B (6:00)

Yes.

A (6:00)

And engaging. Because we all, you know, have ADHD to varying degrees in my family. So if I have to like get out a sheet of paper and start like, okay, first, like, it does it. It just was not right. It will not stand up. So I picked this on her recommendation. The game itself is where I wrote the cost. That's what I'm looking for. Oh, here it is. I had to get the 12 player pack.

B (6:29)

Oh, so there's different.

A (6:30)

Yes, there's a six player pack. Oh, nice. That I didn't want because there were seven of us.

B (6:35)

Right.

A (6:35)

There's an eight player pack that I did want. The eight player pack was 31.99, but it was SOL and the 12 player pack was 44.99. To me, that's a pretty steep price for a game I wasn't sure if we were even gonna like as a family. And I have a lot of board games. So I was like, should I just dust something off that we've, you know, tried and true play before, But I just really wanted something new. I was just not feeling it to go back to the well and play something we played multiple times. So I took a chance. I got the 12 player game. I don't regret it because the weather thing that Linda said was over the years. Pardon me while I grab my playing piece. How the little notepads get kind of gray.

B (7:19)

Oh, sure.

A (7:20)

So here's, here's what it comes with 12 of these little notepads. And when you get it, you write your name. Oops, there's a little glare. You write your name here. You get 12 little dry erase markers with the little eraser on it. Very handy. And the 12 pack comes with an extra set. We didn't even open it yet. Of playing cards. You get double the number of prompts that. Easy as pie. I have to tell you, it was a huge hit. We didn't have to. Some games, like, you literally have to like everybody, like pull a chair up to the table and you know, like spread everything out. We sat around the sofa. Love it.

B (7:59)

So you're nice and cozy.

A (8:00)

We had snacks all around the coffee table. Oh, yeah. There was like completely no setup. You just pass the little sketchbooks around. You write your name on it. You, when you open it up to the page, you write down. Everybody gets their own card. And so I'm going to share one example. I don't have the pictures anymore because unfortunately they all listened to me and erase them. And I didn't think about it till afterwards that I'm like, it would have been really funny to show the pictures. Yeah. But I'm going to use the example. Oh, gosh. What was it? The. Oh, donut. Okay, so. Oh, no, I'm sorry, it wasn't done. It was Taco. Taco, yeah. So whatever your word is, everybody has their own card. There's a number of choices on each card. You pick the one that you want to draw. The worse you draw, the better. So I had to tell people that when we started because I did read that in the description because I draw, I draw like a 5 year old. I've never. My skills have not. So it's actually better if you draw worse. And it's very much like the game Telephone, except instead of whispering in the person's ear, you're drawing it and passing it over. So my husband had taco and he was stink to my right. So he wrote on the prompt taco. So I see Taco. Yeah. I turn the page when he hands it to me and I sketch it. And here's what was lovely. The directions are up top. So it says flip back to the previous page and look at what the prompt is. Yeah, Draw it. Turn the page forward. For the person to guess it. So they go and they read theirs. And there says, turn it back to see what the picture is and write your guess here. So you're only looking at the previous person's prompt. Yeah. And. Or drawing anytime. So he got the word taco. He sketched it, gave it to me. I looked at his drawing. I did not see a taco. Now, usually it gets worse as it goes around. It doesn't usually go completely off track. The very first person that looks at the picture, I'm looking at it, and it looked like a sperm bank. Like a sperm pool, actually. It looked like a little, like, petri dish with a cutout. And he had all these, like, dots in it. And I was like, sperm pool. So I wrote. So I wrote sperm pool, passed it to the next person. Right. So you flip forward. It always tells you flip because you don't want people to see your picture as you're passing it. So I flipped it and passed it to my daughter, who is really good at drawing where she looks at what I wrote. And she's like, okay. She drew a beautiful sperm pool. Of course she did. So we went through, all of us and ended with sperm pool because everybody else was really good at drawing this. And when. And so it ends, the game ends when it's back to the original person's book whose name is on it. And so then we just went through. And Mark says, my husband's like, my word was taco. And we're all dying because I. I was like, possibly a taco. So it's super easy. And then after each turn, you just go with your little eraser and race and you pick another card to do it. But there's a couple of variations where you can challenge. And everybody tried to draw the same picture. There's different things. We played the traditional, just everybody get a card and everybod pick. And everybody wanted a different card every time. And there was plenty of cards to do that. So it was super fun to see what people came up with and why. I'm glad I bought the 12 pack. Yeah. The more people you play with, the funnier it is because it's just like telephone. Yeah. If you're only playing with six people, there's a decent chance only three of you are drawing. There's a decent chance it's not going to get too derailed. Right.

