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Hi and welcome to ADHD Friendly. I am Patty. I am an ADHD and executive function coach and I welcome you here to episode 248 where I'm going to be sharing the secret to ADHD routines that work. So just a quick overview, I'm going to kick us off, as always, with a personal celebration and then I am going to share a tip which is about how to schedule an ADHD admin hour, something just for your brain. And then I will share our main topic around routines that actually do work for those of us with adhd. And then of course, I will share my book of the week. But let's jump in to start off with my celebration and that is that I am now offering consultations. So this is something that I have done in the past and I've moved away from, not really intentionally, just had other things I was working on and just, you know, it was one of those things that just kind of slowly faded. And I've had more people reaching out and not necessarily looking for ongoing coaching, but looking to have a conversation to get some support around one specific thing. So I've put some structure around this and I am introducing three different consultation options and these are available on my website if you want to check it out. ADHD friendly.com the first is an ADHD Clarity consultation where it's a chance if you've just been diagnosed recently or you're not quite sure what's going on, that ADHD is impacting in your life and you want to kind of talk it through and get a clearer sense of what is impacting you specifically. That is a great option. I also have, that's a 60 minute call and, or a zoom call. And the next option is a strategy session. So this is up to 90 minutes and it's a deeper working session where we're going to tackle one specific thing that you're really struggling with and come up with an action plan that you can immediately put in place. And then the third consultation type is for families. So if you are raising a child with adhd, you are a parent with ADHD or maybe you are a partner to somebody that has ADHD or you have ADHD yourself and you're navigating a relationship, if you're looking to support yourself or somebody in your family with ADHD and you want some guidance on how to better set yourselves up to do that, this is a great option that also is a 90 minute, up to 90 minutes on Zoom. So if one of these sound like what you might need, you can learn More and schedule directly, directly through my website. There's also a link in the show notes if you want to take a, a look at that and see if that might be a good fit for where you are right now in your life. All right, now to tip for this week and that is to schedule an admin Life hour. So an ADHD hour specifically dedicated to your administrative life. So kind of getting things set up to support yourself. It came across this, this idea from Real Simple Magazine for the, the idea of a admin hour. And I think, you know, as always, I try to bring that ADHD lens to it. And so I thought, oh, an ADHD specific life admin hour would be really interesting. So I personally have an administrator hour or you know, day actually for my business where I really focus on Mondays. I've carved them out, I protect them as much as I possibly can. And I love it. I love Mondays. I wake up, I don't have anything scheduled with somebody. I don't do clients on Mondays. I don't schedule intakes or meet and greet calls. Consultations, if you look at my calendar, will not be offered on Mondays. Mondays are blocked for me to do my administrative work. And because they're protected, I love Mondays. I don't even dread Mondays anymore because I know it's a chance for me to get those admin things all finished and set myself up for the rest of the week. I know it's a time where I'll have a chance to do a deep dive into those things that I ordinarily would resist doing. And for me, it's a game changer that I, I learned this early on when I started my business that I really needed some of that uninterrupted time that I could just do a dive into, you know, writing things, creating slides, troubleshooting issues, editing different ads and you know, my website tools. I'm working on, whatever it is. So this article that I read about shared that they liked an admin Life hour, right? So one hour devoted to your life, which can be really helpful when you think about getting those things done. Like catching up on emails, responding to texts. If you still like write out handwritten thank you notes, but you, you know, they're kind of piling up or somebody's birthday is coming up and you've been meaning to send them out, you know, a little message or maybe you were going to send an E gift card and it's just always something you mean to do and you've had a hard time getting around to doing it. So in The Real simple. Excuse me. In the Real simple article, they shared that they schedule a weekly Life admin hour on Monday evenings because they're. This is what made me think of this because their term was that Monday's the worst day anyway, so just tack it onto the end of the day and then it's behind you and you don't have to do it anymore for the next six nights. I knew immediately that wouldn't work for a lot of us with adhd because if we just try to do more on an day that is low energy for us or not the best day for us, it isn't really setting ourselves