← ADHD for Smart Ass Women with Tracy Otsuka
ADHD for Smart Ass Women with Tracy Otsuka
EP. 315: Rebecca Barrera: Making ADHD Her Advantage in Nursing and Life
00:47:27
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- [00:06]
A
Richard Branson, Michael Phelps, Justin Timberlake, James Carville. Wait a minute. Where are the women? Greta Gerwig, Lisa Ling, Audra McDonald, Simone files. That sounds like a list of highly successful titans in a variety of industries. They all have adhd, but you don't hear hear much about that now, do you? You know what else you don't hear about are the 43% of people with ADHD who are in excellent mental health. Why aren't we talking about them and what they're doing right? I'm your host, Tracy Otsuka, and that's exactly what we do here. I'm a lawyer, not a doctor, a lifelong student, and now the author of my new book, ADHD for Smartass Women. I'm also a certified ADHD coach and the creator of youf ADHD Brain is okay. A patented system that helps ADHD women just like you get unstuck and fall in love with their brilliant brains. Here we embrace our too muchness and we focus on our strengths. My guests and I credit our ADHD for some of our greatest gifts. And to those who still think they're too much, too impulsive, too scattered, too disorganized, I say no one ever made a difference by being too little. Hello, I am your host, Tracy Otsuka. Thank you so much for joining me here for another episode of ADHD for Smartass Women. You know, my purpose is to show you who you are and then inspire you to be it. And in the thousands of ADHD women that I've had the privilege of meeting, I've never met a one that wasn't truly brilliant at something. Not one. So, of course, I am just delighted to introduce you to Rebecca Barrera. Rebecca Barrera earned her Bachelor of Science in nursing from the University of South Carolina in 2019 and now works as a pre op nurse at the Medical University of South Carolina in downtown Charleston. In her role, she helps patients prepare for surgery with incredible care, professionalism, and empathy. Rebecca lives in Mount Pleasant, South Carolina with her boyfriend, Jake. Their black lab bow, where she loves spending time with her friends and family. Now, I invited Rebecca to join us after she sent me an email saying this. I am not an influencer and do not have a background in being a book author or coach. So I'm not sure that I meet the proper criteria that your application implied, but I wanted to share my email just in case. And of course I thought, like hell you're not. You're better than all of that. Nurses are literally our true heroes, especially in a time when science and expertise are often undervalued. Honestly, I don't know how they do it. I also know that so many women with ADHD are drawn to nursing. And it makes perfect sense, right? Nursing offers freedom. You're typically not tied to a desk. There's variety in a fast paced environment where no two days are typically alike. Nurses have to think on their feet. They solve problems creatively. And perhaps most importantly, they need to be able to connect with patients on a deeply empathetic level. They advocate, build trust and bring meaning to their work, which is exactly what many ADHD women seek in a career. Now, Rebecca, she embodies all of this, and I can't wait for her to share her ADHD journey with us. Welcome, Rebecca. Did I get all of that right?
- [03:51]
B
Yes. Thank you. I loved all of that and how you put it.
- [03:55]
A
I know you have a particularly colorful diagnosis story, and since we always start there, would you be willing to share it with us? And you can either. I don't know if you prefer to just talk or I can ask you questions as we go along. Whatever's easier for your brain.
- [04:11]
B
Yeah, I can talk and then you can ask questions if you feel like you need to intervene. So I lived in Maine years and years ago. I've been here since. I've been in Charleston since I was five. And when we were in Maine, my mom had four kids under the age of seven. My dad traveled all the time for work. So it was a one man deal. And my teachers in kindergarten were saying that I wasn't learning and there was nothing they basically could do that it was just kind of an epic fail.
- [04:43]
A
Didn't one of them actually say your kindergarten teacher, that you were intellectually disabled? But they used the R word.
- [04:50]
B
Yes. Maybe they didn't say that, but I think that's what my mom put it down. What my mom got from it was the R word. Yeah. So basically like, no hope, like your child's not gonna succeed. And this is what it is. There you have it. But we actually, in that year, my dad got a promotion in Charleston. So we moved down here and started a different school. And one of my teachers, which I'll never forget her, Stacia Thacker, was my kindergarten teacher. And she just was so such an influential reason for my success because she had faith and believe, like told my parents, yeah, I agree there's something going on, but there's potential. She's not or the R word. So through multiple doctors and seeing different people and her help, I would go to her, like every weekend on Saturday, I remember they held me back in kindergarten. But we got the diagnosis from a pediatrician who, you know, suggested medicine, which my parents were very against.
- [05:58]
A
Rebecca, can you tell me what year was that?
- [06:00]
B
That was in 2002.
- [06:04]
A
Okay, so they caught, they did however catch ADHD and a girl.
- [06:09]
B
Yes.
- [06:10]
A
Were you the typical ADHD in terms of like the traditional boy type, or were you more in your head, inattentive?
