ADHD-Friendly with Patty Blinderman

Episode 225: "Do You Have FOFO?"

Release Date: February 11, 2026
Host: Patty Blinderman

Brief Overview

This episode explores the concept of "FOFO"—Fear of Finding Out—through Patty’s unique, ADHD-friendly lens. Patty discusses how FOFO impacts individuals with ADHD, not just in medical contexts but financially, socially, and emotionally. She blends her own experiences, reader questions, lighthearted anecdotes, and practical strategies to guide listeners from avoidance toward more empowered action, closing as always with a sparkly highlight and a Peanuts quote.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Celebrating Success & Accountability

• Word of the Year "Forward": Patty starts with a success celebration, centering on her word of the year, “Forward.”
  • She shares how a Dory charm (from Finding Nemo) symbolizes this for her: "To move forward, you have to keep swimming. So she's my 'just keep swimming.' Just keep swimming." [03:00]
• Swimming Routine: She details her efforts to maintain her twice-weekly swimming habit despite resistance, crediting forward planning and accountability.
  • Accountability Posting: Regular updates to her membership help her stay on track.
    • "I want to be able to share that I follow through in the intention so that accountability is really strong for me and I don't do a lot without accountability." [05:38]

2. Product of the Week: Bob's Red Mill Steel Cut Oats

• Routine & Satisfaction: Patty delights in her daily steel cut oats, detailing her crockpot method and why she loves them.
  • "It's just my go to thing so I wanted to share. That's my product of the week and that is what I also purchased. Love it." [09:49]
• Sensory and Digestive Benefits: Less processed, more filling, provides a solid breakfast foundation for her ADHD brain.

3. Organizing Sentimental ‘Evidence’ (With Humor!)

• The Envelope Problem: Patty describes a bulging envelope of positive notes, quotes, and testimonials, and the ADHD struggle of what to do with it.
  • "The envelope, it doesn't even close. It's like, it's fat. It's been collecting these things for a while… I didn't want to throw them out because they have a lot of positive memories and evidence that I've collected over the years." [14:50]
• Using ChatGPT for Solutions: She humorously recounts consulting ChatGPT for practical ways to manage these notes, yet ironically misplaces the envelope.
  • "I put it somewhere that makes perfect sense but I have no memory of where that place is." [17:02]
• ChatGPT's Simple Solutions:
  • Take photos and store digitally.
  • Dictate or type into a running note (but she finds this too impersonal).
  • Paste into a notebook for visual/tactile connection (her favorite!).
• Self-Acceptance: These mementos aren’t clutter—they’re “little bits of gold.” [22:14]
  • "It's not clutter. It's...like little bits of gold all in this spot." [22:14]

4. FOFO: Fear of Finding Out—Main Topic

a. Origin and Medical Lens

• FOFO vs. FOMO: Introduces FOFO, draws a Peanuts/Charlie Brown parallel: "When I read the article, I immediately thought of Charlie Brown...and she [Lucy] asks if he has omniphobia...fear of everything. I had that reaction when I read 'do you have FOFO?'" [25:39]
• Health Context: Shares surprising stats (from a 2025 survey) showing 3/5 adults skip screenings—not from lack of access, but from fear/embarrassment.
  • "Three out of five adults in the United States avoided health screenings and listed fear of getting bad news or embarrassment as a common reason." [29:09]
• Common FOFO Triggers:
  • Bad news (e.g., diagnoses, need for medication).
  • Embarrassment or difficult test results (e.g., STD, weight, bloodwork).
  • Anticipated lifestyle changes one may not trust oneself to sustain.

b. ADHD-Specific FOFO

• Amplified by ADHD Brain: Hyperfocus and anxiety can escalate FOFO in ADHDers.
  • Fear of being told to make changes they feel ill-equipped to stick with.
  • "It could be afraid that you're going to be recommended to have a lifestyle change that you don't trust yourself to be able to implement and sustain." [35:35]
• Financial, Social, & Emotional Examples:
  • Avoiding mail/bills, email, or calendars for fear of bad news or overdue items.
  • Not applying for jobs, or asking others for fear of rejection.
  • "We won't open our mail. We don't want to look at our bank statement. We don't want to look at the credit card statement, especially...after Christmas or a vacation. It's that I don't want to know." [39:16]

5. Practical Strategies for FOFO

a. For Medical FOFO (from Health.com & Patty’s lens)

• List pros and cons of knowing vs. not knowing.
• Weigh increased anxiety from uncertainty.
• Use “if-then” planning (e.g., "If my knee isn’t better by X date, I’ll make an appointment.").
• Set reminders and create accountability.
  • "Just having a plan can help you to kind of be okay in the moment without as much stress because you've decided what you're going to do by when and what that action will be." [49:08]
• If stuck, ask for help: doctor, therapist, coach, family, or accountability buddy.
  • "Don't try to do it on your own if that's keeping you stuck. Reach out and ask for help." [53:56]

b. For Non-Medical FOFO

• Body double with someone for opening mail/emails.
• Break tasks into tiny, entry-level steps.
  • "Noticing what would work for you to help you just take one step forward or invite someone to do something that lets you pick a place of beginning." [55:44]
• Use the easiest communication method (e.g., text, send a picture, low stakes invitation).
  • Personal win: inviting friends to events or movies despite nerves, leading to positive social outcomes.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Accountability for Routines:
  “I want to be able to share that I follow through in the intention so that accountability is really strong for me and I don't do a lot without accountability.” [05:38]

• On Organizing Sentimental Notes:
  “It's not clutter. It's...like little bits of gold all in this spot.” [22:14]

• On FOFO and Avoidance:
  “We won't open our mail. We don't want to look at our bank statement. We don't want to look at the credit card statement, especially…after Christmas or a vacation. It's that I don't want to know.” [39:16]

• On Making Difficult Appointments:
  “Just having a plan can help you to kind of be okay in the moment without as much stress because you've decided what you're going to do by when and what that action will be.” [49:08]

• Peanuts Wisdom (Quote of the Week):
  “No one need ever be ashamed of fingernails made dirty by a hard day’s work.” – Linus [01:01:55]
  “That's so true. Right? So it's like, you know what? All of our bumps and bruises and things come from living a life well, so don't be embarrassed by it. Lean into it.” – Patty

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Celebration & Word of the Year: 00:00 – 05:38
• Product Recommendation (Breakfast Favorite): 06:00 – 12:00
• Organizing Notes with an ADHD Brain (and ChatGPT tips): 14:50 – 24:00
• FOFO Explained & Medical Examples: 25:39 – 34:00
• ADHD-Specific Experiences of FOFO: 35:00 – 41:00
• Strategies for Overcoming FOFO: 44:00 – 56:00
• Personal Stories: Social Invitations: 56:00 – 59:30
• Book of the Week: 59:45
• Quote of the Week: 01:01:55
• Closing: 01:02:30

Additional Highlights

• Book of the Week: Say You'll Remember Me by Abby Menes. Patty enjoyed this light romance and is looking forward to the sequel. [59:45]
• Energy & Entry Points: Emphasizes finding strategies that feel “sparkly” or energizing for you.
• Community Invitation: Encourages listeners to share their own experiences and strategies around fear of finding out.

Takeaways for ADHD Listeners

• FOFO is common, especially among ADHDers, but can be addressed through self-compassion, incremental planning, and embracing support/accountability.
• Look for tools and routines that work with your natural tendencies (visual, tactile, social) rather than against them.
• Celebrate your small wins—every “bit of gold” matters!

Patty closes with encouragement to recognize the evidence of your efforts and not to be ashamed of the signs of a life well-lived. Until next time—Tally Ho!