Lori Greiner + Kelley James (Carolla Classics)

Summary

Adam Carolla Show: Lori Greiner + Kelley James (Carolla Classics) – July 3, 2026

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Episode Overview

This classic Adam Carolla Show episode brings together memorable moments spanning two of the podcast’s earlier high-voltage interviews—one with Lori Greiner, “Queen of QVC” and Shark Tank star, and another with musician Kelley James. Joined by co-hosts Allison Rosen, Gina Grad, and Brian “Bald Bryan” Bishop, Adam leads trademark rants, candid cultural criticism, and listener call-ins, all layered with irreverent humor. The episode is a dual example of Carolla’s ability to blend celebrity interviews, everyday rants, pop-culture dissections, and improv, creating a dynamic and unpredictable listening experience.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

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1. Shark Tank, Invention Culture & American Innovation (07:23–18:59, 51:29–62:35)

• Adam’s Shark Tank Obsession: Adam lauds the authenticity of Shark Tank, emphasizing how the show strips away Hollywood artifice and focuses on “getting real” about product value. He admires that, “in a world where everything’s been invented, there’s still plenty of shit to invent.”

  • “I just love the fact that in a world where everything has been invented, there's still plenty of shit to invent.” – Adam Carolla (07:54)

• Mocking “Regional Hot”: Adam and Allison riff on the difference between “LA hot” and “regional hot,” deconstructing attractiveness and the “Checklist Hot” phenomenon.

  • “You being blond and not fat doesn’t make you de facto hot. It just makes you blond and not fat.” – Adam (10:32)

• Authenticity in Pitches: Adam singles out over-rehearsed fitness couple pitches and the challenge of balancing confidence and nervousness during televised business pitches.

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2. Lori Greiner Interview – The Anatomy of a Shark (51:29–62:35)

• Greiner’s Origin Story: Lori discusses her entry into product invention, describing a tenacious journey from her initial JCPenney deal to QVC domination.

  • “I figured out how to make it, how to market it, how to do everything from soup to nuts... and then got it out there on the market.” – Lori Greiner (52:18)

• Drop Stop Invention: Adam and Lori express shared frustration at lost items between car seats, leading to a love-fest over the Drop Stop product.

• Shark Tank Investment Philosophy:

  • Lori distinguishes herself from Kevin O’Leary, saying she prioritizes the “joint decision” of liking both product and person before investing:
    • “If I like the product and I don’t like the person... there’s no product in the world that's going to get me in bed with that person in a business.” – Lori (57:31)
  • Lori states enthusiasm alone isn't enough for investment—"you still need a ‘nine or a ten’ product.” (58:30)

• Behind the Tank: Multiple pitches are taped each day (“eight or nine entrepreneurs a day”)—the shooting schedule is grueling and un-scripted.

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3. Call-Ins & Listener Advice (29:49–50:48, 118:47–154:12)

• Accomplishment and “The Motor”: Adam and callers discuss balancing ambition with the ability to enjoy success. He likens the satisfaction of a beer post-hard day to “the salt making the sugar pop” in a cookie—a metaphor for finding pleasure through contrast and effort.

  • “The putting in a very good, long, hard work week makes that beer taste that much better on the football Sunday.” – Adam (37:11)

• Work-Life Balance & Regret: Adam admits to “squandering” the start of his adult life with manual labor and a lack of direction, now making up for lost time with relentless productivity.

• Old House Restoration: Callers bring technical questions about repairing vintage home structures, jacking up houses, epoxying rotted wood, and Adam provides hands-on, pragmatic advice.

• Dealing with “Asleep People”: Adam rails against societal laziness and inattentiveness—whether it’s failing to screw the cap on a seltzer or not paying attention at the wheel, linking it to lower living standards and missed opportunities.

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4. Pop Culture & Current Events Discussion (84:08–111:15, 197:01–218:38)

• Sony Hack, North Korea & Hollywood: The show offers a real-time reaction to the Sony hacking scandal and threats over “The Interview,” discussing Hollywood pullback, cyber security, and free speech.

  • Rob Lowe and Judd Apatow’s tweets are cited as examples of industry backlash and frustration.

• Silent Domestic Violence PSAs in the NFL: Adam critiques the NFL domestic violence campaigns for their awkwardness, especially when watching with family, suggesting these performative moves do little to change actual behavior.

• Parenting, Fertility, and Adoption: Allison shares her struggles with fertility drugs, prompting an extended philosophical riff by Adam on fate, parenting, and how “it all works out”—rarely does a couple that wants a child forever end up without one (82:16).

• Cultural Decay Rants: Adam targets societal regression—public space blight, careless drivers/pedestrians, and unsightly furniture on lawns as symptoms of general malaise.

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5. Celebrity & Expert Guest Segments

• Rick Harrison of Pawn Stars (21:03–29:32): Rick calls in to promote a trivia app, discuss world affairs, and riff on psychological operations in wartime. Offers blunt, historical takes:

  • "North Korea is just a bunch of douchebags I’m riding, okay?” – Rick Harrison (23:20)

• Kelley James: Live Music, Freestyle Rap, & Why Golf (164:10–193:04)

  • Adam discusses musical skill and the diminishing presence of technical mastery in modern pop and rap music. Kelley James then demonstrates impressive improv rap skills by building a song live from words and topics tossed at him by the panel.
  • Standout: Kelly’s Freestyle Rap on Left Turn Arrows, Marshmallow Fluff, and Meatloaf – “And all I wanna do is hang out my friends and smoke / and eat some marshmallow fluffs and some leftover meatloaf...” – Kelley James (186:29–189:46)

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6. Signature Rants, Anecdotes & Notable Quotes

• On Overzealous Fans: Adam tells a story about a pushy fan demanding a "real handshake" after a show, drawing a line on personal boundaries.

  • “Once you go past that point, that’s it. I am as accommodating as I can be. But past a certain point, that's on you.” (139:03–140:57)

• On Parenthood & Birth Ceremonies: Adam laughs about being pressured to cut the umbilical cord at his twins’ birth, despite no personal interest, poking holes in “forced meaning” rituals.

  • “If you don't have the talent, stay the home because you're wasting my time with what you call art.” – Adam (192:10)

• On Government Overreach: Adam’s recurring complaint about the “red left turn arrow” persists, symbolizing unnecessary bureaucratic control and its stifling effect on public autonomy.

  • “It's all right, everyone just drive through. It's your right. It's your right. The more of the thinking you do for us, the more we start shutting down...” (180:03–180:36)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 07:23–18:59 — Shark Tank, invention culture, and ridicule of “regional hotness”
• 21:03–29:32 — Rick Harrison of Pawn Stars: trivia, history, and world politics
• 29:49–50:48 — Listener call-ins: ambition, accomplishment, house/building questions
• 51:29–62:35 — Lori Greiner Interview: Shark Tank, product investing, Drop Stop
• 84:08–111:15 — Sony hack, Hollywood's response, domestic violence PSAs, and adoption philosophy
• 118:47–154:12 — Listener dilemmas, “asleep people” rants, strippers & bartenders as career traps
• 164:10–193:04 — Kelley James segment: TV show, live freestyle, music culture, band talk

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Notable Quotes by Timestamp

• “You being blond and not fat doesn’t make you de facto hot. It just makes you blond and not fat.” – Adam (10:32)
• “If I like the product and I don’t like the person... there’s no product in the world that’s going to get me to get in bed with that person in a business.” – Lori Greiner (57:31)
• “Putting in a very good, long, hard work week makes that beer taste that much better on the football Sunday.” – Adam (37:11)
• “In life... you have to—even though if you know you’re going to end up at C, you still have to go through B, just to say you went through B.” – Adam (70:47)
• “Once you go past that point, that's it. I am as accommodating as I can be. But past a certain point, that's on you.” – Adam (140:57)
• “If you don't have the talent, stay the home because you're wasting my time with what you call art.” – Adam (192:10)

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Memorable Moments

• Adam’s gleeful rant about tampons and sweatpants with Lori Greiner (54:11)
• Philosophizing on never being satisfied—“the motor” that drives—but also exhausts (30:40–37:24)
• Hilarious “Kelly James Live Freestyle” session, where audience and co-hosts throw him curveballs (186:29)
• Heated (and very Carolla) take on social standards, "asleep people," and the societal cost of malaise (119:45–133:24)
• Adam reflects on fan interactions, setting boundaries with hecklers and aggressive demands (137:03–141:56)

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Tone and Language

A mix of Adam’s trademark sardonic wit, raw honesty, and cultural skepticism. Conversations move at a brisk, bantering pace, with edgy but insightful breakdowns of TV, business pitches, pop culture, and daily life's absurdities. The tone is candid and comedic, but often rooted in grounded, practical wisdom.

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Ideal For: Fans of uncensored pop-cultural commentary, business/invention enthusiasts, and listeners who enjoy both comedian rants and revealing interviews with TV entrepreneurs and musicians.

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Summary Produced by Podcast Summarizer AI — July 2026

Transcript

[Adam Carolla]

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[Brian Bishop]

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[Adam Carolla]

Potential savings will vary.

[Brian Bishop]

Not available in all states. Welcome to Corolla Classics. I'm your host, superfan Giovanni.

[Adam Carolla]

This is the podcast we play the best moments, highlights and fans like the clips from all 17 years of the Adam Carolla Show. If you'd like to get access to the Adam Carolla show archives as well

[Brian Bishop]

as the Adam and doctor trailer, Drew show archives and the newer podcast Beat it out, make sure to check out

[Adam Carolla]

Adam Corolla's substack adamcarolla.substack.com sign up subscribe Listen ad free and if you'd like to request a clip, please email us. Classics Note we cannot play any material from Loveline nor from the Adam Carla Morning Show. Some of that material was played on

[Brian Bishop]

the podcast where they're doing live commentary over it.

[Adam Carolla]

If you have one of those moments in mind, we can actually play those.

[Brian Bishop]

But otherwise, if you want more information on Classic Loveline or the KLSX Adam

[Adam Carolla]

Carolla show from 2006 to 2009 that preceded the podcast, I remastered both of those shows. You can come find me on patreon.com

[Brian Bishop]

Giovanni if you have any questions or want more information, that's where I do all the work.

[Adam Carolla]

Now on to the clips.

[Brian Bishop]

Coming up first we have Adam Carlos Show 1478 Lori Griner from Shark Tank Rick Harrison, Allison Rosen, and Brian Bishop from 2014. Chronologically, this is actually Allison's last episode of the show. Check it out.

[Adam Carolla]

Hello, and welcome to plutofo. If you know the name of the movie you'd like to see, just stream it for free on Pluto tv, where all your blockbuster favorites are landing all summer long.

[Caller/Guest]

Catch. Anchorman.

[Adam Carolla]

The Legend of Ron Burgundy. Fantastic. Men in Black, one through three. That's what I'm talking about. Mean Girls.

[Lori Grenier]

Shut up.

[Adam Carolla]

Titanic. I'm the king of the world. And so much more. For showtimes, press nothing. They're free 24.

[Caller/Guest]

7.

[Gina Grad]

That is on Pluto TV.

[Adam Carolla]

Stream now. Pay never, and good day. Allison Rose.

[Allison Rosen]

Hello, Adam Carolla.

[Adam Carolla]

And Bald Brian Ugsmeanie.

[Brian Bishop]

Wanted to hear that. Timely because of all the holiday parties going on. If you're doing a holiday party, an office party, and you don't want to have to say merfuck as you avoid a DUI checkpoint, take Uber or taxi cab or some other public transportation.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, couple of things. First, a nice little note that I was sent. My son loves those challenge combat coins they're called. They're military, fire department, cops, everybody. All the heroes have the coins, and the guys give them to me after the shows, sometimes in between and things like that. And I give them to Sonny, and Sonny collects them. That's a waste of my time. Well, that factors into this. The thing that's really, really nice about the other Alison, which is Alison Bedell, who is Skip Bedell from Catch a Contractor's W. She buys things for my kids, even though they have enough shit. But she bought a display, like a glass display case.

[Allison Rosen]

She's setting the bar really high for Allisons.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, my God. Come on.

[Brian Bishop]

Allison's. Tone it down.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

It's a glass display case for the challenge coins. And I give him the Sonny. And when I come home from the road, I give him the coin that somebody inevitably gives me, and he puts it in his display case. And it's like one of those, you know, there's those moments you have with your kids that are sort of cornball moments, but you'd make fun of it if you didn't have kids. But if you do have kids, they feel good. Like, look, these are guys, these are fans. They're all over the country, sometimes the world.

[Brian Bishop]

They like when Daddy talks.

[Adam Carolla]

They like when Daddy talks. They protect the country. And they give these out of debt, and they know he gives them to you, and they do it out of respect for you and Daddy. And here you go. So Guy wrote a Note. Now, this guy sent one in. I gave it to Sonny, had him read it out loud. My kids, actually, their reading and comprehension is better than mine was when I left high school. I would say quite easily, Natalia's printing is better than mine is now. But they both read at about where I was, maybe the 11th grade. Hi, Sonny. I heard your dad's show, and I heard that you like to collect challenge coins. I like to collect them, too. Here's a coin from the fire department. I take care. P.S. i bought. It's just a waste of my time for my iPhone. Hope your dad pays up soon. It's just a waste of my time. Yeah, Sonny realizes that there's some coins coming in that aren't challenge coins off of his drop. Are you kidding me? He wants. What is V? That's right. Lance Johnson is his name, and he's from Idaho Falls, the Idaho Falls Fire Department. So thank you, Lance. And I think he wants. Somebody did tweet me that they want another sunny phone app. Phone, drop, phone, whatever the hell is that.

[Allison Rosen]

Ringtone.

[Adam Carolla]

Ringtone. Are you kidding me? I think that's.

[Brian Bishop]

Is that the one they want?

[Adam Carolla]

I think that's the one they want. So make a note of that, Gary. Are you kidding me? All right, so we got your phone calls. We got Rick Harrison from Pawn Stars calling in. We got Lori. I think it's Grineer. Is that how you say it? From Shark Tank?

[Allison Rosen]

It might be Grineer.

[Adam Carolla]

Ooh, Ooh. It is Grineer.

[Caller/Guest]

Oh.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, Grineer. Well, I'll just say you get your first drop.

[Caller/Guest]

Ready?

[Adam Carolla]

I'll just say it's Lori.

[Caller/Guest]

Grr.

[Allison Rosen]

Are you kidding me?

[Adam Carolla]

Nah, the one. The one who played at the top of the show. Oh, I say it's Lori. Grr. Motherfucker. Well, then we just went online and saw Queen Latifah do it, right? Yeah, she said Grineer. Oh, she said Grineer.

[Caller/Guest]

Mm.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, well, then I screwed that one up.

[Allison Rosen]

That's royalty talking.

[Adam Carolla]

I know. Queen Latifah.

[Brian Bishop]

Who are we to defy the queen?

[Adam Carolla]

All right, so she's from Shark Tank, which I love. I don't know if you guys watch this show, but it's just there's something. So in a world where everything is cooked, this can't be cooked. It's just everyone vying for this thing, everyone being incredibly realistic about what your product or your service is worth. And I just love the fact that in a world where everything has been invented, there's still plenty of shit to invent.

[Allison Rosen]

Now, do you tend to Let me rephrase my question. How do you feel about the people who are pitching this stuff? Because I haven't seen the show a ton, but when I do watch it, I tend to find myself somewhat mocking them a little bit.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I'll tell you that my favorite one is, well, look, these people are not. They're not on TV on a regular basis, you know, so you have to understand, because you must know you're going to be on this show four months in advance, maybe more, and you know that you're gonna be standing out there on TV and this, you know, spotlight hitting in the face, and this is not your thing. So what people do is they get their rap down.

[Allison Rosen]

Maybe that's what I'm reacting to.

[Adam Carolla]

That's what you're reacting to, right?

[Allison Rosen]

The nerves and the eagerness, which should be charming.

[Adam Carolla]

It's charming until your first pube comes out and then it becomes super obnoxious. It's really funny when kids are nervous and a little too eager and whatever it is. But then somehow puberty kicks in and it's a fucking disaster at that point. Now, the worst combination, there's two combinations. There's the husband, wife, fitness team.

[Allison Rosen]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

Where his posture's a little too good and he comes up there and he's talking about the ab pony. And he goes, I used to be a couch potato until. And then she jumps in and finishes his thought. And you can tell they've been working on this. Every car ride they've ever taken, they've just been doing the ab pony back and forth. And wouldn't it be cool if you finished what I'm saying? So get up. So get off your high horse and onto the ad pony. And they say it simultaneously and they point, you know, and then you go, oh, God, no. What you want is a sort of conversation, casual, whatever. But Bill Clinton's not hawking anything. You know what I mean?

[Allison Rosen]

What do you want? His nerves of steel.

[Adam Carolla]

You want him up there just kind of. Or Bill Maher or any scrolling and shooting the shit. Person like myself, someone who's been on stage with a mic in their hand for a while, who can get up there, have the beats down and be conversational, not so locked into it that they can't add a little improv or what have you. So the worst is the couple, the workout couple. And then the second one are the hot chicks who. They're kind of hot for their town, but they're not really LA hot.

[Allison Rosen]

It's that regional hot.

[Adam Carolla]

Regional hot. As I've said many times, you being blond and not fat doesn't make you de facto hot. It just makes you blonde and not fat. It's hot crossing the street if it's at night and I've had a couple of beers, but it's not. Does not make you a model. See what I'm saying? And if you're from whatever small town you're from and you're blonde and you're not fat, you're mistaken.

[Allison Rosen]

They won their pageants.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. You're mistaken for hot. And then you come out here.

[Brian Bishop]

I really wanted to get checklist hot going because Checklist hot was. Yep. Skinny, yeah. Blonde, yeah. It's all the blue eyes, whatever. But it doesn't come together. It's like you check all the boxes. It doesn't come together as hot. You would never classify.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I've always said, obviously it never got going. No.

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[Adam Carolla]

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[Adam Carolla]

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[Brian Bishop]

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[Adam Carolla]

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[Adam Carolla]

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[Gina Grad]

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[Brian Bishop]

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[Gina Grad]

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[Adam Carolla]

Pickup fees may apply. There's a lot of. There's a lot of. By the way, who are you, fucking Hitler? Come on, let's get this going. Blue eyes HQs.

[Brian Bishop]

That's right.

[Adam Carolla]

Check, check and check.

[Allison Rosen]

Still not hot enough for you?

[Caller/Guest]

That's right.

[Adam Carolla]

No. I've always we should come up. People have a big problem with this. Guys. There's a lot of debate with guys in this, but I always say there's a kind of a hot. That is a de facto hot. That makes you hot just because nothing's wrong with you. But that doesn't make you hot. So it's like Britney Spears is hot because there's nothing wrong with her. I mean, when she's in shape.

[Allison Rosen]

Absence of flaws.

[Adam Carolla]

Absence of flaws. But I don't find her pretty and I don't find her super attractive. I don't have that feeling to her like, I don't know, Jessica Biel or something or. I'm trying to think of actors where.

[Allison Rosen]

Sofia Vergara.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, they're not.

[Caller/Guest]

They're.

[Adam Carolla]

They're different looking and they're not quite. Whatever, but they're not beautiful.

[Caller/Guest]

There's just.

[Adam Carolla]

Britney Spears is just, you know, good skin, good veneers on the teeth, good hair person. Good personal workout person.

[Allison Rosen]

Symmetrical enough?

[Adam Carolla]

Symmetrical enough. Not fat, nice boob job or whatever.

[Brian Bishop]

Paris Hilton was probably the perfect example of this. Right? Well, Paris Hilton, because she was skinny

[Adam Carolla]

and blonde, she's got some character, something going on. Oh, yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

Okay.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't say that you should love it, but it's not totally traditional.

[Brian Bishop]

Okay?

[Adam Carolla]

Now Britney Spears is just a blank.

[Allison Rosen]

You just got kicked out of Bryant's Nazi group.

[Brian Bishop]

Good luck applying. You can apply to get back in.

[Adam Carolla]

Good luck finding someone to bring bundt cake for Wednesday's meeting.

[Caller/Guest]

Shit.

[Brian Bishop]

Should have thought of that.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right. So there's a. There's hot because there's nothing wrong with you. I think we can come up with who else is hot because nothing wrong. Britney Spears is that person for me. There's no character. There's nothing interesting.

[Allison Rosen]

Catalog models.

[Adam Carolla]

Right?

[Allison Rosen]

Most people who would be modeling in a catalog are hot because there's nothing wrong with them versus a movie star who is hot and interesting to look at. And there is something, like you're saying, slightly unconventional about their.

[Adam Carolla]

It can be a little asymmetry sometimes.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, a little asymmetry.

[Gina Grad]

Alpha.

[Adam Carolla]

Even the catalogs. Even the catalogs.

[Brian Bishop]

Not Picasso esque.

[Adam Carolla]

Even the catalog girls can be. Are now hot because they've went to diversity. See, they've got smart. So it's not just the cookie cutter blondes anymore and they've now become hot. But yeah, go ahead.

[Brian Bishop]

A lot of those 80s Kelly lynch jumps to mind for me. Alex, I never really saw what made her gorgeous, but she was every. You check every box. You know, they made it on the pretty scale.

[Adam Carolla]

So the hot for their region blonde who comes in there and she has something that's born of her own necessity, which is like, you know when you go out and you know when you're drinking and you're with your friends and you have nowhere to put your. Whatever. And now I have this. Now it's a garter. But you can also put your cell phone in it because you're always. You don't know where to put your cell phone in it. Yeah, whatever it is. She has her thing and she has her rap all worked out and no one ever really says no to her, especially when half of them are guys. Right. So she does her I'm hot sort of sing songy rap about the thing. And that one I enjoy as well. I love that.

[Brian Bishop]

It's a little bit educational too. Like you could watch it and learn a lot about negotiation. Like literally how things get negotiated, multimillion dollar deals maybe in everyone's case, but just how people negotiate.

[Adam Carolla]

I love that. I love.

[Brian Bishop]

It's a big thing in life. I don't think a lot of people have. You know, you're sort of thrown into it as an adult.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, you know, I've always said, because I've been in this position quite a few times in my life, which is it's not what you know or what you think or what you know about yourself. It's what the other person thinks or knows about you. So when, say first, you know, when I was coming on doing radio, I knew what I could do, but I also knew they only knew me as Mr. Burcham. And I knew I could do a great job on Loveline, but I knew they didn't know that. But I knew that after a couple years, they knew that.

[Brian Bishop]

But you pre knew it.

[Adam Carolla]

I pre knew it, but what I know doesn't matter because I don't cut me checks once in a while. If I give myself like a really good hand job, yeah, I'll give myself a check. But for the most part, I don't tip myself out that much, you know. So, like when I did Loveline on mtv, I got nothing or next to nothing for season one and next to nothing for season two. And then when it became abundantly evident to the people that were producing the show that no one else was going to do what I was going to do Sitting next to Dr. Drew, I went in and said I need my money doubled from almost nothing to next to nothing. And everyone was like, oh, what are they going to do? And I'm like, what are they going to do? You think there's another fucking human being on the planet that can do this? You don't have writers because I write.

[Allison Rosen]

Did your fans support you in.

[Adam Carolla]

No. No. Nobody supported me.

[Brian Bishop]

MTV was like next to nothing. Who do you think you are? Chris Hardwick?

[Adam Carolla]

That's right. My manager didn't support me and Drew didn't support me either, but I knew no fucking way. And it's the same thing that if one day I decide to go in and go, hey, catch a contractor, guys, I need a raise. Good luck. They cannot replace me. They can try, but they cannot. Because nobody knows comedy and carpentry.

[Caller/Guest]

Why all the hating?

[Adam Carolla]

Plenty of funny guys and plenty of good carpenters are not the same human being. There's one person on the planet who can do that job, and that's me. Now I know that they have to know it. And they don't know it in season one and maybe even season two, but they now know it. So it's what they know.

[Allison Rosen]

Is it the kind of thing, in terms of getting people to know it that they have to learn from observing as opposed to you telling them? Because I feel like. But I feel like in this industry, people are told constantly. And actually, you see some of that on Shark Tank. Told constantly that you have to tell, you know, you have to quote, unquote, sell your own typewriter. Like, you have to have your brand. You have to explain who you are to people. You have to this. And I'm always profoundly uncomfortable trying to tout myself to people, so I'm actually happy to hear that. There's not that much that comes from that. It's more them seeing what you can do.

[Adam Carolla]

Absolutely. But once they see what you can do, then that'll be it. I mean, you don't have to worry about it. All right, let's see. Let me do. Oh, we got Find out when Rick's on the phone. Stamps.com. love these [e-mail]. let's not sit in the post office.

[Brian Bishop]

Don't negotiate the lines at the post office.

[Adam Carolla]

Negotiate. That's right. Everyone just mentally go into your post office of your mind. It's a dark place now. Breathe it in.

[Brian Bishop]

It's well lit, but it's a dark place.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Smells weird, right? Cardboard and pain.

[Brian Bishop]

Discarded stamps.

[Adam Carolla]

Licked stamps.com. pens on Chains is where you go. Yeah. Pens on chains. Stamps, dot com. We should have stopped the world the second they put the first pen on the first chain and went, what's up, people?

[Brian Bishop]

We should have taken a Hard.

[Adam Carolla]

Look, this is not going on in Japan.

[Allison Rosen]

Unshackle your pens.

[Adam Carolla]

Why are we doing it here? Let's stop right now. This is a bad thing. Now we have barbed wire around freeway signs and metal detectors in every school. But we should have stopped when they put the first chain on the first pen. Stamps.com. they got a bonus offer. 55 bucks free postage. You go to stamps.com before you do anything else, click on the microphone, top of the homepage. Type in Adam that is stamps.com. enter Adam. All right, we got some calls, but Rick Harrison from Pawn Stars is online too. Rick.

[Caller/Guest]

Hey, what's up?

[Adam Carolla]

Hey, Rick, Good to speak to you again.

[Caller/Guest]

Good talk to you too, man. What's up?

[Adam Carolla]

Rick has got himself an app, by the way, and it's free on itunes at the app Store. And you know him from Pawn Stars, and we saw him in Vegas a few months back. This Brian, you would love. It's a trivia challenge. It's Rick Harrison's trivia challenge and we're actually playing it today. It's fun.

[Caller/Guest]

No kidding.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, what happened was, is Gary fired it up on his phone and then was shouting them out to me, and then I was answering the ones I could answer.

[Brian Bishop]

As one who loves trivia, I'm constantly amazed by Rick's just knowledge of history and all the stuff that comes into his store. It's amazing.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. This makes sense for you, right, Rick?

[Lori Grenier]

Yeah.

[Caller/Guest]

I mean, my one buddy came to me and wanted to do it. I said, sure, let's give it a shot. And everyone seems to really like it, except for Chumley because he couldn't get past level two. That's no joke. He really said get past level two?