up to win there. So I thought of some structure to play with if this idea is sparkly to you, but you want to do it your way in a way that works for you. So if the Monday evening does sound like a great time to experiment with, great. What I would encourage you to think about is what's the best time for you to do this? So I'm going to put some structure around this. So first is what to include. Like, what would you do with an admin hour? And as I shared, it might be a chance to catch up on correspondence of different types. Maybe you have forms that you need to handle. If you have kids and they bring things home from school that you need to fill out, having a weekly time set to do that is, is a kind of set it and forget it way to put it in the pile. I'll do that, you know, when I, when I do my admin hour. Maybe it's when you do your grocery online or you schedule your personal appointment. So if you're like, oh, you know, I need to get my hair or my nails done or my physical whatever, you're, you're looking at what's coming up for the next week. And I'm going to schedule those things. Maybe you're going to work out carpool details or you're going to plan your meals, make reservations. Whatever it is, it's a chance for you to do all of these little household administrative tasks. So not chores, admin tasks to help you feel grounded and ready for the week ahead. So that's the first thing defining what you'll do during that time. The second is what's the best time for you? So instead of shooting for a time that others recommend, maybe starting by asking yourself what would be the best time for me to do this? And it might vary week to week, but the things that we do most consistently are the things that we find a time that works Generally right. So not perfectly, but generally so it might be, you know what I I'm going to shoot for Sunday mornings or Sunday afternoons. Maybe not Sunday at 7am or 10am if that's too constrictive, but giving yourself a block that feels like it would work with what your rhythms are in your life. Maybe it's Monday mornings while you're having coffee, or Friday before you leave work. So that's the second part. Just ask what the best time for you? What's the most likely time for you to be able to do this? And then the third and final tip is just make it easy to remember what you've decided. So write down, capture when you're going to do it and what it is you're going to do. Right. So what you've decided to do cover during your admin hour. Maybe you put a repeat calendar reminder. And I love calendar reminders for notes. For me, calendar reminders often, especially if I'm doing something on the weekend, are not going to get noticed. So I might schedule it with a little note, but then maybe I'll set an audible alarm so I'll hear it or and have you know it labeled like, you know, ADHD life, admin time. And then I have my calendar with the notes in it to remind me what I'm doing. Maybe pair it with something enjoyable like you're going to have your favorite beverage like the Monday morning coffee, or maybe you're going to play music that you enjoy or you're going to do it in a cozy seat with your, your, your, your snuggly blanket. Yeah, there's something that makes it sparkly for you. So the idea is really to stop kind of trying to hold all of this information in your head or have it pile up and keep getting delayed and pushed. And just to put some structure on the idea of an ongoing life admin hour to free up the mental space and give yourself a designated time to focus on it and then appreciate what you get from doing it. So notice like, oh, does it free up that space to know, oh yeah, I'm going to put that there. That's when I'll do that. You know, at the time every week I do it. So you're opening up space for other things by taking care of the thing that didn't have specific time to be tackled before. All right, now for our main topic. And that is the secret to ADHD routines that actually stick. So this month inside my ADHD friendly membership, we are creating systems for success. So it's all about how to create systems that set ourselves up for success. And one key thing I shared during my first Friday webinar this month was the difference between goals, routines and systems. So goals are the outcome you're you're striving for. So it might be, I want to be exercising regularly this year, that that's an outcome, that's something you want to achieve. The routine is the repeated behavior that's going to lead to that. So it might be, okay, so I'm going to walk daily. Like what does that look like in reality? I want to be walking daily. And then the system is literally the structures that make that routine easier to do and to sustain. So it's maybe like I put my shoes by the front door to visually prompt me and remind me, oh, you're going to go for your walk. So with ADHD routines, we are much more likely to stick to them when we reduce the friction to engage with them. So if we minimize the number of steps, if we reduce the number of decisions we have to make, if we make things, insight in mind, when I call ism, instead of out of sight, out of mind, if we make sure that they're sustainable. So if I'm like, I'm going to walk an hour every day and I don't have the capacity to walk an hour every day, I'm setting myself up to be in a very all or nothing like up. I tried