Podcast Episode Summary

Podcast: ADHD for Smart Ass Women with Tracy Otsuka
Episode: EP. 319: Ditch the Clutter, Grandma!
Date: February 11, 2025
Host: Tracy Otsuka
Guest: Jamie Shapiro, Founder, Silver Linings Transitions

Episode Overview

This episode explores the intersection of ADHD, aging, and organization, focusing on the challenges—and opportunities—ADHD women face when managing clutter and life transitions as they (and their parents) age. Tracy Otsuka speaks with Jamie Shapiro, a late-diagnosed ADHD woman, business owner, and podcast creator whose work supports seniors and their families with downsizing and organizing, illuminating the often unspoken issues of undiagnosed ADHD in older generations. The episode is both practical and deeply personal, offering empathetic insights, strategies for “right-sizing” your home and life, and thoughts on embracing one’s ADHD at every life stage.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. ADHD Hidden in Plain Sight—Especially for Women and Seniors

ADHD is dramatically underdiagnosed among women and virtually invisible in seniors, despite high rates and clear impacts.
Jamie came to her ADHD diagnosis through her children’s diagnoses, echoing a common pattern for late-diagnosed women ([04:06]).

Quote:
"Will started reading, you know, at a very young age. And...I looked at the psychiatrist and I said, ‘I’m answering more yeses for me than for them. Do I have ADHD?’ And he looks at me, goes, ‘yeah, you think?’...My mind was blown." – Jamie Shapiro [04:06]

Diagnosis in the family line:
Jamie’s parents and two of her three children have ADHD, but their symptoms all present very differently ([05:41], [06:46]).
ADHD may be masked by co-occurring conditions, like her middle child’s OCD ([05:46]).

2. Redefining ADHD: From Hyperactive Boys to Brilliant, Resilient Women

Jamie’s childhood didn’t match the classic “hyperactive boy” stereotype, making diagnosis easy to miss for her (and her mom).
Stigma and lack of awareness around women and older adults with ADHD means many struggle without understanding why.

Quote:
"My mother took me to a doctor...and the doctor said, ‘She’s not hyperkinetic. She just has a nervous mother.’" – Jamie Shapiro [10:29]

Jamie and Tracy discuss the lasting impact on self-esteem and sense of capability when ADHD isn’t recognized ([16:46]).

Quote:
"I think, like I said, an understanding of who I am ... when they are discovering ADHD is, you know, you had to cobble it together without having any idea that this was happening. And here you are. So...you should be patting yourself on the back." – Jamie Shapiro [16:49]

3. Late Diagnosis and Life Transitions Spark Purposeful Change

Jamie’s cancer diagnosis at 34 and subsequent reevaluation of her life led her to start Silver Linings Transitions, a company that helps seniors and families organize and downsize for aging or major life events ([09:58], [19:00]).
The work has a strong purpose: supporting women, providing flexible opportunities for mothers, and creating supportive spaces for difficult transitions ([19:00]–[22:30]).

4. Clutter, Organization, and ADHD: The Personal and Professional Nexus

Jamie became an ADHD Level 2 Specialist with the Institute for Challenging Disorganization ([22:38]–[25:34]).
Her insight: Traditional organizing often fails for ADHD brains. Systems must be custom, simple, and maintainable.

Quote:
"It’s really important that somebody understands ADHD when they are organizing with you, because it’s not just enough to do it for you. We need a system that’s going to work for us." – Jamie Shapiro [23:11]

Many seniors (and mothers) with lifelong clutter are undiagnosed ADHD—her own mother included ([24:10], [25:34]).

5. Multiple ADHD Brains, Multiple Approaches to Clutter

Jamie admits she is not a "naturally organized" person but surrounds herself with team members and external supports to bridge her weaknesses ([28:15]).
Both Jamie and Tracy share the way visual clutter impacts their ability to function. For some ADHD-ers, clutter creates mental distress and decision fatigue.