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I'm not.

[Brian Bishop]

Adam's like, there's a level two?

[Adam Carolla]

There is. I. Yeah. Well, we played for about 10 minutes. I got caught up on the fastest swimming stroke, which I said was freestyle, which it is. But freestyle is called what's called the paddle, the crawl. The crawl.

[Brian Bishop]

Interesting.

[Adam Carolla]

Which I did not know.

[Brian Bishop]

I didn't know that either.

[Adam Carolla]

I would have called it. I kept saying freestyle and Gary kept saying, it's not on here. It's called the crawl. But Rick Harrison, you must have known that.

[Caller/Guest]

No, I didn't know that. Good.

[Adam Carolla]

Let the nerds handle the heavy lifting. So, by the way, new episodes of Pawn stars on Thursdays, 9 o', clock, History Channel. Geez, Rick, I guess I should ask you if you have any thoughts about all that's going on in the world, especially with all the Sony stuff and the movies and North Korea and all that stuff. Just because you're such a history buff and especially you know so much about the wars and the conflicts and all that. And I've been hearing a lot of talk about, well, you know, World War I and World War II and comparisons and people wanting us to sit out, hearing about how Henry Ford wanted us to sit out of everything and all that stuff. But what's your opinion?

[Caller/Guest]

Well, I mean, I got some different opinions of other stuff. I mean, North Korea is just a bunch of douchebags I'm riding, okay? The whole thing in Ukraine, don't get me wrong, Putin's a douchebag, you know, I mean, he's a bad, bad, bad person.

[Brian Bishop]

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[Gina Grad]

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[Promo Voice]

Today

[Adam Carolla]

Queen Carvania stood haloed by the morning sun. An army hung on her every word.

[Gina Grad]

My champions I have seen. I sold my chariot on Carvana. Twas a lovely suv, an inexplicably queenly offer. They're even coming to the castle to collect it.

[Brian Bishop]

Tonight we feast.

[Gina Grad]

An offer you can feast on. Sell your car today on Carvana.

[Adam Carolla]

Pick up fees may apply.

[Caller/Guest]

The United States has like the worst diplomatic crew on the planet. I mean, I mean the Prussians, Napoleon, Hitler, everybody who ever invaded Russia went through Ukraine, right? And we spent, the United States alone spent over $60 million in propaganda in the Ukraine to try to get them to join NATO and the European Union. I'm just saying, what would happen if Mexico suddenly had an economic relationship with Russia and was gonna put Russian military bases on our border? Well, that's right. It happened in Cuba. You understand what I'm saying?

[Adam Carolla]

Is there any. Can I ask you this question? I don't feel like any nation responds to hey, let's just get along. The only thing they respond to is, we can crush you. Historically, they look at, hey, let's get along as, oh, you're weak. I don't feel like we do, but I feel like. And I don't feel like Canada does, and I don't feel like parts of Europe does. But there's always a bunch of asshole nations out there that are like a guy at a bar, that if you said to the guy, even if you're a third degree black belt, if you said to the guy, look, I just want to enjoy my night with. I'm out here, I'm having a beer with my friends. I don't want any trouble.

[Brian Bishop]

He'd go, I'm playing the Rick Harrison trivia bath. I'm just trying to enjoy myself.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. I'm just trying to enjoy myself. He'd go, oh, he's weak. He's a pussy. I could kick his ass. You know, we're going out of the parking lot right now. Like, whether you could just because. Just because you said you didn't want to fight. They saw that as weakness.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah. I mean, it's like this. It's like you go in the schoolyard and there's the bully. You go, here's some money. Don't you know, be my friend. He's not going to be your friend. If you approach it like if the United States went through these other countries, well, you know, do this, this, this, and we might give you a little foreign aid, but we ain't going to do nothing until you do it. That would work, but you just can't pay someone, please, be my friend, please. And when they don't do it, you just give more money. You'll do it next time, right? What do you.

[Adam Carolla]

What would you do about North Korea then?

[Caller/Guest]

There isn't a lot we can do about North Korea besides do zero. Trade with them and basically let them know. I mean, you. Yeah. I mean, when you had Ronald Reagan, when you had Franklin Roosevelt, yet Teddy Roosevelt, any of those guys, they wouldn't mess with us because we know, you know, it was, you know, Teddy Roosevelt, I speak softly. I carry a really big stick. They don't think we got a stick. They think we got one of those. Those little floaty things, meeting things you have in the pool, you know?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, a pool noodle. A pool noodle? Yeah.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah, that's. That's what they think we gotta do. You have to.

[Adam Carolla]

This is. This is why I've always said they don't fear us. Our president Is too skinny. We need a bulked up Alec Baldwin with a huge beard and a pocket watch.

[Caller/Guest]

Quiet.

[Adam Carolla]

He was wearing a vest and just burst barrel chest just bursting out of his vest. And he keeps looking at his stop, his timepiece going. I grow weary of this conversation. Yeah, we need a husky guy with a huge beard. I really do think that some of these countries are so primitive. Like, I mean, honestly, you see Putin with his shirt off and his muscles puffed up riding a horse. It's like in their mind, if Putin could kick our guys ass, then they could kick our ass, country's ass. I mean, I don't think it's Putin per se, but it's like the nation. We're so primitive that way. I guarantee.

[Caller/Guest]

Well, we did the same thing in Vietnam. The CIA dropped massively large condoms all over North Vietnam.

[Adam Carolla]

That's a great idea. Is it?

[Brian Bishop]

The Americans are coming.

[Caller/Guest]

Yes. It was part of the psy hops thing.

[Adam Carolla]

I fucking love that. Psychological warfare.

[Brian Bishop]

Absolutely.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. These are small. We got rid of them because they're too small for our combinations.

[Brian Bishop]

They're magnums of the note attached saying, sorry for the small condoms, boys. Sorry for the snug fit.

[Adam Carolla]

The app is called Rick Harrison's trivia challenge. It's available now and it's free on the itunes app store. And of course the show Pawn Stars. Rick, I wish we had more time, but Laurie Grin Grinier Grineer is calling in from Shark Tank. So we'll see you next time we're in Vegas, my friend.

[Caller/Guest]

Okay, well, let's talk more about condoms in North Korea.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah. It's a fun. It's fun and it's free. I don't know what else. Yeah, what else you need to know about that app? All right, phone call. 106 year old farmhouse. All right, let's see.

[Caller/Guest]

Time.

[Adam Carolla]

Let's see. All right, that's an interesting question. Paul, 29, Chicago.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah. Hey, Adam, how you doing? Good. I had a question about how you experience your accomplishments because of the motor. I completely agree. I have a motor myself. I don't. So I go to a good school. When I was in the military things, I got promoted quickly and I had honorable discharge and all these things. I don't enjoy it. I'm on to the next, onto the next, onto the next. Everybody in my life says, you know, boy, you gotta enjoy what you're doing. For instance, back to back to back dean's list at the school that I go to in Illinois. It's really good. And I say, good, that's what's supposed to happen. And I hear you say the same thing and reinforce these ideas. Do you enjoy. Do you enjoy the documentary, the movie, the podcast, the new podcast, or do you just move on to the next?

[Adam Carolla]

Well, you know, it's funny because, look, it's a balance. It's like I enjoy a beer at the end of the day when I've worked hard the whole day and now a cold beer tastes great. But that beer at 9am would taste technically the same. I would not enjoy it because I didn't feel that I've earned it.

[Allison Rosen]

But you'll still have it if you're flying.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. Or tailgating.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, that's way too late. If I'm flying, I'll set my alarm, wake up at 4am and have a beer before I'm flying. Yes, there's a Earning it versus getting it. So it's the same beer. It's exactly the same beer. I think I said to my wife after we got off the road doing a couple shows in Portland, couple shows in Seattle, got back, I don't know, on a Sunday or something. I got in my sweatpants and my slippers. I was putzing around. I was drinking a beer. It was like Sunday. It was like, I don't know, one in the afternoon. And I said, I'm enjoying this beer quite a bit right now, knowing what the last 44 hours was like and how much I did. But if I was just walking, if I'd taken the week off, I really would not be enjoying this beer. I'd probably have to switch to something hard.

[Kelly James]

Sure.

[Brian Bishop]

Ratchet it up.

[Adam Carolla]

But it's weird because it's the exact same thing that you're pouring across the same taste buds, but it means something totally different.

[Allison Rosen]

Well, one is treating yourself, the other is sloth and avoiding life.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. But it's funny because it's the beer's the beer. And I was. I spent the day we're going to have our Christmas party out here tomorrow. And I've spent the day, as I've said many times, throw a party. It forces you to get your house in order. Literally, in this case, my workshop in order. But I love it for me, when somebody comes to the shop and they go, oh my God, wow, you got a lot. And I go, when were you here? And they go, I was here like a year and a half ago. But it's totally different now because for me, I see it change incrementally every single day, but it's not. I can't even perceive it it's too slow for me. But when people come and go, whoa, no, that whole part over there wasn't even done at all. And there's a bunch of junk in the corner and blah, blah, blah. That's the most satisfying thing to me. So I spent the day doing a little podcasting, working on some of the movies, but also organizing and doing that stuff, which sounds like a bummer, but it's really ultimately incredibly satisfying.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. Because your stuff and your place.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. And it's seeing stuff get done. But come the party, I will definitely be putting that beer back. Yes.

[Caller/Guest]

You ever feel like you'll be, like, done collecting achievements and be able to relax, or will you always just be on the go and eventually everybody around you just gonna be like, why don't you relax? And you're like, we're here now. Because I did. But then everybody kind of got the news that you can relax, and you just haven't figured it out yet.

[Adam Carolla]

You know, I don't. I think one mode or the look, the on the move mode, while good for the government in terms of paying taxes and good for society in terms of keeping people out of trouble and mo. All that stuff psychologically is every bit as bad as the guy who can't get up off the sofa and won't put the beer down. You have to be able to go, I will work, and then I will not work. I will be happy over this thing. I will be pissed off about this thing. You can't just go, I have one speed, one mode.

[Allison Rosen]

Don't you think you tip more in the direction of on the move?

[Adam Carolla]

I do, but I also can be very. I do tiptoe on the move because I've realized, well, for me personally, I squandered the whole beginning part of my life.

[Allison Rosen]

Oh, you're making up for lost time.

[Adam Carolla]

In a way, I completely squandered my life. You know, years and decades are just squandered. Just literally just picking up garbage and digging ditches. Like the guy who wants to invent everything and build everything and talk about everything and write everything was walking around a construction site picking up garbage for the entire alone all day, every day. So I have a oh, my God, did I waste the first part of my life feeling the other part is, though deriving pleasure from accomplishment. It feels fun to me to go down to Kimmel's theater on a Sunday and tilt a few with Nick Santora and Cousin Sal and the boys and watch the game and enjoy myself. It feels good because it's a Contrast to what I'll be doing on Monday. But I want Monday. Just like I was saying to Brian the other day. But I've always said this. I've always said, look, when it came to comedy, I use it as a metaphor in comedy. I said, the reason people laugh so hard at a funeral is because it's sullen. And then somebody tells a story about the deceased and the place erupt into laughter because there's balloons getting filled with

[Brian Bishop]

air the whole time. You just want to prick that balloon, right?

[Adam Carolla]

So I've always said, why can't Mexico make a fucking dessert? Their desserts all suck uniformly. Why? Because they did the wrong math. Even though it was correct, they fucked it up. They said, look, what's the difference between just a roll and a bagel? What's the difference between maybe they didn't use bagel. I mean, donut. Let's see. So you got a donut and a roll or piece of pastry and a piece of bread. And somebody went, well, the only difference is the sugar. That's it. It's just basically sugar. That's what makes it a dessert. So they went, good. Let's make it all sugar all the time. Let's get rid of all the salt. Let's get rid of all the yeast and all the this and that. Just do cold blocks of sugar shaped like a cactus or a turtle or something. And you take a bite of that shit. And it all sucks. Cause it's all sugar too intense. And somebody. And I've always said what brings out the sugar is the salt. And somebody start making these salt granule, like cookies.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, Brolin Christie's cookies.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. And she made them where it's like they have big pieces of salt in them. And it's like, oh, my God, where have you been my whole life?

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. I tap your chocolate chip cookies. A little bit of salt.

[Adam Carolla]

The salt makes the sugar pop. Well, it's the same in life. The putting in a very good, long, hard work week makes that beer taste that much better on the football Sunday.

[Brian Bishop]

I'm hungry.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, let's see. Oh, wait a minute. What line is Deloria on? Oh, wait. Oh, she's calling it 440. Okay, I got that. Anyway, Paul, you don't have to turn. Try not to turn what you're doing into work. Just trying to turn it into satisfaction. And then make sure you carve out time in your life to do nothing. Just literally throw a ball with your kid in the backyard or sit.

[Promo Voice]

I'm Kiana, and I leveled up My business with Shopify.

[Allison Rosen]

Once I figured out that Shopify was

[Promo Voice]

a thing, I never turned back.

[Allison Rosen]

I can create a site with my eyes closed. Shopify thinks ahead of us, you know, and it thinks about the customer more than anything. Every day I'm thinking about some other new business, but Shopify is doing it to me because it's so easy to use. Like, I can't stop. I'm addicted.

[Adam Carolla]

Start your free [e-mail]. mom, can you tell me a story?

[Lori Grenier]

Sure.

[Gina Grad]

Once upon a time, a mom needed a new car.

[Adam Carolla]

Was she brave?

[Gina Grad]

She was tired, mostly. But she went to Carvana.com and found

[Adam Carolla]

a great car at a great price.

[Gina Grad]

No secret treasure map required.

[Adam Carolla]

Did you have to fight a dragon?

[Allison Rosen]

Nope.

[Gina Grad]

She bought it 100% online from her bed, actually.

[Adam Carolla]

Was it scary?

[Gina Grad]

Honey, it was as unscary as car buying could be.

[Adam Carolla]

Did the car have a sunroof?

[Gina Grad]

It did, actually.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay, good story.

[Gina Grad]

Car buying you'll want to tell stories about. Buy your car today on Carvana. Delivery fees may apply.

[Adam Carolla]

Queen Carvania stood haloed by the morning sun. An army hung on her every word.

[Gina Grad]

My champions, I have sold my chariot on Carvana. Twas a lovely suv, an inexplicable, inexplicably queenly offer. They're even coming to the castle to collect it.

[Brian Bishop]

Tonight we feast.

[Gina Grad]

An offer you can feast on. Sell your car today on Carvana.

[Adam Carolla]

Pick up fees may apply on Nick Santora's lap and get drunk and watch football.

[Brian Bishop]

Is a long carve out some time for that.

[Adam Carolla]

Paul, you know what I'm saying is you cannot be that person that's like, can never turn it off. Good. Have a sense of humor. But don't be that person that has to hold court every single time you're out to dinner and talking everyone's ear off. And always be on, you know, the comedian that's always on. Nobody likes that person.

[Lori Grenier]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, let's talk to. Somebody's got an old farmhouse. Somebody's watching Last Man Standing. The character like me.

[Allison Rosen]

That's an interesting question.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay, line four. Hey, Justin. 25, Arizona.

[Caller/Guest]

Hey, Iceman. Big fan.

[Adam Carolla]

What's going on?

[Caller/Guest]

Hey, I was watching the Last Man Standing just the other day, and I noticed a bunch of nuances between the character of Mike Baxter, who Tim Allen portrays, and yourself. And then I realized that it was actually written and created by Kevin Hinch. And I was wondering, was that intentional? Did you know about that, or what's the deal there?

[Adam Carolla]

I don't think it's intentional, but I Do think it's like, you ever noticed when people hang out a lot together, girls will do this and guys will do it. They'll start sounding like each other.

[Allison Rosen]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

Can't really tell them apart. Especially like, girlfriends have been best friends for a million years and not in an obnoxious way.

[Lori Grenier]

Oh, my God, it's exciting.

[Adam Carolla]

They just sound. They start sounding the same.

[Lori Grenier]

Oh, my God, it's exciting.

[Adam Carolla]

Guys do the same thing. And so I think Hanch, after thousands of breakfasts listening to me bitch and complain about the woes of society, has probably picked up on that a little bit.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah, it's definitely not a bad thing. It makes the show great and I like it.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, no, it's a funny show and it's a good character. And they get into a couple issues and it's like. It's a little archie Bunker for 2014, but it's good and it's doing well. I think it's. I don't know, going into season four or something, it's weird how fast you just. You blink your eyes and it's like, what? We're season what? Oh, yeah. Hundredth episode. It's like, what the. Yeah. So I never specifically spoke to him about it, but I'll actually see him tomorrow, so I'll ask. It's not even worth it. Yes. Whatever I say rubs off on him to some degree, and it gets incorporated into that character just the same. Any as anyone would, I think, in any situation.

[Brian Bishop]

Plus, when you have that writing partner, that comedy partner or whoever you're bouncing ideas off of, you end up talking about the same ideas back and forth. You pitch him something, he pitches half a thing back to you, back to him, back to you. Next thing you know, you don't know whose original idea it was, but you're both arrived at the same place. The sort of mind space.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

You arrive at the same sort of idea.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. And Kevin is very much the way I am as well. I mean, I don't think we're the same politically, but we're definitely the same in the. Just get the fuck out there and get to work, would you? Everybody shut up. All right.

[Caller/Guest]

Thanks a lot, Ace, man.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I mean, he's a guy. Kevin Hinch set his high school free throw record, which to me is one of those little indicators. The only way you can set the free throw record of your high school is to, for two hours a day, practice free throwing alone. Just stand there, just sit there and fucking do it. And that's what it takes. Dedication, love that and by the way, love mangrate, baby. Ah, it's a must have holiday gift. I was. I put this out there. Is there a human being that has set up the mangrate? And then said, nah, I'll go back to my old grit.

[Brian Bishop]

Probably some fool somewhere. But no one would have.

[Adam Carolla]

Maybe somebody's being chased with a butterfly net dressed as Napoleon as we speak. But no, once you go into the mangrate realm, you never go back. That's right. 100% made in America. 100% cast iron. Sits right on top of your existing grates. They weigh like eight pounds each. They're heavy duty. They last a lifetime. You get the steakhouse flavor. No more flare ups. Perfect seared meat. It is awesome. And they got a little holiday deal for you. Just $19.99. When you enter Adam at checkout for a limited time, you order four, you get the fourth one free. So you order the four, you get the fourth free. That's mangreat.com. enter the coupon code Adam. All right, somebody's got an old farmhouse. I was annoyed at guests. Let's see. Try the old farmhouse first. Joey. 26, Cincinnati.

[Caller/Guest]

Adam.

[Adam Carolla]

What's going on? What's happening, by the way?

[Caller/Guest]

Just bought a spot for mangrates using the promo code.

[Adam Carolla]

Sweet.

[Caller/Guest]

Wow.

[Adam Carolla]

Thank you.

[Caller/Guest]

Oh, yeah. So I just bought an old farmhouse. It's 160 years old. The framing, I guess, is called balloon framing. The entire framing of the house is made without a nail. Everything is mortise and tenon joint to each other.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Caller/Guest]

So thinking.

[Adam Carolla]

Hold on a second. Everyone's like, back when craftsmen were craftsmen. It's like. It's back when you used to be able to pay Irish guys a dollar a week that weren't so much craftsmen. They were so they were, like, desperate. Yeah, there was like German guys, Italian guys, and Irish guys, and you could pay them a dollar a week and they would do that kind of work.

[Brian Bishop]

That was the going rate.

[Adam Carolla]

That was the going rate. Yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

They made balloons.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, they did a whole. Yeah, it's a kind of a framing, I think if you walk into those old restaurant warehouses and things like that and you don't see any posts coming down. You see the.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, they make sheds like that, don't they?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, but this is on a much bigger scale, Joey.

[Lori Grenier]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. So those aren't trusts. They have a trust system up there, or is it just one complete balloon?

[Caller/Guest]

No, there's. There's trusses as well. Everything more is intended. And there's like knee joints that run through the trusses. They're actually cut through the trusses. It's pretty insane.

[Adam Carolla]

It's nice. All stuff was done by hand as well. But again, at a buck a day, do it by hand. All right, so now what?

[Caller/Guest]

So the house is actually sinking in. In one of the corners. And it's because some retarded H vac guys actually removed part of the stack stone foundation. So it's sinking in a corner. On top of that sill plate. On top of it is rotted out. So we actually have to lift the sill plate up and then we have to lift the house off of the sill plate. Yes, and replace the foundation. And replace the sill plate.

[Adam Carolla]

So the foundation back then would just be stones put in place because they didn't pour concrete or pump concrete or form concrete. And then you gotta. You can jack stuff up. You can jack up whole houses. Like I've said, I did it, done it many times.

[Caller/Guest]

We actually have the house jacked up right now.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay, well, I was gonna tell you that there's all these new technologies for saving all these historical buildings where they take all this rotted wood and instead of cutting it out and replacing it, they take like a two part epoxy system and just like douse it with this stuff, therefore sort of rebuilding it from the outside in. You know what I'm saying? Talking about Joey.

[Caller/Guest]

Yes, I do. And that is fucking crazy because I mentioned to it to one of my dad's contractor buddies who's helping me, and he said, no, that stuff doesn't exist. And I was like, I'm pretty sure I've heard of that before.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, like, I'll put it to you this way. What if there's something like Old State House and they had big wooden columns or something and then at the base of the column is all chipped away and falling apart and whatever? Well, it was painted white, but it was all rotted out and you had to replace it. Well, you could form it up with A, A and a B, a catalyst and a resin, a two part epoxy and like form it and literally shape it again and then paint it. It wouldn't be wood, but it'd be epoxy. So it's like you have this rotted out sill plate. Instead of jack it all up, remove the sill plate, replace the sill plate, pour it on, paint it on like honey, let it harden and make it impervious to insects and rot and things like that.

[Caller/Guest]

Yes.

[Brian Bishop]

We were talking about this actually on the podcast maybe two years ago. Because I had a question when Ray came in for his segment. My fence is basically doing what on a much smaller scale, obviously, the rotting around the bottom. And a listener who was listening works for a company that makes this wood epoxy. And he sent me some samples and he just painted right on and reconstitutes the wood.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. The problem with whoever built your fence is they didn't form the concrete where the post went in.

[Brian Bishop]

Okay, what does that mean?

[Adam Carolla]

What I mean is wood should never go down to the soil line. That's when the rotting and the termites kick in. What you should do is form it. Meaning put a little. Yeah, dig a hole, Put a little form in it, pour it so it's 4 inches, 6 inches above the grass, above the. And then put a post holder in it so that the wood doesn't make contact with the dirt.

[Brian Bishop]

Okay.

[Adam Carolla]

That's what you want to do.

[Brian Bishop]

Thanks a lot, previous asshole.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right.

[Brian Bishop]

It's a nice fence, though.

[Adam Carolla]

Thank you, Joey. Where was he? Did I have him punch up Joey?

[Caller/Guest]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, so you've jacked the place up. You're going to replace the sill plate. Your contractor told you that the stuff that exists doesn't exist. And now what now?

[Caller/Guest]

Well, my other question was, if we have to replace the sill plate, since all of the studs are mortise in, are we going to be able to cut the studs at the bottom off mortise to lift it up? Because he said that in. The house basically has no structure and would fall over. So.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, the studs at the bottom are mortised into the sill plate. That's what you're saying. Yes. Obviously, you can take a bayonet saw or sawzall and just lop it off if you want.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah, but he said it would fall over if we did that.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, this guy. This guy didn't. Ever heard of the epoxy wood prep stuff either.

[Brian Bishop]

A lot of catching up to do.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know. Use your.

[Allison Rosen]

He's the original contractor.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. He's 210 years old. I don't. Look, I'm not standing there. You can kind of figure most of this shit out by sort of standing there. Most of the laws of physics and gravity apply, no matter. Even if even same ones in Cincinnati as we have here in la. So I'm pretty sure you kind of figure it out. But yeah, I would say so far. I mean, I don't know, get a second opinion.

[Allison Rosen]

That's you.

[Caller/Guest]

I have multiple opinions. That's the problem.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I don't get why it's gonna fall over just because you cut the mortise out, but anyway.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, Joe, listen, I'm not. Look, I don't want to tell him to go ahead and do it and

[Brian Bishop]

have him like, Adam Quirrell destroyed my house.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Then we turn on the evening news, man trapped under a barn, and I just scream at Lynette. I don't know anything about that. No one said anything.

[Brian Bishop]

It wasn't me having a doctor guy in Cincinnati recently. That's for sure.

[Adam Carolla]

That's for goddamn sure. Joey. There's a lot of Joeys, Joe. What about Joey from Friends?

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, she was a Cincinnati native, right?

[Adam Carolla]

Ira. Yeah, there's a name. What's going on, Ira? Lori is online, too, so I gotta put you on hold for a second.

[Caller/Guest]

All right, I'm waiting.

[Adam Carolla]

All right. That's what I like about you, Lori.

[Lori Grenier]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

All right. Lori Grenier. Did I get it right?

[Lori Grenier]

Yes, it's Lori Greinear.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, I screwed up a little bit, but not too bad.

[Lori Grenier]

That's all right. We'll let you live.

[Adam Carolla]

I love your Shark Tank.

[Lori Grenier]

Oh, thank you. Thank you.

[Adam Carolla]

There are two ladies on the show, and Laurie's the one with the beautiful long blonde hair. I like everyone on it, I must say. I'm always a fan of Cuban and whatever he does. And I love the insane honesty that all you guys seem to possess. Unless there's something you want to tell me that's going to break my heart right now, Laurie.

[Lori Grenier]

No, I'll never break your heart, Adam.

[Adam Carolla]

So how did you get started as the queen of the qvc?

[Lori Grenier]

Well, I just came up with a product idea. And I mean, the edited version, the short version, is that I figured out how to make it, how to market it, how to do everything from soup to nuts, so to speak. And I just got it out there on the market. JCPenney was my first. Actually, my first customer. And then I got on the Home Shopping Network, so I actually wasn't the queen of QVC to start. And then with the success of that first product, and as I grew and made more products. It's a very long story, but I jumped over to qvc and the rest is history.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I know, like, I saw. I think it was the week before last, you guys doing one of your products at Drop Stop, which we advertise on this program, which I have been talking about for years and never motivated enough to actually invent. But Brian knows that I've been talking about all the stuff that falls down in between the seat and the transmission tunnel and how you can never get at it. And I actually painted my wallet red because it kept falling out of my sweatpants and landing on the black carpet, and I couldn't find it down underneath there. But hilarious.

[Brian Bishop]

Adam's a fan of sweatpants, athletic pants, tearaway pants they wear on the NBA sidelines, All sorts of pants that can be slid in and out of easily.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right.

