Transcript
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Hi, welcome to ADHD Friendly. I am Patty. I am an ADHD coach professionally certified for, I don't know, 10 years. Been coaching for 13 or 14 years. It's all a blur. But my passion is arriving here to support anyone impacted by ADHD to struggle less and thrive more. And this is episode 230 of trying to do that each week. So this week I am sharing a celebration related to my medical appointments that I had on my 26 things I want to do in 2026. I also have a tip about batteries. We're going to try out live and see if this tip makes any sense to try in real life. And then I have my main topic which is why transitions are so hard when we have adhd, what makes it difficult, and how to create a little bit more ease in transitions. Got some strategies I'm going to share for you to explore to see if they might help you to transition a little bit more easily. Foreign let's jump in with my celebration for this episode and it is a 26 in 2026 win. So if you are a new listener, just to give you a quick update, I make a list every year of how the things I want to accomplish throughout the year and I tie it to the year it is. So this year I have 26 things on my personal goals list, my aims, my intentions. Use the word that works for you that I want to accomplish throughout 2026. And I crossed some big ones off last week. I shared a little bit in last episode about some of the challenges that came about from my physical and my blood work needing to be done and all of that. But I want to really highlight here. I did get the physical done, I went back and got the labs completed. I did my mammogram later in the week and I got all my results back and everything is good, good, good. So I'm so excited that everything panned out. My second part of that celebration is I shared in the previous episode about the little bump in the road I hit when I couldn't get my labs done before my physical that was scheduled at 12 noon. So I had to go back another day and fast again and it was kind of a hurdle I really had a hard time getting past but eventually worked it out well when I showed up at my mammogram in this very busy week where I already had the physical fit in around my work schedule and then I had to go back and get the labs done another time and fast and all of that. I arrived my mammogram and I Don't know if you guys have ever done something like this before, but it felt very, very much like my ADHD brain was just crossing wires. Last week, left and right, I showed up, checked in, all good. They printed my paperwork, sent me to the. The mammogram office, checked in there, and the lady there. There's two different points you have to check in. So the lady, when I got there and gave her my. My paperwork, where, you know, they already printed my wristband and put a wrist on my. You know, everything was good. When I got to her in the specific office where the mammogram is completed, they said that my appointment wasn't at this location, that I was standing physically in. It was at a different location in and also run by the same group, but they had multiple locations. And I got pretty overwhelmed because I'm standing there ready for my mammogram to be just checked off and just finished the last of the medical things for the week. And my appointment was at a place about 20 minutes from where I was standing to have the mammogram done. I thought it was their mistake. I was initially kind of, you know, internally frustrated, even though I was acting like, okay, well, is there anything that. That we can do about that? And she was like, well, have a seat, and we'll see if we can squeeze you in. So I was trying to, you know, do my deep breathing, and I was getting in my head. So I went to look it up to kind of give myself evidence that I wasn't wrong. They were. Nope, I was wrong. But I asked for what I asked for. I just didn't notice when the person scheduling me said back a different location because it has a similar name, just different location, and it just didn't click. But when I got the email confirmation, I saw it was clearly the other location that they confirmed my appointment was with. So my win is I stayed calm, externally, at least. I asked if there was anything that could be done so I. I could have it done right then and there without having to try to race across town to make the other appointment. And they were able to fit me in, and I was out of there, you know, pretty quickly with very little impact to my time. So just huge, huge relief celebration to have all three of those things done in one week and my physical and mammogram checked off on the two individual things out of my 26 and 26 list done. So that's a huge relief and a huge win that I want to just highlight that even though it didn't all Go as easily as I hoped. I learned a lot and made notes to support my future self next year when I have to make these appointments again. All right, so what I purchased this week, I very spontaneously, very impulsively purchased flowers and chocolate for my daughter and her bff, who are both teachers. And we're having a really rough week. And it was last Thursday. It was just like, kind of like middle. She called me on her way to work, and I could tell she was really down and just kind of feeling overwhelmed. She was just having a tough time. And I went online and tried to see, like, where could I order flowers? Because I'm in Chicago, she's in North Carolina. And they were so expensive, you know, pretty much everywhere. And I just thought, well, let me just look at Sam's and see if they. Because I knew that, you know, I'm from where my daughter lives, so I'm like, I know where everything is. I'm like, well, there's a Sam's not far from her school. And I looked, and they had these beautiful. They're called Sam's Club members Mark Jumbo premium bouquets. They had 4.6 out of 5 stars with 50700 plus reviews, and they were $16.87 each. So I ordered two. One for her, one for her best friend, and as well as a giant thing of M&M's that they could share because I needed the order to be over $50 to get free shipping. So with the flowers, the M&Ms, and the tip, it was $62 with tip tax, everything done. And I got my daughter and her friends permission to share the pictures. If