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A
Well, in this episode, we got Louis CK in for a very revealing one on one interview. Cool dude. And then Rudy Popp's gonna do the news. We'll do all that right after this.
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The Ace man's in Colorado this weekend. Thursday night in Loveland at the Rialto Theater. Friday night in Colorado Springs at Loonies Comedy Corner. Two shows Saturday night at Looney's in Colorado Springs and two shows in Greenwood Village, 11th. Get tickets right now at AdamCarolla.com.
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Huzzah.
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Pluto TV. Stream now pay never.
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You're welcome.
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From Corolla one studios in Glendale, California, this is the Adam Carolla Show. Adam's guest today, Louis CK plus the news with Rudy Pavic. And now, don't worry, PBS and Sesame street getting defunded. He's got Oscars, grouchiness, and Burt's Unibrow. Adam Carolla.
A
Yeah. Get it on, Got to get it on. A choice we're gonna mandate you get it on. Thanks for tuning in. Thanks for telling a friend, Louis C.K. in the studio. Lucy got a book called Ingram which is out as we speak. It's a novel. It's very interesting. I read quite a bit of it, which for me is a big deal. And we'll talk about that. But it's great seeing you in person.
D
Thanks. Same. Nice to see you.
A
Your journey's been a very interesting journey and I like the notion of you're good, you're a good comedian. People want to hear your voice and they can't take that away from you. You can just take it with you. In a world where it feels like everyone can get stripped or fired or sent to Siberia, this is one thing like this. There's only a handful of things. You know, it's actually being a good carpenter is the same thing. When you're really good carpenter, you just work. It doesn't matter. They always need you.
D
That's right.
A
They can't take it away.
D
I actually read in Lincoln, I've been reading this biography of Abraham Lincoln by Carl Sandberg. It's like six volumes. And in the early part where he's young, he grew up in this town that was so bare bones. There was a guy who beat up and he was a drunk and he beat up a lot of people and lit a house on fire. So they put him in jail, but he was the only good carpenter, so they had to let him out. They needed him.
A
So I know because I was a carpenter and I worked with a lot of guys that were horrible alcoholics and horrible, no bedside manner. You wouldn't want to be around them, racist as shit. But Russ get Rust. He's got to work. You got to have him. And it's like, that's kind of what, you know, like. I told my son, I go, listen, you know, during all Covid, he was like, I don't know, 14. I was yelling about stuff and people yelling back at me, and I was getting into trouble. Judd Apatow called me and told me to shut up. And I think he may have done that with you. But I just said to my. He goes, dad, you just say whatever you want. I go, I said, you gotta be good.
D
Right.
A
If you're good, you say whatever you want. If you're not that good, you have to shut up. So, son, say whatever you want. But first, be good.
D
Be good at it. Yeah. Express yourself. Well, I think.
A
Be a good carpenter and say whatever you want, Right?
D
That's right. I mean, if your job is self expression.
A
Yeah.
D
You got to be good at that, not just saying whatever you want.
A
Well, I mean, you're really good stand up comedian.
D
Yes.
A
So if you're really good. Well, no, I mean, I. This is another thing.
D
Yeah.
A
I would tell people all the time, like, I go, I'm funny. Yeah, I'm good. And they'd go, oh, he thinks he's good. I go, I was a good carpenter. I was good at it. You can own being good at something. You're doing it for a long time.
D
40 years. And I'm good at it.
A
You're good at it.
D
I am. No doubt.
A
Right. And so you can say what you want outside of stand up and you can do what you want, and you can never fully be canceled is what I'm saying. You may not work the Olympics this year.
D
That's right.
A
But unless you want to surprise us with an announcement. But you're always going to work.
D
Yeah. And also to your point, with the Olympics, it's what do you want to do? So stay in what you know you can get. And there's a Darwinism to the system a little bit, especially with combat comedy, because actually be able to get laughs consistently is pretty rare. So if you can do it, folks want to see it. And how many folks want to see it will decide where you end up landing. If you feel like you need to have more acceptance than that to feel validated, then you know you're going to be in some pain. But I don't.
A
You know, I brought up Judd Apatow because somebody told me that he got on you. And then I said, well, he got on me too, but for me, it was a loving way. Like, he did it. He called me and said, like, stop talking shit about COVID for me, for, like, my close.
D
Because he wanted you not to get in trouble for.
A
Yeah. He's like, you're going to ruin your career if you keep doing this. So it was more of a loving thing for me, but for you may have been different. I don't know.
D
I don't know. I didn't pay much attention, but he.
A
Put it out there or something, you know? Do you. I. Again, we're talking you. It's me too stuff. For me, it's like Covid stuff. But how many people truly don't care, Just want to get out there, make a statement so it seems like they care.
D
I don't know. I don't really get into other people's heads, you know?
A
You don't?
D
I don't. I think it's a losing battle trying to, like, decide why somebody's doing something outside of what they're. Why they say they're doing it.
A
Right.
D
So I don't. I don't study that much, you know, it would be kind of exhausting for me. So. And I don't. I'm not on social media, and I don't pay attention to a lot of the chatter. Do you know what I mean?
A
So.
D
And I'm sure there's people that do things for one reason or another, but I don't really care.
A
So for you, you've done so many different things. Yeah. A novel is. Is different.
D
Yeah. I brought you one, by the way, because I signed it for you.
A
Oh, thank you. I appreciate. It's really interesting, and it's really unlike what I guess people would think of you or coming from your mind, doesn't feel comedic. It's a very pretty, intense, sad, desperate story and can't tell if it's. I think it's in the future, I would assume.
D
Yeah, sort of.
A
Yeah, sort of. But I think what people would call a departure for you.
D
Sure. Yeah.
A
And is that something you intentionally, like, kind of zigging when they're zagging or just kind of mixing it up?
D
I like zigging when I'm zagging. You know what I mean? Like, I Like running in a certain direction for a while and then seeing it's. It's like a way of tack. Like tacking in a sailboat, you know, like you're kind of headed in one way, but you're. It's a nice thing about sailing is that you're actually going to go this way. You're going to see the sun from this side and then from this side. Right. Even though you're. You're not. A sailboat is not transportation. You know, it used to be, but now. Now it isn't. So I, like, creatively, like going hard with, you know, balls out laughs for a while and then trying to tell stories for a while, you know, sort of. I did a show called Horace and Pete once and it was like drama.
A
Yeah.
D
And so. And even in the series I did for fx, some episodes were kind of. There weren't many.
A
Lucky Louie.
D
No, I had a show called Louie on fx.
A
Oh, Louie.
D
Yeah.
A
Wait a minute. Where do I get. Is there lucky.
D
Lucky Louie was on HBO just one season of his.
A
Oh, okay. The Pam Adlon one.
D
That's right. Yeah.
A
Yes. She's a deer. Yep. She was my wife in a sitcom. And I think I'm trying to think what else I did with her, but I like Pam. Yeah, A real spirit, for sure.
D
Yeah.
A
Different.
D
Different than anybody.
A
Not a lot of Pam Adlons out there. Not. Not that we need a lot of Pam Adlons because she's like paprika just sprinkling on top. That's all we need. Smoked paprika. It was decided to not work if it was just filled with Pam Adlon.
D
For sure. Yeah.
A
Yeah. She played my wife, but I was always trying to get her into something. Cause that was my take.
E
Yeah.
D
I always. When I worked with her, I thought she was a unique voice and one that isn't. A lot of times when people cast women, they either want them to be honey sweet or kind of crispy, you know, but that kind of just like real, you know, mother of three fucking just at the bottom, you know, the grizzly bottom of. Of difficulty of being a woman. But also funny as hell. She just had a great rapid fireball fastball, you know, Comedic.
A
Yeah.
D
So. Yeah. So I. When I met her, I had a mission in my head, like, I want more people to see her. Which I think you did too, sort of.
A
Yeah, yeah, I did. I did. Well, you know, I think you. You see a lot of people where you kind of go, God, what's the big deal about this one? You're not funny. I sat down with the guy for an hour. It wasn't funny at all. Like, what's the big fucking whoop?
D
Yeah.
A
And there's a lot of that, but every once in a while, you see someone's got the spark and you go, oh, oh, we gotta do something with this person.
D
It's fucking rare, man. It's rare.
A
It's rare. And you've seen so many people that don't seem to have much going on pushed to the front of the line that you compelled, for sure. Like there's some ward of the state or something. You gotta do something for them.
D
There was a woman I worked with named Adrian Appaluccia. She's opener.
A
I know that name.
D
Yeah. And so me and Ari Shaffir really wanted her to have a special, so he produced it and I directed it, and we got her to do it, and it's on Netflix.
A
It's nice. And speaking of openers, I heard a story that you went to TikTok and found an opener. Yeah, I did. How'd that work?
D
I was. I don't. I was. I wasn't on TikTok. I was on reels or whatever it is, or on YouTube. YouTube shorts. Because I don't really go on the social media, but I like YouTube. And they started doing the shorts, and then I realized I was getting addicted to it, so I stopped doing it.
A
But.
D
But I got to watch a bunch of standups, and that's like, the new training ground for standups are these, like, short clips. You know, how short are they? So, yeah, so I saw this guy Dan Do. I'm going to fuck up his name. Dan Do, I think his name is. And I never heard of him. And I watched two clips of his, and they really made me laugh. So I just told my. My booker, you know, get that guy in Chicago, because he was a Chicago comic, and I was playing the Chicago theater.
A
So, yeah, that must have been a thrill for him.
D
Yeah, it's fun to do that.
A
I've been doing.
D
I've been doing that my whole career. Like, I was in Australia once, and I played a little club in Melbourne, and the next night I was in the big Opera House in Sydney. So I saw some weird guy, Rob Thomas, I think his name was really strange. Like, the audience didn't get him, but I loved him. And I went up to him, I said, do you want to come to Sydney with me and do the Opera house?
A
Dan Decimo, Dr. D O C I M O.
D
That's right. Yeah. Funny guy. Really Inventive and rare voice. I love stand up. Outside of my exploitation of it. So whenever I see somebody who's like, you know, not doing the obvious thing. Yeah, yeah.
A
But with skill, an angle. Yeah, I love an angle. And also standup is like boxing. You only need to see 3 minutes to know whether a guy knows what he's doing or not. You could Mike Tyson in his prime, you could watch 21 seconds of him boxing.
B
That's all you ever really did.
A
Oh, that guy. Okay, that's all you got. But you go, oh, that guy's devastating.
D
That's right.
A
And you watch a two minute clip online and you got a real good idea of who this person is medically, Right?
D
For sure, yeah. I mean, there are people that can do two minutes that can't do more.
A
Right.
D
I can tell that that's it. That's all they got. And this guy, you could tell there was a voice, there was a person on stage with a whole, you know, and you can just hear the fastball, you can hear the pop in the glove.
A
So, you know, it strikes me there's a lot of people that want to do standup, but they're really not standups. But they can do it in the sense that anyone can memorize a handful of jokes and sort of go out there. And the audience sometimes is not really sophisticated enough to. Not really to understand whether this guy's just telling jokes, stuff you get off the Internet, you know, like, they're. They're easily fooled.
D
Yes, they are.
