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- [00:01]
A
Hi, welcome to ADHD Friendly. I am Patti. I'm an ADHD and executive function coach, and I'm here to help you struggle less, thrive more. That's what ADHD Friendly is all about. If you would like additional support, more than I can offer in this YouTube channel and podcast, check out my website, ADHD Friendly.com. it's where adders get more things done. That was good. Bam. Okay, this is episode 239. And today I am celebrating a solo movie. I know. I'll tell you about it in a minute. It's a shocker for me, too. And then I have a tip about how to use your five senses to study and remember things more easily. And then I have a product of the week. You can see it. It's over here. But I'm super excited about it. And then my main topic for today is how to turn music into structure. So how to use it to help you do the things you're trying to do with a little bit more ease. And then, of course, I'll finish up with my book of the week. It is a five star out of five star. So, yeah, get ready because that is a rare thing for me. All right, so let's start, as we do, with my celebration. So, yeah, I went and saw a movie all by myself. First time in my life ever. It was actually a non. Like, it was so easy. I was shocked.
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B
Were you nervous?
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A
I was so nervous. I don't know if you remember, but I had this as a. I think a 25 in 2025 goal to go to one movie by myself. And I kept looking for a movie during the year that I could go see by myself, that I would be comfortable going to see by myself. And it just never happened. I remember I really tried. And then this year I decided I don't even care anymore. I'm not even putting it on my list. And so it wasn't something I was looking for. But what happened was the movie Michael about Michael Jackson, I really, really, really wanted to see. And I didn't realize the date came. Like, I saw previews when it first came out. I was super excited. And then one of my friends text me and they're like, oh, my gosh, I just saw Michael. It was amaz see. And I'm like, like, oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh, I missed it. Well, my husband had zero interest in going. Y My two kids were kind of like. And I. The day that I wanted to go, I didn't feel like I could at the last minute ask Anyone to go with me. Yeah. It just felt like I was like, I don't know if any, any of my friends here that I know, like Michael Jackson and you.
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B
I mean, I love Michael.
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A
My daughter was like, I'll go with you on Sunday. If you want to wait until. This was a. This was last Thursday. And I was like, I don't want to wait until Sunday. Like right now. I want to see it right now. And. And I also know sometimes that changes. Right. I may not feel like it on Sunday. She may not feel like it on Sunday. And I felt like movies seem to come out of the theaters really fast. They do. So I didn't want to risk not seeing in a theater because I felt like that was something I needed to see in the theater. And so I just thought, why don't you just go? And I did. And I got myself a soda and a popcorn, which was very indulgent. I decided in advance I'm going to treat myself and get my snacks solo. I can tell you what I learned is there's no discount for solo bundles. You like, you can get like a large popcorn and two drinks for, you know, like a lower price kind of thing. Yeah. No, no, no deals for the solo theater goer. So I was like, that felt a little disappointing. I thought I should get a little break for coming by myself. I should be encouraged to come by myself. I go by myself. I get this. But no, that, that wasn't the case. But I really enjoyed the movie. There were only two other people in the theater besides me and they were sitting behind me. So I felt like I was all alone. And they were an older couple, older than I am. And I was like, they probably grew up like watching like the Jackson 5, like when they were really, really young. And it was, I mean, it was okay. Like, I didn't like, oh my gosh.
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B
You know, he wasn't his nephew.
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A
Yeah. And he was really good. But I grew up. Like I saw him in concert, like more than once. Yeah. And so like there were parts of it that I was like, oh, yeah, I remember, like the re. Enactment of those scenes was really well done. Yeah. But he's not Michael. So I had this very strong awareness that I was watching somebody pretend to be Michael even though he was really good. Yeah. But it was, it was good. It was. But what I didn't know is it's a two parter, so.
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B
So you must.
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A
Yeah. It ends pretty much when he. This is not a spoiler. Yeah. It's just apparently everybody else knew this I did not know it was part one.
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B
No, there's more than one. Yeah.
