Afford Anything Podcast: "Your Last Thoughts Won't Be About Money" with Dr. Jordan Grumet
Host: Paula Pant
Guest: Dr. Jordan Grumet
Release Date: January 10, 2025
Network: Cumulus Podcast Network
Introduction: Valuing Time Over Money
In the episode titled "Your Last Thoughts Won't Be About Money," Paula Pant welcomes Dr. Jordan Grumet, a seasoned hospice doctor, to delve deep into the themes of time, purpose, and the inevitable reflections that accompany the end of life. Paula sets the stage by emphasizing that while money is often the focus, the true essence of life revolves around how we allocate our most precious resource: time.
Notable Quote:
"Our most valuable asset and our most valuable resource is time. And the ultimate limitation to time is the amount of time that we spend here on this planet." — Paula Pant [00:00]
Dr. Grumet's Journey to Hospice Care
Dr. Grumet shares his transition into hospice work, which began in 2010. Initially experiencing burnout in general internal medicine, he discovered hospice care almost serendipitously when a colleague recognized his aptitude for end-of-life care. What started as a side hustle soon became a profound part of his professional and personal life.
Notable Quote:
"I realized that some of the physical stuff was really easy to treat... dealing with some of the emotional fallout of being a human being is something that I evolved to start really understanding." — Dr. Jordan Grumet [02:11]
Evolution of Hospice Care: From Physical to Emotional Support
Initially focused on the technical aspects of patient care—managing pain and physical symptoms—Dr. Grumet's role evolved to address the deeper emotional and existential questions patients face as they approach the end of life. Conversations shifted from clinical outcomes to life reviews, where patients reflect on meaningful moments, relationships, and unpursued passions.
Notable Quote:
"When we're young, regrets can become the nucleus of purpose. Because often if we think, 'If I were to be on my deathbed, I'd really regret this,' it's a great place to start thinking about what I call a purpose anchor." — Dr. Jordan Grumet [02:48]
Understanding Regrets and Purpose Anchors
Dr. Grumet introduces the concept of "purpose anchors," which are the foundational inklings or beckonings that guide individuals toward a purposeful life. These anchors often emerge from regrets—past inactions or unpursued passions—that, when acknowledged and acted upon, can drive a life of meaning and fulfillment.
Notable Quote:
"But when we're young, regrets can become the nucleus of purpose. It's time to get in the arena and fight the valiant fight." — Dr. Jordan Grumet [02:48]
Little 'p' Purpose vs. Big 'P' Purpose
A central theme of the discussion is the distinction between "little p" purpose and "Big P" Purpose. Little 'p' purpose refers to everyday activities and passions that bring joy and fulfillment, while Big 'P' Purpose involves grand, often societal goals like curing cancer or becoming a world leader. Dr. Grumet argues that little 'p' purpose is more attainable and can lead to significant personal impact through community connections and authentic engagement.
Notable Quotes:
"Little p purpose focuses on the process rather than the outcome." — Dr. Jordan Grumet [14:14]
"Little p purpose just connects you to other people and it brings you those connections." — Dr. Jordan Grumet [14:14]
Purpose Anxiety: Origins and Solutions
Dr. Grumet discusses "purpose anxiety," a prevalent issue where individuals feel overwhelmed by societal and familial expectations to find a singular, grand purpose. This anxiety is exacerbated by social media and marketing, which often present an idealized version of success and purpose. He emphasizes that building a purposeful life is an active, ongoing process that doesn't require conforming to external expectations.
Notable Quote:
"Up to 91% of people at some point in their life have what's called purpose anxiety." — Dr. Jordan Grumet [14:36]
Tools and Levers for Building a Purposeful Life
To combat purpose anxiety and cultivate a life of fulfillment, Dr. Grumet introduces three primary strategies:
- Joy of Addition: Incorporate activities that bring joy and fulfillment into your routine.
- Art of Subtraction: Remove or reduce activities that cause dissatisfaction or drain your energy.
- Substitution: Replace unwanted activities with more fulfilling ones, ensuring that changes align with personal purpose anchors.