A
Because they're plumbers and lawyers and doctors and firemen. They're not comedians. So it only kind of rises to the level of what they're capable of. And then I guess the. Well, you tell me. But I think your job as a comedian is to take that plumber who doesn't have a great sense of humor and have them elevate up and understand what you're saying, even if it's sort of above their pay grade. Like your job as a great chef is to do something for this guy who just eats Hamburger Helper, but not. Not be a jack off and have them go, I don't even know what this fucking is. Absolutely have them go. I've never eaten at a Michelin star before. This was good, you know, And I just eat chick fil A. Yeah, but like, understand it. Am I making my metaphor or working this one out?
D
It's a great metaphor.
A
Is it?
D
Yeah, it is. Because that's the sweet spot to me is like, I know what they want. That's Obvious, right? Like, you can go up there and serve them cheeseburgers, right? And they'll eat them. Yeah.
A
Cause everyone loves a cheeseburger.
D
Why wouldn't they?
A
Right?
D
Cheeseburgers are great and I love cheeseburgers.
A
But why do they need. Yeah, but why? They need you to get my cheeseburger.
D
So here's the sweet spot to me is by what you're saying is if you. You don't. I don't have no interest in making cheeseburgers for people. It's not. That's because they'll eat them and they'll forget them. Do you know what I mean? Cheeseburger is not going to make you. It's not going to enrich your life. It's just going to fill your stomach, make you a little sick also.
A
And.
D
But, but if you make these fucking things where, like, you put a food. You take a piece of foie gras and you put foam on it and you hit it with a torch, right? And it's one bite, you know?
A
Right.
D
That's. That's. He's not going to think that you're great because he doesn't get it. Is the other extreme of like, I'm going to do this for me, this is my thing, and I'm going to be rare and interesting and it's kind.
A
Of a cop out.
D
It is. But to take something that is very far from the guy, from the plumber's life, way outside of his life, and make him go, oh, my God, I get that. And I didn't even. I wouldn't have even thought of that. But I get it in my gut.
A
Right?
D
That's fucking. That's life. That's the best thing in my life. It's my favorite thing.
A
I totally agree. And it's something. And the skill of the chef part is you have to get him there without confusing him or losing him.
D
That's right.
A
And so you have these.
D
Well, you can confuse them and lose them, but you gotta be there to catch them. It's like a game. It's like juggling. Like, you look like you're falling all the time, but you kind of, you know, you freak them out. But you know, it's gonna be like you. It's. It's like a ride. It's like. It's like a roller coaster sometimes.
A
Yeah. I think I. I think the best part is when you see the audience. For me, at least, when I do stand up, it's not. I mean, the punchline's great, but I like more the part where they go, oh, yeah, yeah. Like, you hear him. Not you can see him nod a little and go, that's right.
D
So this show, this tour I've been doing, I called the show Ridiculous. I don't always, like, name the tours or anything, but it's called ridiculous because it's been the opposite that I've been. People shake their heads and go, what the fuck is this?
A
Right.
D
And on their way to the laugh, they're going, this is. Why are you saying this? This is nuts. Or that's. You shouldn't say that or whatever it is. But then you get them to a place where they're laughing like hell and really glad that they went on that ride. Like, for me, that's really fun to take. Play people through a territory reluctantly. They don't want to go through there.
A
Right, right.
D
I think the thing of making them go, yeah, I really, you know, like the sort of like the pithy. I used to do a version of that, too. It's like, wow, I'm not laughing, but I'm really hearing you. This is a good point you're making. That's one thing. I've done that. But the thing of making them go, why would you bring this up? This is not something to talk about. Or, this makes no sense to baffle them. But then have them land somewhere where they're laughing and really having a good time. That's really great. That's fun for me.
A
Yeah. I think. I'm not saying do the head nodded instead of the punchline. I like the head nod in front of the punchline where they go like, oh, yeah. And then you hit them with something and it's fun. I have this joke. I just did it last night, actually. But it's not. I don't have it in my top 20 jokes or anything, but it's an example of him. And go, yeah. I go, you know, you can't make fun of groups. You can't make fun of blacks or you can't make fun of religion. You can't make fun of anybody. But there's one group you can still make fun of. And everyone kind of looks around. I go, old people. You make fun of old people. You want old fart, old fucked Joe Biden? No one says anything. You'll never get fired. You'll never get into trouble. You make fun of. And they go, yeah, yeah. And I go, I question the wisdom of this practice because why are we making fun of a group that we all one day hope to enter? Yeah. And they go, oh, yeah, yeah. I go, wait, your kids to get old? You want to get old? You want everyone you love to get old?
D
Yeah.
A
And that's the group, right, we're making fun of.
D
Yeah.
A
I don't do it.
D
No.
A
I stick with the Puerto Ricans. And then. So then you give them the stupid laugh.
E
You know what I mean?
A
But you get them. You get them thinking like, yeah, it is true. Why are we doing that? Why are we. Why are we making fun of a group that we're gonna enter?
D
It's funny.
A
It's not even a great. It's not great or anything, but you can see their face kind of go like, huh, yeah. Never thought of that. And that's kind of what you want, right? And that'll work with the plumber.
D
Yeah, absolutely. You get them there through that. Yeah, I like that. Also, I think it's true. We. Nobody wants to. We disdain old people a little bit. Cause actually, I think people don't want to get old.
A
Yes.
D
They want to live a long time.
B
Yeah.
A
They remind us of death. Yeah.
D
People actually kind of believe that they'll stay young forever. Like, they want to live long, but they don't. Old people are a reminder that that's what living long means. It means getting old and weak.
A
Yeah. I never really thought about it, but everybody loves puppies. But not everyone loves old dogs, which is the same dog just nine, ten years later. But they're like, I got no time for that guy. But when they're puppy, they go like. They go nuts. Like, if there's a puppy, everyone will just run toward it and go like, oh, my God. If there's just an old dog, people just sort of step over it, you know?
D
That's right.
A
So we don't like it. It scares us. I get it. But it is essentially like saying, let's make fun of black people. Except for one day, we're all gonna be black people.
D
Right.
A
Mathematically. Just doesn't work out.
D
No. It is like a particularly profound denial that we go, I want to live a long time, but I don't want to be like, that fucking guy. Well, there's. Those two are. And you can't detach them.
A
Right. Yeah. You could then be James Dean.
D
That's right.
A
Right.
D
For a long, long time. Yeah. Yeah.
A
It also doesn't. It seems a little unfair, too, that when, like, the old guys, like, you know, people go like, ah, yeah, I brought my dad over, and he could barely make it up the stairs. Yes. Yes. Arthritic hips. Like, he's 87. Like, yes. He fought in Korea. Yes. He's old. Yes. That's what happens.
D
No, I don't. I don't. I mean, I'm 58, and I, like. I feel like life gets better as you get older. There's more pain in your body.
A
Yes.
D
But I also don't care about it. Like, you just live with it, you know?
A
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B
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D
Mr. Prime Minister, thank you so much for sitting down with me again.
A
You have to understand, we're fighting Hamas. We're not fighting Palestinian civilians. We're very close to finishing off the terrorists. We have to complete the job.
D
Do you think that October 7th gave people a sense of moral authority to express their anti Semitism? Welcome to the Dr. Phil podcast. Do you believe there will be a lasting peace in your lifetime? Available on your favorite podcast app. Subscribe and follow.
A
Yeah, there's a. I mean, maybe first off, you. You see a lot of people coming and going. You know, sometimes it's from a career standpoint, sometimes it's just dead, you know? You know what I mean? Like, you know, I used to. People used to call me Gilbert Godfrey, and then Gilbert Godfrey's dead, you know, and then they called me Norm MacDonald, you know, and now Norm MacDonald's dead. And, you know, you just kind of look around and you go, first off, enjoy yourself. Yeah, yeah. You know, and secondly, there's a kind of an ease I found when you get Older. That's just. You don't care about everything, all that.
D
I mean, you see a bunch of circles go. And you just go. I've seen this.
A
Right.
D
Like everybody feels like the world is falling apart. But that's what it felt like after 9 11. Most people, people that are vital in the culture don't remember 9 11.
A
Right.
D
Everything felt like everything is common completely at that. And then before that, the Reagan and the, and the, the nuclear age, you know, we were all talking about how we're going to blow each other up.
A
Yeah.
D
There's been so many of them, but we're still here. So you get, if you've lived through a few of those, through Watergate, you.
A
Get into climate change and there's 24 year old women who don't want to get pregnant because they don't want to bring their kid up. And I'm like, my mom called this ecology in 1952.
D
Right.
A
Or 1972. We had a crying Indian. I've seen this. Go ahead and shit out some kids. You'll be fine. Yeah, they'll be fine.
D
The world will be different. It'll be different. Yeah.
A
It was also pointed out that you do a Barely Legal bit. And I was talking about Barely Legal on this very program like a couple of weeks ago because it had reminded me that Megyn Kelly made some sort of Barely Legal reference.
D
Yeah, that's right.
A
And she got into trouble.
D
Yeah. She said that it's having sex with a 5 year old or a 15 year old is not the same.
A
I'll play the clip. She made one of these Matt Damon type easily. She said it's not that. Yeah, right. She said sort of the obvious, but everyone jumped on her. But I. She was saying Epstein liked the Barely legal type. And I got it to mean like the magazine.
D
Right.
A
And I don't think the people who were pouncing on her understood. I think she was talking about the magazine, not Barely Legal. Actual young girls who are not legal or something or it's confusing. I mean she got confusing about it. I'll play the clip.
D
But didn't he like barely illegal?
A
Is that the point? Yeah, that's what he liked. Yeah. Yeah. No, I think what she was saying is the girl who was done up in pigtails and the Catholic schoolgirl outfit, like the Barely legal type, except for they were illegal. Yes, but Anne, barely. I guess there's a way to be 16 and not dress that way is what I'm saying. But he wanted both. Well, hear what she said. It's a Little confusing. Okay, let's see.
D
As for Epstein, I've said this before, but just as a reminder, I do know somebody very, very close to this case who is in a position to know virtually everything. Not everything, but virtually everything. And this person has told me from.
A
The start, years and years ago, that.
D
Jeffrey Epstein, in this person's view, was not a pedophile. This is this person's view who was.
A
There for a lot of this, but that he was into the barely legal type. Like he liked 15 year old girls. And I realize this is disgusting. I'm definitely not trying to make an excuse for this.
D
I'm just giving you facts.
A
All right, so she brought up Barely Legal. And I realized, I think she was talking about the magazine. Cause she's old enough. And then I started thinking about the magazine and then I had a realization. I was like, the first Barely Legal model is at least 50 years old today. Probably that's how old we are. I looked it up. 93 was inaugural issue.
D
Okay. Yeah.
A
She had to be at least 18 in 93 to make barely legal.
D
She's 50 now.
A
She's 50 or 51 or 52 or whatever that is. But the Barely legal model is 50.
D
Okay.
A
That's all we are.
D
Yeah. Yeah.
A
So I don't know what your Barely Legal bid is.
B
I didn't.
D
I mean, you don't have to do it. I'm still doing it. I'm still doing it on stage.
A
It's just interesting.
D
Yeah, it's. It's just the hairline. You know, we're right a hair under hairless, you know, just right. Just right there. I don't know what her. That's a weird, confusing thing she was saying. I'm not sure the difference. I mean, that's not. He wasn't into Barely Legal.