B (11:37)

Outlandish.

A (11:38)

So I highly recommend this game. It's my product of the week. If you're looking. Does that sound like a game that you would enjoy? Because Becca Was saying that she doesn't like games that put her under pressure, like on the spot.

B (11:48)

I think it's also, I'm not a very competitive person.

A (11:51)

I feel like there's no winner, right? There's no winner.

B (11:54)

One wins.

A (11:55)

Exactly. Yeah. There's literally, there's no points. There's nothing to keep up with. It's just about fun game like that.

B (12:01)

Because there's not that pressure or the competitiveness that I think ruins a lot.

A (12:05)

That was why I picked it because, you know, holidays, everybody. I'm like, yeah, I want a game that it's not so much about the outcome as it is about the experience. And this is exactly that. So Telestrations Highly recommend. That is my product of the week.

B (12:20)

Love it.

A (12:20)

I was really excited to share that. When you told me about your game experience, I thought, I wonder if this would be a game that would prove that you do like some board games. Okay, now for my tip for this week. And my tip is I just said I'm going to do it next week. It's this week. It's my one word thing. That's my tip. Okay, good. I'm like, I literally, when I said that, I thought, am I waiting until next week to share that? Why would I wait? No, I'm excited. So. So that's where I ordered a charm to go on my necklace that I keep adding charms to each year that tie to my one word theme. So my tip is to pick a one word theme for 2026. It's a touchstone. It's a way to reconnect to your intentions, what you're trying to focus on throughout the year. So it's a very easy, I find it very sparkly way to give you some structure and direction. I've done this for the last literally 10 to 12 years now. And I have found that having a one word theme, I don't think of it every day as the year goes on, I think of it. I hit like a lull like in July, August, September, where it's almost like I don't remember what a word of the year is or what I was doing with it. But inevitably I find the necklace works really well. People always comment on my necklace and they'll say, oh, what is that? And I'm like, oh, that's right. And. And because this year's was Snoopy, I got more comments than ever. Because. Was Snoopy? Yeah. And I was like, oh, yeah. Because my worth issue was dare and I picked Snoopy as the World War I flying ace. So cute. Like being so daring and I just thought it was funny and had a little like humor to it and it just really helped me to stay connected to and return to it more throughout the year. Some of my other word one word things besides dare, which was 2025, I've had implement where I tried to. And I have like little gears on my, I just leave them on every year I keep adding one. I have balance. Where I remember I had like a giant scale that I had out that was like a lawyer's office kind of like the, the scale of judgment kind of thing or justice. I've had brave. I've had a lot of good words. But this year right now, this is what I'm feeling. Sometimes I change it but I'm feeling like this is my word. My word this year is forward. I like it because it, I like words that have like multiple interpret interpretations. So it's like forward motion, moving forward, looking forward. So it's kind of like a growth progress, you know, intentional about keep going regardless of if you're not seeing evidence. It's like when I think of my business I'm like, sometimes I'm like is this working? I don't know. It's like just keep throwing things at it and keep moving forward. Keep, keep doing it. So I picked forward and my charm that I ordered from Etsy is an arrow and I picked the one I picked because it hangs most of them they would, they had like the little loop to hang from the tail so it was like pointing down. I needed to point up so it's like the image. So this one had a, a loop at the top of the arrow and it's gold. So I'm thinking it's going to stand out because none of mine are gold. So I got it from Etsy and it's supposed to arrive Etsy. Sometimes the shipping takes a while so it won't arrive for a couple of weeks. So you won't see it for a couple of weeks. But I'll definitely highlight it once it comes in. So if this idea interests you to use a one word theme to guide your year with a little bit more ease. Picking a word is the first step. So just notice you know what words resonate with you. What are you drawn towards energetically and then once you pick your word, how do you remember it? So what prompts will you need? When I was looking, I tend to like on look to like to look on Etsy for this kind of thing. I found all these tote bags with arrows and I decided to, you know, stop buying things and just start with the arrow and see if I need more. But I also printed out a little image of move forward arrows that you'll find like on floors, you know, different things. And I just have it on my, my monitor. I just taped it on my computer monitor on the bottom of it, so I'll see it. So think about what word will serve you and then how you'll visually prompt yourself to remember that that's the word that you picked. Notice how it helps you to connect to your theme throughout the year and if you would like to share your experience with one word themes or other ways that you've noticed help you stay connected to it, if you've tried it before or even what your one word theme is