[Lori Grenier]

I was gonna say, Adam, you're painting a lovely picture of yourself.

[Adam Carolla]

Thank you. Well, look, I don't think you should be allowed to sell sweatpants with shallow pockets and no zippers. That's a recipe for disaster.

[Lori Grenier]

I agree. But then you got the zipper. You can't get out of them fast, right?

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, no, just the pockets. Don't worry. Sweatpants. I can take those off over my shoes if I have to make love quickly.

[Brian Bishop]

Velcro. Otherwise.

[Lori Grenier]

I have a question for you, Adam.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Lori Grenier]

What's the weirdest thing that's ever fallen down there?

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I'll keep a tampon on me as, like, a guy will carry.

[Allison Rosen]

Chivalrous.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Like, some people will have a pack of cigarettes, even if they don't smoke, just to offer them to other people.

[Brian Bishop]

Be polite.

[Adam Carolla]

You know what I mean?

[Lori Grenier]

Yeah. You go up to women. Would you like a tampon?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. You seem a little off. Seem a little moody.

[Brian Bishop]

Can I light your tampon for you?

[Adam Carolla]

I light your tampon screen. I put two in my mouth, I light the string, and then I hand her one like Humphrey Bogart. It's a class move.

[Lori Grenier]

I want to know, how's that working for you?

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I've been married for close to over a decade, but before 15 years, I think. So it's going nicely.

[Lori Grenier]

Is she a fan of your sweatpants?

[Adam Carolla]

She loves everything I do. God love Lynette. I must say, though, I do get angry at her watching your show.

[Lori Grenier]

Why?

[Adam Carolla]

I'll tell you why. Because these women come in there and they're like, remember the woman who had the makeup spatula?

[Lori Grenier]

Yes, Fatty daddy.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. And she was like, well, I get up at 4, and I make breakfast for the kids. And then I make lunch for the kids, and then I make lunch for my man. And then I drive everyone to school, and then I go in and volunteer over at the YMCA with the retarded kids. And then when I come back, I have nothing to do.

[Brian Bishop]

I invent.

[Adam Carolla]

So I didn't like the idea of wasting that last drop of mascara that was at the bottom of everything. Meanwhile, I throw out 700 gallons of milk a year because it gets left out on the counter. Then she goes, I didn't like the idea of wasting that little drop of makeup that was at the bottom of the container. And I realized that I come home, the lights are on in the closet. No one's home. So she invents this little spatula.

[Brian Bishop]

Get that last little bit to get

[Adam Carolla]

that last little bit. Because she didn't.

[Brian Bishop]

$9 worth of mascara she didn't want to waste.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, over a lifetime, it could add up to $40. And I said, who is this saint who's doing this?

[Lori Grenier]

You've made me see Spatty daddy in a whole new light.

[Adam Carolla]

Did you buy the Spatty Daddy?

[Lori Grenier]

No, I did not buy the Spatty Daddy.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, then screw that. Let's focus on the drop stop.

[Lori Grenier]

That's right. Let's focus on the drop stop. Two amazing guys who, I have to say, not only is the product awesome, because it is, but. But the guys are amazing, too. They are, like, really, truly family to me, and I love them dearly, which is why I'm here tonight. Not only because I love you, Adam, but because I love my drop shop Adam.

[Adam Carolla]

She's a real saleswoman.

[Allison Rosen]

Do you hear her talk about them? Almost make it seem like you're looking right at them.

[Adam Carolla]

It's almost like I can see them through the window. Here they are. Here you can see Mark and Jeff.

[Lori Grenier]

That's right.

[Adam Carolla]

But how much?

[Lori Grenier]

How can Jeff. The saints.

[Adam Carolla]

So let me ask you this then, Laurie, because I see the product, but it's not just the product. It's the person that you guys have to kind of vibe on, right? Like, you go, well, we got a good product, but do I want to get in business with this dude? It's not even trustworthy. It's just, do I want to hang with this person? Yeah, tell us about that.

[Lori Grenier]

That is me. That's me. 100%. I don't know if you know Kevin. I don't know that he thinks the same way. Kevin's always like, screw it. It's all about the product and the money. I don't care who they are. But for me, it's really a joint decision of if I like the product and I don't like the person. There's no product in the world that's going to get me to get in bed with that person in a business, right? And if I like the person and I like the product, I'm sold.

[Adam Carolla]

And it's not. And I don't want to put words in your mouth. But it's not all about, like, it's about enthusiasm as well. Like. Like, if you just said, I'll ask you this hypothetical. Let's say one product was a 9 and the other product was a 5. But the 5 had super enthusiastic people behind it and the 9 had someone who looked like you put a plate of shit under their nose. No, you'd go with the five in the enthusiasm, right?

[Lori Grenier]

No, I would not go with the five. You don't go with five. I go with nines and nines or tens and tens. You gotta have both product. Because an enthusiastic person, no matter how great they are, they're not gonna take a 5 and turn it into a 10 if it's a 5. But if you have a 5, if you have a 10 and you have a 10 person, then you know they're gonna soar.

[Caller/Guest]

Mm.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, maybe when we're off the air, I can pitch you my idea from the man. Show my belly Zamboni. Oh, yeah. I don't want to get. There's a lot of kids listening to the show, so I won't get too graphic about it. But I think we could definitely move some units. There is a market for this.

[Brian Bishop]

It'll clean up a mess that ends up on your belly.

[Adam Carolla]

That's the. Oh, my God, Brian. I didn't want to even take it that far, but again, could we cut that out?

[Brian Bishop]

We can cut that out.

[Adam Carolla]

There's a lot of enthusiasm on this end.

[Caller/Guest]

A lot.

[Brian Bishop]

Product may be a 4, enthusiasm in a 12.

[Lori Grenier]

I don't even know where my mind how.

[Adam Carolla]

When you guys do the shark. When you do Shark Tank, do you. Do you gang tape those? Because I sit there and I look at these people and I go, these are such busy people. Everyone is an entrepreneur. Everyone has a million businesses. I know Mark Cuban can't take four months off and do this. Do you guys shoot multiple episodes in a day?

[Caller/Guest]

We do.

[Lori Grenier]

We see about eight or nine entrepreneurs a day. So they're back to back to back. And so we get through a lot of people, but we see hundreds of people. It's pretty grueling as far as the process of the pitching.

[Adam Carolla]

And it's gotta be just a great gig though. Cause you guys are sitting there and everyone is just dancing their ass off and you're being entertained by them and sort of being intrigued by them. But it's not like, oh, we got the teleprompter loaded up and there's last minute rewrites and you get in the script, you know, messenger out to Your house the night before? Not at all.

[Caller/Guest]

No.

[Lori Grenier]

It's live. I mean, they come in, we have no idea who they are, Right. They come in, they do their pitch, and whatever happens in the Tank happens. I mean, you've seen it. Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad, sometimes it's ugly. There are fights. There are. I mean, you know, everything flies from wild laughter to serious moments to where we're killing each other.

[Caller/Guest]

Did.

[Adam Carolla]

I think I heard Mr. Fubu interviewed. I can't think of his name.

[Lori Grenier]

Damon.

[Adam Carolla]

Damon. Damon.

[Lori Grenier]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

They said, what did you. What are your regrets? Any regrets? And I think he said uber.

[Lori Grenier]

Uber.

[Adam Carolla]

And I don't. I didn't like somebody pitch the Uber app or Uber cat service or whatever, but I said, I don't. I'm trying to think if I saw that. Was that pitched while you were there?

[Lori Grenier]

No, I don't know what he's talking about. Honestly, I never heard that out of him before. But who knows?

[Adam Carolla]

Maybe he was just screwing with the guy from tmz.

[Brian Bishop]

Maybe it was before the show.

[Adam Carolla]

I gotta. I gotta figure out. Or maybe he had a shot at it or knew it or was thinking of it and it wasn't coming around. Anyway, the show, Shark Tank, that is Fridays at 9:00 clock on ABC. And you can get your drop. Stop. I think you guys, where were you? Like a Bed Bath and Beyond when I saw you guys doing it on TV the other day?

[Lori Grenier]

Yeah, we were at Bed, Bath and Beyond. I think it was November 14th. They aired my All Stars and we had a special end cap section with about 7 of my shark Tank entrepreneurs. That's pretty awesome, I have to say.

[Adam Carolla]

Yep, I watched all the successful people and I grew hungry for success myself. You guys should all watch the show. Laurie, thank you very much for coming on.

[Lori Grenier]

Thank you so much. Have a great holiday. Adam, I shall get some more sweats.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm telling you. No Back Pocket. Look, Back Pocket should have Velcro or something on it. Think about how slippery wallets are and think about how slippery sweatpants are. And then picture how many times you get in and out of your car every day. It's gonna happen. All right, let's see. We got one more call and then we got news and we got a bunch of stuff going on. So, let's see. So, Iraq. Oh, yeah.

[Caller/Guest]

Ira, hi, it's me and I'm back.

[Adam Carolla]

Hey, Ira, you're back. What's going on?

[Caller/Guest]

Well, so question for you. Well, actually, first I wanted to preface my question with a comment about the state of the world. And folks, how this would be an observation you would normally make. You know when you're in front of a store and there's people kind of walking in front of you, you used to kind of do the hurry along, scoot, and now these days that's gone. They just kind of meander and mosey and really don't mind if I don't know, that would be enough.

[Adam Carolla]

People. Listen, I blame the personal, whatever devices that everyone has, not for distracting us, but for just turning us into our own little self sustained ecosystem that we walk around in all day, every day. I mean, I see people crossing the street and they're like leaning backwards, like it's painfully slow how much they're doing. And I say this to my wife all the time. Like when someone's not turning right on a red or they're just driving down the highway and they're going 28 and a 35 and they're not moving anywhere, I honk at them and she goes, oh, don't be rude. Like, why are you honking them?

[Brian Bishop]

Wake up, honk.

[Adam Carolla]

I said, look, what if you were in a rush and you were walking down the sidewalk and as you're in a rush, there was someone who was just doing some window shopping, they just stuck their arms out and they're like, no, slow down, you'll go at my pace. That'd be the rudest thing in the world. You couldn't even imagine it. But there's a version of that that takes place on the streets. This nation's highways and byways.

[Brian Bishop]

Balls.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't even know what a byway is, but I think it's a highway.

[Brian Bishop]

It's being affected.

[Adam Carolla]

It fucks freeways and highways. I don't know what a byway is. I don't know what it is. But on the highways and byways of America right now, as we speak, there's somebody that's walking too slow crossing one place, Someone who's driving too slow or out of it or not turning right on a red. I used to jog across the street. That's how we were taught. You just, you ran. Like as a kid, you looked left, right, then left again, and then you ran across the street, right?

[Brian Bishop]

Yes. Get your ass across the street.

[Allison Rosen]

I saw a play at the Geffen Playhouse and apparently the only people that go to theater are 90 year olds and my husband and me. And it was the intermission. No, Was it? I can't remember. No, no, it was before the show started and they'd already flashed the Light. So there was like five minutes left. Went to the bathroom, was trying to rush to get to my seat, but I was trapped behind two old ladies who were like creating a cap on the hallway. Anyway, they were wedge blocking.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

And I was right up behind. I was tailgating them with my body.

[Adam Carolla]

I know there's sometimes. You ever drive and there's two people or three people on the freeway and it's 65 and the three people are going 53, and they're right next to each other the whole time. And I'm always like, illusion. Do you retard. Assholes. Do you guys know each other? Do you fucking know each other? Or are we doing a roll and start and you're on the grid and we're waiting for the green flag to drop. Like, what the fuck is going on? Don't drive. They're driving door handle to door handle all the way across three lanes for the last four off ramps.

[Allison Rosen]

Synchronized driving.

[Adam Carolla]

Fucking speed up or slow down or do something. And by the way, the guy behind you with the xenons on that's going left or right, trying to scrub a little heat into his tires. You're not noticing that, any of you?

[Allison Rosen]

That was me on feet, though.

[Caller/Guest]

Yes.

[Brian Bishop]

Behind Old ladies of the playoffs.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm just saying. Let's wake up, people. Let's jog across the street. I love that. I love the jog. I love the simultaneous wave with the jog. Last time we played San Francisco, some chick was just crossing, you know, look, if you're elderly or you have some issue, that's one thing. Still not tandem. In an aisle of a movie house, never. Excuse. But crossing the street, if you got a walker, you're old, whatever, fine. But if you're young and you're able bodied, fucking wake up.

[Brian Bishop]

That's right.

[Adam Carolla]

Break into a goddamn jog, would you? All right. I'll tell you what I love. Meundies.com. these guys are great. It took me a long time to figure out, you got to take that undies drawer and you gotta.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, cycle.

[Adam Carolla]

You gotta cycle every once in a while. Yeah. Me undies, they are comfortable. I'm wearing them right now. But it's nice, actually.

[Brian Bishop]

As am I, by the way.

[Caller/Guest]

Are you.

[Brian Bishop]

We don't talk about this ahead of time. We don't, like, plan the ads out before the show.

[Caller/Guest]

I am, too.

[Adam Carolla]

No, what I am. I'll tell you what's nice about these

[Allison Rosen]

are all wearing one pair.

[Brian Bishop]

Prove it.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right. Meundies, which I like. You guys tell me if you're with me on this, the regular sort of underpants, they're good for, you know, leaving the house and stuff. But then later on that night, when I'm going to skip some rope, I need a little more support down there.

[Brian Bishop]

Okay?

[Adam Carolla]

See what I'm saying?

[Brian Bishop]

I like. They don't lose their elasticity. They're not bunching up.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. They give the support on the leg. They don't ride up the leg. They give the support on the man parts down there. And even for the first time ever use the flap on the front. I've never done that before. I don't know why, but it works, right? On Meundies. Anyway, Meundies.com keeps you cool, keeps you nice down there. I dumped a little talc down there. I get multiple wearings out of the same pair. Anyway, go to MeUndies.com, adam. You get 20% off your first order. Free shipping and all that good stuff. Save even more when you buy a pack. Yeah, they send over some. We've all put them on here, and they work really nice. They're guaranteed you will be happy or your first pair is going to be free. That's Meundies.com, adam for 20% off. All right. Going to some news. Should we do some news?

[Brian Bishop]

Let's do it.

[Allison Rosen]

Let's do it.

[Adam Carolla]

The news with Allison Rosen. She'll read some news from her iPad. Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad.

[Promo Voice]

It's Allison.

[Caller/Guest]

Allison.

[Adam Carolla]

And when it's time to wrap it up, she'll sign it off with zip it Cut. It's Allison.

[Gina Grad]

Allison.

[Allison Rosen]

So I'm now on fertility drugs, and this is breaking news. You'll see it covered everywhere. And the doctor told me that I could expect hot flashes, vaginal dryness, and you might burst into tears or just feel like you're going crazy. So if you do, that's why. So now I feel like I'm waiting for a storm to hit. I could go crazy or start crying in the middle of the news or experience vaginal dryness.

[Adam Carolla]

That's all good.

[Allison Rosen]

Pot and drop a bunch of eggs. Anything could happen.

[Brian Bishop]

We have two live shows on Saturday, and.

[Allison Rosen]

I know, and I feel like that's, like, the prime zone of when it's really gonna hit.

[Brian Bishop]

God willing.

[Adam Carolla]

Are you getting shot?

[Allison Rosen]

No. This is. It's called Clomid. It's pills.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, okay.

[Allison Rosen]

No, it's not. I'm not doing IVF yet. This is the thing before. I know that you said just go straight to ivf, which I think is Wise. However, IVF is so expensive that I want to exhaust. So expensive. And it's kind of brutal on your

[Adam Carolla]

body that I want to exhaust just

[Allison Rosen]

a couple months before that.

[Adam Carolla]

I know. It's just one of those things that's sort of like. It's like homeopathic remedies and stuff. Like. Like, it's great, but if you really want the shit that works, you got to go. The shit that works.

[Allison Rosen]

I think so.

[Adam Carolla]

But the problem is you do have to in life. I mean, not just in terms of childbearing, but just in every facet of life. You have to. Even though if you know you're going to end up at C, you still have to go through B just to say you went through B on the

[Allison Rosen]

way to C. It really is kind of a financial decision. It's a financial. And a note wanting to have shots and procedures if I can avoid it because there's my progesterone. Hi. Here's a lot of information. Progesterone is a little bit low. Like, they said that I'm a question mark. They don't exactly know why I'm not getting pregnant because he keeps putting it in the butt. But they don't think it's that.

[Adam Carolla]

They tell. That's the one you get. I'll tell you what they need to do. Here's what they need to do. And then I'm. I'm pretty serious about this one. Once you get into the. Whatever it is, the fake kid making. Like once you hit the lab with the kids, you start implanting things and eggs and embryos.

[Brian Bishop]

We start doing chemistry.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ivf. Yeah. When you get into that, you end up with multiples all the time.

[Allison Rosen]

The stuff I'm taking now has a 6%, a 0% chance of getting you pregnant. But if you do, 6% chance of twins.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, so. So you get multiples, you get into triplets. And that's why everybody like me, like Dr. Drew, like whomever had the twins, had the triplets. Stephanie Wilder Taylor, Stephanie Wilder Taylor, my wife's partner, and all that. They all have. That's what happens. Okay, so everyone wants to get pregnant. I don't think most.

[Allison Rosen]

I don't if I can avoid it. I'd rather not have two at once.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay, so there you go. So let me say this pregnancy, I'll break it down this way, and we'll see if we think this makes sense. 90% of people that want to get pregnant don't want twins. They want one child. 10% probably wouldn't mind twins, but I'll say 90% want a single child. It's just a waste of my time. When it comes to triplets, we're now beneath single digits. And single digit. I mean, it's probably 0.5 of women

[Allison Rosen]

who say, Nadia Suleman.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Who say, yeah, aktamon. Like, 0.5% of women who say, I would like to get pregnant. If we said, would you like triplets? They would say, no. So because people who go through this process end up with multiples at alarmingly high rate, they should donate one of those triplets. Somebody who's currently having difficulty siring a child.

[Brian Bishop]

Okay.

[Allison Rosen]

The fully baked. Like, here's an infant, as opposed to

[Adam Carolla]

the egg, fully baked.

[Allison Rosen]

It's not a bad idea.

[Adam Carolla]

Fully baked.

[Allison Rosen]

I mean, it could become a bad idea. When down the line, everyone wants that

[Adam Carolla]

baby back, everything becomes a bad idea.

[Allison Rosen]

Starts out a great idea, though.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Gunpowder was great at the beginning. The Internet. It all used to be good. It all becomes bad at a certain point.

[Allison Rosen]

Which one would Drew give away?

[Adam Carolla]

At a certain point, I'd have to say Douglas or I probably shouldn't name names. But what I do now for sure. Douglas. Yeah. Well, because he's got, you know, two boys.

[Brian Bishop]

Yep.

[Adam Carolla]

He's got one girl, so the girl's safe, you know, because it's kind of a gin. Gin rummy hand, you know. Got one of those.

[Brian Bishop]

You got the spare?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Got spare boy. And, you know, Douglas is no Jordan. Let's just face it. Everyone said he'd be the first to tell you. I like when people say that he would. No. I don't know why I think. I don't know where Jordan is. But I think Drew said he was bringing Douglas to the Christmas party. I do believe so. I'll break the news to him what I do now. You gotta crawl up, Allison,

[Caller/Guest]

or.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, no. He could probably show up.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. I don't think I have to go through the whole rigamarole.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, you don't have to do.

[Allison Rosen]

I think for bonding purposes, if I could give birth to him, especially given how old he is at this point, it would really help me feel like his mother. I think we kind of need some of the.

[Adam Carolla]

I have to check into how that works with his high school playing eligibility.

[Brian Bishop]

Okay.

[Adam Carolla]

Because he's had a few years. True, he's a good ball player, but if he's reborn, if he did get

[Brian Bishop]

birthed again, that should all kick in again.

[Adam Carolla]

I would argue he could get out there and play.

[Brian Bishop]

He could kick some serious ass.

[Adam Carolla]

And certainly the Pee wee league. Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

Spelling bees.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

Perfect.

[Adam Carolla]

Be perfect. Little overachiever.

[Brian Bishop]

Allison.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. So everybody. Lynette was pregnant with triplets, and it was like, oh, shit. And then they give you the reduce, which is basically the clinical version. Yeah. It's. Well, what previously owned is to use cars. It's a nice way of saying somebody else had it first. And it's like, you want to abort one of these. And then it's like, wait a minute. We're spending all this time and all this money trying to have kids, and now we're going to abort one of those kids? And then they give you all these statistics which are like, well, there's three. One of them, it looks like, is 50.

[Caller/Guest]

50.

[Adam Carolla]

The other looks like a 20% chance. And then the other is. Yeah, the stats are.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

There's so much math and paper and handouts and things with numbers that you're like, I don't know how to process this in a human way.

[Adam Carolla]

Then there is no other thing in life. It'd be great. It's a great business to get into. Because if you're a roofer, it's not like someone's cutting you a check and you're going, now, don't get your hopes up. Probably not gonna get a new roof put on that place.

[Brian Bishop]

40% chance at best.

[Adam Carolla]

Probably. Maybe. Maybe.

[Allison Rosen]

Oh, your age.

[Adam Carolla]

Ooh, I want to manage your roofing expectations by telling you and your husband, oh, keep writing the check. And by the way, well, I'll come back for a second check. There's not going to be. Probably not going to be a new roof on your place. Probably not. But just keep riding. Yeah. And then just come back the next day, pick up some more checks, and you go, yeah, the whole roof thing, that it may work. It's hard to tell. And keep writing the check. Imagine if prostitution worked that way. Like, maybe there's a blowjob in your future. I don't know. But keep peeling off those 20s, and

[Brian Bishop]

you gotta pay all up front. Unlike, catch a contractor. Pay it all up front.

[Adam Carolla]

All up front. But do not get your hopes up for that blowjob. It's probably not gonna happen. And I'm telling you now like, they're heroes. Like, they're gonna. I'm just. I don't want. I'd hate to keep peeling the 20s. I'd hate for you to think you're gonna get a blowjob and then be upset by not getting a blowjob. Better you should have a mindset of not go, keep the 20s rolling off the wad there.

[Allison Rosen]

Cause stress is bad for blowjobs, too.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right.

[Allison Rosen]

The study just came out of Japan.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right. That's right. All goes to my jaw, so there's a lot of that. But I do like this thing where if somebody. Somebody said, look, you wanted one kid. You now have triplets. That's what happened to Dr. Drew. There should be a service where for

[Brian Bishop]

I'll sell a free market.

[Adam Carolla]

Mm. Plenty of people out there. I mean, it's all ended up in the same clinic. All right, well, I don't know how to say it other than it all seems to work out. I don't know why the odds are stacked against you. Statistically, it's never gonna.

[Brian Bishop]

It's gonna be a miserable experience.

[Adam Carolla]

It's gonna be everything heartbreaking.

[Allison Rosen]

If I see spots, I'm supposed to call the doctor.

[Adam Carolla]

It all works out somehow. I don't know how. I couldn't be happier that I had a boy, girl, twins. I couldn't be happier with the boy.

[Allison Rosen]

Now, do you mean it all works out like, you. Alison, will get pregnant eventually, or do you mean it all works out that, like, the universe gives you what you need?

[Brian Bishop]

Not the first one,

[Promo Voice]

because they're both.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know.

[Allison Rosen]

Like, you know, everyone's kind of true.

[Adam Carolla]

But people always say, like, well, are you ever sad that you left Loveline or that you didn't stay with this person or you didn't finish this or become a lawyer like your dad or whatever the story is? And my answer for any of that is, how would you know? Like, I don't know. I didn't live that life. I didn't. It's like saying you didn't step off the curb and you would have been hit by the bus, but you didn't get hit by the bus. So how do you know? Like, it's one of those things. And I know it sounds like I'm going in a circle here, but what I'm saying is, this will be successful or this will not be successful, or you will have a single child, or you'll have multiple children. But either way, when you stop and look back on this period of your life, ten years from now, you will say, that's how it should have went, because it's how it went. And I know it sounds way too philosophical, and you think, yeah, but what if I look back and I don't have any kids in that period of time? It's still how it should have went or how it was supposed to go,

[Allison Rosen]

I know what you mean, and I agree with you. And in general, that is. Has always been my feeling about the world. And I mean, obviously I'm not religious at all, but I do. I had faith in the universe in a greater sense at one point. But I have to say, since losing my dog when he was so young, in a way that was so upsetting, that's been shaken. Now I just feel like, I don't know, maybe one day I can get to a point where I can look back on that and see that as like there was some way that everything kind of worked together and that made sense. But for now, it's just like, that was just a senseless, sad thing. The world is a fucked place.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, no, for everybody. Every senseless good thing, there's a senseless, sad thing. You try to keep them at a minimum. But here's my question to all of you. Who do you know who wanted children? Whether it was through medical procedures or adoption or just good old fashioned missionary sexual. Who do you know who wanted children, who didn't have children, who couldn't? Who Basically, you know that couple that's 55 and go, well, we tried everything. We tried adoption, we tried Dana Gould's method of going to China and getting a young girl. We tried all.

[Allison Rosen]

Raising one of Dr. Drew's kids.

[Adam Carolla]

Raising one of Dr. Drew'S kids.

[Allison Rosen]

You're right.

[Adam Carolla]

I fit my mind. I know couples that never had children. And you ask them and they're like, we like to travel. We just didn't want. We just didn't want children. There's couples that didn't want children that had children, like my parents, but I don't know that they ended up with fucking kids, sadly. But who do you know? Like, I know people that don't have children, Dawson. You don't have children, but you're not looking to have children, right? And then there's people that want children. But who's that group that when they stop and sort of look back on their life and they go, especially now. I mean, Obviously in the 1800s, there are probably plenty of them, but people went, I really wanted children. And the greatest loss for my husband and myself is that we always long to have a child and we never could work it out.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah, you don't hear that story.

[Adam Carolla]

I've never heard that story. So since you never hear that story, you are not gonna be that person. And so you will try and it will work. And if it doesn't work, you'll end up adopting or doing what have You. And at point someone will ask you, could you imagine there'll be a point where you have that little girl from China and you'll be saying to Daniel, thank God the whatever didn't work because.

[Allison Rosen]

Because fuck white babies.

[Adam Carolla]

Fuck white babies.

[Brian Bishop]

Too many of them.

[Adam Carolla]

Could we have. Could you imagine having a life without our little princess here or somebody else? See what I'm saying? Well, there you go.

[Allison Rosen]

That's nice. Okay, thank you.

[Adam Carolla]

Trying to get that egg to drop.

[Allison Rosen]

Multiple eggs.