- [06:17]
B
So my mom always said how she described it was, I was hyperactive emotionally. So I wasn't like the typical running around the playground crazy. I mean, I was too, to, to a certain extent. Like I was talkative and I love to be the center of attention and yada yada. But it wasn't that I was crazy running around. It was that I couldn't focus, which I think from what I've learned is too overstimulated. Not really that you can't focus and just hyperactive emotionally, emotionally, in my thoughts and everything else.
- [06:51]
A
So it sounds like you're actually combined type, but you had enough of the boy characteristics that in 2002 they were like, you know what? This looks like ADHD.
- [07:00]
B
You know, I don't know if it was that they caught onto that because I don't think my teachers saw the hyperactive boy side of it.
- [07:09]
A
Okay.
- [07:09]
B
I think they just saw simply I was not learning. I couldn't read was the big thing. I could not read. I couldn't get up to the levels. And my mom was the one who did all this research and I think she, you know, went brought up to doctors, I think it could be adhd. And let's go into this diagnosis. And so then from there on, and then the teacher, Stacia Thacker, who was like, you're right, I think it's more of a learning disability which comes with ADHD sometimes was thought with my parents, which helped it all kind of come together and get the diagnosis to get the medication.
- [07:48]
A
But you had said your parents were really against medication, right?
- [07:52]
B
Yes.
- [07:54]
A
So somehow something happened between then and you taking medication.
- [07:58]
B
So my grandfather, who was a doctor, an OB GYN up in Boston, always, you know, promoted the less, the less medication, the better. Both my grandmothers were nurses on my mother's side and my father's so very health educated and all of that. And my parents agreed, you know, we don't want to give five year old medicine. And my mom, I remember she was like, let's just try medicine. When the doctor suggested the medication and we were doing the tutoring on Saturdays, you know, she was like, okay, you know what? I'm open. I'm open to it, because I'm not going to not try something when we just don't know.
- [08:32]
A
Good for your mom.
- [08:34]
B
Yes. I mean, she was my biggest advocator. I'll say it for forever, but. And my dad always, you know, gives her the. He's like, if it wasn't for her, you would not be how successful you are. We went on medication, and it was a night and day difference.
- [08:47]
A
They put you on a stimulant?
- [08:49]
B
Yes. So they. They put me on Adderall, which I. For a week. I threw up every day. It did not work. Yeah, it was really bad. I think it was concerta that I ended up going on, or methylphenidate. I can't remember because it's all changed so much, too. I mean, not too much. My mom was like, oh, my gosh. Or both my parents and everyone and my teachers were like, she's actually learned. Like, she's doing well. Like, it was just. I mean, mind blowing.
- [09:16]
A
It was like that switch.
- [09:18]
B
Yes. But then my mom would kind of get, like, feeling guilty because she was like, you weren't my Rebecca anymore. Like, you were just kind of a.
- [09:27]
A
Zombie robot who got work done.
- [09:29]
B
So, you know, there was challenges and. But we. We figured it out and we went through third grade, so I wouldn't take it on the weekends. And it's funny, though, because I remember, like, when I would be playing with my sister and her friends would come over. She was two years older than I was, and they would always be, like, if it was, like, around bedtime, I would take another medication. I think it was Clonidine for the emotional. Yes. That turned you kind of off. And I remember them begging like, my parents, don't. Don't give Rebecca her medication. We want her to. We want her to stay up and play. But then there would be days where I would be crazy annoying them, and they'd be like, mom, give Becca her medication. You know, a battle with like, okay, we just want a medium. But medication is just so extreme.
- [10:14]
A
So with the emotional impulsivity, it sounds like it wasn't necessarily negative emotion. It could be, but it was also like, you were the clown. You were on. You were right.
- [10:26]
B
Yes, yes.
- [10:27]
A
That's why they your your sister.
- [10:29]
B
Then after third grade, I went off medication because, you know, my parents wanted to try and see. And I remember we went out to, like, a celebratory dinner, like, when I went out for my medication, and I don't think it was in an Intent to make me feel, like, bad that, you know, you have to take a medication. But I just think it's sometimes, yeah, I could get on a different topic of medication, but. So then third grade, we did that. Fourth grade, I struggled a little bit. Fifth grade, I did just fine.
- [11:00]
A
Were you on medication at this point? Again, no. No, no. So do you think. Because I swear I have this theory, I've seen it happen so many times, that being on the medication, even for that short period of time, it kind of taught you what you needed to do. And so your brain changed.