this year. This is episode 221. Would love to hear everybody's one word themes because I find them very sparkly. All right, now for our main topic for today. And it's motivation is not the problem. It's not. So it's not. I have like all caps isn't. But if you have ADHD brain wiring, you've probably felt like you can't make yourself do something from time to time or maybe a lot of the time you're not lazy. You have ADHD brain wiring that relies on dopamine to create that motivation, that, that ability to do things. So motivation with ADHD is more about the dopamine than it is the willpower. So we're going to talk about what to do about it. If that's, you know, I always say, like, we don't want it as an excuse, like, oh, I'm not motivated, so I'm not doing that. It's really about understanding why you're not motivated and finding strategies that work for you and your brain to create that motivation that you need if it's something that you're trying to do but just can't get off the starting block because our ADHD brains are understimulated, we have a higher need for novelty and stimulation. So I always say when I'm working with my clients, our brain will get the stimulation it needs, regardless of whether it's positive or negative. So we'll argue with people, we'll scroll on social media. When you think about people that are like just constantly doing things that are really dangerous, it's that hit of dopamine. It's so much fuels the brain, right? The brain needs it. So we're looking for ways to get it. So I always want to look for what can we do that serves you in a way that is healthy and can be repeatable so that it's not getting in the way of your relationship, it's not endangering your life. And there's things that we can do that create dopamine that, you know, maybe are a little challenging or a little scary, but not, you know, like, I'm not like, jumping out of an airplane. Some people do, and I know they've done it thousands of times and they've been fine. I guarantee, if I did it, I'd be dead. I would die from a heart attack on the way down. It wouldn't matter about the chute. Even if I opened the chute first, I'd probably still be dead by the time I hit the ground. I'd be like, her chute worked. What happened? She died midair. Yeah. So when our brains are under stimulated and we have low levels of dopamine, we don't recognize the task as being rewarding. So it's like we're looking at it. Like, I always think of the dishwasher. You guys. If you've listened to a lot of these episodes, you know, the dishwasher is like the bane of my chore list. And it's like, oh, my gosh, like, the idea of taking the same dishes out, putting them in the same places, I just can't stand it. It does not give me any satisfaction except that it's done when it's done. I do not enjoy it. We also don't respond as well to the urgency of the task necessarily like other people will. We need it to be like life or death. Or it's getting to that point where it's like, oh, my gosh, this is. You know. But. But it's a fine line because, I mean, it overwhelmed and shut down. So our brain isn't rewarding as much, and we're not seeing the task as being rewarding. So it really deprioritizes it and makes it hard to motivate ourselves. Remember, I'm gonna say it again. It's not due to laziness. So many of us get this dialogue, or we'll have people tell us, stop being so lazy. Get up and do something. It's like, well, okay, but I've been sitting here trying to talk myself into getting up for the last three hours. It's exhausting. So the struggle is real. I mean, it's. It's. But it's hard because somebody will say it. We're like, yeah, I know. I really should get up and do something. What the hell? Sorry, what the heck's going on with me? It's really about the task, not activating our reward system. And we need to find ways to create some interest there so that we're triggering the motivation. One thing I found in my research that I wanted to highlight here is that motivation and ADHD fluctuates and it's less stable. So because it's dependent on the available level of dopamine, we have to think about, is the task we're trying to do novel? Is it interesting? And if it's not, that's what we're going to target. Okay. Our brains are energy seekers. We're looking for those things that are going to, like, fire up our brain instead of leaving it kind of sluggish without any gas. So we're looking at things that we're pursuing to stimulate our brains. So if a task is boring and the brain is not motivated to do the thing we're trying to do, we need to recognize we're not lazy. It's. Our dopamine system is not engaged. What can I do to engage that? So we need to shift our mindset from, I just need to make myself do this again. That puts you right back on the sofa for three hours. Like, that's not changing the narrative. It's shifting it to what can I do to inject interest here or novelty. Right. Those. Those. Think. Think back to icnup. The icnup. Interest, Novelty, challenge, urgency, and passion. Where we can. So here are some strategies. And of course, the first one is icnup. So interest equals novelty. To get our brain interested, add something creative. Add something unexpected. I've talked about how with my dishwasher, I'll race myself. I'll race another kid doing a chore. I will put on a song and try to finish before it's over. I'll empty it from bottom to top, top to bottom, back, front, front, back. Like, I. I'll do all of these different things.