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A
And so it ends when he makes the bad. Like he's on tour for bad. So. Yeah, exactly. It was very high. It was great. But I'm like, I have to wait now I gotta like go see another movie. Yeah, I mean he did have a pretty interesting full life. Even though he died relatively young. But still. Yeah, I guess there was still a lot more to tell. So it was interesting. Oh, I don't know. I have no idea how long it's going to. I've even looked at that. But. So it was good. But the celebration is. I went alone and now I have really no resistance to going. There were things I really liked about it. Nobody was distracting me. A couple of my kids talk during movies and that was another reason I decided not to wait. I was like, I think that would irritate me for this movie. I think I just want to give myself a chance to really get into it and not be pulled out of it by a question or a comment. So that's what I did. I know. What I purchased this week is also my product of the week. Okay.
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B
It's so pretty.
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A
It's my little guy. So this is my simple modern. It's a 24 ounce tumbler with strawberries. So I have. I always have my little drink here. It's. I have two of these. They are three and four years old.
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B
They were.
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A
Yeah, I alternate them constantly. The paint on the four year old one is, you know, starting to chip all the way around here. The. The kind of greenish one that I have. It's just rough up here. It's not really noticeably chipping yet, but so I got the. My other two are 20 ounce size. I decided to get the 24 ounce so maybe I would have to like refill it as much. I forgot the straw comes in the same color, which is interesting. I mean the green one is too, but I just never really thought about it. Yeah, it's a bigger straw.
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B
It looks long.
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A
It's. Well, I have icing here, so it's probably not going all the way down, but it's wider and I. It reminds me of like a milkshake straw. I don't know if I love it. I just literally. But I do love the. This brand. The simple modern Tumblr.
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B
So much color.
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A
The. And that's it.
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B
They have butter yellow.
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A
It is. It's called, I wrote it down Buttercup. It's available in 15 plus colors. Some are more expensive than others. So I'M going to give you the price for the standard color.
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B
Yeah.
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A
Most colors are this price. So the 20 ounces, which is my original one, if you have seen my podcast before, you've probably seen one of my other ones. That one is 16.99. The 24 ounce, this guy that's a bit taller is 24 is. No, it's 18.99. Great price. I know. And so the 28 ounce, which is kind of the big honking, like Big Gulp kind of thing is $20.39. And like I said, some colors are more so. Like some of the. Even the patterns. Right. The 18.99 is like as much as the 24 ounce.
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B
Okay.
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A
For. You know, so I'm like. But it keeps. I only use it for cold. You can use them for half. Well, I guess not. The straw, I guess really, you probably wouldn't. But it keeps. I mean, I've had this filled since 6am it's almost 9:30 my time. Oh, yeah. I mean. And it still won't go down. There's so much base in there. Oh, wait, there it is. There it is.
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B
Not melted.
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A
No, no, it. This will. I don't have to. I've never had to put more ace in it. So super excited about it and just wanted to share because I've had it as a product before, but it's been numerous years and when I went back to buy another one, I went right back to the same brand. Like, I looked it up and I'm like, I want the same guy because it has served me well. So the only downside is it doesn't fit on the top rack of my dishwasher. Yeah. So. And I think they recommend not using the dishwasher.
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B
Oh, just like hand wash it. I think I do the straws in the dishwasher.
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A
I use the dishwasher. Yeah. I may not as much for this one because I don't like you putting on the bottom rack. Oh, right. But we'll see. But anyway, that is my product of the week. Should have gotten the blue. I'd really debated the yellow or the blue because I. I knew the yellow was going to be pale and I wanted it to be a little bit more like brightness and happiness. But I do, I do like the. The muted yellow. All right, now for my tip for this week. Remember, if you are looking for something specific, Becca always puts this shit. I'm like, oh, we went off here and there and all around. If I'm driving you crazy, I apologize. That's my brain. But yeah, Go to the highlight reel. If you're looking for something specific, she'll give you the timestamp of where to find it. If you're like, I don't want to hear you talk about your other cups.
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B
And like, just click on the time it'll send you. Exactly.
