AEE 2223: Are You Thinking This is Tricky English Grammar?

Summary

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All Ears English Podcast – Episode 2223: “Are You Thinking This is Tricky English Grammar?”

Date: June 25, 2024
Hosts: Lindsay McMahon & Aubrey Carter

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Episode Overview

In this second part of a three-part series, Lindsay and Aubrey tackle the evolving use of stative verbs in English, focusing specifically on thoughts and opinions. While textbooks often teach that stative verbs (like think, know, believe, understand) are not used in the progressive (–ing) form, the hosts explain how modern spoken American English sometimes bends this rule. The discussion is aimed at helping intermediate-to-advanced learners sound more natural in conversation and understand what native speakers are really saying.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Listener Question: Stative Verbs in the Present Continuous

[03:17–03:56]
A listener asks why certain stative verbs appear in the progressive tense (e.g., "Are you thinking?") even though most ESL instruction says that's incorrect.

Aubrey’s Take:

• This use is primarily spoken English and reflective of how the language is always evolving.
• Aubrey describes it as “trendy” and not something that was common “many years ago.”

  “It's really more for spoken English. Yes and yes, because language evolves… It's like trendy.” – Aubrey [03:56]

2. Spoken vs. Written English

[06:18–06:40]

• These progressive state verbs are generally not used in formal written English, only in speech or casual written communication (texts, informal emails).

  “If I were writing some kind of report... I would rework my thought. I think we must have made a mistake.” – Lindsay [06:18]

3. Stative Verbs You CAN Use in the Progressive Form

[06:03–08:14]

a) Think

• “I'm thinking we made a mistake.” → Emphasizes momentary, in-the-moment thought.

b) Agree

• “I'm agreeing with you.” → Used rarely for emphasis in a heated or clarifying moment, not in general.

c) Doubt

• “I'm doubting myself.” → Momentary lack of confidence.

d) Guess

• “I'm guessing he won't like this.” → Shows your present, active speculation.

e) Others

• “Imagine” and “remember” can sometimes follow this pattern (e.g., “I'm remembering what happened last week”).

“If you have to pick a few to start using in present progressive to sound more native... these are the ones you want to choose.” – Aubrey [08:29]

4. Stative Verbs You CANNOT Use in the Progressive Form

[09:27–12:28]

a) Believe

• Wrong: “I'm believing you.”
• Correct: “I believe you.”

b) Prefer

• Wrong: “I'm preferring oatmeal cookies.”
• Correct: “I prefer oatmeal cookies.”

  “Prefer is definitely a very muted verb.” – Lindsay [10:46]

c) Know

• Wrong: “I'm knowing this.”
• Correct: “I know this.”

d) Mean

• Wrong: “She's meaning what she's saying.”
• Correct: “She means what she says.”

e) Understand

• Wrong: “I'm understanding you.”
• Correct: “I understand.”

Note on Noun/Adjective Forms:
Words like "meaning" and "understanding" exist as nouns/adjectives, which can confuse learners, but they should not be used as progressive verbs in the sense of “mean” or “understand.”

“If you see the word ‘meaning,’ that is not a stative verb being used. ...English is tricky and these words also exist in other forms.” – Aubrey [11:16]

5. Why the Distinction?

• The ability to use a progressive form relates to whether the situation is momentary (action-like) versus fixed (state-like).
• More emotional, dynamic verbs (e.g., "love" or "think") more readily shift into the progressive than static ones (e.g., "prefer," "know”).