you're listening to those, check out my YouTube channel of them holding their flowers. Look how beautiful they are. Just. I was so happy. It definitely made their day. Her friend texted me. My daughter texted me and said how fun it was and how happy they were to have them. And it just felt so sparkly to be able to do an action that brought a little bit of lightness to their day, a little, you know, eased a little bit of maybe the. The stress or the pressure that they were feeling. And at $16.87 each, I was like, come on. Like, they're. They're just beautiful. So just a quick description because this is also my product of the week. If you are a Sam's Club member, this should be available at your local club. Their little notes under the product are that the color and the variety varies seasonally. There are 27 stems of mixed flowers per bunch. Vase not included. And they Have a seven day freshness guarantee. So that's what I purchased. It was definitely impulsive, spontaneous. I don't regret it for a second. I've got that picture of them that just brings me joy looking at it. And it was money well spent for something that brought a bit of joy to their day. So that's my thing. That's what I purchased and kind of excited about it. All right, now for my tip. I got this from I shared earlier this year. I have a 365 day tips to try to make a little ease in your life. And this was from a little bit ago is from Friday, February 27th. And it says it's a life hack. It says, want to see if your batteries have some life left in them? Drop them on a table from about 6 inches above. One small bounce means that they're good. Any additional bouncing means that the battery is dead or on its way out. So I thought, let's try this out. So I've got two batteries here. One of them is very old and again if you're looking, you can see it's very corroded. I took it out of an old little bedside clock that is dead and not, not going anymore. So this battery, which is my Duracell battery, is the dead battery that I know is dead. And this Energizer guy is a brand new battery that I just took out of the package to test this theory. So my tip is even when we hear things not assuming that the tip is accurate and correct, I always do test things before I share them here. I think I've never shared something without it being tested. I hope I'm right on that. I can't think of anything that I've shared that I haven't personally tried out because that's kind of what I enjoy doing. But I always get batteries mixed up when I'm changing them out, especially if the device has multiple batteries in them. So I thought this would be really cool because if I get them mixed up, I could just drop them and see if it bounces or not. So remember, one slight bounce means it's good. If it bounces additionally means it's dead or dying. So I'm going to turn my camera. I apologize if this creates a little bit movement kind of imbalance for you. And now I'm kind of off centered. But let's try the dead battery first. Well, actually let's try the live battery first since this one's supposed to only bounce once. All right, here we go. Okay. I would say that bounced pretty much once. So that's the live one. So the small one, the dead one should bounce a little bit more than that or maybe multiple more times. I don't know. Let's see. So I'm about 6 inches above, like it says, and. Okay, I didn't notice a difference. I didn't notice a single difference. Let's drop them together and see if we can see a difference together. So I'm going to drop them both at the same time. I would say that one seemed dead because it did a little bit more than bounce. It bounced and it flipped. Okay, that's interesting. I had done it on my countertop, which is why I decided to do it live on wood, because it did say on the tip, Drop them on a table. So I thought maybe they meant a wooden table. That was what happened on my countertop. But I thought on a wooden table, it might. It might perform differently. So that's a thumbs down on that tip. I'm kind of disappointed because I've been loving some of the tips from my calendar, and that's not one of them. So I'm going to have to see if there's another way besides hooking it up to something that you can easily tell that a battery has life in it or not. I know with the 9v, like we used to when we were kids, like, put them on our tongue, because you could. It would. It would kind of have that zing on your tongue. I don't know. That's disappointing. So, yeah, don't do that. That's not going to tell you if your battery is good or not. So my tip ends up being test first before relying on it to see if it actually performs as described. And I'm kind of bummed because I found, like, the perfect dead battery. Like, I was so proud of myself for getting the supplies together to run the experiment. Live well. All right. That's how things go sometimes. All right, so I'm going to transition to our main topic for this episode, and that is why transitions are so hard for ADHD brains. Most people with ADHD brain wiring do struggle with transitions. Some of us do more than others. Transitions can be anything from going from one task to another. Leaving the house, leaving work, closing up for the day, transitioning from bed to getting up. Anytime you go from one thing to the other, it's a transition. And transitioning from one thing to another thing requires being able to let go and stop the thing that you're focusing on deciding or remembering what you were going to do next. If you're going to another task or to another activity, it's okay. Where was I in space? What was I doing? What's next? Fighting the resistance to stop. I know I struggle, and a lot of my clients have told me that we have a tendency to have a really hard time stopping what we're doing, especially if our brain's engaged. But even if we're doing something we don't like, we'll resist stopping because we know how hard it was to start and we don't want to have to do it again. So it's that I'm just going to keep going so I can be done. And it almost can feel like it's the most important thing because I'm doing it, and I don't trust that I'll be able to come back and do it again or start it again to finish it later. We also have a hard time regulating our energy and our emotions. So as