B (3:33)

Yes.

A (3:34)

I am really, really unable to control my impulses when it comes to, for whatever reason, that kind of a game. And I tracked it for a couple weeks on my weekly habit tracker. And I finally was like, okay, if you can't keep your game time to under an hour. Because I was not. Every single day, I would dismiss my hour prompt. Hey, you're at your hour limit. And I'd be like, dismiss, ignore, ignore. Every day, ignore. So I tracked it and I told myself the final weeks, I'd done it two weeks in a row where I was just completely blowing away the time. Because once I passed the hour. Great, all bets are off. I have no idea how long I was on it. I wasn't reading, I wasn't knitting. I was just playing this game and loving life. But really, really. But I, the third week, I, I put a little challenge myself. If you can't keep it to the hour minimum. And this is for my wordle. Yeah. Or, you know, anything that I'm doing game wise on my phone, you have to delete the app. Like, I was committing myself to this. Like, like, yeah, let's see if you can rein it in. Nope.

B (4:38)

Yeah.

A (4:39)

So I told my husband before we started that week, I said, if I can't manage this. And he's like, stop playing on your own. I'm like, I tried. Not that. It's kind of like saying, stop worrying. So I deleted the app, and it has now been probably 10 or 12 days since I did that. I don't miss it at all. That's what I find so fascinating. When I deleted my social media apps completely, it's like, all or nothing. Brain really works here. I don't miss them one bit. Not the latest, right? Yeah. It gives you so much more back. It's like, we feel like this is so sparkly, and this is all I want to do. And then as soon as it's gone, it's like, oh, well, there's my knitting. Here's my book. Like, it was like, oh. Instead of feeling like it was, the most fun, exciting thing, I realized is it was. It really like. I did enjoy playing the game with my husband, but we actually got out the Scrabble board and played Scrabble. Like an actual game of Scrabble.

B (5:37)

Just organized your board game Closet.

A (5:39)

Exactly. So we can get to it all. Yeah. So those are my. My combination wins there. All right. I got some good energy going for my wins. So I did purchase an anxiety tool. This week was my one thing I purchased. I'm. I spent $45 total. I'm going to share more about it in a future episode. But I did want to hold myself accountable that I did purchase it. But I bought it to try it out and to bring here, and maybe it'll be a product of the week I can share. And then my actual product for this week is my final stocking stuffer gift from my husband, but that my daughter picked out. Have you tried this?

B (6:19)

I have.

A (6:20)

Oh, my gosh. Out.

B (6:22)

And I need to get more.

A (6:23)

Do you keep using the little stick applicant? The little.

B (6:25)

Yeah.

A (6:26)

I think my dogs found it. It's. It's gone.

B (6:29)

I hate getting it on my fingers.

A (6:31)

Yeah, no, it is. It is. It is very thick.

B (6:34)

Yeah. And sticky.

A (6:35)

Yeah. Yeah. It's not easily removed without having to go wash your hands. No, I agree. I agree. So I'm sorry, if you're listening to this, you have no idea what we're talking about. But check out my YouTube channel. ADHD. Friendly for all the visuals, but I'm gonna. Do you know how to pronounce it?

B (6:51)

I do not.

A (6:52)

Okay, so it's spelled L, A, L, A N E, I G, E. I'm gonna pronounce it Lange. Lately. I don't know. I'm sorry, I. We'll get more to the name challenge in a minute. For our main topic, it's a lip sleeping mask. It nourishes, hydrates, has vitamin C, shea butter, Antioxidants. It's for flaky, dry lips, which you will not. At least I have not had, not

B (7:19)

since using it, any of that.

A (7:20)

This winter it has 4.6 out of 5 stars on Amazon with over 36,000 reviews. So apparently I am slow to pick up this it's product. I had never heard of it. $19.20. I still have it for my stocking stuffer. It's on sale.

B (7:37)

Then it was like. It's usually like 24.

A (7:39)

Really?

B (7:40)

Yeah, it's more than that.

A (7:41)

So now this was today. I can't guarantee that'll be the price when you go look for it. I always like to. Oh, look, list price, $24. You're right. It was on sale, 20% off.