[Adam Carolla]

What do I do now? Like ketchup bottle, man crates, baby. Showing my range now. Good stuff, man crates. Oh, man, the holidays coming around. They got stuff guys like, man. They got the beef jerky, got the video games, you got the team logos on the beer glasses. They're all packed in wooden crates and they come with a crowbar and you pry it open. It's visceral. Man, it feels good. Ships right to your door. You can find great gifts for every type of guy. They got the whiskey drinkers, you got the bacon lovers, you got the football fans. By the way, check, check and check. Oh, I'd like a bacon and football flavored whiskey.

[Brian Bishop]

I didn't see it going that way, but I'm on board.

[Adam Carolla]

Little bit of a pigskin flavor.

[Kelly James]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Smokey, Smokey. Same factory chewy. Don't throw that out. We need that. It's going in the whiskey vat. Yeah, the laser etched names and your pint glasses, it's all Good. Go to mancrates.com Adam right now. Find the perfect gift for the guy in your life, the guy on your list. That's mancrates.com Adam. All right, what else we got?

[Allison Rosen]

There's been another movie that is now affected by all this interview madness and that is Team America. Certain theaters decided they would show Team America instead of the Interview as a replacement. But now one by one, they are pulling Team America saying that they won't play that. So Cleveland's Capitol Theater canceled its screening. Texas Alamo Drafthouse said it had to pull its plans to screen Team America, quote, due to circumstances beyond our control.

[Adam Carolla]

Boy named after the Alamo, huh? And pussing out.

[Brian Bishop]

Wow, Fine. How do you do to all those

[Adam Carolla]

people wonder if the great John Wayne, who's there himself at the Alamo.

[Brian Bishop]

Pretty sure he was.

[Adam Carolla]

Pretty sure he was right next to Fess Parker, the guy who played Davy Crockett. That's right.

[Brian Bishop]

They were all there.

[Adam Carolla]

They were all there. I wonder how they would feel. Probably rolling over in their graves or urns.

[Brian Bishop]

The original Team America.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right. Fess Parker and John Wayne.

[Brian Bishop]

That's right. You ever see Team America?

[Adam Carolla]

I think I have.

[Brian Bishop]

Pretty funny movie.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. All that stuff's good. All that Matt and Trey stuff is good. So isn't. Now, somebody said that there was something with Clint Eastwood and American Sniper too. That or as well. I shouldn't say too, but I heard something just out of the corner of my ear like when I was brushing my teeth this morning on the radio that American Sniper. Which show now? Which shows. It's going to show American Sniper shooting a lot of people doing what American Snipers do. Doing what American Snipers do is not going to make us a lot of friends around the world either when that bad boy comes out, but. But either way, can't we fucking tell North Korea to fuck off? Can we take a stand here? What's going on?

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, the first domino fell really quickly, and now it's all just kind of out of control now.

[Allison Rosen]

Everyone seems nervous, I think. Was it. Did Matt Achity mention. I feel like someone mentioned that there was a Steve Carell movie that takes place in North Korea that was planned and that's been canceled.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, really? Now? It's been. The filming has been canceled.

[Allison Rosen]

That's my understanding.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay. Did Clint Eastwood have anything to do with the American Sniper? Am I making that up?

[Brian Bishop]

He directed it.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, okay. He directed it. He posted something or phoned somebody or said something, and I don't know what it was.

[Brian Bishop]

Don't know either.

[Allison Rosen]

Well, plenty of Hollywood.

[Adam Carolla]

He called Obama's chair and he spoke to him personally.

[Brian Bishop]

Some stern words.

[Adam Carolla]

Fucking stern words for his dinette set. Yeah, he's pissed. He's yelling at chairs all over the south line.

[Allison Rosen]

A lot of Hollywood actors have come out and slammed Sony for scrapping the movie. Ben Stiller, Steve Carell, Rob Lowe, Jimmy Kimmel, Judd Apatow are just a few. But Rob Lowe tweeted this. Saw Seth Rogen at jfk. So Rob Lowe, who has a small part in the interview, saw Seth Rogen at jfk. Both of us have never seen or heard of anything like this. Hollywood has done Neville Chamberlain proud today. Neville Chamberlain, famous for being an appeaser in World War II.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, he's. Yeah, he's the guy who went over and spoke to Hitler and then came back to Britain and went, he's cool.

[Brian Bishop]

We're all good.

[Adam Carolla]

We're all good.

[Brian Bishop]

So talk to the guy.

[Adam Carolla]

It's all good.

[Brian Bishop]

Worked it out.

[Adam Carolla]

No problem. Cyr. Carry on.

[Allison Rosen]

Judd Apatow said, I think it is disgraceful that these theaters are not showing the interview. Will they pull any movie that gets an anonymous threat? Now that's the thing.

[Brian Bishop]

You think North Korea or whoever North Korea realized just how easy this whole thing would be? Like there's a veiled, you know, shaking the fist in the air and all of a sudden it's like, oh, that's all it took. It's like robbing a bank with a note.

[Allison Rosen]

Hang on, though. If, if all of the hacking hadn't happened, but they had just made threats regarding the movie showing on Christmas, do you think that this would be pulled? I mean, to me it's like, it's the whole combination of it. It's like we don't know how infiltrated these people are. I think that is adding to the fear.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, it makes you wonder how infiltrated we are. It makes you wonder what they have and what Sony knows. Like what else did they find when they were hacking that we don't know about, that has not been released that could be used? Who knows? If somebody said, hey, pull that movie or whatever else. We're sitting on a cache of stuff that we hacked. And by the way, I would imagine if you hacked. And by the way, I'm not a computer expert. I'm a knife thrower and a good second story man. So when they get the band together, I'm the guy, second story guy with the knife throwing.

[Brian Bishop]

But you're not a computer expert.

[Adam Carolla]

No, that's the super hot Chinese chick. She's the computer expert.

[Brian Bishop]

She's good.

[Adam Carolla]

So we could ask her. But either way, if I hacked somebody and I had a bunch of good information, I would let that information out. I'd probably work small to big.

[Allison Rosen]

You don't want to blow your wad right away.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right. I wouldn't be dropping the bombshell, the big stuff early. I'd be letting out like a fireworks show. You know, you send up the stuff and then you got the crescendo save the finale. Just makes you wonder what they know, what they possess, what they've hacked, and what Sony knows they know because this seems like a pretty weak move. On the other hand, if somebody said, I got a whole bunch of shit that's gonna fuck you up a lot more than you pulling this movie if there wasn't. Look, in Hollywood, their deals cut all the time. Who knows what kind of deal was cut here? I don't know. I mean, this is all speculation, but they hacked a whole bunch of stuff. Have we seen it all?

[Allison Rosen]

I don't think.

[Adam Carolla]

Is there a lot more to Come. Is there stuff that we'll never see because they agreed to do this? I don't know.

[Allison Rosen]

Here's further speculation. Movies or studios take out insurance on a movie, don't they?

[Adam Carolla]

I think so, yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

Could that be part of the reason that they're not doing any sort of video on demand releases, that if it doesn't get a release, maybe they can collect on their insurance?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Sort of like burning down your own warehouse.

[Brian Bishop]

Right?

[Adam Carolla]

Well, there is one super happy American. Who's that? Bill Cosby. Bill Cosby is home right now just roofing himself and beating off, going, thank God, the Christmas miracle. Fucking. We've taken an afternoon off of talking about the Kaz raping to talk about this. And he's like, keep it going. He's probably tweeting under some pseudonym, you know, this is an outrage NK hacker. That's right, dude. Keep it.

[Brian Bishop]

Watch out, guys.

[Adam Carolla]

Keep it going. Keep coming, keep it going. This is a full 34 hours of people of the lead of every story. Not well, Bill raped someone else. We have another model who wants to speak out about this. Like, how fucking elated is Bill Cosby right now?

[Brian Bishop]

Poor Gloria Allred.

[Adam Carolla]

And it just. Yeah, it's such a timing with all this shit. Because it was like, slow news, slow news, slow news. Cosby, New Cosby victim. New Cosby story every day for 17 days. And then. Oop, it's gone.

[Brian Bishop]

There you go.

[Adam Carolla]

And when you go back three years from now and you go, what happened during that period of time? You go, that's a whole Sony hack thing, right? Didn't Cosby, like, rape a North Korean or something?

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, he hacked some North Korean websites.

[Adam Carolla]

He hacked into some websites, some porn sites in North Korea.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, a teenage girl with him doing it. I don't remember exactly.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, no, I think Seth Rogen was.

[Brian Bishop]

No, it was Rob Lowe. Dude. It was Rob Lowe.

[Promo Voice]

He was.

[Brian Bishop]

He was at the airport with another.

[Adam Carolla]

No, no, sorry. Seth Franco.

[Brian Bishop]

Okay.

[Adam Carolla]

Hacked in to Joe Rogan's Bill Cosby file. Anyway, I'll have another beer. Let's move on. That's kind of how our minds will this. That's how this plays out. So. So, happiest man in America, Bill Cosby.

[Allison Rosen]

Once again, Seth Rogen and James Franco now apparently have gigantic round the clock bodyguards. And they both apparently aren't the kind of guys who would have had bodyguards before James Franco used to take the subway. They're sort of just out and about. Or they were, but no more.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, we always. Giant black men gotta be black. Gotta be black. Gotta be giant, gotta be bald, gotta be black. I think the theory with bodyguards is if we can hire enough bodyguards, we will essentially take off the streets. All the guys who would have attacked you, they'll be protecting you. Put them on payroll. Put them on the payroll. That's right.

[Brian Bishop]

Savvy?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. So he has giant black men surrounding him. I feel like. Tell me if you guys feel this way. If you're trying to fly under the radar, don't you want the 185 pound white guy who's been doing mixed martial arts for like the last 17 years so that you're not? Everyone's not looking at who's in the middle of the huge circle of giant black men.

[Brian Bishop]

Yes. But I'm 90% sure it was on this podcast we learned from somebody who was in Japan that the Asians are obsessed with giant black men. Everybody's like, walking through like this reach

[Adam Carolla]

of Japan, they're like, oh, yeah, yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

Was it like Uriah? We had someone named your eye favorite.

[Brian Bishop]

Was that who it was?

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

MMA's URI favorite.

[Brian Bishop]

I think the big black man sends

[Adam Carolla]

a message to the Asian community, let me tell you. Is it Jim Sapp? Who's the giant? There's a guy named Sapp. Bob Sapp. I think it's Bob Sapp, not Warren. Now he dwarfs Warren.

[Brian Bishop]

Warren Sapp, probably 6ft tall, 300 pounds.

[Adam Carolla]

This guy's more like 6, 7, 4, 425. But I've said this many times, if my son Santino turns out to be a giant black man, go to fucking Japan.

[Brian Bishop]

Yep.

[Adam Carolla]

They'll fucking worship you over there. Yeah. When you see a picture of Bob,

[Allison Rosen]

how soon that'll happen?

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know. I don't have a fucking crystal ball.

[Brian Bishop]

Jesus.

[Adam Carolla]

All right. You seen a picture of Bob Sapp?

[Brian Bishop]

Good Lord, I've never seen this person before.

[Adam Carolla]

He's a giant black man. Yes, he is. Who's not particularly good at MMA or wrestling or anything else. I mean, you'd think he would, but he gets beat up by 225 pound guys quite frequently.

[Brian Bishop]

He looks cartoonish.

[Adam Carolla]

He went to Japan to be worshiped.

[Allison Rosen]

Smart.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Why not? Fucking get, you know, all the hot, young nubile pussy you want. You get paid in raw fish. It's awesome. It's a good life.

[Allison Rosen]

That is the.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, yeah. Yeah. So, you know, like I said, I don't have a crystal ball, but if Sonny turns out to be Bob SAP size and black, if that happens, I'll drive him to Japan myself. Drop him off.

[Brian Bishop]

Drop him right off.

[Adam Carolla]

Throw him right out of the fucking car. Tell him, get busy getting that fish boy.

[Brian Bishop]

Get out of here, because I gotta get home.

[Adam Carolla]

I get back, peel away, tear out, out of the car.

[Allison Rosen]

How do you keep your raw fish money?

[Adam Carolla]

Well, that's a good question. I think you just eat it as you go. Like a sea lion at an amusement park. You know what I mean? I don't know how it works. I don't claim to know. I just, you know, I know what I know, that much I know. All right.

[Allison Rosen]

Have you been following the story of Stephen Collins, who played Reverend Camden on 7th Heaven?

[Adam Carolla]

He's excited about this whole revelation as well. Well, first he was excited about Bill Cosby, right? Now he's super pumped about the interview.

[Brian Bishop]

He's like, keep it going.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, now run it up. Oh, shit. I should have Talked to Seth MacFarlane about this, right? Wasn't he in Ted 2, or am I making that up?

[Allison Rosen]

He had a role in Ted 2 and it got cut. I mean, he got let go of it once this came to light.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, they replaced him.

[Adam Carolla]

I think they replaced him. Well, it's weird because Seth's been working on that for a while. I mean, this came out a few months back.

[Brian Bishop]

Okay.

[Adam Carolla]

He was in a therapist's office. His wife recorded him.

[Allison Rosen]

How did that guy. Yeah, secret recording of him and his wife in a therapist's office. So he admitted to inappropriate sexual copy contact with three female minors. He wrote a piece for People magazine. But anyway, we have a couple audio clips from this secret recording that was in the therapist's office.

[Brian Bishop]

The.

[Adam Carolla]

The exposure happened a couple of times. A couple of times? You told me once. No, I said on the list it happened several times. Said on the mis.

[Allison Rosen]

So exposure. And then there's another.

[Adam Carolla]

How's that conversation, by the way? On the way out to the car after the therapist session. Who's up for Pinkberry?

[Brian Bishop]

You know, that does sound good. I wanted to ask you something about something that I mentioned in there.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

Not about Pinkberry.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Well, I'll tell you what would taste really good about now. The crushed up Oreos on top of the.

[Brian Bishop]

That would sound very good. Multiple times with the exposure. Multiple times.

[Adam Carolla]

You know how sometimes when your blood sugar gets so low that you can't even really talk?

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

That's me right now.

[Brian Bishop]

Okay. So we can have this conversation over some Pinkberry.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

Okay.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I'm gonna be sitting outside. You should be inside where it's warm.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, how can we have a conversation about the multiple occasions of inappropriate touching.

[Adam Carolla]

Just eat the fucking frozen yogurt, bitch. Okay, thank you.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah, so there's another clip,

[Adam Carolla]

but how did you. Like there was one instance.

[Lori Grenier]

What?

[Adam Carolla]

There was one instance where for. There was one moment of touching where her hand. I put her hand on my penis. You put her hand on my.

[Caller/Guest]

Now.

[Brian Bishop]

But that.

[Adam Carolla]

Pinkberry, how the. Now. Well, first off, how old were these people?

[Allison Rosen]

They were, I think, 11, 12 and 13 or thereabouts. And here's my. He claims that he hasn't had the urge to do this in 20 years. But do people dabble in this? That's always what my sense is, that if you're into it, you are into it.

[Adam Carolla]

No, it's like we talk about with murder. It's like a very small percentage of the population does it. Do it often and they sort of travel around and it happens, but it's not. No, it's fucking impossible.

[Allison Rosen]

I mean, he's talking. He says that on the recordings. He's talking about events that took place 20, 32 and 40 years ago. So this is a long time ago. Right, but still.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, look, there's something called experimenting, I guess when you're a teenager or adolescent, but once you're an adult male.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. 11, 12. That's a child.

[Adam Carolla]

It doesn't sound. I mean, so what was he. Was he 30 years old? Was he 25 years old? I mean, when the first one went down, how old he is now?

[Allison Rosen]

But yeah, I'm gonna guess he was. Well, okay, so one of the incidents. The incidents happened between 1973 and 1994.

[Adam Carolla]

It's a pretty good span for something you're not into, right?

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

That's a good 21 years in there. No, look, you're into this. Look, whatever you're into, you're into. If you're gay, you're gay. And if you're not gay, there's no. I could see myself. Right circumstances, the right guy, right fella came along. No, it's just you're not. It makes too. To straight guys, it doesn't make sense. If you're gay, you could be nothing else. It's just what it is with everything. And I would say when it comes to sexuality, that is locked in more than just about anything else in life. So that's something he's into.

[Allison Rosen]

He's 67, so this didn't happen when he was super young.

[Adam Carolla]

So we should get him and the cause and Michael Richards together and it just record the whole thing.

[Brian Bishop]

Poor Michael Richards. How do you get lumped into this?

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I'M just saying, the guys that have just completely destroyed their careers through their actions or their words. So are they going to pursue legal, whatever, statutes of limitations and all that kind of good stuff?

[Allison Rosen]

But there's divorce proceedings happening right now, so that's why this is coming out.

[Adam Carolla]

Uh huh. And he was recorded in the therapist's office?

[Gina Grad]

Yes.

[Allison Rosen]

And the wife said that she didn't release it.

[Adam Carolla]

Mm.

[Allison Rosen]

TMZ got it.

[Brian Bishop]

Is that Sony hackers?

[Adam Carolla]

Shouldn't that. I don't know. Is the therapist's office kind of international waters?

[Allison Rosen]

It should be.

[Brian Bishop]

Unless a crime's been committed, right? I don't know. I don't know what the.

[Allison Rosen]

Oh, yeah, I don't.

[Brian Bishop]

The lies.

[Allison Rosen]

You're right. A therapist has. If they know of a crime or that a crime's going to happen, I do believe they have to call the cops, something like that, right?

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, yeah. Ask the Menendez brothers. Yeah, because one of them went in there and spilled the beans to the therapist and the therapist dropped the dime on whatever, Lyle or whoever. But I don't even know if they would have caught the Menendez brothers because they had hadn't formally caught them and they weren't. I don't know if they were on the list of suspects. It seemed so insane that somebody would do this to their parents, take them out with a shotgun this way. And it was sort of like gruesome and whatever. I don't know if they were on the list and then one of them told their therapist and then their therapist dropped the dime. So that's what happened. Ah. If you want to drop a dime, do it at DraftKings. The list of millionaires crowned grows every [e-mail] this season. It just keeps growing bigger and bigger. You could be next. Brian, how you doing?

[Brian Bishop]

Good. I drafted a lineup earlier today and you're always looking for value, good value at your picks. You gotta pick some studs, obviously, spend some money, but then you gotta fill it out with some value. Look at Mark Ingram against the Falcons. Not a very good run defense. And Alex Smith at quarterback. He's playing Pittsburgh, which has given up a lot of points to quarterbacks. He had a few good weeks in a row, so a couple good value picks there.

[Adam Carolla]

Who's he playing for? Kc.

[Brian Bishop]

Kc Plenty of potential for both teams. So they're both playing Dwindles.

[Adam Carolla]

America's favorite one week fantasy football site takes watching football to a whole new level. One guy put in 10, got back five grand. Another guy put in two, got 10 back. New millionaires Made nearly every week this [e-mail] Dawson, head over to DraftKings.com now and use promo code Adam to play for free in the $10 million fantasy football world championships. DraftKings.com bigger events, bigger winnings, bigger millionaires. Enter Adam now for DraftKings.com that's DraftKings.com all right, what else we got?

[Caller/Guest]

One more.

[Allison Rosen]

All right, well, San Pedro's Harbor House of Dank marijuana dispensary. I'm sure you're familiar with it.

[Brian Bishop]

Harbor House of Dank.

[Allison Rosen]

Harbor House of Dank marijuana dispensary had a window painting of Santa smoking pot.

[Adam Carolla]

Uh huh.

[Allison Rosen]

And people were not happy with this. I'm sorry, I'm looking at his face right now and have you noticed that his note, this particular Santa we're looking at, his nose and his cheek together look like a set of balls.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, he has a cock. Well, maybe even a cock and ball. But he's also black or Hispanic or brown.

[Brian Bishop]

For sure.

[Allison Rosen]

It's a dark Santa.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Mm.

[Brian Bishop]

Tan Santa.

[Allison Rosen]

Anyway, residents in the town were upset about painting because children could see it.

[Adam Carolla]

Mm.

[Allison Rosen]

It's not really clear what he's doing.

[Brian Bishop]

Could be a Cuban cigar recently imported under new laws.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right. I wonder if they were up kite over color. Here's the thing now with like Red Dead Redemption or whatever those video games are, where everyone's holding a shotgun at everyone and everything's out there and it's just. Look, unfortunately we're all just gonna have to raise our own kids now because it's game on in terms of society. You know, I'm going to have to tell my kid, look, Santa's smoking a doobie and there's a crazy broad with her dog on a plane. That doesn't make it okay for you. That's what we're now. And we should always be that way. I mean, you're in charge of raising your kids, instilling those values. And when you have. The thing I like about Red Dead Redemption is they're holding a sawed off shotgun at you. Not in the air, at the pedestrian or motorist who's walking under the sign. I'm not an uptight person, but you couldn't have a topless woman in Times Square up on an 80 foot billboard. Why are we allowed to have. Why are we allowed to have the brolin kid holding a shotgun at us? Is this scary, threatening, weird, violent, all that? Yes. It doesn't seem to be any standards in that department. Yeah. Anyway, so there's Josh Brolin holding a sawed off shotgun at you as you walk up and down the street.

[Brian Bishop]

He looks good.

[Adam Carolla]

Mm. In terms of just like. I like to discuss that sort of general gray depression that we all get through. Hearing about news stories of terrorists beheading camera crews and school kids and aforementioned freeway barbed wire around the signs and just graffiti everywhere and shotguns being pointed at us. I believe there's an overall collective sort of depression. Yes. That kicks in. It's the same way that if every. It's the same reason you're in a good mood when you walk through Disneyland.

[Brian Bishop]

Right?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. You don't ride every ride. You don't ride 20% of the rides you walk past beautiful rides. Everything's floral and clean and people are manicured and happy and everything else. And you get this general feeling. So if psychologically like you do.

[Caller/Guest]

Small world.

[Adam Carolla]

You sit in a little boat and you go through it, but you don't get out and actually fuck around in the small world. Like there's no business to be taken care of in the small world. It'd be awesome. You pass through it and you see everyone's holding hands and singing and there's a lot of pastel colors flying around and you go, oh, I'm now in a good mood. All right, so if we understand the concept of walking through Disneyland and being put in a good mood, even as a parent, when you go through there and you don't even ride half the shit anymore, you're just walking your kid through there, but you're smelling all the popcorn and you're hearing all the calliope sounds and you're seeing all the visuals and now you're in a good mood psychologically. Well, doesn't the same thing work in a negative way?

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Seeing a bunch of fucking garbage out on the street. A bunch of weeds coming up around the freeway, broken windows. Broken windows. Graffiti. Josh Brolin pointing a sawed off shotgun at you. Do we understand?

[Caller/Guest]

Yes.

[Allison Rosen]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay. Fucking good. Now what are we talking about? Oh, yeah, look, it's game on. You gotta raise your own kids.

[Brian Bishop]

Back to Santa Claus. Now I'm of two minds because I feel like an old man. Because I don't want to see Santa smoking.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't either.

[Brian Bishop]

I mean, marijuana, whatever. But I just. The idea of Santa with cigarette or cigar or whatever hanging out of his mouth is kind of meh. But then Santa has the corn cob pipe and it's like, that's a traditional thing. So it's like, I don't know. I'm of two minds now.

[Adam Carolla]

I feel like just going, I'd go in there and just go, look, you get to sell weed. Isn't that enough? You know what I mean? You know, my mom would have killed for this gig in 1973. You got a store, you sell pot. We're letting you do that. That's good. Let's just keep it there. Get a picture of Tommy Chong and put him up there with a doobie in his mouth or whatever it is. But, yeah, I sort of do agree. I mean, once you have kids and you strap them in the back of your car and you see they're just sitting up high and their head's on a swivel and you're passing all this stuff. And it's also this thing too, where it's like, I'm sitting there watching the NFL Network and I'm watching the Thursday night game, and I'm watching it with my son and we're enjoying it. And then the commercial comes on where all the players are silent. And this is an anti sexual rape or physical violence against women. There's the no more one. There's now the new one where they don't say anything.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, it's still the same campaign, but same campaign. They just look, they're obviously having trouble with their emotions.

[Adam Carolla]

Guys that were involved with date rape when they were at their university are now sitting there silently. And there's a part of me that wants to, like, my son wants to know what's going on, and I don't want to go. Well, a lot of guys doing a lot of raping, and these guys, they probably did their fair share of raping

[Brian Bishop]

when they were moms were abused in front of them or, you know, some guy was.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, but I'm sure when these guys were at the U back in the day, I'm sure they brought a few chicks up to the dorm room on occasion to study.

[Brian Bishop]

Adam.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah. But anyway, either way, there's now silent judgment going on. And I don't want to, like, I don't want to go to them like, we're enjoying this game together. Now we got to get into this domestic assault and sexual assault and all this kind of stuff. I don't know, it's just. I wish, by the way, it made a fucking lick of difference. I mean, for the people who think it's a good idea, for those of you who think it is a good idea to make your hand into a fist and punch a woman in the face with it, or to violently rape a Woman or another human being. For those of you who think this is a good idea or that you're capable of it, I don't think Eli Manning just sitting there shaking his head at him, I don't think that's going to get the guy's dick back in his pants or get his fucking hand unballed. That's just me. But it was just like, we're talking about the guy from 7th Heaven. I don't think if we had a bunch of therapists with their arms folded going, man, you just don't touch those 11 year olds. I don't feel like that would slow these guys down. Now, it does make the league feel good about themselves.

[Brian Bishop]

They're doing something.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. Quote unquote, they're doing something by not physically, actually statistically doing anything. All right, let's bring it home.

[Allison Rosen]

That's the news. I'm Allison Rosen. Zip aid cunt.

[Adam Carolla]

You gotta crawl up Allison. That was the news with Allison Rosen. Allison, you've probably never seen any of these. You've never seen the silent commercial, have you?

[Allison Rosen]

I have not.

[Brian Bishop]

Watches a ton of NFL Network, I'm sure.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah, I fast forward through the commercials.

[Adam Carolla]

She's got, during the commercials that she's working on a roto league.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, exactly.

[Adam Carolla]

She's trying to get the fantasy analysis stats in there. Yeah. Gary, you could find one of those commercials, right? I'll find that commercial. I'll tell you guys about Lifelock ultimate, baby. I got Lifelock Ultimate. Plus you need Lifelock. My kids, they got Lifelock because they have Social Security numbers. And thus they must have Lifelock because they're to going, they're hacking. Those Koreans are coming for you next. That's what I'm saying, Allison.