it, it didn't work. Instead of saying, you know what, even on my absolute worst day, I can walk for two minutes, I can walk out to the mailbox, I can walk around when I'm walking the dogs, I can walk for two minutes outside that I can sustain, I can walk more. But if I have that low resistance, it's key, so sustainable and not a lot of maintenance to keep up with it. So these are how we reduce the friction. And the secret is to build those routines that can survive your low energy non ideal days. We tend to picture our best selves and plan for that. What we need to do to make it sustainable and successful is plan for our low energy self and then do what you can, if you can do more than that. So in my two minute example, if I've got my shoes on and I'm feeling good, I'm going to keep walking. I do the two minutes as a minimum, but I can keep going because the goal is consistency, not to do it perfectly every time. So reduce the amount of executive functioning needed to begin. So I love the idea of piggybacking onto a routine that's already there. So when X happens, I'll do Y. So for example, while the dogs are outside, I will walk up and down the driveway. Or if I'm trying to go for my walk, maybe when the dogs are eating, I put on my shoes, right? So it's like the if then go to. It's when I do this, I then do this. If you want to try this in real life, it might be asking yourself, what is the system that would make this easier to do? Even when my energy is low, my newest little tweak, you know, like when I just talked about with the dogs would be like moving the shoes instead of putting them in front of the door because they're nowhere near where I'm feeding the dogs. Putting the shoes in front of the dog food bin. So they're catching my eye. It's like, why are my shoes here? Oh, that's right. I'm putting them on while they're eating and then I just sit down and I put my shoes on while they're finishing their breakfast. So again, we're targeting how to make it sustainable even when our motivation and energy are low is the key. So I wanted to share some strategies to implement this in your own life. Again, take what works for you. Leave. Leave whatever doesn't resonate behind. It's about noticing what's sparkly and pulling you forward and not expecting you to push yourself towards something. So the first strategy is to use anchors instead of set times. So like I just shared with the ADHD Life admin hour, it might be more helpful to have Anchorage anchor like, I'll do this Monday morning with coffee instead of I'll do this Monday morning at 9am so it might be instead of 9am, I'll do this after breakfast. So after I eat. So it's more reliable than a specific time because it gets us out of that all or nothing. Like, oh, I didn't start by 9, I'll try again tomorrow. It's no, I just said I do it whenever I finish breakfast, whatever time that is. The second strategy is to build that minimum version. So again, instead of walking for an hour or 30 minutes, put on my shoes and walk two minutes to get the mail. I can do that even on my lowest energy day. Number three, reduce friction. So we talked a little bit about friction already. So think about minimizing the number of steps required. So if your goal is to be taking your your medication consistently. Consistently. And you have it in a cabinet, that requires you to open the cabinet and remember to open the cabinet and get it out of the cabinet. Maybe you just put it next to your coffee make maker. It's there, you see it and you're prompted. Or maybe you leave your planner open on the kitchen counter so that it you don't have to open it and find the page it's already open to, the page you need to look at. Your workout clothes are maybe set out the night before so when you wake up they're ready to go. Instead of that being one more thing you need to do before you can go work out. Or maybe just having like a little basket or a bin to drop your mail in when you bring it in. So it's where you would maybe naturally pile it on the counter, but now you've got a little bin to put it in that when it's filled it's that, oh, you know, or when it's, you know, already piling up but you want to have a place that it naturally is getting placed and maybe even sorting through. Yeah, I love like when I put my mail in my bin, I like to put it according to do I need to look at this or do I want to look at this? Is it like, oh, it's a magazine I want to get to or it's a bill, something I'm going to need to pay attention to that's going to go in front. So just think about what will thus in the steps. Because if I have to go through a pile of mail I will resist that because I don't know what's in it. But if I already kind of sorted it in a bin that makes sense to me, that helps me to go back and revisit it when I need to. The fourth tip is to keep it insight in mind. So remember ISM is my acronym for that. So really about creating visual prompts and cues. So maybe a checklist or a post it that's very intentional. So we don't want a million post its that look like wallpaper. We want intentional post its where they will prompt our brain. So maybe it's on the door saying, you know, put on your shoes, go for a walk or in the car to remind you to get your prescription on the way home or you know, wherever like on their bathroom mirror to remind you to take your medicine, something