B (7:49)

Better go buy my.

A (7:53)

But my flavor is grapefruit, which I printed out here so you'd see it. But it comes in lots of flavors. Oh, vanilla one that I thought sounded really good. They have strawberry shortcake.

B (8:03)

Oh, that sounds delicious.

A (8:04)

Gummy bear, berry, peach iced tea, hot cocoa. Oh, my God. And many more. There was like 15 flavors. I stopped writing them down. I was like, all right, you know what, you can go check it out if that's something that interests you. But it does feel very luxurious. It. It's not like I'm tasting it, but it's. It feels like it tastes good, if that makes sense. Like, I don't have this. Like, oh, keep your tongue. Like, make sure you don't lick your lips after it's on.

B (8:26)

Right.

A (8:27)

It has this sense that it's almost like a lip balm that has flavor in it or something. And I don't know if it does, but it doesn't bother me at all. I'm not at all, like, aware of it once I put it on. I'm not trying to, like, you know, not like my lips or not. I haven't had to get on my pillow. Right. Case or anything. So I've been very pleased with it. So I wanted to pass on that information and a final thank you to my husband for trusting my daughter to pick out my stocking stalkers this year. Please do that next year because it has been a lot of fun. I've enjoyed all of the different. These are things I don't buy for myself. So I really enjoyed them.

B (9:02)

And they're useful.

A (9:03)

They're very useful. And now apparently I will buy them for myself because now it's why they do samples. Right. I get you to try things.

B (9:10)

You're like, I need this.

A (9:12)

Yeah, yeah. We just kind of what this podcast is for a lot of people who end up working with me. It's like, you get a chance to see, like, oh, I like the way it feels comfortable listening to her. I like her voice or, you know, it. It's a little taste test, if you will, a little sample. But anyway, I digress. So here's my tool. So this came from my life hack calendar, which, you know, I love. Something like, some of the tips are so, like, okay. Like, I can't. I wish I can remember yesterday because I was like, that's, like, the dumbest thing I've ever like. It was, like, so obvious that it was like, if you're tired, take a nap or, like, lay down. Or I was like, all right. But this one was good. This was. I felt very sparkly when I read this. You guys know I love structure around things that help me make decisions, especially with stuff. So if you are shopping online in person for your home, so this isn't something to wear, isn't something, you know, lip mask or whatever else. And please, like. Like, hit the pause button if it's not in your budget and it's just sparkly. But that's hard for us. So I want to acknowledge giving yourself permission just to be like, no, I don't want to look at it, because I don't even need to. But if you're kind of, like, ready to check out in the store or in virtually. In the virtual. Virtual store, ask yourself two questions before you buy things for your home. Okay, I love this. So I've edited the first question a little bit because this works for me. So it's where will it live? So it forces you to think about, like, okay, if we go back to my game closet example, do I have room in the game closet for this? Like, where will it live? Well, it will live in the game closet. Okay. Is it just like a small little card game that can easily fit, or is it going to be a big box game that I'm not sure if it's going to fit in there. Yeah. So where will it be stored or live? So you're literally checking in to see type space for this or is this going to declutter?

B (11:05)

Yeah.

A (11:06)

And then the second question is, I love this one so much. How difficult will it be to clean?

B (11:12)

Oh, that's a good one.

A (11:14)

So I. I know a couple of people that are really into. And I'm not going to say this word. Well, the Crystal Sword Swarovski. Okay.

B (11:21)

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

A (11:22)

I don't know what it's Called.

B (11:23)

But no, I know what you're.

A (11:25)

Yeah, it's apparently very pretty, kind of pricey crystal figurine things. And. And I remember the first time I saw them, I was like, not for me. Like, not. Not even the slightest attempted. Because I got into the precious moments thing years and years ago, had a little precious moments, bride and groom of my wedding cake. Like, all of that. You can't clean those things for anything if they just get dusty. It's like this layer of dirt in all the crevices. It's a pain in the butt. Totally not for me. So that's what I think about when I see, like, those little crystal things. But I love just asking yourself, if it's going to be out, how hard is this thing going to be to clean?