B (22:24)

Try it.

A (22:26)

Sometimes I'll just buy, like, one individual, sparkly little bowl at an estate sale or something, because I find it so sparkly that there's something new that's clean in the dishwasher. It creates interest. So just think about what you can do. So I have an example that just happened over the break, and it was my bathroom. I, like, literally. You ever, like, walk into a room and you suddenly see it with eyes of somebody else coming into the bathroom? Yeah. It's like, I always think of it as, like, walking through it with, like, a real estate agent's. Eyes. And I'm like, oh, my God. Like, how did this happen? Like, it looks like a tornado went through our bathroom. And the problem was I couldn't clean. Like, the sinks had, like, you know, hair and toothpaste stuck. And I couldn't get to anything on the counters because they were covered with curling iron. Makeup, I mean, everything. Like. Like hairspray. Yeah. All over the place. I was like, okay, that's overwhelming. And I hate cleaning the counters to begin with because it's kind of hard to get behind the faucet in between. I have like a separate, like, hot and cold water. So it's like, it's like fussy to get in between and clean them between that and the stopper thing. So I had to create some interest. I realized when I was working in my office over the break that I had a Mrs. Meyers spray cleaner that I forgot I had. It's safe for most, you know, tile and countertops. Yeah. And it smells lovely, but not chemically. I have no idea. I think it's just a regular Mrs. Meyer Street. I don't. I wouldn't buy something with a specific scent, so I think it's whatever the generic original scent is. Love it. And I brought a folding table up, so I've. I've shared. You know, my bathroom isn't huge, but it's big enough for like, a yoga mat. Yes. Because that's where I do my yoga. So I had this thought of, I have a, like, medium sized, like about the width of a. And length of a yoga mat folding table in the garage. Because where do you put things when you're cleaning off a counter in the bathroom?

B (24:41)

On the floor or in your, like, separate room?

A (24:44)