A
Yes.
D
He was into underage people.
A
Illegal.
D
That's right.
A
Yes.
D
But I don't know. I don't know anybody in the story. It's interesting that she looks younger than she used to. Megyn Kelly, while she's saying that she's actually getting younger. Oh, there's what the magazine was like.
A
Yes. The first fresh, sweet and sexy women who were girls just yesterday. Oh, God, she's 18.
D
Yeah.
A
And we know what she likes.
D
Oh, my God, we know.
A
Co Ed confession. I wet my panties. Yeah.
D
I also like that this is the premiere issue and that's the first one, huh?
A
Yep.
D
Wow.
A
That woman's a house frau somewhere.
D
Yeah.
A
In one of the Carolinas right now. I guess the other thing, it's Also crazy. You know, you look back on this stuff and it makes you look back on, like, some of the stuff from the 30s and the 40s. Like, oh, there's a sculpture of a black man eating watermelon, you know, and I put it out front of my barbershop, you know, and it's like, you can't do that. That's what we did, you know? Or you look back at some of the World War II art, how we depicted the Japanese or the Germans, or the Germans depicted the Jews. You know what I mean? You go, what the fuck? Yeah, but you don't have to go back that far.
D
No, it's true.
A
Or you go back to the 90s.
D
No, that's right. Things were very different.
A
Oh, my God.
D
I was watching the Sopranos and I was like, you couldn't do a second of this show now.
A
Oh, really?
D
It was the 90s. It wasn't that long ago. Yeah, things change quicker now.
A
Is it. Is it ever. Are we evolving or devolving? Like, what is it?
D
I mean, we're kind of going in circles, you know, because you had, like, Archie bunker, right?
A
Sure.
D
1970, something to 1, 1, 2, 3.
A
Like, really early 70s, early 70s.
D
And around that time, we were going to the moon also, and we're neither. But those are both things that are left in the, you know, like, peaks that were hit that you can't. That we somehow have gotten so far. Like, it didn't. We didn't develop from there, I think were we lost.
A
Here's where I feel like we lost our way content wise. I watched all in the Family religiously. I watched with my progressive, kind of hippie mom, who obviously was against everything Archie Bunker had to say. Now, back then, me as a very young person and my Progressive hippie mom, 71 to 79, understood that Archie Bunker was like the villain in a superhero movie. And you make a superhero movie and you'd go, who's the villain? Oh, no, Villains. You'd go, well, we need a villain. Oh, no, we don't like that. Like, that upsets people. It's like, yeah, I know, but we need a story. The heroes gotta push back against the villain. So we watched and we knew who he was. And then he would get his comeuppance at the end. Always, you know, Sammy Davis Jr. Would plant one on his lips or Meathead would foil him or something like that. And that was the show and we understood. And then we evolved into some sort of place where it's like, well, he called his neighbor a Negro. Or a Jew or something. And you'd go, yeah. Cause he's the dumb guy, he's the racist guy. He's the guy who works on the docs, who represents. And they go, no, but we can't have that. And I go, no, we're not endorsing him. We're holding him out as a guy. It's like they would go on tv, they go, you can't smoke on tv. I'd go, well, she's a French whore. Can't she smoke? No, no, no smoking. I go, are we saying there's no such thing as cigarettes? Or nobody smokes. She's gonna smoke and then we're gonna make fun of her. No, no, but we're not doing smoking, right? I'm like, well, that's not an endorsement of smoking. Yeah, that's what we evolved or devolved to.
D
Well, I think it goes deeper than that because Archie wasn't just a villain. He wasn't a total villain. He was sympathetic as a person. You watched him, he worked hard and he was a husband. He loved his kid and he was passionate about life. And he had a way of looking at life that a lot of people disagreed with. I disagreed with. But he was basically a good guy. He wasn't a bad. He wasn't. The thing is that now, like, you know, like the pre code movies before the.
A
He was nuanced.
D
Yes, he was nuanced. He was both things. So you struggled. You had to hear a guy be racist and you couldn't hate him because he saw how he functioned as a human being. And also he was funny, like the show was funny. So I mean, that's where comedy brings that together. Comedy lets people think two things at the same time because they're laughing, right? It's like a way to get over the uncomfortability of that. But that's. You can be racist in a movie now. You just have to be a villain. You can't be a protagonist who has those feelings. And also Meathead, who was like the good guy. If you look at it like Archie's. The villain was stupid. Like, he was annoying. He was, you know, he was often. He was full of himself, he was self righteous. And so you didn't have to love him either, even if you agreed with what he had to say.
A
Yeah, no, I mean, I'm not saying he was a superhero villain, but what I'm saying is he said things that were real insensitive. And today's TV executive would say, you can't have that on tv. And I would say, well, you should. And then you should address it, right? And then you should sort of deal with it. But you saying it doesn't exist is stupid. It's stupid.
D
But also what's not good is making a cartoon racist and saying, this is the only kind of person says this kind of thing.
A
Right.
D
You know, there is a. There is a episode of. It's like. It became a trope in television of all in the Family, where they got stuck in a meat locker or whatever. Like, they got stuck in the basement. Archie and Meathead got stuck together. So they had to, like, communicate, right? And Meathead said to Archie, I don't remember the guy's name. He said, why are you like this? Like, why do you hate so much?
A
Rob Reiner.
D
Rob Reiner, Yeah. I mean, the actor. But I don't remember his.
A
Michael Stivitt.
D
Michael. So Michael says to Archie, why are you. Why do you hate people? Like, why do you hate black people? And Archie said, well, I was raised by my dad. My dad was a wonderful guy. He worked hard. Life was really hard for him, and. And he taught me the way the world works. Why would he lie to me? Why would you tell me my father would lie to me? And it stops Meathead.
A
Right.
D
Wow. It's just. That gets at why people think the way they do. In his case, I think that's the most valuable thing. You know what I mean? It's better than pretending it's not there. And it's also better than pretending that everyone who thinks one thing is a terrible. Only terrible as people. Yeah, it all comes from somewhere, you know, fear or love or, you know, it's never just one thing. Hate is not one thing, you know.
A
So I was told that you made a feature film that has not been released. Is that correct? Yeah. What is the story?
D
I made a movie called I Love youe Daddy, which I made independently, and it was supposed to premiere the day the story came out about me that put me out of. Put me out of the business. So I bought the rights back and it's mine, I own it. So I can put it out when I want to, but I'm just waiting, you know, I might. I might not, you know. Did you wrote it, wrote it and directed it? Yeah.
A
Are you in it?
D
I am, yeah.
A
And are you starring in it and who else is in it?
D
John Malkovich, Edie Falco, Chloe Grace Moritz.
A
So you got a cast, and it was a. Like, a decent budget.
D
I paid for myself. It was 5 million bucks. I just, you know, I just made it with my own money. That's what I was doing back then because I. I had made this show called Horace and Pete and I released it on my website and I paid for that one. Had Alan Alda and Jessica Lange and Steve Buscemi and Ed Falco and I released that on my website and I paid for it myself and I made good profit on it. So this is just. I was just gonna repeat that.
A
So the model for you of being sort of pushed out of Hollywood and going your own way turned out to be a good thing. Big picture.
D
I think so. Because I've gotten to do what I want. I don't answer to anybody and my fans get it directly and they like that. I have a good relationship with my fans all over the world. I have a big email list and I just tell them, here's another thing, and they like the terms that they get to work from me because they get a lot of this stuff you get. You can download it and keep it. And I don't know, it's just a little cheaper than some. I mean, although I don't do a subscription thing, you know. But anyway, I think the last few years have been hard for anybody in show business in terms of like the rules of play and what you can and can't say. But I just, it's got nothing to do with me.
A
Me.
D
And also because you can only get my work on my website. Although that's just for now. Someday I'd like to work for other platforms because then, you know, people might see me that don't know who I am. It's kind of a closed circuit system, but it, but it's worked really well.
A
Yeah. So like doing a special.
D
Yeah.
A
Shooting it, paying for it yourself and then releasing it yourself.
D
Yeah, it does good. It does good. And they can only get it from me. So, you know, if you're my fan, come to me.
A
X amount per download?
D
Yeah. Well, no, it's one you get. You pay once and you get to download it a few times, but you can stream it for like years. You can access it as a stream for like five years and you can download it. I don't remember how many times. I think five or something.
A
Yeah. So you can work outside the system, but you have to be good.
D
That's it. Yeah.
A
And I really, I don't know why I became sort of interested in this subject, but I was talking to Greg Gutfeld about it a couple years ago and I kind of realized that the people who were good were able just to Wander off of the farm or the plantation or whatever you want to call it. But you have to be good and you don't have to. It's like, let's say Tucker Carlson. You probably don't agree with Tucker Carlson, but he's good at what he does. And so he can leave and he can go be rich outside of Fox or wherever else and just go be rich.
D
That's right.
A
And there's a lot of these people out there where they really. But the caveat is you gotta be good.
D
That's it.
A
And you know, Tucker Carlson doesn't have to be a great stand up comedian and Louis CK doesn't have to be a great commentator. You just have to be good at comedy. He's gotta be good at commentary. And again, he doesn't have to be right.
D
No.
A
And he doesn't have to be anything other than good. And he's gotta drift off and then you can do it.
D
It's a big world and there's a lot of kinds of people. And this thing that people start to say, it's why I don't get interested in it. When people say everyone's mad, that kind of. They always use this. Everyone. It's really not that many people.
A
Right.
D
It's not everyone. It's not even most people.
A
Right.
D
It's not even a lot of people. They're not even themselves. Like, it's a weird people talking in their sleep.
A
Most people don't even know.
D
They don't know anything about any of it.
A
People, they just go, I don't know.
D
They don't know what the fuck you're talking about.
A
Who's the vice president? That's right. I don't know.
D
So if a, if you're rejected by a certain facet of society, there's other people and you have a right to seek support elsewhere. And if other people have a right to hear you, if you have a way to do that, that's great. Some people don't. I mean, the thing about standup is it's got a pretty deep bench system, you know, So I was able to go back to work in comedy clubs. Comedy clubs are just like. If you can sell out a comedy club, they will hire you. They don't. They're not, they're not accountable to the greater culture. They're just in Dayton, Ohio's comedy fans.
A
Yeah, comedy clubs are sort of very brass tacks. They're like, we will give you 80, 90% of the door.
D
Yep. And that's a lot. We sell a lot of Money. That's a lot of money still.
A
Yes. We sell food and we sell drinks, and we're gonna be the world's worst, most expensive restaurant. If you can fill this restaurant for us twice a night. And once on Thursday and once on Sunday.
D
Exactly.
A
And it's a very, you know, there's no third party involved. There's nobody talking economic theory. There's no anything. It's just, you put these fannies in these seats, and we'll give you most everything they paid to come in here, and then you can walk out with a bundle of cash.
D
A lot. Yeah.
A
And they can be completely happy.
D
That's right.
A
And want you back nine months later because you filled their restaurant. And people. People can go, you made $47,000 for one week. Yeah.
D
Yeah.
A
And what about the guy runs the restaurant or the cook or the chef or the. The. The guy's busting the table. So I go, they're all happy. Yeah. Everyone's happy.
D
Well, you carry economy with you, you know.
A
Right.
