel tov to both Gene and Bald for stepping it up because I just went with true to your school and I did not.

[Bald Brian]

These are. Could you imagine a version of this coming out today?

[Adam Carolla]

No. And also 88. I mean that's when AIDS was just a death sentence. People are dropping like flies from AIDS in 88.

[Bald Brian]

So I bet Phil Roberson's a big Rider 88 fan.

[Adam Carolla]

I bet he'll know it. We should ask for sure. Oh, Dawson has one.

[Gina Grad]

I got a whole bunch of them came into my head. But we'll start here. This by the great Foreigner. And Lou Graham is one of the greatest rockers of all time. But couldn't happen today because the chorus is white supremacy.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, we got dirty white boy.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, let me get there.

[Adam Carolla]

Does he say he's better than anybody who's brown?

[Gina Grad]

No.

[I]

Are you worried what your friends see?

[Adam Carolla]

Will it ruin your reputation? Loving me? I know. They had the average white man, right? Dirty white boy. Dirty white boy. I don't know. I think you could do that one today. As long as you're not saying you're better than anybody else.

[Gina Grad]

Okay, well this one definitely couldn't happen.

[Adam Carolla]

Dude looks like a lady. Yeah. Hey, Chris.

[Bald Brian]

You Adam?

[Adam Carolla]

You see we're all all tapping our feet about now.

[Bald Brian]

The long hair.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

And I'll throw you one more. This one wouldn't happen either.

[Adam Carolla]

Turning. Oh yeah. China Girl.

[Clint Howard]

Masturbating though.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

This is cultural appropriation. If we can't say China virus, we can't say China girl.

[Adam Carolla]

I think. I think Chloe has license to do whatever he wants because we could never figure out what he was. You know, when you're, you know, Ted Nugent, we all know what he is.

[Brian Bishop]

Side of the line, you're on.

[Adam Carolla]

But David Bowie was just a chameleon. Like, he could just do whatever, be whatever. All right.

[Gina Grad]

Okay, last one. No Civil War apologists over here.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, the band.

[Gina Grad]

Joan Baez had a hit with this one.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, that's right. Oh, yeah. He's lamenting that Dixie died, right? Oh, that's a good poll, Dawson.

[Bald Brian]

Great song.

[Adam Carolla]

It's a great song, man. The band is good.

[Brian Bishop]

How do we square Joan Baez doing this song?

[Adam Carolla]

I know.

[Brian Bishop]

This is, ironically, such a great song.

[Gina Grad]

Joan Bias's version was featured on Freedom Rock. Turn it up, man.

[Bald Brian]

You forgot how influential the band was. Like, I only just recently, probably in the last year, saw the Last Waltz for the first time. And all the legendary artists that were, you know, eager to jump on stage with them. Van Morrison and on and on and on. Clapton and on and on and on. They were. They were a huge. They were the band's band.

[Gina Grad]

I got your Vicky Lawrence if you want it.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yeah, the reason I'm playing this. And Max Pattern. Maybe we should bump March Madness Madness till tomorrow. Is that gonna screw up our bracketeering?

[Bald Brian]

No, we can do that.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay. Because I. We've discussed this song before, but there's a part of it I missed.

[J]

He was on his way home from Candle Dock.

[Adam Carolla]

This is Carol Burnett. Vicky Lawrence. Haven't I told you that, Gina? Yeah, it's crazy.

[Brian Bishop]

We talked about that.

[J]

Andy Willow said, hello, and he said, hi, what's doing?

[Adam Carolla]

Whoa.

[J]

Said, sit down. I got some bad news.

[Adam Carolla]

It's gonna hurt, so. Hold on a second. Andy, you're not gonna like this.

[Brian Bishop]

Put on some coffee.

[Adam Carolla]

Andy decided to stop off and have a drink. And as we've learned from Dawson's offering, in this song and every movie I've ever seen, don't stop off to have a drink. It never works.

[Bald Brian]

An Easy Rider. What happened? Someone just stopped to have a drink.

[Adam Carolla]

Every movie where you walk into a bar, you never walk out without a fucking bullet hole and you're a knife sticking out or some horrible news about your wife. That's all there is when you go into a bar. And if you go into a bar you've never been into before, oh, you can't even walk in without the needle dragging and all the bikers at the pool table.

[Brian Bishop]

What about a boy named Sue? You gotta fight your dad, right?

[Adam Carolla]

Or. And don't walk into an old west saloon. Don't walk into a bar. You're never welcome. All right, sorry. So he goes to the bar.

[J]

She been gone. She's been seeing that Amos boy, Seth.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, hold it for a second. Seth Amos, he's his best friend. This is his best friend. And his best friend is informing him that your new bride has been seeing somebody else. Which is devastating enough.

[Bald Brian]

It gets much worse really fast.

[Adam Carolla]

I know. I would have left it at that if it was, in fact, his bride.

[Bald Brian]

And some other stuff anyway, etc.

[Adam Carolla]

Etc. How do we really define best friend? Is it one bird person or can we have a group of best friends? But anyway, then he informed him, he.

[J]

Got mad and he saw red.

[Brian Bishop]

And Andy said, boy, don't you lose your head.

[J]

Cause to tell you the truth, I've been with her myself.

[Adam Carolla]

All right.

[Bald Brian]

Angry. He's so angry.

[Adam Carolla]

To tell you the truth, the man is agitated.

[Bald Brian]

I can tell you're furious, ready to murder someone. But to be honest, I've been with the.

[Brian Bishop]

The rest of the town pump over there.

[Adam Carolla]

You're basically saying, don't kill that guy. I'm here.

[Bald Brian]

You could just fuel the fire.

[Brian Bishop]

This is suicide by cop.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Why would you bring that up?

[Bald Brian]

As a best friend of all things.

[Adam Carolla]

Of all things.

[Bald Brian]

Of all times.

[Adam Carolla]

I've heard that song a million times. And I always forgot or never really heard the part where he was banging her too. But again, you know, Brian always hates those movies where they deliver information that's unnecessary. It was funny.

[Bald Brian]

Adam, I'm your brother. We've been brothers our whole. No brother would ever say that. No brother has ever said that. No brother would ever say that.

[Adam Carolla]

No. It was funny because Albert Brooks was complaining a lot about that when I listened to that interview. Yeah, he had a whole thing about, like, unnecessary information. Now, there are ways to do it.

[Bald Brian]

You could say he's a genius.

[Adam Carolla]

Mom. Mom's gonna be here soon, so we should clean up this apartment. But, you know I'm your brother. Yes, which they always do.

[Phil Robertson]

But.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I'm not.

[Bald Brian]

Those of you with a sibling, Gina. Think how weird it would be to say to their face, you're my brother.

[Clint Howard]

No, that never happens.

[Brian Bishop]

Not once.