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A
You're not going to hurt my feelings. Okay, so here is my study tip for this week. So if you are a student or an adult trying to remember something that you need to for a presentation or whatever, this came partly. I've been doing this for years with my students, but I was reminded of it in my Life Hacks calendar. I was like, oh, I'm going to talk about that. So it says to memorize something for an exam by an odd scented eraser, like pickle or broccoli. Do they have those scents for the research? And it says smell is closely linked with memory. So if you smell your eraser while studying and then again while taking the exam, you'll be much more likely to remember what you studied. Yes. So here's the additional tip. Use all of your senses. The more senses you use, the more sticky it is for your brain. So I always say if you're studying and you're reading a piece of paper and you're just looking at a vocabulary word and the definition and then you're just repeating it to yourself, and then you're looking at the vocabulary word and the definition and you're just trying it, it is very one dimensional, not very interactive, not very sticky for your brain. Remember, our brains are wired for interest. So amp up the interest with your senses. What does that look like? I'm going to give you some of my favorite examples that I use with students. Think of it as adding more Velcro to hold onto it with. So it's going to be stronger for you to recall. So if you think about vision, just reading it is using your eyes. But if you also read it out loud, you're adding the auditory component. So now you've added an additional sense. Those two elements are stronger than the one. Maybe you read it with a funny voice like Elmer Fudd, or you know, something that makes it interesting for your brain to remember. Or maybe you write terms in groups in different colors. So if you're studying bio and you'll put different types of cells or organisms in different colors, your brain will remember more based on that. So it might be like, okay, I don't remember, but I do remember it was in green. So it was a cell or it was a one celled organism. Or whatever. Not a good example for me to share because it becomes very clear very quickly how little I know about bio. But vision can also be kind of tied to tactile. Like if you move to a different room, you're sitting on a, like a rocking chair, you're moving. If you get into motion, if you're walking around while talking, all of that adds more to it. If you study in different locations, you're creating interest. So it might be. I remember I was studying about the Revolutionary War when I was sitting outside on a park bench and so that, that part I was studying then. So that was Revolutionary War. So you know, it's like you'll remember different if you group things and you study in different locations. That's another way to use vision for going back to the tactile to touch. Maybe braiding with chalk, braiding with fat, thin, you know, different markers, dry race markers, chalkboard out on a sidewalk, you know, whatever. Engaging the sense of touch to it. Tying in color. Right. So it's like I have different colored chalk that I'm running with or putting on different colored note cards that you're moving. And matching is another kind of kinesthetic way to think about it. Smell like, like the, the pickle erasers, if that's a thing and you could tolerate pickle smelling erasers, great. It could also be different scented markers, like, you know, because they'll come in lovely, like cherry blueberries.
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B
Smell good.
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A
That smell great. Yeah, like strawberry. Or different scented candles, things like that. For taste. Yes, taste can be a thing. My go to is always gum. So if you're chewing like spearmint gum when you're studying this, maybe you switch to cinnamon for this or fruit flavored for this. So it's literally tying that element to what you're saying. And research also shows that gum chewing supports your focus so it makes it easier. It's funny because we're never allowed to chew gum in school, but gum actually helps us take tests better. So it can support you to remember things while you're studying them too. And then of course, sound. So whether you're saying it out loud or you're playing certain playlists to help you remember, literally tying it to either music, like you're turning something into a little tune song. Yeah, yeah. Or you're playing certain music while you're studying certain things to help you remember. Like, oh, I was listening to John Williams Star Wars Symphony when I was studying this part. So I remember that was playing. And it's like just giving your brain Something else to connect to. So the tip is to make things stickier for your brain so you're working less, remembering more, make it more interesting, use your five senses. And there is no limit to our creative creativity. When we bring this in, it just makes it so much easier to hold on to the things you're trying to. All right, now for our main topic this week, and we're going to go back to music here and that is turning music into structure. So these are ADHD friendly strategies to help you focus, help you calm down or hope you energize yourself. So music can be great background noise. A lot of us will have things on in the background. It's almost like white noise. We're not really paying attention to it, but it does help us to focus. For ADHD brains, it can be helpful in that aspect, but in so many more ways. So I want to touch on the research that I found on this first and then we'll go into some strategies if you want to play around with some playlists, some ways to use music to work for you. Research shows that music activates our brain's reward center and that means that it's increasing the dopamine that we have in our brain and improved. Increased dopamine improves our motivation, our engagement and our ability to persist at tasks. So we don't kind of peter out as quickly when our dopamine levels are higher. Adhd also remember our brains are understimulated or we can get overstimulated and overflowing, like flooding emotionally can get in the way, we get overwhelmed and some music can help to regulate that. So if you think about, if you're like starting to get really amped out, you're amped out, you're amped up. It's calming music to kind of like that, that nervous system reset into calm. But it's also, if you're like finding you're falling asleep and you know what you're doing is just like, oh my gosh, I can't. Music can do the opposite as well. Exactly. It can freeze that, create that energy and help you to upregulate and it can help you to start. Right. So it's that I don't want to do this. Oh, now I'm moving. I got the music. The music's creating the energy again. For background music. It does. Research does show it supports focus for a lot of us with adhd, but for some it doesn't. So it might be a lot of times they'll talk about instrumentals being helpful, but I have worked with students over the years that it doesn't because they play a musical instrument and the, the musicality distracts them because they're listening for the instrument that they play or for the note. Like they think, you know, they're identifying the notes as they're listening because that's part of their education.