- [11:16]
B
It rewired itself 100% well, and it showed me. And again, in kindergarten, you don't really know what's going on. So I didn't know teachers were saying, you know, she's not learning. But I think when my parents were always so happy, like, with, oh, my God, you're doing so well. And that reinforcement was so, like, an accomplishment for me. So I felt, like, good about it. And I. Yeah, you're right. I knew what I needed to do. I knew, okay, I just have to try a little bit harder. Fourth grade, you still don't really get it, but I remember in fifth grade, like, praying to God, like, please help me do well this year. I really want to do well in school. And I did amazing that year. It was crazy. And then I went fifth grade, or. Yeah, sixth grade, did okay. And then I remember seventh grade, I was having a hard time in math, and I went to my mom and I said, I think I may need a little help. So I went back on the medication, but I hated taking it. I hated taking it. It made me not the same person. I remember the days I didn't take it. Like, all my friends in school just, we had the best days. I was so much more fun, but the teachers were. You know, you're talking, you're talking. So then in high school, I was able to kind of rein it in more to where I could. Okay, you're not getting in trouble. But I would, on and off, take it. I was able to, like, sit in a chair and listen. Not me. Not really, because I really wasn't. Because I was thinking a thousand things in my head. But I could cooperate better. So I would really only take medication on, like, test days.
- [12:49]
A
Mm.
- [12:50]
B
Or, I mean, I guess maybe I would. I would take it more so than not. But I remember, like, on Fridays, I would be like, I'm not gonna take it. Or on a day that I felt like, wasn't that important. I'm just going to let it go today and then on the weekends and in summer, I never took it.
- [13:05]
A
So if I saw you as a child, like, what would you, you know, what were you like? Sounds like you were fun.
- [13:12]
B
Yeah, I definitely had high energy. I was very curious. I would. My mom said I would stare at people and just stare them down. And she would be like, oh, my God. Like. But I just was genuinely curious. And there. I asked a lot of questions. I always ask a lot of questions in school. Yeah.
- [13:33]
A
And that's the mark of someone who's intellectually disabled. Hello. Literally, our school system wants kids who don't ask questions, and that means you're smarter than the kids who are constantly asking those second and third level questions.
- [13:46]
B
You should always question. But, I mean, a lot of teachers were not. Like, they always. They told my parents that showed that I really wanted to do good. But yeah, our school systems are just not. They're neurotypically or neurotypical. Scared.
- [13:59]
A
So you were fun, you were curious. It sounds like you talked a lot.
- [14:04]
B
I talked a lot.
- [14:06]
A
It sounds like you were also charming. Well, I mean, if your. Your older sister is saying, please come with us because you're the life of.
- [14:14]
B
The party, maybe she wasn't saying that. I think they just wanted a third person to boss around when they played house. But. No. Yes. My dad always said you and your sister when you were little were best. We just. I mean, we play teacher, we play school. I mean, up until we got made fun of by my older brother. We're brothers. Be like, y' all are too old to be playing school still.
- [14:35]
A
Oh, my gosh. Did your sister become a teacher? She did.
- [14:39]
B
She's a teacher, Second grade teacher.
- [14:42]
A
And she understands. So did she have any of these issues at all?
- [14:46]
B
Not at all. I have to say, my brothers definitely got the smarts. They are, I think, smarter than both of us girls, but they just got blessed, that gift. My sister did just average in school. She was never the problem child, though. My parents went through all their phases with my oldest brother, me and my youngest brother. But Jill just kind of went through. But she was an average student, but never challenges with ADHD or anything.
- [15:15]
A
Hopefully, though, because of your experiences, she's one of those great teachers who gets it.
- [15:21]
B
Yes, for sure.
- [15:22]
A
As far as a response back from your brothers are smarter than you guys, I would ask, what's smart?
- [15:28]
B
They tested well. They did really well. Yep. And my oldest brother, actually 100%. He never got diagnosed officially, but he definitely has ADHD. That's the thing is, you know, I loved hearing on one of your podcasts about most ADHD people have a high iq, but you would never guess because we just learn differently or do life differently.
- [15:48]
A
Well, the thing about iq, though, is. So we're at least average, but usually above average. But the thing about IQ is if you struggle in one area, like visual spatial processing, your score is going to go way down. So what happens is you may have a low IQ score, but be one of the most brilliant people ever.
- [16:09]
B
Oh, that's interesting.
- [16:10]
A
What do you think that parents and teachers need to know about creating an environment where ADHD kids can thrive? And I guess I should say more than ADHD kids, just kids in general, because so many kids haven't been diagnosed. Right. So I guess probably starting out with making sure that all teachers have an understanding of what neurodivergence looks like, whether you're talking about a learning difference or adhd, autism, whatever.
- [16:41]
B
Yeah, I think teachers need to. And again, I've never gone through teaching school or education to be a teacher, but I think, like, they need to know more about ADHD and really what it is and all the other things and learning disabilities, because again, it always goes back to what everyone thinks ADHD is, from a very minuscule view, is hyperactivity and inattention. And there's so much more adhd. It's. It's not that you just can't focus. Yeah. Your brain is wired so differently. And I just. And I think parents, too. I think, because I grew up always thinking, you know, until now, until my adult years, till really after I graduated college, it was just a learning disability. That was what ADHD meant to me, was it was a learning disability. Now it's like, oh, my gosh, this is why you ruminate. This is why you're a perfectionist. This is why you think and feel so deeply, and it causes you emotional turmoil, and you need to take a few steps back and just be more aware and understand yourself better. And this, you know, it just. It's really understanding it and making people more knowledgeable because they're educating, educating people. I mean, I hear teachers all the time say, or people say that teachers are like, they're not behaving. So, yeah, put them on medication. And it's like, no. And there's so much other things you can try. I feel bad for my parents back in the day because it's so much more known now and understood. And back then it wasn't. And there wasn't a lot of resources.