[Allison Rosen]

Listen to this crazy story. To test piles of stolen credit card numbers purchased from hackers, a group of identity thieves in Brooklyn offered to buy locals pizza using a Domino's pizza app. And then if it went through, they would then use. They would know it's a good number and they would use it to buy higher ticket items. So beware of strangers offering you free pizza.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, beware of everything but Lifelock ultimate. Lifelong ultimate. Plus, you need it. It is, well, almost 2015. And if you're going to be a victim of crime in 2015, you're going to get hacked. Your identity is going to get stolen, and that's what's going to happen. And that's why you need Lifelock ultimate. Dawson. Visit lifelock.com and enter promo code Adam to save 10% on your LifeLock Ultimate plus membership. That's promo code adamifelock.com to get a special 10% discount. LifeLock.com network does not cover all the transactions.

[Allison Rosen]

All right, is this Eli Manning? Because I don't like his face.

[Adam Carolla]

This is Eli Manning looking disgusted about what you've done to your partner. But you can see the whole.

[Brian Bishop]

Now this is.

[Adam Carolla]

That's not the silent Gary.

[Brian Bishop]

The one where no one talks.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, well, anyway, I will tell you guys that you can. Jeez, let's see. Do we talk about go to Corolla drinks and get a little Mangria for the holidays days? It's good for what ails you. Also, I'll be in Santa Clara and we'll be doing some live shows, but they're all sold out. But you want to come say hi to me, you can come to wine club and you can come at tomorrow, 5:30. Say hi also. Las Vegas Hard Rock coming up on the 17th. You go to the website, you can find out where the live shows are going to be at. And yeah, you know what I realize

[Brian Bishop]

is that day is a game day for the 49ers and they play in Santa Clara now. So that could be a little tailgate. That could be the pregame.

[Adam Carolla]

Love that thought. Bald. All right, well, since they don't say anything in the commercial, it's probably not good pot anyway. Yeah. But I can imagine it.

[Allison Rosen]

Is it just that guy's face not saying anything?

[Brian Bishop]

It's a few guys and they're getting very emotional.

[Adam Carolla]

They're having trouble talking. It's one of those campaigns that whoever thought of it is very happy with themselves.

[Brian Bishop]

Yes. But my first instinct was, was these are guys who maybe witnessed some abuse to maybe a mom or something like that. And that's why they're getting so emotional. Can't talk about it. That's what I was. That's where as soon as I saw, I was like, oh, there must be this backstory here.

[Allison Rosen]

Maybe they're on fertility drugs.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, they're on Clomid. Can't control their emotions.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

Is that not what you thought?

[Adam Carolla]

All I ever think of when I ever see any of these commercials is it's the same thing I think when I see the douche commercial. Like I've seen 200,000 douche commercials I've done. Never purchased douche. Or when I do, I do it in bulk. So I have like a 55 gallon drum. But either way, how many commercials am I going to watch in life that have no bearing on. On me?

[Allison Rosen]

All right, we found it.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, this is Chris Carter's praying. I didn't see this.

[Brian Bishop]

He's trying to get it together here.

[Adam Carolla]

He's trying to pull it together.

[Brian Bishop]

It's clear he's trying to, you know, do his line, but.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I haven't even seen this one.

[Brian Bishop]

There's one they run a lot, Allison, which is a few different.

[Adam Carolla]

There's a whole bunch of this guys doing that.

[Brian Bishop]

Gary.

[Adam Carolla]

They don't have it on. Don't have it online, huh?

[Promo Voice]

First one I found.

[Adam Carolla]

All right.

[Allison Rosen]

Anyway, I hate it.

[Adam Carolla]

No more. Yeah, well, by the way, great message,

[Allison Rosen]

but I hate it.

[Adam Carolla]

You're sitting with your 8 year old son trying to fucking enjoy the Seahawks game. It's pretty weird. All right, so until next time, Sam Kroll for Rick Harrison. Ah, Laurie. Oh, Christ.

[Allison Rosen]

Grenier.

[Adam Carolla]

Grenier. And Allison Rosen and bald Brian saying mahalo. Oh, I'm now in a good mood. All right, that was Adam Kirlishow, 1478. Coming up next, we have Adam Curlis show 1571 1. Kelly James, Gina Grad and Brian Bishop from 2015. O'reilly Auto Parts. Yeah, man, o'reilly. Love these guys. Gonna get into it with o'reilly because I got a car race coming up in about six or seven weeks since time for prep. You want to keep your car on the road, you do it with O'Reilly. There's not many issues I can't figure out, but. But if I can't, I always go to O'Reilly. They've got thousands of parts in stock either in store or online, so you never worry if you're in a jam. They'll also test your battery for free. And if it needs to be replaced, they'll help you find the right one. Whether you're a car aficionado or an auto novice, you'll see the employees at O'Reilly Auto Parts are helpful and friendly. O'Reilly, O'Reilly is your one stop shop for all things auto. Do it yourself. It's O'Reilly, right? Dawson, stop by O'Reilly Auto Parts today or visit us@O'ReillyAuto.com Adam that's O'ReillyAuto.com Adam Good day, Gina Grant, Good day to you. And bold Brian. Okay, now the fun begins.

[Brian Bishop]

That top drops from James Vance.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, losing my voice spent the.

[Brian Bishop]

I noticed that on stage last night.

[Adam Carolla]

I spent the day well, it was Riverside and then Irvine and then beautiful Azusa this morning.

[Brian Bishop]

I notice you compensated for your voice going by going an extra 10 minutes and yelling more. You really took care of yourself.

[Adam Carolla]

I was trying to break through. It's like Asians with booze, you know what I mean?

[Brian Bishop]

You hit the wall.

[Adam Carolla]

They have that enzyme that doesn't let them drink where they get all flush. But the real Cracker Jacks, they push through.

[Brian Bishop]

Heroes.

[Adam Carolla]

Heroes, literally, that's their first name with an I.

[Brian Bishop]

Hero. Drinking more.

[Adam Carolla]

They go right through it. Yeah. So beautiful. Azusa, this morning, first thing one of the producers did was show me a picture of a dog that was chained to a piece of furniture in the front yard. And these aren't tire swings. I'm not saying furniture like outdoor Y swings or anything. This is. I had to get a closer look. This stuff is made of particle board number one.

[Caller/Guest]

There's.

[Brian Bishop]

That does not belong on the lawn.

[Adam Carolla]

No, it's an entertainment unit that is on the front lawn. And then later on, I had to go get a closer picture of it.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, it's hollow.

[Gina Grad]

It looks sort of IKEA esque.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, no, it's an entertainment unit on the front lawn, right? Yeah, I've said it's.

[Brian Bishop]

By the way, it's in disrepair.

[Adam Carolla]

Those folks who are apologists for fucked up people. This has nothing to do with money. I would argue it cost more money. Right now I do not have an entertainment unit on my front lawn.

[Brian Bishop]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

If I was to purchase one, assemble one and place it there, it'd probably be about $300. There's nothing in it financially.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. What's the end game here? To someday bring in the house or to someday sell it, or to keep it there forever.

[Adam Carolla]

It's made of mdf, Medium density fiberboard. It's not even real wood.

[Brian Bishop]

Meaning it's not a high quality product.

[Adam Carolla]

If it ever rained, it would be ruined. It's cardboard. Yes. Okay.

[Brian Bishop]

It would snap very easily. Or your knee, it would just dissolve.

[Adam Carolla]

Would you guys be with me under my. Sort of. When I'm in control. With my. I was standing out in the street in Azusa. A couple things. Couple things. You guys tell me where you stand. You can take a look. I'll show you a picture of the alley too.

[Brian Bishop]

Anyway.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, you guys. You guys tell me where you're at with this. Everybody tell me where you're at with this.

[Brian Bishop]

Don't talk to your phone. They look crazy.

[Adam Carolla]

I was place just fucking scared.

[Brian Bishop]

That's a dog run.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't even know what we're looking at.

[Brian Bishop]

My dog run. Get out. Find a better life.

[Adam Carolla]

Don't even show me anymore. Show me the one alley picture just so I can depress the shit out of everybody.

[Brian Bishop]

There's a more depressing picture than that.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, what we just saw, there's the alley.

[Brian Bishop]

Okay, Sorry. Should describe it to people. It was a chain link fence and a sort of a dog room.

[Gina Grad]

A rusted out chain link fence.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, Can I say this? In a 14 minute period, we were shooting something and shooting some sort of out front in the street, using a neighbor's house, what have you. And crazy Latin lady who lived sort of in the neighborhood, Heavyset, in her 50s or whatever it was, walked by and said, what are you guys doing? You know, it's like, sure. First off, in 2015, when you see the crew with the guys with the cameras on their shoulders and stuff, like, what are you doing? Oh, what show? I'm sounding like she's from New Jersey, but think more old Mexico. And she's like, what's going on? What are you doing? What do you. Yeah, that's the alley behind the place. What's going on? We're sort of trying to shush her and kind of. It's doing. I don't know, it's. Well, next thing you know, three of Azusa's finest come rolling up on us.

[Brian Bishop]

The cops.

[Adam Carolla]

Three. Three patrol cars. Three patrol cars. She walked back inside. Look, nothing but super friendly, professional people saying, ma', am, no big deal. Just shooting a TV show, Everything's above board and all that kind of stuff. And she literally just went in and called the cops. And three units came rolling up on the people that had permits, the people that was completely professional. And, you know, there's trailers set up, there's units, there's the whole thing.

[Brian Bishop]

Were these Azusa City Police?

[Allison Rosen]

Yes, yes.

[Caller/Guest]

Okay.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. Who, by the way, are beautifying the backyard of one of the residents there. But okay, three squad cars come rolling up. Then about 12 minutes later, I'm standing on the. Standing on the sidewalk and a truck pulls up. It's the draft patrol.

[Brian Bishop]

It's the drought making sure the days,

[Gina Grad]

the watering is all here.

[Brian Bishop]

So explain to people outside of California what's happening.

[Adam Carolla]

We're in the middle of a heavy duty drought and we're enforcing a lot of regulations about washing your car in your driveway or watering your lawn between certain hours, or even watering your lawn at all.

[Brian Bishop]

If you odd number addresses get Mondays and Wednesdays or whatever it is.

[Adam Carolla]

If you had your pool redone, you couldn't refill it.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, yeah, I heard that.

[Adam Carolla]

I'd just say fuck you to that, by the way. I'd have the hoes just running there. Fuck You. Anyway, point is, this my Boston Tea Party. And then I would dump Lipton into it and then do the Lipton tea plunge. The nest tea plunge.

[Brian Bishop]

And you're not sleep for days.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right. You know every orifice. So, okay, so three. Three Popo, pull up. There's nothing going on. Just some idiot called that. By the way, don't you want that person in trouble? I mean, what if you were. What if you were at that moment your wife walked outside of a supermarket and was assaulted?

[Brian Bishop]

My God, what's taking the police so long?

[Adam Carolla]

Well, there's three of them on a back street in Azusa because a crazy woman decided to pick up the phone.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, and I thought that everyone knew in Azusa that snitches get stitches.

[Brian Bishop]

It's on the welcome to Azusa side.

[Adam Carolla]

Don't you want to go? Look, person, if this is nothing, we're gonna come to you and find you, or we're at least gonna put a demerit by your name for the cunt that's called wolf. Okay? So then the drought guy comes by and he stop and, you know, everyone sees a production's going on. He recognizes me, waves, I wave at him, he moves on. Okay? So we have cops everywhere. We have the drought police.

[Brian Bishop]

He says, you thirsty? I bet you are.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right. Yeah, I pissed in this radiator earlier today. Wasn't going with the press down. So would you guys be cool with my regime of people that just fucking walked around the neighborhood and went, listen, crazy person with entertainment unit on your front yard for what is now going on three and a half years, you are not only fucking up your front lawn, but you're kind of fucking up the property values of everyone else around here.

[Brian Bishop]

At the very least, depressing everyone.

[Adam Carolla]

Let us help you remove this, okay? Unless you have some incredible thing of. Oh, well, no. Every evening I refinish these, I go out and watch something. I mean, something like just. It's a sort of get your shit together patrol.

[Brian Bishop]

My dad with dementia thinks there's a TV inside.

[Gina Grad]

Right, but aren't they gonna pull the same move as if you were talking about their child? Don't tell me what to do with my indoor furniture on the lawn.

[Adam Carolla]

No, the move they're gonna do is the move all assholes do. And it's the same asshole move they would do if I was telling them about this woman who called the cops. So three of them rolled up on a bunch of folks that were shooting a TV show. Yeah, but when you do that, then the next thing you know, the same woman, six months later, looks out the window and sees a woman being brutally raped, but is scared to call the cops for fear she might be punished. And I always go, oh, shut the fuck up. You know what the fuck you're talking about. Do you think that would happen? And by the way, the day in life where we can't sort of use comparisons like we don't know the difference between somebody rolling through a four way stop sign and somebody bashing an elderly woman over the head with a fucking pipe, we've lost.

[Caller/Guest]

We've lost it.

[Adam Carolla]

That's all we have. That's all we have in life is our ability to make decisions. Yes. So no slippery slope, asshole. No. And they would say, okay, but then let's just say a year later they came by and someone didn't like the color of the trim on your fascia. Now they're demanding you change that. And then they decide, well, you ate your entree with a salad fork and now the jackbooted thugs are kicking in the front. It's like, no, asshole, it's never going there. There's a fucking sofa on their lawn. That's what we wanna get rid of. Yeah, but it's always like, yeah, but. Yeah, but what? Do we really think it would spin out? And does it ever spin out?

[Brian Bishop]

As for the cops, the fact that you, not you, the production was shooting and they were a production team and it was from a network that's. If you're shooting without a permit in la, you get fined. And I'm sure they, you know, that would incentivize the cops. Well, not just to shut it down, but come and like issue a war, you know, a citation for, hey, please pay this fine for not getting a permit to shoot here. If that's in fact, you know, what they thought. And that's just motivation. They're motivated by getting paid.

[Adam Carolla]

They knew. I'm sure they could have ascertained the whole permit part since the permit, because

[Brian Bishop]

that's why three of them showed up as a.

[Adam Carolla]

No, no, they would have been around days earlier. We've been shooting there for days. They've had cops there already. They can ascertain that. No, she didn't say there's a production going on.

[Brian Bishop]

There's a strange.

[Adam Carolla]

Something's going on. Please get over here.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, that should be a demerit.

[Adam Carolla]

This fucking thing where people are like unemployable. They walk around all day, they stick their nose into shit and then they start dropping dimes. Fucking hate those People. All right, all right, next thing. This is from a few days back, a few weeks back. Have you guys ever had a scenario where you've thrown a party or there's been a party? We had a party for the backers over at the warehouse for the vent for the Paul Newman documentary and blah, blah, blah. And it's always the kind of thing where, yeah, you get the bartender and you get the people and they do the cleanup and they do the catering and they do the whatever. Has it ever happened where you returned the following day and everything was perfect? It's never happened. There's always. There has to be just one half finished beer sitting near the bar.

[Brian Bishop]

Just.

[Adam Carolla]

There's always. It's never. It's cleaned. It's just like. It's like almost like you cannot do it. As if they weren't there. Here's what it was. It was the. It was the 1/2 beer. The person cleaned the bar, but it's still the one half beer. And there's this. And it drives me fucking nuts. The two big bottles, one of tonic, one of seltzer. The two. The two liter bottles. I walked over to both of them, I grabbed the lids were on. Still could get a full turn. Like that thing where you put the fucking lid on the carbonated thing. Bubbles. But you don't twist it. You don't twist it till it's up. Who the fuck are you? What is going on?

[Gina Grad]

Have they been scrubbing so hard that they just couldn't pick up that last glass and do the last turn there? Get carpal tunnel.

[Adam Carolla]

They put. The cap is put onto the bottle. The cap is turned onto the bottle. But there's another three quarters of a turn till it snugs up.

[Brian Bishop]

As soon as the caps on the bottle, that box is checked, it's like up caps on the bottle next.

[Gina Grad]

Not my seltzer.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, exactly.

[Adam Carolla]

Why, why so on? Why is everyone just so intent on everything just being dumped? Just why? Like why can't I fucking just finish anything? Cosmically just can't. You twisted it. Yeah, you probably. You probably are half turn away from locking this thing in versus it just going flat overnight and it's three quarters full. Why not?

[Brian Bishop]

What if the bartender, whoever it was, was drinking? Because that's like leaving stuff around.

[Adam Carolla]

The half drink, it's just. It's impossible. It doesn't. It just doesn't exist.

[Gina Grad]

Was everything else pretty spotless, but a couple of random just.

[Adam Carolla]

There's always. No, there's the thing. There's the thing with all the Cut up lemons. That's in the little thing that you gotta dump out. That's getting bad too. There's always like two and a half things that just aren't right. Not finished, just not done. Not time to walk away.

[Brian Bishop]

I obviously never throwing a party on the that scale, but the parties we have at our house, I'm kind of fanatical about cleaning up that night as much as I can because I want to make sure that we have lemons. Yeah, number one, I want to wake up to it. You're right. But number two, I want to make sure that we have lemons we can use for, you know, cut up lemons or whatever it is. It doesn't go bad.

[Adam Carolla]

We gotta get married.

[Gina Grad]

Maybe the. The people who are cleaning, if they're not cleaners by nature, just kind of hit their wall and at one point just said, fuck it, it's good enough, and threw their hands up and walked out.

[Adam Carolla]

I've just realized that most people. All right, here's how it is. Here's how it is. Most people are asleep. There's asleep and then there's awake. There's awake. People are just awake and they're awake for everything. And then asleep people are sort of asleep for everything. They're not bad people. They're not even stupid people. They're just not. I went into my trailer this morning and it's like, no, it's building day. It's construction day. So it's not full makeup and full hair and full everything. And I said to the sort of wardrobe chick who has the stuff, she gets left behind the kit, the kit from the makeup girl and the hair girl, leave the kit behind, you know, so you can put on a little powder and kind of road kit, travel kit, do your own hair up right. And I say, okay, there's a goo that I use on my hair. It's blue, it's weird, but it works. And it's not the squeeze thing comes in. The thing the size of a hockey puck. It's wide, it's whatever. And I always ask for it. We always have the discussion, and there it is. And I do it myself. And it's blah, blah, blah. And I'm saying to the chick, so where's my hair goo? And she's going, well, she left behind this stuff. And I'm like, that's not the stuff I use. And then she goes, oh, well, I don't know which one you use. I go, no, it's the blue stuff stuff. I use it every time. So I Always ask for it. I always say, yeah, I don't know. This is what's left behind.

[Brian Bishop]

Fucking diva.

[Adam Carolla]

And then, well, no, my hair fucking. It's scrunchy. It hurts right now because I got the weird shit. Life's tough.

[Brian Bishop]

So much hair. Know what to do with it.

[Adam Carolla]

Here's my point. Minerva, she's the awake one, okay? This is not her job. She's not hair, makeup, she's not anything. She's a producer. But she's awake, right? And she's in the trailer when we're downloading information and I'm getting my stuff on, and she just literally comes walking in and goes. But he uses the. It's the blue stuff. Where's the blue stuff? That was awake person talking to sleep person. Awake person, not their job, talking to sleep person. That's how it works. Yeah. She left behind five different ones. None of the fucking ones were mine. But I'm just saying, just in general, that general malaise, that thing of just. I'm not quite done.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, there's no incentive for an asleep person to wake up either. Cause at the end of the day, it's above their pay grade. I'm not interested. Not my department.

[Adam Carolla]

We make fucking excuses for asleep people all the time. And it's fucking bullshit. Everyone needs to go wake the fuck up. Everybody.

[Brian Bishop]

I notice it most on the road when, like, people are at lights and they're looking at their phones, just tuned out and the light turns green and there's a good two to three second sort of just footstool on the break. You got to be that alert person and give them a little toot.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, Tell me if you want fart in your car. Go ahead. I honked.

[Brian Bishop]

You know what you got to do, man?

[Adam Carolla]

Get Kaelin over on that blower over there. Because I got to figure out whether I'm a douchebag or not. You guys, you guys tell me. So I have this thing with all human beings, which is I go to a certain accommodation level, and then once I hit this accommodation level, I decide that they are the ones who are in fact being rude when it's in fact me who is going to do the rude thing by saying no picture or no something.

[Brian Bishop]

Is this about last night? Yes, because I. I walked past this scene and now I want to know what's going on.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, I have to know. I didn't see this.

[Brian Bishop]

I got to know. I don't know what's happening.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I was in Riverside that morning and then Irvine that night, and I had to Be in a via La Canada. And I had to be in Azusa this morning. So one of the very rare instances where I said, no autographs and no signings and no pictures. Because when I'm done, I'm going to jump in the car, we're gonna hustle the hell out of here. And if I can, if we haul ass, I can make it home by 10:30 or 11:00 clock at night and back to catching a contractor next day. But sure enough, when we're walking out to the car, there were a few fans out there who had gone out the side door and figured out that something was going on out the side door. So I had August drop drives like a maniac. And I like to have a cold one on the way home.

[Brian Bishop]

Sure, it's a long drive.

[Adam Carolla]

It's a marriage made in heaven. And it is a fucking haul. It's a good hour. I fucking just walked off stage. I want a cold one.

[Brian Bishop]

And he's driving, drinking, beer's on stage. You can't stop.

[Gina Grad]

By the way, did Mike ever get his watch back?

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, I gave his watch back and I took mine out of his backpack.

[Gina Grad]

Got it.

[Adam Carolla]

Cause I'm a fucking winner.

[Brian Bishop]

You're alert. You're awake.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm awake. I'm awake. No, we're standing in my driveway at 11 o'.

[Lori Grenier]

Clock.

[Adam Carolla]

I had the world's longest day. And he was starting to walk down, and I said, stop, Give me my watch. And your backpack.

[Brian Bishop]

You got your growler and you got his watch?

[Lori Grenier]

Mm.

[Adam Carolla]

I got my growler too, so. All right, now we're going to find out if what happened in this parking lot makes me a douchebag or not. First stamps.com?

[Brian Bishop]

that's a tease.

[Gina Grad]

That is a cliffhanger.

[Adam Carolla]

Small businesses, you gotta go. You don't want to do things the old way. Get out of that habit, man. Let's do things a new way, the way we do things. Stamps.com. you can print postage, put on any letter packages, use your computer, printer, and then just hand it right to your mail carrier. Drop it in the mailbox. Does not matter. It is stamps.com. you get discounts you can't get at the post office. It's unbelievable. It's stamps.com. they got a special offer. Use my name, Adam no risk trial $110 bonus offer. You get a digital scale and up to 55 bucks free post. How can you go wrong with stamps.com? we use it. Matt's back there. I'm signing book jackets and posters and Covers and boobies. Yeah, people send in their boobies. Go to stamps.com before you do anything else, click on the microphone, top of the homepage and type in Adam stamps dot com. Alright, so there were a handful of fans out there, seven, eight fans figured

[Brian Bishop]

out they would not be denied.

[Adam Carolla]

They would not be denied. And it was a drunken crowd last night. And first there was the chick who didn't get a road hard something, something, something. And I felt bad and I said, I got to hook you up with Kalin so he can give you the information so we can somehow make this right. And then there's another guy who had a poster where he superimposed my head into like a bandito or something like that. And he hand effort. He handed it to me and I said, thank you. And he said, no, not for you, I want you to sign it. And I said, I don't, I'm not carrying a pen. And he said, I don't have a pen. And Mike was behind the wheel of the car with the car running. And I was about ready, the door open, I'm gonna jump in the Jag and we're gonna haul ass into the night. And I did the. For me, in terms of signing shit, if you didn't bring a pen.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

You brought the poster.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, it's like on a baseball game with the baseball. Yeah, the card or whatever. You got to bring the pen.

[Adam Carolla]

That one will be on you.

[Brian Bishop]

Yes. As a little kid who show up to the baseball game with a stack of cards hoping to get them signed,

[Gina Grad]

you got to bring the pen and no Sharpie.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, don't do that.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, don't know. You show up, you bring the Sharpie that's on you. So I say, well, sorry, thanks, but I don't have a pen. We're back in a month and of course Mike August yells from in the car, I got one in the backpack. Oh, God, I fucking hate that.

[Brian Bishop]

He's eager to please get out of

[Adam Carolla]

the car now, open the backpack, and he hands me the Sharpie. So I sign the guy's poster, I hand it back to him. I believe I take a picture with him, but I can't remember if I took a picture with him or I took a picture with a drunken chick.

[Brian Bishop]

That's 90 seconds of drinking time, whatever it was.

[Adam Carolla]

And then I can see why you're so upset as I'm. I have the pen in my right hand and maybe my phone or something else in my right hand. And then. And he sticks his hand out and he says, you Know Ace, man, great to meet you. And I grab his hand, backhand. I go backhand with my free hand, my left hand. And I give him a good grab and a good shake. And I start to get in the

[Brian Bishop]

car like me when I'm pissing.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. And he goes, hey, man, give me a real handshake. And I said, you got your handshake. And he's like, ace, come on, just give me a handshake.

[Brian Bishop]

And I said, that's man fueled.

[Adam Carolla]

We're good.

[Allison Rosen]

Good.

[Adam Carolla]

We're good. I'm getting in the car. And he put his come on. And he follows me over to the open door. And I go, you got your hand, you got your poster. I gotta go. I'm working. And he puts his hand out and I. I gave him a back hand. I gave him a right hand, but I just hit him with the brush it away. I gave him the brush move. And I said, I'm leaving. And then he just stood there with the bird. He just stood there going, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you. And I just. I just watched as I drove off in the night with him just standing there like Kuzak and say anything, except for he was holding one finger over

[Gina Grad]

his head and singing in your eyes.

[Brian Bishop]

Yep, that's right.

[Caller/Guest]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

Now, I could have taken three and a half seconds and shook his hand. I absolutely could have. But I have decided that this guy had gone past that point. And once you go past that point, that's it. Yeah, I am as accommodating as I can be. But past a certain point, that's on you. And by the way, the fact, as I always say, listen very carefully. Had it happen, you know, the people where you go, listen, I gotta let you go. You have an attitude problem. Fuck you. Listen, you're defined.

[Brian Bishop]

Fuck you, man. You don't fucking tell me the fucking

[Adam Carolla]

act of work or not. A lot of people been working. I'm not gonna mention names, have had a lot of complaints about those guys.

[Brian Bishop]

Those are assholes.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, this is exactly what.

[Brian Bishop]

Don't you fucking point at me.

[Adam Carolla]

The fact that he stood there holding his middle finger out and staring at me the whole time. No, but that made me. Right.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, of course it did.

[Adam Carolla]

That's who he was.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay.

[Brian Bishop]

Number one, you do a lot of yelling on this show, but you are. You are very. I was gonna say the same thing. You're very combinating with fans, pictures and all that stuff. So. So this story probably went down exactly as you said it. Number two, I'm interested to hear his version I'd like him to call in and explain his version of the story,

[Allison Rosen]

because that's the thing.

[Gina Grad]

Like, there was three or four people that said, oh, can I have a picture? And mine moved because I'm Jewish.