D
Everybody's flush. Everybody's getting.
A
There's more tips. There's more. You know, there's a vert. And they go, but do you really need to get paid more than a school teacher makes in a year? And it's like, I. I. Yes, according to the club, I do.
D
That's right.
A
And everyone's happy. And we can do this. And there's nothing. Judd Apatow or Hollywood or anything, they can't get in between this relationship. And the club owner wants a filled restaurant.
D
That's right.
A
And if you're gonna fill that restaurant, he's not that interested in taking a deep dive into what people are saying about you on the Internet, especially when.
D
It'S extremely rare to just be able to deliver a decent headlining set in a comedy club that's like, there's only ever a few people who can even just do the basic job. I mean, let alone filling the place.
A
Up of an hour's worth an hour.
D
Of, like, solid, good comedy. And that's. I mean, that's why you have the demand, usually. But it's also, you know, I love clubs because that's where great comedy really comes from. And there's. There's, you know, before you get to fill in the seats, you're. You're. They depend on you because you can really make their customers happy and keep them coming.
A
Yeah.
D
You know, like the early stages of headlining, where you're getting, like, $3,000 or 2,500 for a whole week of work, and you don't get paid. You don't get any of the gate. You're just getting a salary.
A
Right.
D
But you're good, you're strong. And people leave happy.
A
Right?
D
That's. It is such a basic. I remember there was a guy in Milwaukee, it was the Comedy Cafe, and it was run by a guy named J.D. he was a Samoan. He was a huge guy. And he used to. Is the kind of guy who put a gun on the desk when he was paying you. Like, he'd take a gun out and just put it there. Just. I don't know what he thinks is gonna happen, but he puts a gun. But anyway, he was a real tough guy. And I was sitting. I wasn't famous then. I was headlining, but I was sitting by the door. Cause I liked watching the audience before they knew who I was. I like looking at the audience.
A
You could stand there. They didn't recognize.
D
They didn't recognize me.
A
Right.
D
So these people were. There was a nice group of like eight older people. And he was looking at them. And he walked up and he said, hey, folks, what made you come in tonight? And they said, well, we. We saw Jeff Dunham here. And so we liked. We had a good time. And he said, do you know this guy Louie? Do you know who he is? And they go, no, no, we never heard of him. And he goes, yeah, he's a. It's a tough act. It's a tough act.
A
And they're like, oh.
D
And he goes, listen, I don't want you to have a bad time. And he gave them. He said, I'm going to send you to a steakhouse that my partner owns. Really free steaks. And you come here another night. He was turning people away because he knew if they saw me, they'd never come back.
A
Especially if Jeff Dunham. Yeah, if that was their sensibility.
D
Right, exactly. That's how the best comedy clubs are like that. They prune their audience. They don't. Yeah.
A
That's why no one's in the club when I perform. Goddamn owner shooing everyone away. Cause Dunham was there four years earlier. Finally an answer.
D
Now you know.
A
Now I know.
D
Now you know.
A
Yeah, I agree. It's a great. I don't know. There's something very old about that relationship, you know, it's almost a bartering kind of pelts for beads or something, you know, it's like, I do this.
D
That's right.
A
Then you do that.
D
Yeah.
A
And they. And it's like they come into the green room and they go, are you hungry? Would you like, something to drink. What else do you need so that you can feel good about this? You know, so that you can come back. Because you put these people in these seats.
D
Yeah. And you're looking right at the people and they're eating nachos and they're laughing and I love that. This tour I'm on now started mostly in clubs, in clubs for like a few months because I wanted to really get. Because I took a year and a half off and I wanted to get really, you know, get the fastball back. And I miss the clubs because I'm in theaters now. I was at the Dolby last night. It's 3,300 people. And it's fun to work a big crowd, but stand up in a comedy club, it's really where it belongs. Like, in the end, it's really the best form of it. To me, for me.
A
No, I get it. You know, I think. I think the diversity is kind of fun. Like when people say not in the crowd, I play to an all white crowd. But what I'm saying is it's like, people go, well, you like Mexican food or you like Thai food? And I was like, well, what did I eat last? You know what I mean? Cause if I had Thai food two nights in a row, I'm dying for some Mexican. And then we'll go the other way. And I played a lot of theaters and played a lot of clubby clubs. And I was in Santa Barbara the other night, just third floor folding chairs. You know, the stage was the size of a piece of plywood. You know, like, it's kind of rickety. You could feel it moving and stuff. But it was kind of fun. And the bar was hopping and people were kind of packed in and it was like, you know, a little dicey, but cool, but fun. And then the next night I was at this, like, amphitheater and. And it was wide open and people brought blankets and stuff and were sitting on benches, and it was ampa, you know, and there's like a lake behind me and stuff. And I was like, which one's better? And then I realized it's both.
D
I agree with you.
A
It's going from this to that and then back to this. If you were stuck in that club the whole time, you'd lose it at a certain point. But you don't want to be in the amphitheater either. It's fun going from the low ceiling, little smoky, whatever, to the big theater with the big balcony.
D
For sure. That's a deep spectrum too, because, like, on this Tour. I was in Scranton, Pennsylvania. It was the ballroom of a Holiday Inn, and it was up against the. Like, the freeway was touching the building, like, literally. And there was a huge water stain behind the stage. Just. They had terrible. And you could smell water damage. Yeah, yeah.
A
Like mildew.
D
Yeah. And like you said, the stage had been put there that day, and it was a shit show. But the crowd, the people just came. People from Scranton. You know, when you see couples, you're like, they haven't been out together in a long time. Like, the way they're dressed. They've been at home like, every night for maybe a few years.
A
Right.
D
And when you see those people in a place like that having a good time, it feels great.
A
I agree.
D
There's that, and then there's like the Columbus Funny Bone places that are like, really well run. Omaha's Funny Bone Clubs that are just so. They got. They're so well greased and well set up. And that's good.
A
Yeah, yeah.
D
And yes, some theaters are. There's some theaters. The Beacon in New York, I love. It's one of my favorite places to do stand up, by far. There's a lot of places that are great.
A
For me, it's when you go to the Moore Theater in Seattle and you go, oh, that's where Eddie Vedder was hanging off the thing.
D
Yeah, that's kind of cool.
A
I was. Where was I when that. I remember watching that video with my roommates, you know? Or you go to the Pabst Theater in Milwaukee and they have the picture. Oh, from Spinal Tap. This is where they did the Spinal Tap thing. And then that makes. That's like another layer of cool because you think, where the fuck was I when this was coming out?
D
The Ryman in Nashville. Harry Houdini played.
A
Oh, right, right.
D
Standing on the same spot as Harry Houdini. That's really something.
A
Yeah. And then stained glass and pews and. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so, like, there's the rhyming and then there's this little Soul Joel's, you know, and like these little places, you know, and you're like, which is better? And the answer is. Is all of them.
D
Yes, it's true. It's true. I remember playing Soul Joels during the Pandemic. They had outdoor shows. Oh, right by the train tracks.
A
Yeah.
D
So you'd be on stage and a huge freight train would just come, like, right behind you, and people with blankets and they brought liquor. It was great.
A
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A
So the process, I'm always interested, like do you sit down and write every day? Then there's the write on stage people. I don't really have much of a process other than shit. I see something, I go, oh, that's. Oh, what's that? And then I write it. Write it down. Yeah, but what do you, what do you write it down?
D
Do you write your joke out?
A
No.
D
No.
A
Yeah. No. I always feel like you should feel the joke. Like I don't sound pie in the sky. What I'm saying is if someone writes out a script and then they hand it to you and they go, you play a cop on the edge and you go, which one am I? Am I Frank or Steve? Okay, but it has nothing to do with me. But I think a good joke, that's your Joke, you know, it's yours. You know what I mean? That's your idea.
D
That's right.
A
And beats are great, but why do you need to give yourself the dialogue? I mean, it'd be like me saying, ask me why my ex wife was such a bitch and me going, I don't know, where's the script? Like, I go, oh, sit down, here it comes. You know, buckle up. Like, I wouldn't take. It's in me.
D
That's right. That's the way.
A
That's the way I sort of.
D
Yeah. It's also a spoken word thing and.
A
It'S supposed to be conversational. That's supposed to be.
D
I've never written jokes, like.
A
Yeah. For writing them out.
D
Never written. I've never spent time writing. Right.
A
You. You have this idea.
D
I have it. I'm walking around in my life, right. And I have a thought, or I'm in a conversation with somebody and I go, I just learned to recognize there's a bit in this, right. If there's a thought I've been having for a long time, that's not funny. But I have it a lot. I usually recognize I should bring that. I just try that and then I bring it to the stage and I go, and I just open up. I just say, here's this idea. And then I see what happens. And first few times, it sometimes gets. Nothing gets silenced. But I just have an instinct. This is worth, you know, and the show will be okay because I'm gonna.
A
Do something right after other good stuff.
D
Yeah. But. But I just try stuff and see what happens if I say it. But I have to be in front of a crowd to really understand what's funny about it, because they're the instrument. It's. It's. The audience is like your horn, you know, it's like if you play trumpet, that's your trumpet is the audience. So, like, trying to think about trumpet playing doesn't really.
A
Right.
D
You know, planning it ahead of time doesn't mean anything. You got to put your lips on it. You got it. You got to blow. You got to get into it.
A
I was just talking to someone about this yesterday, right? I went, you know, this is an idea. And I've always had. I've had this idea for a million years, but I've never gotten it to the pavement, you know, Like, I never got it to the rear wheels. It's always just idling up front, you know, I'm not turning, I'm not getting. It's one thing to have a 500 horsepower engine. But at some point you gotta turn. Yeah. Get to the wheels. You know what I mean? Always sort of had this thing, and there are a lot of those ideas where you go, I really like this idea, and I think it's funny. I think there's a lot here, but I don't know really what the start of it is. And I don't want to really just go out there and just kind of throw up on the audience.
D
Right.
A
Just go, you know, man, anyone who's married, come on. You know, Like, I feel like I want to start with something more, but I know that feeling.
D
Yeah.
A
Like, there's some jokes.
D
Yeah.
A
They're just like, jokes. Like a little joke right there.
D
Yeah, yeah. There's many different. Like, those are. There are bits that I just think of fully formed. I just go, boom. I was with a friend of mine and I said. Because we were in. We were in the woods somewhere, you know, out in the country, and I looked at my phone and I said, I only have one bar, and it's a gay bar, right? So I was like, done, Right, Done. And with a joke like that, I just say. First time I do it, I just say it on stage. I was in the country. I had my phone. Only had one bar. It was a gay bar. But now that's inside of a whole bit about. About nature and about city and country. And so I tend to come up with little jokes, but they find their way into stories or they find their way into bigger themes, Right. And then they work better because you're not lean.
A
You're not.
D
You're not saying, I had. If my phone had one bar and it's a gay bar.
A
Hey, right?
D
You go. You just throw it away, right? And it's a gay bar. But anyway, you know what I mean? Like, there's all these little things that were just jokes on their own. You put. You stick them into bigger things, and they feel like they were just thoughts on the fly.
A
Yeah.