- [18:16]
A
You know the thing about it, though, Becca Is that there are studies that show. So your parents did the. Your mom brilliant, she did the right thing. Because there are studies that show that there is a 50%. Like they're always so worried about, oh, addiction and what's this going to lead to? And it's the gateway, you know, to whatever. I don't want to say gateway drug, but that's what they say. And the truth of the matter is that there is a 50% less chance of addiction if you medicate before the age of 13 because then you're not self medicating afterwards because you understand how your brain works. And it's exactly what you said that you figured out. Oh, well, this is how my brain works. And you figured that out on medication. But then you could get off of that, off of the medication because it had rewired your brain.
- [19:04]
B
Yes. Yeah, you see the potential. And today I still take medication, but yeah, there are people that abuse it all the time. And it is because I think finally they get diagnosed at a later age and they're like, oh my gosh, I can actually be good, I can do things.
- [19:23]
A
And then I would say, is that even abusing it? Right. If you can see that it is making a really big difference in your life, why wouldn't you take it?
- [19:31]
B
Right. Not abuse, I guess I mean, abusing it when they take too much, when they keep. When some people do get to that point. But again, I think that's because they probably took it, started it too late and other things probably too.
- [19:43]
A
But, well, and also understanding that there's so much beyond medication. Right? Medication is a part of it. But all the other things that you were talking about, you know, that sounded more like mindset and mindfulness and you know, breath work and all of that. So yeah, that whole what's smart thing. And what, there's nine to 11 different types of intelligence. And what is the kind of intelligence that actually helps you move, really move forward in life? I would say it's emotional intelligence first, because we've all been around people who are frigging brilliant and nobody wants to be around them, right?
- [20:17]
B
Oh, for sure. I know my dad could say that all day. He's like, I interview somebody who is, you know, went to Harvard and all the things and he's like, no way, no way could you do this job. And he's in sales and so yeah, absolutely.
- [20:35]
A
Okay, so we know what you were like as a kid. You get yourself through high school. What were your grades like at the end of high school? And were you ambitious? Were you thinking colleges for me? Sounds like you come from the kind of family where that's not really an option. You just go to college.
- [20:51]
B
Yeah, it wasn't an option. I was. I was going to go to college, and I don't think that my parents wouldn't have been supportive if I said, you know, something different, but it was just what I grew up in. My mom actually didn't go to college, but anyway, so my two older siblings went to University of South Sea. So I applied to a few different colleges to. Oh, no, this is. Let me backtrack. ACT and sat and, oh, in high school, too. My grades were A's and B's, mostly A's. I mean, but I tried so hard. I mean, I would study and study. And I remember going to school and being like. People would be like, oh, yeah, I didn't do anything for this test. And I always felt weird because I'm like, why am I in high school and I'm having to study and nobody else is? But I just. I wanted to do good. And I think that comes in with, like, my perfectionism, too, of adhd. And took the ACT three times. Did horrible. I remember. So my. My youngest brother is a year below me, so we were in high school together, and he was taking his SAT for the first time, and I was taking it for the fourth time. And I remember he got a 1300 on his first time, and I got below 1000.
- [21:57]
A
Is the highest 14 or 1350?
- [21:59]
B
The highest is 14.
- [22:01]
A
Okay. Had he studied for it? Had he taken one of those trainings? Just cold.
- [22:05]
B
Nothing. Cold. Yeah. And I remember being so defeated by that because I was like, what the hell is wrong with me? Why does he just get a 1300? And I'm taking it for the fourth time I've gone to. My parents, paid so much money to go to these. One of these SCT things, and. And I still score below a thousand. And I was like, oh, my gosh, ACT scored not well. And my mom was like, it's just. Because, again, like, the whole. The reading and that, and I wasn't getting. I wasn't having enough time. My parents went back again to the school to get an IEP plan just so that I could. So they could see if I could get extra time on testing. And then they went and got me a second ADHD diagnosis because mine wasn't since kindergarten. And so I guess to send it to the board. Yes, to test boards, you had to do all the things. So I retested, did a whole week of testing Got back the diagnosis. We sent it into the boards. They allowed me extra time on the act. My score changed drastically, and that's what got me into Carolina. If I didn't have extra time on that test, I would have never scored high enough.
- [23:21]
A
Before we dive back in, a quick reminder. Your brain is not disordered. The problem is, no one ever gave you its manual. But I can and I will. Your ADHD brain is a. Okay. Academy is my step by step patented program to help you figure it all out. Click the link in the first line of this episode's description to learn more or book a discovery call. Now, let's get back to the show. Can I ask you something, Rebecca? A couple times now you've talked about reading. Were you ever tested for dyslexia? Do you think that you might have dyslexia? I mean, there's all different kinds of dyslexia, so it doesn't mean you can't read, you know, because it's more difficult. You're much slower in reading. You choose not to.