Yeah. It's a pain in the butt. So I thought, why don't you just bring up the sparkly spray and unfold the folding table and set it up so you have a flat surface to put things on. It was so motivating. Once I did that, I cleaned out everything. I mean, I spent like four hours going through my husband's cabinet cleaning like, like, everything. I got everything, everything out. So I decided what will go back in. I got the label maker, which, when you use it, you'll notice there's clear labels in there now because I didn't want the white ones because the clear ones look nicer. And I had like, you know, oral care with, like, the toothbrushes, the flossers, the mouthwash, you know, everything just all in one shelf with a label. Because remember, with labels, we're Less likely to deviate from what it's designated for. I'm telling you, I got into this. It was crazy how much energy it gave me. Instead of just taking things off and wiping it down, I took things off and I was like, do I really need, like, all this stuff is all over the place because I have so much stuff crammed in the storage spaces I have that I can't put the rest of it away. Yeah. So it was really, really, really motivating. And I still. It's definitely. It's been over a week, and I still go in that. I still wipe out the sink every day. I can. I can. As I'm done in the morning, I make sure there's no, like, water drops or anything. Still, I wipe everything down. So it created all that interest. We don't have to go crazy to create interest. It's what creates interest for your brain. For me, the ease of having a flat surface to organize on was very sparkly. My label machine up there, I had a pair of scissors to cut the labels with to make sure I was, like, dialed in. I was so happy. Okay, number two, reward. What you're trying to do. Build in a reward. So pair a task with a reward. Remember, rewards activate the reward system of brain, which is where we're getting the dopamine. So something as simple as a checklist. And I did. I brought up my little folding whiteboard.

B (26:43)

Oh, love it.

A (26:44)

Because there was so many things all over the place, I realized I wrote down all the different areas. I figured out how many shelves my husband had, what things he used most. So I had to prioritize what. Where the shelves going to be designated for, because I didn't want a shelf that had multiple things on it, because I know that typically doesn't work for our brains. So it was very specifically organized. So I wrote it all down, and then I checked things off as I found homes for the things I was working on. So it was very sparkly to see the progress you were making. Even as I was deciding, I was like, okay, but wait, if I put those there? It was like realizing, well, that would be better in a shelf where he has two drawers I could have used. And I was like, but I think this is a shelf item more. It's like I moved things around as I was, like, trying it out. But it was very sparkly to see my progression list. So that something as simple as that is rewarding because you're. See, you're getting that little gold star. You know, they'll check for finishing Something. Or maybe it's as simple as having coffee to sip while you're doing something. If you have to like go online and pay bills or respond to an email, something like music. Coffee can be rewarding. So it doesn't have to be a physical, tangible thing. Although it could be. If I knew I was going to spend four hours cleaning the bathroom, I probably would have been like, I'm going to go get Dairy Queen when I'm treating myself. But I didn't go into it knowing that. And so it didn't feel like I needed to build a new reward because once I started, I was so into it. Okay, the next tip is to chunk it down. So again, if you even take my bathroom for an example, I was only planning on wiping off the counter. So my initial goal would have been, okay, bring up the folding table, put everything on the counters on the table, wipe the table, like literally step by step, wipe the counters off, clean the sinks, clean the faucets, put things back, like break it down. Don't just clean the bathroom. Clean the bathroom is a big task. And it's like every time I see something that's kind of a project task or like a umbrella task that has a lot of steps, I get overwhelmed. Right. So having it chunked down into ADHD friendly pieces is what it's all about. Celebrate progress. If you don't finish, like many times when I clean my bathroom, I will only clean part of the counter, right. Not the whole thing. I certainly will not go into drawers or into the cabinets. Right. It's like I'm just going to do like visibly what's overwhelming me. So do what you can, but break it down to make it manageable. Number four, boost your dopamine before you start. So I always think of this as like the cars in the driveway and there's no gas or like, you know, comparing it to your brain, there's no dopamine, so there's no gas in your brain to go. You can like go sit in the car, but if nobody puts gas in it, you're not going, you're not going anywhere. So you're just kind of like, nice car. This is, this is, you know, this is sweet. Yeah. But, yeah, so fuel your brain with a dopamine boost before you start. And the way you do that is moving. So just physical movement increases your dopamine and your norepinephrine releasing those neurochemicals that are all about that positive boost in your brain. So you can do that, just put on some high energy music that's my default go to. I will be sitting and if I just start playing music, I have no expectation of doing anything. I can't help it. I'm like, oh. Like all of a sudden I'm thinking like, oh, this is good. Okay, what do I. What was it gonna do? Like I just suddenly am moving and I'm going to do something intentionally. Go walk outside. Take yourself to a different space. Don't just stay in the space and expect yourself to magically get an energy injection. That's not going to happen. Move yourself to a different location. Outside would be ideal because it, you know, research does show that the being out in nature gives you that boost as well. So it's like a double. You've moved and you've put yourself in a location that's going to fire up your brain or something. Like just sit and do some sit ups, push ups. Something that physically I like to go up and down the stairs a couple of times. It just gets me going. Number five, Gamify it. Turn your task in the game. So kind of like I talked about with the dishwasher, I'm racing myself. You can reward yourself with points, you can reward streaks. Rewards equal dopamine. So think about, what is that for you? Gamifying it is another way to do it. Remember, motivation is not equivalent to willpower. Use the ICNUP acronym IC N to get your brain engaged. Remember, I is interest, C. I'm like literally pitching the word of my C is challenge or competition, N is novelty or new, U is urgency and P is passionate. And then just ask yourself, what would work for me? What motivates me isn't necessarily going to motivate you or anyone else. We are very much unique individuals and our brain is the same. So work with what you know works for you. What pulls you in. We don't want to push ourselves. We want something to pull us into it. And if work, what works for you is accountability. If that creates the spark, the interest, ask for accountability where it feels like a good fit for you. If you want to share what works for you again, this is episode 222. Would love to hear it. Oh, my gosh, Becca, this is turning into a really long episode. It was my telestration story. All right, really quickly to wrap it up. My book of the week is Best offer Wins. Have you heard of this?