[Adam Carolla]

No. And I can't remember what his. He had a couple other examples introducing characters names, Right? Oh, yes. Where they keep saying the person's name. Yeah, the only group that does that Consistently are politicians. Once politicians get your name in real estate, they keep saying your name.

[Brian Bishop]

Car salesman.

[Bald Brian]

Yep. Anyone trying to sell you something?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, right. Yeah. Car salesmen and politicians. The thing that's always funny is on rare occasion, they'll screw it up. The first time, they'll call me Andy or something. And I won't correct them, thinking, well, I'll never see this person again. But if they're trying to sell you a car, they'll keep saying it over and over again. And at a certain point, you get too deep with them screwing up your name. Because now once they've said it four times, you can't stop them on the fifth.

[Brian Bishop]

How do I sign these finance papers?

[Adam Carolla]

This is gonna be.

[Bald Brian]

To tell you the truth, I'm with or myself.

[Gina Grad]

I was just saying we gotta resolve this chorus before several of us musically inclined people get a migraine.

[Adam Carolla]

That's a night that the lights went out in Georgia.

[J]

That'S a night that.

[Adam Carolla]

They haunted Innocent man. Hey, Chris. Oh, don't.

[Bald Brian]

This would fucking slap.

[Brian Bishop]

Chris.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Yeah, okay.

[Bald Brian]

By the way, big, the big belly judge, as they reveal later.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. I would be proud to call Vicki Lawrence my sister. And I would say it to her face, you're my sister and you've been featured on Carol Burnett and you had a number one song. Or the sister from the song who actually did the murder found out my wife was cheating on me, so just fucking went and killed her. And they'll never find that body.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, that's his sister.

[Bald Brian]

Little sister.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Bald Brian]

Too small. Interesting.

[Adam Carolla]

And she has tracking skills at night. My sister's tracking skills are, like, fair to middling. Like, maybe, like, I'd give Lauren a five. That's right. That's right.

[J]

And the judge said, guilty in a make believe trial. Slapped the sheriff on the back with a smile. Said, supper's waiting at home and I.

[Adam Carolla]

Gotta get to it.

[Bald Brian]

So they gotta get this thing over with.

[Adam Carolla]

Let's end. Night that the lights Went out in Georgia. That's a night that they hung in. Chris. They must have. You can't have a number one song and try not to follow it up with something.

[Bald Brian]

So, Vicky Lawrence, the Night the Lights Came Back on in Georgia.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. It'd either be that or it'd be hey Jude, you know what I mean? Like, they'd have to cover something you couldn't. Vicki Lawrence must have tried to follow this up because this was a number one song. And you can't just have a number one song and not try to follow it up. There had to be now again? Yeah. It's either lights back on in Georgia or maybe it's a cover.

[Bald Brian]

Yeah. The follow up is called He Did with me me number 75.

[Adam Carolla]

He did with Me.

[Bald Brian]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

What does that mean?

[Gina Grad]

I think if you say it like he did with me, then it makes.

[Adam Carolla]

A lot more sense.

[Bald Brian]

Oh yeah, sure. Oh, he didn't with you. But he did with me.

[Brian Bishop]

He didn't with you.

[J]

He did with me.

[Adam Carolla]

She should have covered Midnight Train to Georgia.

[Bald Brian]

I was just about to say better Georgia song that that one or this one.

[Adam Carolla]

Midnight I'm going Midnight Train to Georgia. But the songs, the song is. Had a little bit of that hokey 70s. Tell the story from the South. We got. Speaking of the night.

[Gina Grad]

The night they drove old Dixie down.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. We had a real Dixie Southern obsession in the 70s. We had a weird small town sheriff thing. Ron Howard made like movies.

[Brian Bishop]

Dukes of Hazzard.

[Adam Carolla]

Dukes of Hazzard. We, we had this weird 70s, kind of a mid early 70s. Lots of songs about the Tallahatchie Bridge and stuff like weird hometown folklore, small town folky 70s Southern songs and the southern rock and all those. I mean we had so many Southern songs. Yes, Gina.

[Brian Bishop]

I don't know. I think this would be considered in that same vein. Certainly not in the melodrama, but one of my favorite songs from that era with just a delightful story. Harper Valley pta.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

Jeannie Riley. I love that song.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Well, we should do. Which they made into a TV movie starring, Starring Barbara Eden.

[Gina Grad]

I love your biggest complaint about the Harbor Valley pta. Didn't they have two people in that song with the same name?

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. You gotta find it now. Yeah, because she. Well, first off, think about the state of television. The Harper Valley PTA was a ditty of a song that was 2 minutes and 47 seconds long. And they made a 90 minute movie out of all it was was a mom going in and telling off the PTA because her daughter was wearing a short skirt.

[Bald Brian]

The Gambler was the same era.

[Adam Carolla]

Right.

[Bald Brian]

Right before the song began.

[J]

The movie.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. Yeah, yeah. They use. He's accusing someone of sleeping with a guy, but they use the same name twice.

[J]

Well, her daughter came home one afternoon and didn't even stop to play.

[Brian Bishop]

And this isn't about the daughter, this is about the mom.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[J]

He said, mama. Got a note here from the Harper.

[Adam Carolla]

Here's a. A new challenge for us for another show. Songs where the person in real life would be fucking horrible. Like I always, always tell you about Little Miss Sunshine and the Junkie Grandfather, that'd be the worst person you've ever met in your life. The sister that went out and executed the wife and dragged her body into the woods. That's no fucking hero. The real life version of that criminal. Yeah. Oh, my sister in law's cheating. I'm gonna go execute her and bury her in a marsh.

[Brian Bishop]

Homicide.

[Adam Carolla]

That's a man.

[Clint Howard]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

And by the way, this Harper Valley PTA mom is a fucking nightmare.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, you wouldn't want her as your mom.

[Adam Carolla]

No.

[J]

It's reported you've been drinking and or running round with men and going wild.

[Bald Brian]

It was made into a promotion picture in 78 and an 81 miniseries. Yeah, this thing had legs.

[J]

And it was ran by the secretary. Terry Harper, Valley pta. Well, it happened that the PTA was gonna meet that very afternoon.

[Adam Carolla]

Here comes the names.

[J]

And they were sure surprised when Mrs. Johnson wore her miniskirt into the room. And as she walked up to the blackboard, I can still recall the words she had to say. She said, I'd like to address this the Harper Valley pta.

[Brian Bishop]

Here she goes.

[J]

Well, there's Bobby Taylor sitting there. And seven times he's asked me for a date. And Mrs. Taylor sure seems to use a lot of ice whenever he's away.

[Adam Carolla]

Drinker.

[J]

And Mr. Baker, can you tell us why your secretary had to leave this town?

[Brian Bishop]

Knocked her up.

[Adam Carolla]

Yep.

[J]

And shouldn't quit it Jones be told to keep her when the shades all fall completely down. Well, Mr. Harper couldn't be here.

[Adam Carolla]

Cause he stayed too long.

[J]

Kelly's Bar again?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it's the Harper Valley PPA. And then Mr. Harper.