“What's the temperature level of what you're saying? Prefer is definitely a very muted verb.” – Lindsay [10:46]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the evolving nature of English:

  “Language is evolving. It's right. Casual English. It's not a grammar error.” – Aubrey [13:32]

• On native, conversational patterns:

  “What are you thinking? That's such a good point. We don't say, what do you think?” – Aubrey [14:09]

  “If you want to tell someone you understand where they're coming from, just say 'I understand.'” – Lindsay [12:09]

• On confidence using these forms:

  “Native English speakers are not going to hear this and think it's a mistake... It sounds very natural.” – Aubrey [15:38]

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• [02:08] – Real-life scheduling example with “When are you thinking?”
• [03:56] – Aubrey’s take on evolving language & spoken English
• [06:03]–[08:49] – Stative verbs you can and can’t use with –ing
• [09:27]–[12:28] – Why some verbs never take the progressive form
• [13:08]–[13:58] – Role-play: using stative verbs in context
• [14:09]–[14:49] – Breakdown of “What are you thinking?” vs “What do you think?”
• [15:38] – Reassurance about native-speaker usage and why learners shouldn’t fear making these “gray area” choices.

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Example Roleplay: (Restaurant Scenario)

[13:08–13:58]

• “This place seems amazing. I’m thinking I want to taste everything on this menu.”
• “Well, I usually prefer the place in midtown, but I’m excited to try something new.”
• “I’m guessing we couldn’t get in there, though. I doubt we could get a reservation.”

The hosts use this role-play to demonstrate how these “gray area” progressive verbs function organically in real life, especially in casual dining or decision-making situations.

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Takeaway & Tone

Lindsay and Aubrey encourage listeners:

• Don’t be afraid of the “gray areas” of English; using progressive stative verbs in conversation can help you sound more native and make connections.
• Focus on connection, not perfection—even with nontraditional grammar.
• Use progressive forms for certain stative verbs to express momentary thoughts or feelings and invite others into your thinking.

“Stative verbs are such a great way to connect because often these are about what you're feeling, what you're thinking, and you want to be able to share that... to deepen your connections.” – Aubrey [17:45]

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Summary Table: Which Stative Verbs Work with “–ing”?

| Verb | Progressive Okay? | Example | Not Okay Example | |:----------- |:----------------:|:------------------------------------- |:--------------------- | | Think | ✅ | “I’m thinking we made a mistake.” | – | | Agree | ✅ (rare/emphasis)| “I’m agreeing with you!” | – | | Doubt | ✅ | “I’m doubting myself right now.” | – | | Guess | ✅ | “I’m guessing he won’t like this.” | – | | Believe | ❌ | – | "I'm believing you." | | Prefer | ❌ | – | "I'm preferring this."| | Know | ❌ | – | "I'm knowing this." | | Mean | ❌ | – | "She’s meaning this." | | Understand | ❌ | – | "I’m understanding." |

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Final Thoughts

This episode demystifies a nuanced feature of spoken American English—when and how to use progressive forms with stative verbs. The guidance is clear: Use the progressive intentionally in casual conversation to show your live, in-the-moment thought process, but avoid it with certain verbs and in formal contexts.

Key takeaway:

"Connection, not perfection—even in grammar. Use what feels right to connect."

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Transcript

[A]

This is an All Ears English podcast. Episode 2223 are you thinking this is tricky English grammar?

[B]

Welcome to the All Ears English podcast. Downloaded more than 200 million times. Are you feeling stuck with your English? We'll show you how to become fearless and fluent by focusing on connection, not perfection. With your American host, Aubrey Carter, the IELTS whiz and Lindsey McMahon, the English adventurer, coming to you from Arizona and Colorado, usa. To get real time transcripts right on your phone and create your personalized vocabulary list, try the All Ears English app for iOS and Android. Start your seven day free trial at allearsenglish.com forward/app.

[C]

We're guessing this episode is going to boost your English fluency. In this second part of a three part series, we dive into stative verbs for thoughts and opinions. When can you use verb ing and when should you stick with present tense? Find out today to deepen connections in English.

[D]

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[A]

Hey Aubrey, quick update. So I am flying to Boston next Friday morning, so we need to record on a different day. We normally record on Fridays but can't do it.

[C]

Okay, no problem. When are you thinking?