[Brian Bishop]

Middle finger.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, Right up. Yeah. But I was like, oh, give me a hug. I'm a hugger. Nice to meet you. Hi. Hi. Hi.

[Brian Bishop]

Have you come inside?

[Gina Grad]

And if somebody would have pulled away from me and said, give me a real hug, I would have have been like, fuck you. What are you talking about? I owe you the first hug. That was a really douchey thing for him to do, and I wish I would have punched him.

[Adam Carolla]

I could have shake. I could have shook his hand, the whole situation. That's true. Kaylyn, were you there? I was there. How did you experience that?

[Kelly James]

I was talking to that woman at the same time.

[Brian Bishop]

But I agree with you that it was justified.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay.

[Brian Bishop]

And I would just like to add,

[Adam Carolla]

in the two and a quarter years

[Brian Bishop]

I've been working here, I can remember

[Adam Carolla]

one other time where you didn't go

[Brian Bishop]

out and take pictures and shake hands. And that's also because you were filming

[Adam Carolla]

Catch a Contract and wanted to get home. I need to wake up early, so.

[Caller/Guest]

All right.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm a hero.

[Gina Grad]

Hey, quick question about this.

[Brian Bishop]

Who was that?

[Gina Grad]

Do you think there was that? That guy had it in his brain that if he was kind of, like, aggressive and aggro towards you, he thought you would respect him and be like, oh, well, I can't turn this guy down.

[Adam Carolla]

He was just drunk. And when you're drunk, sort of the you comes out sometimes.

[Brian Bishop]

True. I think you're both right. I think a drunk Tori Amos fan would be a little different. Tori. Than a drunk Adam Corolla band being delivered towards him.

[Gina Grad]

Come on. Really? Name my spirit animal.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, let's see, a couple of phone calls here.

[Brian Bishop]

Can I ask a related question? The first thing? Just because I don't know when else would bring it up? A sort of ace on the house question. We bought a outdoor wicker couch a couple years ago, and we cheaped out, and we got a bargain one, and it's destroyed now. I mean, it's weathered. You know what I mean? It's kind of coming up. The wicker is kind of coming up.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Let me just give you guys something real quick. Wooden, outdoor. Anything fucking falls apart immediately.

[Brian Bishop]

We found that we bought two. One good one, one cheap one. The good one looks perfect. The cheap one is not.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, if you're gonna get lounges and things of that nature. It's good to get aluminum or metal or something. Anything other than wood based stuff. Because I've had wood based stuff. It's the sun. Everyone thinks it's water that fucks everything up. It's the sun. It's just like baking out the sun that just fucks everything up.

[Brian Bishop]

Okay, so we're getting rid of this thing. The bones are good. It's stuck.

[Adam Carolla]

Give it to your neighbor. He can put it on his lawn.

[Brian Bishop]

I want to avoid putting it out in front of the house because that depresses the neighborhood, frankly. And there's sure. Are there people who refinish these things? Can I give it to someone who's gonna refurbish it and sell?

[Gina Grad]

Can you darn wicker?

[Brian Bishop]

Can you re wicker something?

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know.

[Brian Bishop]

I didn't know if you knew this. I know you do some work.

[Adam Carolla]

I have no experience in wicker work. Hey, Izzy.

[Caller/Guest]

Hi. Hi. How's it going?

[Adam Carolla]

Good. 42 LA.

[Lori Grenier]

Yeah.

[Caller/Guest]

I wanted to ask you this when you were on my show a few months back, but I know we were tight on time. I experienced this a couple times. You got the say you're in line, you got one. One item, there's somebody in front of you. It's got 50 items. I want to know what the douche year move is. Look, the person that looks at you and doesn't let you go. Or if you're. I saw this too. This is ridiculous.

[Brian Bishop]

A guy with one item in the

[Caller/Guest]

long line that makes it known he has one item and tries to get to the front of the line, which is the douche year move.

[Adam Carolla]

I think if you have multiple items and there's someone behind you with one item, it's incumbent upon you to let that person slide in front of you.

[Gina Grad]

But in Izzy situation, what if the guy's being a dick about it from the get go? Does that make a difference?

[Adam Carolla]

Well, if you're being a dick about it from the get go, that mitigates everything. You don't get to do anything.

[Brian Bishop]

My high school job, I worked in a grocery store for two years and saw this many times. If you have the one item, it's perfectly fine just to be polite about it and say, hey, man, I got the one thing kind of in a hurry. Would you mind if I slid in front of Rarely will someone say no? Yeah, rarely.

[Caller/Guest]

I tell you what, this guy was being a dick about it, and I was so proud of the people in line because they did not let him go.

[Brian Bishop]

He's being a Dick, he deserves it.

[Adam Carolla]

Thanks, Izzy.

[Caller/Guest]

Thank you so much. Can I pimp my show really quick?

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. Is he still talking?

[Adam Carolla]

Let's see some from Fresno. Let's see. Jb.

[Caller/Guest]

Yes, sir.

[Adam Carolla]

Listen, if you want to pimp your show, you got to do better than if you're in line at a supermarket, someone's got a can of Campbell's soup and you have 15. You gotta do me better than that.

[Brian Bishop]

You gotta rethink supermarket.com or possibly even. Sorry, buddy, the whole concept's fucked.

[Adam Carolla]

JB. Yes, what's going on, 38?

[Caller/Guest]

I'd like to believe that my Dinty Moore stew is more important than his Campbell stew.

[Adam Carolla]

I do love the Dinty Moore.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, I'm calling him out, but reason

[Caller/Guest]

I was calling one of my. I've taken your advice from the gift, you know, listening on Loveline for so many years. You are my messiah, if you will. And your biggest thing was always, you know, make money while you sleep. So got involved with out call adult entertainers probably going on, oh, man, 18

[Brian Bishop]

years now, like showing up at bachelor party or something. What does that mean?

[Caller/Guest]

Yes, strip. You know, strippers, you know, even promotions, you need a, you know, ring, girls, stuff like that. That's everything that we were involved in now actually gotten a lot bigger and been able to last this long relative to most of the companies, you know, because we've been real, real accommodating with the girls and we're, we, we don't mess around. We don't, you know, no bait and switch, none of that crap. But now I'm in a dilemma because, you know, friends of mine that had kids young, I mean, I've got a six year old at home now and they're having, you know, their kid, their daughters in this particular case. I have a friend of mine, his daughter, she's 20. And I don't, I'm not involved in the business whatsoever, other than I get portfolios in the email. I look them over, I could go, yay or nay. And I kind of give the final go. But I got this and I'm like, holy crap, I think I know this girl. And then I go, oh, crap, that is, you know, Billy's daughter.

[Adam Carolla]

So what's she looking to do? I mean, what, you think this thing's going out, keeping front of house? Well, no, what I'm saying is, is you're telling me you have a business and, you know, you do businesses. You know, you could do boat shows and shit like that too, right? Is this all. It's all she has to be vying for strip. Stripper gang.

[Caller/Guest]

That issue has made it very clear. One of our sections is, you know, but you know, what type of work are you looking for? And of course the bachelor parties and stuff like that pay a lot more than your, you know, going out and.

[Adam Carolla]

Hold on a second.

[Brian Bishop]

So she checked that box.

[Adam Carolla]

Let me, let me say this. You know how I always say rent control will kill you because you'll get that little place in Santa Monica off Ocean. You'll pay 700 bucks a month and you'll die in that fucking box. You'll never own it thing. There are certain jobs that will fuck your shit up. And for chick, for chick, it's dance dancing. If you're a hot chick, eventually that dries up.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, I was gonna say time will weed you out nature.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, but a lot of these chicks will do it for 15 years or something.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, that could be going as good money.

[Adam Carolla]

And when they stop, there's nothing else to do. But it's hard to walk away from a lot of cash in your own hours. And Dennis Ro pale and all that

[Gina Grad]

kind of quality of life.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, and I've always said that like fuzzy accounting practices, it's the greatest gig ever. If your cute 22 year old chick doesn't mind shaking your money maker and you'll fucking make good cash every night. And your work starts at nine or ten o' clock at night. You leave when you want to leave. I mean you can beat the fucking beach all day. I mean, you know, it's that for a dude bartender podcast. Oh, bartender, bartender.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

You get a lot of phone, you get a lot of phone numbers.

[Brian Bishop]

Your day starts around 4.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. Or whenever. 4, 6, 7 o' clock happy hour. Right. You get if, I mean if you're at the right bar, you're going out of there with hundred, you know, few hundred bucks in cash, wad of cash. You're not reporting all of it. It's, you know, not all tax free, but a lot of it. Like Lucifer counting and you know, there's a fucking, you know, the games are going on on the flat panel TVs. There's a whole new crop of cute, cute waitresses coming in.

[Brian Bishop]

Girls, attention.

[Adam Carolla]

There's fucking girls literally dragging you down. Yeah. You are the average bartender. The average. If you took, let's put it, I'll put it to you this way. This is the fucking, this is what they need at career day at school. You take the same dude, the exact same dude, aesthetically, both are eights or just Take the same dude. You have him do what I did, which is work construction. Just 15 Mexicans and three racists named Mike. That's the fucking. Every job site's the same way. Just a toil in the sun with a bunch of sausage. Just broiling sausage in the sun. That's it.

[Brian Bishop]

That's your next book.

[Adam Carolla]

All fucking day long just cookbook. Just a big sausage cookout. And then you know when you're done, you sit on a fucking tailgate and you have a couple of Millers or whatever and you go back to your shitty apartment, you get your tools ripped off. And maybe that weekend you go out and you can buy someone else a drink.

[Brian Bishop]

It's American dream.

[Adam Carolla]

You take that same dude and you put him behind the bar and we'll see how much pussy he gets per month. In a like just 26 year old single dude department.

[Brian Bishop]

It's orders of magnitude more say, right?

[Adam Carolla]

The exact same dude.

[Caller/Guest]

Right?

[Adam Carolla]

Orders of magnitude. Okay, number one, Number two, the fucking guy who's banging chicks not named Harvey and making Harvey wall bangers is making more fucking cash than the dude who has the pickup truck in the lumber rack and can read blueprint. Significantly, yes, he's walking and I'm paying taxes on my shit. So you get that gig and all of a sudden other things open up, hey, you can come over here and intern or something like that. And you're like, fuck that. Fuck everything. Of course I'm bartending.

[Brian Bishop]

How much cash and pussy does that come with?

[Gina Grad]

Is that internship come with signing bonus?

[Adam Carolla]

The point is, at some point you wake up and you're 45 and you're a bartender.

[Gina Grad]

No, at 45 you do the same thing. Then you call yourself a mixologist. Yeah, make yourself feel better.

[Adam Carolla]

But you're fucking bartender and that. Be careful, dudes. With that dream job over there, you couldn't blink your eyes. You will be that. Yes. And the same with the ladies in the street dripping jb.

[Caller/Guest]

Yes, I have that same. Because she's. That's the thing is one of those things. She's smart girl, good looking girl. I know you know? Nor father for years. And it's like, do I hire her on that way she doesn't go out and maybe work for a company that's less courteous.

[Brian Bishop]

You're doing favor.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, I say you bring her. Hold on. I say you bring her. I say you bring her in for an interview, all right? You undo your zipper and you go. You know how the game is played, don't you? Now there's only Two scenarios that can come of this. One is she looks at you and goes, oh, my God, how dare you, and storms out.

[Brian Bishop]

I'm telling my dad.

[Adam Carolla]

In which case you get to report to the father, you got a good one, she passed. Or you get a blowjob.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, from a 20 year old.

[Adam Carolla]

Those are the only two possibilities. You see what I'm saying, JB?

[Caller/Guest]

Yes. Yes, I do see. Okay. There's a win win here.

[Adam Carolla]

That's win, win.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. All right, so you want to know whether to tell the dad.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah, I'm kind of like, do I say, hey, man, listen. And I know it's. It's weird because I. It can't be for money. I don't know.

[Adam Carolla]

She could be rebelling. Look, look, J.B. yeah. I think I would. I would contact her. I would just go, look, your dad's a friend of mine. I don't want to say anything to him, but I don't want you going anywhere else either. And this, it all seems like a great idea, but it's really a slippery slope here. And.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah, like, I've been doing this for so long. I can tell. It's like. You can almost feel. It's like, oh, broken, whatever.

[Adam Carolla]

Just tell her.

[Gina Grad]

Yes, well, and the other thing is, if you do decide to do her this favor and take her under your wing and then she goes to a gig or whatever, and it's. It goes south, she's going to tell dad and he's going to kick your ass. And you were just trying to do her a favor. It's not worth it.

[Adam Carolla]

I agree. Shall we? We got some baldiwood ready? Oh, yeah, Give it a second. Give it a second. On it, baby. Mmm. Inspiring peak performance with unique products, expertise, professional athletes, doctors, all based on the latest science and research on it. Onnit. They used to bring their Warrior bars over here, but everyone just devoured them. Made a buffalo.

[Brian Bishop]

Those are the big, beefy things.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, buffalo. Buffalo meat. 14 grams of protein, just 140 calories. No MSG, soy, lactose, antibiotics, nitrates, gluten, Nothing. Just buffalo, man. And MCT oil. By the way, you know Drew, who's always, you know, he rolls his eyes at everything, like a B vitamin or multivitamin.

[Caller/Guest]

He just rolls his eyes.

[Adam Carolla]

He's over there with the MCT oil from on it, and he's dumping in his coffee. He's like, oh, yeah, oh, for sure. I got two of them and I just went through them, so now I gotta get my third one. Anyway, derived from 100% pure coconut oil. It's healthy. It's great. I don't know why. Like I said, I've known Drew for 15 years and never seen him get excited about anything. MCT Oil. It didn't have to do with a Scantron test. MCT Oil. Alpha brain. Enhances focus and mental drive and memory. Anyway, try them all out. Go to onnit.com o N-I-T.com Adam, save 10%. Onnit.com let them know I sent you. All right, Brian. Hooray for Ballyward. He will tell you if a movie's good. Brian will review the flicks that he's seen up on the big screen or in his Netflix queue. Before you spend bucks, remember, his taste sucks. He loved that train wreck piece of shit Transformers 2. Hooray for Bounty Ward.

[Brian Bishop]

It's a documentary coming out in theaters. I don't know if you guys have heard about it. It's called Winning. Winning the Race of Life. I think is read in some poems now. Winning the Racing Life of Paul Newman. In theaters today, Friday. Directed by Adam Carolla. And it says additional directing by Nate Adams. What does that mean, I assume.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, I don't know if some of it. Some of it is Nate's a guy made it with. And some of the interviews, I did most of them, but because I used to be in the movie. And some of them.

[Brian Bishop]

You performed a corolactomy.

[Adam Carolla]

Performed a colectomy.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

So he helped. But he did a lot to help shape this movie.

[Brian Bishop]

Okay. This is starring, of course, Paul Newman, but also featuring interviews with celebrities like Robert Redford, Patrick Dempsey. Good job getting him on camera for his fiery death, by the way. Congratulations.

[Adam Carolla]

Thank you.

[Brian Bishop]

Robert Wagner, John Lasseter, Jay Leno, Mario and Michael Andretti. Also some great real life characters. Willie T. Ribs, I was not familiar with. He was. Great finish. Jim Fitzgerald was fantastic. And my favorite, maybe Arthur Newman, Paul's older brother.

[Adam Carolla]

Older brother, yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

Were there no Paul Newman. He would have been the hot one.

[Brian Bishop]

Yes, he was. He was a dashing man.

[Gina Grad]

Very.

[Brian Bishop]

So, yeah, you need these great real life characters. Adam, do you. Did you see a band called Death? It was at Phil's house once. I don't know if you were there for that or not. Documentary about the black punk band from Detroit.

[Adam Carolla]

No, I thought that was crazy. Oh, shit. What's the black punk band now? We'll think about it. Anyway, sorry, go ahead. A band called Deaf Brains. Bad Brains.

[Brian Bishop]

Okay. A band called Death is about a punk band from, like the 60s. A black punk Band. But it's interesting because I didn't know about them, but they have this great crazy uncle, and you gotta have those crazy characters kind of make the documentary jump off the screen. And there's some good crazy characters. Not even crazy, just eccentric.

[Gina Grad]

Larger than life. Yes.

[Brian Bishop]

Colorful characters in this movie. Another thing, I think I told you this face to face at the fight night. You gotta have, you know, this probably more than anyone. For a good documentary, you gotta have a little luck. Things have to kind of break your way. I was thinking specifically about Hoop Dreams, one of my favorite documentaries. They got very lucky that the two kids they started following in 8th grade ended up being high school superstars and played against each other in, like, the state finals. I mean, it was a great stroke of luck. Did you guys see the Queen of Versailles?

[Gina Grad]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Brian Bishop]

They got very lucky that the economy collapsed and the family lost a ton of money and they ended up with a great documentary. You guys got really lucky or fortunate. I don't know if you want to call it luck or fortune, but John Lasseter, you were saying, insisted on being in the movie sort of at the last minute.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Brian Bishop]

And it was a great button to the whole story, because it's an interesting story just about Paul Newman and Hollywood history and his sort of passion, a guy didn't know a ton about. But then you have this great button at the end of the movie that sort of brings it all home. Like, oh, we finally was able to marry this passion with his career and bring it all to one. It was his last.

[Adam Carolla]

Lassiter runs Pixar, did cars, directed cars.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

And brought this sport to a new generation, kids.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, yeah. And he insisted on being in it.

[Brian Bishop]

He called you and said, get a Southwest ticket and get up here and we'll make it happen.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. We had had the thing pretty much buttoned up. You know, we keep trying to button it up. It was a little bit long. We're trying to shorten it. You know, Lassiter's a gu. Who's not Robert Redford. You know, you don't. Might not recognize his name. You certainly wouldn't recognize his face. So we already sort of had it. And besides, he was a guy who directed a animated movie. We were focusing on Cool Hand Luke or whatever it is. But, yeah, he was a great part of it.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. The pillars of his career. But then, you know, this is a. This is a great button because it brought, like I said, the thing he loved and the thing he did, everyone knows him for and brought it all together. And it was A good button. It worked out.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

Obviously, very well. Well, with any doc. So obviously I enjoyed this movie very much. But with any documentary I enjoy, I have to take a step back and be like, is this going to be interesting to a general audience? Because I don't know much about racing. I'm obviously not much of a car guy, but this is Hollywood history, and this is a Hollywood legend. This is Paul Newman, a guy who's pretty private and didn't, you know, share a lot of himself. And to get this glimpse into his private life from people who knew him is fascinating to me. But is it going to be fascinating to everyone? I think so, because this is a universal theme of a guy following his path outside of what he's supposed to do. The studios are trying to hold him back and not let him race. And he's like, bucket. I'm gonna. I want to be known almost as a racer first. You want to be taken very seriously

[Gina Grad]

as a racer at that age, at

[Adam Carolla]

48 years old, at advanced age. Yeah. It's a. I always just say, watch it with your son and daughter and go there. There's how you go.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

That's what you do in life.

[Brian Bishop]

I think it's a very universal thing that everyone get behind. And I do suspect that some people who listen think that I. I have to agree with you or I have to like the things you do. And I do like most of the things you do. This is one of the best things you've ever done. It's a great documentary. See it in theaters or on itunes. It's very, very good.

[Adam Carolla]

Thank you. Congratulations. My dad loved it.

[Brian Bishop]

Well, why get him in here?

[Adam Carolla]

That's all you need to know. And he's not a fan.

[Brian Bishop]

It's in about 10 theaters. Mike August would have you not go see it. Now, was it August or was it someone else? He was like this.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know. You know, because of my upbringing, I am able to be pretty objective about things. And I will tell people, crank anchors or the man show, while I know is a very funny show, may not be everyone's cup of tea. My mom's not gonna like crank anchors. I don't know if your mom's gonna like crank anchors. There's a lot of people that are gonna like crank anchors. It's for a demo, and I would tell em. Oh, no. I think it's really creative, and I think it's really funny. But I could also see why maybe not for you. Not your thing. Man show home, catch a contractor. Maybe not Your thing. Maybe not your thing. This Newman thing. I really don't feel that way about anyone. Old, young, whatever your gender is, sexual proclivities, it really doesn't matter. I stand by this. If you said I want to bring my mom and, and her lesbian friend with me to see, I'd say absolutely. They're gonna enjoy it.

[Brian Bishop]

Your mom may enjoy it more than you in the sense. Well, in the sense that she probably grew up with Paul Newman. It was a contemporary or loved him on the screen or whatever. So playing in about 10 cities right now, of course. Itunes and more Digital downloads available. Newmanracingfilm.com But I really liked it. Check it out.

[Caller/Guest]

Thank you.

[Adam Carolla]

Hooray for bounty war.

[Gina Grad]

Can I make one more comment about it?

[Brian Bishop]

Nope. Hollywood's over.

[Gina Grad]

Okay, if you insist on, or if you only have access to watching it, say on your computer, do yourself. At the very least, do yourself this favor and at least put on your headphones because the, the noise and the sound in this movie is I think, critical to the experience because it's a racing movie and it's awesome. And I think it'll help a lot

[Adam Carolla]

if you, I mean, it was so loud and pulsating that my agent, James baby almost didn't fall asleep in the first 20 minutes.

[Brian Bishop]

He twitched. Every time the engine wrapped, he twitched a little bit.

[Adam Carolla]

He went to the premiere and fell

[Brian Bishop]

asleep, scratched himself like a dog.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, where were we? Ah, don't bring. Thank you. Then we'll bring Kelly James in. And now Alcoa presents Definitely Not a Jew on the Atom Corolla show Tateline, Key West, Florida. A 35 year old man is facing animal cruelty charges after attempting to sell live iguanas that he hog tied with wire and duct tape. Definitely not a Kelly James. What's up buddy? One of our favorites Kelly James in studio TV show. TV show.

[Kelly James]

Yeah, it's, it's, it's based online right now. The goal being tv but doing a show for Golf Digest called why Golf. We, we, we just shot the pilot about a month and a half ago and executive producing with Ricky Fowler.

[Adam Carolla]

How does it work?

[Kelly James]

It's a, it's pretty cool because it's, it's really focusing on the lifestyle side of golf. You know, just more get away from the X's and O's of the game. Get away from the technical side of the game and you know, let's get some guys who may or may not be hammered gambling and talking a little bit of at each other and gambling

[Adam Carolla]

when you golf can take it to a whole new level.

[Brian Bishop]

This is gambling off the golf course or gambling.

[Adam Carolla]

No gambling about the golf course.

[Kelly James]

And as you very well know, I mean, there's a lot of guys out there that play a lot of big money games. I was, I was actually at this spot in Bahamas about two weeks ago, and Michael Jordan was playing in a money game and he made a putt 12ft on the 18th hole to win 50 grand on that hole. And so, I mean, gambling takes golf to a whole new level. People love to get their adrenaline going.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, gambling takes throwing a ball of foil that had a burrito in it 10 minutes ago into a waste paper can 13ft away on to a whole new level.

[Caller/Guest]

It makes.

[Adam Carolla]

It's like. It's like the booze of. Of life. It makes everything better. If I said, I'm going to throw this fucking burrito wrapper into that trash can from here, you'd go, I don't give a shit. And I said, for five grand, you make it now. All are now. It's insanely interesting to everybody. Kelly is here. Kelly always plays. Kelly always blows me away because he takes the time topics, does the improvisational, turns it into a rap, and plays the music at the same time. And again, as I always say, because of my low or no self esteem, if I think I can do something, I don't appreciate it. But if I think, but if I look at someone doing something and go, there's no way I could do that, then I really appreciate it. And that's why I respect the hell out of Kelly James. But I was listening to little Wiz Khalid Khalifa, he was playing. And Wiz Khalil didn't see that coming.

[Gina Grad]

Nope.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, let me say this, hold on a second. Gary. He was the featured act at musical act on snl, I think it was last week. And I'd heard a lot of Wiz Khalifa, Wiz Khalifa this and Wiz Khalifa that, but I didn't know exactly what he did. I figured he rapped. But then there's these. There's rap and there's good rap and there's bad rap and there's. I don't know what he does rap. And then there's guys that you go, oh my God, like, you know, John Legend or something. You go, wow, that guy's a bona fide talent. He's not a rap star. But I mean, you go, that guy's not.

[Brian Bishop]

All black guys are rapping around, right? Majority. Vast majority.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Caller/Guest]

Of the.

[Adam Carolla]

Of the general populace, yeah.

[Kelly James]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

That's what I Mean, okay, is that not clear?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. And then, I don't know, Alicia Keys, another black. But I was saying, you see what people do, and you go, oh, my God. And then there's people where you kind of go. You see P. Diddy, and you kind of go, I think I could rip off a Led Zeppelin song and yap over it.

[Brian Bishop]

That's all he does.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

Like, that's what you say to yourself.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't know if it's Alicia Keys or Wiz Khalifa. It's P. Diddy. Like, I'm not sure who's what. It's just a bunch of people who. I probably don't know what their thing is. And I think to myself, let's not judge. So he's coming up, you know, tonight's musical act on snl, Wiz Khalifa. And I'm like, okay, let's. Maybe I'm going to be blown away.

[Brian Bishop]

Time to judge.

[Adam Carolla]

All right. We can watch whiz, you know, basically tear up the stage on snl.

[Gina Grad]

Ladies and gentlemen, Whiz Khalifa.

[Lori Grenier]

That's.

[Adam Carolla]

It's been a long day. That's not Wiz Khalifa.

[Brian Bishop]

I've been led astray.

[Kelly James]

Nothing like being featured on Saturday Night

[Adam Carolla]

Live and not leading off, not having to do anything. Charlie Puth, he's playing the piano and singing, so. So I go, I can't do that. Wiz has not made a sound yet.

[Promo Voice]

Damn.

[Adam Carolla]

Who knew? All the planes. I know we love to hit the road and laugh but something told me that it wouldn't last had to switch up, look at things different, see the bigger picture Those were the days Hard work forever pays Now I see you in a better place now when the singing starts, the guy in the back starts, does the singing.

[Brian Bishop]

We're singing together.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes. That feels like pretty light lifting for

[Gina Grad]

W. Back to Richie Cunningham.

[Adam Carolla]

He's not playing any instruments.

[Brian Bishop]

Whis Khalifa featuring Whiskey.

[Caller/Guest]

This.

[Adam Carolla]

This guy drinking, like, hot lemon water before the show. And whiz is getting blown and ripping a bong leg.

[Brian Bishop]

He's got to figure it out, man.

[Adam Carolla]

And the backup singers could all sing. Everyone could sing better than whiz. He is moving his arms, to be

[Gina Grad]

fair to Wiz, went right into a dance break.

[Adam Carolla]

Now the singing's going on back there that. He's done about 16% of the work so far.

[Brian Bishop]

Team effort.