D
But they were, like, their own thing. But then other stuff that's more about, like, researching an area that I really have to just try. And most of the bits I've done that have become, like, big bits, like the people have loved or that have been really successful or that kill every night. A lot of them started with silence. A lot of them started with. Uncomfortable with people not wanting to hear it. And if I just keep trying it and keep. I don't mind if I'm uncomfortable with an audience. I don't mind if they're uncomfortable. Like, I don't mind that feeling.
A
Yeah.
D
I actually think there's potential in it when you make them uncomfortable. There's a bunch of new places you can go from that feeling. So I don't mind it. And that gives me the power to try stuff again and again.
A
But you probably didn't feel that way 25 or 30 years ago, right?
D
No, it took me a long time.
A
To get that right.
D
I mean, that's. I'm completely there now. Like, I really do. I find it equally interesting if I say something and they're like, oh, yeah, all right, we just found something.
A
Yeah.
D
As long as I get them to something. The idea is get them to something they like. I only fuck around like this without knowing where I'm going. When I'm at, like, the comedy seller and I'm doing 20 minutes, it's not my name on the. I didn't bring the people in for. They didn't pay to see me if you didn't pay to see me. And I'm at a showcase club, like the comedy seller. I'll do whatever I want. I'll just try stuff. Like half the set won't work.
A
Right.
D
Because they'll see other comedians and. And I'll make them laugh during the set.
A
Right.
D
But by the time I get to a club, I've got a pretty. I've got at least somewhat worked out.
A
By the time you're headline, I'm the headliner.
D
You paid because you wanted to see me.
A
Yes.
D
Then. Now I'm responsible. So the show, I'll still push out the edges a little, but. But, yeah, writing. I don't devote time to it. The thing I do when I'm getting ready for it, when I'm starting to build a show, I listen to old shows. That's the process. That's the actual work is I tape every show I do, and I listen to it and take notes about innovations. Cause I'll forget. I'll go, you change this. And then I'll start to see how things come together. So after. It's a debriefing kind of thing.
A
Do you have a sort of set list like a band would have if you're going out there?
D
Only in the early parts of the set. I actually, you know, like, I play with the order for a long time, but after a while, once I know the bits really well, I just. I'm up, I change. Like, last night's show was completely different in some ways than the night before.
A
In terms of the order and how much. I don't know if you Think this way. I think this way on stage all the time. I go, well, here's one they're gonna like, but I'm kind of bored.
D
Absolutely.
A
And then there's this other one that I don't fully have worked out, but it's more interesting to me. This is all in a two second span while I'm taking a sip of water. And then I go, but they paid. Shouldn't you give them the one they're gonna like more than the one you're fucking around with, but you're bored with the one they're gonna like? Cause they're gonna like it. Cause you've done it a bunch and you got it down. So where do we land here?
D
Well, some bits are definitely for them because I get really sick of them and it's my job and.
A
Right.
D
They don't. They weren't there the night before. They didn't, you know.
A
Right.
D
So yeah, I just stick it, you know, stick it out. Make those bits, make them do them like I love them.
A
Right.
D
And that's actually an important part of doing it. Right. Is not as remembering this audience is. That's their first. They have, you know what I mean? To them. It's the first show you ever did.
A
Sure.
D
And you got to give it to them that good. And that's kind of like acting. But. But this is. There's a vibe you get from doing something that they don't love, that they. For me, my audience likes it, Right. So if I do something that's kind of fucked up or just like, not like a broken bit.
A
Yeah.
D
And then I look at him and I go, I don't know, I liked it. You know, there's always a bunch of people that laugh. It's a different sound, that laugh. You fuck it, you don't give a shit, do you? They like to know that I'm doing some of it for me. That I'm doing some of it.
A
You know, you can, by the way, if you just go, look, here's a joke no one wants me to do. And oh, I'm gonna start yelling, do it, do it. You can do it. Yeah, you can. But I did it last night, a show which is, I have a bit that Jay Moore said never to do on stage. And then I just go, look, here's this bit that Jay Moore says to never do on stage. He made me promise I would never do this on stage. And everyone goes, do it, do it. And now it's us against Jay Moore. Now they're sort of in. It's a little. It's a little cheap, but it definitely works. It works.
D
I mean, I think it's like when you know somebody who's in a bad marriage and they tell you all the shit that they're suffering about and you ask them, well, have you said it? Have you told her this? It's like, never. I could never do that.
A
Right.
D
Everybody I've known that's in a struggling marriage. The thing that you think if I say this, it's over, you should say it right away.
A
Right.
D
You need to say it because it'll fester. Yeah. Also, it's the truth of your marriage.
A
Yeah.
D
It's the thing you cannot say is the first thing. It's the only thing you should be saying. Everything else is useless. So that I have that experience with the audience, if there's something where I'm like, this is the last thing I should be saying to these people.
A
Right.
D
It's to me. That's the first thing. Because there's not just cause I'm a bad guy or something, because. No, there's something that they need to hear this. There's something here that's gonna settle. You know, if you're in a marriage and you're not saying something and that's why it's staying together, you gotta say it. Cause you shouldn't be together. Also, you might find out that it might fix.
A
Might fix it, you know? Your candor isn't always applauded in relationships.
D
No, not always applauded is one thing, but like, like reality, I. I prefer reality to anything else, you know?
A
Is it tough with relationships, like when you're wired that way?
D
I mean, sometimes, but some of them, Some relationships are based on a falsehood and you just kind of ride the bowl for as long as you can and then it falls apart, Right? Yeah, I just don't want to do that anymore. Well, to me it's like, just say how you feel. Yeah. You know, and if they. And if they accept it, then you should be together, and if they don't, then you shouldn't. Or maybe there's something in between, you know? But talk about it. Talk about it.
A
Well, all right. So you can counsel me.
D
Okay.
A
I told my ex wife once, I just go. I told her she was a low character person and she said, what the fuck's that mean? Like, why would you say that?
D
Yeah.
A
And I said, because I've asked you to help me do a whole bunch of stuff and you never do it. And I told you I'm now suffering because I Have to do this, that, and the other. And a high character person would have said, I'll jump in and help out, but you don't do it. So you're a low character person. And she said, how can you say that? I said, well, because I, that's how I feel. I live with you and I watch how you act. And I've asked you for help a thousand times. You've never helped me. But here's the good news. You can be a high character person. You just have to come in and do things while I'm on the road or whatever that thing is. It's not like it's a sentence, not a life sentence. You can be a high character person. You can change that. But she rejected the premise and it turned out to be an issue.
D
Sure.
A
Now my thing is, like, it's definitely the truth, but it's also cruel to say to a person. Also, it's accurate. I mean, if you had a roommate and you just did all the cooking and all the cleaning and they watched TV and you paid their share of the rent and stuff, like, at some point you'd say, hey, Brett, you need to get up and do some stuff around here. And if they never did, at some point, it would be within your rights to say to that person, you're a low character person because you watch me pushed a vacuum by your feet while you're eating the lasagna I made you. And you don't even pay for cable.
D
Yeah.
A
So is the truth always good?
D
I mean, that's a lot to unpack. But I think that, I think that everything you said to her was fair, but the characterization is. That's, that's you. You gotta own that. Like, telling somebody they're a low character person is an insult. And it is. But everything else you said is totally fair. You don't do this. You don't, you know, that's. And I need this. Like, here's what would be a version that I think would be more fair.
A
I'm gonna write this down.
D
These are the things you don't do. And here's the things. And I need those things done to want to be with somebody. So I, I, I need, I need you to change these things or else I want out. Because these things suck for me. This sucks for me that you don't do this. It really bothers me that you don't do this. I hate that you don't do these.
A
Things, but if you had this, that.
D
Makes me feel resentful.
A
If you.
D
And I think it's unfair that you don't do these things.
A
Well, keep in mind the low character discussion came a long time after all the requests came.
D
Well, the. But. But did you start. There's requesting, but then there's also saying, I hate that you don't do this stuff. Did you start there? If you say it sucks that you don't do it, you should do it. I think you should do it. I need you to do it.
A
I would say I'm on my way out. It's like, it's not fair to put all this on my plate.
D
Totally valid.
A
And I'm working twice as hard as I should work. And I need your help. I would say I need your help a lot.
D
Yeah. So I don't know. I mean, everything's. Bets are off with marriages. Cause if you're with that person every day and you're sleeping with them, I don't know. Maybe it was a way of shaking her. And how did it go?
A
Divorce.
D
You got out.
A
Yeah.
D
So that was the right thing to say then. That's how you started to feel. I'm starting to feel like you're just not a good person.
A
Yeah.
D
I don't like this. I don't like you anymore. That's fair.
A
Yeah.
D
Well, you're not good is like extension of morality or opinion. But I don't like you now cause of this. And I want out. Everybody gets to say that. Everybody.
A
I think the difference between men and women is women feel like, oh, you're calling me a bad person. And what I'm saying is, no, you're just a person who doesn't do these things that I need you to do. Which kind of de facto can make you bad to me. Not with the kids and not with the neighbors. You know what I mean? So I think they look at a bad person as just a bad person. This is more compared between you and me.
D
This sucks.
A
Right.
D
That's fair. I think you put it your own way. Because you talk the way you talk.
A
Yeah.
D
And anybody that knows you by the way you say that, that's how you communicate. She gets her option, right. I don't want to be with somebody who talks to me like that. All right, get out.
A
Yeah.
D
And you're saying, I don't want to be somebody who won't do these things. And she goes, all right, get out. Everybody gets to. But you should make a fair and honest and accurate accounting of who you are and what you need and don't need. And sometimes those can be negotiated. You can go like, well, I hate that. Well, I'm. I'm gonna not stop doing it. So leave. Well, I don't want you to leave. So let's talk about. Maybe there's an in between.
A
So are. You're not married, right?
D
I'm not. I was married once.
A
Is that enough?
D
Yeah, I guess. I don't know. I don't know. I have a girlfriend now and Happy.
A
And that's good.
D
Yeah, yeah, it's good.
A
Been together for a while.
D
Since the spring.
A
Does she understand sort of your foibles?
D
Yeah, I think she loves picadillos.
A
I mean, just sort of who you are, you know? You know what I mean? Because it's not.
D
Yeah.
A
You know, for everyone.
D
No, of course. Nobody. Thank God. Nobody's for everybody. No, we hit it off. We're good. We had similar lives and we're.
A
She does comedy.
D
No, no, no, I don't mean that way. I mean, we're the same age and we've been through similar things, and we, you know, we hit it. We get along great.
A
But that's part of the. Getting the older part that we talked about at the beginning of the show, where you just can kind of relax a little bit.
D
That's the thing you start. Because I think people are results oriented, like, I need to get married, or like, I need to stay in this marriage. Like, I was in a relationship once where we went to a counselor and she said, to be clear, I don't. My job is not to keep you together. That's not my job.
A
Right.
D
My job is to have you understand each other so you can make a good and healthy decision about what you should be doing, whether you should be together or not. Or you could find good terms to get along. But I'm not trying to keep the couple going.
A
Right.
D
And my girlfriend at the time was like, I'm out of this.
A
Really.
D
She wouldn't do it because she wanted to keep the relationship. And that's not a healthy thing.
A
Right.
D
It should be like, you know, it's like a job interview. You're trying to get a job, but really you should be fine. You should just say, here's who I am, and then you'll find out if you belong there. You find out, because if you get a job based on convincing them, you're gonna be stuck in a place you hate, and you're gonna have to be hiding who you really are all the time. So relationships are like that, too. You can win somebody over, but now you're stuck doing whatever you want them over for the rest of your life.
