ADHD-ish with Diann Wingert
Episode: The Passion Paradox: When Drive Becomes Dysregulation for Entrepreneurs with ADHD
Date: July 29, 2025

Episode Overview

In this episode, Diann Wingert explores the nuanced relationship between entrepreneurial passion and emotional dysregulation, especially for those with ADHD traits. Diann delves into how emotional intensity can be both a superpower and a stumbling block, offering actionable tools for managing “the passion paradox.” The conversation is tailored to entrepreneurs, solopreneurs, small business owners, and creatives who identify as neurodivergent or simply struggle to fit into business norms. Diann addresses the realities of emotional dysregulation, its impact on business decisions, and pragmatic strategies for transforming emotional chaos into a sustainable competitive edge.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

What is Emotional Dysregulation? (01:10)

• Diann defines emotional dysregulation as “a neurological reality,” not simply being too sensitive.
  • "Your emotional volume controls are essentially broken. You've got two settings, whisper quiet and stadium loud, with very little middle ground." (01:22)
• Neurotypical brains regulate like a thermostat; ADHD brains operate like a smoke detector—everything feels equally urgent.
• Dysregulation is closely tied to impaired executive function, which affects both task management and emotions.

Solopreneurship & Emotional Intensity (04:05)

• When you’re a one-person business, emotional dysregulation is amplified—there’s no team for feedback or reality checks.
  • “There's nobody to say, hey, maybe you're reading too much into that client's feedback... You’re left to interpret every single interaction through the lens of rejection sensitivity.” (04:50)
• Diann illustrates how rejection-sensitive dysphoria (RSD) turns normal business conversations—pricing, client requests, or contract negotiations—into emotional landmines.
• Perfectionism can become a maladaptive coping mechanism: “If you never raise your prices, you can't be rejected. If you never pitch that big client, you simply can't hear them say no.” (09:15)

Emotional Ripple Effect in Team Leadership (10:22)

• When leading a team (even just contractors), dysregulation no longer affects only you—it shapes your team’s environment.
• Feedback becomes fraught: leaders with RSD may avoid giving necessary feedback or spiral when they receive suggestions from employees.
  • “You end up either being too harsh because you're overcompensating, or too soft because you can't bear the thought of making someone feel how criticism makes you feel.” (12:10)
• Unstable emotional states create uncertainty and distrust, causing team members to “walk on eggshells, second guessing their communication or worse, losing confidence in your leadership.” (13:20)

Sector-Specific Impacts (Creative, Service, and Product Businesses) (14:12)

• Creative Professionals: Work feels deeply personal; every client revision can feel like an attack on one’s worth.
• Service-Based Businesses: RSD leads to chronic people-pleasing, scope creep, undercharging, and avoidance of necessary boundaries.
• Product Businesses: Emotional decisions affect inventory, marketing, and reactions to customer feedback (“A return request? Personal rejection.”).

The ADHD Entrepreneur’s Perfect Storm (17:45)

• Many ADHD entrepreneurs mistake emotional over-investment for passion, justifying unhealthy habits.
• “Working 80 hour weeks and calling it commitment when what we're actually doing is using our business as emotional regulation.” (18:05)
• Tunnel vision: success and self-worth become tied to business results, making every fluctuation a personal crisis.
• Neglect of basics (sleep, exercise, nutrition) worsens emotional regulation, fueling the cycle.
• Social media amplifies the volatility—dopamine chasing through likes and comparisons becomes its own addiction.

Passion vs. Dysregulation: The Nuance (23:38)

• “There is a fine line between passionate and dysregulated.”
• Passion is strategic fuel; dysregulation is the fire that burns everything down.
• Self-assessment: “Can you discuss your business without getting worked up? If someone asks about your pricing and you immediately get defensive, that's not passion, that's dysregulation.” (25:00)
• Other indicators: taking feedback personally, making decisions under emotional duress, overwhelming your team with intensity.