[Adam Carolla]

And when brotherhood come first in that vine will never be crossed Established it on the when that line had to be drawn in that vine is what we so remember me when I'm gone How can we not talk about all right, I'm. I get the feeling the guy singing behind him has more chops in the scene department, but. All right. Old man Corolla.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, I don't think it's about the singing, per se.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, I'm still watching this going. Wiz Khalifa's the featured guest that. Now, if you said to me, tomorrow you're going to get coached up by the best, but tomorrow you've got to do one of the 18 jobs on stage tomorrow, it would be fucking Wiz Khalifa in a landslide. It would certainly not be the guy playing the keyboards. It would not be the guy playing the piano and singing falsetto. Wouldn't be the drummer. It wouldn't be anything but Wiz.

[Gina Grad]

How are you at closing your eyes and shaking your dreads?

[Adam Carolla]

I can do that. I can do that. And we can just stick a little fake teardrop tattoo on me. All right. Now, I know I'm a dickhead, but my whole thing is like, I want to look at performers and go, man, that guy's a virtuoso. Or I could never. Or whatever that. Whatever the hell it is. I just want to go, I could never do that. I don't know anyone who can do that.

[Brian Bishop]

I don't know enough about. Kelly might know more about the hip hop or the rapping. It seemed good to me, but he surrounded himself with a lot of talent, and it made it look a lot better. I think.

[Kelly James]

I think that Adam has a great point, especially if you don't know. Featured on Saturday Night Live. You would expect to be blown away. They could choose anyone in the world. You think it would be one of those performances every single time. Time where your mind would be blown in this situation. Wiz is more of a culture guy. He's like the new Snoop.

[Allison Rosen]

It's.

[Kelly James]

It's bigger than his performance. He has a million other things. It's not about song.

[Brian Bishop]

The whole song.

[Kelly James]

Yeah, but I'm. I'm kind of with Adam. If you're going to step on the stage at Saturday Night Live, you. You better be bringing something incredible.

[Adam Carolla]

Have it start with the one guy playing the piano and singing most of the song. And then you kick in and start talking in the middle of it, and then you stand back again.

[Gina Grad]

Then you take a knee real quick.

[Adam Carolla]

All right. All right. By the way, say, for weighing in

[Kelly James]

on Wiz Khalifa, it's like punting on third down ways.

[Adam Carolla]

Kelly, you can also weigh in on something else. Did I tell people when they send me the tribute to John, what's his name from Burn, the Deep Purple thing. I don't know if you guys are down with this, but when you take a big time rock song and then you put the whole English philharmonic behind the them, it's always good.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, sure.

[Gina Grad]

Epic.

[Adam Carolla]

Always epic. And somebody tweeted me this. It was. This is Burn celebrating John Lawrence. Just turn this up and listen. He was a keyboardist for Deep Purple, I think. And this is one of my favorite.

[Kelly James]

Turn it up.

[Adam Carolla]

It's my favorite beat. Purple songs with the full orchestra.

[Brian Bishop]

Still got it.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, you got to turn it up. It's the greatest thing ever.

[Caller/Guest]

This is.

[Adam Carolla]

Never learn. When I leave, it's no return. People laugh when she say. No one was. Sam. All right, if you just Skip to about 30 seconds from the end, I have my theory. Theory is why the English rock harder than we do.

[Brian Bishop]

They steal for our black artists.

[Adam Carolla]

The who's and the Stones, the Zeppelins, is because their guys get classically trained and then they turn their shit toward. They're like somebody who trains in Brazil in jiu jitsu their whole life. And then they get into the octagon and start kicking the shit out of people. But first they get that base and these guys all get this classical training and then they turn it toward rock and roll. And we get third Eye Blind. You see what I mean? We get good looking guys who go, I want to get my dick sucked, but I don't really want to read music. I don't write music. I don't read music. I don't play anything. I just want to get my dick sucked. I don't get paid. But it doesn't. I mean, just go the last 30 last 40 seconds. This song, this is this guy playing the keyboard.

[Kelly James]

That's nothing. That's nothing Wiz Khalifa couldn't do.

[Adam Carolla]

Where would Wiz land in there?

[Gina Grad]

He'd go up to the mic and be like. And then go dance again.

[Adam Carolla]

Somebody sent me this and I put it on like the big screen and I sort of got my kids and my wife in the room and I

[Brian Bishop]

said, forced them to like it.

[Adam Carolla]

Fucking rock out. This is fucking rock and roll.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, that was cacophony, but that was great. Sometimes cacophony can be great.

[Adam Carolla]

That big wall of sound, that was awesome, by the way. That song had another three and a half minutes left. And that song was about to kick into overdrive in the rock and roll department. So I don't know what that is, but where can someone find that?

[Brian Bishop]

I want to watch the whole thing.

[Adam Carolla]

I want to see the whole thing, too.

[Brian Bishop]

Gary, No, I don't want to see it now. I do.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, yeah, tell us where we can find. Somebody just sent that to me, tweeted me that. I don't know if they cut it, it'll be on our website. No, but I mean, like, you can get the whole thing. Can you get the whole thing anywhere?

[Brian Bishop]

I've spent some time looking for concerts.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Kelly James]

All right, look like there was a DVD or something they were trying to put.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, let's get it. I want to do it. All right, Kelly, sorry.

[Kelly James]

I will say this. You know, I know you've changed many people's lives. There should be a whole segment on Adam changed my life.

[Adam Carolla]

Life.

[Kelly James]

But you changed my life significantly in your whole left turn scenario with the signal. My wife and I, we call it the Corolla. When we roll up to a sign, just. Just Corolla, she goes right through and there's a turn right by my house. Every single time, it's that red light and I rip right through it.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, it should never turn red. It should go green and then go back to whatever the other signal is. It shouldn't do it. And it wouldn't do it it if the city just didn't have flat out disdain for its citizens.

[Brian Bishop]

You know what's prime? Red turn arrow, running country is right outside the improv. When we leave, there are a lot of red arrows that are holding up life and no traffic. Very empty.

[Adam Carolla]

They put everything on a timer. They can't put that on a fucking

[Brian Bishop]

timer or a sensor or something.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, as I've said a million times, when they want to make money, if you pass through an intersection a millisecond too late, a strobe light will flash that will get a shot of you. They will get a close up shot of your license plate, they'll get a shot of your front license plate, your rear license plate, and that thing will land in your mailbox in three days with an address for you to make check payable to and send it back. That's the kind of technology they can employ if they want, but when it comes to the rain sensor that stops the sprinkler on the side of the freeway when it's raining outside, that they

[Gina Grad]

don't got no can do.

[Adam Carolla]

And what they can't do is put the red light or the red arrow on a fucking timer where it's like not weekends or not after 8pm or whatever the fuck, whatever necessitated this arrow, I thought. It's all right, hold on.

[Brian Bishop]

Thanks, Kelly.

[Adam Carolla]

We are fucking retarded. We are fucking retarded. And I'll tell you why. Because what we did is we put this arrow up and we went, why do we need this arrow? And they went. Well, during rush hour, like early, you know, let's say 7:30 to 9:00am and then later on at like 5, you know, not weekend, not late, but during peak traffic times, this thing is necessary. And I go, okay, good, but we'll run it all the time. You think about how that would apply to anything. Let's just say you had. Let's just say you had a restaurant. It's fucking happy hour. The place was a zoo. Yeah. Now it's 1:30am on Wednesday. Same staff, same everything. What if you did this for everything,

[Brian Bishop]

why is that snowplow going down the street? Well, during certain months of the year, massive amounts of snow.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, it's August.

[Kelly James]

Why is Khalifa on every Saturday Night Live episode?

[Adam Carolla]

Why are we salting the road? Imagine any business running like this. Fucking insane. Fucking insane. All right, where were we? So good. Everyone just drive through.

[Allison Rosen]

Screw them.

[Adam Carolla]

It's your right. It's your right. Here's the deal. They fucked up. They fucked up. There are no cars coming at you turn. It's perfectly safe.

[Promo Voice]

And that's what you said.

[Kelly James]

And the situation exists in so many other intersections. And the point you made in the book was proceed with caution. Do it like you would on any other, you know, where it just stays green. You can make the left hand turn when it's safe, you know.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Why, by the way, you understand government. The more of the thinking you do for us, the more we start shutting down to eventually, literally, we're just morbidly obese. Just fucking, just blobs. Just sort of coasting through this society. I mean, like, get us thinking you don't want us to tune out, then let us use our own decision making. By the way, when you drive a car, when you're pulling in your garage, you have to apply the brake. There's many decisions to make in a car. Turning left is just one of them.

[Gina Grad]

Yep. One of many.

[Adam Carolla]

Fine. Oh, you found the whole, you found the whole thing. Wow. Gary. All right, Gary. All I need is. All I need is the last two and a half minutes of that song. I'll let you work on that. Kelly, it's ready. Oh, it is. All right. I, I, I, I'm, I'm sorry. I want, I've had a very long week. I'd like to rock out for one.

[Brian Bishop]

This is your comfort food.

[Adam Carolla]

That. All. And another thing. Oh, man. There's got to be nothing better than that, right? Sweet being out on, huh? Ah, Kelly, we all should have learned to play the instrument. Thank you. All right, I'll tell you what, Kelly. Why don't you ask your question?

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah.

[Kelly James]

Oh, Gina's never seen it.

[Gina Grad]

I have no idea what's happening. I can't wait.

[Adam Carolla]

And he does a rendition of Burn that's gonna blow you away.

[Brian Bishop]

It's a little crazier. We just saw.

[Adam Carolla]

And then I'll give a little love to a sponsor, and you can digest, and then we'll get started with Kelly James, man.

[Kelly James]

All right, so. So, Gina, I pretty much just. I get a random topic, and you can give me whatever you want. A random thought, a word, in a moment, motion. And then I try not to suck in front of Adam.

[Gina Grad]

You know, it's a worthy goal.

[Kelly James]

And so you could say anything you want, but whatever you say is what I. I'm gonna have to freestyle about. So you can choose. Adam's already got something brewing.

[Brian Bishop]

Choose wisely.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh, am I chiming in here?

[Kelly James]

Oh, you're gonna chime in.

[Adam Carolla]

Okay.

[Kelly James]

I might even need to get one from Brian, too. I know that.

[Brian Bishop]

Probably not.

[Kelly James]

It's under his pay grade, but he can give me something. So you can just say whatever you want. You got thought and emotion, a word, anything.

[Gina Grad]

Not to be too ghostbusters, but can I tell you the first thing that came to mind? Marshmallow fluff.

[Kelly James]

Marshmallow fluff.

[Allison Rosen]

Delicious.

[Adam Carolla]

I tried to pick the savior thing I could.

[Caller/Guest]

Man.

[Kelly James]

Adam, you got anything for me?

[Adam Carolla]

I'm going left turn arrow.

[Kelly James]

Left turn arrow. All right.

[Adam Carolla]

Do you need any more?

[Kelly James]

I mean, Brian, you can throw one

[Brian Bishop]

in if you want a meatloaf.

[Kelly James]

Meatloaf?

[Adam Carolla]

The dude or the food? Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

No, no, no. The delicious. Let's just ground hamburger.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

Savory meal like mom used to cook.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, I'm thinking trunk club over here. They just sent me two big, beautiful boxes filled with stuff. And you get a designer, and you tell them what your vibe is, and they send you stuff, and when they do, you pick out the stuff you like, you keep it, and the stuff you don't like, you send it back. It's called trunk club. Yeah. And it's really going to the mall and all, you know, know, especially. Especially as a dude, you know, Your size.

[Brian Bishop]

The worst.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. It's just. What do you win? And I. I even. I hate going to the place and trying this stuff on, and. You ever do a thing where you go into the. You go into the part where you're gonna try something on, and you grab one of the doors and you pull, and it's excuse you. Like, there's stuff.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. Like, you. Like you've overstepped some boundary.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. We don't really have a system worked out yet for knowing when somebody's in. Okay. And then they make everyone a thief. Like, oh, yeah.

[Brian Bishop]

How many items you got there, sir? Let me hang that number outside your door.

[Gina Grad]

And do you know how hard it is to try on clothes when you're bloated from wetzel's pretzels?

[Adam Carolla]

Yes.

[Gina Grad]

So they're just bringing it to you?

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Trunk Club.com Adam answer any questions. You. You just check it out, and you find out exactly. Exactly what you want, and then they'll send you a trunk. And like I said, you keep the stuff you. You want, the stuff you don't want, you send back, and it's all good. Check out trunk club.com Adam, answer a few questions about your look, your style, your size, and then you'll get assigned an expert. And I talked to my expert. Sounded hot, by the way. At least he did. Finds a clothes. No, it's a chick who's right for you, and they'll send you, and then you keep them. You want what you don't want, you send back. Trunk Club.com Adam. All right, now, Kelly, let's see. We got meatloaf. We got marshmallow fluff. We got right. No, left turn, left turn. Arrows.

[Promo Voice]

The other day I'm hanging with my friends. I drive around again and again. We a little high. It was 4:20. Yeah. You know, but we have no money, no. So now we getting stoned all day, and half my dudes, yeah, they trying to get laid, but they can't. Yes. You know, so we hanging with the bros. We so damn stone. Eat meat, smoke meatloaf and marshmallows flush and we ain't had enough. So now I'm, like, looking in the mirror, like, in my buff. No, I'm not. So I need to go back to my own spot. But I'm sitting at this red light. I'm like, duh, God, why don't you turn left and everybody's over there? And now all my friends left and I don't even know. And I'm so damn stoned, I fell asleep at the lot. And I'm like, oh, no, there's a cop behind me, and it's getting crazy. His lights are red and blue, and I'm like, I'm hazy, I can't see through the screen of my own window I'm like, oh my God, where's, Where the hell do I go now? The cops getting out and my car's still in park and I know that I shouldn't be driving this late after dark and I got this meatloaf on the front seat, you see and I thought it was my friend, but now I got all this is me. And I'm sitting there like, oh damn, here comes this cop. And I'm praying that this world and this bad dream will stop. But it's reality, you see yeah, heaven sent. And then I stepped on the gas and ooh, I turned left Now I'm running from the cops and I don't even no, I'm like a ghost in Ghostbusters Marshmallow, marshmallow man please put me on the fire now you know well I'm calling my wife on the wire Like I did a bad thing I shouldn't have pulled a Corolla I'm going through red lights, yeah and I'm so stoned cuz I don't even know where to go. I don't know. She's like, it's okay, come home and get some meatloaf and have a little dinner. Now I'm sitting at the table, she's looking at me like, are you really willing and able to drive back out there in your car to go get your friends? And I'm like, yeah, I don't know. My life already about to end. This cop is on to me. He's looking at my neighborhood though. And I'm like, damn, I should have really went and drive slow but I had to go and fall asleep at the light. Why wasn't it just fucking green? Don't they get me? I know, right? And it's okay. The government's got them conspiracies. They could do a lot and they will go and charge some fees if you're gonna go and do some things like run a red light all night, you know they gonna take a picture of your whole car and then send you to the jail or wherever you want. Epic fail. Dmv, yes, you know me, they own my tail. Cause I've paid so many tickets I'm freaking broke. And all I wanna do is hang out my friends and smoke and eat some marshmallow fluffs and some leftover meatloaf and just sit around and go and pull a toke and you know that's what you do. But they always screwing you cops like, uh, you ain't gonna go through it's true, Rojo. And it's the arrow and it's pointing left. And I'm like, God damn. I wish they would have left that part out of the design of those traffic lights. But they just trying to make me miserable over at night so I can just sit there and be a sitting duck for a cop who's like, boom, he's gonna go and fuck me over and make me pay. Or better yet, you see, he's gonna take me to jail. Cause my blood alcohol's a 0.23, but it's okay. Cause that's. That's all I want to do is just drive around. Green light today is true. And that's all I gotta say about freestyle flow. Marshmallow Fluff Meatloaf on the Corolla show.

[Adam Carolla]

Wiz Khalifa could not do that. That's what I'm saying.

[Kelly James]

A little dark on that one.

[Adam Carolla]

Love it, man. Kelly James mind numbing website. KellyJames doing live shows with his band every Tuesday at this spaghetti in Beverly Hills. Where is that?

[Kelly James]

Yeah, Spaghettini.

[Adam Carolla]

It's right next to Spaghettini.

[Kelly James]

Sorry, Right next to Spago.

[Adam Carolla]

And I put together Spaghettini Spaghetti. Yeah, Spaghetti Factory Paschetti.

[Kelly James]

It's a new venue right next to Spago in Beverly Hills. And I put together this band called Flo Tet. Drummer plays for Robin Thicke. Sax player plays for Timberlake. I mean, just a stacked band of unbelievable talented dudes. And to me it's like this unbelievable, like crew thing that I get to do on Tuesday nights. I play guitar kind of out of my Kelly James Lane. But I still do all the freestyle stuff.

[Brian Bishop]

And what time generally we usually play

[Kelly James]

about like 8, 8:30 somewhere in there. And the band just goes, we'll play anything at any time.

[Adam Carolla]

I have to say, go enjoy some live music. There's a little Chinese place by where I live and they have this like three dudes and they just play stuff and it's like, it's not overpowering. It's not the mariachi band coming to your table, but it's just nice.

[Brian Bishop]

I feel like that's coming back a little bit. This sort of live entertainment.

[Adam Carolla]

I like, like it.

[Kelly James]

Yeah. And especially, especially when the musicians are real musicians. Dawson actually was there. He came and you gotta admit, these musicians can play.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Me and Chris went out there and they've got an incredible stage.

[Lori Grenier]

The.

[Adam Carolla]

The sound system is beautiful.

[Kelly James]

Off the charts.

[Adam Carolla]

And these musicians were badass. I actually recorded the whole set and be playing it on my podcast this Saturday and next Saturday. So Kelly James Live front of house on Saturday. Wow.

[Gina Grad]

And it's very interactive, apparently.

[Kelly James]

Absolutely.

[Gina Grad]

Awesome.

[Kelly James]

Yes. I mean, like I said, as you pointed out, like, there's something about live music. Like when you watch those guys with the whole orchestra. I mean, that's real, real, real talent. Like, and not to demean anybody in any different way, but when you spend decades of your life practicing which these dudes in this band, you know, have, it just comes across and it's an emotional experience.

[Adam Carolla]

I. I agree. And my thing is I'm across the board with, with it. With comedy, standup, acting, art, painting, any kind of creative endeavor if you suck. Look, everybody wants groupies. Everyone wants the payday. Everyone wants to trash a hotel room. Everyone wants to get off the airplane, have the paparazzi going on.

[Brian Bishop]

I'm a podcaster.

[Adam Carolla]

Everybody wants this. I understand. Every young person. When you talk to my daughter, she's 8 years old. What do you want to do? I want to be a movie star. I want to be this. And I'm going to be famous. I want to be on billboards. Yes, we all want to be. But if you don't have the talent, stay the home because you're wasting my time with what you call art.

[Brian Bishop]

Demotivational speaker Adam Corolla.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah, he's got.

[Adam Carolla]

Kelly's got two things in this band that make bands awesome. Number one is a horn section. Trumpet.

[Caller/Guest]

And sacks.

[Adam Carolla]

Love it. And then two, the dude on the electric piano. I love that dude.

[Brian Bishop]

Ray Charles.

[Kelly James]

He owns his name.

[Adam Carolla]

Things like Ray. It's amazing.

[Kelly James]

Justin Hopkins has like this like kind of Joe Cockerish voice. Just so soulful. The sax player plays for John Legend. Like, these are talented, talented musicians.

[Gina Grad]

Find these hats.

[Kelly James]

It was. I know. God. Just pick them up off the Saturday Night Live stage.

[Brian Bishop]

It'll get better. Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

All right. Should we do some news with Gina Graham?

[Gina Grad]

Let's do it.

[Adam Carolla]

Give me the news with grab News with Gino Grad show. Big congress tech news, sports news, world news. Give me news with Gina Grad. Weird shit out of Florida sex service Obama need. News with Gina Gina. The news with Gina Grad.

[Brian Bishop]

See Kelly, that's a song.

[Kelly James]

That's a hit.

[Gina Grad]

Take a. Yeah, take a lesson. Australian journalist Samantha Armitage has apologized after a comment she made on the air recently, dubbed by some viewers dubbed her racist. The cause of the controversy came when the Sunrise TV show host interviewed non identical twins from the uk, Lucy and Maria Elmer. They've become a sensation around the world because they have opposite skin tones. One is darker skin with Darker hair. And the other one was congratulated by Samantha for having lighter skin and lighter hair.

[Adam Carolla]

Now they have a black and a white parent.

[Gina Grad]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

So they have a mix. Mom is black and dad's white. Or either way around, they're expressing different genes and normally they just sort of come out most. Okay, the hair. I'd say that the black gene seems to be the dominant gene. Normally when I see mixed, they seem like black kids.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, well, when you're making chocolate milk, you have a whole glass of milk and just a few drops of Hershey's and next thing you know, it's.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, there goes the neighborhood.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, exactly. Values drop.

[Adam Carolla]

That's right. Understood.

[Gina Grad]

Kelly, don't laugh.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, because this is racist.

[Gina Grad]

This is for sure an oddity, which is why they're doing right. It gets all over.

[Adam Carolla]

See the red hair, the ginger hairs, they'd say over there. And the white skin.

[Gina Grad]

Exactly.

[Adam Carolla]

Every. The girl that we're looking at on the left looks like everybody I've ever seen from a mixed couple. All right, so here it is.

[Gina Grad]

So this is how they introduce these girls.

[Adam Carolla]

Obviously black. The other is white. The Alma twins come from a mixed race family in the uk.

[Gina Grad]

Maria has taken after her half Jamaican

[Adam Carolla]

mum with dark skin and brown eyes and curly, curly dark hair.

[Gina Grad]

But Lucy got her dad's fair skin,

[Adam Carolla]

good on it, along with straight red

[Gina Grad]

hair and blue eyes. That was a great look from London.

[Adam Carolla]

Good morning to you girls.

[Gina Grad]

Now, Maria, Maria, how hard is it? Good honor.

[Adam Carolla]

Good on her.

[Gina Grad]

Good honor. Of course, she's so afraid that everyone's gonna think she's a racist because she's not. But. Oh, my God, that was a slip of the tongue.

[Brian Bishop]

I don't think she was like, congratulations, good on her. That was a. I think she was.

[Adam Carolla]

I'll defend her. I'll defend her by saying, yeah, well, I'm a little caught in between here.

[Gina Grad]

Look at him.

[Adam Carolla]

I think she's trying to be. I think there's. She said it took after her dad or got her dad's whatever. Trying to think.

[Kelly James]

So she was covering up like the masculinity sort of like, dig, maybe like, you look like your dad or, you know.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah, there's. There's.

[Brian Bishop]

This is a bubbly morning show. I'm going dumb more than racist, but.

[Adam Carolla]

But anyway, let me see the guy's look.

[Gina Grad]

He looks like a scared turtle.

[Adam Carolla]

Hold on. I could. I could definitely would buy a coffee table book. Not of the people's reaction shows the people's next to them with what's going on while the thing, you know. Well, black people have less bone density, so they tend to float easier. Not that guy. I'm not interested in that guy. I'm interested in the guy up in the weather.

[Gina Grad]

Or the other famous one when she said he scaled a mountain, but instead of blind, he's gay. Blind.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. Just that person who sits next to them, you know?

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. Reaction shots.

[Kelly James]

Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

So she's very, very sorry.

[Brian Bishop]

We can make a bit out of that. Guess what the host said based on the reaction shot.

[Adam Carolla]

All right, good honor.

[Brian Bishop]

All right, good honor.

[Gina Grad]

Well, the lead singer of Maroon 5, Adam Levine, was leaving the building after an appearance on Jimmy kimmel Wednesday when a fan went up to him and threw a fistful of powdered sugar in his face. This presumably happened in honor of Maroon 5's new song called sugar. Levine was pissed about the incident, tried to get it off his coat, removed his jacket, was escorted off the premises, and the sugar bomber was arrested for battery. And there's a picture of him literally just cast like a flower bound. Yeah. And very angry on the other side.

[Brian Bishop]

He's not. Not having a good life about it.

[Adam Carolla]

No.

[Gina Grad]

No, he wasn't.

[Promo Voice]

Look at that.

[Gina Grad]

I'd be pissed, too. That's not cool.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, that throw rug sweater he's making. 11 Angora sheep gave their lives so that he could have that fucking retarded sweater. There's nothing. There's no worse piece of apparel. Like you're hoping when you're sugar flower bombed that you're wearing a windbreaker from Santa Anita. Right. Like that. The number one thing is windbreaker day, by the way. Do we need something that shouts loser from the mountaintop or could we just whisper it? You know, when you're wearing this, like windbreaker day, it's Santa Anita tote bag day. If you're ever seen in public with that, you are a fucking loser. But what you want? I'd say windbreakers. Probably number number one. Right?

[Kelly James]

Or rain jacket. Maybe poncho.

[Adam Carolla]

Poncho daddy.

[Kelly James]

Hollywood casino.

[Gina Grad]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

He is wearing something from dances with crocheting needles or something. Some kind of eating and Indian parent.

[Brian Bishop]

But that was under his couch at one point.

[Adam Carolla]

That is plush.

[Allison Rosen]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, that ain't. That's one of those things where you blow it out with some compressed air, you put it through the washing machine a few times, and then two weeks later, still smells sweet.

[Gina Grad]

Flies attacking, you get ants. I hesitate to do this, but I feel like I would be doing you guys a disservice. Has anyone seen the trailer for human centipede Three.

[Brian Bishop]

Fuck, yes.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, of course you have.

[Adam Carolla]

I missed two.

[Gina Grad]

All right, well, I think you'll be able to follow three.

[Adam Carolla]

Here's the deal.

[Gina Grad]

Here's what's going on.

[Brian Bishop]

You never saw Human Centipede.

[Gina Grad]

Oh, it's so great.

[Adam Carolla]

What is? I. You know, are you familiar with the broad strokes other than, listen, I was forced to see two girls, one cup or something like that?

[Brian Bishop]

Nobody's admittedly different.

[Adam Carolla]

No, no, no.

[Brian Bishop]

He was duped.

[Adam Carolla]

Listen, before, it was a thing. Let me explain something to everybody, and I hope they would follow along here. I have hypervigilance. I notice everything too much, and there's too much running around here already. Somebody will say, you know, so and so show or so and so did this. Or talk some shit about you or something. You want to go on the computer and check it out? And I go, no. I assume that almost every moment of every day, someone is either calling me a douchebag or thinking I'm a douchebag. I don't need to confirm it. I just don't need to confirm it. I understand it and I know there's plenty of horrible things that are going on out there. Oh, the guy who's mma. The compound fracture, check. I heard what you said and I understand what you're saying. I do not, not need to see it. Yeah, I'm with you. You get me?