I kind of just described, it's that, am I going to have the energy to come back to it? Am I going to feel overwhelmed if I stop and I don't finish and I have to come back and try to start again? There's lots going on here with our executive functions that create these challenges with transitions. The executive functions that come to the top of my mind when I think about transitioning are that task initiation. So literally being able to start something, our metacognition, our awareness of what we need to do, what works for us, what gets us stuck, so that thinking about our own thinking, our working memories, that holding in mind, okay, when I stop, what am I doing next? Like remembering the thing or the steps and the thing that we're trying to do, regulating our emotions. So keeping our emotions cool and calm so we can go through what we're doing in transition the way that we want to. And then, of course, managing our time and planning and prioritizing what we're doing, all of these are firing off or not firing off or firing at peaks and valleys in ways that aren't coordinating with each other and really working to help us transition with ease. So what do we do about it? I always say, if the struggle is real for you, knowing and understanding is incredibly important and helpful. But after we have that awareness, what do we do with that so that we're not continuing to struggle? So my thing that I'm going to encourage you to explore is creating transition rituals. So these are things that you do to help you move from the thing that you're doing to the next thing you need to do. Every transition ritual will make it easier to go from that thing to the next because you're removing decisions. Those things you have to decide in the moment are removed because you have a plan you've already pre decided you're going to implement. So there's three traits that can keep transition rituals ADHD friendly. The first is keep it simple. So, for example, if you're planning to start planning your next week, you're like, okay, my next thing is to plan the week that is really, really large. So it might be, I'm going to just open my planner to start. So it might be when you're transitioning to planning. I'm just opening my planner. That's my start. Make it predictable. So at the end of, at the end of the day, so before I wrap up and leave my office, I am going to write down the very next thing I need to do when I come in tomorrow. That's it. I'm just going to write down tomorrow's first step so you're making it easier for yourself. And the third piece, so simple, predictable when you do it, what you do when you do it. And the third is how long you're taking to do it. So 10 minutes max. Shorter is better. So when I switch tasks, maybe I am standing up and stretching. Maybe I'm walking the dogs, but I'm setting a timer. If I'm out of my office, I'm setting a timer on me. So my, my phone. If I'm in my office, I'm setting a timer on my desk so that if I'm getting up and walking around, looking out the window, going to the bathroom, I will hear the timer and have to go back to my desk to turn it off. These things are anchored to existing patterns. So we're not trying to do things completely out in left field. We are tying them to a habit when possible. So if you want to review your priorities for the day, maybe that predictable point you're doing it is when your coffee is brewing. If you know that takes about 60, 90 seconds, it's a quick, structured time that you're like, okay, so when the coffee brews, I just open my planner and look at what I've identified as the things I want to get done today. And I'm just highlighting the first one to at the most three things that I'm going to focus on. So it's just keeping those simple, predictable, and short qualities to your transition rituals. So here are the steps to make your own. First, pick one transition. Don't pick them all. Don't get overwhelmed, give yourself permission to just pick one. Something you struggle with, something that happens pretty frequently. So you have a lot of opportunity to practice your ritual. I want you just to notice. When does it typically happen? What are you focused on? What's going on that you're having a hard time transitioning from? How does it feel when you try to transition? And how do you want to feel instead? So my example here might be if you're lying in bed scrolling or continually hitting the snooze and you're trying to get up, but you're having just a hard time transitioning, this is such an important one because number one, it happens. If this is a challenge for you potentially every day. And it might be setting up your day to start out where you're feeling behind already if you scrolled or you stayed in bed longer than you intended because you're hitting the snooze, or maybe a combination of things. So think about when does it happen? In this case, in the morning when I'm trying to get up. How does it usually feel? It feels like I'm trying to force myself to get up, but I'm really struggling to follow through. And then I start beating myself up for the longer I stay. And it's like, whatever I meant to get up at this time, now it's this time, the whole day shot anyway, so didn't happen. How do you want to feel instead? I want to feel like I magically can get up. I just want to feel like I'm not having to push myself. I am just up and starting my day without that pattern of scrolling or hitting this news, whatever it is. So that's step one, pick the transition. Identify when it happens, how it feels, and how you want to feel instead. Step two, create your three step transition ritual. All right, so now you've got your routine. I'm going to keep focused on getting out of bed in the morning just because it's such a common one that a lot of us struggle with. So step number one, what will you do to pause or end the previous activity? So think about what it is that you're trying to do. For me, it. It might be like, okay, I was looking at my calendar or you know, for me, it would probably be not. Not being on the phone to begin with. But think about what you would do to pause or end the previous activity. If it's something you're actively doing, maybe you need to write down the immediate next step for when you return. If you're transitioning to