[J]

And if you smell shit, Thompson.

[Adam Carolla]

All right. Schick's doing a lot of snooping. Yeah, she's also monitoring the consumption of ice. Their neighbors.

[Gina Grad]

That's a very clever way to call someone an alcoholic, though.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it is.

[Brian Bishop]

Fries too much. Well, and also I just finished, I think it was our 26th viewing of the Sopranos last night. And it took me this many viewings to realize that out of all of the Italian names on the planet, two pretty decent sized characters. One last name is Barisi and one's last name is Parisi with a B and a P. And it took me this many viewings to realize that.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, Phil Robertson, Duck Dynasty is in the waiting room. I'll hit Geico and then we'll talk to Phil. Do you own. Do you rent your home? Well, you do one or the other and it can be hard work. Right. Well, there's also your automotive policy. Well, how about you put that together with your homeowners or renters insurance, it's called bundling. And then you save a bunch of money. It's a good thing too because you already have so much to do around the house. So you go to geico.com, get a quote and you see just how much you could be saving when you visit geico, that is geico.com and get your bundle on. All right, professional hunter and duck dynastician Phil Robertson will be on the show right after this.

[Gina Grad]

And now Alcoa presents Definitely not a Jew on the Adam Carolla show, Dateline, Plymouth, England. After it attempted to steal part of his meal, a McDonald's customer was arrested.

[Adam Carolla]

For biting a seagull.

[Gina Grad]

Definitely not a Jew.

[Adam Carolla]

Phil Robertson from Duck Dynasty. And of course the podcast Unashamed with Phil and Jace Robertson, available on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. Also an Internet show in the woods with Phil. It's available on Blaze tv. Good to see you again, Phil.

[Phil Robertson]

Good to be here, Adam.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm looking into your story. It's a very interesting story. I want to get into your sports background, but first upbringing. Born in some pretty rugged conditions. No electricity, toilet, bathtub. How did you grow up?

[Phil Robertson]

Well, I asked my mama, I said mom, who built this place, we're living in this cabin. And she said your cousin Douglas Waters built that out of a with a cross cut saw and an ax. One may have built the structure. I was born and raised in fireplace in one end. If you want to take a leak, you just shutters, you know, just open the shutters and take a leak if you're a male. So it was pretty handy. So well out in the back, cow down there. Milk cow. They'd milk the cow, get your butter, kill a couple of hogs a year. We ate a lot of fish, a lot of ducks. So psy went naked until he started the school. My brother and his and mama told him said you got to start wearing clothes now you're going uptown to school. He said a wearing old clothes. So she had to put a belt on his butt to get him lined out. But he finally chose to wear clothes. It was one of those things Adam, where you're poor. But I never heard anyone say man, we are poor. Well, we had a treat was hickory nuts. We call them hickory nuts. Hickory nuts we'd gather from the trees and toe sacks and ma would can deal pickles. Kept potatoes that you raised, kept them up on the house where it's cool. So a treat was throwing the potatoes over in the fireplace, lay two or three of them, deal pickles, and we'd crack those nuts. And we didn't have Coca Colas and all this stuff.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, this is an interesting subject because historically in this country and everywhere else, when you were poor, you didn't have anything. That kind of became a full time job. You had to milk cows and slaughter hogs and collect firewood, bring potatoes into different rooms and crack nuts with your shoe heel. And it was like, it was, it was engaging, you know what I mean?

[Phil Robertson]

Everyone worked, Adam.

[Adam Carolla]

Right?

[Phil Robertson]

Everyone worked, right.

[Adam Carolla]

So look, when you're stuck on an island, you don't feel poor on the island. You're like collecting wood and trying to start a fire. Like everything's an engaging activity. It's like you have to work. Yes.

[Phil Robertson]

Let me show you an upside. I brought these because I want your listeners to kind of with the question you asked. My background, you say, what was one of the things that come out of that background? I had the ability to sound like birds. You like? Well, is that something to be bragged about? Well, I decided went to college. In fact, the whole bunch went to college at some point or another. And all of them earned degrees except Psy. He stayed in the army for 25 years. But all the rest of them, we went to college, we got the degrees, we heard what the professors had to say. So we all came out of it. Football scholarship. But right after the, that, the education process, I looked up one day and I said, I never needed that. I never used it. I just have it now, a master's degree to tell people and it scares them. I just use it as a scare tech. But here's what came out of that. And look, in America, someone said so. So you've got these devices. What are they? Watch. This is a wood duck. Wood duck. I learned how to sound like a wood duck. You say. Had that ever been done before in the history of mankind? No, sir. I'm the first one on the market.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, wait a minute, Phil.

[Phil Robertson]

995. It's yours.

[Adam Carolla]

Could you? Well, I think Harlan Williams can do it. To be fair, there are other human beings on the planet. It's a long story. But wait, could you do that minus the duck collar? Like, could you as a young boy, could you do that just with your mouth and your throat?

[Phil Robertson]

So living in the woods, you learn what animals and birds sound like. You learn the difference between a wood duck and a mallard duck and a dove and a quail. So that upbringing, when you wanted to sound like them, it's like playing piano by ear. I had the sound in my head when I hear them fly by. I would get back to home, and I would work on these devices that sounded like what was flying around. So all of these, like, here, mallards. Here's a Gadwall.

[Adam Carolla]

Wait, is that from a B52 song? What's a Gadwall? What's a Gadwall? Is that a kind of duck is.

[Phil Robertson]

Called a gray duck, but he raises up in the Canadian prairies and the wild. The wild Canadian provinces up there, the grasslands, they migrate down every year. And all these duck calls. I'm just showing you simply how you could have roots that were very rudimentary at the best, but if you could sound like birds, it made me a multimillionaire.

[Adam Carolla]

It's such a crazy story.

[Phil Robertson]

Look, I trusted in God, I trusted in capitalism. Have to have it. And I worked hard. I didn't sign any papers with the government. I'm gonna start a business. So I need to go check with the local authorities, the state authorities. I just nailed the board up on an old shack out there by my house, and it said Duck Commander. That's what we're gonna call it, Worldwide. So therefore, that's the beginning. That's my route.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, so getting back to the roots. And your house probably literally had roots in the basement, right in the cellar. So literal roots. So it strikes me today. So I didn't grow up like Phil, but I grew up poor. And we didn't dwell that much on being poor. You had to do stuff. If you wanted to go see a movie, you had to go collect bottles. Bottles and turn them in. I mean, this is an urban version of your life. But, I mean, if it was Saturday, I'd go knock on doors. Do you have any bottles? Any pepsi bottles? They're 5 cents for the big ones. And people just go, yeah, I got a couple of bottles. And I'd drag them off to Ralston's liquor store and stuff. But I wasn't sitting being miserable because I was washing cars, trying to make some money to go see a movie or go get some candy or something like that. That it strikes me that today poor people not only are kind of sedentary, like real poor, especially if you're getting money from the government or something, or subsidized housing or free housing or something like that, you're spending a fair bit of time in that world. I mean, theoretically, you can have a job or you do have a job, but there's a lot of downtime and you're looking at a phone and a TV set which is showing you imagery of all the people that have all the stuff. You know you're watching the Kardashians TV show while you're poor. So Phil didn't know he was poor because Phil was engaged and he wasn't watching the Kardashians.