- [24:14]
B
Like.
- [24:14]
A
I'm curious, do you read books or do you tend to do audiobooks?
- [24:18]
B
I do audio. I do read some. You know, what it is for me is that I have to reread. I have to go back. I have to. Because I read, and I'm like, wait, what did you just read? And you're saying it's more of just like a. Because I'm overstimulated.
- [24:33]
A
And that's me, too. I was sure my son was diagnosed with dyslexia, and so I thought, oh, that's my issue. That's why I struggled to write and organize my thoughts. And so I got tested, and they're like, no. So I think that's what it is, too. But I'm curious if for you there's some other learning challenge, because you know what they tend to. You're diagnosed with adhd, and that's all they see. So.
- [24:56]
B
So that's. Well, the full extent of testing that this doctor did in high school. It was. What it came out with was ADHD and oppositional.
- [25:10]
A
Really? Oppositional defiant disorder.
- [25:12]
B
Yeah, that was in there. But I don't know if that was taken from the records for my kindergarten diagnosis. I don't know.
- [25:18]
A
That is hilarious, actually. So that's what was going on, too, where you just weren't doing what you were told because you were probably asking why, right?
- [25:27]
B
Because I. I don't want to do it from A, B, C. I want to do it from A to Q.
- [25:32]
A
And maybe that's how your brain works better, and that's how you learn. Oh, that's hilarious. Especially for a girl.
- [25:38]
B
Yeah, I know. I remember seeing that on records and being like. Like, mom, dad, what does this mean? And they, you know, they were kind of weird about it. They never. They were like, oh, nothing. Like, they. And I just think sometimes they didn't want me to get so caught up in, like, thinking that I was.
- [25:50]
A
Yeah, well, she's going to go to prison. She has oppositional defiant disorder.
- [25:55]
B
Right. Because. Yeah, I know now as a nurse, you look it up and it's like. Like, I have friends who are lawyers, and they're like, yeah, I have a kid. And, you know, I'm dealing with the pay, the custody, and their oppositional defy. And I'm like, that was me.
- [26:06]
A
Yeah, absolutely. And it's just the trauma, right, of people not believing what you're saying and thinking that it's a character or a moral flaw rather than, no, my brain just doesn't work that way. Yeah. And you had your parents. It sounds like you came from a really strong family. But if you don't have that, it's easy to see why you would get so frustrated. And it's like, well, f. That.
- [26:31]
B
Oh. Oh, my God. Yes, I know. I can't. I mean, I'm so thankful. And it seems like you did, too. You came from a very strong family, and we had support.
- [26:39]
A
Okay, so tell us what happened. You decide to go to college. You get in. Were you planning on going to nursing school or getting a degree in nursing?
- [26:50]
B
Yes. So I applied for the nursing to get into nursing school. And then at Carolina, they do it where you do your first. Your freshman year, sophomore year of prereqs, and then you find out if you get into what's called upper division, December of your sophomore year, at which you start your junior year. And so it's a very. Like, the program is. There's not a lot of flexibility. So, like, the prereqs I took, if I didn't get into the nursing program, I would have. I probably would have spent longer at Carolina because you couldn't really. They were all prereqs for nursing. So they always said, like, have a backup plan. So I applied to some smaller universities within University of South Carolina. And then because you had to have, like, a 3.7 GPA, it was. It was really tough, but I ended up getting in.
- [27:46]
A
How did you have a 3.7 GPA? I mean, I could have never gotten a degree in nursing ever. It is so you Must have an interest.
- [27:57]
B
Yes. And that's the thing. And my mom always says, too, like, when I'm interested in something, it's a whole different ball game. It's like, I can pay attention. Did I sometimes in class, like, want to talk to my friends and. And I would. And then I would go to the library and be like, okay, I would sit there and I. Like, this sounds so weird, but I enjoyed studying. Like, not that I even know I hated it, but I enjoyed it. And then, like, I remember taking tests, and I. Like. And it was like, a challenge. As much as I felt like I missed out sometimes on, like, during the. Like. I mean, I had. I still had such a great social life in college. I was in a sorority, and I was involved and had a great group of friends. Yeah. I was in the library, like, Monday through Friday or Monday through Thursday and Sunday. And I remember my dad used to always. He always still makes fun of me today. And my sister, whenever I would answer the phone, I'd be like, shh, I'm in the library. In college, when he would call me from home. So they always.
- [28:59]
A
So tell me what was interesting about nursing and what you were studying?
- [29:06]
B
I thought science and medicine was so fascinating. And it's funny because, you know, people. I feel like when they get asked, why. Why did you choose nursing? Why are you a nurse? And everyone's normal or classic answer is to be like, because I love to help people. And it's not that I don't. And I love to. I mean, that's part of the reason why I'm in this career. But, like, I just. Even since high school, we got to choose, like, a certain. That we did a special extracurricular class, whatever you call it. So I did health sciences in high school, and that's when I knew, okay, like, I'll do something in medicine. But, yeah, I just. I just found it so fascinating. I wanted to learn about it. I wanted to understand it. And so, yeah, that's where I got to.