Tangible Business Costs of Dysregulation (27:27)

• Compromised financial decisions: underpricing, panicked overspending, reckless investments.
• Impossible strategic planning: “You cannot build a sustainable business when you're constantly in crisis mode, even if most of those crises exist primarily in your emotional response rather than objective reality.” (28:11)
• Poor risk assessment, team turnover, client dissatisfaction, and inevitable burnout.

Memorable Quotes

• “Everything feels like a priority, nothing gets properly filtered and you're constantly in reactive mode. The 0 to 100 phenomenon is real.” (02:37)
• “Social media becomes a dopamine slot machine that is set on torment.” (08:47)
• “Passion is fuel for your business engine. Dysregulation is the fire that burns down the building.” (24:33)
• “True passion is sustainable. It gives you energy rather than depleting it. It helps you make strategic decisions rather than reactive ones.” (26:16)
• “Sleep, movement, and nutrition are not optional for entrepreneurs with ADHD. These are business necessities disguised as self-care.” (35:10)
• “Your emotions are not an enemy. They're just a very enthusiastic business partner who needs some guidance about when to take the lead and when to step back.” (45:45)

Practical Strategies: Managing the Passion Paradox

Recognize Patterns & Early Warning Signs (31:33)

• Watch for physical tension, racing thoughts, all-or-nothing thinking, and urges to make immediate decisions.
• “When you notice these signs, that is your cue to pause, not push forward.” (32:14)

Pause Protocols & Circuit Breakers (33:02)

• Create ‘pause protocols’ (e.g., 10-minute walks, sleeping before major decisions, trusted advisor check-ins).
• Implement a 24- or 72-hour rule for big decisions to avoid acting while agitated.
• Build in “emotional circuit breakers”: Don’t respond to difficult emails right away, run finances by an advisor.

Build Emotional Scaffolding (34:58)

• Prioritize “business disguised as self-care”: regular sleep, exercise/movement, and nutrition.
• Structure work boundaries, even as a solopreneur—clear start/stop times, separate spaces for work.
• Schedule regular emotional check-ins as a form of “business intelligence.” (38:29)
• Set social media boundaries using timers/apps and scheduled breaks.

Adapt Your Environment (40:10)

• Structure your day to avoid known emotional triggers. (E.g., don’t check email first thing if it destabilizes you.)
• Use communication templates for common, challenging scenarios.
• Build in recovery periods after emotional conversations or crises.

Professional Support & Resources (41:52)

• Therapy: DBT and CBT are highlighted as effective.
• ADHD-informed business coaching: avoid “normie” coaches; seek ones who truly understand neurodivergence.
• Medication: For many, it improves both focus and emotional regulation. Severe rejection sensitivity can also be addressed medically.

Key Takeaways & Final Thoughts

• Emotional intensity is not inherently bad—in fact, it can be a tremendous business asset when channeled strategically.
• Practicing intentional emotional regulation helps ensure your passion fuels your business, rather than consuming it.
• “The goal... is to move from ‘I’m so emotional in business’ to ‘I feel deeply, which informs my decisions and I manage them strategically.’” (44:50)
• Your ADHD brain is not broken; you may just need better scaffolding and structure to harness its unique strengths.
• Diann’s closing advice: “With the right scaffolding in place, your emotional intensity becomes the engine that powers your sustainable success instead of the storm that threatens everything in its path.” (46:11)

Suggested Listening Segments

• Defining Emotional Dysregulation (01:10–04:00)
• Solopreneur Struggles & Triggers (04:05–10:00)
• Team Leadership & Emotional Ripple Effects (10:22–14:10)
• Passion vs. Dysregulation Nuance (23:38–27:26)
• Strategies for Emotional Scaffolding (31:33–41:50)
• Resources and Professional Help (41:52–44:00)

This episode offers a relatable, frank, and actionable look at how ADHD-driven entrepreneurs can distinguish sustaining passion from self-defeating emotional chaos, with tools to build businesses that thrive on—rather than despite—their emotional strengths.