[A]

Oh, I wonder if our listeners, our listeners just had an inside look into our typical conversations. Right, right.

[C]

I love it. Right. Scheduling recording. And this is interesting because I didn't say when do you think? Said when are you thinking? Which might have sounded strange to some of you or you might have been thinking like yes. Why do native speakers say that? I don't understand. That's not what I learned.

[A]

Yes. I'm so excited. In this series we're letting our listeners in on a little secret. Right? That some of these stated verbs can actually be used in the ing form. So cool. So exactly. Yes.

[C]

And in part one of the series we answered a question specifically about like love these stative verbs of emotion. So don't miss that. If you missed it. Scroll up. It's episode 2220. Like or liking your grammar questions answered. Be sure to hit follow so that you don't miss this awesome series. This is part two of a three part series.

[A]

Lovely. Hit that follow button. Guys, I'm going to read the question from our listener. Unfortunately, we don't have the listener's name, but we appreciate any and all questions, especially specific questions. Right, Aubrey?

[C]

Absolutely.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So send them into support allersenglish.com we'll make sure it gets to our. To our team, to you, Aubrey, to Michelle, to plan these episodes. And we will, yes, feature your question on the show. All right, here we go. All right, so the grammar question, which I understand but can't explain, is the use of stative verbs. For example, want, understand in the present continuous tense. We non native speakers have always been taught that those kinds of verbs are normally not used in the progressive tenses. Has this rule been changed? If so, is that for spoken English only and generally, is it because the language is always evolving right off the bat. What do you think, Aubry?

[C]

What's your. I love this question. And you have really hit the nail on the head. Whoever this listener is who sent it in, both of those are accurate. It's really more for spoken English. Yes and yes. Because language evolves and this is. It's like trendy. Right? To. To do this. And I. I think that once upon a time, many years ago, it wasn't the case.

[A]

Yeah, it's so fun because I watched the show Ghosts. I've told you about the show. You really should check it out. It's such a cute show. And it's done because they take all these ghosts that died on this upstate New York mansion property all the way back to, like the 1500s. So you have people from the roaring 20s, one person from the roaring 20s, One person from the revolutionary times, and they all speak differently. Right. That's the part that I find the most interesting. And, you know, so people, like, wouldn't.

[C]

Say, when are you thinking?

[A]

No loving chocolate cake. No, honestly, like, even the guy from the 90s, there's this guy, Pete, this character from the 90s, and he's so 90s. Oh, my God, he's great.

[C]

That's awesome.

[A]

He wouldn't have even said that. So.

[C]

Because it's new, yes, it's evolving, it's trendy. But we do. We do it a lot. You guys are hearing it a lot. And we get a lot of questions about this. So I'm excited we're doing this series to clarify for you guys when you can do it, because some stative verbs we do this with, but some you really can't. So we dove into emotions like, like. And love in that first part. Today we are talking about these other kinds of verbs, Thoughts and opinions. Stative verbs. Sometimes we can do this and sometimes we can't.

[A]

Yeah. So we have a category of two buckets today of the ones that you can actually put them into the progressive as well as just the present form. And then we have a bucket where you cannot.

[C]

Where we do not do this. Absolutely. And these are just the most common stative verbs. This is certainly not an exhaustive list. There are a bunch, but these are the ones that are going to come up really often in conversations for you.

[A]

Okay, cool. So let's go through what. What are the ones in the bucket of? You can actually go ahead and experiment in the present continuous tense.

[C]

What would you say? Awesome. So first think. Right. We definitely say, like, I think so. I think this. But then we also will say, ooh, I'm thinking we made a mistake. And we're making it more of a momentary action that. I'm currently thinking this. Maybe next week I'll change my mind. Yeah.

[A]

And again, I want to re. Emphasize the first part of the question from the listener. Is it for spoken English only? Yes. I wouldn't really. If, you know, if I were writing some kind of report, I wouldn't really, because this is articulating thoughts live exactly in the moment. I would rework my thought. I think we must have made a mistake. I believe we made a mistake. Right, right.