- [29:49]
A
That there was something about. There's a balance there. And there was something about nursing and what you were studying and learning that was really interesting to you because it is not easy to get a 3.7 in those kinds of classes again. I could never do it because I have no interest.
- [30:08]
B
It was so hard, and it's kind of criminal.
- [30:11]
A
Like, we need nurses so desperately, but they make it so difficult to get through the program. And then ultimately, I always question, okay, the nurses that can do it, of course, not you, but the nurses that can do it simply because they're just so good at school versus those people who are so good with people. Right. And you need. You need the knowledge, but you also need the other part. And sometimes I think the other part may take precedence.
- [30:37]
B
Oh, 100%. I mean, and I didn't learn due today. And that I learned was from experience, was from being in the field of nursing. I mean, are you kidding me? The questions from the nursing boards, I don't remember. I couldn't tell you how to answer them if I tried. Just because you can't get the grades or perform well with tests and all of that doesn't mean you can't be this great nurse. And that brings me back to when the whole act thing, I don't know if I mentioned that they thought I was cheating when my score went up.
- [31:06]
A
Oh my gosh, really?
- [31:08]
B
So the boards, it was this whole thing. So after my score went up drastically. Yeah. So I didn't get into Carolina until late, like April. Like all my friends had already gotten in. They were still. The school was just, you know, saying, we're, we're still processing. We're trying to figure this out. So, yeah, it's a school that thought I cheated. My dad called like every week and was like, what is going on? You know, we need, like, she did not cheat. We've sent you records. She just had extra time. We had to go through all this whole thing. I kind of like, I'm so happy that we proved Carolina wrong. I was like, I got, I got in to nursing. You guys could have taken my lower score. And what did I do? I worked hard and I'm a nurse and you guys haven't. Yeah. So an alumni.
- [31:52]
A
So don't do that to anyone else.
- [31:54]
B
You almost didn't let in your program because my SAT score.
- [31:57]
A
Oh my gosh, that's insane. And so finally, when you're. When you're able to get what you need to show your knowledge, then, oh my gosh, you must be cheating.
- [32:07]
B
Right? Wow.
- [32:08]
A
And that, funny, that kind of makes me sick. Okay, so you get through nursing school then, right? Is that what you call it, nursing school? Because you have to go to college and then you have something else after that. Right.
- [32:21]
B
So now you can do a four year bachelor's degree just within. So it was my four year undergrad and that's where they kind of had the upper division. And then the upper two years, junior and senior year were clinicals. But a lot of people will do four years of college undergrad and then do a two Year fast track. So you can do it different ways.
- [32:39]
A
Which doesn't sound like a fast track.
- [32:41]
B
Right. No, exactly. So I'm glad I just did it and got it out of the way.
- [32:45]
A
So you actually do really well in school, and then you become a nurse. Is it better than school? Because it sounds like you liked school or. Tell us about it. How long have you been a nurse? Two years now.
- [32:58]
B
Five and a half. No, I do love what I do. And it's funny how you brought up earlier that we don't. It's not a desk job. We don't like to sit. It is freedom. My nursing job is probably one of the best ones you can get because it's no weekends, no nights, no holidays. Monday through Friday.
- [33:17]
A
You must be good to already be there.
- [33:20]
B
I wouldn't say that, but I just. I think I got very lucky.
- [33:24]
A
You make your own luck. I don't believe in luck, Becca.
- [33:28]
B
I work with the best people. And what do you love?
- [33:32]
A
Why is this the perfect job for your brain?
- [33:35]
B
I mean, you.
- [33:36]
A
You said a few things, but.
- [33:37]
B
And I think I could do different things, too. Like, I think sometimes, some days I do come home and I'm like, maybe I should switch careers. Maybe I should do an organizing business. You know, I think everyone has those days, but. Because some days are hard, you know, some days suck. But it's like the moments that I genuinely, like, have good conversations with patients, because there are some days where I'm like, okay, do all. I did all my things. I asked all my questions. I put your IV in pre meds. All right, you're ready to go. I don't want to talk to you until you go back to surgery. There are people that you genuinely have a connection with, and you walk their family member down to the waiting room when the patient goes back to surgery, and they're like, oh, my God, you made this experience so much easier. And they were terrified. This is their first surgery. And the things that people say to you. I mean, I've cried secretly multiple times after holding it in, talking to family members and being like, all right, take care. And then walking back down the hall to my unit and being like, oh, my God, I'm going to cry every day.
- [34:40]
A
It sounds like you do feel like you are making a difference, like your. Your existence matters.
- [34:48]
B
Yes, for sure. Even though it's not like these nurses who I give so much credit to, who are working endlessly on floors with really, really sick patients, I do have to say I have mostly elective surgeries. I see a lot Less bad.