[Phil Robertson]

Therefore, you say, what are you down to now? I point people to Jesus for one reason. When someone pointed him out to me when I was 28, I said, Let me get this right one. I'm counting time, buying. It's 20, 21 years since Jesus showed up. I'm like, what would it take for the world to count time by you? I told Dan, who works for me, the boy hooked this thing up. I said, dan? I said, call that. Who's the smartest woman on the computer? What's her name? He said, I've never turned on a computer. I don't own a cell phone. I said, what's that woman's name? He said, electric. I said, ask Alexa, what year is it in China? He said, alexa, what year is it in China? She said, 2021. I said, what about red North Korea? 2021. I said, Throw in Russia. What about Russia? Russia? 2021. So at 28, with a couple of degrees under my belt, I'm getting drunk, getting high and getting laid, and I start reading about this Jesus. Some guy pointed him out, let's see, we count time by. We are surely sinful, because throw me in that mix and I'm going to die. That's a fact. Jesus answered all of the problems, solved them in three days, died on a cross. Sin problem gone. Three days later, resurrection and grave problem gone. I'm like, what's that going to cost me? The guy said, free of charge.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, that reminds me. Ozzy's GoFundMe page.

[Phil Robertson]

Sorry to pay for everyone, therefore funerals around here, sir, that. That part of the equation. You say, the man is just follow Jesus. He hates no one. The cancel culture comes along and. And they're canceling me for this, that and the other. And I'm thinking, but if they're doing the same things, I'm doing the same sinful behavior I came out of. Why am I so surprised? You described fierce independence is what was going on with the poor and the downtrodden and the people of the 1940s and 50s. Fierce independence. We lived by it, and that still is in my psyche there, Carola.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I have many thoughts and I'd like to discuss that with you, Phil. And I also want to circle back to some of your playing days because I love football and I have some questions about that. So I have a thought. I'm not a religious man. I always said I wish I was. Was. It's not in me. I kind of grew up in an atheist environment. I grew up in a very non spiritual religious time in a non spiritual religious world. But I've always intellectually been honest. And what I wish I was, I wish if something tragic, I do too. Well, maybe we can convert me. If something tragic happened to a loved one, I would like to believe they were in a better place. Or if I was in an airplane and we hit turbulence, I'd like to believe, believe that I would be in a.

[Phil Robertson]

It's called hope, Carolla.

[Adam Carolla]

But so here's an interesting concept for Phil and you speak of cancel culture and I'll circle back to that. I always use Evander Holyfield, who at least says he's a very religious guy. Now he's got a few kids out of wedlock, but he's a very religious guy. According to him. Him when he went in to fight Mike Tyson, the baddest man on the planet, he didn't seem scared at all. He seemed. Anyway, one of the things I always marveled at when Holyfield was going to fight Tyson is Holyfield didn't seem bothered by it at all. And as a matter of fact, that's how he fought him and that's how he beat him. He actually bullied Mike Tyson where everyone else was running from Mike Tyson, which eventually is going to get you knocked out. Holyfield just went in and traded hooks with him. He just walked right in the center ring and you'd kind of see him walking into the ring, he looked totally composed. You'd see the other fighters who had to fight Tyson in their prime, they look really nervous in the corner. They came out of the corner, they came out nervous. Holyfield wasn't that way. And then I started thinking about cancel Culture. The people I know who are standing up to Cancel Culture and don't seem to be worried about it are the deeply religious people. They feel like either God is protecting me or this is more important than whatever's going on on Twitter. Precisely what is that feeling you have as it pertains to your religion and let's say cancel culture.

[Phil Robertson]

What's amazing is I'm trying to invite the council crowd. Here's an interesting little text. Half brother Jesus said this. There's one lawgiver and judge, the one who can save and destroy. Who are you to judge your neighbor? Other words. That's the text over in James. You're like one law given judge. I don't make the rules. The law. I don't judge people. I'm a mere man with plenty of sins. I had a daughter walk out of my past here last year. She checked her DNA and she says, I think that guy's my dad. And I'm thinking, I know nothing about this woman. I haven't seen this girl ever. 45 years, she steps up, shows us her DNA. I have mine run. It's a match. I'm like, honey, you're about the best thing that ever came out of my past. I said, I didn't even know you were mine for 45 years. She said, I didn't know you were mine for the same length of time. How did that. She said, I finally found my dad. So even our sins and the things that happened because of it, even that. She lives next door to me. And I now. I said, come on down. So she moves in. I gave her the house. So she lives there, her and her husband. He's an artist. And now we've bonded. My daughter that I never knew I had is part of the family. We learn to forgive. The cancel culture doesn't even know what it means. Why don't you just forgive your neighbor? The two greatest commands in the Bible? And people look at it like, ah, that Bible stuff. Love God and love your neighbor, Carolla. What in the world is the downside to that kind of mind, which I have in my head? You say you're not mad at these people? No, I'm just shaking my head, saying, y' all ever thought about love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, self control? Have you ever entered your mind? They're like, what's that old guy doing howling about Jesus and going, I'm trying to win them over, but, whoo.

[Adam Carolla]

Good luck.

[Phil Robertson]

Yeah, it's a tough job, man.

[Adam Carolla]

It's an. It's an.

[Phil Robertson]

I'm up to it.

[Adam Carolla]

It's a. It's. It's kind of interesting. It's a theory, but it's one I've been kicking around for a while. I do notice guys like Dennis Prager, they have a very religious. And they don't seem to be scared of the cancel culture because they feel like their religion is more important than that.

[Phil Robertson]

Just look what the pandemic did. Carolla. The pandemic comes. Listen, you say, did you ever wear a mask? Well, of course not. I didn't wear a mask. Someone said, says, well, did you watch your distancing? I'm baptizing people. And I told them, I said, listen, the current law says I can't touch. You have to stay six feet away from me. But I don't think I can lasso you with a rope and pull you under the water. I think I'm going to have to have your hand to baptize you. I said, I tell you what, let's just trust in God and go, well, I never caught the coronavirus. I've never had it.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, what do you think that. Do you think that's because of God?

[Phil Robertson]

I'm just telling you the facts. So someone says, well, what did you do now when the vaccine came up? I said, Ms. K, let's go get our vaccine. We've never had it yet, but who knows? Let's don't test God. Let's get the vaccine. Now that I've been vaccine, they're still saying, got to wear the mask and stay six foot away. I'm like, now wait a minute, I never had it. I'm vaccinated against it. I can't give it to you. You can't give it to me. Why am I still arguing about a mask?