Quote:
"I'm not organized. But I know that it makes a difference in my life. So I'm smart enough to get help for the things that I am not good at." – Jamie Shapiro [28:15]

6. The Emotional and Practical Realities of Downsizing ("Right-Sizing")

Jamie introduces the concept of “right-sizing”—choosing what is right for your life now, not just downsizing out of necessity ([36:19]).
Most possessions (>80%) are not actually used; photos and memories can be digitized or shared in “show and tell” sessions with kids ([34:04], [36:19]).
Decision fatigue and emotional attachment are huge hurdles; Jamie recommends small, regular sessions and outside help to break the inertia ([27:06], [41:08]).

7. The Future of ADHD: Aging, Medication, and Community Support

ADHD doesn’t disappear with age; in fact, the challenges can increase as executive function wanes and medication options decrease due to health ([32:00]).
There is a lack of resources and conversation specifically for aging ADHD adults—Jamie is “on a mission” to change that ([32:00], [33:48]).
Referenced resource: Dr. Kathleen Nadeau’s book on ADHD and aging.

8. Bringing in the Professionals—Benefits and Costs

Professional senior move managers (like Jamie’s company and others in NASMM) create a less stressful, more supportive transition—packing, organizing, setup—all managed for/with you ([37:39], [43:21]).
Services range from $50–$200/hour depending on the region, with typical moves costing around $5,000 for seniors downsizing to one- or two-bedroom homes; more cluttered or higher-end moves can be much more ([41:50], [45:22]).
Benefits: Immediate organization, less emotional and physical strain, and a “big reveal” where your new home is ready for living ([45:53]).

Quote:
"It is relief. They are like, wow. ... When you walk into your place and we call it the big reveal and you get to look at this new place with fresh eyes...not only will you find your coffee pot the day you move in, but we will create a coffee station..." – Jamie Shapiro [45:53], [47:42]

9. Lessons from Seniors Applied to Life Now

Jamie: Stop accumulating things—think about who you want to be, not who you were ([52:01], [54:10]).
Attitude and proactivity about aging make a huge difference in late-life satisfaction.
Use downsizing/right-sizing as opportunity for joy, hope, and connection.

Quote:
"...It’s really important to embrace who we want to be...it always helped me...when I think of donating items...that helps me to let go of something." – Jamie Shapiro [54:13]

Practical Tips & Strategies

Organization & Decluttering

Pareto Principle (80/20 Rule): You use 20% of your things 80% of the time—let go of the rest ([34:04]).
Photograph Memories: Preserve memory, not the stuff ([36:19]).
Show & Tell: Share items with family during a captive moment, tell their stories, photograph them, and let go ([36:19]).
"Dining Room Table Test": Place everything on a table, pick what you want to keep (easier than deciding what to let go); have someone else handle what’s left over ([55:21]).
Hire External Help: Professionals can offer support, structure, and non-judgmental guidance ([37:39], [45:22]).
Divide & Conquer: Bite-sized pieces, commit to 10 minutes a day ([27:06]).
Plan for Future Self: Prep documents, reminders, and resources for “Future You” (calendar events, notes, pre-packed bags) ([55:34]).

Quote:
"Perfect is the enemy of done. I’m going to commit 10 minutes a day to making this happen." – Jamie Shapiro [27:06]

Mindset Shifts

“Right-sizing” vs. Downsizing: Reframe the process as curating a life you want now ([36:19]).
Release Guilt: Most children don’t want family heirlooms—don’t burden them ([34:04], [35:40]).
Let Go of “Supposed To’s”: Your brain isn’t broken; your wiring just needs different supports ([16:46], [17:43]).
Find Joy and Hope: Use decluttering as an act of self-love, and generosity ([54:13]).