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B
Right.
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A
And so it's very distracting. So they do better with a song that they know that they can just have on in the background so that they're not paying attention to it because they already know it. And it's just, you know, it really is a very individual thing. Yeah. And so if you're a parent and your child is listening to music and you're like, turn that off. How can you possibly focus with that on? It might be just asking, what is it about the music that is working for you? So we're getting a little bit more information about what it is that is prompting them to turn it on. Yeah. And why that music? Why that specific kind of music? And then the rhythms of the music and the songs that we listen to help act as a time scaffold. So if you are doing something, you're like, oh my gosh, like, this song is still on and I'm still doing this. And it's like, not like, oh, I'm gonna. The. The day the music died, you know, like, like a really long song. I was like, what is the name of that song? Yeah, exactly. But it can help be like, okay, I'm gonna do this till the end of this song or I'm going to do this. I can tolerate it until the song's over, or I'm going to try to finish before the song's over, or I'll do this for three songs and then I'm done. So it can help kind of tether you to time a little bit. So here are some strategies. So that's the research about what it really does show the evidence that music works for our brains. So what does that look like? If you want to intentionally tap into music as a strategy, we can create task length playlists. I actually came across this from a client years ago that I thought it was such. I've shared this so many times with, with other clients and like, it was such a great approach that worked for her. She would listen to like a set mute, like movie soundtrack, like the Sound of Music, and looked at the time for each of the song lengths and paired tasks to them that she was like, I could do that for that long. And then I know as soon as that song's over. I can stop or I know that when I do this, typ takes about that long. So I'm going to do that to this song. And she had it where she would just move along her tasks when the song changed, the task change and she was able to get things done. And I just thought, now that's using our brain in a really positive, supportive way instead of getting kind of overwhelmed that why can't I just get up and do it? It's like, no, use it to help you do the things you're trying to do. So either like each song has one task or step or each playlist is to focus. So maybe you have like a 10 minute playlist and you use it while you're vacuuming or you know, AirPods or something in the ears so that you can hear it or while you're dusting or something that you're like, I can tolerate it for this length and I know that's typically how long I can tolerate or how long it takes. It's just working for you. I like it in terms of like if I'm trying to do laundry, it might be like I'm going to put on my laundry playlist and I'm stripping the bed, I'm making the bed, I'm sorting the laundry, I throw the laundry in and hopefully, you know, the playlist is just moving me along and helping me to check that off. The second strategy is to match the music to the task. I know. So really simple here. If it's a boring task like dishes, laundry, that kind of thing, pair it with upbeat music. So it's almost like a little dance party you got going on while you're doing the thing. I like it if you're folding laundry, maybe you're standing and dancing while you're folding. If you need to use music to help you focus, pair it with the kind of music that does help you focus. Try. Instrumental Try. There's an app that I. I haven't used it in a bit but I just loved it. There's a couple of them. One used to be called Coffitivity which ended up just being a website. So I haven't looked at this recently but it was the sound of background noise like you would find in a coffee shop. And you could choose like low, low crowd, you know, like kind of mid morning crowd and then like busy lunch crowd where there was like higher level of. You could never make out what people were saying. It just had the sounds of conversation in the background. So cool and. And the Sounds of like, you know, like stirring spoons against a cup. But you could choose the level. And I found that really helpful. It used to be an app, and then it turned into just a website. But the other was called Focus at Will. And I know that is still an app. It is a paid app. I do think it had a free level. I paid for the lifetime subscription because I used to use it all the time in my office when I had my office in North Carolina, because it was kind of helpful if I needed to have, like, the door open where I would drown out the. The noise of other people in their offices because it would get kind of hot in my office. And it was just. It was instrumental. It was just enough to help me focus and not hear anything else. It was very pleasant. And that actually was designed specifically mathematically for helping people focus. No, no, no. It's literally the music was evidence based to help you focus on. So that one was called