[Adam Carolla]

Well, we got into this yesterday with a comedian, Russell Peters, whose mom has been vaccinated and I think had it and was tested for it and still has to be quarantined. The answer to that is they're in love with the rul now and they're going with them. That's why schools are shut down here in California. A year plus, after they shut them down, they did all the science. The science says it's completely fine, but they're drunk now with power and they're like telling people what to do. That's why you become a politician or many politicians. Many politicians get that job to regulate, to tell people what to do. And they've enjoyed it and it's worked nicely for them. So they're gonna continue. And that's why you have to wear a mask after you get vaccinated. And they're gonna tell you all about different strains, but at some point, we live in this country because we like freedom. Phil, I want to talk about your playing days. I saw here that you're recruited to play quarterback for the Washington Redskins, but chose to pursue hunting instead. That's. Well, it worked out, I guess, but it seems like a weird decision to make at the time. Is that a true story?

[Phil Robertson]

True story. Actually, the guy who left Louisiana Tech, Bob Brunei, played running back for the Washington Redskins. He came to me personally, he said, come on up. And he said, look, you got this guy that he's no match for you. What's the guy that broke his leg?

[Bald Brian]

Theisman.

[Phil Robertson]

Joe Theisman, Yeah. He said, you got him, but you, you can blow by him. He said, it's open job if you want it. And I thought about it a little bit and I thought, let's see, large violent men, head button me. That's before. That was against the rules. And stomping me into the dirt. I can do that or I can chase ducks, you know, I said, I think I'll chase ducks.

[Adam Carolla]

But how much, how much money could you make selling, I mean, chasing ducks back then?

[Phil Robertson]

It started slow. The first year sales were 8,000, but we stayed the course. Corolla. The second year was about 13,5. I said, Ms. K, we are on a roll. She said, we're going to starve the death. I said, no, no, we are all right, we're good. So 30,000. The third year, 48,000. 80,000 over the hundred thousand finally hit the million mark where we're selling a million duck callers a year. When the TV bunch showed up, they watched one of our little DVDs. I said, we're going to film ourselves shoot ducks. I think there's a market for that. They didn't have those things at that time. So we started filming ourselves shoot ducks. A and E, Los Angeles, New York, saw some of those things. Somebody said, why don't we film a functional family? That might work now, if we can find one. They said, this, this group right here looks like they're functional, meaning they're not. They're. They're godly people. So somebody said on a dash, let's do it. So they come down. Once that started, the sales went ballistic. Then T shirt, I mean every kind of hunting clothes. So it just piled. I came out of there loaded.

[Adam Carolla]

So I have a. I have a black Labrador who likes to go in the swimming pool, but I don't know if I could train him to get a duck. Is that, is a Labrador the best duck dog?

[Phil Robertson]

I love them. I'm in the south. They take the weather goods hot down in here. But we have great dogs. Old Blue, I just retired one, but I got another nipple. Replaced him today. So we have great hunting dogs. They'll go get your birds, bring them back to you. You know, we bake ducks, we ball ducks, we fry ducks, we grill ducks. Every way known to man to eat a duck, we have it down.

[Adam Carolla]

How do you train. I had a guy lived down the street from me. He was a hunter. He had a dog, was a hunting dog. And I think at some point, the kid. I was about 11, my family didn't hunt. We didn't have guns. We didn't convene with nature or do anything. But I was kind of interested in this guy. His name was Brian. And his dad had guns and would refill the shotgun shells and stuff in the garage. And he had a dog named. I don't know if it was Daisy, but either way, he said they would put barbed wire in a sock and train the dog to go get it so that the dog wouldn't bite down on the sock and get punctured with the barbed wire. I never knew if he was gingerly making it up or what, but they probably did that. They probably did that, probably did that.

[Phil Robertson]

But our dogs, they love to hunt. That's another reason I believe in the Almighty. These dogs, some of them, like a Labrador retriever, it's in their bloodline, their DNA, to retrieve birds. You would think I'm like, what department in saltwater gave those dogs the ability to retrieve my dead? So it's amazing. We become, as they say, very close with our animals because they do such a great job, save us a lot of time and effort. Imagine, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. There's eight ducks on the water, and your Labrador retriever is swimming at brake speed, going out across shallow water, running down a cripple, bringing them back, and they just going, and they just gather them up. In a matter of. Of a few minutes, all your ducks are racked in your blind and your dog just sitting there, ready to go, ready for the next bunch. So I need to take you duck hunting.

[Adam Carolla]

I have never been hunting a day in my life.

[Phil Robertson]

I never would have guessed.

[Adam Carolla]

I grew up in a place where there was just asphalt everywhere and hunting was nothing. Nobody in the culture. There was no hunting culture whatsoever. I would always love to do it. I've gone, I've shot a few guns and done that kind of stuff, but I didn't even. As a matter of fact, there used to be a liquor store that I used to pass when I lived in Santa Monica, and it was called the duck blind. And I didn't know what that meant. I thought it was like a typo or something. The duck blind. I didn't know what a duck blind was.

[Phil Robertson]

There's duck hunting in the great state of California. I know this because I was conceived in the 40s, 45 in California, and My mother carried me around on the California soil and I think, mark me, that's why I act a little weird sometime. But. But I will say that California, I think they have more duck hunters than any state in the United States. They're really. Oh, there are some great duck hunting in California. I came out there, I spoke in like Modesto, wherever that is.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, we went out there. Yeah, I did a. I did a show on. What island was that, Brian? I'm trying to think.

[Bald Brian]

Augusto.

[Adam Carolla]

No, we did a show out on that for that yacht club.

[Bald Brian]

It was in Stockton. It was right outside of Stockton. I'll find out.

[Adam Carolla]

The island, right?

[Bald Brian]

Oh, I wasn't there.

[Adam Carolla]

It's a lot of. Yeah, I know. I just thought you knew the area or something. We talked about it. There's a lot of river March I marshes. I had no idea. Well, Phil, if you come out to California, if they let you off the plane, I don't know. But if you come out to California, you want to take me duck hunting? Tinsley Island, Is that. That's right. Perform. I will. I'll be more than happy to go out and try out duck hunting. I don't know what the protocols are for drinking when you're doing duck hunting, but I'll bring my own, so I don't want to burden you with that. The podcast is called Unashamed with Phil and Jace Robertson. And it's available on Apple Podcasts and Spotify as well. And the Internet show in the woods with Phil is available on blazetv.com Phil, always a pleasure talking to you. The great Phil Robertson. All right, we will take ourselves a quick break and then we'll come back and do some news right after this. Give me the news with crap News.

[Gina Grad]

With Geno Grad Breaking viral weird crime protest politics.

[Adam Carolla]

Give me news with Gina Grad stuff.

[Gina Grad]

It's on tmz.

[Adam Carolla]

Joe Biden. Come now, Big news with Gina. Gina.