Quote:
"Sometimes we hold onto something because of who we were, and I think it’s really important to embrace who we want to be, what is the life we want for ourselves." – Jamie Shapiro [54:13]

Notable Moments & Quotes

On Realization and Relief:
"I felt like it was getting a playbook to my life. All of a sudden, all these things made sense for me." – Jamie Shapiro [15:47]
On Authenticity's Impact:
"When I am myself and I put it out there for you, then you get to be yourself. And I live very, very authentically and vulnerably, partly because...I couldn’t remember the lie if I told it." – Jamie Shapiro [17:55]
On Senior ADHD Advocacy:
"What’s going to happen when you’re older? Is your ADHD going to go away? ... I am really trying to shake up the ADHD community, saying we need to like really start thinking about what future looks like." – Jamie Shapiro [32:00]
On Letting Go:
"If you really cared about it, you would probably remember that you had it....I guess I take the Buddhist philosophy in this. I’m really not attached to stuff, and that has really helped me." – Jamie Shapiro [40:16], [41:08]

Timestamps for Important Segments

[04:06] Jamie’s ADHD diagnosis story (via her child, and family history)
[10:29] Childhood experience and missed diagnosis in girls
[16:49] Impact of diagnosis: reduction in shame and authenticity
[19:00] Why Jamie started her transition services company
[22:38] Role of Institute for Challenging Disorganization, organizing for ADHD
[25:34] Realization about undiagnosed ADHD in seniors, including Jamie’s mother
[27:06] Systems for ADHD organization, customizing solutions
[32:00] The future and invisibility of senior ADHD, call for more resources
[34:04] Applying 80/20 rule and strategies for letting go
[41:50] Estimated costs for professional transition services
[45:53] ‘Big reveal,’ organizing, decorating; sense of relief
[52:01] Lessons from clients: mindset, aging, and accumulating less
[54:13] Joy in right-sizing, moving toward future self

Resources Mentioned

Silver Linings Transitions – Jamie’s company (San Diego-based)
Institute for Challenging Disorganization
Book: “Understanding Women with ADHD” by Dr. Kathleen Nadeau (on ADHD & Aging)
National Association of Senior & Specialty Move Managers (NASMM.org) – Find senior move managers in your region
Grandma Has ADHD – Jamie’s podcast/project

Closing Thoughts

This episode reframes clutter, aging, and ADHD from a place of shame and overwhelm to one of agency, curiosity, and possibility. Transition, Jamie and Tracy agree, is both challenging and freeing—but radically more manageable (and even joyful) when you plan ahead, ask for help, forgive your brain, and curate your environment for your present and future self.

Podcast Episode Summary

Episode Overview

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. ADHD Hidden in Plain Sight—Especially for Women and Seniors

ADHD is dramatically underdiagnosed among women and virtually invisible in seniors, despite high rates and clear impacts.
Jamie came to her ADHD diagnosis through her children’s diagnoses, echoing a common pattern for late-diagnosed women ([04:06]).

2. Redefining ADHD: From Hyperactive Boys to Brilliant, Resilient Women

Jamie’s childhood didn’t match the classic “hyperactive boy” stereotype, making diagnosis easy to miss for her (and her mom).
Stigma and lack of awareness around women and older adults with ADHD means many struggle without understanding why.

Quote:
"My mother took me to a doctor...and the doctor said, ‘She’s not hyperkinetic. She just has a nervous mother.’" – Jamie Shapiro [10:29]

Jamie and Tracy discuss the lasting impact on self-esteem and sense of capability when ADHD isn’t recognized ([16:46]).

3. Late Diagnosis and Life Transitions Spark Purposeful Change

Jamie’s cancer diagnosis at 34 and subsequent reevaluation of her life led her to start Silver Linings Transitions, a company that helps seniors and families organize and downsize for aging or major life events ([09:58], [19:00]).
The work has a strong purpose: supporting women, providing flexible opportunities for mothers, and creating supportive spaces for difficult transitions ([19:00]–[22:30]).

4. Clutter, Organization, and ADHD: The Personal and Professional Nexus

Jamie became an ADHD Level 2 Specialist with the Institute for Challenging Disorganization ([22:38]–[25:34]).
Her insight: Traditional organizing often fails for ADHD brains. Systems must be custom, simple, and maintainable.