[Brian Bishop]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

So when. Well, now it was, oh, the late, great Robert Shimmel.

[Brian Bishop]

Cancer stricken Robert Schimmel.

[Adam Carolla]

Love Robert Schimmel. I really. I was a mensch. I love that guy. He's a great comedian. Produce Bob, he used to show up, bring a bunch of produce. The morning show. He literally just popped open his laptop and he said, hey, have you seen this? You got to check this out. He's a comedian.

[Caller/Guest]

It wasn't a thing.

[Brian Bishop]

No one knew what it was at this point.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, we'd sort of heard of it or something, but I didn't. I didn't need to check it out. Yeah, I said, oh, you gotta check this out. And it's comedian. There's some funny. YouTube Funny or Die or something like that. And he just pressed the button and boom, there it was. Like, I could not ever unsee it. Yes. Yeah.

[Kelly James]

So you're running it through your brain right now. I say it in your eyes.

[Brian Bishop]

Shimmel's final gift to you.

[Adam Carolla]

There it is. Is, yeah. Two girls, one tombstone. Payback's a bitch, dude.

[Brian Bishop]

You showed him.

[Adam Carolla]

I did show him.

[Brian Bishop]

He would laugh at that.

[Adam Carolla]

We got square. Took a while, but we got square. So when the Human Centipede thing was kind of described to me, I went, nah, I'm out. Okay, I'm good.

[Gina Grad]

Fair enough. Totally.

[Adam Carolla]

As long as there's Con Air and porn.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, I'm covered.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm covered.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, right.

[Adam Carolla]

But you tell me, Brian, did you see the Human Centipede?

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, Human Centipede. Who here has seen it? Okay, Human Centipede, on the. On the scale of simply good or not good is actually a good movie.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, it's pretty good.

[Brian Bishop]

I expect to be schlocky and over the top horror nonsense. It's actually kind of a well made thriller.

[Caller/Guest]

It's.

[Brian Bishop]

It's definitely low budge, but there is some good stuff in there.

[Adam Carolla]

Low budge, but high fudge.

[Caller/Guest]

Low budge.

[Brian Bishop]

High fudge. I think we're gonna do better than that. Good night, everyone. The doctor. Dr. Heiter. He's great. The evil German doctor. It's two girls who American tourists break down. Their car breaks down. They seek shelter in a rainstorm in this doctor's mansion. And turns out he's a mad scientist who used to separate conjoined twins. And now his mind is crazy and he wants to unite people, put them together into a human centipede. Ass to mouth with one digestive tract, so their poop feeds the next one Sounds awful.

[Gina Grad]

You're gonna get sepsis.

[Brian Bishop]

It is awesome. Awful. Yeah, the sepsis happens. But you know what?

[Gina Grad]

If only there's already an Asian guy strapped down in the.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, he already had one prisoner. He just needed the next two. And luckily these two girls showed up.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah. All right, so I didn't see two.

[Brian Bishop]

It's an effective thriller.

[Gina Grad]

But three, what I would really like is to actually show the whole thing. But it's two minutes. I don't know if you can take it. So I'll basically. I'll give you the premise. There is a crazy, deranged prison warden and he's real into torture. He waterboards people with piping hot water. He's crazy. And he believes in medieval torture. And he's looking for a way to control this overpopulated penitentiary. And somebody, I think, sends them the first DVDs of the movies of human centered.

[Adam Carolla]

So it's a little.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah, you lift the fourth wall. And then they consult a doctor to see if it can be done. And he said, I think it can. And hilarity ensues. If you want to see the hilarity,

[Adam Carolla]

what do you think the budget was for the first one?

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, I remember hearing it was something around a million dollars. It's a low budget movie.

[Adam Carolla]

What do you think, doc? It looks medically epic accurate. I don't see why someone couldn't survive a lifetime.

[Caller/Guest]

Peace.

[Adam Carolla]

Good word to men. This is a violation of human rights. It's certainly a violation federal freaks to get the death penalty. This is beyond medieval torture. Beyond castration. The unpicked correction. First human presence Centipede. Wow. Human center. This is exactly what America needs. Oh boy.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah. So it's designed to freak you out.

[Gina Grad]

May 22nd.

[Brian Bishop]

You know how movies have digital feature? You know, movies have taglines, you know, like whatever. The tagline tagline for the first movie was 100% medically accurate. That's how they sold it.

[Adam Carolla]

This one, the slug line on this is Eric Roberts agent kills himself. Literally claimed a life during the filming of this Eric Robert ate so much of his own fecal matter that he actually killed himself.

[Brian Bishop]

Last thing his agent ever saw in life.

[Gina Grad]

Shall we move on?

[Adam Carolla]

Let's move on to Reverie bed. That's how we move on. I did my favorite thing this morning. I was going to be the first one up, the first one out. It was Riverside and then Irvine and then. Where was I now this morning? Azusa. And when that alarm went off about. About 6:55, I went bang. I think I got another 20. And I just hit the vibrate mode on the Reverie bed. And it goes for just 20 minutes. And it's. It's perfect because like 10 minutes and you're going, eh, I ain't gonna do it. Half hour. I'm gonna be late. It just gives you 20 minutes. And I think just vibrates. Just laid on my side. Molly, let a little gas go.

[Gina Grad]

That's how you know it works.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

Name my new girlfriend. She gets to sleep on the bed with us. It's awesome.

[Brian Bishop]

And she's flatulent.

[Adam Carolla]

Revery bed. Yeah. Mm. Ah man. Now they got the Bluetooth surround sound speaker accessory.

[Brian Bishop]

You're never getting nothing upgrades.

[Gina Grad]

Oh.

[Adam Carolla]

Never leave connects any Bluetooth device design. Oh man. You should listen to Burn with the Whole Philharmonic behind you. 888 Triple 85990 or you go to sleeplikeadam.com try it out for 101 night. No risk trial. It's really just the best thing that ever happened to me. My kids, we sit at night, we watch Modern Family on the dvr. Tilt it up, hit the vibrate thing on there. And the whole family just sits there foaming at the mouth, watching Modern Family. Give them a call, learn more. It just changes your life. I'm just telling you it changes your life. It's Reverie Bed. It's a sleep system. Don't call to bed. You get a $250 voucher for Reverie Accessories. Just give them a call, 888-8590. Or you go to sleeplikeadam.com and be good to yourself. Take care of yourself. That's what I'm saying.

[Kelly James]

It's a third of your life.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh my God, it's a third. And for my wife it's like seven eighths. I don't mean that entirely insulting way, but she's on her computer and she's like working. The bed is leaned up and she's typing away and the kids are running around and she's working on her mangria stuff. And you don't have to make a pyramid of pillows behind you and destroy the whole bed. Just, just lean up. By the way, when you flatten it out, you don't have to hold the thing down. You just hit the button that says flat and it goes boom. Right back down. Like a king and a queen. All right, where were we?

[Gina Grad]

Well, a Florida couple allegedly used marijuana and cocaine as a bargaining tool to get their 13 and 14 year old daughters to do their chores and get good grades, according to police. There they are. Joey and Chad Mudd of Largo, Florida. Allegedly provided their kids with pot on several occasions, coke a couple times, and allegedly did drugs with both of them.

[Brian Bishop]

Meanwhile, the house is spotless. What's the problem?

[Gina Grad]

I know. Why are we complaining? The mom, Joey, was released from jail on Wednesday morning after posting five thousand dollar bond. She's not allowed to have contact with the kids. Now Chad remains in jail on six counts of child abuse. He was also charged for coke possession because he gave the kids the coke. Motivate your kids your way. I'll do it my way.

[Adam Carolla]

Florida baby.

[Brian Bishop]

Is he a good looking guy, Gina?

[Gina Grad]

You know, here's the thing.

[Brian Bishop]

Knowing what you know, the factoring.

[Gina Grad]

Of course, if I can be totally honest, he kind of reminds me of my boyfriend.

[Adam Carolla]

So I think he kind of does

[Brian Bishop]

have a little bit.

[Gina Grad]

I don't mind him. I don't mind Chad Mudd.

[Kelly James]

So admittedly it's a bad thing. But who, who told the cops?

[Adam Carolla]

Aha.

[Gina Grad]

Good question, by the way.

[Kelly James]

The coke ran out and one of

[Allison Rosen]

the daughters started fiending.

[Gina Grad]

He's hotter than Steve Buscemi next to him. Little bit of a Steve Buscemi vibe.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah. All right, let's do one more. What do we got?

[Gina Grad]

Oh, this is good. So tlc, the network that brought us Here Comes Honey Boo Boo. John and Kate plus eight is about to air a new game show called Labor Games.

[Brian Bishop]

Tlc, the Learning Channel.

[Gina Grad]

I call it Terrible Life Choices. It basically consists of a host bursting into a delivery room of an unsuspecting couple trying to focus on their delivery and starts offering them prizes. Chances to win stuff if they agree to answer some trivia questions right then and there. So this is what it looks like when she bursts into the room. Hi guys.

[Lori Grenier]

Hi.

[Gina Grad]

Are you Rachel?

[Allison Rosen]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

Fernando.

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

You about to have a baby?

[Allison Rosen]

Yes.

[Gina Grad]

Listen, my name's Lisa and I heard

[Adam Carolla]

about you guys and I thought that

[Gina Grad]

maybe you'd want to be on a game show tonight.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

I'll ask you some questions. You can win some fantastic prizes right now. Right now. What else are you doing?

[Adam Carolla]

You're just hanging out, right? I'm not doing anything.

[Lori Grenier]

No.

[Allison Rosen]

Are you game?

[Adam Carolla]

What do you say, boss?

[Caller/Guest]

Yeah.

[Gina Grad]

Yeah.

[Lori Grenier]

Yeah.

[Allison Rosen]

Awesome.

[Gina Grad]

Then welcome to Labor Games. It's basically like cash cab for delivery rooms.

[Kelly James]

But you know what?

[Brian Bishop]

Labor can go for what, 18 hours?

[Adam Carolla]

How long you want to play?

[Brian Bishop]

It's a lot of density.

[Gina Grad]

How many lightning rounds?

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, that's Lisa Kushel. I used to be at the Acme Theater with her, man, million years ago and God, I had a huge crush on her. And also, also she was.

[Allison Rosen]

She.

[Adam Carolla]

She was in Windy City Heat.

[Lori Grenier]

Oh really?

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, Randy, she was. God, I can't remember her name. Like Areola's galore or something like that. She had a huge fake rack or. She's pretty well endowed in general, but she. I think we puffed them up a little jiggly wriggly I think is what her name was in Windy City Heat. I remember. All I remember one day is I remember. Remember when you, you guys remember this? When you were such a loser that house sitting any house, even a pretty shitty house, was a big deal? I get to house sit.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh sure.

[Adam Carolla]

Like I house sat my friend Chris Darga's house in a shitty part of North Hollywood. Like one bedroom, one no pool, no backyard. Just a really little shitty house off of Lancaster shim next to where the crazy clown liquor store was. I was like woo. I was sitting, I got a TV all to myself. Like it was like a. It was literally like 900 square feet, nothing going on, sleeping in someone else's bed. And I was more than happy to house sit staycation. And to make things even better, I mean you would talk about caviar dreams and champagne wishes or whatever the fuck Robin Leach would say, my other friend Robbie Levine had just like a Honda, just like pretty bone stock, kind of like Honda Civic or Accord, but it had air conditioning in it and like was a regular car.

[Caller/Guest]

And

[Adam Carolla]

only reason I had his car is because I was driving a beater Isuzu Trooper that I needed because I was a carpenter. I had to have something that was big at carry supplies that was a piece of shit Isuzu Trooper. But he wanted to borrow my car to like go camping or something and he needed something with four wheel drive or whatever it was. So I was driving a normal car, Honda Civic, living, living it up in the city, living it up in North Island. It's like I was fucking large and in charge. And I remember just sitting, asking people

[Brian Bishop]

for grape Poupon on the street.

[Adam Carolla]

I remember I was like, I was like, I don't know, I was like 28 or something. I was just like sitting in this guy's living room and I was thinking about Lisa and I had such a crush on her.

[Brian Bishop]

Did you drive by her house and impress her?

[Adam Carolla]

She's really nice. Who's got the Civic with the cloth interior? Hey, baby. One of the windows is powered.

[Brian Bishop]

That's right.

[Adam Carolla]

Anyway, I remember just sort of thinking about it and I thought, like, why not? I'm just gonna call her, like, ask her, you want to go to Dude? Like, let's go out. Like, why not? Absolutely, why not? And we're just kind of going, you've lived your whole fucking life just going, eh, that's not a good idea. It's never gonna work, or whatever. I think I just called her and went like, hey, what are you doing?

[Caller/Guest]

You know?

[Adam Carolla]

And she's like, I'm pretty busy. And I was like, okay then.

[Gina Grad]

Me too.

[Adam Carolla]

And I just went, what are you trying to do? Yeah, later on I remember this very vividly. I rented a porn movie because now there was nothing to do. Civic in the driveway. I wasn't going out on any dates. And he had a vcr, you know, I don't even know if I had a vcr. He had a vcr.

[Brian Bishop]

Big ticket item.

[Adam Carolla]

And there was something wrong with this porn movie and that it would play and it would somehow spool out or something. And I had to take it and manually wind it back. And then I could watch two minutes of it and then it would spool out again. And I had to. I found a wooden spoon where I could use the handle and it fit nicely into the cogs of the. The thing. And so instead of date night, I just Found myself rewinding a porno VHS on a vhs. That was a big night for me. I learned a valuable lesson that night, which is never dream. Never ever dream.

[Brian Bishop]

Like I said, take care, number one.

[Adam Carolla]

Ever dream.

[Gina Grad]

So I gotta ask. I digress a little bit. If Lynette. When Lynette was in labor, would you think she would have appreciated somebody bursting in and asking if she wanted to be on a game show?

[Adam Carolla]

Well, anything better than our fucking nurse that we had? Was I complaining about this just the other day, or was that someone else's show? Maybe it was. We had a piece of shit nurse who, like, we got a suite. We got the suite because it was like, I got money and she's got twins and. And this part of the reason you're a heavy hitter. I make money is a. Got a suite. You get your own room with your bathroom and a little space attached to it, and you wait there and we do a C section. They just wait and then they come get you. You know, so just waiting around and shut the door. It's private and everything. I went to go use the bathroom, and I turn around and come out of the bathroom, and our nurse comes walking in and she said, hey, that bathroom's not from. For you. What? And I said, what? And she said, that's for the patient. And I said, yeah, I just took a leak. I had to go to the bathroom. I don't even know where the bathroom is on the floor, but there's one attached to the suite that I'm paying a sweet price for, so. And she's like, well, next time, you know, in the future. I always hate the in the future where the person. You'll never, you know, Fucking Hungarian border guard. Like, in the future, like, I'll never see you again next time.

[Brian Bishop]

He crosses.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, so, like, in the. Well, next time, like in the future. Like, first off, don't coach me up. Cunt. And secondly, I told her, look, there will be no future. And later on, I was talking on the phone saying this nurse was being a bitch and she overheard me and she kind of got my grill. And it was stressing Lynette out because me and the nurse were getting into it and.

[Gina Grad]

Let's play some labor games.

[Brian Bishop]

How dare that nurse.

[Adam Carolla]

The thing that made me want to go nuts was at the end of the day, of the very stressful day when I was heading home and some rep from the hospital was doing the. How you feeling? How'd it go? Everything good? I said, yeah, everything's great. Except for you do have A nurse that has a really shitty attitude who was kind of stressing me and my wife out and busting my chops in a pretty important time in my life. And the guy went, oh, yeah. Oh yeah, sure, yeah. She does that to everyone. And I thought, that's awesome. Fire her. Fire her. She does it to everyone. Has now made this worse. You think it's gonna make it better?

[Brian Bishop]

That's a repeated pattern of behavior.

[Adam Carolla]

Oh yeah, that's what she does. She comes to people during their most trying time and nerve filled time in her life and she goes and fucking busts their child.

[Gina Grad]

Exhibits a pattern of abuse.

[Adam Carolla]

Right. Could you fire her? Fucking cunt ass.

[Brian Bishop]

Sheila.

[Adam Carolla]

Yes, that's what he said. She does it to everyone. Basically, we have a 55 year old super angry cunt who just hovers around here and fucks with people that pay good money to use our facility.

[Kelly James]

Did she stab you? No, she didn't stab me. Oh, you got off easy.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah.

[Adam Carolla]

But listen, it is all of us. I'm deputizing all of you to say to those people in life, like, when you step out of that bathroom and she's there and says, sir, that bathroom is, is just for the patient. You're not supposed to use that bathroom. Don't ever go, oh, wow, sorry, I didn't know that. Go. Hey, big whoop. Just shut up. Who cares? Leave now. Everyone needs to do that because those people need to be fucking pounded into submission because the only reason they're able to continue doing what they're doing is because we get on our heels and we go, oh, I'm sorry, I wasn't. Wasn't told. No, it's just. Hey, hit it. Just get out of my face pounds and pack. Get back on your broom and go back to Douche county, cunt. I just told her like, who cares? And she's like, well, next time. There is no next time. But anyway, if there is a next time, I'll just do it again. So what do you think, number two next? Yeah, number two, I mean. And I mean, I'm not.

[Brian Bishop]

Hold it till then.

[Adam Carolla]

I'm not such a good.

[Kelly James]

Who cleans this?

[Adam Carolla]

I hope you. God damn it. All right, that's good. Bring it home.

[Gina Grad]

I'm Gina Grad, and that's the news.

[Lori Grenier]

Gina.

[Brian Bishop]

Gina.

[Adam Carolla]

That was the news with Gina Grad. Kelly, you. You just had a child. Did you have to cut the umbilical cord?

[Kelly James]

I did. And I'm not a. I'm not a blood guy.

[Brian Bishop]

It.

[Kelly James]

It kind of freaks me out, but I think in that moment when you get in that room, everything changes. Very animalistic. Those triggers click in the back of your head.

[Gina Grad]

Which end of. Of the lady were you on while this was happening?

[Kelly James]

I was at her head, but there was a mirror I saw.

[Caller/Guest]

Did you.

[Adam Carolla]

Yours wasn't ceremonial. Yours was functional in terms of cutting of the cord.

[Kelly James]

They clamp it on either side, and they just give you a little area. It's really not that same thing like

[Adam Carolla]

the mayor could do on the ground breaking with the fake. It's totally like. It's symbolic. But yours was attached to something.

[Kelly James]

Yes.

[Adam Carolla]

Yeah, mine wasn't attached.

[Brian Bishop]

Oh, the ceremonial dangling.

[Adam Carolla]

It was attached to the kids, but not to my wife or something. I don't.

[Gina Grad]

And you did it anyway.

[Adam Carolla]

Well, no, what happened was, is I was told 28 times how important this would be to me. By the way, all the things that have been told to me in my life that I needed to do that were gonna be super important. Important turned out to not only not be important, I don't even remember what the fuck they are. So when I tell you I'm not interested, please let me keep walking. You know, they go, you want to cut that umbilical cord? And I go, I'm good. Oh, no, no. Interesting. You're gonna wish. You're gonna be kicking it. No, I'm not. You don't fucking know me at all. If you think somewhere around those kids, you know, when they're graduating to eighth grade, I'm gonna go, fucking, if only. Fuck if only.

[Caller/Guest]

If only.

[Brian Bishop]

This moment that much sweeter.

[Adam Carolla]

I will never think about this again.

[Gina Grad]

They don't even feel like my kids.

[Adam Carolla]

I don't even want to be in the fucking room. Forget about the fucking handling sharp objects around the kids. So I just kept saying, no, I don't want to do it. And they're like, it's. It's really important. I'm like, first off, people used to chew through those things. You know what I mean? You just have to hire a wolf to chew through the fucking thing. And at some point, we got people called Dr. And then they handled it. But should I handle the anesthesia? Should I handle the incision? How about anything? Want me to empty that trash can? Anything else here I should handle?

[Brian Bishop]

Thanks, Obamacare.

[Adam Carolla]

Jesus.

[Kelly James]

Somebody took a number two over this bathroom.

[Adam Carolla]

Should I clean that up?

[Gina Grad]

They're not a good aim.

[Adam Carolla]

No, I don't want to be involved with this. I'll be here. You know? No, I don't need to pitch in. And then they pulled them over and they held them over these like sort of pipes. Pyrite casserole.

[Caller/Guest]

What is this?

[Adam Carolla]

Pyrex. Pyrex casserole dishes. And then they handed me the scissors, which were righty scissors. And I'm left handed. And I'm like, huh? And they're like handed. And I'm like, almost dropped the scissor. My daughter's eye. But it's like, what is with all this shit? And do we really believe, like, whether it's this or talking to them while they're, you know, in utero or whatever it is, do we really think this could make a huge difference?

[Brian Bishop]

It makes the people feel better. You know what I mean? The person that tells you that makes the person the next who does the talking.

[Adam Carolla]

Give me one chance to say no and then leave me the fuck alone.

[Brian Bishop]

Yeah, why so dogged?

[Adam Carolla]

I. And by the way, what's in it for you? Yeah, I mean, let's just say I am burdened by this for the rest of my life. In your house. Like I'm pacing around your house, a broken shell of a man. Or am I in another fucking county? So who cares? Jesus goddamn Christ. I gotta put myself in a better mood. Simply safe. Ah, smart home security. No aggressive sales guys. No hardwired systems or long term lock in contracts. So easy. Our own Mike August did it. And that guy that's saying something. That's saying something. You go online, set up a custom system. A few days later, shows up at your doorstep, you just put it up. You got kids now, Kelly. You gotta protect yourself. You put up no wires. No pulling wires, no drilling holes, no nothing. Do it in 20 minutes. Get started, round the clock. Protection. Just 15 bucks a month. No hassles, no contracts. I talked to these guys, they were like, look, you get screwed by these contracts, they charge you way too much. And they invented this system. Batteries, good for five years. Keypad everything, all wireless. Design the system online, show it up, put it up yourself. Simplisafeadam.com. get 10% off. That's simplisafeadam. Adam.com Get 10% off. All right. My wife poolside. Hard Rock. Yeah, Hard Rock Casino coming up today, tomorrow, this weekend. Yeah. Hashtag Mangria and tweet Lynette and go find her and say hi. And say hi to the Hard Rock. I mean the Mangria girls by the Hard Rock. Pool out there and have some fun. Larry Miller, the great Larry Miller on tape, a knee. Just letting it all hang out. Adamcarolla.com you get all the archives and all the greats and all the people been through there. The Newman doc, let's not forget that. Man, that is hitting theaters. I guess just go, go to our website, find out where it is.

[Brian Bishop]

Adamcom will link you to where you

[Adam Carolla]

can get it on itunes.

[Gina Grad]

It got a great review on Baldiwood.

[Adam Carolla]

What else do you need to know? All the stuff, all the live dates, all the stuff. It's all the There. Kelly James, thank you for having me.

[Kelly James]

I appreciate it.

[Adam Carolla]

I would Recommend Going to kellyjames.com and finding out where and when and how. The TV show why Golf? The episodes you can find, by the way, the pilot episodes available on golf digest.com so until next time. Oh, Kelly. Kelly with a huh?

[Gina Grad]

L, L, E, Y.

[Lori Grenier]

Right.

[Adam Carolla]

Ey right. Thank you. So until next time, this is Adam Carolla for Kelly James. Gina grand ball Ryan saying mahalo. I want to get my dick shocked, but I don't really want to read music. Hello and welcome to plutofo. If you know the name of the movie you'd like to see, just stream it for free on Pluto tv, where all your blockbuster favorites are landing. All stars, summer long. Catch, Anchorman, the legend of Ron Burgundy. Fantastic. Men in black one through three. That's what I'm talking about. Mean girls, shut up, Titanic, I'm the G in the world. And so much more. For show times, press nothing. They're free 24.

[Caller/Guest]

7.

[Gina Grad]

That is so effective on Pluto TV.

[Adam Carolla]

Stream now.

[Caller/Guest]

Pay never. All right.

[Adam Carolla]

Those Animals Show 1571 with Kelly James and stuff.

[Caller/Guest]

Studio.

[Adam Carolla]

That does it for today's Coral classics.

[Brian Bishop]

Make sure to tune tomorrow for an all new installment.

[Adam Carolla]

Until then, mahalo and get it on. Hello and welcome to Pluto Foe. If you know the name of the movie you'd like to see, just stream it for free on Pluto tv where all your blockbuster favorites are landing all summer long. Catch Anchorman, the legend of Ron Burgundy. Fantastic. Men in black one through three. That's what I'm talking about. Mean girls, shut up. Titanic. I'm the king of the world. And so much more. For showtimes, press nothing. They're free 24.

[Caller/Guest]

7.

[Adam Carolla]

That is so fast. On Pluto TV stream now pay never. Podcasting isn't just about talking. It's about growing, engaging and monetizing. And that's where podcast one Pro comes in. Whether you're an independent creator or a major brand, Podcast one Pro gives you the tools you need to take your podcast to the next level. We're talking about premium, premium hosting, advanced analytics, dynamic ad integration and expert distribution. All designed to maximize your reach and revenue. Plus, with access to Podcast One's industry leading network, you'll be connected to top tier advertisers and a massive audience. It's time to go pro and turn your passion into pro Profit. Visit PodcastOne Pro.com to get started today. Podcast One Pro. The power behind the podcast. Hello and welcome to Pluto Foe. If you knew the name of the movie you'd like to see, just stream it for free on Pluto tv where all your blockbuster favorites are landing all summer long.

[Caller/Guest]

Catch. Anchorman.

[Adam Carolla]

The Legend of Ron Burgundy. Fantastic. Men in Black, one through three. That's what I'm talking about. Mean girls.

[Lori Grenier]

Shut up.

[Adam Carolla]

Titanic. I'm the king of the world. And so much more. For showtimes, press Nothing. They're free 24.

[Caller/Guest]

7.

[Adam Carolla]

That is so fast. On Pluto TV. Stream now.

[Gina Grad]

Pay Never.

[Adam Carolla]

Evenin'. Buyer's remorse. Buy a new car. I'll be moving in. Let's get started.

[Gina Grad]

Sorry, I think there's been a mistake. I bought it from Carvana.

[Adam Carolla]

You what?

[Lori Grenier]

Yeah, great price.

[Gina Grad]

I even have seven days to love

[Lori Grenier]

it or return it.

[Adam Carolla]

So there's no.

[Caller/Guest]

Oh, no.

[Gina Grad]

Buyer's remorse.

[Lori Grenier]

More like.

[Gina Grad]

Buyers rejoice.

[Adam Carolla]

I guess I'll let myself out. Congratulations. I mean it.

[Gina Grad]

Buyers rejoice. Buy your car today on Carvana. Limitations and exclusions may apply. See our seven day return [e-mail].