[Gina Grad]

The news with Gina Green.

[Brian Bishop]

Longtime Jeffrey Epstein associate Ghislaine Maxwell was charged Monday with sex trafficking. A minor. That's what federal prosecutors say, that she groomed a 14 year old girl to engage in sex acts with Epstein and later paid her. According to a new federal indictment that was filed in Manhattan. The girl gave Epstein new massages at his estate in Palm Beach, Florida, where he'd also engage in sex acts with her. This occurred multiple times between 2001 and 2004. An earlier indictment claimed Maxwell recruited and groomed girls for sex with Epstein, but this is the first time sex trafficking allegations were added Maxwell's been in jail since this went down. Last year, since she was arrested. Her trial is scheduled for July. She pleaded not guilty to the original charges.

[Adam Carolla]

Was there, like, there's an assumption that she knows a lot, that she may have some info on some people we've heard of?

[Brian Bishop]

I think so.

[Bald Brian]

Thus the conventional wisdom.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, and it was also there was some controversy about how she was caught because she was just sort of hiding in plain sight.

[Brian Bishop]

So that'll be in, like, Connecticut or whatever.

[Adam Carolla]

That'll be an interesting story. And then what would your life be like if you knew that she had the goods on you? Like, let's just say you were a notable person, politician, whomever, public person, and you knew that you'd had interactions with her and that you'd been on the island or on the Lolita Express and she provided a friend or whatever, and you just, you know, you're married, your life's good, your people, you know, you're living that life. But you gotta know the clock is ticking. Right.

[Bald Brian]

You're also thinking of it like a normal person, though. Like, I feel like the people that would engage with her in this kind of activity are sociopathic criminals. Right. So are they predisposed to justifying it some way to themselves?

[Adam Carolla]

Well, well, they may justify, you know, you may. Whomever we're talking about may justify to themselves all day long, but that's not going to work in the courtroom. You know what I mean? I mean, they could be. Or the, or the Twitter sphere, or public opinion. Like, I mean, you. You could be a serial killer and think you were carrying out the Lord's work, but if they catch you, you're still going in the hole.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, and it's very Cosby esque and Weinstein esque. They thought they were above the law, but it turns out they weren't. But you gotta wonder, are they taking special precautions to keep her safe so she doesn't accidentally kill herself the way.

[Adam Carolla]

I would imagine they are? But.

[Brian Bishop]

But we're thinking, I mean, how big do you want to go? Are you just thinking, like some random businessman? Are you thinking Bill Clinton, Donald Trump? I mean.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Well, who knows who's on that list? I mean, there could be a lot of people.

[Bald Brian]

Well, look, anything surprise you at this point?

[Adam Carolla]

No, nothing would surprise me anymore. And you're not gonna find any of my friends dads on that list from junior high because they. They were just poor unwashed masses, like, by nature, by virtue of the fact that you're being invited to go to the island and Fly on the private. Whatever. You're somebody, probably somebody that people wanted to party with, you know, notable something. So.

[Brian Bishop]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

But, you know, it's always weird I always say this, but the people never kill themselves. Like, if she had all the goods on me and I was 74 years old and, you know, I knew they were coming for me, and I'd end up in the scandalous lung, I'd just eat a cyanide tablet. At a certain point, like as the marshals were coming up the driveway after she nailed me during the thing, I would just. Just eat that tablet. I feel like. I don't know.

[Brian Bishop]

That's how we know you just passed the sociopath test. That's how we know you're not one.

[Adam Carolla]

Right? That's right. By killing myself.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, speaking of which, a ninth woman has come forward to accuse embattled New York Governor Andrew Cuomo of sexual misconduct.

[Adam Carolla]

By the way, I've said this. Nobody wants to be embattled and. No, nobody wants to be embattled and disgraced or beleaguered. Yes. And nobody wants to write an alimony check for 100 grand a year. But I would still argue that if you're embattled or writing an alimony check for more than most Americans make a year, you've still done pretty well in your life. You have to. There's no guy.

[Bald Brian]

You've achieved a certain status.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. There's no. Well, he's a sanitation worker from Arleta who's embattled. You don't get embattled when you make $47,000. You have to have a station.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. Or as Weinstein had always been described in the past year and a half or two years, the national disgraced.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. Yes. Right.

[Brian Bishop]

That's a good one, too. So this is 55 year old Sherry ville of Greece, New York. She said Cuomo visited her House in 2017 to survey damage from a devastating flood. And while he was in the house, she says he grabbed her face, kissed her cheeks, and then said, that's what Italians do, kiss both cheeks. And there's a picture of it. She said, I know the difference between an innocent gesture and a sexual one. I never felt as uncomfortable as I did the day Governor Cuomo came to my house. His actions were very overly sexual, highly inappropriate, and disrespectful to me and my family. Guess who's representing her?

[Adam Carolla]

Oh. Oh, Gloria Allred.

[Brian Bishop]

That's right. That's. Her attorney says they intend to inform the New York Attorney General's office that Ville is willing to cooperate with the sexual misconduct investigation. She said she didn't come forward earlier because she was afraid of his power and what that could do against him. Her. And she says that Cuomo left her house that day and he invited her to an event with him after.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, so far we always talk about this.

[Brian Bishop]

The diminishing returns.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, you have to have.

[Bald Brian]

The sequel's never as good.

[Adam Carolla]

He's got a bunch of twos and threes that we're trying to add up into a 10. And now there's the one case of called to the governor's mansion where he groped or something like that that the I kissed her on the cheek or this is like kind of sort of weird, a little inappropriate, but I don't know. That falls under the heading of a sexual assault.

[Bald Brian]

Yeah, the Italian double kiss on the cheek. And then invited her to an event later like, hey, we're doing a fundraiser, come on by.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, he's hitting on her.

[Bald Brian]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

I mean that's. Most of these stories sound like he loves, likes the ladies and he's hitting on them, but they don't fit the definition of like sexual assault. I mean, it doesn't feel like there's meat on the bone. Well, a lot of them are like, he grabbed my cheeks and he kissed. Look, I'm no fan of Cuomo. I think he's a pompous ass and I think his feet should be held to the fire for the whole nursing home situation. That's a situation involves a lot of people dying and him lying and maybe cooking the books and numbers and stuff like that for all that. This is just a large group of people that are saying he's a creepy guy. But I'm not hearing any. You know, this is like al Franken times 10. I don't mean times 10. I mean times 10 people. But I'm still not hearing a serial rapist here. But there is again, there's still one person I think who said went to his house to work on or the governor's mansion, like help him with his phone or something like that. And there was some groping going on there. But anyway, we'll see what Gloria has to say.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, we do have a follow up with Sharon Osborne. She is leaving the talk. She's not going empty handed. She's going to leave with millions of dollars. A source tells Page Six that the former co host is walking away with anywhere between 5 and 10 million minimum. And was able to spin that it was her decision to leave the show. Although it may have been another Insider says Sharon is also free to talk when she's ready. The source adds, she still wants to give her side of the story. She's been on that show for 11 years and knows all the secrets. CBS announced that Sharon quit the Talk Friday. Her exit, as you know, came two weeks after her heated debate with co host Cheryl Underwood over Piers Morgan and his criticism of Meghan Markle.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, let's see if we can get either Ted Nugent or Phil Robertson to take her place. That. That I would then watch that show.