Focus at Will. Okay. The third strategy is to ID start music. So these are the songs that get you into action. So it's a signal to your brain that it's time to start. So if you think about people that have, like, alarms set to music and that music, not like your typical, like, oh, this is my, you know, standard iPhone alarm. Yeah. But when you can choose your own song, think about, like, I always. This is not a song, but I think of the movie Sister act and the. The nun that had the alarm clock that said, get out of your daisy head. It was like a daisy. And I just thought that was so funny that I would love that alarm clock. Well, when you think about music, it might be something like your favorite song that's upbeat and get you moving. And you love it. So you're not angry. It's coming off, waking you up. You're. You're kind of like, oh, there it is. Okay. Okay. Yeah, I'm gonna get going. Yeah. So pick a song that work so that when it comes on, it becomes this is the song that I use when. And your brain gets trained to that. This means get up and go. So whether you get out of bed or go do the thing, it's the song that helps you and it reduces that start friction. Okay, just a few more. The next one is to use exercise to move more. So have it on while you're cooking to help you dance around, you know, a little bit extra steps when you're walking and running. It can help you to keep going. It can help you in terms of the rate that you're going Yep. Exactly your pace. Thank you. Or just to like stretch during it to remind yourself, like, oh, this is my stretch music. Okay, let me just stretch before I go. The next tip, which is one I think most of us have done or thought about, is a playlist in terms of just specifically targeting them for different things. So I have songs that I have in a playlist that just I have for when I'm down. They're all songs that have positive memories attached to them. So they're just kind of my get me out of my. My blue kind of stage. I have songs that remind me of specific people. So I have like a playlist of music from my mom and dad that they. I remember when I was a kid that they loved and I love the songs because they love the songs. So if I want to think about them, I put that on. Or maybe it's a song that you identify with, something that kind of speaks to you because this music, like resonates with who you are. So it's like a you playlist. So just creating meaningful playlists. And then the last tip is to have a personal anthem song. So this is my favorite thing to do to get out of my comfort zone and do the thing I'm doing that's kind of scary. Yeah. So my personal example is AC DC for those about to rock. I put that on anytime I'm doing something for the first time. That's really scary for me. Yeah, it just helps settle me. I listened to it before I did my sign language routine in front of people. I listened to it before I taught my first online course when I was a coach and I was training other coaches. I was so like, oh, my gosh, like I'm going to be the one leading this here and they're going to be asking my questions and I would put it on. I'd be like, you got this. You got this. So a personal anthem could be a really empowering thing to have that you put on that helps build up that confidence and that energy for you. So I just wanted to share a couple of tips because I know sometimes we hear lots of great ideas but then we struggle to get started. So I never want to leave you lay on. So just some quick tips, keep them short. Something is more than nothing. Two songs as a playlist, like one song, your anthem, anthem playlist. It's one thing to keep it really easy, name them by function. So I have like an energy building playlist. You could have a cleaning playlist, people playlist. You know, get out of the bad mood like think about fun names to make them so you're coming back to them. Make them easy to find. Name them, use them. It'll. It'll become something that is one of your go to tools and then tweak by what actually works for you. If there's a song in there that you are noticing is now getting on your nerves or isn't working as you thought you. Yeah, just take a minute, get it out so that you're not avoiding that playlist because you know that song was in it. Just take that beat. Remember, you know, like maybe like when you're, I don't know, like waiting for food at a restaurant or something. I hate to say that because then maybe you're not talking to the people with you, but you know, just look for like those you're in a waiting room waiting, waiting for a doctor's appointment or something to, you know, follow. This is when I go through and I curate my playlist and then have a default playlist for when you don't want to choose. Have your. Just like, this is my go to playlist. I call it Go to Playlist. Just put it on and you know, it works for whatever your mood is. Music is a tool that goes around the need for willpower. So it circumvents that willpower and helps you do the things that you're trying to do a little bit more easily. Or a lot more easily. Yeah. All right, now for my 5 out of 5 star book of the week. This is it. It is such a good book. Have you heard of this? No. So it's the Calamity Club by Katherine Stockett. She's the author of the Help. Did you read the Help?