B (12:07)

That's good.

A (12:08)

So I just wanted to pass that on because I thought there were two really sparkly, easy questions to ask yourself before you buy something for your home so that you're doing it a little bit more mindfully and setting yourself up to enjoy it instead of having another toleration that you now have to figure out, how do I get that thing clean? Yeah, how do I keep it clean? Like, I know, like, when we moved here, there's a lot of, like, marble and stone and different, like, surfaces in this house that we had never had before. Right? I don't. I'm like, how do I remember, like, reaching out to the original owners? I'm like, how do you clean the. The. The. The tile? Like, what do you use for the flavors, like terracotta in the kitchen? I'm like, do you do something special to, like, I felt like it. Like, I felt like an idiot, though. I was like, how clean? But, you know, thinking about, like, how hard is it going to be to clean this thing that I'm getting from my home? Whether it's. Even if you're thinking about buying carpet or tile or flooring, how hard is it to keep clean? Because that's a pretty big consideration, especially when you think about our ADHD wiring. And if it's hard to keep up with, we're going to have resistance to doing it. So be kind to your future self and check out those two questions and see if they help you again. Episode 231 if you want to share, if you have a question to ask yourself, or if you try either of those, let us know how they work. All right, our main topic today, why ADHD brains can struggle to remember names. So have you ever met someone and heard their name and then immediately, even like, while you're still in the conversation, don't remember what they said their name was? Yep, like, pretty much every single time. Unless you have my name, right, or like my kid's name or my husband's name, I am not going to remember your name, period. Maybe you remember what they were wearing or if they mentioned what their job was or if they had a dog. The dog's name. But the dog had a dog. Yeah, you might remember some details, but probably not their name. If that sounds familiar to you. A lot of people with ADHD assume it's because we don't care enough to remember, or we're just bad with, you know, people. And. And that's like another example of a way that we struggle socially, but it really is able to be explained neurologically. So before I dive into this, I'm going to share a couple of terms I learned after reading our book of the week this week, which is kind of what led me down this path. But I want to remind everybody I am not a medical professional, provider, medically trained, expert, medically, in any way, shape or form. So I am not providing any kind of medical advice, diagnoses, anything like that at any point in anything I share, ever. But with that being said, I found this phrase in the book of the Week this week, which is called the Shippers, where one of the characters mentions that they have. They mentioned a couple of terms about how they have a difficult time remembering people's names. And the terms were nominal, anomia and proper name, anomia. And briefly, these terms describe difficulty recalling names or retrieving them. And I wondered, is this something that people with ADHD also experience? Because it. It totally. I was like, what? What? There's a name?

B (15:36)

Yeah.

A (15:36)

Because I have always struggled with this, like, to a disproportionate degree. I think even people with ADHD who struggle with this, sometimes I feel like they don't struggle in the same way. Or maybe as long as I do, like, I won't remember people's names for. Even if I'm encountering them every week. Like, in my knit group, it took me, like, literally over a year or more to remember some of the people I was seeing weekly because we don't wear name tags and they sit in different places and I'm just really. And people are always saying their names. So I just had a really hard time. So let me start by defining what these terms meant, because when I read them in the book, I'm like, oh, my gosh, what is that? I literally put the book down and had to go research. So nominal anomia is difficulty retrieving the names of places, brands, streets, or specific objects. So this is often discussed in connection with dementia or having a brain injury is where that term most often comes up. Proper name anomia is difficulty remembering specific names of people. Like, proper names of things. Maybe, like, a brand name of something. So you're like, I know, like, that's a hair dryer, but I can't tell you the brand of that. Right. I always do it with, like, networks. I'm like, I don't remember where it's streaming. I just know I like the show, but I can't tell you, like, where it is or that kind of thing. Um, maybe you don't remember the road name, which. I know I still coming on eight years here. All these roads have more than one name. I think I know four, maybe five road names. Like, two of them being like, my road. And like, like, like, like. I am really, really bad at road names. Restaurants. I'd be like, yo, there's a restaurant on the corner. I can see it in my mind's eye. I know it's got a sign. Unless it's like a chain that I'm seeing all the time. Yeah, I'm like, I know. Like, there's a restaurant across the street from, like, that, where that IHOP is on the corner. That's an Italian restaurant that I know. I think you and I even went to. Oh, I couldn't tell you what it's called. Yes. Yeah. No idea. It's like, no idea. I pass it all the time.