Many seniors (and mothers) with lifelong clutter are undiagnosed ADHD—her own mother included ([24:10], [25:34]).

5. Multiple ADHD Brains, Multiple Approaches to Clutter

Jamie admits she is not a "naturally organized" person but surrounds herself with team members and external supports to bridge her weaknesses ([28:15]).
Both Jamie and Tracy share the way visual clutter impacts their ability to function. For some ADHD-ers, clutter creates mental distress and decision fatigue.

Quote:
"I'm not organized. But I know that it makes a difference in my life. So I'm smart enough to get help for the things that I am not good at." – Jamie Shapiro [28:15]

6. The Emotional and Practical Realities of Downsizing ("Right-Sizing")

Jamie introduces the concept of “right-sizing”—choosing what is right for your life now, not just downsizing out of necessity ([36:19]).
Most possessions (>80%) are not actually used; photos and memories can be digitized or shared in “show and tell” sessions with kids ([34:04], [36:19]).
Decision fatigue and emotional attachment are huge hurdles; Jamie recommends small, regular sessions and outside help to break the inertia ([27:06], [41:08]).

7. The Future of ADHD: Aging, Medication, and Community Support

ADHD doesn’t disappear with age; in fact, the challenges can increase as executive function wanes and medication options decrease due to health ([32:00]).
There is a lack of resources and conversation specifically for aging ADHD adults—Jamie is “on a mission” to change that ([32:00], [33:48]).
Referenced resource: Dr. Kathleen Nadeau’s book on ADHD and aging.

8. Bringing in the Professionals—Benefits and Costs

Professional senior move managers (like Jamie’s company and others in NASMM) create a less stressful, more supportive transition—packing, organizing, setup—all managed for/with you ([37:39], [43:21]).
Services range from $50–$200/hour depending on the region, with typical moves costing around $5,000 for seniors downsizing to one- or two-bedroom homes; more cluttered or higher-end moves can be much more ([41:50], [45:22]).
Benefits: Immediate organization, less emotional and physical strain, and a “big reveal” where your new home is ready for living ([45:53]).

9. Lessons from Seniors Applied to Life Now

Jamie: Stop accumulating things—think about who you want to be, not who you were ([52:01], [54:10]).
Attitude and proactivity about aging make a huge difference in late-life satisfaction.
Use downsizing/right-sizing as opportunity for joy, hope, and connection.

Quote:
"...It’s really important to embrace who we want to be...it always helped me...when I think of donating items...that helps me to let go of something." – Jamie Shapiro [54:13]

Practical Tips & Strategies

Organization & Decluttering

Pareto Principle (80/20 Rule): You use 20% of your things 80% of the time—let go of the rest ([34:04]).
Photograph Memories: Preserve memory, not the stuff ([36:19]).
Show & Tell: Share items with family during a captive moment, tell their stories, photograph them, and let go ([36:19]).
"Dining Room Table Test": Place everything on a table, pick what you want to keep (easier than deciding what to let go); have someone else handle what’s left over ([55:21]).
Hire External Help: Professionals can offer support, structure, and non-judgmental guidance ([37:39], [45:22]).
Divide & Conquer: Bite-sized pieces, commit to 10 minutes a day ([27:06]).
Plan for Future Self: Prep documents, reminders, and resources for “Future You” (calendar events, notes, pre-packed bags) ([55:34]).

Quote:
"Perfect is the enemy of done. I’m going to commit 10 minutes a day to making this happen." – Jamie Shapiro [27:06]

Mindset Shifts

“Right-sizing” vs. Downsizing: Reframe the process as curating a life you want now ([36:19]).
Release Guilt: Most children don’t want family heirlooms—don’t burden them ([34:04], [35:40]).
Let Go of “Supposed To’s”: Your brain isn’t broken; your wiring just needs different supports ([16:46], [17:43]).
Find Joy and Hope: Use decluttering as an act of self-love, and generosity ([54:13]).