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B
No, but I saw the movie.
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A
Okay. Most people have either read it or seen it. I read the Help and loved it. And saw the movie and love it. Apparently this is her second book. I didn't realize she's not written a book since the Help. I know, and I did not know because I got this in audit in E format first.
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B
Oh, okay.
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A
And so I tend to be very disconnected from the authors anyway. Like I just. Unless it's somebody I just know, which is pretty small chance of that. I don't tend to remember. So I did not remember any. I didn't even pay attention. I just saw this on NetGalley. Thank you NetGalley and the publisher for giving me advanced copy. This just came out on May 5th. Oh, so brand new. I was so taken by the skillful descriptions and dialogue and writing that I literally stopped When I was about 20 in and I was like, who is this author? This is so good. And that's when I sue. I was like, well, that makes. Perfect. Like, that makes so much sense. So let me give you. I'm going to read you a summary because I tried writing one and I have to tell you, it's. It's a long. Okay. It's a long book. It was. I looked it up to see as I was read, because it's so hard when you get an advanced copy. You really can't tell. It just gives you a percentage of how far you enter. But the pages aren't numbered, so you really don't have a sense of how long it is. So I had to go look it up. And I looked up the. The audio format was, I think, 29 hours or just shy of 29 hours. And that's because I was like, oh, my gosh. Like, I was like reading forever. And I was like 20 in and it was like ever. It took me, like forever to go 1% further. And I was like, how long is this book? So it is. And I think the physical book was like 680 pages.
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B
I was gonna be like 500.
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A
Oh, my God. That book was pretty. Was a pretty big book. So I haven't seen it in physical format yet, but I. I'm guessing it's a pretty good sized book, but well worth the read. All right, so here's the summary. Sorry I've kept you all waiting. Set in 1933, Oxford, Mississippi. The Calamity Club is about Meg, an abandoned girl in a harsh orphanage. And she's 11, she's lovely. And Birdie, a determined woman seeking help from her wealthy sister. Their lives unexpectedly collide as the Great Depression deepens. Their lives collide when Birdie volunteers to help get the orphanage's books in order. She works in a very small town as a bookkeeper, and she goes to visit her sister a couple of hours away. And her sister volunteers in this orphanage. So she goes to help and she meets Meg, who is not doing great, not. Not living in great conditions there and is kind of being targeted. We don't know why. And so it's a powerful, emotional story of resilience, unlikely connection, and the courage to start again. Oh, it was. I have chills just reading the description. It was so good. So I gave this a full on 5 out of 5 and highly recommend. I think this will be the book of the summer. It is so good. I looked it up. Right now there's no movie rights. I can guarantee you it is going to be a movie. It is so it reads like a movie. I saw the whole, like, I literally felt like I already saw the movie. It's so good. Okay, there you go. See, guys, when I give something A4, I like it a lot, but it takes a lot for me to give something a 5 because it's like, there's nothing. Like, I'm like, okay, this is. That's like it. Yeah, this is it. Like, there's nothing. So now my quote of the week is from James Clear. This just felt so appropriate, so I grabbed it. He said, improvement is being better than your past self. Do not compare yourself against others. Compare against your past self. Keep the focus internal. I love that because so many of us do compare ourselves to our neighbors. Our siblings are what our parents achieve by our age. So true. Friends, you know every Celebrities. Yes. Social media, people we don't even know. And we're, like, judging ourselves because, oh, my gosh, their house is so clean or they have these nice things or, you know, they get to go here. I should get to go there. Compare yourself to your past self and the progress that you've made from that point as your lens. I love that. That's it for this episode. Until next time. Tally H.