B
Yeah.
A
You end up being like Ben Affleck, smoking a cigarette in the alley next to the house. And JLo's in there doing Pilates and you're just like nipping off a flask and smoking a cigarette. The dog run. You know, because she doesn't want to. You don't want her to know who you are.
D
That's right. But if you. If you're single and you're smoking a cigarette by. In an alley and you meet another girl having a cigarette or. Or that just likes guys like that, then you're good.
A
Go to the alley.
D
Go to the alley. Meet someone there.
A
Find your soulmate in the alley. That's it. So the movie.
D
Yeah.
A
I'm fascinated by this, you know. So I made a few features and it's hard to do. It's a lot of work.
D
I made one after that. I made one with my friend Joe List called fourth of July.
A
Oh, Joe List. Oh, that's right. Sure.
D
It's on my website.
A
Yeah, Joe's a cool guy and I remember talking to him about this maybe Legion of Skanks I was doing in New York. So, I mean, it's a lot going up into the movie. There's a lot in writing the script. It's a crazy improbable. Everything's gotta come together. It's very difficult. And it's the most work you'll do in a month, you know, when you shoot. And now it's all. And then editing its own thing and music and clearance and scoring and blah, blah, blah, color correction, sound correction, you know, so much and it's there. Why not put it out there Someday maybe.
D
I'm in no hurry and I'm enjoying right now. I'm in the moment with the work I'm doing. I love the standup and the book. I love writing novels. I didn't know I would love that as much. Yeah, but the thing you get from a movie of like making something really vivid that people see. I get the same thing from writing fiction and it's like a. It fascinates me too, because I don't. I've only just started in terms of novels. I've written short stories my whole life.
B
Oh, really?
D
Without doing anything with them.
A
Non comedic short stories.
D
Yeah. I mean, sometimes funny stuff happens, but they're not like comedy.
A
Right.
D
But writing a novel, a whole story like that feels like making a movie. And then when you're done writing it, it's like it's wrapped.
A
You're satiated.
D
Yeah. Because a good book has the same power as a good movie. Like it's if you really love a good book, it's the same experience. And with books you get to cast it yourself. If you're reading it, you make, you make the people's faces yourself and you hear your own version of the voice and stuff. It's like a weird form of telepathy or something. So I'm on to that now. I'm gonna do that for a while, a little stand up and writing more novels. I'm gonna try to see maybe a movie in the future.
A
But Ingram is the name of the book. Yes. It's available as we speak. It's a really interesting story and I recommend it highly. Thanks Louis CK thanks for coming in and come back anytime you like. Always enjoy the conversation.
D
Same, same.
A
We'll take a quick break. Rudy will come in and do the news right after this. Huell well, some days hit the gym, eat right, feel like a king. And then other days not so much. Yeah, too much coffee. Didn't hit the gym. And that's why I started using Huel High protein. I got a starter kit. I do it every morning. It's ready to drink. They have ready to drink bottles in Black edition powder. Ready to drink has 35 grams of protein, 27 vitamins and minerals, gluten free and no fake junk in it on days at home. Well, I go with the powder and blend that in the smoothie, make the protein. I don't even use a blender. I just do the shake. I just do the shake bottle keeps it consistent. Life gets a little chaotic. I travel. I'm actually going out on the road and I just pack some of it with me. I just make it in the road, just dump it in a water bottle in the hotel room, shake it up. Each meal costs under five bucks, which is cheaper than a lot of takeout you'd otherwise grab. And it's certainly a lot better for you. It's perfect if you're trying to build good habits, support workouts or just trying to feel a little bit more put together. It's Huel, right?
B
Dawson, if you're focusing on protein right now or just trying to feel a little more put together, this bundle really helps. Get Huels full high protein starter kit today with our exclusive offer of 20% off online with our code Adam20@huell.com Adam20 new customers only. Thank you to Huell for partnering and supporting our show.
A
Well, what if you could delay your next two mortgage payments? Imagine having that extra cash in your pocket just in Time for the new year if money's tight. Groceries, gas, bills piling up. Nope, you're not alone. Most people put that on credit cards and those rates are insane. 20, even 30%. American financing can help you use your home equity to pay off that debt. They offer rates in the low fives and salary based mortgage consultants help you restructure your loan. No upfront fees. Customers average savings is about 800 bucks a month. That's like getting a $10,000 raise without changing jobs. It's American Financing, right, Dawson?
B
Call now before it's too late. American Financing. 866-889-5154. That's 866-889-5154 or visit American Financing.net Adam. It's time to check Adam's voicemail.
A
Hey, Adam. So if your fate was to die at the hands of an animal, what animal would you want to be killed by? All right, get it on, brother.
B
You can leave us a message at 888-634-1744.
A
I guess great white would be the fastest way to go. Bear would kind of take. Take longer. Line would take longer.
B
Yeah.
E
I saw Leonardo, Leonardo DiCaprio get taken out by that bear. And that was a, that was a. Quite a. Quite an endeavor for Leo to get taken.
A
That movie drove me nuts. Any movie that with their own premise drives me nuts. He's laying there, he's going into sepsis. It's gonna go into shock.
D
He.
A
It's. It's 1814. They don't have of antibacterial soap or anything. He's just in the middle of the woods and he's a load. This is Leo Load. This ain't spry, leo. This is 210 pound, full beard Leo Lumajack. And they're gonna have to drag his ass across the tundra like, oh, it's like, well, we gotta get over this mountain range, but a storm's blowing in. Listen, if I'm out on my own, I'm probably gonna die.
E
Sure.
A
If I have to drag his fat, bloated corpse up the mountain, we're both gonna die. So just blink if you want me to put a bullet in your head. And then he blinks. Why does that make him. Why does that make Tom Whatever. Why does that make him the bad guy? He's the only pragmatic guy in the troupe.
E
Yeah. By the way, if they made this movie today and they had the chosen.
A
Tom Hardy and he blinks.
E
Blinks. Yeah.
A
So movie, you fucked up your whole premise because you've made the guy into the heavy. Except for that guy who's the only practical guy in the group, who went, I don't want to drag his fat ass over this hill. We're all going to die. But I'll ask him, and if you want me to take you out, I'll take you out now. And he blinks. So why does that make Tom Hardy the bad guy?
E
Yeah, see, this is why I love going to see movies with you. Because you always come from a different angle that everybody else would never go down.
A
You know what? I talked to tons of dumb people. Like, he didn't blink. Watch the tape. He blinks. And Tom goes, well, we'll put him out because this is 1841. He's going to die in the next 34 hours. And meanwhile, you have dragged his fat ass nine miles in three foot of snow. And then he dies.
E
Let me play the role of most people I'd watch that movie with. You know, eyes have to blink. They have to blink at some point.
A
That's true.
E
Yes. Okay, I get it. But if your life is on the line, you would figure out a way to keep your eyes open another 10 seconds. Yeah.
A
All right. So then it is the one year anniversary since I did my hotel room fireside chat about the fire.
E
Oh, sure.
A
Yeah. So it got a lot of traction. I don't know why. I don't know how the Internet works. What works? What doesn't work. We were here. I was evacuated from Malibu. I stayed at a cheap hotel in Burbank, California. The following day we woke up, remember, the fire did most of the destruction, or a lot of destruction. The second day, when everyone was there, including the fire people and the mayor and everything, and no one fucking put the fire out. They were down on the ground eating breakfast burritos down in pch. They didn't. They weren't up in the Palisades fighting the fire. They let the Palisades burn down. But anyway, that was day number two. So this is the morning of day number two. Now I wake up, I can't go back to Malibu. I have no idea, by the way, what's going on in Malibu vis a vis my dwelling. I know a lot of people have lost their house. People are doing my least favorite thing in life, and I really mean it's my least favorite thing, which is you get on the phone with someone and they go, oh, your place is definitely gone. It's gone, it's gone, it's gone. And then you hang up and then it's like, oh, man, and everyone's upset. And then 45 minutes later, well, maybe it's still there. And then you go, well, why'd you tell me he was gone? And they go, I don't know. It's like, oh, shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Just shut the fuck up. Okay? You don't know. Shut up. Why do you do that? Oh, God. Chicks love doing that. And there's a lot of dudes who love doing that, too. I think they're the same people. What do you think of this, Rudy, as a yardstick?
E
Sure.
A
To measure somebody.
E
Yes. Three feet.
A
Let me measure 36 inches. Let me just say. I don't know why I just thought about this the other day, but I think there's two kinds of people. There is, okay? There's the people who I won't speak unless I know something. I'm not gonna tell someone their house is burnt down. And then an hour later go, I guess it's still there. And then go, well, why do you listen to me? I don't know why people do that. But the shit left in the toilet person. Let's see if we can break this down. A close cousin to the person who goes to your car and then sees the scratch or the ding in the fender and goes, what happened here? I hate those. I hate them. I hate them. What happened there? Something. Something that's happened to everyone all the time, and then you make them relive their shit. Well, I went to the Home Depot and I backed into the slot because I always back into the slot and there's this guy with this gardening truck. It was like, F150. It's too close. But anyway, that guy opened his door and it just. And he's illegal, so he didn't have any insurance. I just. Fuck it, you know? You make them, like, relive. Yeah. This thing, like, it's like saying, hey, man, what's going on? Hey, tell me a bad experience you've had at the dentist. Oh, yeah. I was getting a root canal for. Oh, it was brutal. Like. Like, why we. Yes. There's a dent in the car. There's a dent. Everyone has one.
D
Yeah.
A
We don't need. I don't. It's not going to be an extravagant or exciting story, but how about this for the yardstick? There's two kinds of people. Husbands, wives, girlfriends, lovers, roommates. Males, males, females. Once in a blue moon, there's a shit in the toilet. And there's a shit in the toilet. When you walk up, come back from work, come back from out of town, but there's a shit in the toilet. And what happened with the shit in the toilet? Well, what happened with the shit in the toilet is the person flushed the toilet and walked away. And then one slid, popped back, we got a bobber, right? Or something else happened in that they were on the commode and, I don't know, the teapot started whistling or something. So they wiped their ass and they hustled out of the room. It's usually some plumbing related something where you flush, but the toilet gurgled, but you walked out and turned the TV on and then you went to bed. And then the next day, whoever comes home and then there's a shit in the toilet. Who are the people that feel deputized and feel that it's necessary to find the other person in a house and explain that they found a shit in the toilet? Because my world is, I'll flush the toilet and get on with my life. I don't need to go wake them up and go, hey, did you know? Like, no, they didn't know. And yes, shit happens. But what is that impulse to go, like, find the person, you know what I mean? That's humans at their worst. Go find this person and tell them what they did. Why? Obviously It's a mistake. 80% plumbing related something. You flushed it, some went down, one popped up. But you were already walking out of the room by then. Who are the people? Have to alert the people there was shit in the toilet.
E
Yeah. I also noticed that people leave the shit in the toilet because they get sort of hypnotized by their phones that they're staring at as they sit and then they forget about it. But we had a moment like that recently where I was at like a Christmas party and walked into the bathroom to take a leak and then noticed that somebody had left a present in the toilet. And then I looked over and I saw my buddy's friend, his phone sitting. I was like, okay, I know what happened here. He got, you know, he got up, didn't think about it because he was staring at his phone. I walked quietly into the room where everybody was, and I go, hey, by the way, dude, next time flush.