Notable Quotes:
"The joy of addition is adding purposeful activities, even in small increments." — Dr. Jordan Grumet [31:17]
"The art of subtraction is removing burdensome tasks to make space for what truly matters." — Dr. Jordan Grumet [31:17]
"Substitution is changing one thing for another to better align with your purpose." — Dr. Jordan Grumet [41:31]
Practical Examples: From Social Media to Side Hustles
Dr. Grumet provides tangible examples to illustrate these strategies. For instance, reducing social media time to allocate moments for reading about a childhood passion or starting a side hustle that aligns with one's interests. These small, consistent changes can lead to a more purposeful and satisfying life over time.
Notable Quote:
"Even if, in that 15 minutes, you stare at a blog about baseball cards, that's 15 more minutes of little p purpose than you had before." — Dr. Jordan Grumet [26:17]
Impact and Legacy Through Little 'p' Purpose
The discussion transitions to the broader implications of little 'p' purpose on one's legacy. Dr. Grumet shares heartfelt stories, including that of his maternal grandfather, whose seemingly modest passions had lasting impacts on his family and community. These narratives underscore that true legacy stems from authentic, everyday actions rather than monumental achievements.
Notable Quote:
"Little p purpose is what we remember about him... Those fantastic conversations that his children will then carry on with their children." — Dr. Jordan Grumet [69:48]
Navigating Conflicting Expectations and Maintaining Relationships
Dr. Grumet acknowledges the challenges of pursuing personal purpose in the face of societal and familial expectations. He advises open, honest conversations to convey the importance of aligning one's life with genuine passions. While difficult, these discussions are essential for personal fulfillment and maintaining healthy relationships.
Notable Quote:
"How can you show the people who love you that doing something that lights you up is going to make you their best family member, friend, or colleague?" — Dr. Jordan Grumet [52:06]
Dealing with Regrets: Action vs. Inaction
Addressing the inevitable topic of regrets, Dr. Grumet differentiates between action regret (regretting past actions) and inaction regret (regretting missed opportunities). He emphasizes leveraging these regrets as catalysts to build a purposeful life, transforming past experiences into meaningful actions that contribute to personal growth and community impact.
Notable Quotes:
"Inaction regret is there was this thing important to me that I didn't do, and I regret never doing it." — Dr. Jordan Grumet [59:19]
"Even action regrets can be anchors to start building a life of purpose." — Dr. Jordan Grumet [59:19]
Key Takeaways: Building a Life of Purpose
As the episode concludes, Paula Pant and Dr. Grumet summarize the core lessons:
-
Purpose Doesn’t Have to Be Monumental: Small, enjoyable activities (little 'p' purpose) are equally valuable and often lead to greater impact through community connections.
Quote:
"Purpose doesn't have to be world-changing. Small, enjoyable activities that light you up are just as valuable." — Paula Pant [74:08]
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Start with Small Changes Using Available Tools: Utilizing available resources such as youth, energy, relationships, and skills can facilitate the gradual incorporation of purposeful activities without requiring significant financial investment.
Quote:
"Use what you've got. That's the second key takeaway." — Paula Pant [75:44]
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Side Hustles Can Create Gradual Freedom: Engaging in side projects aligned with personal passions can lead to increased flexibility, autonomy, and control over one’s time and life trajectory.
Quote:
"Side hustles can create gradual freedom by using the joy of addition to start something new while maintaining your current job." — Paula Pant [76:05]
Final Thoughts: Embracing Little 'p' Purpose for Lasting Fulfillment
Dr. Grumet leaves listeners with a poignant reminder that true fulfillment and legacy stem from the pursuit of activities that genuinely light their spirits. By integrating little 'p' purpose into daily life, individuals not only enhance their own well-being but also contribute to their communities in meaningful ways.
Final Quote:
"I want you all to pursue little p purpose because I want you all to do the same thing... you've got to go after it, and things progressively in your life can get better." — Dr. Jordan Grumet [39:43]
Connect with Dr. Jordan Grumet:
For more insights and resources, visit jordangrumet.com, where you can explore his books, podcasts, and other content focused on building a life of purpose.
Join the Conversation:
If you found this summary valuable, share it with friends, family, and colleagues. Embrace the journey of integrating purposeful activities into your life and witness the transformative impact it can have on your happiness and legacy.
This episode serves as a profound exploration into the essence of living a meaningful life, emphasizing that the accumulation of small, intentional actions can lead to lasting fulfillment and a legacy that transcends material wealth.