[Brian Bishop]

The devil you know.

[Adam Carolla]

I would. Don't get a sassy woman of color. That's just going to be more the same. I need. I need somebody over there thumping a bible, working on a crossbow anytime you disagree.

[Bald Brian]

Like if this dressing a moose.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. If Phil could have one of his duck callers with him and if he disagreed. You know what I mean? Right. So they'd have the person and she'd be giving her take on the George Floyd trial. And at some point he'd just chime in with like. They'd all turn and look at him.

[Brian Bishop]

I'd watch that.

[Adam Carolla]

I'd watch that show.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. Another lawsuit. You know, how we talk about this.

[Adam Carolla]

Has got to be nice for I. Ozzy. Ozzy Osbourne. Most rock and roll guys marry a groupie. They crap out a kid. The groupie starts fucking her personal trainer and then sues him and then moves out and then takes half of the guy's net worth. You know what I mean?

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

He's got a. He earns the dough, does all the rocking and rolling. Now he gets a little bit older, he's starts slowing down, you Covid and touring and everything else, and he just kicks her out of the mansion and she comes back with a sack of money.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Most rock and rollers, when they get older, cannot count on that kind of income.

[Brian Bishop]

That dual income.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Like you got that woman and now. And she's 60 plus or whatever. Now she's going to go out and just earn a shitload of cash and bring it back while you hang out and watch World at War. That's awesome.

[Brian Bishop]

Very good point.

[Phil Robertson]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. So we talked about those Satan shoes by Lil Nas. And the last thing I reported was Nike saying, we don't endorse it. We don't have anything to do with it. Well, now they're getting a little more aggressive. They're suing. Suing the art collective behind those shoes. The lawsuit was filed Monday. Nike accuses MSCHF Product Studio Incorporated of trademark infringement over the design 666 pairs of modified Nikes made in collaboration with Lil Nas. All 666 pairs sold out Friday, like within an hour. In its complaint, Nike asked the court to order MSCHF to permanently stop fulfilling orders for the unauthorized shoes. The lawsuit notes that social media users have threatened to boycott Nike over the controversial shoes.

[Adam Carolla]

Are you allowed to buy a bunch of. Of. I mean you're allowed to buy a bunch of Levi jeans and then bedazzle them and then sell them for 100 bucks.

[Brian Bishop]

You know, somebody tweeted us, Adam, and this was really interesting. If it's true, it totally makes sense. You know, we talk about those lines around the corner on Fairfax and Melrose, those like sneakerhead shops with, you know, whatever. Somebody tweeted us and said a lot of those people are buying in bulk. To resell, to modify.

[Adam Carolla]

No, the lines. The lines for the sneakers are like, used to be like the lines for the concert tickets. They just have people, professional waiters, essentially. Line waiters go out and buy the tickets and then they put them up on fan whatever and they sell them for whatever.

[Brian Bishop]

Yes, but not just to resell. To modify and resell.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, oh, sorry to modify.

[Bald Brian]

But the modifying and the reselling is legal. There's a good question for Garrigos. I wonder if they're going to get in trouble or. The issue is using the Nike logo on like their website and like in selling the product. Because that's trademarked.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, the reason I was confused there, Gina, is because would you wouldn't modify one of the small batch one off wait in line for tennis shoes though, would you? Because I think you so. Well, you know, I don't like.

[Bald Brian]

I'd be shocked.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't like to talk about cars, but.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, make an exception.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, just this once you can get a car like a Corvette or like a Camaro or an El Camino or Bronco or something. You can modify it all you want and sell it to Kevin Hart and hopefully make some money. But you wouldn't touch like a, like a very limited batch Ferrari or Aston Martin or something. Those you don't touch.

[Brian Bishop]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

So it seems like the weight in line sneaker people, those are the one offs you don't touch. Right. And then the other ones you'd modify. But anyway.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, either way, I think this is only. I would imagine it's only good news for this art collective mschf. I mean, all they did was sell 666 pairs of shoes and now they're in headline news. Now we know who they are.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, let's see if we can rank these people. We have the guitar collector collectors. We have the watch collectors, the shoe collectors. We have the car collectors.

[Bald Brian]

Sports memorabilia.

[Adam Carolla]

Sports memorabilia. I mean there's a lot of it out there. Like the argument applies to all of them. I go like, well, you're never gonna wear those shoes. Yeah. And you're never gonna drive that car or wear that watch or whatever it is. It's kind of interesting. I'm trying to think of the mind of the person. I'm by the way into anyone. I hope my kids collect things other than venereal diseases and pills and things like that. It's an interesting mindset. No one in my family did it. I think it's a good wiring in general. At a certain point it becomes a little dangerous and a little bit obsessive. But would we hope for our children that they are collectors?

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. I think it gives you a focus. It's a good hobby actually. Brian. I don't think I've ever told anybody told you guys this, but I just had a recovered memory. Totally forgot. I'm sure it's still in my mom's house. In high school I used to collect Beatles stamps from around the world. And I used to like get really excited about it. And I'll never forget it's God willing. It's still in my dresser drawer. And I home. But I had these John Lennon stamps from Tanzania. And they're in this like mint thing. And I was so excited when they arrived. And it is something kind of fun to do.

[Adam Carolla]

I saw yours.

[Bald Brian]

I'll bet some of those are worth something.

[Brian Bishop]

Maybe I gotta go home find them.

[Adam Carolla]

Not sure if I recognize your mom, but I think I saw her on Pawn Star selling those things back. So I wouldn't count on them being there.

[Brian Bishop]

Was it a. Was it a middle aged woman in a chico's sweater and like you know, a lot of bobbly jewelry.

[Adam Carolla]

She was. She was drinking a diet right. I think for a tab. And then had a snack. Well hanging out of her back pocket. And I remember Tanzania. Yeah, I remember the Tanzanias where the Beatles.

[Bald Brian]

So weird to see a beetle stamp.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I remember Tanzania. Yeah, that.

[Phil Robertson]

That stuck out.

[Adam Carolla]

So I'm not saying it was her, but could have been deal with that.

[Brian Bishop]

Right after she show. Let's wrap it up. But Major League baseball sent out a memo to teams about coronavirus rules. And things definitely are getting more relaxed. Players and staff members who've been vaccinated can get together without masks. In hotel rooms. They can carpool together, do, you know, play cards, you know, hang out on the plane, eat at restaurants, among, you know, other things. During this upcoming season, they'll also not have to wear masks when exercising and don't have to inform a compliance officer when leaving the hotel room, because that's been very common. So that if that's the, you know, testament to the way the wind's blowing, that's good news.