A
All right, here's my point. If it's a frequent occurrence, that's a thing. If it's once every four years, you don't have to seek out the person and wake them up or call them when they're in the middle of a meeting. Explain there's a shit in the toilet. All right, so.
E
But the reason why I bring it up is because he goes, I didn't do that. No, you did. And he goes, how do you know? And then I pulled his phone out of my pocket and I went. Cause this was sitting right next to the toilet. And he went, sorry about that. I was like, that's why I said it. Quiet. We didn't need to call you out.
A
Smoking gun. And I love the denial. All right, so I'm in the hotel room because it's the following morning. It's probably nine in the morning. The fire rages all night. Then we're going in for day two of the fire, and I cannot return to Malibu. I cannot do a podcast from this studio because the power's out in 2025 and now 2026. Last time I came here to do something, it had rained, and so the power's out. It's Los Angeles. It's 2026. Winds kick up, rains happen. Does the power need to go out when it rains? I get it. If it's revenant times, you know, whatever. But this is modern times. Can you get your fucking infrastructure together to the point where when the wind blows or the rain shuts in, my power doesn't shut off at my studio where I do my broadcast. So I was sitting in my hotel room and I had talked to a couple of my guys. The power's out. Can't go in, can't do a podcast. We were very close to just sort of saying, well, run a. Best of throwing the towel. Look, my condo's probably gone. The power's out. Maybe we don't owe everyone a podcast this morning. I've been evacuated. I think I can take this morning off. But at the last moment, I thought, you know what? Let's just give a little State of the Union and catch everyone up and let them know what's happening. So we sort of scrambled to grab a microphone and an iCam, a camera and a phone, and move a few pieces of furniture, move the table, put the chair here, and I just sat there and delivered my chat. And this is while the fires are still going on, basically the following morning after they started. And I got about three or four minutes here. I'll play it, but we'll see how many of my predictions came true. Here's what's gonna happen. The people who live in Malibu, who live in Santa Monica, who live in the Palisades, those are some of the most progressive blue voters in the. Well, in the world or in the United States, they are a bastion of blue. So what those guys did is all the people in the Palisades. I checked it out. It's about 80% blue, 80% progressive, 80% democrat. Now these pussies are all sitting around crying about Karen Bass, water pressure, how come the forest wasn't cleared of all the brush, what's happening with the infrastructure. You guys all voted for Karen Bass, the mayor of Los Angeles. You all voted for Gavin Newsom. And now you fucking get what you get now that your house is on fire. Well, now you're thinking about something else. Now you want to know what's going on, what's going on around here. You didn't give a shit about what was going on when other people's houses were on fire. But now you care. So here's what's going to happen. All these people who were deep blue Democrats are now going to have to pull a permit to rebuild. And they're going to get the 28 year old bitch from the Coastal commission telling them to go fuck off. And then they're gonna vote for Trump or whoever's Trumpian next. You see, they're gonna get turned, they're gonna get turned hard because as I've always said, live in the rent control apartment in Santa Monica. Fine, good. We know how you vote. Go deal with the city, try to pull a permit. These are gonna be thousands of homes, super wealthy people. And these people don't wanna live in van eyes. They like it where they are. They love Malibu, they love the Palisades, they love Santa Monica. There's going to be a whole bunch of rich people and they're going to go, I'm rebuilding and I want to rebuild as fast as I can. And between the part where they go in to planning commission and plan check and initially and try to pull a permit to the time the first load of lumber, the first load of two by fours is dropped off on their lot or their house formerly stood. It's going to be three years and 1,000 permits and a thousand arguments and a thousand discussions with the coastal commission, not to mention little tidbits that they didn't think about. Like Carson Daly, you want a swimming pool? Yep. Gotta be double hold. Really? Yeah, why? What if water leaches out and gets into the groundwater table? Carson Daly had to build a swimming pool like a modern day oil tanker. Had to put like a double hold. That's all right. It'll just cost 500 grand for a swimming pool like that. They're gonna be, when they start getting the regulation, they're gonna go nuts. And when they start Running into the bureaucracy and the red tape. They're gonna start going nuts and they're gonna vote for Rick Caruso next time because they wanna get. That's all Trump says is we're gonna pull back the regulations. We're gonna free people up. They're gonna find out they're gonna get bit by their own snake. They're gonna convert. I am telling you, these are the bluest people on the planet and they're gonna be fucking rip shit pissed when the city and the Coastal Commission tell them to fuck off. And by the way, I don't think the Coastal Commission is going to okay anyone rebuilding any of their houses on the coast because they say they're in the business of protecting the coast. They're in the business of getting you to leave. They will get their wish, which is no buildings. And they're gonna make it hard for everyone. And then we're going to have to restructure the whole thing because we can't have nine angry lesbians controlling everything that goes on in Malibu, the Palisades and Santa Monica. Now it's a year ago. Zero building in Malibu. There is zero construction in Malibu. You can drive up and down the coast all you want. You're not gonna see one load of lumber.
E
Yeah, I just watched CBS Sunday Morning this past week and they had a bit on the Palisades in Malibu and they did a drone shot and over it, they were talking to the woman whose house is being built and it looks. If you do a side by side.
A
From the house is being built in the Palisades.
E
In the Palisades, Yeah. Not Malibu. No, but if you do a side by side, you can definitely. It almost looks identical that not nothing has been done. The one house is being built where she was at, but other than that. And the other thing she said was, I know that this is going to happen again.
A
Yeah.
E
Shit, yeah.
A
All right, so no one's got a permit. Everyone. I told you, no one's getting a permit. Yeah, they're not in the permit department. Their business.
E
The only thing that's different now though is that that 28 year old is now 29 and even bitchier.
A
That's right. She put on a few pounds and she's angrier. All right. Yes. Picture Lena Dunham, Sisu. If you're like me, you're a sucker for good action movie. And these days with Hollywood so bloated, lazy and self important, when something actually works well, it really stands out. And that's why I was so excited to watch Sisu Road to Revenge. Oh, man. Screen rant called it the finished John Wick. And that is dead nuts on. It's a high octane revenge story about a man who goes after the people responsible for killing his family. It's fun, it's brutal. Doesn't waste your time with lectures you didn't ask for. If you're looking for a straight ahead action movie that actually delivers, this one's worth your time. You will thank me. Sisu Road to Revenge. You've seen the spots. I mean, the thing is amazing. It's available now on Prime Video, Apple TV and Fandango. Sisu Road to Revenge. Get it now on digital.
C
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A
You're welcome. All right, you got some news there, Rudy?
E
Yeah. So this has been making the rounds this morning. An Immigration and Customs Enforcement agent fatally shot a woman in a vehicle during operations in Minneapolis on Wednesday. According to the Department of Homeland Security, the victim was a US Citizen who was an observer and was watching out for our immigrant neighbors, quote unquote. Minneapolis City Council member Jason Chavez told ABC News the woman was allegedly, quote, attempting to run over our law enforcement officers when an ICE officer fatally shot her. According to DHS spokesperson. Excuse me, DHSS spokesperson Trisha McLaughlin. Now, I got a friend of mine, Chris eggert from Channel 5 News, he sent me this video of the shooting. If you guys want to go ahead and play this.
A
Yeah, we'll play it. Hold on. Oh, you know, it's going to be fun. All right, we'll watch. David, that looks. Now, she's in the silver car, the.
E
This one right here, so you can kind of see it behind that sort of beige suv.
A
Oh, computer situation. All right, let me fill a bus for a second while the computer straightens out. This is gonna be fun. And, Dawson, you got a little homework assignment. Okay, let's see if we can figure out the number of Democratic politicians. Could be the mayor of Minnesota. Minneapolis. Sorry, Minneapolis. Could be anybody in the House or the Senate. Right? Democrats. Let's hear the outrage of the male ICE officer blowing away the female citizen versus Officer Byrd and Ashley Babbitt at the Capitol. Because I guarantee there's gonna be a slight difference. Now, both of Them were male officer shoots unarmed female citizen at close ish range. The capital one is not a great argument for the cop because she's unarmed and didn't really pose a direct threat to him. And so there's probably even a better argument for the suv, because maybe the SUV could have run somebody over. Fine. But let's just say they're both equal. Let's hear the insane outrage we're gonna hear from the left about this shooting versus the zero. And that guy deserves a bronze service star. And now look, either way, it's a uniform guy shooting an unarmed woman from nine feet away. Can we all just agree, as far as shootings go, there's a lot of nuance. But this is about as apples to apples as we're gonna get. Right? Check shot, Officer dude, close by.
B
I'll start looking, but I fear you've set me to an impossible task.
A
No, it won't be impossible. You'll find all of the praise put on Officer Byrd, the capitol policeman, and then you'll find this guy should get the electric chair.
E
Yeah, you'll see it, because Mayor Fry already came out with a statement. We'll play that after we play this video.
A
All right, so where's her car?
E
Right here.
A
You see her silver suv?
E
So his first vehicle comes back.
A
She's black.
E
No. She's a white woman.
A
No, no, the car.
E
Oh, the car is like a dark plum sort of color. Yeah. So it looked black from the first time that I had seen it, but you can tell. So this is where it is.
A
Oh, that was her.
E
That was her. So she pulls out, and it makes an attempt to hit the officer, who then shoots. You can see that she veers off, hits the vehicle that is parked on the left hand side of the street.
A
Right, right. So she pulled out aggressively, but it's not like the guy was standing in front of the car. Right.
E
You know that. I'm not sure. When Chris had sent this video to me, I asked, I said, did it look like she was making an attempt to hit this officer with her vehicle? And he said yes. So I don't know if there's another angle that you can see. That one's a little tougher. Maybe this one is a better one.
A
Mm. All right. She's in the dark car.
E
Yeah.
A
Officer guy standing there. She's got the window down. Get out of the car. Right. They're telling her, get out of the car. She backs up. Get out of the car.
E
Oh, so there's a guy in front. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
A
Okay, so she's driving at the guy. All right, sorry, bitch. You got what you got. But listen, everybody. First off, what happened to chicks? I've been screaming this from the top, from the rooftops. Women have gone fucking nuts that we weaponized women. We weaponized them. Also, there's a weird kind of a practicality that women don't grow up with because they don't have rough and tumble play, which is there's that funny footage we used to. We played here a couple of times, right? I think it's like out of China or something. And Dawson remembers it, we don't have to revisit it, but there's like seven Bengal tigers all lined up on the shoreline of their zoo encampment. And like a crane, like, lands next to them. And the crane's like, hey, fuck, you want some lions? You want some tigers? And the tigers are like, they're a little, like, put off at the beginning. Like they're agitated or scared. Like, whoa, whoa. They're like, startled. And the bird's like, oh, you scared good? Yeah, you want some more? And then the tigers at some point go, wait a minute, we're tigers. We're 1400 pounds and there's seven of us. And that's one four pound bird. And then the tigers are just like, okay, fuck. Okay, we'll just. We'll just kill you. Yeah, it's such a great clip. Cause it's like the bird lands there and has no fear. And the bird can just fly away if it wants to. But now the bird is walking toward the tigers and the tigers are getting agitated. And now it pecks at the tiger. Now it can fly away, it can fly away. It can fly away, but it's not. I bet it's a female bird and it's going back toward the tigers. Now it's flapping its wings. All right, tigers, you got trouble now. Lunges at the tigers again. And at a certain point the tigers go, oh, wait, let's just destroy the bird. So then it does it a fourth time. And now it's ripped into a million pieces. And now all the tigers are doing the gang style initiation with the bird. And the bird's in a million pieces right now. But now here's my whole point. Guys grow up with a healthy fear of stuff. And other guys and bigger guys get punched and you get smacked a couple times. And you kind of learn your p's and q's and stuff. Women do not do rough and tumble play. And so women, what I've been seeing is like 40 year old women standing in front of police vans going, no, you're not going anywhere. And the van just starts running and they're going, no. And at some point they get knocked over and they lay on the ground and they scream, what's going on? And it's like, the van is £5,000. You're 190, you're not a pixie.