Notable Moments & Quotes

On Realization and Relief:
"I felt like it was getting a playbook to my life. All of a sudden, all these things made sense for me." – Jamie Shapiro [15:47]
On Authenticity's Impact:
"When I am myself and I put it out there for you, then you get to be yourself. And I live very, very authentically and vulnerably, partly because...I couldn’t remember the lie if I told it." – Jamie Shapiro [17:55]
On Senior ADHD Advocacy:
"What’s going to happen when you’re older? Is your ADHD going to go away? ... I am really trying to shake up the ADHD community, saying we need to like really start thinking about what future looks like." – Jamie Shapiro [32:00]
On Letting Go:
"If you really cared about it, you would probably remember that you had it....I guess I take the Buddhist philosophy in this. I’m really not attached to stuff, and that has really helped me." – Jamie Shapiro [40:16], [41:08]

Timestamps for Important Segments

[04:06] Jamie’s ADHD diagnosis story (via her child, and family history)
[10:29] Childhood experience and missed diagnosis in girls
[16:49] Impact of diagnosis: reduction in shame and authenticity
[19:00] Why Jamie started her transition services company
[22:38] Role of Institute for Challenging Disorganization, organizing for ADHD
[25:34] Realization about undiagnosed ADHD in seniors, including Jamie’s mother
[27:06] Systems for ADHD organization, customizing solutions
[32:00] The future and invisibility of senior ADHD, call for more resources
[34:04] Applying 80/20 rule and strategies for letting go
[41:50] Estimated costs for professional transition services
[45:53] ‘Big reveal,’ organizing, decorating; sense of relief
[52:01] Lessons from clients: mindset, aging, and accumulating less
[54:13] Joy in right-sizing, moving toward future self

Resources Mentioned

Silver Linings Transitions – Jamie’s company (San Diego-based)
Institute for Challenging Disorganization
Book: “Understanding Women with ADHD” by Dr. Kathleen Nadeau (on ADHD & Aging)
National Association of Senior & Specialty Move Managers (NASMM.org) – Find senior move managers in your region
Grandma Has ADHD – Jamie’s podcast/project

EP. 319: Ditch the Clutter, Grandma!

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Summary

Podcast Episode Summary

Episode Overview

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. ADHD Hidden in Plain Sight—Especially for Women and Seniors

2. Redefining ADHD: From Hyperactive Boys to Brilliant, Resilient Women

3. Late Diagnosis and Life Transitions Spark Purposeful Change

4. Clutter, Organization, and ADHD: The Personal and Professional Nexus

5. Multiple ADHD Brains, Multiple Approaches to Clutter

6. The Emotional and Practical Realities of Downsizing ("Right-Sizing")

7. The Future of ADHD: Aging, Medication, and Community Support

8. Bringing in the Professionals—Benefits and Costs

9. Lessons from Seniors Applied to Life Now

Practical Tips & Strategies

Organization & Decluttering

Mindset Shifts

Notable Moments & Quotes

Timestamps for Important Segments

Resources Mentioned

Closing Thoughts

Summary

Podcast Episode Summary

Episode Overview

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. ADHD Hidden in Plain Sight—Especially for Women and Seniors

2. Redefining ADHD: From Hyperactive Boys to Brilliant, Resilient Women

3. Late Diagnosis and Life Transitions Spark Purposeful Change

4. Clutter, Organization, and ADHD: The Personal and Professional Nexus

5. Multiple ADHD Brains, Multiple Approaches to Clutter

6. The Emotional and Practical Realities of Downsizing ("Right-Sizing")

7. The Future of ADHD: Aging, Medication, and Community Support

8. Bringing in the Professionals—Benefits and Costs

9. Lessons from Seniors Applied to Life Now

Practical Tips & Strategies

Organization & Decluttering

Mindset Shifts

Notable Moments & Quotes

Timestamps for Important Segments

Resources Mentioned

Closing Thoughts