Podcast Summary

Podcast: ADHD for Smart Ass Women with Tracy Otsuka
Episode: EP. 371: When the Problem Isn’t You - It’s the System with Stephanie Ray
Date: February 11, 2026
Guest: Stephanie Ray (Neurodivergent Lawyer & Coach, Founder of Growthset Coaching)

Overview:

This episode dives deep into the experiences of neurodivergent women navigating the high-pressure environment of law and academia. Host Tracy Otsuka welcomes Stephanie Ray, a lawyer, coach, and passionate advocate for neurodivergent learners, to discuss why struggles with traditional systems are not personal failings, but mismatches between those systems and ADHD (and other neurodivergent) brains. They share practical strategies, stories of resilience, and ways to create strengths-based study and work habits that honor each individual’s learning style.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Stephanie’s ADHD Story and Diagnosis

• Late Diagnosis and Childhood Struggles
  • Stephanie was diagnosed with ADHD in her early 30s, after years of compensating for her symptoms and being diagnosed with auditory processing disorder and dyslexia as a child (06:06).
  • Quote: “A lot of women, including myself, either had been undiagnosed or had been compensating with our symptoms for a really long time. And I was one of those people.” —Stephanie (06:18)
• Misattribution and Gender Bias in Diagnosis
  • Stephanie explained how, as a girl and a "good student," her ADHD symptoms weren't flagged by teachers, and her challenges were chalked up to her other diagnoses (09:26).
  • Quote: “If you had, you know, a young girl like me who was…a good student in class, but really struggled with homework, remembering things, that didn’t really flag a lot of my teachers…” —Stephanie (09:32)
• Diagnosis Process
  • Formal ADHD diagnosis occurred post-law school, triggered by struggles with the transition from structured academia to a more variable workplace (08:30).
  • Support from therapists and prescribers was foundational for her journey (08:00).

2. Navigating Social and Academic Life with ADHD

• Social Experience Growing Up
  • Stephanie described being a “really shy child,” later becoming drastically more outgoing (“capital E, Extrovert”) as she matured (10:52, 14:26). She attributes some social growth to friendships and moving often.
• Childhood Learning Challenges
  • Early issues included forgetfulness, losing track of homework, and only excelling in subjects of deep personal interest (11:07).
  • Quote: “I totally thought I did. And I looked down and I hadn’t. And that was really the initial signs of forgetfulness…” —Stephanie (11:24)

3. Law School: Struggles & Strategies

• Transition to Law School

  • Despite excelling in high school and undergrad, law school’s traditional, rigid format and memorization requirements posed new challenges (16:44).
  • The Socratic method and high-stakes classroom participation were described as “emotionally dysregulating” (18:55).
  • Quote: “Being called on and being asked to stand up and think on my feet really quickly…my first time was horrible.” —Stephanie (19:33)

• Imposter Syndrome

  • Stephanie faced intense doubt and comparison early in law school:
    • “From the moment I walked in the door, I felt like, I am not cut out to be here.” (21:35)
  • The real challenge lay in absorbing vast, rigidly-structured material—especially memorizing for closed-book exams, a skill less demanded in her former education (23:28).

• Systemic Problems: It’s Not You, It’s the System

  • Both Tracy and Stephanie emphasized that neurodivergent brains aren’t “defective,” but often forced into systems that were never designed for them (24:02, 26:47).

4. Custom Learning Systems & “Unlearning” Norms

• Personalizing Study Methods

  • Stephanie created unique study aids (colorful PowerPoints, flowcharts, visual representations) instead of conforming to traditional outlines (26:47).
  • Sketching concepts, using color, and “playful, childlike curiosity” turned complex legal doctrines into memorable visuals (29:49–31:33).
    • Quote: “If I was able to figure out a way to describe these concepts in ways that…and for me, were playful. It was playfulness and curiosity…That was the thing that helped me the most.” —Stephanie (30:22)

• Kinesthetic and Auditory-Learning Hacks

  • She recorded herself reading outlines and listened while walking or commuting, discovering that self-narrated stories (not just steps) made material “stick”—despite her auditory processing disorder (32:40–34:48).
    • Quote: "When I hear it and I'm speaking it aloud...or I'm drawing a flowchart...that is, for me, my trifecta. If I'm able to hit it at all angles, that's where I get the most retention..." (35:14)