B (17:46)

You described it.

A (17:47)

Yeah, but. But I don't remember the name. Yeah. So that's proper name. Anomia. Okay, Best my understanding, please. Again, if I'm hacking these, let me know. But that's what I found in my research. So there's an important distinction for these. So with dementia and brain injury, these difficulties with name retrieval are due to neurological damage. Okay. With adhd, it is caused by the impact on your executive functioning skills. So when you think about, you know, being able to focus and pay attention when somebody is giving you details, when you are trying to use your working memory to hold on to the information that you're hearing while also continuing to listen and keep up with what's being said and thinking about what your reply is, and it's holding all that information in mind is a real challenge. So it's about retrieval challenges, not, you know, kind of dementia. So. So want to, you know, really highlight that ADHD brains are just encoding that information differently and how we encode it is impacted by our executive functions and where those skills are impacted. So you might be better at it than some others because maybe you have better working memory and sustained attention than somebody else with adhd. So. Doesn't mean it shows up the same for all of us. But if this is something that you struggle with, I just wanted to kind of hit on this a little bit. So some common factors related to ADHD challenges with names are that names are abstract and they don't connect like that. That restaurant. I know it's an Italian restaurant. I know it had good food. The name means nothing to me. I have nothing to connect to. IHOP. I grew up with iHOP. Totally know it, recognize it. I remember it. It has a context for me to remember. Yeah. Over time already says none. We have a hard time paying attention during introductions. Like I mentioned a minute ago. So. So they often happen in busy environments. There's a lot going on, and we are really, you know, struggling to hold on to that detail. That one word that came out with everything else going on around us. Names alone are not meaningful yet. So if the person shared their name and it's like Mike or Sarah or something, it's. It doesn't have anything besides just a random name.

B (20:05)

Yeah.

A (20:06)

And it's interesting because I struggle with more unusual names. Much more than common. Yeah. Or if you. If you pronounce a regular common name with an accent somewhere that I'm not used to it, I will really struggle to remember where to place the emphasis. Yeah. And then, of course, we struggle to retrieve quickly. So that also can lead to that emotional flooding where we're like, oh, gosh. Oh, gosh, I know them. I know them. Oh, gosh, what is their name? Because especially if you're somebody else and you feel like you're going to have to introduce them and it's like, oh, my gosh. I immediately get overwhelmed because there's no. And then there's no way I'm getting it.

B (20:44)

Yeah.

A (20:45)

