Podcast Summary:

ADHD for Smart Ass Women with Tracy Otsuka
Episode 357: "Seeing Is Freeing: Dr. Kalaki Clarke on ADHD Without Shame"
Release Date: November 5, 2025
Host: Tracy Otsuka
Guest: Dr. Kalaki Clarke, family physician, TEDx speaker, and ADHD advocate

Overview

This episode welcomes Dr. Kalaki Clarke—a board-certified family physician, educator, and passionate ADHD/lived-experience advocate—to discuss the freedom that comes from being truly seen as an ADHD woman (and woman of color) in a world that often misunderstands neurodivergent people. Dr. Clarke shares her diagnosis story, explores the challenges of masking and thriving in high-pressure environments, and introduces her CAT method, a practical framework for transforming struggles into strategies. The conversation is rich with humor, honesty, metaphor, and a focus on the power of self-acceptance and advocacy.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. ADHD Diagnosis Journey and Masking

• Dr. Clarke’s Childhood and Early Adulthood (05:15):

  • Grew up academically inclined; “a good kid” driven to become a doctor since age five.
  • “School was actually good. That was all I did. I studied all the time, and science was good as well. …But it wasn’t until residency 10 years ago where it was like the mask came off, so to speak, but I didn’t know I was masking.” (05:29)
  • Masking in educational settings allows ADHD women to succeed while hiding the struggles of everyday life—laundry, time management, daily routines.

• Transition to Adulthood—ADHD Revealed Under Stress (07:04):

  • The high-stress environment of medical residency made hiding struggles impossible.
  • Dr. Clarke describes “crashing out” and mental health crises, shedding light on the immense pressure on medical trainees, especially those with ADHD and from underrepresented backgrounds.

• Path to Diagnosis: The Power of Self-Recognition

  • Realized many symptoms through observation—both in herself and in a 10-year-old patient with similar traits.
  • “I show my scars so people can know that wounds can heal.” (06:55)
  • Confirmation: Diagnosed with Inattentive Type ADHD at 35 after self-reflection and professional assessment.

• Stigma and Internalized Shame (08:23, 11:31):

  • The relief of diagnosis was mixed with feelings of being “flawed,” but understanding the neurobiological basis (“I didn’t ask for this”) provided a turning point toward self-compassion.
  • Dr. Clarke highlights the importance of accepting it as a “trait”—“the saving grace that keeps me forgiving and giving myself grace.” (11:31)

2. ADHD in Women and Medicine: Intersectionality and Systemic Challenges

• Underrepresentation and Isolation (07:04–14:53):

  • “I was the only one that looked like me.” [on diversity among medical trainees]
  • Sobering statistic: “One doctor dies by suicide daily. About 300 to 400 physicians or medical students or residents…” (07:44)

• Systemic Issues: Sleep Deprivation & Structure

  • Critique of the prolonged, traumatic, and sleep-deprived structure of medical training (13:36).
  • Improvement over time, but “still traumatic”—Dr. Clarke praises new self-care regulations and advocates for empathy and reform.

• Diversity & Inclusion in Medicine

  • Only 3% of doctors are Black women—a figure unchanged for decades. (14:39)
  • Analogy: “Think of a pool of fish…you’re not saying, I’m going to take the fish that’s struggling. …You’re going to cast that net to make sure you collect some of those polka dot ones and not have a class full of orange fish.” (15:04)
  • “There’s no special Black test, there’s no white test or Asian test. It’s ridiculous.” (16:01)

3. Life Before and After Diagnosis: Empowerment Through Self-Advocacy

• Coming Out at Work, Navigating Support/Accommodation (16:38):

  • “Are you open about it?” — “Oh, I had to be open about it. …I had to advocate for myself because I wanted to continue the program.” (17:09)
  • Once supported, the pathway to success became possible: “It went from, ‘What are we gonna do with her?’ to, ‘We’re gonna support you and get you through.’” (17:13)

• Key Insight: “The only place the ADHD brain struggles is the place where the environment is wrong.” (18:10)

  • Importance of “good soil”—right environment fosters thriving.

• Resilience Theme:

  • “You did not ask to have ADHD. You did not ask for it. …Someone’s ignorance of your diagnosis does not negate your lived experience.” (19:46)

4. Seeing Is Freeing: The Power of Being Seen Without Shame

• Concept from TEDx Talk (20:21):

  • “Seeing is freeing—it’s for not only you, but also for the neurotypical brain as well.” (20:38)
  • Reference to Schrödinger’s Cat as a metaphor for holding multiple paradoxical realities—capable and chaotic, smart but scattered.
  • “When you see yourself as, ‘I have this challenge. It is what it is. Don’t shame yourself about it.’ …Take your struggle to strategy.” (21:42)
  • Being “seen” means self-acceptance and securing external support/compassion.

• Metaphor of Oranges and Apples (23:02):

  • “We’re the orange…. We have layers. …The orange is delicate, it’s protected, but inside, you peel off that layer, you see what’s there, those juices...” (23:02)
  • Orange as the color for ADHD awareness.

