Adult ADHD Tips – Top 10 Things I’ve Learned from Life Coaching

Podcast: Adult ADHD ADD Tips and Support
Host: Michael Joseph Ferguson
Episode Date: September 18, 2024

Episode Overview

This episode features author and ADHD life coach Michael Joseph Ferguson sharing the top 10 insights he's gained after 17 years of working with adults with ADHD. Aimed at reframing ADHD as a neurological type rather than a disorder, the episode offers compassionate, practical advice, especially for those early in their journey or those experiencing challenges. Michael focuses on understanding both the commonalities and uniqueness of ADHD—what tends to remain consistent, and what can change—with an emphasis on self-awareness, self-acceptance, system-building, and community support.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Job-Hunting Tips for Listeners in Transition

[03:11 - 07:49]

Before diving into the main topic, Michael shares quick, heartfelt advice for community members facing unemployment:

• Network actively:
  “Most jobs come from networking. Cold applications are great, but do not put all your eggs into that basket. Reach out to people, both friends and people you haven't spoken with in a while...” (03:31)
• Avoid isolation:
  “When you are out of a job, it's really easy to isolate and that's the worst thing you can do in that situation.” (04:24)
• Handle the ‘bread and butter’:
  It’s often helpful to get any job for structure and stability, using off-hours to pursue your greater goals.
• Play to your strengths:
  “Creativity, problem solving, sales... Jobs are really good. Teaching, performing, movement, anything that really exercises our ability, the things that our brain does naturally, those are the things going to be more of a fit for you.” (07:01)

The Problem & Solution

[08:15 - 09:33]

• Problem:
  It’s easy to lose perspective, especially when comparing oneself to neurotypical individuals (the "farmer type" vs. "hunter type" analogy).
• Solution:
  Gaining insight and perspective from someone experienced can help identify what can and can’t change, and what really works in the long run.

The Top 10 Insights From ADHD Life Coaching

1. We Are All Similar
[09:36]

• Most clients share common challenges:
  • Time management and perception, procrastination, overwhelm, trouble with follow-through, sleep and exercise challenges.
• The typical strengths:
  • Intelligence, creativity, sensitivity, adventurousness.
  • “Every single person I've worked with is Intelligent across the board... Talented, almost across the board...” (11:17)

2. We Are All Unique
[12:29]

• Each ADHD individual is more unique than similar.
• Influences: upbringing, environment, occupation, gender—ranging from artists to accountants.
• “There's no one size fits all. When I'm coaching, I'm locking into that particular person and I'm forgetting about anyone else I've worked with...” (12:34)
• Highlights diverse backgrounds and the variety of professional and personal circumstances.

3. We Are All Gifted
[15:31]

• Every person has a specific gift or skill they've honed, often underdeveloped due to lack of support, exercise, or diet.
• “Everyone has them. And when we're locked in, ‘Oh, I should be doing X, Y or Z because I'm looking at people around me.’ That's a trap that makes us all poor...” (16:36)

4. People Can Change (Sometimes Rapidly)
[17:15]

• With even a small amount of support, people can make great strides in short periods.
• Optimism about positive change: “Surprisingly, a little support can make a huge difference.” (17:28)

5. People Don’t Change (In Certain Ways)
[18:10]

• The “core operating system” remains the same; expecting to become neurotypical leads to disappointment.
• Quote via Ram Dass: “All these years... I’ve not lost one neurosis. I've not lost one neurotic tendency. They've just become like little schmoozes versus big bad monsters.” (19:52)
• Key metaphor: “If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let them go, because, man, they're gone.” (21:24)

6. Self-Awareness Brings Lasting Change
[23:00]

• Genuine growth comes from knowing and accepting one’s patterns—more than external tools or tips.
• “Self-awareness is actually what makes real, lasting change that sticks.” (23:20)
• Focus less on progress, more on consistently showing up with presence and reflection.

7. Resiliency Comes From Self-Acceptance
[25:00]

• “The speed at which you get back up again is resiliency.” (25:26)
• Lower the bar, avoid all-or-nothing thinking, and practice self-compassion and self-care.
• Resiliency leads to improved follow-through and overall progress.

8. We Expect Too Much of Our Nervous System
[27:50]

• ADHD nervous systems are wired for sensitivity and require more rest and nourishment.
• “Our nervous system requires rest, it requires extra nourishment than your neurotypical friends or companions.” (28:03)
• Acceptance of one's wiring is essential for peace and well-being.

9. Commitment to Showing Up Matters More Than Commitment to Growth
[29:40]

• “Commitment to showing up is more important than a commitment to growth.” (29:41)
• Real breakthroughs often happen when you least feel like participating.
• “Showing up is the win. Showing up creates growth.” (30:18)

10. People Who Do Well Build a Support System Around Them
[31:00]

• The #1 predictor of lasting positive change is a strong, tailored support network.
• “So few things in coaching are an absolute for everyone, but this one definitely is.” (31:06)
• Building community and support isn’t about being “broken”—it’s about honoring your gifts and challenges.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Growth happens because you show up. And it's those points that when you're most not wanting to do it is... that's often the cusp of you going to another level.” (29:50)
• “You don’t get mad at a fish because it can’t ride a bike, right? Fishes are doing something different.” (31:49)
• “Our strong suits are creativity, problem solving, sales, teaching, performing, movement—anything that really exercises our ability, the things that our brain does naturally, those are the things going to be more of a fit for you.” (07:01)

Important Timestamps

• [03:11] – Job-hunting advice for the ADHD community
• [08:15] – Framing the ‘problem and solution’ of ADHD life experience
• [09:36] – #1: Universality of struggles and strengths
• [12:29] – #2: Everyone’s ADHD manifests differently
• [15:31] – #3: The reality of unique gifts
• [17:15] – #4: The potential for rapid change
• [18:10] – #5: The limits of personal change
• [23:00] – #6: Power of self-awareness
• [25:00] – #7: Resiliency as a measure of progress
• [27:50] – #8: Recognizing and supporting your nervous system
• [29:40] – #9: Value of consistency in showing up
• [31:00] – #10: The importance of building your support system

Concluding Thoughts

Michael Joseph Ferguson closes by reiterating that true ADHD progress comes from embracing both self-awareness and self-acceptance, focusing on building supportive systems, and consistently showing up for oneself—even when it feels most difficult. The episode offers both hope and realism, encouraging listeners to see their wiring as a gift and to seek the support that will allow them to thrive.

For more information and resources:

• Visit drummerandthegreatmountain.com
• Email: info@drummerandthegreatmountain.com
• Consider workshops on mind mapping and time management (dates TBA)