Because now my brain is completely flooded. Yeah. So I want to underline. This is laziness. This is. This is not laziness. This is not laziness. This is not rudeness. This is about, in this case, executive function challenges. And names are harder than other things because they're arbitrary. They don't have a description to them unless they do. Right. I love. Like, this one was like, my name's April because I was born in April. Oh, my gosh. Okay. Now I have, like, some information to Connect that to. Or the name is, like, Elm street because it has all these, like, elm trees that are hanging over it. Like, okay, maybe I can connect that. Or like, when it's, like, named after the store that's on it or something. If it's like, you know, like, if there's just something that you can connect it to. But ordinarily, they're not descriptive. You often only hear them once, and they're not tied to a visual meaning. Now, when I. When I think of hop, it's funny because even when I think of that, I picture the IHOP sign. Sign. Yeah. So that has a visual thing. Moretta. Moretti's. I have no idea what that sign looks like. I can't tell you. It might be green rating, but I think I'm assuming that it's either green or red. Maybe red. All right. See, I don't know. Yeah, so I don't have anything visual tying me to it. Right. So some examples are you might remember somebody is a veterinarian or that they have a golden retriever or a dog versus a cat, but not the name of the person or the dog or the cat. Many people with ADHD experience this, and it's connected to how we're encoding that information and our ability to retrieve it once we have it. Not about us having bad memory so much as we're not getting that information sticky and stuck in our brain the way that other brains might be able to. We with ADHD are known more for remembering stories in context than we are named. So we remember the details of things. Like, oh, I remember they were saying that they worked downtown and that, you know, I remember like. Like the story to it, but not the name of the person. So there are some strategies to help remember names. You've probably heard some of these before. I'm going to share them really quickly and just give you a chance to see. Is there something that would help? If this is an area that you struggle with, repeat the name immediately. So if somebody says, hi, I'm Sarah, you say, oh, Sarah, it's so nice to meet you. That does not work for me. I do it all the time. It does not. I might remember for 10 more seconds, but then it's still gone. But it is one that a lot of times is recommended. Attach a detail to it. So whether it can be alliterative, like, you know, Sarah, the. I can't think of something that starts with an S. The skater, I don't know. Like, but, you know, you put something that. That helps you connect to it or Mike with the motor. Mike has a motorcycle. You know something that is going to help you remember. Link an image to their name. So kind of like the IHOP image or like Nike. If you see Nike, like you see the swoosh in your mind's eye, see if there's a, an image you can link. I always use this one and I love that this came up like when I was looking for strategies. Normalize your experience by saying, hey, I hope it's okay if I, if I ask for your name again, can you remind me? Because we will forget. I always tell people, I'm so, so nice to meet you, Sarah. I'm going to forget your name. So I'm going to ask you and I hope that you don't take that personally. I just really have a hard time remembering names. It's nothing personal and it helps me to ask again when I say that than if I didn't say it and then I have to ask later. So I've noticed it lowers my resistance. Yeah, just kind of like plant the seed. Like, hey, I told you I'm not good at names. And here's the evidence. Don't be offended. I told you. I told you I was going to ask. Write it down after you meet them. So if you go to a meeting or a networking event, make a note. I did this in my knit group, my book club. I write. I have a little app. Oh, nice. Yeah, I go in there and the best thing in the world is if I can somehow get a picture of them. Oh, nice. Because I will write descriptors like, like, you know, they're in their 40s, they have dark short hair, you know, something. Or they tend to sit in the corner seat or the front row or whatever. But keep a list with a basic description. And like I said, for me a picture is best. If I have a picture with their name, I can really casually reference it and be like, I remember who you are. Yeah. So really, I want to support shifting your mindset that forgetting names doesn't mean you don't value the person that you're meeting or that you know and you forgot their name. It just means that with ADHD brain wiring, we are prioritizing the context over the name itself. So the information over labels is how to think about it. So we're holding on to the information that is most sticky and most easy for our brain to hold on to. And the things that fall off are often names. So names are one of the hardest pieces of information for anyone's brain to store. It's just often even more difficult for our brain. They're arbitrary labels with very little meaning attached. And like I said, we often remember stories and context and experiences beautifully. Just not the names of the people that we interacted with, or the brands of the thing, or the name of the restaurant of the street. Those are much harder often for us to retrieve. So if names are harder for you to remember, I'd love to hear any strategies that have worked for you to make them stick in your brain with a little bit more ease. All right, now for our Book of the week. And it is, as I mentioned earlier, the Shippers. This is available for pre order only. It comes out May 19th of this year, 2026. It's by Catherine Center. I want to thank NetGalley for giving me an advanced copy of it. I love her book. She's also written Love Haters, the Bodyguard, the Romcommerce. This is a destination wedding that takes place on a cruise ship where old friends, old crushes and bad timing all come together. It's a summer romance that I highly recommend you give to yourself. I gave it a four out of five. It was a really fast and fun read. Thoroughly enjoyed it. Again, thanks to NetGalley for that advanced copy of it. And now as we wrap up, my quote for the week. This is from James Clear and James said, learning more will increase knowledge, but only attempting more will reduce fear. He says the more you try it, the less you will fear it. And I have found that very, very true in life, James. So thank you for again saying things in a very clear, concise way that makes sense. That's it for this episode. As always, take what works for you, leave the rest behind. And until next time, Valley, Hub.