B (31:59)

No.

A (31:59)

You're gonna want to read. Is by Marissa Casino. Yeah, I'm saying that right? Yeah. I gave this three and a half out of five stars. It was very Good. But I thought it was a romance. I don't know why. I just thought it was going to be like a woman like housing, house hunting, maybe with like a real estate guy that she meets while house sitting. No, it was very stressful about the multiple offers on every single house. And the woman who is house hunting is downright crazy. Oh gosh. So I mean like crazy what she's doing to try to get her dream home, like off the charts. So it's a definite thriller, suspense, murder, like it's everything. I just wasn't expecting that. But it did keep me interested. I was just like, oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. So that is the book for the week. And now for the quote. This week's quote is from James Clear and my. One of my go to's and he says, your goal in life should be to reduce the amount of time it takes you to get out of a bad situation state. I love that. So when you think, when you're in a funk, when you're in a bad mood, your goal should be to reduce the amount of time that you stay there. I love that. Especially if you're someone. I mentioned this to one of my best friends who used to be able to really hold a grudge, like a pro. And she's really worked on it over the years and that's why I shared it because I'm like, you've really worked on getting yourself out of that state. And I appreciate it because I never deal well with conflict. So it was always like, okay, are you still bad? When. When James Clear said this, he said his wife said to him, this is his wife. So I'm not saying this is what I subscribe to, but I thought it was a funny way of thinking about it. She said, when you're five, you can stay mad for a day. When you're 10, you can be mad for an hour. By the time you're 30, you get 10 minutes and then you have to move on. That can be hard for a lot of people with adhd. But I like the I love specific kind of examples to give a barometer of. Okay, you don't get to be mad all day long because I left the garage door open or who knows what, I don't know. But you get 10 minutes, you get 10 minutes, go vent, go whatever, and then move on. Yeah, right. No, I don't tend to stay angry. So this isn't a me thing very much. It's pretty rare for me to stay angry, but I like the idea of framing it in. I like that. Okay, what do I need to do to move on? Right?

B (34:33)

Or maybe to be able to be like. You can give yourself 10 minutes, and then.

A (34:37)

Yeah. And if you haven't moved on after 10 minutes, what do you need to do to support yourself to move on? Because how we get better at this is learning what works for us to be able to move on. Remember, it's always about learning what works for your brain. That's it for this episode. Thanks so much for checking it out. I hope you found something useful and leave whatever you didn't behind until next time. Tally ho.