- [35:05]
A
It usually turns out well, because I couldn't get.
- [35:08]
B
Because I couldn't do. I couldn't do the bad. I mean, I have like, I had a patient come in that was an 18 year old that tried to kill himself by lighting his car, doing oil over his car, lighting himself up on fire. And he comes in and he was, came in for plastic surgery to do something with. Like those days, I'm like, I go home and I'm like, oh my God. Like I can't get out of my head. I ruminate and ruminate because I just, I'm like, oh my God. His life now, like, I mean, that sounds so bad. But his whole life is ruined now forever. He's so. He's 80% burnt, 90% burned. Anyways. That was really dark.
- [35:44]
A
No, no, no. I mean it's what you see. Thankfully you don't have to see this all the time, right?
- [35:51]
B
Not often.
- [35:52]
A
You have a really demanding, high pressure job. So how do you manage your ADHD symptoms when you're there? Or is the job such a good fit that you almost don't have to. That you can use those. And I think of symptoms, it's negative.
- [36:08]
B
Right.
- [36:08]
A
But you can use those traits to really shine in what you do.
- [36:12]
B
So I definitely have to manage them and be. Because you know, I have to be serious and charred and, and I get like so distracted easily and again, overstimulated because like our nurses station, it's a very tiny unit and sometimes I just have to like leave and go take a walk around the, like the hall outside because I'm like, this is, I can't even talk right now because you guys are over here talking. This is happening. And so I definitely have to cope and manage. And I take medicine usually when I work, which definitely helps because when I'm not on it, my co workers are like, oh my God. But they're like, we love you when you're not on it. But oh my gosh, you're like, you talk a thousand miles a minute and yeah, so I'm, I'm better, I'm a better worker when I'm on it because I'm just, I'm focused and I want to get the job done.
- [37:04]
A
So what you said when you were younger the medication changed your personality. Do you feel like the medication still does that? And why did it bother you before but it doesn't bother you now if it does change?
- [37:18]
B
So I do think that my body is way more. Tolerates it better, I guess as an adult and I've Come so acclimated to it that, yes, it makes me a little. It makes me different, but not in a bad way. It's not like even in college when I would take it on a Saturday because I knew I wanted to study before going out that night, my friends would be like, who lived with me would be like, no, Becca, don't take it yet. Don't take it. Like, just take. Just study tomorrow.
- [37:46]
A
We want crazy Becca.
- [37:47]
B
Yeah, literally crazy Becca. But crazy fun.
- [37:53]
A
Not crazy crazy.
- [37:55]
B
But now I. The dose that I'm on and what we've figured out, it works great. So it. I eat on it still. I'm. I'm happy on it. I'm just chill, focused and able to not let control my emotions, my impulsivity, all of it. So it works better for everyone in the long run.
- [38:18]
A
Yeah. And I mean, if. If you're happy and it's working for you and you've been able to. It sounds like you've just really been able to adjust it too and figure out what serves you and what doesn't. So was the medication before making you anxious? Is that what was going on?
- [38:36]
B
I don't know. It just was. Not when I was younger. And I don't know if it again was the dosage or what, but maybe it was because, like I was in school and I was like, okay, like, because at work you're not like sitting there, like listening to a lecture or like writing in a book. You're. You're still moving and grooving. And so it's just different because I think that like, with the medication now, I could still sit there and I would be, I would be quiet listening to something. Whereas, like, I know it's kind of like allowed and it's free at work to not. You don't have to. So I figured out a way and I think again, tolerance to like, to be able to do both.
- [39:14]
A
Maybe it was that oppositional part. Yeah, right. And so, so much of it is what we want. And so if you didn't want that because you felt kind of like you were being put in a cage because that's what the adults wanted, I could see that. Of course it's not going to work because you don't want it to work versus now you're choosing it.
- [39:33]
B
Yes.
- [39:35]
A
So, Becca, for young women just starting out with an ADHD diagnoses, what is one piece of advice that you'd give them about navigating life and finding their strengths?
- [39:46]
B
So I would say, like I said earlier to me, like, growing up, I put ADHD in one category, and it was because I struggled to learn. And I now, I put it as so much more. And never forget my brother, my oldest brother, making a. Always saying that mom made such a big deal about my ADHD diagnosis, and he was like, she's fine, you know, like, you don't have to make it this big thing. But my mom made it that way because she knew that there wasn't resources or the things that I needed in a neurotypical setting. And so she wanted just to make sure that I knew that I was capable of all the things. But what my brother taught me, from the way he saw it, which is, I think my advice to every ADHDer is that you cannot let your shortcomings and your failures from your weaknesses, from bad ADHD traits, because we know there's great ones define you or make you feel like you're not capable, that you cannot victimize yourself, you cannot feel bad for yourself or make excuses. You have to let it show you or teach you every day coping skills. There's ways to manage it. Just being self aware, recognizing, okay, like, maybe that's why I did this, because it was my adhd, but how do I do better the next day and embrace the traits like my deep thinking, because that can turn deep. My overthinking can make me be so, like, throw me into emotional turmoil. But then it also brings so much joy in my life because people always say, like, you're compassionate and you're the most thoughtful person, so you just have to use your traits to the best of what they should be used for and then try to. You know, when you have those days where you're like, all right, when you feel too deeply in the wrong way, just rein it in and be aware, Recognize. I called my dad earlier today about the podcast and I said, dad, what do you think some of my ADHD traits are that have made me successful? And he said, determination. Humility. Humility. I laughed to myself because I'm like, you know, us ADHDers, I love the center of attention. I love to be like. Sometimes I'm like, am I really humble all the time? And I think he meant it in a way of just being able to be aware and again, recognize your faults and your flaws and grow from them and learn.