5. Bar Prep, Study Tools & Time Management

• Effective Study Routines for Neurodivergent Brains

  • Deep vs. Wide Learning: Focusing deeply on one topic yields better results than superficial skimming. Stack review, practice questions, and essays on a single subject before moving on (38:08–42:01).
    • Quote: “...zone in on one topic that you are going to review …do a question set…and then review all of your answers…then do a practice essay on that same topic.” (38:54–39:43)

• Boundary Setting and Avoiding Overwhelm

  • Strategies include timeboxing with timers, giving yourself explicit permission to stop after a set interval, using frictionless timers (like Time Timer and Time Cube), and blocking distractions with tools like the Brick and by turning phones grayscale (43:30–52:15).
    • Notable Tool Tip: Tracy recommends the Datex/Time Cube for low-friction time management—just flip to set, no apps required. She finds the device so effective that she’s never stopped working after just one 25-minute session in seven years (45:29).

6. Accommodations, Advocacy, and Self-Awareness

• Accommodations in Law School and Beyond

  • Law students should talk to student resource offices and not fear self-advocacy. Accommodations in law school can directly translate to bar exam accommodations (60:14–64:52).
  • Disclosure is personal, but students with documentation are eligible and should investigate resources early.

• Mentorship and Peer Support

  • Support from mentors and upper-level students, especially neurodivergent ones, is instrumental for success.

• Discovering Your Learning Style

  • Coaching begins with inquiring about past joyful or effective learning and then customizing study methods to leverage those strengths (53:13–58:37).
    • Example: One student’s “messy” class notes became an efficient one-slide PowerPoint visual summary for each topic.

7. Changing Legal and Educational Systems

• The Legal Profession’s Neurodiversity Gaps
  • Stephanie argues the field wrongly undervalues neurodivergent professionals, seeing them as liabilities instead of the creative, systems-challenging problem solvers the profession needs (65:05).
    • Quote: “Neurodiverse people are not a liability in the legal industry. I think they're a necessity in our industry.” —Stephanie (66:00)

8. Embracing ADHD Strengths

• Stephanie’s Top ADHD Strengths

  • Insatiable curiosity, love for details and context, storytelling ability, and creativity—all pivotal for legal problem-solving and lifelong learning (67:17–68:21).
    • Quote: “I think I'm a creative person…I think it gives me an edge when solving problems, solving complex problems for people…” (67:56)

• Promoting Self-Awareness and Self-Acceptance

  • Both Tracy and Stephanie stress: you’re not “bad at school” or “not smart enough”—you’ve just not been taught in ways that align with your brain (57:02).

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “No one ever made a difference by being too little.” —Tracy Otsuka (Intro, 03:05)
• “You were never the problem. You just have a different brain, which means you need different systems.” —Tracy (24:02; repeated at multiple intervals)
• “If you give me too many words, they get lost on a page. …If there’s some sort of image on there, I see the image, and right away I know what I’m supposed to say versus if I write it out with words, I get stuck in the words.” —Tracy (28:46)
• “That’s the part I love the most about working with students…Sometimes…they’re already doing it, but need a way to formalize it…” —Stephanie (58:44)
• “Lawyers are creative. We have to be creative. Neurodiverse people are not a liability in the legal industry…we are powerful minds and can contribute heavily…” —Stephanie (65:29)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Stephanie’s Diagnosis & Early Experiences: 06:06–14:26
• Law School Challenges & Strategies: 16:44–24:02
• Custom Study Systems & Visual Learning: 26:47–31:33
• Recording Outlines/Multisensory Learning: 32:40–36:29
• ADHD Study Tools (Timers, Brick, Grayscale): 43:22–52:15
• Accommodations & Law School Advice: 60:14–64:52
• Strengths of Neurodivergent Lawyers: 65:05–68:21
• About Growth Set Coaching: 68:34–70:17

Guest Info & Resources

• Stephanie Ray / Growthset Coaching:
  • Website: www.growthsetcoaching.com (69:44)
  • Offers: Support for neurodivergent law students/bar takers; sliding scale available

Tone and Takeaway

Both Tracy and Stephanie approach ADHD with humor, warmth, and optimism. The core message: Neurodivergent brains aren’t broken—they are brilliant, and with systems that work for them, not against them, students and professionals can thrive. The episode is rich in practical advice and empathy, especially for women who have spent years viewing themselves as the problem when, in fact, it’s been the system all along.

For more info on Tracy’s book and patented support system, see: adhdforsmartwomen.com and the show notes.