[C]

And so for informal texts or emails, we write like we speak. So you might see this. But for formal writing, just like you said, Lindsay, we would say, we wouldn't say this. It's very much spoken English.

[A]

Yeah, totally. And then agree. Okay, this one. So I'm agreeing with you. Don't worry. Stop freaking out. I'm agreeing with you. Right. I'm actually.

[C]

This is very specific. Right. Usually we would just say, I agree with you in general, we're talking about our state of mind. But if you are in the moment having a conversation and someone says, you're not listening to my side, and you say, I'm agreeing with you, you're not listening to me. You're talking about right now, in this moment. Listen to me, what I'm saying. I'm agreeing with you.

[A]

Right? Totally. And then doubt I'm doubting myself. Right. Or I doubt that.

[C]

Or in general, like, you doubt something in general. But right now, in this moment, I might say, oh, I'm doubting myself.

[A]

You can also say on a regular basis, I doubt myself. Right?

[C]

Yes, absolutely right. Both work. It all depends on the context and the time. This is all about, like, is this a Momentary thought. A momentary action. I'm turning it into an action verb. Or is it a state of verb? Is it a state of mind?

[A]

Guessing. I'm guessing he won't like this. Very common to hear that.

[C]

Absolutely. And of course we say, I guess not. You know, we'll also use this as a stative verb, in which case present simple. But when we are talking about this momentary action, I agree. This is so common. I do this all the time. I'm guessing he'll be late. I'm guessing we shouldn't do this. And it's because I'm talking about my state of mind right now in this moment.

[A]

Yeah, that's a really good one. Really puts you into people into your mind. Right. It really. It is kind of a connection phrase. I'm guessing this will happen because. Yeah. It gives your people. It gives people you're talking to a slice of your mind.

[C]

Love it. Yes. And there are more. Right. Like imagine, remember we might say I'm remembering that last week it's. There are more, but these are the most common. Definitely. If you have to pick a few to start using in present progressive to sound more native today, these are the ones you want to choose.

[A]

All right, cool. Now we're going to take a break and then we'll come back to the ones that we cannot change into ing. Yeah.

[C]

Yes.

[E]

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[A]

Okay, we are back. So Aubry believe would be our first one that. Can we say believing.

[C]

Right. We say I believe you. I believe this because we're talking about something, a belief. That's not something we talk about as being true in a moment. We don't give it time. I would never say like, I'm believing you. I'm believing it. This is.

[A]

Yeah, we don't.

[C]

We don't say it that way.

[A]

What about preferences? What can we do there?

[C]

Same thing for all of these. Don't use them. We don't recommend using them. In present progressive, you're going to say like, I prefer oatmeal raisin cookies. We would not say I'm preferring this because it's such A this is just like a solid state of verb that you can't turn into an action.

[A]

Yeah. In the other episode we talked about, oh, I'm really liking these new restaurants cropping up in Denver. Right. But I wouldn't say. It seems like you should be able to say, I'm really preferring these new restaurants cropping up in Denver, but you can't. So it doesn't follow the same logic.

[C]

Of the beauty to pull in a pro tip from part one. Make sure to go listen to it, guys. It's a lot about how much passion is there. And prefer is so neutral for this type of cookies. I'm loving chocolate chip cookies, though.

[A]

Yeah. That was kind of our takeaway from that episode was what's the let. What's the temperature level of what you're saying?

[C]

Their emotion is their passion. Absolutely.

[A]

Prefer is definitely a very muted verb.

[C]

Yep, exactly. So don't say I'm preferring. Just I prefer all of these. Don't say I'm believing I'm preferring. Nope. Right.

[A]

And then I know that we almost never. We don't say we never say because same as believe.

[C]

Right. It's really the same meaning. I know this or I don't. Not going to say I'm knowing this right now. No. Yeah.

