Episode Summary: "Why Your Routines Don't Stick"

Podcast: ADHD-Friendly
Host: Patty Blinderman
Episode: #224
Date: February 4, 2026

Episode Overview

In this episode, Patty Blinderman explores why routines can be particularly challenging to maintain for individuals with ADHD. She shares personal stories, practical ADHD-friendly tips, and key research insights to help listeners understand the unique hurdles of sticking to routines—with a strong emphasis on flexibility, rewards, and self-compassion. Patty bookends the main discussion with light-hearted segments on her week’s celebration, favorite product, a handy life hack for better haircuts, a book review, and a poignant quote.

Celebrations & Weekly Highlights

• Celebration:
  • Patty shares her joy about wedding dress shopping with her oldest daughter, reflecting on how meaningful it was to be included ("I just want to celebrate that she asked me... I felt helpful and not in the way..." – 01:04).
• Product of the Week:
  • Touchland Hydrating Hand Sanitizer Spray (Lemon Lime). Described as non-drying, easy to use, and pleasantly citrus-scented, though Patty notes, “It does smell like Pledge Furniture Polish to me... If you like Pledge, I don’t dislike Pledge” (04:50).
• Hair Tip/Life Hack:
  • Take a picture of yourself on a good hair day to show your stylist for consistent cuts.
    "For years I would take in pictures of celebrities... But the last time, I found a picture of myself... with the hair I really want.” (08:22)

Main Topic: Why Your Routines Don’t Stick

Understanding the ADHD Routine Struggle

• Resolution Season Drop-off:
  • Patty observes how routines fade after the New Year, using her own experience at an empty gym as an example (12:11).
• Need for Novelty:
  • ADHD brains continuously seek novelty and stimulation. When routines lose their “sparkle,” motivation drops:
    “If you find something in your routine no longer novel or stimulating, it is a huge red flag... your routine is in danger of falling off.” (13:10)
• Warning Signs:
  • Boredom and resistance signal an unsustainable routine. Patty encourages listeners to tweak routines rather than force them.

Why Routines Are Important

• Energy Conservation:
  • Repeatable routines minimize decision fatigue and manage ADHD’s limited daily energy:
    “Everybody has a limited amount of energy with ADHD... routines reduce decision making, right?” (14:35)
• Easing Stress:
  • Predictable routines reduce uncertainty, lowering stress (“They ease your stress level because things are predictable.” – 15:38).
• Building Self-Efficacy:
  • Following routines boosts belief in one’s own ability to do what matters (“It builds your self-efficacy... your belief in your ability to do the things that you are planning and intending on doing.” – 16:19).

ADHD-Specific Barriers to Routines

• Dopamine Dysregulation:
  • Lower, inefficient dopamine levels make habits less rewarding, hampering the formation of sustained routines:
    “The reward that we get from completing a routine [is] lower... and rewards are absolutely key in that habit loop formation.” (18:13)
• Executive Function Challenges:
  • Struggles with planning, prioritizing, time management, and starting tasks mean “just do it” rarely works.
• Time Blindness:
  • ADHD can disrupt an internal sense of time, making it easy to “just forget” routines entirely:
    “They realize they weren’t doing it anymore... it wasn’t even a conscious decision, we just stopped one day and didn’t notice it.” (20:35)
• Boredom as Kryptonite:
  • “Interest is the fuel for our brain. Boredom is the kryptonite.” (22:09)

ADHD-Friendly Strategies for Sticky Routines

1. Incorporate Rewards

• Pair routines with something enjoyable—music, a podcast, snacks, or mini Lego builds.
• Create starting, during, and finishing rewards:
  “Pair your routine with something sparkly, something you genuinely enjoy... build in rewards wherever you need them to pull you into your routines.” (23:45)

2. External Prompts

• Use alarms, sticky notes, or habit trackers for reminders.
• “Something that you can see because it’s external, so you’re not going to forget what it is you’re doing.” (25:14)

3. Plan B

• Always have a backup: If your first plan falls through, adapt rather than give up.
  “Something’s always more than nothing. So create a plan B so that it’s not all or nothing.” (25:41)

4. Piggyback on Existing Habits

• Attach new routines to established behaviors (e.g., take medication right after brushing teeth).
  “If you want to build something, add it to something else.” (26:34)

5. Accountability

• Enlist a buddy or accountability partner to create external commitment.
  “Something that creates enough tension that pulls you into it... You’ve got somebody else you’re accountable to.” (27:25)

6. Expect Routines to Fade—Plan for It

• With ADHD, routines naturally lose steam over time. Rather than self-criticism, view this as a sign to renew or refresh:
  “I always say it’s not a matter of if, it’s when. So plan for it, so we’re not beating ourselves up.” (27:59)
• Favorite reflection question:
  “What would make this sparkly again?” (29:03)

Book of the Week

• The Break In by Katherine Faulkner
  • Psychological thriller about a London mom who kills an intruder during a playdate.
  • Patty’s take: “It pulled me in and was very engaging, just a little stressful if you’re going to be reading it as you nod off.” (31:01)
  • Rating: 3.5/5 stars.

Notable Quote

• Aristotle:
  “We are what we repeatedly do.” (32:32)
  • Patty’s reflection: “What you repeatedly do does kind of define what you are... routine can really support you in becoming more aligned with what you value most.”

Memorable Moments

• Patty’s playful descriptions of scent: “It does smell like Pledge Furniture Polish to me.”
• Her humorous takes on idioms: “The metal, the pedal to the metal. Oh, yeah. The rubber meets the road. The gas on the stove. Awful. I don’t know, we’re doing it all.” (23:15)
• The repeated theme of self-compassion and curiosity when routines falter:
  “Plan for it... The goal is to notice when it happens and ask, what would make this sparkly again?” (29:03)

Summary Takeaways

• Routines are crucial for thriving with ADHD—but only when adapted to ADHD brains.
• Flexibility, rewards, external prompts, and periodic renewal are essential.
• If routines lose their luster, pause to refresh or pivot, not to blame yourself.

Patty’s closing advice:
"As always, take what works for you. Leave the rest behind.” (33:13)

Key Timestamps for Reference

• Celebration/Wedding Dress Shopping: 01:04–03:10
• Product of the Week (Touchland Sanitizer): 03:18–06:41
• Hair Tip/Life Hack: 06:45–09:55
• Main Topic Intro: 10:03
• ADHD Routine Challenges: 12:00–22:09
• Sticky Routine Solutions: 23:02–29:03
• Book Review: 31:01–32:20
• Quote of the Week: 32:32–33:13

Final Thought

This episode arms listeners with understanding and actionable strategies, presented in Patty’s approachable, compassionate style. The message is clear: with self-awareness, creativity, and permission to adjust, routines can work for ADHDers—and even become “sparkly” again.