[Adam Carolla]

When's opening? When's the opening pitch or opening season?

[Bald Brian]

April 1, usually. Or tomorrow? Tomorrow, the next day.

[Adam Carolla]

What are they going to do at Dodger Stadium? They're going to allow anyone in there. I know.

[Bald Brian]

It was 20%.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, 20%.

[Bald Brian]

That's what I heard. I don't know.

[Phil Robertson]

That could be.

[Adam Carolla]

And is. Is like, the Texas Rangers is going to be full capacity. That's how. That's how we're rolling. Boy. I'll tell you. No, the lockdown has been bad. I'm not much of a baseball fan, and I'm not nuts about going to a baseball game. I would love to go to a baseball game right now. It sounds good. Nice cold beer and a dog. 20% in social distancing potential.

[Bald Brian]

Oh, yeah. You go to a game with your family, you get a group of seats.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, okay. But they're not gonna have any plexi.

[Brian Bishop]

No, I think you're just.

[Adam Carolla]

We'll create our own pods.

[Brian Bishop]

Spaced out. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, let's do one more. Gina Grand.

[Brian Bishop]

Okay, well, I'll tell you really quickly. I didn't go because I was advised not to watch it right now, which is fine with me, but Andy took the little one to Raya and the Last Dragon. In a movie theater? Yeah, but I was told I didn't have to go. There's a lot of father daughter themes. I'm not really wanting to watch her right now, but, you know, sitting in a theater with, like, a really nice chair in Burbank and the candy and stuff. But the thing about it was, we kept trying to get tickets. I was trying to get them tickets, and every time you tried, it kept saying, like, website locked or screen locked. You're like, what is this? It's because they only sold, like. Oh, a certain number of tickets per theater. Yeah, there was. I mean, you literally. There was maybe six people allowed in each theater in Burbank. So just. Just keep that in mind if you're wanting to go check out a movie.

[Adam Carolla]

Brian, have you gone to him? Well, you haven't gone. You want to get your second shot?

[Bald Brian]

Second shot. In just a few days. And then it'll be just a few days till again.

[Adam Carolla]

I heard the first was 80% now, which isn't.

[Bald Brian]

Depends on the shot. The one they gave me, they said was about 50, 55% after the first shot.

[Adam Carolla]

But are there more than one manufacturer that are doing two shots?

[Brian Bishop]

Moderna and Pfizer.

[Phil Robertson]

Oh, the.

[Bald Brian]

And now Johnson Johnson's in on the act with the one shot. And apparently AstraZeneca is getting on the action.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, not here, I would bet you.

[Adam Carolla]

So I'm always suspicious that they sort of round up and round down depending on how they want you to act.

[Bald Brian]

Messaging is.

[Adam Carolla]

So the COVID deaths is rounded up and the effectiveness of the first shot, I'm assuming they round down because I always. They'll go like 50% and then I'll hear some story where it's like 80% after. That kind of makes sense.

[Brian Bishop]

Anyway, I can tell you too, I just got my second shot and they said it's a doozy. You're gonna feel like shit. It's gonna be the worst thing ever. And for me, my arm was super sore. Like somebody punched me really hard. And I slept last night for 11 hours. But the same thing about the flu shot. Other than that, no side effects. And it was very easy. And I had mine done the second time too, by the entire military. So the intake guy was from the Air Force. The guy who gave my shot was from the Army. It's all people in fatigues. It was quite an adventure.

[Adam Carolla]

God, between the capitol and the administering of the shots and all that, I feel like the National Guard is back, man.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, with a vengeance. I'll just do this last story because we're talking about auctions and things like that. A flaming hot Cheeto that. That sort of looks like Arnold Schwarzenegger was sold on eBay for $10,000. And I think we have a picture of it. The online listing refers to the snack as coveted collector's item.

[Bald Brian]

That's Wrecking Ralph.

[Brian Bishop]

Inform the buyer that the item is not to be eaten and instead should be stored as a collectible item. Cheeto does kind of. I mean, look statue of some sort. But they said it looks like Arnold Schwarzenegger.

[Adam Carolla]

Looks like a shrimp tail to me.

[Bald Brian]

Looks like the Rocky statue.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, it does. It looks like Wreck It Ralph. It also, I think, looks a little like Stretch Armstrong, which again, old school reference. My childhood was so lean that. First things first. One of our joys would have been grabbing this gay muscle man and trying to stretch his legs. One Direction or another. That doesn't sound that entertaining. But I didn't have one. My buddy Chris had one, so I had to go to his house so we could take this thing and try to pull on his legs. Stretch Armstrong.

[Bald Brian]

That lasted till the 90s. That was a big toy for.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, really?

[Bald Brian]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

I was there when it. When they. I. When they were doing the RNA D. Man. So it's a weird thing. Probably sends a dangerous message, like, if you and your friend come across someone who's sleeping, someone grabbed one leg, the other grab the other arm, and let's see if you can get them apart. I.

[Bald Brian]

Freedom.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know. They had, like, Stretch Armstrong. They'd sit and spin. You know, you just sit there Indian style, which I don't think you could sit anymore, and you just spin yourself around like there was. Like.

[Brian Bishop]

You sat. You sat. Crisscross applesauce, right?

[Adam Carolla]

That's right. Not Indian style. And there's just. That's all the entertainment we had. Yeah. My buddy Chris had a Stretch Armstrong. I got to see what one of those look like. All right. Did we bring it home? Gina Grad.

[Brian Bishop]

We'll do it right now. I'm Gina Grad, and that's the news.

[Adam Carolla]

Gina. Gina.

[Gina Grad]

That was the news with Gina Grad.

[Adam Carolla]

Last but not least, that. That's not. They got to show him in the box. And you're showing the younger. You're showing the new Fangle. That's a Middle that up.

[Brian Bishop]

I've never seen that.

[Adam Carolla]

Come on.

[Bald Brian]

He hasn't seen it before.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, well, wake him up. Tell him 70. Stretch Armstrong. That was a younger, gayer one.

[Giovanni]

All right, this is Adam Kollo show 3031. That does it for today's Kroll Classics. Until next weekend, mahalo and get it on.

[Brian Bishop]

Nearly 90% of kids who vape say flavors are why they do it.

[Allison Rosen]

A lot of the flavors that I've heard are. Are, like, peach, mango, watermelon. It makes it seem, like, more childlike and innocent.

[Bald Brian]

Oh, if I try this once, it won't be that much of a problem.

[Adam Carolla]

But then eventually, it becomes a problem.

[Brian Bishop]

It's time to restrict the sale of flavored tobacco products in Oregon and protect our kids from nicotine addiction. Urge lawmakers to Pass Senate Bill 702A. Take action at flavorshookoreegoids.org paid for by the Campaign for Tobacco Free Kids Action Fund.