[A]

No. Doesn't work. Mean I mean it. Or she means what she says. Never say she's meaning what she's saying. No, exactly.

[C]

And this is the first one that's really tricky because that word meaning does exist, but it's a noun. Right. The meaning of this sentence is blank. That is not at all related to the verb mean. So don't let yourself get confused. If you see the word meaning that is not a state of verb being used. The ing. Unfortunately, English is tricky and these words also exist in other forms.

[A]

And we're going to see that one more time right now. Exactly what is that? Where do we have to be careful also understand.

[C]

We only say I understand. Right. This, this understand. You know the. When we talk about these being thoughts and opinions. Right. This is my thought that I understand. And we wouldn't say I'm understanding you.

[A]

Like, what do you mean?

[C]

I understand. But that word does exist. Right, Lindsay? Understanding.

[A]

Yeah. We have an understanding.

[C]

Right.

[A]

Or I'm very understanding.

[C]

Both. Exactly. We have the noun.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

We have this understanding. It's a thing. And then we also have the adjective I'm an understanding person. So because that word exists as an adjective in a noun, you might be confused and try to use it as a state of verb ing. We don't say it that way. If you want to tell someone you understand where they're coming from, just say, I understand. I understand where you're coming from.

[A]

That could be another great episode for our listeners.

[C]

Aubry is the ones that exist as ing. There's so much trick or roots that.

[A]

Exist in verb form, noun form, adjective form. And how do we parse out the differences using context? It can. I mean, even native speakers can sometimes get confused with some of them, I think. Yeah.

[C]

Yeah, absolutely. And we have done some episodes that are related, where adjectives and nouns, like, how do we use them? Be sure you're hitting follow, because I agree, Lindsay. I think we should dive into that again in the future.

[A]

Okay. Let's put it into life here. We've been doing a lot of definitions, examples. Let's put it into a role play. We are eating at a restaurant. Love that. Right.

[C]

Start us out.

[A]

So this place seems amazing. I'm thinking I want to taste everything on this menu.

[C]

It does all look delicious.

[A]

Well, I usually prefer the place in midtown, but I'm excited to try something new.

[C]

I'm guessing we couldn't get in there, though. I doubt we could get a reservation.

[A]

Nice.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Yes. So I'm thinking I want to taste everything on the menu. Very common, very trendy.

[C]

Absolutely. And both would work here. You could say, I think I want to taste everything on the menu. Absolutely. Exact same meaning. But because you can also make it this momentary action more in the moment, you can say this. I'm thinking, I want to taste everything on this menu. It might sound grammatically incorrect to you guys out there listening. You found out in textbooks, teachers told you not to do that. We do it. Language is evolving. It's right. Casual English. It's not a grammar error.

[A]

Right.

[C]

It's just the way we speak. Yeah.

[A]

And you sit down, had to have dinner with anyone, and you get handed the menu. The first thing that your dining partner is going to look across the table, say, what are you thinking?

[C]

What are you thinking? That's such a good point. We don't say, what do you think?

[A]

It'd be like, what do I think about what?

[C]

About what? I know it's what are you thinking? Which means, what do you think you're going to order?

[A]

I would say, what do you think? If it's more like a big life decision that's going beyond just this moment, looking at this menu, hey, what do you think I should do about this problem? Right. That's different.

[C]

Yeah. Yes, absolutely. Whereas, what are you thinking? It's Very much about this moment. You're looking at the menu. What do you think you'll order? What do you think?

[A]

Yeah, but so common. Incredibly common. Yeah. And to think that this isn't really being taught around the world in textbooks. From what we gather from our listeners, there's big gaps missing, guys.