like, go to the bathroom, which a lot of us also struggle with, to like go and hydrate, go get a snack. We just want to keep going. So maybe it's. I'm going to write down the very first thing I'm coming back to when I come back so that we have that entry point that's going to support us to transition more easily. But that's the first thing. What will you do to pause or end the previous activity? The second step is how will you reset either the environment or your body? So in my example about getting up, let's focus on my last little kind of offhanded example of getting up to go to the bathroom. That might be something that you don't struggle with. Maybe it's getting up and hydrating, getting up and getting something to eat, which a lot of us like, we just lose time. I definitely resist getting up to stop to go to the bathroom. So in that example, if I'm working and I don't want to stop, maybe I'm writing down the immediate next thing I'm going like I was here in my checklist. I draw a line, that's it. Like, this is the very next thing I'm doing. And then I stand up and stretch and I go to the bathroom. Step three is cue the action. So setting a five minute timer on your phone or on your desk to return to the activity. So if you literally are taking a break that you want to make sure you come back to, it's okay. I want to make sure I'm transitioning to go to the bathroom. I'm going to write down the immediate next step. I'm going to set the timer so that I come back in five minutes and I'm going to stretch, go to the bathroom, walk around a bit. And when the timer goes off, I'm back at my desk. So it pulls me back. Because a lot of us will take a break and one of the reasons we resist the break is we have a hard time coming back. So it's what's the cue that's going to bring you back if you need to come back, or the cue that's going to bring you to the next task. So some common challenges to implementing this ritual, whatever it is. So your three steps again, what you will do to pause or end the thing that you're working on currently to transition, what you'll do to reset your body or your environment. So whether it's standing up, whether it's, you know, kind of closing one thing and opening another, what you're going to do to cue the next action, set a timer to keep it limited. You know, think about what those three things are and then keep in mind what will get in the way with our ADHD brain wiring of implementing the ritual that you're intending to try out. Just experimenting with it. So the first is of course forgetting that we intended to do it. So keep prompts visible for yourself if you are somebody that likes to sketch. Maybe if I use the bathroom example, you draw a little toilet and you stick it on a timer. So when the timer goes off, you remember, oh, that's right, I plan to get up and go to the bathroom or I plan to get up and get a drink or walk the dogs. Whatever it is, keep it shorter. Too long will create challenges. So 10 minutes or less is kind of the the place I want you to play with. If 10 minutes is too long, go shorter. If 10 minutes doesn't feel long enough, notice that and find your Goldilocks spot. But when you're experimenting, I'm going to encourage you to keep it to 10 minutes and see how that looks and feels in reality when you try it. Don't expect perfection. So you're not going to avoid resistance for every transition forevermore. That's not realistic. But tracking what is working and growing your awareness of how it works is amazing. Progress to cut down on the difficulty with transitioning and then don't try to fix all of your transitions at once. If you struggle with transitions throughout the day, give yourself permission again to focus on one. Pick the one that feels the most sparkly or would be the most impactful. My example is the morning one, because sometimes those morning rituals can really set up our day or throw them off. But I invite you to think about the ritual that would target a difficult transition point for you to experiment with and let me know how it goes. This is episode 230. It's a special 10, which I don't think I mentioned at the top, where we talk about challenges very specifically related to our brain wiring and strategies to support it. So today in our special 10 episode that is transitions and how to do them with more ease. All right, finally, as always, I'm ending with my book of the week and this is Theo of Golden. This is by Alan Levi. I love this book. I gave it a 4 out of 5 stars. Really quick summary. An 83 year old man arrives in Golden, Georgia and makes a collection of varied friendships. Different people from different backgrounds, different ages, a lot of complexity. He impacts their lives and unexpected and sometimes very profound ways. It was a Lovely quick read. Really enjoyed. Enjoyed it. Theo of Golden, Alan Levi. That sounds like something that you'd be interested in. Check it out. All right. And now I have my quote of the week. And this is from Theo of Golden. And in it it says, the best portion of a good person's life is the little nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and love. I love that so much. It's just the little things. And I thought of that with my flowers. What I felt like was such a celebration with sending the flowers was I didn't just think of it like I do so many times. I have. One of my favorite quotes is the smallest of deeds supersedes the greatest of intentions. It was super easy to go on samsclub.com and order them. They were delivered less than three hours after I did that. I completely forgot I did it. And then suddenly I got a text of my daughter and her best friend with the picture of them together. And I was so happy that I lightened their day, but also that I supported myself to follow through with what was a very sparkly thought and took action in a way that didn't feel dysregulated because I found a way I could do it affordably that worked within my budget without kind of doing something that I was regretting later on because I spent, you know, 79 on one little thing of flowers. And, you know, it just ended up being this really exorbitant thing. I was able to take action, do it, and that was a celebration, as always, for our brain. That's it for this episode. Until next time. Tally ho.