- [42:18]
A
I think what you also said, too, which is the thing that I kind of, you know, are constantly pushing forward, is, yeah, we have weaknesses, but in every one of those weaknesses, there is an opposing strength. Kind of like you were saying, yeah, I overthink but that's exactly what's responsible for my deep empathy. Okay, so Becca, what is your number one ADHD workaround?
- [42:42]
B
I would say I love my daily walks at work. During lunch, I walk by myself and listen to music.
- [42:52]
A
Why?
- [42:53]
B
It just gets me out of that crazy overstimulated environment for 30 minutes and good sleep. It's a game changer. My days are so much better when I get good sleep.
- [43:05]
A
And so is the key to get in bed earlier rather than get up earlier or what do you think?
- [43:12]
B
So I get up at 4:45 because I work at 5:30. I know it sucks.
- [43:18]
A
Is that hard for you?
- [43:20]
B
Yes. And it's been five years and I will never. It will never get easy for me, but I do it. It's hard because my boyfriend, he. He gets up, his work ends at 5, my work ends at. Well, I used to work 5 8. And so I would do 5:30 to 2. And I realized finally I just got it switched because I was like, it's just not. It's not working for me because I get off way too early and then I'm ready to go to bed. I'm ready to eat dinner at 4, ready to get, you know. And so with my boyfriend's schedule, I now work 4 tens.
- [43:52]
A
Wait, wait, what does 4 ten mean?
- [43:54]
B
Sorry, 4 tens is. I work 4 days a week, 10 hours.
- [43:58]
A
And so when do you start?
- [44:00]
B
5:30 to 4.
- [44:02]
A
I mean, if you start that early, 4, I mean, that's a perfect time, right?
- [44:06]
B
Yeah, it's great. But I still need to go to bed early because I get up so early.
- [44:11]
A
What time do you have to get to get in bed by?
- [44:13]
B
I try to get in bed by 8:30. 8, 8:30. And be asleep by 9, 9:30. But when you have a boyfriend who gets off at whatever time and wants to eat at 7:30, it's like, it's hard. So it's. But we've, we've worked through it, so we're getting better. And I'm like. Because I want. That's my time to spend with him too, is at the end of the day and I want to stay up and watch a movie with him, but I'm like, I have to go to bed.
- [44:41]
A
Yeah. No, and to put that. That's especially difficult because we already usually don't want to go to bed.
- [44:47]
B
Right.
- [44:48]
A
We just want the day to keep going and then you've got a partner who wants to stay up. And so, yeah, that's.
- [44:56]
B
It's so funny as I do never want to go to bed. I'm like, but I do want to go to bed because I know it's going to make me so much better. But I'm like, okay, can we just skip bed and it be the next day? I just want to keep going like I'm ready for the next day.
- [45:09]
A
I know. Okay. So Rebecca, if people want to find out more about you or they want to reach out to you, can they?
- [45:18]
B
Yes. And what is the best way they can either? I'm on Instagram. It is bexb1229 the LinkedIn.
- [45:27]
A
It's B Barrera. So B B A R r E R A 1229. We will have both of those links in the show notes. Okay, Rebecca, thank you so much for reaching out and then spending time with us here today. It was a delight to get to know you.
- [45:49]
B
You too. Thank you so much.
- [45:51]
A
Absolutely. So that's what I have for you for this week. If you like this episode with Rebecca, please let us know by leaving a review. Our goal is to change the conversation around adhd, helping as many women as we possibly can learn how their ADHD brains work so that they too may discover their amazing strengths. Thank you so much for listening and I'll see you here next week. You've been listening to the ADHD for Smartass Women podcast. I'm your host, Tracy Otsuka. Join us at adhd for smartwomen.com where you can find more information on my new book, ADHD for Smartass Women. And my patented you'd ADHD Brain is a okay system to help you get unstuck and fall in love with your brilliant brain. ADHD is not the problem. The way we've been told to manage it is. If you're tired of feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or like you're not living up to your potential, I want to help my you. ADHD Brain is a okay is a step by step patented program that actually works for ADHD brains like ours. No more forcing yourself into ordinary brain systems that just don't fit. If you're ready to thrive, find the link in the first line of this episode's description. Your brain is brilliant. Let me prove it to you.