[C]

That's why you have. When I went to prepare this, we've gotten all of these questions from students, and I did a little Google search, and there's not much out there, because I think this is one of those gray areas where some of the grammar. Some of the grammar websites are like, we can't teach this because textbooks often say it's incorrect. So you'll see it in forums and be like, oh, yeah, we say it this. This way. But it can be confusing when you're trying to learn from forums because there will be people disagreeing with each other.

[A]

Yeah, we like to hang out in the gray areas of English, don't we?

[C]

Absolutely. That's what we come here. We will share. This is how we talk, and this is how you can talk to.

[A]

Because our value is higher than the. The linguistic guide or the dictionary. It's about connection, and whether you're saying it correctly or incorrectly or in the gray area, you can connect, and that should be the goal. So just to make sure we want.

[C]

To hear is these will make you sound like a native. Native English speakers are not going to hear this and think it's a mistake. They're going to hear this and think you sound. You're speaking the way they speak. It sounds very natural.

[A]

There's more connection there. Sure. Okay. So finishing up here. I usually prefer the place in midtown, but I'm excited to try something new. In that case. We never go into ing with that one.

[C]

You would never say, I'm preferring the place in midtown these days. It just sounds strange. Right. Just. I usually prefer. It's too muted. Yep. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. Okay.

[C]

When I said, I'm guessing we couldn't get in there, though, and this really, I'm guessing, is very common. I wouldn't say, I guess we couldn't get in there. That. That's a different meaning. I could say I'm thinking we couldn't get in there, though. These have the same meaning of, like, right now, in this moment. This is what I'm thinking.

[A]

Yeah, exactly. And you have an opportunity to use a little intonation here, too, with. I'm guessing. I'm guessing. Right. I'm guessing we couldn't get in there, though. You're kind of Putting forth a point of view.

[C]

Yeah. It's just an assumption, like a guess, but this is the way we say it to almost, like, soften it, to be like, I don't know for sure, but I'm guessing this.

[A]

Yeah, it's a bit of softening going on. And then I. You said at the end, I doubt we could get a reservation. Yeah. So those midtown restaurants. Hard to get a reservation, but these days I wonder if that's changing. With so many people working from home at lunchtime. I wonder if it's easier to eat at the fancy places in midtown.

[C]

Yeah. I don't know as far as New York, but in Arizona, it's. It's hard to get a reservation these days. And a lot of places aren't taking reservations. You just have to go and wait an hour.

[A]

Oh, yeah, places do that now. Yeah, it's true. And everyone has to be there before you actually put your name in. Have you seen that?

[C]

Absolutely. We see that a lot. It's so hard. It's hard. Doesn't work for us. We want to be able to show up and eat.

[A]

I know.

[C]

And this last one, I think it's good to point out you could say either here. Right. I could have said I'm doubting we could get a reservation or I doubt we could get a reservation. These really are interchangeable in that context.

[A]

Yes.

[D]

Love it.

[A]

What's the takeaway? I think we said it a little bit earlier, is we're hanging out in a gray area here, guys. And, you know, we're not linguists. Our value is connection.

[C]

Okay, Absolutely. Yes, exactly. We want you guys to be able to connect. And stative verbs are such a great way to connect because often these are about what you're feeling, what you're thinking, and you want to be able to share that with those in English that you're speaking to in order to deepen your connections.

[A]

Yeah, it's such. Such an opportunity. Anytime you're sharing something from your own mind and heart, it's such an opportunity. And bringing people in with the ing just brings it to life.

[C]

Absolutely.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

I love it. I'm excited for you guys to have these tips to know which verbs, which state of verbs you can do this with and which you should avoid so that you can deepen those connections.

[A]

All right, good stuff, Aubry. I'll see you back here very soon. Awesome.

[C]

Thanks, Lindsay.

[A]

All right, bye.

[C]

By.

[B]

Thanks for listening to Allears English. Would you like to know your English level? Take our two minute quiz. Go to allearsenglish.comfluencyscore and if you believe in connection, not perfection, then hit subscribe now to make sure you don't miss anything. See you next time.

[D]

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