that's going to visually prompt you and in a key place so it's not wallpaper. Or maybe it's open storage that you visually can see like the bin for the mail or a visual timer or analog clocks that help you be more connected to the passage of time. Because remember, we're very time blind with adhd, so having that external concrete visual timekeeper is really a tool that supports our brain to be aware of time and how much time has passed. And then the last tip is to expect interruptions. We again, we tend to plan for Even when I talked about my Monday admin days for my business, I tend to plan for this beautifully uninterrupted space of time. And most Mondays happen in exactly that way, but not always. And keeping in mind that when you plan for an imperfect day, when you fall off, you can get back on more easily because you've got your minimum version. So if we go back to the the I'm planning on walking minimum of two minutes. If I'm planning that every time, like no problem. But if it's 95 degrees outside, it creates urgency for me to do it first thing in the morning. Or if it's going to rain later that day, it's helping me to remember like, okay, the day is going to be interrupted. Like when I would ideally do this isn't going to be the best time. Like if I get up and it's pouring rain, well then I might not want to do my two min minutes right then. But if it's going to rain all day, I'm going to grab an umbrella and just do my two minutes. So expect those interruptions. Expect things not to go exactly to plan so that you can restart with your minimum version. Remember, successful ADHD routines are going to work on your low energy, low motivation days because they're built to support that. They have support, flexibility and customization in place so your brain isn't doing the heavy lifting to get started. It is supported by the environment that you created to set it up. All right, finally it is our book of the week and it is a good one, guys. Kin by Tayari Jones I hope I said your name right, Terry. Kin focuses on two women, Vernice and Annie, whose lives are intertwined with identity, family secrets, and the lasting impact of growing up without mothers. I started reading this on my way to Ireland. It was an ebook I had from the library that I downloaded before I left. I was looking forward to enjoying this on my train rides in Ireland and and bus tours in Ireland because there was a lot of things we were doing that were two hours long to get to the the location we were going to, but it was so stinking pretty in Ireland I didn't want to look down at my book. I was looking out the window all the time, no matter where we went, everything was so stunning and there were so many sheep and lambs. It was just so pretty that I didn't finish it before the book went away. In the magic of ebooks, as libraries do, when it's due, it just goes away. And I re requested it and it said it would be three to four weeks before I would get the next available copy. And that was not okay because I was into it enough that I wanted to find out what happened to Vernice and Annie. So I actually ordered my own copy, which I rarely do for fiction books because I don't reread a lot of fiction books. I typically only buy non fiction. And that is a testament to how much I love this book and wasn't willing to wait to find out what happened. So I gave this four and a half out of five stars. I loved this one, guys. So if you're looking for a good summer read, I highly recommend Kin by Tyeri Jones. All right, and finally my quote of the week. And this comes from a life hack from my 365 day life hack calendar. And the hack is if you want to stop yourself from crying, cough or continuously clear your throat. It's impossible to both cry and cough or continuously clear your throat at the same time. Who knew? And I wish I knew this a lot sooner. I'm gonna try this the next time I'm trying not to cry. I've had this come up in like job interviews where somebody's asking me a question. I remember this years ago when I was interviewing to be a teacher and I was talking about a student that I'd worked with, and I just got so emotional and I didn't want to get emotional. I would have loved to have known. Just coug a little bit. Give my. I. I just don't want to try this, but so this ties with my quote. And the quote is from Vernice from Kin, the book I just recommended. And Vernice in the book said, I knew my aunt didn't like crybabies, so I taught myself how to cry without water, which I thought was so, so sad. But I remember when I read it, I was like, well, how do you do that? How do you cry without water? And how hard must that have been for a child to teach them to help how to do this? But now I'm wondering, maybe she coughed. Although it did say it in the book and it wasn't a real person. But my life hack really did create some sparkle in my brain. And I'm curious if you've tried this before. You've heard this before and you've tried it. Please share your experience. I want to know if it works. This is episode 248. Post in the comments. I would love to hear your experience with if you need to, you know, try to stop yourself from crying in the moment. If that works. That's it for this episode, guys. Take what works for you. Leave the rest behind. And I hope you have a more ADHD friendly day today. I'll see you next time. Tally ho.