5. The CAT Method: Transforming Struggle Into Strategy

• Framework Overview (27:21):

  • Capture: Notice and name the struggle without judgment (e.g., “I don’t want to wash the dishes”)
  • Analyze: Observe what happens—why do you avoid it, or what triggers it?
  • Transform (Strategy): Modify the environment or task to work with your brain (e.g., play music while doing dishes).
  • “I didn’t change my brain. I changed the environment.” (28:15)
  • Applies to both ADHDers and neurotypicals in relationships and workplaces.

• Relatable Example:

  • “Spoiler alert. The TED Talk. I was 30 minutes late for it.” (30:15)
  • Dr. Clarke shares detailed, humorous story about being late for her own TEDx talk due to classic ADHD behaviors: time blindness, distraction, dead phone battery, and creative problem-solving under stress.

6. Advocacy and Accommodation in Professional Spaces

• Importance of Representation & Accommodation (38:31):

  • “We’re not going anywhere. …Educators need to realize that the population at large includes neurodivergent learners.”
  • “Accommodate is not babying. It’s leveling the playing field. …You’re just putting them [neurodivergent professionals] at the starting line.” (39:00)
  • The benefits extend to more empathetic, innovative care for patients.

• Self-Confidence and Advocacy

  • “If I wasn’t a good doctor, I would have been fired a long time ago. …And to be really transparent…if I was not a good doctor, I would not be on platforms. …That’s why your work is so important.” (43:07–43:19)

7. Humor, Realness, and Coping

• Notable Quotes and Moments:

  • “My message was bigger than my mess.” (45:06)
  • On body doubling: “I would take two days to finish six documents on my own. Body doubling…within 50 minutes, I got 12 things done.” (49:52)
  • On hacks: “Look back everywhere I go. Turn around and look back, because I’m going to leave something.” (48:06)

• Honest Stories about ADHD Realities

  • Losing her debit card and only realizing it because it came back in her laundry pickup (49:10).
  • Admonition to “never believe yourself; you don’t have time” on time management (47:01).

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the need for acceptance:

  “It was a double-edged sword. It’s like, ‘Well, that’s what’s wrong with me.’ …But then you’re kind of happy. Not happy, but you’re relieved because it makes sense. …It’s not your fault. That’s my saving grace.”
  (Dr. Clarke, 11:31)

• On systemic support:

  “Once I learned more and was able to advocate for myself, it went from, ‘What are we gonna do with her?’ to, ‘We’re gonna support you and get you through.’ ...When you allow someone to intimidate you to feel that way, then they win. And you didn’t ask for this.”
  (Dr. Clarke, 17:12–17:20)

• On intersectionality:

  “I have all these layers. I’m African American, I’m female, I have ADHD. But at the same time, I’m a physician. So I’m experiencing all these worlds. ...But that’s like the paradox, you know, it’s like I’m Schrodinger’s cat.”
  (Dr. Clarke, 41:51)

• On embracing difference:

  “You have to work with how your brain works. …Give yourself grace... Don’t compare yourself to another apple or even to another orange.”
  (Dr. Clarke, 24:09)

• On the CAT Method and real-life late-to-TEDx story:

  “Spoiler alert—The TED Talk. I was 30 minutes late for it. ...Imagine. But did you watch it? Did you like it? Yeah, absolutely. Hey, I rose to the occasion, but it was so stressful. It was traumatic.”
  (Dr. Clarke, 30:15)

Timeline of Important Segments

• 00:02–04:05: Tracy’s intro and Dr. Clarke’s background
• 05:15–12:59: Dr. Clarke’s childhood, college, masking, residency struggles, and diagnosis journey
• 13:36–16:20: Residency system’s toll on mental health, underrepresentation in medicine
• 16:20–19:46: Processing diagnosis, coming out at work, advocacy, environment matters
• 20:21–24:09: The “Seeing is Freeing” philosophy and Schrödinger’s Cat analogy
• 27:21–30:15: The CAT Method explained
• 30:15–34:14: Lateness story for TEDx Talk—ADHD time blindness in action
• 38:31–44:58: Advocacy for professionals with ADHD; importance in medicine, law
• 48:03–52:51: Lightning round (favorite hack, last lost item, essential system), where to find Dr. Clarke, final reflections

Where to Find Dr. Kalaki Clarke

• Instagram: @_md_kalaki (note: sporadic posting, authentic ADHD realness!)
• TEDx Talk: Search “TEDx Kalaki Clarke Seeing is Freeing” on YouTube (turn on captions; message Dr. Clarke on IG for a higher-quality audio link)
• Advocacy & Speaking: Dr. Clarke is open for panels, talks, outreach—especially for medical and educational audiences.

Final Takeaways

• Seeing and accepting oneself without shame is foundational for thriving with ADHD.
• Advocating for support isn’t about special treatment; it’s about equity and in turn benefits everyone.
• The CAT method (Capture, Analyze, Transform) helps turn struggle into usable strategy—in home, work, and relationships.
• ADHDers shine brightest in environments that leverage their interest, compassion, and creativity—when given the right “soil,” they thrive (and help others thrive, too).
• Dr. Clarke personifies embracing neurodivergence with candor, humor, and hope, making this episode a must-listen for ADHDers, educators, and allies alike.

Memorable Quote to Remember:

“My message was bigger than my mess.” (Dr. Kalaki Clarke, 45:06)