E
Yeah, that's after the holidays.
A
The van has at least one ton on you.
E
Sure.
A
And you're not gonna stop the van. And the van's driven by nervous dudes who are trying to get out of there and don't think you can stop the van. Women have this thing where like cops are holding a gun at them, yelling, get out of the car. And you're like, oh, fuck this. And it's like, that guy's holding a gun.
E
Yeah.
A
I tell people all the time, please stop looking at law enforcement as law enforcement. Look at them as dudes with guns who are super nervous about the environment they're in.
E
I got T boned by a dude in uptown Minneapolis about five years ago. Guy just destroyed my truck. He was doing about 50 to 60 in a residential area and just smoked me. I ended up in some lady's front yard. And there was a girl who was probably about 22, 23. She was out running that day and saw it happen. And she did not leave the scene. And every time this guy wanted to talk, and she was maybe 5 foot 4, maybe 5 foot 3, 105 pounds, and every time this kid who was 23 years old, maybe 6 2, kind of a bigger dude, every time he opened his mouth, she just got right in his face and said, you shut your fucking mouth. You don't get to talk.
A
I know women do not. Well, they don't do rough and tumble play, so they don't get the proper fear factor.
E
No, of course not. That guy could have decimated her face. One punch would have totally knocked her eyes out and she was just right in this dude's grill.
A
Dawson.
B
Yeah. I got some information for you here. As far as the Democrats who publicly praised Officer lieutenant Michael Byrd.
D
Mm.
B
Michael Byrd stated in interviews that he believed he acted in self defense and to protect members of Congress. He received support from various lawmakers and public figures. While there isn't a specific count of Democrat officials who praised Byrd, some Democrat leaders and organizers have supported police efforts during the Capitol riots. Generally, the Democratic Party has framed the events of January 6th as an attack on democracy and has often characterized law enforcement's actions as justified.
A
Yeah, but you're going to get Eric Swalwell and Nancy Pelosi. You're going to get specific quotes. AOC is going to have to go American hero. And then with this guy, they're going to call him a cold blooded killer.
B
Now, I asked AI the exact same question. I just switched the location and the date and said it's an ICE officer. As of January 7, 2026, no democratic government officials have been reported as praising the ICE officer involved in the shooting that resulted in the death of a female motorist in Minneapolis. In fact, local leaders, including Minneapolis Mayor Jacob Fry, have condemned the incident, labeling it as reckless and questioning the claim of self defense offered by federal officials.
A
All right, I got it, Austin. But you're still. I mean, that's baked in. We're just gonna be funny when the actual individual politicians do different things.
B
We could put together a list, but I think it's safe to say 95% of them.
A
No, no. Have praise. Listen, Dawson understood very clearly. It's my premise. I'm saying you're gonna have funny A's and B's.
B
Sure, yeah.
A
When you get AOC's official comment on this and you get Chuck Schumer's official comment on that. All right.
E
Speaking of Friday, did you guys find that video? This happened over the airwaves. This happened, I don't know, maybe about 45 minutes ago. This is his message to ICE.
A
Yeah, Jacob's fray. Yeah, he's awesome. It's gonna get that city right back on its feet. He's awesome. Also. Listen, let me tell you the other thing. It's very chick like behavior. Sorry. But anyone who's really dealt with it knows they start the incident and then scream, get out. Stop. I don't want this. You know, whatever. And it's like, listen, Fry, we'll play his clip. But ICE is doing a job. You don't have to go out there in your minivan and get in their face. You can do this. And then. So the whole democratic thing is somebody does their job, you get out there, you chuck a rock at the person who's doing their job. And then when that person shoots you in the leg, you claim to be a victim. All right, here we go. Better.
D
But I do have a message for.
A
Our community, for our city.
D
And I have a message for ICE to ice. Get the fuck out of Minneapolis. We do not want you here.
A
Right.
D
Your stated reason for being in this city is.
A
Oh, yeah, hold on. We got Somali. She want to open daycare centers. Now get on out Come on now, you're interrupting our business.
E
Also, did you notice the sign language lady?
A
Yeah. Did she do the fuck.
E
Did you back it up a little bit? Yeah.
A
Did she do the fuck.
E
Here we go.
A
By the way, every progressive city has the black female police chief standing back there now, which is fine.
D
To ice.
A
Get the fuck out of Minneapolis.
D
We do not want you here.
E
And then drop out, drops the bird.
A
Yeah. These fucking guys are idiots. I hope he gets into fucking trouble too, with all this whole Somali bullshit.
E
You would think he'd be. Yeah, real quick, if you ever get a chance, I'll show you this video when we're in Colorado this weekend. Speaking of animals and, you know, the way animals work and how people are so flabbergasted by it. There's a video where they smash cut all these. There's a little yippee dog in Florida who runs up to the. To the swamp and he's nipping at gators and never gets him. And then on the sixth one, finally one of them gators just goes, that's it. And just takes this little bastard right by the back of the neck and drags him into the water. And the whole family's like, no.
D
Why?
E
Well, I don't know. Maybe put your goddamn dog on a leash. When there's gators around.
A
There is. It's a real thing, which is a non. I've told people, listen, blonde ladies who want to get into the grill of large black men and slap them. They punch back, statistically more so than Jews or Asians. So I've seen so much. You go on the Internet and see 2000 hours of some blonde chick slapping some ex NFL linebacker at a club and that guy just fucking throws a straight right and knocks her out. You must have an appreciation for this. They don't grow up with this. They grow up fucking around with Barbie dolls. And we grow up wrestling and roughhousing and shooting BB guns at each other so we can figure it out. They can't now. They're all on meds. They've all been fucking weaponized. They've all been told they're fucking she Ra, Lord of the Jungle and some kind of hero. And now they're going out and getting in front of Iceman and you can hear their leaders talk. Their leaders are like, hey, Karen Bass sits there and goes, you want to come in here and mess with us, Ice? You're gonna find out, cuz we're not gonna stand. You have Maxine Waters. She's 86 and a half. She's a feeble old fucking nut job. She's Aunt Esther from Sanford and Son. And she's like, you wanna come in here, Ice? You gotta go through me first. Yeah, bitch, a good fart would take your ass out. There'd just be a wig sitting there. So shut the fuck up. You're getting people killed. So they do all the hero. You gotta come through me. You wanna come into this town? Not on my watch. You gotta come through me first. It's like the spindly lesbian mayor of Seattle's like, you're coming through me. Or I like, when Pritzker does it, you're more morbidly obese. Fat ass. We gotta go through you. That's gonna be super easy to go through. You make all these proclamations. At some point, dumb people hear it and they go, ice is in town. We're gonna take the minivan down there. You gotta go through me. And then the next thing you know, the guy's got his fucking gun drawn. And you're like, you do? Well, you gotta go through me. And next you know, you have a bullet in your neck. So knock it the fuck off. Stop talking about it. And women stay home.
E
Ask any good psychologists. And they would tell you that subconsciously, these people want this to happen to them. They want to get hurt. They want to have some. Maybe not take a bullet.
A
No, no, no. I'm sorry, but I don't think they want it to happen. They don't understand it. Like, the bird didn't understand the Bengal tigers. The bird did not want to be taken apart by the Bengal tigers. The bird didn't understand it. And he encroached. And when he saw the Bengal tigers, like, flinch, he was like, oh, now I got you. This whole thing the Middle east does, they go, oh, America, you're scared? Like, no, we're not scared. We just don't feel like fucking wasting any harpoon missiles on you this weekend. And then we fucking dust them. All right, enough of my yapping. Tomorrow, by the way, and Saturday, me and Rudy are gonna be in Colorado Springs. Looney Comedy Corner. And then Sunday, we added a second show. Sorry, Rudy, can't wait. Yeah, first show sold out. Second show at the Comedy Works is added. You can go to AdamKroll.com. what spots do you got?
E
I'll be with you in Colorado, but a big show happening January 16th. St. Cloud, Minnesota, the red carpet main stage. They very seldom have comedy shows there. It's a great music venue, but one of the best in central Minnesota. So please, January 16th, go to RudyPovichComedy.com grab a ticket.
A
Oh, so we I'm laughing thinking about something. AdamKroll.com for all the live stuff. Until next time, Adam Kroll for Rudy Pavich and Louis Chicay saying mahalo.
B
Pick up your phone and leave us a voicemail at 8. At 863-41744 the Ace Man's in Colorado all weekend. Lots of shows. Get your tickets now@adamcarolla.com.
C
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Huzzah.
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Pluto TV stream now pay never.
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You're welcome.
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Pluto TV has thousands of free movies and TV shows. This is the mindset free. This is the mantra free. This is the with movies like Joe dirt pixels and 51st date, this is awesome. And TV shows like Survivor, SpongeBob SquarePants, the Fox, Fairly Odd Parents and Ghosts, Pluto TV is always free.
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Huzzah.
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Pluto TV stream now pay never.
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You're welcome.
Episode Date: January 8, 2026
Host: Adam Carolla
Guest: Louis C.K.
Key Segment: Louis C.K. one-on-one, followed by news with Rudy Pavich
In this episode, Adam Carolla sits down for an in-depth interview with comedian Louis C.K. The conversation explores Louis’ resilience and continued relevance in comedy post-cancellation, the nature of comedy as a craft, the evolution of culture and content boundaries, Louis’ foray into novel-writing, and candid insights into relationships, autonomy in creative careers, and the mechanics of stand-up. The discussion is sharp, unfiltered, and consistently introspective, bringing honesty and humor to topics rarely addressed so openly.
The conversation maintains Adam’s trademark bluntness, quick wit, and irreverent honesty, with Louis as a wry, thoughtful counterpart. Together, their dialogue is raw, introspective, and darkly funny, tackling subjects taboo or unfiltered in typical media. Notably, they speak frankly about legacy, risk-taking, and navigating modern social pressures as entertainers.
This episode is a must-listen for anyone interested in the mechanics of comedy, the realities of “cancellation” and career pivots, and the raw, non-PC wit that has defined both Carolla and Louis C.K. This isn't just banter, but a masterclass in surviving—and thriving—by being undeniably good. It's a frank tour through showbiz, creative process, generational shifts, and the hard-won wisdom of two men who have seen, and survived, plenty.
Summary by Podcast Summarizer AI — providing richly detailed recaps so you get all the content and none of the fluff.